Teaching Kids To Manage Technology | Tea & Tips | ImpactParents

How do I teach my kids to manage technology? How can I get my kids off of their phones, video games and other tech without a fight?
Your kids may be more tech savvy than you are, but that doesn’t mean you can’t get the support you need to help your kids improve their use of technology! Download the FREE tipsheet "Digital Support for Parents of Complex Kids" bit.ly/DigitalSupport-yt
Diane: So we get lots and lots of questions about technology. And one of the most common ones is about the fact that kids need technology to be successful in school, so they have to do their homework on an iPad or they have to watch-
Elaine: On the computer or whatever.
Diane: And we've all been there. Right? So that moment when they walk in the room and you can see the light change in the computer because you know they've been doing something other than their homework.
Elaine: Right. And they flip the screen as soon as you walk in as if you're not going to notice.
Diane: Exactly. And so, what do you do to help your child to be able to have a good relationship with technology? Use it for what they need to get it done and not be constantly distracted by other things.
Elaine: And not want to kill the school in the process. Well, so I think what you spoke to is the first and most important part, right? Which is that our job in terms of technology is to teach them to consciously manage their technology because this is a lifelong issue. So I think that we're digital transplants, right? Our kids are digital natives. This is their world and it's unlikely to change. And so instead of resisting it and demonizing it, what we really need to do is to figure out how to embrace it and help them learn to be with it in a way that works for them.
Diane: Well, and a lot of parents will be like, "Okay, we're a no-screen household." And that's going to work for a while-
Elaine: Until they have school assignments.
Diane: ... and so they need to have the technology. And so, again, what we're really trying to do is to help our kids to have healthy relationships with technology, to learn to manage technology. And I think part of that is not saying what we've decided a healthy relationships should be, because that can be really hard.
Elaine: But raising their awareness to it. We want them to start to think about their relationship with technology.
Diane: So, for example, a lot of parents will be like, "My kid takes three hours to get their homework done because they're constantly going back and forth between their homework and video games." And I had one kid who would do this.
Elaine: I did, too.
Diane: But the reality is, he didn't care.
Elaine: Neither did she.
Diane: He did not care that it took three hours to do his homework because he liked-
Elaine: The breaks.
Diane: He liked the diversity of, "I'm doing homework for awhile, and now I'm watching this for a while." And if your child has a hard time transitioning back to the work, it's a different kind of conversation.
Elaine: But then you take aim on that issue... instead of the demonizing of, "You can't take breaks because." Right.
Diane: So part of that is about helping your kids to recognize the natural breaks. So, helping them to... If they're going to do things on technology, to do things that do have breaks, to start. So, RUclips videos, having them watching things that are shorter and so that every time a video stops, they pause and go, "Okay, what should I be doing now? Can I watch another video?"
Elaine: So what... If we pull back from that, really, the context here is to really be in a conversation with them about what works for them. Helping them see, "This works for me, this doesn't." I had one kid I remember who used to give me her passwords during exams and she would say, "Can you change them for me?" And then change them back after exams.
Diane: Right. But it's about collaborative problem solving. I think that's the piece of it. Even at young ages, you want to involve your child in solving the problem. Instead of saying, "Okay, this is our house rule and this is how we're going to do it," because they're going to rely on an external control to manage their relationship with technology.
Elaine: And it's probably the most important thing for them to learn to get a handle on in their lives because it really isn't going away. So-
Diane: And, you know what? It's not-
Elaine: ... engaging with them.
"Teaching Kids To Manage Technology" -- This Tea & Tips was originally posted on ImpactParents.com. Read more: impactparents.com/blog/comple...
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[@theresephillips8593]

Thank you, thank you, thank you, for saying that we need to teach kids to have a responsible relationship with technology because it is not going away!! . I have been saying this to all of my friends. They are so into control over their kids and parents know best! And telling me that I need to have total parental control over my kids screen. I believe that I need to work WITH my two boys, that both have ADHD and one has Asperger‘s, to help them understand how screens affect them. My friends tell me that I just need to set down the rule for them. I believe that we need to work with our children to understand how to take self responsibility (we won’t always be there to tell them to turn a screen off). I am doing your program Digital Sanity Summit 2020 and it is so refreshing to hear that more people are finally starting to realize how screens affect all of us, but especially young developing minds of kids. And that power struggles can be so much less when we cooperate. Our kids are not OURS, they are little humans with amazing individual spirits for us to help GUIDE in life, not control. Thank you again for doing this summit during this coronavirus 2020 international shut down when so many kids will be on screens so much more than usual. Maybe when we come out of this we can all have a new understanding of screen time and health.

[@ImpactParents]

Thanks, Therese, for those kind words! We're so glad we've been able to provide you with some support -- especially during this challenging time! And thank you for attending the Digital Sanity Summit! We're so glad you found it helpful. Please let us know if we can do anything else to help you!