My advice as a guy who's married for 4 years. Don't think about Divorce. Try to fix your marriage, don't focus on other woman. The grass isn't always greener on the other side. Water the grass that you have now.
Yep a lot of us nowadays, as soon as the smallest fight/disagreement happens, we consider divorce, astaghfirullah. The one thing Allah hates the most which is permissable is divorce I've heard. I pray for a peaceful and love filled marriage for all of us, ameen.
If a guy marries a woman who he later wants to divorce, then he clearly chose the wrong woman or even worse, a bad woman. This is very common in arranged marriages where the man is coerced to marry an incompatible woman.
@@beachboy_boobybuilderthere’s a reason arranged marriage is heavily disliked in Islam. It opens the door to problems and surely the Devils love problems between mankind
The advice that this Wise Lady is stating is very important. My Grandmother used to tell me that the Honeymoon is not 1 or 2 weeks but, a lifetime. I have taken her advice and I have been married for 33 years. She also said that respect, understanding and communication is essential.
When they're not reciprocating any respect understanding or communication, advice doesn't do anything. Advice will mostly just help you decide. It won't fix a bad persons character
@@MsSweetteeth Sister, you are correct. I'm a grandmother now .Some people CANNOT be fixed. May you find peace, lnshallah. Treat YOURSELF with happiness so you can raise healthy, happy children and grandchildren. Alhamdullilah!
Yeah that's when your husband isn't f*cking 3 other women and breeding on them. Respect, understanding and communication should be mutual. If you're the only one giving it, it will soon drain you.
As a Christian woman, I feel exactly the same as the mother. When I met my spouse he felt like family, he was someone I could see raising children with him as well as getting old with him. He makes me laugh, calms me down and is a great care giver, as well as having shared values and goals. Life and marriage is not an event, movie or a fairytale.
why would any Christian follow a false prophet like Muhammad? He isn't a Biblical prophet. He wasn't called by Yahweh, he wasn't Hebrew. He didn't speak or fulfill a single prophecy that's true. He lied and lied but Muslims still follow him.
when she said : khadijah I'm just reminding you ..... felt like she was talking to me , I had a strange feeling deep down my soul . Subhan Allah !!! May Allah grant us ease and mercy . Amiin
I lowered my standards to a point where I don’t even want a wedding, just the halal marriage and still no luck. 35 years old and no man in sight. May Allah grant me Jannah! This is tough!
Sis do not lower ur standards. I also made it easy to marry, and realise u make it easy for them to marry u and also to leave u as they haven't invested anything in the marriage. Invest in urself. Love urself. Get urself a wali or several Wali to look for a suitable brither for u. The men they take advantage and disrespect women that come direct to them without Wali. This day and age they mess around. Don't ever lower ur standards and think he should be grateful to get someone so high, they never r. So get someone on ur level Sis. And if he isn't here, someone that can be ur peace, then there's definitely worse things than being alone. Being with a venomous man is worse than being alone.
I was in your situation as well but I'm a man. Been looking for soulmate since 2013 and in 2020 I found her. Due to our obligations we still haven't nikah yet but we will decide in two months if we will move our relationship to nikah. I'm 45 years old and have never been married so it's not easy to find someone. Keep praying and look out for the opportunity
This dear lady gives wise advice that ANY woman or man should follow regardless of race or religion. I'm not Muslim but I know that she speaks truth!!!!May God grant her a long and healthy life.👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽💝🌸🌸🌸
if you have children and love them please leave if you can. don’t let them grow up seeing that that’s “normal” family life.. may Allah ease you burdens and bless you and ur fam, you deserve better sis
First learn deen, know your responsibilities as a wife than learn your rights. Now the real abuse, he is beating you with punches and abusing you with nasty language is actual abuse. if he is doing that, you can seek concil. people tend to gravitate towards victimhood when they are not fulfilling their duties but they are more focsed on other people coming through for them. Now if He is telling you what to do, doesn't classify as an abuse. Secondly, sarcasm and perception of abuse isn't abuse either. Thirdly, keep nagging and expecting more things from him isn't a abuse either. Fourthly, Your perception of life through liberal, secualar and pakistani cultural bias isn't any abuse either. If you are working and not at home, the chances are you won't be avaiable for him and for your children, than there will be complains like this hasn't been done or that hasn't been completed. If he makes you do work, than he has to compromise on some of his rights. but if you choose to work than you still have to fulfill his rights especially when he objects. Somebody else got a bigger house or european car, and you are unable to get that.. instead of work on marriage, stabilty and family, some women get nasty and keep reminding him that how big of a failure he has been. Whatever he has been providing isn't enough. You can't live liberal secular lives than expect people to act Islam and fulfill your islamic rights.
Read on narcissism. Gaslighting. Covert narcissistic traits. Grey Rock. Documents the abuse quietly.. and make doa all the way....and if you are able to escape that's better for the children
The greatest explanation on married that I've ever heard. We should make marriage as simple as possible, then focus on future life, not the wedding party. 😊😊😊
Nikah is not marriage. It’s contract. Pay Maher ( some money or goats, camels or even one chocolate etc) it’s one and only time you have to pay for it than you can use it as you like and kick out whenever you want.
A person can treat his mom very well and not treat his wife as that way. Finding the right person is not easy these days because many people get married for so many reasons outside what the religion teaches us. It’s even more sad when some people take their mask off after honey moon phase. May Allah grant us good spouses.
Great advice, those who want to tie the knot should watch this. It's the love, peace and understanding that keep the unity strong. Marriage is much more than a beautiful dress or fancy reception.
The purpose of marriage is to have a best friend to grow old with. It doesn't always mean children and your marriage is still very valid without children, for those that don't want or can't have them ❤
Nah marriage is incomplete unnecessary and unfulfilled without family ehen yall die now ehat? Modernist trash ur speaking vit sll that post modern bd it don't work, atleast when you have kids when u die u woild jave fufilled a legacy that keeps on going Marriage is about family,not a partnership, it's a commitment a companionship and investment a life plan a character snd values building a fulfilment if i somt want that don't get married dir celibant a relationship with no meaning dies without meaning ehivh means it's pointless like ur comment
She is speaking from an Islamic perspective. We are told to have children to grow our ummah, to have children to pray for you even after death. These are 2 extremely important things for us.
@@feefs2139 children are not the main purpose of marriage. Children are a secondary reason. The primary reason is for companionship between man and woman.
My first relationship didn't work out specifically because of this. She wanted a grand wedding simply because she want to one up her sister. Every single thing from the wedding ring, attire, venue, food etc, she pick the thing that is more expensive than her sister's, even when she hated the design, even when I specifically said I dislike them. It got exhausting, draining and the entire wedding purposes shifted from celebrating us to become some kind of statement and object for her to brag and lord over her sister. It makes me question our future together so I break off the relationship and move on with my life.
very similar with mine, she asked to make a luxurious wedding instead of saving the money for preparing the life after marriage...alhamdulillah I made a quick decision to break off before the marriage.. I got the feeling it wont work well.. I hope you'll find a good spouse mate
This is literally the best video I've ever seen about marriage than any other videos out there this woman chose to speak facts to be able to find that peace and walk this journey with that someone till the rest of your life love that narrative Subhanallah!
Your comment is correct, but holds no value to the context in the video, neither does the video provide enough context to the young lady's troubles. However what the elder lady said is accurate and true. Perhaps it was not the best idea to post this comment.
That might be true in a materialistic culture like the Western culture that values possessions over humans and families, but not in Muslim culture. And those sets of ideas and fears are the reason why Western civilization is on its decline now, low marriage rates, low birth rates, more individualism, more selfishness ... etc
That's a wise mom. Thankyou for that. My mom passed away before i got to ask these things with her. Being a wife or a mom, i always wanted to, but I'm absolutely terrified of the idea that i have no one to guide me on that.
Aman, the older lady recited to the younger one the goals of marriage but didn't address her concerns about red flags that she saw in her future husband. That lady could be getting married to someone who abuses her. Why would you get married to someone who abuses you? Why would you create a terrible life for yourself? Where can you find the peace then? It's better to cancel the wedding and return the ring and wait for someone you will have a successful marriage with rather than create problems for yourself and live with someone who will bring you down and beat you and make your life miserable. No one wants that for themselves and I hope the older lady doesn't want her to get married because the idea of marriage or being married is worth more than what happens during the marriage. You can't find peace with a terrible person, so it's important to make the right decision and the younger lady is better off waiting for the right person than getting into a place full of pain and hurt where she can't be happy and fulfilled.
@@iuliak8411 Luliya, my sister, I totally agree with you. No one wants his daughter/sister to marry an abuser. In fact I would say that people should cut-off the relationship with such a person. But this video is for those young girls who oversee things in their future spouses. Like for example expecting him to be a full-fledged ideal person. But in reality, sometimes men do come with some 'not so gentleman features' like not earning in six figures or sometimes procrastinating their work, or even not praying properly but ready when guided which is totally excusable and that man must be helped by his wife instead 🙃
@@amaanullah13, You don't have to earn six figures, that's not a red flag, but procrastinating can be as it shows you don't take your responsibilities seriously. This clip though seems to be encouraging the younger lady to get married despite her concerns so it's wrong to take someone's concerns and start to talk about something else (because it downplays the person's concerns). It's better to address the actual issue to help that lady make progress in her life rather than beat around the bush (and send her the message that everything is ok - she didn't even ask what the younger lady's concerns were. - Someone asks you for advice and you don't even investigate what the problem is? - The older lady is supposed to be concerned for the younger one and want to help her, not ignore her problems if she asks her for help.) It would have been good if the older lady gave the younger one actual advice about how to choose a husband because the advice to be a good wife doesn't help if your husband beats you even when you do good or puts you down because he is unhappy. Actually addressing the question could help other people who have the same concern too.
@@iuliak8411 When I said a procrastination, I meant it in a small amount. I mean who among us wouldn't want to be in the comfort zone. But again, a man should be hardworking and ambitious as well. That's how we are supposed to behave. And talking about the clip: yes there should be an in depth analysis of things. But it's a 60 seconds short clip🤭 they can't cover all those details. I am sure they did that in the background. Actually there are few more things that are considered as redflags by girls which isn't actually, like:- Short Height/Not so dashing looks/No Six packs/Just a regular four wheeled vehicle/even wearing specs (As a guy I have seen girls judging boys on these factors, you only tell how can we get all that before 30) (I personally know a sister who wasn't ready to marry a short heighted guy,but somehow she was convinced and MashaAllah she is living nice and healthy) And you talked about "beatings", Wallahi that's the lowest of the low level man. No one should compromise if they are facing it. Remember if he doesn't have Iman, indulges in Haram stuff like drinking/gambling, doesn't have any end-goal and is always short tempered then it's better to cut-off all the ties with him and I AM SURE that the old lady in the video will GLADLY accept it ☺️
Now I know why I am still single. I believe that a peaceful man hasn’t found me yet. Peace is my highest commodity. I would not trade it for nothing not even for millions. I don’t even want a wedding party. Just a private solo union on an island is perfect for me.
We did nikkah at a small mosque. Neither of us had close friends or family there, fancy decorations, expensive clothes. But it was beautiful. I had been married before with the whole venue, cakes, food, decor, special clothes, all the things, but it didn't feel like this. It was fairly private and peaceful and solemn (not grey dingy depressing solemn). As for islands, there are some that aren't super expensive to visit. Might not be Hawaii.
Alright... Anyone here should please pray for me in this Ramadan. I'm getting married next month but still fearful and anxious. So many negative thoughts and happenings especially now that it's near.🙏
I never wanted kids, never wanted a wedding. I was blessed with an impromptu marriage with no engagement (visa run), and he didn't want a wedding or kids either. It's been 24 years strong. It's not the wedding you need to plan; it's the marriage that needs all the planning and work. Who knew I would fall in love with my husband? Allah (swt) truly is the best of planners. He gifted two people who married for business a deep and abiding love and childfree marriage, and we both love Him all the more for that precious gift. 💕
@@Dont-worry1618 its not if both parties exist, however not having kids its stupid there people pout the who cant have kids and would love to have there own kids
@@Dont-worry1618 no is not brother Allah won't ask you about why you didn't marry let alone having children alhamdulliah Allah gave us so many choices
Ya ALLAH give magfirah and jannatul firdous to every muslim who has passed away and give shifa to every sick living thing and turn all our sins into good deeds and make this life and hereafter easier for us that are still alive and give us afiyah and jannatul firdous and make us good muslims and give iman to all non muslims Allahumma Ameen ❤❤ Guys copy this dua and share it with everyone please 🙏 Gf
I used to have this long list of things I want to search in my potential spouse. But now after coming back to Islam, the list has come down to just one thing - PEACE - that you can feel peace when you are with that person, just like the description in the Quran. This is what chemistry is in Islam. You are at peace with someone, not excitement, not lust, not pride, and definitely not anxiety anger, sadness, depression. Also, someone that gives coolness to your eyes.
This woman is wise, forget the dress and party, focus on the Marriage itself, remembering it’s meant to bring you happiness and peace. I’m not Muslim but like the message
@@rabailr7264 are u surprised? There are a lot of people who are just obsessed with toxic relationships… that might be their psychological trauma or something lol
This is the best explanation I have heard about marriage. I don't understand the importance of a wedding ring, the white dress, and spending an extravagant amount of money on a wedding. Marriage is something bigger
Wow!! I could have used this great advice when I was young. lol! I told all of my children the same thing! It’s 💯% true!! May Allah reward you in this life & the hereafter!! Ameen!!🤲🏻
What a great mom. Words of absolute wisdom, truth, and love!!! Regardless of the religion or words used to describe the journey of marriage, the trappings of the wedding day are not important. Are you going to live a life of misery with the wrong person because material goods are purchased, people are invited and others have expectations? What and who is most important? Things, others or YOU ❓⁉️❗️
The marriage culture in my country is that "the one who marry that day is not the husband and wife but both side of the families". I'm actually appaled that people made marriage harder just because you have to please both families with extravagant ceremony. Fortunately my mother agrees with me but idk about my future spouse's family 🤣
i needed this so much😢wallahi barakallahofiek. I am married and i have a daughter. But I have such and anxiety because I think What is this dunya worth. Why should I be having kids there is so much fitnah in the wordl i’m afraid to have kids. But this video wallahi it did something to my heart. Salaamo3laykom from marocco
I don't have kids but i wanted to. My advice that i heard is as a parents what you can do is refraining your children from bad influences and leave the rest to Allah swt with your prayers.
your duas are very important to yourself and your children. also never get tired of them teaching the right thing Inshaa'Allah. may Allah SW guide us and our children. Aamiin
Beautifully said. These days Women are more worried about how the proposal is going to be and the size of the ring etc etc. May Allah swt guide us all.
My parents pass away recently and I begging my boyfriend to marry me I decided to get married because of Allah and sunnah. If not because of this I will never want to be married woman. My dowry just rm100 ringgit and I never set a date because I wanted to get married immediately. I brought the ring by myself. I even returns my house 🏡 to my boyfriend. Ware now he is my husband. We didn’t even make any ceremony. I thought i was stupid, recently I realized this is the peace that i looking for.. I never aver feel so light before. I don’t know how to explain but its so light specially when u doing ur solat i m so thankful to Allah 🤲🏼
DUA TO KEEP HEART FIRM IN FAITH يَا مُقَلِّبَ الْقُلُوبِ ثَبِّتْ قَلْبِي عَلَى دِينِكَ Yaa Muqallibal Quloob Thabbit Qalbee 'alaa Deenik O, Turner of the hearts, keep my heart firm on your religion. Subahanalla Alhamdulillah Allahu akbar Laahilaha illalah
Just maybe this sister is not ready for a husband. Great message from mom. We all should be spiritually inclined to recognize the one that Allah has for us. And Allah does not speak of divorce.
Marriage is half of your life. 1st half you live alone second half you share. If both party are not willing to do their part then it will crumble. Having a lover is a mental and physical peace. Both should be doing best for each other and none will feel the pain coz love will eat that pain and you will never thing of it as chores. Making each other happy is the goal.
Of course. But she's obviously coming from an Islamic perspective. Marriage completes half of our Deen. It was designed for multiple reasons: safety in terms of having a halal sexual relationship, financial security, growing the ummah by having children in a healthy and traditional household, and many other reason.
I think before marriage, its important to see all these red and green flags. Its important to have deep conversation with your partner like what is your expectation, how many children you want, how your parenting skill, financial status, debt, your parent, your siblings, etc. Its impossible to know everything. But you need to see each other when both of you dealing with issue, how you work together, etc. From there, see how you solve the problem together. Love is not enough. Don't settle for less, but don't expect 100% perfect partner when you yourself not perfect either. This is reminder for myself too.
Im still single because everytime ive tried the girl only cares about a lavish life and a fancy wedding etc it was such a put off that i found peace in being single
Allah is testing your patience to see if you are right for one of his pious women. Keep searching and Allah will bring yih to that woman who is pure and genuine
If a girl says she wants lavish wedding, that's a girl you should never think of marrying. But keep looking. Rare things are hidden, you gotta dig deep to find it but it's there.
Don't despair Brother. Make Du'a to Allah while trying to reflect on why your Du'a could not be accepted. Get yourself physically, religiously and intellectually ready to be a good spouse. Be aware that you worship the same Allah that split the sea for Musa AS and it's the same Allah that blessed Sarah RA, Ibrahims AS wife, with Isaac AS and Jakob AS in old age. We ourselves block sometimes the goodness that might come with our sins, so seek forgiveness. Also don't rely on someone else to bless you with a wife, it happens only when Allah allows through other people. I hope I could take a little sorrow away. Additionally a powerful 'Cheatcode' you could do is making Umrah/Hajj, night prayers and praying in congregation. May Allah bless you with goodness in this life and in the next
We need more videos like this. It is a common problem and couples need valuable advice like this. I want to know what happened next. Pls make a vlog. Greetings from South Africa
This wise sister is speaking facts. Another great advice, one of the best if not the best if you need to take a decision this big: Salat al-Istikhaara ! It worked 100% for me. I canceled my first wedding less than 1 week before the wedding day. I had 0 regrets by the hour after taking tgis decision. Few years later, i improved, did the same prayer again, and found a wife i would never dream to find or deserve, subhanAllah
"And one of His signs is that He created for you spouses from among yourselves so that you may find peace in them. And He has placed between you compassion and mercy. Surely in this are signs for people who reflect." [30:21] Where is this peace in marriage derived from? - Social validation - Legacy in the form of Offspring - Sustenance (From Husband to wife) - Stability & security instead of constantly dating and looking your best - Acceptance from your spouse What about successful marriage? - Affection - Mercy, Compassion
My advice as a guy who's married for 4 years. Don't think about Divorce. Try to fix your marriage, don't focus on other woman. The grass isn't always greener on the other side. Water the grass that you have now.
Great advice. Please pray for me so I can get marry too.
Yep a lot of us nowadays, as soon as the smallest fight/disagreement happens, we consider divorce, astaghfirullah. The one thing Allah hates the most which is permissable is divorce I've heard.
I pray for a peaceful and love filled marriage for all of us, ameen.
If a guy marries a woman who he later wants to divorce, then he clearly chose the wrong woman or even worse, a bad woman. This is very common in arranged marriages where the man is coerced to marry an incompatible woman.
@@beachboy_boobybuilder As a guy, shouldn’t you have stood up for yourself before marrying someone who didn’t like to prevent ruining her life?
@@beachboy_boobybuilderthere’s a reason arranged marriage is heavily disliked in Islam. It opens the door to problems and surely the Devils love problems between mankind
The advice that this Wise Lady is stating is very important. My Grandmother used to tell me that the Honeymoon is not 1 or 2 weeks but, a lifetime. I have taken her advice and I have been married for 33 years. She also said that respect, understanding and communication is essential.
wise lady? I thought in islam women are idiots
When they're not reciprocating any respect understanding or communication, advice doesn't do anything. Advice will mostly just help you decide. It won't fix a bad persons character
AlHamdu lillah I’m happy for you Not in my case. Total negative he’s a narcissistic person that only his words count and nobody has any opinion
@@MsSweetteeth Sister, you are correct. I'm a grandmother now .Some people CANNOT be fixed. May you find peace, lnshallah. Treat YOURSELF with happiness so you can raise healthy, happy children and grandchildren. Alhamdullilah!
Yeah that's when your husband isn't f*cking 3 other women and breeding on them. Respect, understanding and communication should be mutual. If you're the only one giving it, it will soon drain you.
As a Christian woman, I feel exactly the same as the mother. When I met my spouse he felt like family, he was someone I could see raising children with him as well as getting old with him. He makes me laugh, calms me down and is a great care giver, as well as having shared values and goals. Life and marriage is not an event, movie or a fairytale.
I invite you victoria to learn about Islam and May Allah guide you 😊
شرح الله صدرك للإسلام أنت وعائلتك اللهم آمين
@@Nouss23 I can’t side with Islam because Mohammed was born 500 years after Jesus
@@Nouss23 We also invite you to to learn about Christianity. May God keep you in his care!
why would any Christian follow a false prophet like Muhammad? He isn't a Biblical prophet. He wasn't called by Yahweh, he wasn't Hebrew. He didn't speak or fulfill a single prophecy that's true. He lied and lied but Muslims still follow him.
when she said : khadijah I'm just reminding you .....
felt like she was talking to me , I had a strange feeling deep down my soul . Subhan Allah !!!
May Allah grant us ease and mercy . Amiin
it's true and my heart just went from 0 to 10. Mashaallah she is amazing hope to see her again in sha Allah. I'm just listening over and over again
this message is a reminder for all who forgot especially today's generation including myself
Ameen
Khadija she is calling you
khadijah.... oh khadijah..... 😂
I lowered my standards to a point where I don’t even want a wedding, just the halal marriage and still no luck. 35 years old and no man in sight. May Allah grant me Jannah! This is tough!
Wow am sorry sister just pray tahajud in sha Allah you will find one
@@HusseinHassan-gj3xo But if not, please pray for me. May Allah give me Sabr. Amen. 🙏
Sis do not lower ur standards. I also made it easy to marry, and realise u make it easy for them to marry u and also to leave u as they haven't invested anything in the marriage. Invest in urself. Love urself. Get urself a wali or several Wali to look for a suitable brither for u. The men they take advantage and disrespect women that come direct to them without Wali. This day and age they mess around. Don't ever lower ur standards and think he should be grateful to get someone so high, they never r. So get someone on ur level Sis. And if he isn't here, someone that can be ur peace, then there's definitely worse things than being alone. Being with a venomous man is worse than being alone.
I was in your situation as well but I'm a man. Been looking for soulmate since 2013 and in 2020 I found her. Due to our obligations we still haven't nikah yet but we will decide in two months if we will move our relationship to nikah. I'm 45 years old and have never been married so it's not easy to find someone. Keep praying and look out for the opportunity
Go to a mosque, and ask the women in there, they will surely help inshaAllah
This dear lady gives wise advice that ANY woman or man should follow regardless of race or religion. I'm not Muslim but I know that she speaks truth!!!!May God grant her a long and healthy life.👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽💝🌸🌸🌸
Read the Q’ran carefully! Dw
👍
I wish I had listened to my gut before getting into such an abusive marriage…May Allah swt make it easy for us 😢❤️
Amen , don't marry a pakistai brother they are bad husbands is ehat i heard around from a fellow Pakistani sister
if you have children and love them please leave if you can. don’t let them grow up seeing that that’s “normal” family life.. may Allah ease you burdens and bless you and ur fam, you deserve better sis
First learn deen, know your responsibilities as a wife than learn your rights.
Now the real abuse, he is beating you with punches and abusing you with nasty language is actual abuse. if he is doing that, you can seek concil. people tend to gravitate towards victimhood when they are not fulfilling their duties but they are more focsed on other people coming through for them.
Now if
He is telling you what to do, doesn't classify as an abuse. Secondly, sarcasm and perception of abuse isn't abuse either. Thirdly, keep nagging and expecting more things from him isn't a abuse either. Fourthly,
Your perception of life through liberal, secualar and pakistani cultural bias isn't any abuse either.
If you are working and not at home, the chances are you won't be avaiable for him and for your children, than there will be complains like this hasn't been done or that hasn't been completed. If he makes you do work, than he has to compromise on some of his rights. but if you choose to work than you still have to fulfill his rights especially when he objects.
Somebody else got a bigger house or european car, and you are unable to get that.. instead of work on marriage, stabilty and family, some women get nasty and keep reminding him that how big of a failure he has been. Whatever he has been providing isn't enough.
You can't live liberal secular lives than expect people to act Islam and fulfill your islamic rights.
Gut feeling tells everything
Read on narcissism. Gaslighting. Covert narcissistic traits. Grey Rock. Documents the abuse quietly.. and make doa all the way....and if you are able to escape that's better for the children
The greatest explanation on married that I've ever heard.
We should make marriage as simple as possible, then focus on future life, not the wedding party. 😊😊😊
This is the true sunnah
Absolutely true, but now people focus more on status on glamour. Its such a shame.
@KaiEmblem that's why the barakah is gone from so many marriages, unfortunately.
not for muslim majoriy indonesia 😂
Nikah is not marriage. It’s contract. Pay Maher ( some money or goats, camels or even one chocolate etc) it’s one and only time you have to pay for it than you can use it as you like and kick out whenever you want.
The best of marriages begin with the most humble weddings
Sunnah." The best Nikkah is the one with the least expenses".
Alhamdulillah
Baloney you either an a hole or your not
So true
Marriage is not only about one night, it's a whole journey on planet earth. That spoke to me.
The bit she says next is just as important. How your future spouse treats his mother, sisters etc is an indication of how he might treat you.
True
A person can treat his mom very well and not treat his wife as that way. Finding the right person is not easy these days because many people get married for so many reasons outside what the religion teaches us. It’s even more sad when some people take their mask off after honey moon phase. May Allah grant us good spouses.
@@Adelina24244 That’s why it’s only an indication. What do you recommend? How to identify a good person?
@@alphauno6614 yes it’s hard how to find a good person Wallahi. A person can treat their spouse like trash and treat strangers so kindly
@@Adelina24244 Do you have actual advice or so you just post stuff to cause people anxiety?
May Allah bless all muslims with righteous spouses.
Aameen
Aameen
Ameen
amiin
real world doesn't work thats why bro
Great advice, those who want to tie the knot should watch this. It's the love, peace and understanding that keep the unity strong. Marriage is much more than a beautiful dress or fancy reception.
The purpose of marriage is to have a best friend to grow old with. It doesn't always mean children and your marriage is still very valid without children, for those that don't want or can't have them ❤
Nah marriage is incomplete unnecessary and unfulfilled without family ehen yall die now ehat? Modernist trash ur speaking vit sll that post modern bd it don't work, atleast when you have kids when u die u woild jave fufilled a legacy that keeps on going
Marriage is about family,not a partnership, it's a commitment a companionship and investment a life plan a character snd values building a fulfilment if i somt want that don't get married dir celibant a relationship with no meaning dies without meaning ehivh means it's pointless like ur comment
She is speaking from an Islamic perspective. We are told to have children to grow our ummah, to have children to pray for you even after death. These are 2 extremely important things for us.
@@feefs2139q
@@feefs2139 children are not the main purpose of marriage. Children are a secondary reason. The primary reason is for companionship between man and woman.
You know any Young, long, beautiful and Humble Girl, (with sharp standing Nose) who is Ready to Marry a common Indian Boy/Man ❓
My first relationship didn't work out specifically because of this. She wanted a grand wedding simply because she want to one up her sister. Every single thing from the wedding ring, attire, venue, food etc, she pick the thing that is more expensive than her sister's, even when she hated the design, even when I specifically said I dislike them.
It got exhausting, draining and the entire wedding purposes shifted from celebrating us to become some kind of statement and object for her to brag and lord over her sister. It makes me question our future together so I break off the relationship and move on with my life.
Sad to hear this brother x
That's good you did that. May Allah grant to a good spouse who will give you peace
Ma shaa Allah, May Allah swt grant you ease and a righteous spouse who will hold your hands to Jannah Firdaus. Ameen.
well done. sir. those kinds of issues never get better after the wedding but worse
very similar with mine, she asked to make a luxurious wedding instead of saving the money for preparing the life after marriage...alhamdulillah I made a quick decision to break off before the marriage.. I got the feeling it wont work well..
I hope you'll find a good spouse mate
This is literally the best video I've ever seen about marriage than any other videos out there this woman chose to speak facts to be able to find that peace and walk this journey with that someone till the rest of your life love that narrative Subhanallah!
may Allah bless us all with goodness and righteousness.
Ameen
Ameen!
Ameen
It’s easier to cancel that one event than to live years of your life being miserable
Your comment is correct, but holds no value to the context in the video, neither does the video provide enough context to the young lady's troubles. However what the elder lady said is accurate and true. Perhaps it was not the best idea to post this comment.
That depends...
@@soliderarmatang5664 They are not married as yet. Better to cancel the wedding and break up before than after.
This comment should be pinned
That might be true in a materialistic culture like the Western culture that values possessions over humans and families, but not in Muslim culture. And those sets of ideas and fears are the reason why Western civilization is on its decline now, low marriage rates, low birth rates, more individualism, more selfishness ... etc
That's a wise mom. Thankyou for that. My mom passed away before i got to ask these things with her. Being a wife or a mom, i always wanted to, but I'm absolutely terrified of the idea that i have no one to guide me on that.
May Allah SWT grant your mother Jannah tip Fordius…Blessings 😇 have a bless day x
@@blackflagarmy7866 Thankyou
May Almighty Allah guide you, amin.
She is so calm & her voice MahsaaAllah..want her shorts more nd more
Masha Allah what a mum ❤😇🙌🏻
One in a million mum
Aman, the older lady recited to the younger one the goals of marriage but didn't address her concerns about red flags that she saw in her future husband. That lady could be getting married to someone who abuses her. Why would you get married to someone who abuses you? Why would you create a terrible life for yourself? Where can you find the peace then? It's better to cancel the wedding and return the ring and wait for someone you will have a successful marriage with rather than create problems for yourself and live with someone who will bring you down and beat you and make your life miserable. No one wants that for themselves and I hope the older lady doesn't want her to get married because the idea of marriage or being married is worth more than what happens during the marriage. You can't find peace with a terrible person, so it's important to make the right decision and the younger lady is better off waiting for the right person than getting into a place full of pain and hurt where she can't be happy and fulfilled.
@@iuliak8411 Luliya, my sister, I totally agree with you. No one wants his daughter/sister to marry an abuser. In fact I would say that people should cut-off the relationship with such a person. But this video is for those young girls who oversee things in their future spouses. Like for example expecting him to be a full-fledged ideal person. But in reality, sometimes men do come with some 'not so gentleman features' like not earning in six figures or sometimes procrastinating their work, or even not praying properly but ready when guided which is totally excusable and that man must be helped by his wife instead 🙃
@@amaanullah13, You don't have to earn six figures, that's not a red flag, but procrastinating can be as it shows you don't take your responsibilities seriously. This clip though seems to be encouraging the younger lady to get married despite her concerns so it's wrong to take someone's concerns and start to talk about something else (because it downplays the person's concerns). It's better to address the actual issue to help that lady make progress in her life rather than beat around the bush (and send her the message that everything is ok - she didn't even ask what the younger lady's concerns were. - Someone asks you for advice and you don't even investigate what the problem is? - The older lady is supposed to be concerned for the younger one and want to help her, not ignore her problems if she asks her for help.)
It would have been good if the older lady gave the younger one actual advice about how to choose a husband because the advice to be a good wife doesn't help if your husband beats you even when you do good or puts you down because he is unhappy. Actually addressing the question could help other people who have the same concern too.
@@iuliak8411 When I said a procrastination, I meant it in a small amount. I mean who among us wouldn't want to be in the comfort zone. But again, a man should be hardworking and ambitious as well. That's how we are supposed to behave. And talking about the clip: yes there should be an in depth analysis of things. But it's a 60 seconds short clip🤭 they can't cover all those details. I am sure they did that in the background.
Actually there are few more things that are considered as redflags by girls which isn't actually, like:- Short Height/Not so dashing looks/No Six packs/Just a regular four wheeled vehicle/even wearing specs (As a guy I have seen girls judging boys on these factors, you only tell how can we get all that before 30) (I personally know a sister who wasn't ready to marry a short heighted guy,but somehow she was convinced and MashaAllah she is living nice and healthy)
And you talked about "beatings", Wallahi that's the lowest of the low level man. No one should compromise if they are facing it.
Remember if he doesn't have Iman, indulges in Haram stuff like drinking/gambling, doesn't have any end-goal and is always short tempered then it's better to cut-off all the ties with him and I AM SURE that the old lady in the video will GLADLY accept it ☺️
You know there's something wrong when a ring is demanded at the time of the wedding. as this involves following another religions culture
exactly! may Allah ﷻ protect us 🤲🏻 ameen.
This has become tradition in the middle east and turkey for example.. doesnt have to do much with another religions culture now
Regarding the ring, you do know that our prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) instructed us to give it?
@@sillybeans929 rings for the purpose of marriage is western Christian tradition
@@hououinotaku2819can you share the hadith?
I could listen to this woman all day and never get tired.
What's her name?
Now I know why I am still single. I believe that a peaceful man hasn’t found me yet. Peace is my highest commodity. I would not trade it for nothing not even for millions. I don’t even want a wedding party. Just a private solo union on an island is perfect for me.
On an island ? Yy
On an island , Mauritius here we come😂
Just avoid un necessary Arguments by not looking to find trouble and every thing will be okey as men value peaceful homes.
Man settles where he finds peace.
We did nikkah at a small mosque. Neither of us had close friends or family there, fancy decorations, expensive clothes. But it was beautiful. I had been married before with the whole venue, cakes, food, decor, special clothes, all the things, but it didn't feel like this. It was fairly private and peaceful and solemn (not grey dingy depressing solemn). As for islands, there are some that aren't super expensive to visit. Might not be Hawaii.
Alright... Anyone here should please pray for me in this Ramadan. I'm getting married next month but still fearful and anxious. So many negative thoughts and happenings especially now that it's near.🙏
Pray istikhara. Let Allah guide you. ♥️
Words of wisdom.
ما شاء الله لا قوّة إلا بالله
I never wanted kids, never wanted a wedding. I was blessed with an impromptu marriage with no engagement (visa run), and he didn't want a wedding or kids either. It's been 24 years strong. It's not the wedding you need to plan; it's the marriage that needs all the planning and work. Who knew I would fall in love with my husband? Allah (swt) truly is the best of planners. He gifted two people who married for business a deep and abiding love and childfree marriage, and we both love Him all the more for that precious gift. 💕
I know this happened a very long time ago but congratulations! May Allah/God continue blessing you, your husband & the rest of your families. 🙏🏼🙏🏼
Agreeing to not have children is a sin.
@@Dont-worry1618 its not if both parties exist, however not having kids its stupid there people pout the who cant have kids and would love to have there own kids
@@Dont-worry1618 no is not brother Allah won't ask you about why you didn't marry let alone having children alhamdulliah Allah gave us so many choices
@@iqradahir946how can u say Allah won't ask you?
what a beautiful advice, we need physiologist with islamic value with deep knowledge of Islam among muslim
I hope we all get good husband/good wife
Amin ya Allah
Amin ya Allah
I want such a calm mother-in-law.
The purpose of marriage is peace. So beautifully said 🍀
Ya ALLAH give magfirah and jannatul firdous to every muslim who has passed away and give shifa to every sick living thing and turn all our sins into good deeds and make this life and hereafter easier for us that are still alive and give us afiyah and jannatul firdous and make us good muslims and give iman to all non muslims
Allahumma Ameen ❤❤
Guys copy this dua and share it with everyone please 🙏
Gf
Ameen
I used to have this long list of things I want to search in my potential spouse. But now after coming back to Islam, the list has come down to just one thing - PEACE - that you can feel peace when you are with that person, just like the description in the Quran. This is what chemistry is in Islam. You are at peace with someone, not excitement, not lust, not pride, and definitely not anxiety anger, sadness, depression. Also, someone that gives coolness to your eyes.
This woman is wise, forget the dress and party, focus on the Marriage itself, remembering it’s meant to bring you happiness and peace. I’m not Muslim but like the message
He's definitely peace to my life. Alhamdulillah. Inshallah please make dua for our betterment of life in this dunya and hereafter
Beautiful reminder
Great advise for those people that loves drama and toxic relationship.
what
@@rabailr7264 are u surprised? There are a lot of people who are just obsessed with toxic relationships… that might be their psychological trauma or something lol
@@tahhol7222 no I was just confused if it was sarcastic
This is the best explanation I have heard about marriage. I don't understand the importance of a wedding ring, the white dress, and spending an extravagant amount of money on a wedding. Marriage is something bigger
Wow!! I could have used this great advice when I was young. lol!
I told all of my children the same thing! It’s 💯% true!! May Allah reward you in this life & the hereafter!! Ameen!!🤲🏻
What a great mom. Words of absolute wisdom, truth, and love!!! Regardless of the religion or words used to describe the journey of marriage, the trappings of the wedding day are not important. Are you going to live a life of misery with the wrong person because material goods are purchased, people are invited and others have expectations? What and who is most important? Things, others or YOU ❓⁉️❗️
The marriage culture in my country is that "the one who marry that day is not the husband and wife but both side of the families". I'm actually appaled that people made marriage harder just because you have to please both families with extravagant ceremony. Fortunately my mother agrees with me but idk about my future spouse's family 🤣
I sure wish I could have had such wise loving mom or women to advise me in my life! What a treasure that kind wise lady is. ❤❤❤
You know any Young, long, beautiful and Humble Girl, (with sharp standing Nose) who is Ready to Marry a common Indian Boy/Man ❓
It is called a pious guided lady with noor ( light) on her face who has been given hiqma (wisdom) by Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala.
i needed this so much😢wallahi barakallahofiek. I am married and i have a daughter. But I have such and anxiety because I think What is this dunya worth. Why should I be having kids there is so much fitnah in the wordl i’m afraid to have kids. But this video wallahi it did something to my heart. Salaamo3laykom from marocco
I don't have kids but i wanted to. My advice that i heard is as a parents what you can do is refraining your children from bad influences and leave the rest to Allah swt with your prayers.
Raise them in the path of the quran and sunnah and they will be fine
your duas are very important to yourself and your children. also never get tired of them teaching the right thing Inshaa'Allah. may Allah SW guide us and our children. Aamiin
Peace is found when kindness, mercy, empathy, respect and support are tools that both spouses use. 💜 Love and beauty fades away by time.
Beautifully said.
These days Women are more worried about how the proposal is going to be and the size of the ring etc etc. May Allah swt guide us all.
❤لا إله إلاَّ الله
This auntie's advice brought me to tears ❤
This is the best advice on marriage. Perfect for everyone!
You know any Young, long, beautiful and Humble Girl, (with sharp standing Nose) who is Ready to Marry a common Indian Boy/Man ❓
My parents pass away recently and I begging my boyfriend to marry me I decided to get married because of Allah and sunnah. If not because of this I will never want to be married woman. My dowry just rm100 ringgit and I never set a date because I wanted to get married immediately. I brought the ring by myself. I even returns my house 🏡 to my boyfriend. Ware now he is my husband. We didn’t even make any ceremony. I thought i was stupid, recently I realized this is the peace that i looking for.. I never aver feel so light before. I don’t know how to explain but its so light specially when u doing ur solat i m so thankful to Allah 🤲🏼
So nice to say…..to find that peace…great words. No need for rings. I bought my husband and myself rings in 1992. He gave me everything I wanted.
Salam to this amazing mum !
Please share this with many young ladies out there!
MashAllah well explained 😊❤ with the help of quran and Hadith 🥰🤗
Indeed
People everywhere need to listen to this
DUA TO KEEP HEART FIRM IN FAITH
يَا مُقَلِّبَ الْقُلُوبِ ثَبِّتْ قَلْبِي عَلَى دِينِكَ
Yaa Muqallibal Quloob Thabbit Qalbee 'alaa Deenik
O, Turner of the hearts, keep my heart
firm on your religion.
Subahanalla
Alhamdulillah
Allahu akbar
Laahilaha illalah
MashaAllah this lady is so calm may allah increase her status ameen 💗🥹
I rly love her
MashaAllah... your mom is so true..
Peace through children and a husband? I have seen marriages where both the wife and the children have been ruined by the man.
Just maybe this sister is not ready for a husband. Great message from mom.
We all should be spiritually inclined to recognize the one that Allah has for us. And Allah does not speak of divorce.
that was so pure and nice to my ears.
What a wise woman Muslim or Christian very wise words
Marriage is half of your life. 1st half you live alone second half you share. If both party are not willing to do their part then it will crumble. Having a lover is a mental and physical peace. Both should be doing best for each other and none will feel the pain coz love will eat that pain and you will never thing of it as chores. Making each other happy is the goal.
Excellent way to put it
Marriage in Islam is a burden.
TO PUT IT SIMPLE :
STAY AWAY FROM TOXIC PEOPLE ...
Agree
You don’t have to get married to be peaceful. Peace is the fondamental requirement for a human being
True
True, Alhamdulillah that wasn’t implied. Marriage offers a different kind of peace as peace comes in many forms.
I think we should make sure the person we are marrying is not the cause of trouble or disturbance in our lives, hence they must be peaceful..
Of course. But she's obviously coming from an Islamic perspective. Marriage completes half of our Deen. It was designed for multiple reasons: safety in terms of having a halal sexual relationship, financial security, growing the ummah by having children in a healthy and traditional household, and many other reason.
Marshallah, wonderful video, with important truth of marriage.
Im save this video.
This someday may help my daughter 🤲
May Allah bless this mom and the couple..so simply put and explained.Only if were simple about our marriages
What a lovely mother.
I needed this, mashAllah for this beautiful message ❤️
You know any Young, long, beautiful and Humble Girl, (with sharp standing Nose) who is Ready to Marry a common Indian Boy/Man ❓
Answer from The Quran❤️ is real for this Duniya.
I think before marriage, its important to see all these red and green flags. Its important to have deep conversation with your partner like what is your expectation, how many children you want, how your parenting skill, financial status, debt, your parent, your siblings, etc. Its impossible to know everything. But you need to see each other when both of you dealing with issue, how you work together, etc. From there, see how you solve the problem together. Love is not enough. Don't settle for less, but don't expect 100% perfect partner when you yourself not perfect either. This is reminder for myself too.
I love hearing her speak. She sounds so wise. ❤️
So nice explanation... Mashaallah... It’s the journey of whole life ❤
Im still single because everytime ive tried the girl only cares about a lavish life and a fancy wedding etc it was such a put off that i found peace in being single
Allah is testing your patience to see if you are right for one of his pious women. Keep searching and Allah will bring yih to that woman who is pure and genuine
If a girl says she wants lavish wedding, that's a girl you should never think of marrying. But keep looking. Rare things are hidden, you gotta dig deep to find it but it's there.
I wanna marry too 😢
Don't despair Brother. Make Du'a to Allah while trying to reflect on why your Du'a could not be accepted. Get yourself physically, religiously and intellectually ready to be a good spouse.
Be aware that you worship the same Allah that split the sea for Musa AS and it's the same Allah that blessed Sarah RA, Ibrahims AS wife, with Isaac AS and Jakob AS in old age.
We ourselves block sometimes the goodness that might come with our sins, so seek forgiveness. Also don't rely on someone else to bless you with a wife, it happens only when Allah allows through other people.
I hope I could take a little sorrow away. Additionally a powerful 'Cheatcode' you could do is making Umrah/Hajj, night prayers and praying in congregation.
May Allah bless you with goodness in this life and in the next
And for a man with 4 women ... !? What journey is it? 😂 Journey with four roads?
Thank you I am getting married tomorrow and this was the best explanation ever this came right on time. Thank you.
This simply made me cry, reminds me of my mother.
I like how the Muslim mother is so religious and gives useful advice.
Its feminist have also brainwashed little of the our sisters
Masha Allah
Jazakhalahu Khairan ❤❤
Alhamdulillah,what a beautiful advice from grandma for all women,not what the system says or your friend think.
MashAllah this sister is so nice 💗 well said. May Allah swt grant her the highest ranks of jannah ameen
We need more videos like this. It is a common problem and couples need valuable advice like this. I want to know what happened next. Pls make a vlog.
Greetings from South Africa
💯 greetings from 🇰🇪
Im not even Muslim and I felt this. Wise lady. Thank you
Beautifully explained. Spot on!❤
She is so wise and elegant! I wish she was my mother. Mashallah, may God bless and protect her always!
May God bless everyone with a good person
this is so beautiful, is there where a complete episode or something?
Very wise mom, mashaAllah wa tabarakaAllah.
Masha Allah this lady is a good guide and counsellor.
This was great advice jazkhallah khair
Her wisdom words are so beautiful ❤️🥰
Alhumdullilah wise mum...may Allah bless her abundantly Ameen
But you’re not getting the point sister!!!! The peace you get from a diamond ring is priceless 😂
I knew it but it felt good to hear it from her. Reinforced what I believe Allah knows better than me I'm sure my husband is some one very special.
Touching advice, i love to add that with marriage, one reinforces their modesty and purity.
Alhamdullah sister, thank you for the reminder
best video about marriage.... thanks for sharing 😍😍.... the 1st purpose of marriage is PEACE
This wise sister is speaking facts. Another great advice, one of the best if not the best if you need to take a decision this big:
Salat al-Istikhaara !
It worked 100% for me.
I canceled my first wedding less than 1 week before the wedding day.
I had 0 regrets by the hour after taking tgis decision.
Few years later, i improved, did the same prayer again, and found a wife i would never dream to find or deserve, subhanAllah
Im married for 25 years. Theres up n down. But thts what makes it wonderful. We learned more about each other along the journey.
A wise woman. Giving excellent advice based on facts, based on what the Almighty commands us to do.
"And one of His signs is that He created for you spouses from among yourselves so that you may find peace in them. And He has placed between you compassion and mercy. Surely in this are signs for people who reflect." [30:21]
Where is this peace in marriage derived from?
- Social validation
- Legacy in the form of Offspring
- Sustenance (From Husband to wife)
- Stability & security instead of constantly dating and looking your best
- Acceptance from your spouse
What about successful marriage?
- Affection
- Mercy, Compassion