Funniest Things Kids Say To Parents (FUNNY TWEETS) | Alonzo Lerone

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  • Опубликовано: 11 дек 2024

Комментарии • 2,6 тыс.

  • @alonzo
    @alonzo  5 лет назад +1848

    what was the weirdest thing your kid asked? lol. I wanna read them. I be bored sometimes

    • @morgan8l233
      @morgan8l233 5 лет назад +47

      Alonzo Lerone can you do another weirdest kids test answers or detention slip video please

    • @themeilongcuber307
      @themeilongcuber307 5 лет назад +46

      Put coccunt oil on your bald spot

    • @brite007
      @brite007 5 лет назад +6

      Alonzo Lerone love the videos but most of the memes are old

    • @izabelladiaz8718
      @izabelladiaz8718 5 лет назад +15

      I don't have kids, Alonzo.....

    • @izabelladiaz8718
      @izabelladiaz8718 5 лет назад +12

      @@laogkety2844 ew....stop

  • @Cay_dab
    @Cay_dab 5 лет назад +938

    “That kId is going places, unlike my bald spot” 😭😭😭

  • @nolancollins0223
    @nolancollins0223 5 лет назад +4410

    When I was 9 I got grounded for telling my teacher that her hairline went further back than slavery

  • @sirenaxgarcia7861
    @sirenaxgarcia7861 5 лет назад +763

    Alonzo read "what if we put a SLICE of Turkey in the DVD player"
    Alonzo: "a WHOLE turkey!?!"

    • @ethancooper3599
      @ethancooper3599 5 лет назад +22

      Because he said it will it's WHOLE life

  • @user-yf1lf7yo2d
    @user-yf1lf7yo2d 5 лет назад +653

    Child: *says something slightly offensive*
    Alonzo: SLAP IT

    • @onlyonemitch5049
      @onlyonemitch5049 5 лет назад +19

      He's clearly not a dad. He doesn't have the patience of one😂

    • @QueenofWheels
      @QueenofWheels 5 лет назад +9

      He is so not ready for kids.

    • @MrLee64
      @MrLee64 4 года назад +7

      What do you mean guys? He'd make a great dad 😂

    • @yes-sp1xe
      @yes-sp1xe 4 года назад +1

      Lol 500th like

    • @HitTheFloor16
      @HitTheFloor16 2 года назад +1

      @@QueenofWheels "."

  • @kelseenicole8988
    @kelseenicole8988 5 лет назад +429

    My son , whom is 3 and I had a lovely conversation a while back .
    Him: can we get in the pool?
    Me: no , not right now .
    Him: why not .
    Me: because it needs to be cleaned and I don’t feel like doing it right now love . Maybe later .
    Him: I’ll snatch yo wig off . 😐
    I legit cried laughing .

  • @tomnkorea
    @tomnkorea 5 лет назад +359

    “See Kash that could’ve been funnier if you had stopped barking”
    “ProBaBLy BarKInG aT A lEaf” 😂😂😂😂

    • @bssquad1316
      @bssquad1316 5 лет назад +4

      Alexis Underwood never laughed so hard in my life 😂

    • @kiahcarberry6034
      @kiahcarberry6034 5 лет назад +2

      🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 Never laughed so hard....my stomach hurts lol

    • @rhosaliegalenzuga6198
      @rhosaliegalenzuga6198 5 лет назад +1

      I paused the video and search the comment section for this. 😂😂😂 I knew that was the funniest part 😂😂

  • @Chimichinking
    @Chimichinking 5 лет назад +831

    In the car.
    Daughter: can you turn on the fridge?
    Me: the refrigerator is always on
    Her: no, I meant this fridge
    SHE MEANT THE AC 😂

  • @mamanjie7933
    @mamanjie7933 5 лет назад +133

    “HE CALLED ME FAT. He looked me up and down like he wasn’t shorter than me and he called me fat!” 😂

    • @shaysbeauties6094
      @shaysbeauties6094 5 лет назад +2

      Sugar And spice 😭

    • @ethancooper3599
      @ethancooper3599 5 лет назад +2

      "I visioned myself just slappin' himself across that gymnasium" 😂

  • @tifana_._2744
    @tifana_._2744 5 лет назад +349

    cash: barks
    Alonzo : he is probably barking at a leaf 😂😂

    • @auroraortuno9761
      @auroraortuno9761 5 лет назад

      😂😂😂

    • @danorycastellanosreyes1097
      @danorycastellanosreyes1097 4 года назад +1

      Yoooo that had me weak 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

    • @ruthcaperchione4103
      @ruthcaperchione4103 4 года назад

      My brother's dog barks at leaves. And snowman. And toddlers on tricycles. Falling snow, school children, baby birds. Yeah, she's kinda dumb

    • @MrGetty-kh1ch
      @MrGetty-kh1ch 4 года назад

      Ruth Caperchione Bruh

    • @MrGetty-kh1ch
      @MrGetty-kh1ch 4 года назад

      Ruth Caperchione you think your dog is dumb?

  • @bssquad1316
    @bssquad1316 5 лет назад +326

    “SUN...GET HER” I cannot breath 😂😭

  • @Dextrie_myers
    @Dextrie_myers 5 лет назад +1161

    Today my father whispering: omg that lady wig is on wrong my little brother yelling : maaaaam your wig backwards 😭😭😭😭

    • @anonymous475
      @anonymous475 5 лет назад +35

      Oh gosh, what did she say/do? 😂

    • @kittyfox7
      @kittyfox7 5 лет назад +51

      I would die laughing. My nephew was saying fresh off the boat around people that weren’t native to the US. It was bad

    • @Dextrie_myers
      @Dextrie_myers 5 лет назад +45

      A greeter went to the lady to fix it...but tbh the wig looked better backwards

    • @umeinui
      @umeinui 5 лет назад +28

      This reminds me of the time when a cousin and I had to go to the bathroom, we had to take my very young nephew with us since the adults were busy getting more food in the buffet line and told us if we get up he goes with us. At first everything was cool, I didnt need to go so i just waited for my cousin. My nephew started out asleep in my arms but he was kinda heavy since i was pretty small as a teen. I ended up struggling with him too much and woke him. So I put him down to stand beside me, holding his hand even tho he silently protested at first trying to free his hand but gave in quickly. At first things were cool as he slowly woke up and wasnt saying much. But then some lady comes out a stall and immediately says "shes cute" and hes like "uh uh ma'am I'm a boy, I'm handsome" she laughed and apologized. i smiled out of slight embarrassment. But this exchange woke him up completely so now hes alert. My cousin finishes and we walk out as were walking to our table my nephew randomly blurts out "Ew that lady's dress is so UUuuugly. Why is she wearing that?" I said "Hey thats rude. Maybe she likes it" and he replies in a louder voice "No way!! Its so ugly, look at it! No! Look auntie!! Auntie, you see it?" And i swear its like the more i tried to ignore him the louder he got to the point a few people AND the lady he was talking about turned looked at us 😩

    • @shawndoristin6084
      @shawndoristin6084 5 лет назад

      nakela vanakua 😂😂😂😂

  • @aseyesrigboh
    @aseyesrigboh 5 лет назад +426

    I died when he said Kash was probably barking at a leaf 😭💀

    • @kittyfox7
      @kittyfox7 5 лет назад +1

      Aseye Srigboh me too! I was dying

    • @willowsverge3046
      @willowsverge3046 5 лет назад +2

      We had two dogs that got so scared they ran out of the kitchen if you poured elbow macaroni into the pot! Funniest thing ever! The whole family gathered in the kitchen to see them go. Rofl

    • @parmeiladhevi8602
      @parmeiladhevi8602 5 лет назад +1

      Aseye Srigboh I was eating my dinner, almost chocked and died.

    • @Fiveestarr.dr1zzyy
      @Fiveestarr.dr1zzyy 5 лет назад +2

      I read the comment as soon as he said it lmao

    • @VSleepymoongirl
      @VSleepymoongirl 5 лет назад

      My dog barks at her own reflection

  • @CooperAATE
    @CooperAATE 5 лет назад +423

    At age 5, on 1994, I walked up to my mom:
    You're Santa.
    "Why do you say that?"
    We don't have a chimney he can use...
    "That means he used the front door, baby."
    GRANDMA AIN'T LETTING NO WHITE MAN IN THE HOUSE AT NIGHT
    "... okay, I'm Santa."
    Oh, okay. *walks away immediately*

    • @myrakawilliams1666
      @myrakawilliams1666 5 лет назад +8

      😂😂😂😂😂 your grandma is hilarious

    • @aarynjohnson3228
      @aarynjohnson3228 5 лет назад +7

      ahh😂 GRANDMA AINT GETTIN UP PERIOD. Idc if the guy is white or black i wouldn’t get up either

    • @sarahboyle9283
      @sarahboyle9283 5 лет назад +3

      My mum used to tell me that one of his elves gets in through the lock, gets the key and opens the door for him.

    • @Angie......
      @Angie...... 5 лет назад +1

      well in my place it doesnt snow because is a tropical island, so we don't have chimneys. My mom said that Santa had a special powder that he put on himself to make him tiny to fit in every single place.

    • @izsakvidor
      @izsakvidor 5 лет назад +1

      AngeAle Bassist same, cuz when I lived in apartments and stuff like that she said that Santa did yhay

  • @TuRnBaCkTiMe93
    @TuRnBaCkTiMe93 5 лет назад +265

    Alonzo: “I don’t know how to spell it.”
    Me: “Get a dictionary.......oh wait!” 😂

  • @jadefording5103
    @jadefording5103 5 лет назад +192

    my 5 y/o sister: *cries because tablet is broken*
    me: you don’t need a tablet, YOU ARE FIVE
    sister: I NEED IT TO LIVE
    me: AHAHA MOM LISTEN TO WHAT SHE JUST SAID

    • @onlyonemitch5049
      @onlyonemitch5049 5 лет назад +5

      I mean like yeah. Kids don't go out as much anymore. They're whole childhood is dependent on the digital world

    • @realshitdeathtrap
      @realshitdeathtrap 5 лет назад +2

      G.B. The Green-Cheeked Conure I got a phone when I was 1 and I legit knew how to use it

    • @hannahr8206
      @hannahr8206 5 лет назад +1

      My stepsister has spent 16 hours on her tablet before and I dont know how she has the patience. Like ya I'm on my phone alot but I'm always reading or texting my friends. She literally just spends all day playing games, I dont know how. I would get so bored of just playing games

    • @roseepretter1545
      @roseepretter1545 4 года назад

      Jade Fording omg same

    • @krysm2022
      @krysm2022 4 года назад

      Only One MITCH! Yeah......

  • @fakejesus3133
    @fakejesus3133 5 лет назад +298

    The fact that I’m a 23 year old woman relating to kids has me in my feelings😐🙌🏼

    • @yogurlt
      @yogurlt 5 лет назад +4

      Elle’s Woodlock same 😂😂

    • @thatonekid5107
      @thatonekid5107 5 лет назад +2

      It's sad that you refired to a drake song because I'm 11

    • @fakejesus3133
      @fakejesus3133 5 лет назад +5

      Abigail Brown W-What?

  • @j_e_s_s_e7761
    @j_e_s_s_e7761 5 лет назад +1388

    Somebody should start a Go Fund Me for Alonzo’s bald spot. 😂😂

  • @jhaniyalincifort7881
    @jhaniyalincifort7881 5 лет назад +167

    Alonzo: "I almost swallowed my tongue"
    Me: "How is that physically possible"😂😂😂

    • @willowsverge3046
      @willowsverge3046 5 лет назад +14

      Unfortunately you can choke on your own tongue. If someones having a seizure, roll them on their side really fast to help prevent that from happening.

    • @pundertalefan4391
      @pundertalefan4391 5 лет назад +4

      I heard it almost happened to a football player.

    • @shayjohnson4981
      @shayjohnson4981 5 лет назад +8

      .me: *stupidly trying to swallow tongue* 🤦🏾‍♀️🤦🏾‍♀️

    • @wegrewthatvegancrapinhorse8188
      @wegrewthatvegancrapinhorse8188 5 лет назад +1

      turkey DVD 😂😂😂😂

    • @haileylancaster6862
      @haileylancaster6862 5 лет назад +4

      My neighbor can. He doesnt have the weird thing under his tongue that connects it to the bottom of his mouth

  • @amberwillow5782
    @amberwillow5782 5 лет назад +30

    My 3 year old cried for 20 minutes because I wouldn't let him sit in the oven with the pizza & told me I was the "meanest mom ever". 🤣

  • @FlutterMouse
    @FlutterMouse 5 лет назад +265

    I think James Breakwell has 4 daughters. He's a writer so most of his posts are jokes about his wife and kids.

    • @TracyAlfred4548
      @TracyAlfred4548 5 лет назад +3

      He also has like 2 pigs i think lol.

    • @gracecomeau2572
      @gracecomeau2572 4 года назад +3

      I think one of his posts said he has 4 daughters

  • @dreduffy9586
    @dreduffy9586 5 лет назад +184

    Me: takes off my wig
    My 2yo: put your wig back on
    Me :😳
    2 yo: put it on

  • @lacrymosarosewolf5948
    @lacrymosarosewolf5948 5 лет назад +385

    James has four daughters and he is pretty famous for it. Has two books and everything lol.

    • @PurpleDragonair
      @PurpleDragonair 5 лет назад +22

      He also has two pigs that he's pretty proud of.

    • @mikip282
      @mikip282 5 лет назад +25

      Oh boy, I feel bad for him. Wait until they start their periods. All of his tweets are gonna be about him hiding in his room from his little demons every month.

    • @zak3172
      @zak3172 5 лет назад +7

      @@mikip282 my mum can barely deal with 2 out of 5 girls having their periods...idk how he's gonna deal with 4 around the same time
      (There's an age gap between the 2 of us and the other 3 so she's not got 5 at once)

  • @rhondaengelauf-allen7177
    @rhondaengelauf-allen7177 5 лет назад +828

    Alopecia... Alopecia areata occurs when the immune system attacks hair follicles, and may be brought on by severe stress

    • @hurricanehubbs9459
      @hurricanehubbs9459 5 лет назад +8

      😗😯😬

    • @roxcyn
      @roxcyn 5 лет назад +17

      Minoxidil may help him.

    • @ocean_sapphire
      @ocean_sapphire 5 лет назад +18

      I read that there are ways to help it, but there aren't any cures. If it's causing you problems, I'd talk to your doctor to see what they suggest.

    • @alexxC37
      @alexxC37 5 лет назад +3

      roxcyn yep, i’m using it. It’s good. 😊👍

    • @kristin2798
      @kristin2798 5 лет назад +18

      Just realized I have family members with alopecia.... so does my husband....good luck kids 😳😬😞

  • @tyeshadouglas7875
    @tyeshadouglas7875 5 лет назад +87

    The other day my son asked me: Mama you got money?
    Me: yeah
    My son: oh because I feel like you broke
    Lol all I could do was laugh lol

  • @bri8396
    @bri8396 5 лет назад +66

    Alonzo: "I almost swallowed my tongue"
    Alonzo: "Can y'all just imagine the kid just on the couch saying "cOmE tO mE cOoKiEs"

    • @faithconde8200
      @faithconde8200 5 лет назад +5

      Brii's Life I died and was resurrected at that 😂

  • @elena-ug8vr
    @elena-ug8vr 5 лет назад +269

    Am I the only one that heard him say “pee-guin” instead of penguin??? 1:58

    • @lizetelliott1443
      @lizetelliott1443 5 лет назад +3

      Yes and I was hoping he would corrected the second time he said it but I don't think he did 😂🤣

    • @tosinakin2508
      @tosinakin2508 5 лет назад +2

      He actually said penguin. He pronounced the syllable as peen- instead of pen-, probably due to his accent.

    • @kelcee_krieg0268
      @kelcee_krieg0268 5 лет назад +2

      World of Pink YES! Wth is a peeguin 😭😂😭😂

    • @ryangemellaro2856
      @ryangemellaro2856 5 лет назад

      Tosin Akin Where Is He From??🤔🧐

    • @arizona_ranger__804
      @arizona_ranger__804 5 лет назад

      Ryan Gemellaro North Carolina, I think

  • @amymandeville8342
    @amymandeville8342 5 лет назад +6

    I was laughing so hard at these that my Mom came into the room and asked me what was going on. She ended up watching with me and laughing as much as I was. Thanks for making an 82 year old lady laugh!

  • @roothter
    @roothter 5 лет назад +41

    "I don't know if she likes pancakes probably"
    Same kid

  • @mlilejay8698
    @mlilejay8698 5 лет назад +95

    ok, your daughter is NOT A MUFFIN. SHE'S NOT A CAKE!

    • @gracecomeau2572
      @gracecomeau2572 4 года назад +4

      Lianne Ilejay You’re right she isn’t..... SHE IS A BUN!!!!!

  • @temirawhite5272
    @temirawhite5272 5 лет назад +69

    I can’t, when he started yellin at Cash, I lost it

    • @KK-un7jb
      @KK-un7jb 5 лет назад

      Temira White that’s his dog not yours.. he can do whatever he wants

    • @lucidb-c-l1635
      @lucidb-c-l1635 5 лет назад +2

      K K ? He was just saying that they thought it was funny when he called the dogs name?

    • @blueedreamsx
      @blueedreamsx 3 года назад

      Kash *

  • @aetheralmeowstic2392
    @aetheralmeowstic2392 5 лет назад +26

    Regarding the death of a toy in Toy Story:
    They have to make the choice to die. They basically have to be melted, burned, or, in the case of stuffed animals, ripped to shreds. They do not die any other way.

  • @lanaboo5701
    @lanaboo5701 5 лет назад +54

    It's 1:24am...watching this while my fiancee is asleep...laughing into my pillow!

  • @TRRBLPRSN
    @TRRBLPRSN 5 лет назад +50

    When I was 11 I asked my mom....
    11: Mom?
    Mom: Yes?
    11: Were you alive when Beetoven was?
    Mom: . . . .
    11: Oh wait....

  • @lylagriswold7234
    @lylagriswold7234 5 лет назад +36

    “i almost swallowed my tongue”
    👏

  • @alinaangelikova2122
    @alinaangelikova2122 5 лет назад +194

    Alopecia tips: Try to relax and be as stress-free as much as possible. Biotin will be your best friend, if it doesn't break you out. Keep your head out of a sun (wear a cap,hat,hoodie, etc.)

    • @endritaz6402
      @endritaz6402 5 лет назад +4

      Thank you very much. I have Alopecia too.❤️🤧

    • @trailerparkchief
      @trailerparkchief 5 лет назад +1

      "keep your head out of a sun"... As if we had more suns?

    • @saadiawilliams
      @saadiawilliams 5 лет назад +3

      @@endritaz6402 jamaican black castor oil helps a lot

    • @endritaz6402
      @endritaz6402 5 лет назад

      sasw111 sasw111 Thank you. I will try it❤️

    • @zak3172
      @zak3172 5 лет назад +3

      I had alopecia due to low vitamin d levels...so get a blood test, u may need medication

  • @shyannemcbride7764
    @shyannemcbride7764 5 лет назад +39

    I was in my science class and I looked straight at the turtle and said "look at the weird looking frog" 🤦🏼‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️

  • @ChaquataThomas
    @ChaquataThomas 5 лет назад +92

    How many kids you have James?
    Bless your heart 💜😂

    • @lucyorel
      @lucyorel 5 лет назад +3

      He has 4 lol

  • @laneymccaleb7598
    @laneymccaleb7598 5 лет назад +16

    So I had a picture of two girls hugging on my phone and a 7 year old saw it and screamed LESBIANS 😂😂 I started dying of laughter 😂

    • @lindaloreign9346
      @lindaloreign9346 5 лет назад

      Laney Mccaleb HAHAHAHA!!! 😅💖❤️🏳️‍🌈

  • @kaedenballesteros8171
    @kaedenballesteros8171 5 лет назад +27

    Alonzo: *Laughter sounds like tea*
    People out there: Oh my tea is ready!
    Also people: Oh no wait thats Alonzo

  • @katereniataylor6182
    @katereniataylor6182 5 лет назад +22

    Nephew :we learned about dinosaurs today
    Me: really? Which one is ur favorite?
    Nephew: a t-rex u remember them right

  • @xrockfairyx
    @xrockfairyx 5 лет назад +48

    For Alopecia
    use Nutiva Organic, Cold-Pressed, Unrefined Hemp Seed Oil. Rub it on the scalp with the hair loss.
    My nephew started losing hair at the young age of 2yrs old. After a few years he was fully bald. They started issuing this on him scalp. Massage it in. His hair is growing back.

  • @mavericklynn6964
    @mavericklynn6964 5 лет назад +19

    When Alonzo said *COME TO ME COOKIES* I LAUGHED SO HARD 😂

  • @Alexandra-me3sg
    @Alexandra-me3sg 5 лет назад +32

    I remember still today when my sister fell off her skates, she said her teeth were sharper and she could bite me. She was 9 that day XD 😂🤣

  • @jgrasso1219
    @jgrasso1219 5 лет назад +58

    I actually did the tooth fairy experiment once, lmao 😂

    • @kiranicole4329
      @kiranicole4329 5 лет назад +3

      I woke up bc my mom picked my head up to put the money under the pillow

    • @brain_alotl9556
      @brain_alotl9556 4 года назад +5

      I did it as well. Except after I told my parents that I lost a tooth they forgot for like a week and they tried to convince me it was just too windy for a fairy to fly to my house.

  • @AirbenderHawk
    @AirbenderHawk 5 лет назад +4

    LMAO!!! Y’all already know it’s literally hilarious when Alonzo starts to read funny tweets, like this for example, this guy never failed to make my day.

  • @Enrepufied
    @Enrepufied 5 лет назад +316

    No One:
    Literally No One:
    Alonzo: “I might slap that kid” or “See I’d smack that kid” or “I’d slap that 6 yo to sleep”

    • @jannetalvarez5365
      @jannetalvarez5365 5 лет назад +4

      It ain't just Alonzo, that's all Mexican people.

    • @radioactive_baby
      @radioactive_baby 5 лет назад +6

      @@jannetalvarez5365 Its not just Alonzo or Mexican people. Its black people too 😂

    • @DoctorWhoKage
      @DoctorWhoKage 5 лет назад +8

      @@radioactive_baby Hell, any culture that ain't white wanna slap their kids around like a fight between Batman and Scarface. 😂

    • @parmeiladhevi8602
      @parmeiladhevi8602 5 лет назад +3

      Indian or brown parents would smack WHILE YOU’RE IN YOUR BED. That way you can cry yourself to sleep. 😂😂😂

    • @radioactive_baby
      @radioactive_baby 5 лет назад +3

      @@parmeiladhevi8602 Then they tell you not to cry or they'll give you something to cry about 😂

  • @ItsNomii
    @ItsNomii 5 лет назад +78

    Nobody:
    Alonzo’s forehead: *shine bright like a diamondddd*
    Lmfaooo I’m sorry I love you ❤️😭😭😭

    • @opiumm1091
      @opiumm1091 5 лет назад

      Omg roflmao 😂😂😂😂❤

  • @neena-blue3724
    @neena-blue3724 5 лет назад +24

    Nobody:
    Alonzo: “tHaT cHiLd iS gOnE gEt sLaPpEd”
    Lmao love him

  • @avademeter770
    @avademeter770 5 лет назад +10

    8:18 I laughted so much. My dogs bark at nothing all the time

  • @iliuno
    @iliuno 5 лет назад +206

    That bald spot is ashier than my elbows😂 Put some oil on it

    • @iliuno
      @iliuno 5 лет назад

      Alex tea tree oil, argan oil, castor oil. Anything‼️

    • @KK-un7jb
      @KK-un7jb 5 лет назад

      One head you will go bald. So don’t talk shit

  • @WavasWay
    @WavasWay 5 лет назад +41

    Me: (doing my son's hair) Please be still
    My Son: I can't because your legs are scratchy
    Me :😑😑 (mental note..buy razors)

  • @dollsandmilk
    @dollsandmilk 5 лет назад +33

    Alopecia Areata: "Sudden hair loss that starts with one or more circular bald patches that may overlap.
    Alopecia areata occurs when the immune system attacks hair follicles, and may be brought on by severe stress."
    DESTRESS, DUDE

    • @Katerina-xf3gj
      @Katerina-xf3gj 5 лет назад +1

      I'm surprised I'm not going bald 😂🤦

  • @leshayenga5779
    @leshayenga5779 4 года назад +3

    “ don’t pressure me I’m still deciding.” 😂

  • @marcianicole613
    @marcianicole613 5 лет назад +10

    “Probably barking at a leaf” I swear😂

  • @mollyerika7350
    @mollyerika7350 5 лет назад +29

    This is the earliest I've ever been!! I love your channel Alonzo!!

  • @ShadeAnimates
    @ShadeAnimates 5 лет назад +4

    Lmao. Alonzo you get me through some of my hardest times,and you always manage to put a smile on my face, without you I'd be so lost. So I wanted to thank you for everything you do. Keep up the comedy!

  • @ymirhex4668
    @ymirhex4668 5 лет назад +9

    "Awe look, cute bird." 😭😭💀

  • @SherriLyle80s
    @SherriLyle80s 5 лет назад +16

    Hi, my husband gets those spots. It's triggered from stress. You can make the hair grow back by getting some Rogaine or off-brand and apply to balding spot. It helps regenerate hair back.

  • @jadekidd3929
    @jadekidd3929 4 года назад +7

    He looked me up and down like he wasn’t shorter than me🤣🤣

  • @FrankieP.
    @FrankieP. 5 лет назад +95

    "Why do you always wear the same tatoos?" XD XD XD

    • @ItalyHastaLaPasta
      @ItalyHastaLaPasta 5 лет назад +6

      You dont change your tattoos every day? :p

    • @zoeystarr7421
      @zoeystarr7421 5 лет назад

      Tattoos don’t come off unless it’s temporary. His is real u can’t change yo tattoo u dumb fuck 😂

    • @jacrispy3275
      @jacrispy3275 5 лет назад +5

      @@zoeystarr7421 - R/wooooosh

    • @wdwislife1268
      @wdwislife1268 5 лет назад +3

      @@zoeystarr7421 .....😐🔫

    • @artisticalex1206
      @artisticalex1206 5 лет назад +2

      @@zoeystarr7421 lol a kid wouldn't know unless if the parents explained

  • @nataushaharsh6295
    @nataushaharsh6295 5 лет назад +166

    Liked the video before watching it cause I already know that it’s gonna be great!!!!!!! 😇😇

    • @holliebelle5883
      @holliebelle5883 5 лет назад +2

      Lol me too! These videos are always the highlight of my day!!😊

    • @cameron-fu9jy
      @cameron-fu9jy 5 лет назад +2

      Same bro

    • @jimyee2629
      @jimyee2629 5 лет назад +2

      Same bro same

    • @kellur_vu9282
      @kellur_vu9282 5 лет назад +2

      get a dictionary

    • @jimyee2629
      @jimyee2629 5 лет назад +2

      @@kellur_vu9282 ok but I no have MONEY my mom has but she at work right now=(

  • @Animegirls47
    @Animegirls47 5 лет назад +6

    I don't know why I laughed so hard during this entire video🤣🤣 James you are gold

  • @Alexandra-me3sg
    @Alexandra-me3sg 5 лет назад +18

    Basiclly when she fell, it was on a hill. And she said it was my fault for convincing her to go down the hills🤣🤣🤣

  • @The_Mortician.
    @The_Mortician. 5 лет назад +5

    "I almost swallowed my tongue" KILLED ME.

  • @jaxt.seiren6417
    @jaxt.seiren6417 5 лет назад +61

    JAMAICAN BLACK CASTOR OIL!! You're welcome! 👍🏾👍🏾

  • @NuclearDarkvoid
    @NuclearDarkvoid 5 лет назад +26

    2:43
    Killed me
    Smacking a kid so hard he’d go flying across the gymnasium

  • @klnskyrsn
    @klnskyrsn 5 лет назад +2

    “What do you want to be for Halloween?” “Asleep” Me too, kid. Me, too.

  • @tiara9508
    @tiara9508 5 лет назад +4

    "Probably barking at a leaf" that was the funniest thing in this whole video😂😂

  • @han05426
    @han05426 5 лет назад +6

    “Proberly barking at a leaf” 😂😂

  • @catherineharman9567
    @catherineharman9567 4 года назад +3

    When my youngest daughter, Anna, went to meet her preschool teacher before the school year started, she made the funniest observation. Her preschool teacher was maybe 5 foot tall at best. After greeting her teacher, I asked my daughter if she wanted to sit at the table to talk to her teacher. With a serious look on her face, she pointed at the teacher and said "I will when that little girl moves."

    • @catherineharman9567
      @catherineharman9567 4 года назад

      Also, when she was in kindergarten, the teacher had all of the children coloring pictures and was walking around observing them. When she got to my daughter, she said "What a pretty picture.:" Anna looked up at her and said "Ok, I will just pee my pants and then actually peed." I laughed all the way to the school to bring her clean panties and pants.

  • @petitelarceny6719
    @petitelarceny6719 5 лет назад +26

    James/ Xploding Unicorn
    Has 4 daughters and 2 pigs according to his page . LMAO

  • @haileysmith2906
    @haileysmith2906 5 лет назад +9

    Kid: Throws toy at my head
    Me: You need to say sorry
    Kid:
    Me:
    Kid:
    Me: right you can’t talk, give me a hug then.
    Kid: leans in and screams in my ear.

  • @Planetkid32
    @Planetkid32 3 года назад +1

    4:11, I can’t hold it in omg 😂🤣

  • @jasminecole1222
    @jasminecole1222 5 лет назад +49

    James has 4 girls but they get older every year lol
    Would you ever have kids?

  • @ElegantButlerSeb
    @ElegantButlerSeb 5 лет назад +81

    Why is the definition of Dictionary in the bloody Dictionary?

    • @davesdatasystems
      @davesdatasystems 5 лет назад +12

      Well because....
      I don't have a answer to this.

    • @thekippster4749
      @thekippster4749 5 лет назад +13

      It didn't want to be left out.

    • @cairrean2412
      @cairrean2412 5 лет назад +1

      It wouldn't be a complete dictionary if it didn't have the definition of itself.

    • @ElegantButlerSeb
      @ElegantButlerSeb 5 лет назад +1

      @@cairrean2412 The definition SHOULD read "see the book you're holding".

  • @indiajade904
    @indiajade904 5 лет назад +5

    I’m an adult but I went in the store the other day and got really excited over this pretty pumpkin cookie jar and I yelled “PRETTY PENGUIN” I felt so damn dumb

  • @bellslife8084
    @bellslife8084 4 года назад +2

    “Aww look cute bird” 😂😭😭

  • @alwaysjax1116
    @alwaysjax1116 5 лет назад +19

    I know how to handle the bald spot
    Sharpie

  • @juicykay3609
    @juicykay3609 5 лет назад +8

    Alsooo 😂
    1 year old son: *holds his feet up*
    Me: *kisses his toes*
    1 year old: “ewwww”

    • @anonymous475
      @anonymous475 5 лет назад +1

      My siblings would do this when a dog licked their foot 😂

  • @expressyourdepression693
    @expressyourdepression693 5 лет назад +3

    My sister works at a kindergarten and was talking her class to the bathroom when she overheard two boys giggling in the bathroom, so when she went to see what they were doing she heard them saying “okay your turn” to each other and relished they were having a peeing contest 🤣

  • @jasmineperez702
    @jasmineperez702 5 лет назад +44

    I'm hispanic and my friends daughter (they're white) asked me if I knew how to read English lol

  • @beanochi4335
    @beanochi4335 4 года назад +2

    When i was 12, I was at Kohls for back to school shopping with my family and grandma. I was in a flash T-shirt, shorts the are below the knees, and my flash cap that i had on backwards when we were going to the check out. My grandma asked me to get some bags to put her paid clothes in, so I did what she said. While I was getting some backs from the check out desk, this employee said, “Sir. You can’t be back there. Sir?” I turned around confused and pointed to my self saying, “Are you talking to me?” My mom and grandma started to laugh while I was just standing there embarrassed and confused. I still talk about it to this day. 😂

  • @arikgershon
    @arikgershon Год назад +1

    3:33 That's funny how Alonzo says "questioned"

  • @_mochiko_6306
    @_mochiko_6306 5 лет назад +331

    Kids these days can't live without technology these days, My cousin came over and then she said......
    "What the Wi-Fi password
    Me: We don't have internet but we have movies she said
    7 yo: Ugh it's so old here I WANT TO GO HOME
    Me: Sorry does not work like that
    👇🏽☺

    • @darkmya19
      @darkmya19 5 лет назад +2

      Kim_Tae_ Oppa 😂

    • @_mochiko_6306
      @_mochiko_6306 5 лет назад +2

      @@darkmya19 I know lol

    • @christineseely7657
      @christineseely7657 5 лет назад +2

      I get, my cuz does the same.

    • @_mochiko_6306
      @_mochiko_6306 5 лет назад +2

      That's so sad how our people are the same smh

    • @forgetful_insomniac
      @forgetful_insomniac 5 лет назад +5

      @@_mochiko_6306 I am so sorry but I am crying from laughing at her response

  • @rko32491
    @rko32491 5 лет назад +27

    For your alopecia, try biotin (supplement) or jamaican black caster oil (hair product)

  • @mariacastaneda640
    @mariacastaneda640 5 лет назад +48

    How y’all commenting like 30 minutes before I got the notification 😂😂😂

  • @bluetrumpetplayer18
    @bluetrumpetplayer18 5 лет назад +1

    I was helping my mom at the preschool she worked at. I was 9 or 10 and the kids were about 5. I was teaching them animal sounds. I asked a kid "what does a ducky say?" he says, WITHOUT MISSING A BEAT, "Aflac!"

  • @wuhva1642
    @wuhva1642 5 лет назад +4

    I got grounded for telling my teacher that she needed some milk

  • @redgaming1066
    @redgaming1066 5 лет назад +14

    😂😂😂 it's funny that Alonzo believes in ghost and witches

    • @alexanderperez7604
      @alexanderperez7604 5 лет назад +1

      Hahaha

    • @chibigeektv290
      @chibigeektv290 5 лет назад +5

      Red gaming I can’t say much for Ghosts but witches are real, meaning people who practice witchcraft, Wicca, and Paganism. So yes, witches are technically real.

    • @CJ-xf1in
      @CJ-xf1in 5 лет назад +2

      But.... they ARE real.... *blink blink blink blink*

    • @BurntToast95
      @BurntToast95 5 лет назад

      @@chibigeektv290 YES. Matter of fact, I'm pagan/wiccan. Granted its not like what they show in movies and such. 😂

    • @chibigeektv290
      @chibigeektv290 5 лет назад

      Burnt Toast same here. I switched to Pagan and my mother and I practice witchcraft sometimes. Not always together but we still do.

  • @carpetshorts3207
    @carpetshorts3207 5 лет назад +14

    Yesterday when I was in the store a little girl was shouting at a poster stop looking at me I guess she had enough because she then kicking it and I was dying of laughter 🤣🤣🤦‍♀️GOD PLZ SEND HELP

  • @rickygarcia4321
    @rickygarcia4321 5 лет назад +5

    My son is 8 and he says that he is in love...I told him "don't take advice from me, that's why me and your mom ain't together" he said "I know, I'm not asking for advice, I'm just telling you I might move out"

  • @nuagenyselourens2385
    @nuagenyselourens2385 5 лет назад +8

    One time when i was 9
    I got grounded for screaming at a teacher "pff what dummy is gone bring there child back to slavery here"

  • @kristimatthews713
    @kristimatthews713 5 лет назад +3

    Watching tv with my six year old son when a black and white commercial comes on.
    Son: mom when you were my age did you see in black and white?
    Me: how old do you think i am?
    Without missing a beat...
    Son: 92
    Me:...thanks kiddo.
    I was 32.

  • @lovely_tragedies
    @lovely_tragedies 5 лет назад +3

    “Probably barking at a leaf.” That was funnier than the tweet😭😂

  • @ordianry26
    @ordianry26 5 лет назад +5

    My sister was cooking dinner for her sons, her youngest said " mom it smells like hot dogs and garbage"
    She was making pasta..

  • @michalamaha8381
    @michalamaha8381 5 лет назад +4

    Alonzo was about to cry when saying the kid called him fat lmao

  • @robbieallan6522
    @robbieallan6522 2 года назад +2

    I haven't laughed this much in a long time 🤣
    You just got another subscriber.

  • @avernion
    @avernion 3 года назад +1

    I worked in a kindergarten. One day I overheard three boys talking about a plane flying over us far up in the sky.
    Boy 1: Maybe it’s going to the moon.
    Boy 2. No, it can’t be. It’s not night now.

  • @imogenbrown7763
    @imogenbrown7763 5 лет назад +5

    I was walking my dog with my mum when I was younger.
    There was a kid. Like 4-5.
    He shouted out: LOOK DONKEY!
    and pointed towards us.
    I said: hey there, it's not a donkey it's a dog. (I have a miniature long haired sausage dog, he cute but his breath stank)
    Then he looked me in the eyes and just said: no. I meant you.
    *Let me tell you something. LET ME TELL YOU. I'VE NEVER SEEN A MOTHER GO SO RED, WITH A MORTIFIED LOOK LIKE THAT. I WAS LIKE DAAAMMNNN, SHE APPOLOGIZED HURRIED HER SON AWAY AND SPANKED HIM. IVE NEVER LAUGHED MORE IN MY LIFE😂😂😂I hope to god I meet this kid in the future, but sis y'all already know I nearly slapped the shit out of him...I didn't tho....😢😂😂😂😂😂*