Sweetest Dreams

(SOUND ON) I still occasionally have nightmares that I’m still in the hospital.
And it does mess with my mind. The nightmares of my coma were vivid and strong and realistic. They involved real pain, they involved strong emotions, and they even involved real moments with real people and real dialogue. This life I have now is so beautiful, so blessed, so cherished, so meaningful, it often feels to good to be true. So, naturally, when I have a nightmare that I’m still in the hopsital, it begs the question, “Which is real, and which is a dream?”
It doesn’t help that I’ve always been a big fan of intense movies and shows that wrestle with this concept, like Inception, Loki, and The Matrix. In those stories, the lead character winds up having to choose which reality they are going to believe. Usually, it’s the harsher reality that they have to learn to accept. Neo has to take the red pill. Cobb has to wake up from the dream where his wife is still alive. Loki has to realize the TVA really does have the power to control timelines in order to stop them from killing millions of innocent people.
Most of the time, that is a good morale of the story. We have to learn to accept reality over the lies that make us feel better. We need to see past the ways that Satan rigs this world to lie to us, manipulate us, and control us. We must trust that God is truly in control of our world and has our best plan in store for us.
There were times in the hospital when I would have dreams that I was on the beach, only to wake up in a hospital bed. In my book I write about how I would close my eyes and picture myself on the beach with my family and our new little girl, who I had not met yet, as a “happy place” to help me rest through the pain I was in. I would have to face the harsh realities of my circunstances every time I woke up.
Now that I’m on the other side, I’m now in a completely different situation. I could choose to believe that the hospital is still my reality. I could choose to believe that every time I feel pain it’s because the hospital is still in control of my life. I could choose to ignore the blessings of my life by calling them “fake.” I could choose to cripple myself with fear and blame the wheelchair. Or I can choose to believe that this all really is a dream come true.
Of course I want to believe it’s true. And each day I wake up, I choose this as my reality. But my pessimissm is something I still have to work at overcoming.
By the way, in case you missed it, or if you hear this song and are unfamiliar with my story, you can read our full story now in our new book! It’s called “Breath of Faith: How A New Young Father Survived Covid Pnuemonia Through Divine Intervention.” I’m living proof that miracles, while they might sound too good to be true, are, indeed, real. Here’s the link for it on Amazon: a.co/d/2vXfWSp

[@ALICEAHA12]

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