She calls her out of her name, calls her a b-word, admits to hitting her, doesn’t give her permission to talk, disrespects her constantly but wants blind respect? That’s wild…
This baby is probably counting down to the moment she’s 18 or goes to college. I hope she gets away from this abusive situation and live the life she deserves. God bless her
This woman has not forgiven her daughter and is taking out her resentment on the granddaughter. It's sad. Prayers for this young woman. She needs positive encouragement.
I agree. She taking her frustrations out on her Granddaughter for what her daughter done to her. Their relationship won't work until she pray anf adk God for forgiveness. The grandmother is wrong. This is so heartbreaking
I’m a old school grandma. My grandchildren don’t live with me, but they are with me all the time. I believe if you want respect, you have to show respect. You can’t go around calling your grandchild names!! The words we use or speak over people, can make or break them, so use them wisely!!!!
This young lady needs to put her energy into her studies so that she can earn scholarships, go away to college, earn scholarships every year, graduate with honors, and ESCAPE this toxicity once and for all.
That grandma is a piece of work. She lacks empathy and compassion. I understand that she lost her daughter, but that child lost her mother. I pray for that young girl that God watches over and protects her, guiding her step every way.
Let me straight, the granddaughter is reacting and responding to the verbal and physical abuse from her grandmother. And receiving love and support from her boyfriends mother. And that's what hurts this grandmother? She's the reason she's seeking love outside the house. This woman fully understands the effects of her mouth. This is how young girls end up finding love in all tge wtong places.
Right! like make it make sense grandma. What do you expect her to do when you verbally and physically abuse her. I hope her boyfriend momma keeps encouraging her and being there for her.
I have 3 granddaughters and I would never call them out of their names.. hell I've never called my daughter out of her name. Respect is earned and it definitely goes both ways. This grandma is toxic AF
it’s upsetting to see her grandmother invalidate her feelings simply because she’s older.. but it’s also heart breaking because she grew up in a generation where that’s exactly how her parents raised her, “my way or the highway.” I think the grandmother also needs some serious emotional healing.
I can’t get over how she admits to beating up her granddaughter, threatening to shoot her in the foot & everyone’s like, it’s all good cause she’s “Old School”. Violence is never okay, especially when it comes to a child. Everyone just glossed right over that.
It's not just glossing over, it's the realization of what these elders went through especially in a not so nice ti.e for black folk. There wasn't as much social mobility as today or exposure to higher order processing. Folk from simplier time act in simplier ways. But I understand your thought process.
@Tee but was the child disrespectful? Or just wanting to be heard? Some parents deem this as disrespectful, which is crazy. How else will you know what's going on in your child's life if you don't ask or listen to learn. Obviously, granny doesn't have effective communication skills. But she sure knows how to justify her violent acts and wicked tongue. That's the sad part.
@@V4Vonnie That is a perspective I didn’t think abt. Thank you for your comment & sharing it with me. My heart hurt for that beautiful girl, but I can understand & empathize with grandma when I look at it that way. Kids being hurt is my “trigger”, as the kids would say. I had a pretty horrific childhood, so my 1st instinct is to get angry for the person receiving the abuse. Being a yt straight female, I know I can’t pretend to fully know what it feels like for a POC to go thru what they unjustly go thru, especially during grandmas era. So, thank you for bringing that perspective to the conversation. I know it’s not anyone’s job to educate me on these topics, but I will always be grateful when someone does. ✌️
This guy is good. I really loved his soothing calm and respectful voice. Very supportive to both of them without taking sides. I hope they work through their lack of communication. She looks like a great young future amazing woman and I hope she knows this too!
Wrong on so many levels after the mother died the grandmother was thrown into a role of sole caretaker and provider for 4 babies really had the kids mother listen and been responsible respectful she would not have gotten killed This doesn’t need to have tragedy # 2 from a hot butt granddaughter too. I would have knocked her out and been ready to go to jail knowing that she was going to be 6 feet under the same situation happened in our family and I watched my parents die daily dealing with my sister 3 kids who were babies at the time . Those kids killed my parents daily and caused them to age rapidly. I would have beat them once and they would gotten it together. You need Jesus. Teen teenagers don’t need no boyfriend because all they to do is have sex and the girl is damaged goods forever God ordained marriage not fleshly sexual activity is for married couples only sexual activity outside of marriage is done by whores and loose silly females
@@tedra6455 This is all that the Bible requires because God is keeping a record of every single word that you, me and everyone else speaks & he will hold each of us accountable. Continue to be kind 🙏🙏🙏
Karamo did not check that grandma on her behavior enough for my taste. Her behavior was definitely making the situation worse. If she doesn’t stop she is going to ruin her relationship with her granddaughter and that is going to affect the family generations down the line.
I totally agree Karamo glossed over her attitude because of an connection from his past which was wrong in his era. Frankly I was shocked he didn't check her harshly. He repreminded Zeniah more sternly. He's usually on the side of right and the law.
Being raised by a grant I knew it was pointless talking. Talking disrespectful, not talking disrespectful. Breathing disrespectful, not breathing disrespectful. All I could hope for was she was in a good mood. And I learned the highly favor boys. Boys can do no wrong so it's not surprised to me so many men feel they do no wrong
Yes and you’re always a whore even if you’re just stepping out to get the mail; then put you in a position to be abused (my experience) just the mental torture and confusion. Completely breaks the spirit. I turned 30 this year and I’m finally figuring out how to live my life beyond abusive parents
Right! I was losing my mind. She don’t need to be respectful to an adult that beats her & insults her daily. I get they aren’t her kids & she raised them, but damn that isn’t that little girls fault. Grandma is the entire problem here.
I completely agree but in this case it just seems like the girl grew up with a very resentful grandmother who refused to explain why she thinks things are problems... You cant really respect someone if you dont have any understanding of why they are behaving the way they are
This is exactly why I cut contact with my father basically he went and got a peace order out on me because I expressed my feelings. The old school narcissist generation will go to extreme lengths like calling the cops and using courts to scare you into being quiet and taking their abuse young lady RUN RUN AND RUN AS FAST AS YOU CAN. The grandma will never change she’s been abused and that’s all she knows is to abuse you sweetheart. I’m going through this now and I’m 38 these antique narcissistic people make every everything about them and only them.
7:48 Grandma can’t give this baby ANY credit at all, even as she’s displaying stellar levels of excellence. It’s all about her. All about her. That’s crazy. But very familiar.
Like the crowd isn’t even done clapping and giving her her props and she’s already shutting it down and denigrating the accomplishments. This isn’t how we encourage good things in our children. It’s how we kill their drive. Baby girl is doing prerequisites for aerospace engineering and she’s worried about some damn dishes? A mess.
@@starrb1794 everything brought up that presents the granddaughter in a positive light grandmother is so quick to shut it down to make her look worse than a typical teenager
@@starrb1794 I don't think she necessarily dislike her i believe she feels like she failed her own daughter and is trying to protect her in her "old school" way. Also, this baby looks VERY MUCH like her mom and the granddaughter reminds her of that every day. Granny is tryna do a re-do and is going about it all wrong!
Grandma is angry at the situation that she finds herself in by having all this responsibility on her, and is lashing out, because of her unresolved issues with her deceased daughter. The child is lashing out with rebellion to her grandma's emotional abuse. Sad, this is a good kid! All the unresolved pain can cause this kid not to do well. 🙏🏽🙏🏽 and hope for this family.
Nah that young lady needs to just move on and walk away from that old lady! She over talks that young lady and don’t listen so she is the reason her own daughter is dead. My grandmother would never treat me that way. I would be done with that old lady
Zaniah, you’re a gift to your blood line. Hang in there baby girl and break those negative generational patterns. Grandma needs some more support so she can provide an emotionally safe space for these children. You can’t talk to a child disrespectfully and expect that they are not picking up your habits. She may just be exhibiting the fruit of what has been sown. Grandma needs to connect with her own pain before she is able to connect with these babies. Much prayers up for this family and beautiful Zaniah 🙏🏾
This Grandma is trying to raise her Grandchildren the way they shouuld grow respect to Grandman every pne want good for their childrens these young people love man more than Education all they want to do is to disrepect their elders
OMG! I feel for this beautiful young lady. She seems so respectful, but extremely hurt. Hold your head up baby. Don't change and stay the course. Get your education and be the best that you can be.
I pray Zaniah gets through school and goes to college at 18. That grandma toxic as hell and think she knows everything. She is making the granddaughter pay for her daughters sins.
triggering my whole being rn. as soon as she said “that’s why I slapped the mess outta her in the car” I got so angry! Like why can’t you have a simple conversation with a child w/o getting to that point!
The grandmother does NOT NEED TO HAVE CUSTODY! She is going to destroy that child's soul while screaming its love. That's not love, its resentment and obligation.
My heart goes out to this young lady! Just because you’re “old school” doesn’t mean be mean & disrespectful! Both have suffered enough and grandma should’ve embraced her to grieve together of their loss.
The Bible says train up a chid in the way he should grow and when he is old never depart it well Grandma you tryin to do the best for your Grandchlidren love Grand ma continue to to do the best for them God bless you
@@lartinewilliams2719 I’m aware of that scripture. As the Bible also says Ephesians 4:29, Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. I’m still standing on what I said just because you’re an elder doesn’t mean you be disrespectful and mean. It’s not fair that she threw her hurt on her granddaughter when she was hurting too. Uplift and encourage rather than disrespect. Be Blessed
@@lartinewilliams2719 so beating and verbally abuse is what’s good for the child? If the child is visibly hurting from the shit her grandmother put her through how is that good for the child?
I am 55 and am also Old School, so my children say. I however always say please and thank you when my children do anything I ask. I show my children who are all grown now respect and get it in return. This is so sad to me, if Grandma would ask kindly of things she needs children to do and say please and thank you the children will do the same in return. This Grandma doesn't know how to correctly communicate and gets the reaction that someone gets that lacks respect from others.
She don't like her granddaughter and it seems like whatever resentment she has for her own daughter she's taking it out on that girl. Also older ppl have to realize responding to you is not being disrespectful.
I want everyone to know I am grandmother and cannot imagine slapping, using foul language nor calling the cops on my grandchildren, My oldest grandchild is 24, This is unheard in my heart.
It seems like she's trying to stop the grand daughter from going down the same path. The fear the grandmother has due to her daughter is traumatizing to the both of them. She sees her daughter in her grand daughter and it is terrorizing to the grand mother. The grandmother is wrong for hiw she's handling it, however, I see it and they both need therapy. Intensive therapy.
SHE'S A GRANDMOTHER THAT'S TAKING IT OUT ON HER GRAND DAUGHTER I LOVE MY GRAND DAUGHTER AND IF I FEEL I CAN'T HANDLE HER THAT'S WHAT MY SON IS FOR PERIDOT BUT I MUST SAY MY GRAND DAUGHTER LOVES ME SOOOOOOO MUCH I WOULDN'T EVEN THINK OF CALLING MY GRAND DAUGHTER OUT HER NAME NO MATTER WHAT'S GOING ON
Idk why older people feel like they can treat people however they want to, that’s probably why her daughter went the wrong way…coloring books? SHE’s 17! Granny has a HORRIBLE ATTITUDE!
Right ! And she talking about some “move on my time” why do parents/guardians think our lives are completely controlled by them and we only grow up when THEY are ready. That’s the problem I’m having with my parents. Im 18 abt to be 19 and my parents won’t ever let me out the house. Won’t teach me to drive and pretending they have my best interest at heart. Im in college I handle my business and they raised me well. I don’t get why I have to wait for them to be ready for me to grow up when it’s already been fucking done. Literally this is how suicides happen.
@@dynastybaker811 I let my parents/family dictate my life and still to this day have problems making my own decisions that im now trying to unlearn. I didnt get my license 2 years after getting my permit because my parents wouldn't teach me to drive. Sometimes you have to find ways to take matters into your own hands. If that means you have to go the back end or secretly ask a friend to help I say go for it. Its a way to keep you bound and controlled by them. Do what's right for you and Good Luck!
Yes. A coloring book. The granddaughter says she treats her like she’s 10. She’s not lying. She has been abused physically and emotionally by her and she doesn’t deserve that. She deserves better.
She has created so much trauma within this beautiful young lady. Her grandmother is very toxic due to learned behaviors. I somehow was the one chosen to break my family's generational curses. It must be done❤️
Grandmother you have a lot of healing to do. I am 71 years old and not afraid to say "You need an attitude adjustment". You are broken. Losing your "no good" daughter has taken a toll on you and you are taking it out on these kids. Granddaughter you are welcome to come live with me. I made mistakes with my children too. Grandmother let's break the generational curse that is holding you back from being a loving person. Karamo you have a great show. Congratulations and much success in the future.
Absolutely ‼️ she's still angry with her daughter and her grandbaby is catching the brunt of that resentment. Beyond heartbreaking. Grandma is displaying the devastating mentality of the elder generation within the Black community 😔
No the grandma is tired of raising kids that her loose daughter went to the streets to have sex with a less than a person who used her for his release even a dog protects her puppies and she will kill you about them too. The sad part is that it’s takes two to bring forth a child they both are worthless as humans
When Grandma says she's old school, that's exactly what she is. Standing up for yourself usually means disrespect to the elder. This is all they know. However no one has mentioned that Zaniah looks exactly like her Mother and it's like Grandma got a do-over and is trying to save her from the same fate as her Mother.
@@sheca8699 I’m telling you “old school” is a term that we as a community use to hide abuse and it’s disgusting I hope she cuts of this grandmother as she seems like a toxic negative energy
the most emotion i seen from the grandma was her being jealous that Zaniah formed a bond with her mom in law. after they leave this show i'm pretty sure grandma gonna be up to her same ways. as stubborn as she seems, also old habits die hard so i hope that baby get away from that toxic disrespectful grandma.
I don’t hope for her to get away but I hope for her to have more support from people on the outside and be strong enough to just get through another year and go off to college
Omg I wish I could mentor and support this young lady. I’m praying for her to find unconditional love and support as she and her brothers have suffered so much not having parents. 💕
Her telling her granddaughter she would have given her up and kept her brothers really made things fall into place for me. What a horrible thing to not only say but to say it TO her. The pressure and stuff she's putting on her is 1) maybe because she don't want her granddaughter to end up like her daughter and 2) some internalized misogyny. The grandmother is the adult smh. Hearing you aren't wanted by a parent/guardian is so soul crushing and no amount of apologizing can undo the damage.
Thank you saying this. My mama told me January 20th 2023 that she never wanted me, nobody does, she regretted having me & so on forth…I decided to forgive & move on but I can’t lie, those words are LOUD in my ear head & I can’t believe it was said but God has me covered.
Typical black male worshiper!!! Do all and everything and make all kinds of excuses for the boys. But all the girls get is excessive discipline and emotional abuse disguised as “protection”. I’ll bet her brothers have a totally different experience from the grandmother than this poor girl received. 😢😢
The grand daughter is a good child. She does well in school, she comes home at a good reasonable time, she washes the dishes. I wish this grandma would just give this girl peace of mind. All these bad language and torment is just going to make this child end up like her mama cause she’s going to start looking for that love and peace outside & she would find worse like unwanted pregnancy, peer pressure etc
She's a good child because the grandmother have poured into her. Kids need to do what they're told. The grandmother isn't telling her to do anything wrong or harmful. This generation want to be 40 before they're 40.
OMG you handled This family situation so beautiful. You were CALM non judgemental and you brought them back together. In The beginning I thought it was going to turn into a Storm but you calmly eased in and made them both feel that they are deserving. I THANK GOD for you and The Skills and compassion he has blessed you with. Not very MANY people have the ability to CALM The raging Sea. I truly appreciate you and thank God for your phenomenal work bringing families together. We need families to stay together Love each other. This world is getting More and More Cruel. Thank you and may God continue blessing you with The extraordinary gift of love.
I give you serious props for a successfully mediation between a old school grandma and a Gen Z!!! Both of those black ladies felt heard, seen and validated. My prayers are with that family. Keep doing what you're doing..."healing!"
You did really well Karamo ❤ People talking about the granddaughter without understanding the grandmother's perspective. Thanks for bringing them together. This is my best reconciliation from you to them. Thanks again❤
Grandma was raised from a generation that were not supported emotionally and she can’t give what she didn’t have…her generation is hard nosed and we’re raised to take a lick and keep going! She will not be able to see it, they will have to grow in grace and allow grace for one another! Z has her own trauma and this babygirl deserves so much support and not rejection! Lord bless them both🙌🏾
This is y when my children's wz little I prayed and ask God 🙏 to let me live to raised my own children's because there are no other person beside (GOD) that will love ur children's and treat them right but they mother no matter what I had 8 children's and noone could just come into my family because me and my sister raised our children's more like sisters/brothers then just cousins and this y now they kind just call on each other threw thick and thin they coming I think 🙏🏽 for the love they have for each other and wen problem come up they have each other back I really feel for this child because her grandmother is a BULLY PERIOD 😶😡
This grandma is very disrespectful I pray and hope this granddaughter will be a better person than the grandma portray her to be!! Our God is watching over her (the granddaughter
I’m actually really disappointed that he didn’t address her physically abusing her 🤔 It was plain as day and she admitted to it. Why wasn’t it talked about?
Because people don't care about child abu$e. I was bothered by that too. Karamo has no problem telling people to leave their spouse who physically hits them. But people don't care for violence against children as much as they do in other groups.
I believe this young lady. The older generation is like this for sure, especially in the black family. You can talk back, ask questions, express your feelings, blink, say "butt," ...nothing... that type of parenting is dead. We have to talk to our children. We have to let them express themselves.
Aww, this Young Lady is so broken and I feel for her. She doesn't strike me as being loud mouthed and disrespectful. The Grandmother admitted to calling her a B...., slapping her, putting her out, threatened to shoot her in the foot and otherwise being verbally, emotionally and physically abusive to her. My heart aches for this Young Lady. They need more counseling and FAST!! I hope things get better for them!
Where are the teachers, neighbors, and most importantly The Police. If they responded to A call of abuse from the granddaughter to the grandmother they dropped the ball. Grandma admitted she's abusive to this young lady. Aren't they trained to detect who the real threat is.?
I’m a person that’s big on accountability! This grandmother is horrible and so many people are allowing her to proceed!! Respect has to go both ways! Forgiveness doesn’t mean keeping people in your life. This young lady is one year away from never HAVING to speak to this grandma again!
I don't think that the grandmother is horrible at all. But I can definitely see that she is tired of all the negative feedback that she is getting from her grand-daughter. It takes one who has been there to recognize the signs.
I couldn't live like this, and I don't want my daughters to feel this way either. The grandmother is angry that she had to take on the responsibility of raising her grandchildren.
I don’t think it’s that exactly…..I think the grandmother is extremely afraid of seeing her granddaughter doing the same as her mother, so her flawed form of discipline is kicked into overdrive and it’s hurting both of them emotionally. They’re both tired. That being said, she’s being extremely close minded to the fact that her granddaughter is NOT her mother and negative reinforcement will get them nowhere.
Did grandma have to take responsibility for the children.? She made it Clear the children were hers before the mother passed. Is it possible she was controlling and took over. Nor did she appear remorseful/ hurt by whatever fate took her daughter. I lost my 26 year old son 17 years ago (no he wasn't an intended target ) and I'm still grieving. People display grief diffently, hopefully I'm wrong about her,?
she’s never been disrespectful. zaniah has always been so sweet, she’s on the cheer team, she’s an A and B average student. everyone loves her including me! she always spoke so highly of her when we went to school together. so sad to see this happening.
Grandma represents a generation of people who lack respect and accountability. Defending yourself is disrespectful to these people. The real reason why so many people need therapy now
Karamo I really felt like you held back on the grandmother. She needed to know that respect HAS to go both ways, otherwise she risks the relationship between her and Zaniyah. You could easily tell that Zaniyah doesn't have the option to express her feelings in the house. Zaniyah literally said "Me expressing my feelings is talking back to you." THAT type of "old school" parenting needs to stop. I understand that shes a grandmother, and shes taking on a responsibility that she didn't have to take on, and I commend her for that. But we HAVE to start caring about what the kids have to say. We HAVE to start listening, and being OPEN to hearing them.
Maybe the indepth talk with the grandmother occurred off screen. Why add fuel to a fire, he didn't want to set the grandmother off 🤣🤣🤣, she is his elder too
@@MusicOfVendetta I didn't say the grandmother's "old school" parenting didn't need to be addressed, what I said is that out of respect for all involved, professional off screen intervention may have occurred.
And can we keep it a buck? He gaslit the hell out of Zaniya. How are you going to let someone sit on your stage & say “yeah, I’m physically abusing this child because she talks when I don’t want her to talk,” and then tell that child to apologize??? Would he let a man who’s abusing his partner get away with saying something like that??? I doubt it. I need him to stop trying to be “down” with the black community & just be real. That woman needed to hear some truth about herself on that stage & Zaniya needed her to hear it too. Idk, this episode was really disappointing. After seeing the way it ended, I feel even more hurt for that young girl. Karamo needs to apologize to her too.
I thought it was just me. In my eyes she did nothing wrong and seemed more mature than her grandmother. Respect is earned not given because you "raised" me
This grandma is very toxic and she doesn’t like that her granddaughter stand up to her. I stood up to my grandma and she told me I was the most disrespectful grandchild of her. Her daughter gave me up for adoption at birth so they thought they could say whatever they wanted to say, I spoke back. This old school needs to stop, this a new generation and they not taking no mess from anybody. I pray they can find love again and the grandma is hurt because the lost of her daughter. Praying for this family.
I hope she gets into the military and gets to get away and see the world. She deserves to see that she is valued, loved, and accomplished despite odds against her. She has clearly been verbally and physically abused and I'm glad that teachers/mentors have shown support of her.
This woman proudly said she would shoot that girl in the foot… she said she slapped her granddaughter because she was talking… this lady is evil and abusive. It’s not about protection, it’s about power. I hope this girl is able to get away from her and live a peaceful life after already experiencing so much loss.
Will you house her and put food on her belly cos you seem to be comfortable behind that screen talking about the grandma is evil...she could've let the state take her when her mum died but she took her in and cared for her...is she hostile yes but her intentions are not bad.
OMG! this is so horrible & heartbreaking to hear! i’m literally fighting back tears watching this. zaniah and i went to elementary, middle, and high school together. she’s always been a fun, down to earth girl. while maintaining an A & B+ average, she’s also been on the cheer team since freshman year. she’s done the unthinkable and impossible at such a young age. i’m so proud of her. her mother passed away when we were younger, so her grandmother stepped in to take care of her & her older brother who graduated high school last year. she always spoke so highly of her grandmother & always smiled while talking about her. she loves that lady so much. who would’ve known what was happening💔💔💔
@@doreenwilliams9622 i’m going to do everything i can to find her on social media & contact her! i moved across town junior year, so unfortunately we lost contact. it won’t be hard to find her since she’s very active on social media, along with our peers though.
This is so sad. The grandmother is ABUSIVE...I pray the granddaughter heal and move the hell away from her... oh my good. Generational meaness in that woman
I WAS RAISED LIKE THIS AND IM 62 and HAVE A HARD TIME TRUSTING PEOPLE, IM MARRIED AND DIVORCED..NO KIDS.... AND I HAVE NO SELF BECAUSE I DON'T KNOW WHAT THAT IS! LET YOUR KIDS GROW UP AND LEARN ABOUT THEIRSELVES AND LEARN YO BE STRONG AND SELF SUFFICIENT! I FEEL SO BAD FOR THAT GIRL!
I feel so bad for her. I can’t tell she’s a sweetheart and she’s even a good student. I really hope she gets out of this environment and I just want peace for her ❤ She is a sweet sweet young lady and she needs love
I believe everything this baby is going through.. literally the story of my life..I'm grown now but I've been through everything she's saying ..he grandma is a reflection of my mom
I pray for them both. The Grandmother is still grieving her daughter, and is over protective of her granddaughter, because she knows that this is a mad world to come up in. I believe in them both, and is looking forward to learn about them coming back together...❤🙏🏾♥️
Highly upset you told that girl apologize for disrespecting her gma when she literally said on stage her disrespecting her is simply her stating how she feels…
Pandering to the grandmother and gaslighting the girl is dysfunctional AF!! Nobody gains anything: grandmother leaves feeling vindicated and with an even more heightened sense of entitlement. The girl leaves feeling humiliated, disempowered and stripped of any sense of agency, the host feeling like he’s done a great job facilitating the “reconciliation “. Epic mess!!
Amen grandma, Amen. 🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽 it’s done when you turn 18 and get out in your own. Be still, be quiet, graduate, get a job, and then get out. Don’t expect your grandmother to relate to what you see in other homes and in the streets. It’s that simple. Don’t destroy your life before you get started. And this to shall past… Take advantage of living in a secure home.Your grandmother does love you. Keep living…👀
@@ramonahamm6292 it’s not attitude just because you will allow somebody to put their hands on you and talk to you any type of way and beat on you doesn’t mean that everyone else law will. The grandmother is abusive she takes her frustration out in that girl and if she couldn’t handle raising them kids she shouldn’t have taken them in smh.
As a grandmother I have some old school ways in me. No one is perfect and I will never threaten to shoot my grandson and then turn around and say that you shouldn't carry a gun. Not about to tell my grandson should not be violent, but then turn around and threaten him with violence. Everyone is different, a lot of people identify very well with their abusers. I remember hearing people say I brought you in this world and I can take you out, but I always knew that saying is equivalent to murder. I respect people's way of raising their children, but my children as well as my grand child knows and will always know that quote about shooting somebody in the foot came from the slavemaster. If the slave thought about escaping or getting out of line. As an older woman I learned that old-school mean different things to people. I learned as a child sometimes old school mean that an adult is not going to care if you were violated in any type of way. Sometimes the overprotective one is the one that the child or children need to be protected from. I apologized to my grown children for a lot of things that I felt I could have done better as a parent. And even though they feel I was a great parent, I still feel that I could have given them more of a voice. Just because you're older doesn't mean you're always right. My children made some decisions that I might not have liked, but I don't resent them for it. My condolences to the mother who lost her child and the young lady who lost her mother.
I also had custody of four grandchildren the youngest one was three months old, it was hard, But GOD" !!!! I can realate to the grandmother, I when through trails and tribulations, If I didn't have GOD" in my life I never wouldn't made it.
It’s easy for us to point fingers at the grandmother, but none of us have walked in her shoes. She should be enjoying her senior years, she’s already raised her family, now she’s trying to raise her grandkids, life always seems easier when you aren’t directly involved. Perhaps family counseling would help both of them. Wouldn’t it be wonderful if life was that easy. We live in a fragile world where there is so much turmoil around us, peer pressures, it’s a wonder this grandmother and granddaughter can meet eachother half way. No one has the answers , but to start pointing fingers at either one of them is not fair. I certainly have not walked in either shoes, nor do I want to judge either . I have to clean my own backyard before I can clean any one else’s. I wish them both the best, to the grandmother I say this too shall pass.
I want to hug this this young lady I have a granddaughter myself I love her to death she's now she's 24 she's my princess God bless them to love each other again ❤️❤️❤️
The way her grandmother is with her is so sad 😢 the grand daughter has such a bright future . She probably could have never grieved her mothers death because she have to deal with her grandmother so much.
Old people these days kill me, they demand respect while being disrespectful smh. "Old school" is an excuse to be rude, abusive, self centered, and ignorant
i agree and i disagree kids who dont get taught to respect and be grateful for things they have end up spoiled and disrespectful i dont knock old school ways not until your abusing the child like thats your fucking slave then no dss needs to get involved but if your telling the child that respect and comes a long way theres nothing wrong with that this generation itself is so fucked up to the point kids talk back and order there parents to give them what they want when bad behavior is intact and its truly not right thats my opinion im pregnant with my first baby now hes a boy he will be taught that bad behavior isnt rewarded only good behavior like how i was taught but beating a child is never the answer!!! my little cousin who is 7 disrespects her mother and father and my father and my grandparents when she doesnt get what she wants for christmas or excetra yhu dont want your child being so spoiled that they dont think when they being bad there doing nothing wrong thats how these kids end up in jail and serial killers.
@@mkxv excatly yhu can talk to a child with common fucking sense i been mentally and physically abusived as a child thats why my fucking son is not gonna know nothing about that yhu have to teach a child how to be sweet and nice and give them the same in return thats common sense im 20 years old and still think about how i was treated wen yhu become pregnant yhu set boundaries for yourself.
This is like watching my mother and myself at this young lady's age. I left home as soon as I graduated high school and never looked back. I graduated college with a Masters Degree. I am a military vet. business owner and mother of three beautiful daughters. I was determined and made it my goal not to be the mother to my daughters my mother was to me. Today I am 51 and I do not have a relationship with my mother. I say to this young lady hang in there be strong but most of all be patient and break the cycle.
I can’t wait for her to go to college and escape from all the toxicity from this lady. Imagine a smart girl with good grade like her , one would think her grandmother would be her rock and be so pampering and loving to her grand baby but instead she is wishing he didn’t have to keep her and all the toxic stuff. I can’t deal 😡
I pray that this young lady hold on, love yourself and learn how to ignore your grandmother when she's talking to you, don't say anything back to her, do the dishes whenever she asked. Pretty soon you'll be grown you'll get a job and you will move out on your own. Most important do not get pregnant mama, do not move in with any young man, I live in the state of Michigan I would take you in from what I see you are a good girl. Your grandmother don't understand the word respect she should never put her hands on you, and whatever you do please do not put your hands on her. Walk away if she ever hits you again I'm praying that God gives you the strength to go on and not be bitter I promise you when you come through this you're going to be a much stronger young lady you are a strong young lady. Please do not be influenced by your boyfriend the last thing you want to do is get pregnant I pray that God watches over you and guide you and protect you from all harm. I pray that your grandmother stop putting her hands on you.❤❤
I have an uncle who did. In fact, get shot by my grandfather, but in the arm, over standing up for himself. The trauma and shame that the old skool inflicted on their children runs deep, and folks like Zania will end the generational curses that hang over our community. Don’t let anyone break your spirit Zania! Stand in your truth!
Im so glad that we are attempting to come out of this BS in the newer generation. Its okay to be a parent or an authority without being disrespectful or demeaning.
She calls her out of her name, calls her a b-word, admits to hitting her, doesn’t give her permission to talk, disrespects her constantly but wants blind respect? That’s wild…
Yeah that’s toxic
That lady is resentful and abusive
Its always the point "Im older, you HAVE to respect me"...soooo, I dont deserve respect? Had that argument with my family more often than I'd like to
Exactly. Why are black moms like this?? Ik exactly what she’s going through
Me who can totally relate to her situation. I hope I get to be heard some day too 😢😢
This baby is probably counting down to the moment she’s 18 or goes to college. I hope she gets away from this abusive situation and live the life she deserves. God bless her
Me too grandma 🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽 is rude and mean 🤔
I know she can’t wait to leave ! This is why so many from they generation end up dying in nursing homes .
I bet you are right. My first thought was ,I will help you. I have always worked with children .This just broke my heart.
@@maryCCFarm God bless 🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽😘
@@evonza4858 ty I would take her in , and help her in a heart beat. Poor child.Its not easy being without your momma,I know,first handed.
This grandmother is a piece of work!!! I think she hated her own daughter so much that now she’s taking out on her granddaughter 😢
This!
Basically she the problem that’s a child she hurting
Sad
This woman has not forgiven her daughter and is taking out her resentment on the granddaughter. It's sad. Prayers for this young woman. She needs positive encouragement.
I agree. She taking her frustrations out on her Granddaughter for what her daughter done to her. Their relationship won't work until she pray anf adk God for forgiveness. The grandmother is wrong. This is so heartbreaking
Grandma thank you for the care at this point of the situation take the matter to Jesus Isaiah 8 verse 18 should be your declaration daily
Grandma thank you for the care at this point of the situation take the matter to Jesus Isaiah 8 verse 18 should be your declaration daily
I’m glad somebody see that but every body got understand we all was kids and we see how the grandmama was raised
No, that girl is disrespectful and needs her azz...whooped
I’m a old school grandma. My grandchildren don’t live with me, but they are with me all the time. I believe if you want respect, you have to show respect. You can’t go around calling your grandchild names!! The words we use or speak over people, can make or break them, so use them wisely!!!!
Bless your heart for understanding that. Ik your grandkids love you
Your grandkids are lucky to have you.
This young lady needs to put her energy into her studies so that she can earn scholarships, go away to college, earn scholarships every year, graduate with honors, and ESCAPE this toxicity once and for all.
Very true
The grandma's hurtful words will live rent free in that girl's head for life.
I bet she coddles the fawk outta them boys
@@TiffTheGifted1 fr
Exactly 💯
I think Grandma needs some counseling at a whole bunch of it I feel bad for the little girl
Gm is the issue
That grandma is a piece of work. She lacks empathy and compassion. I understand that she lost her daughter, but that child lost her mother. I pray for that young girl that God watches over and protects her, guiding her step every way.
Grandma seems like a mean old woman.
I feel bad for the girl
Let me straight, the granddaughter is reacting and responding to the verbal and physical abuse from her grandmother. And receiving love and support from her boyfriends mother. And that's what hurts this grandmother? She's the reason she's seeking love outside the house. This woman fully understands the effects of her mouth. This is how young girls end up finding love in all tge wtong places.
Facts! That's it! And she is trying to do what she couldn't with daughter. I was ready to be mad at the girl. She's definitely not a bad kid.
💥 boom ! Someone said it 👏🏾 👏🏾 👏🏾
glad sb said it before i typed it
Preach.
Right! like make it make sense grandma. What do you expect her to do when you verbally and physically abuse her. I hope her boyfriend momma keeps encouraging her and being there for her.
I feel so bad for this sweet girl. She is not the problem. The grandmother clearly is the problem.
I agree
I have 3 granddaughters and I would never call them out of their names.. hell I've never called my daughter out of her name. Respect is earned and it definitely goes both ways. This grandma is toxic AF
it’s upsetting to see her grandmother invalidate her feelings simply because she’s older.. but it’s also heart breaking because she grew up in a generation where that’s exactly how her parents raised her, “my way or the highway.” I think the grandmother also needs some serious emotional healing.
No
@@dsffuyrgdasggs3817 your comment is pointless just like your life
That’s generational trauma for ya😔
dont forget how they still treat you a kid even in your 20s.
I can’t get over how she admits to beating up her granddaughter, threatening to shoot her in the foot & everyone’s like, it’s all good cause she’s “Old School”. Violence is never okay, especially when it comes to a child. Everyone just glossed right over that.
It's not just glossing over, it's the realization of what these elders went through especially in a not so nice ti.e for black folk. There wasn't as much social mobility as today or exposure to higher order processing. Folk from simplier time act in simplier ways. But I understand your thought process.
Sometimes these kids need fear put in there heart some of these kids are to disrespectful 😒
@@tee5747 fear ain’t gone help to make them not disrespectful and if the disrespect is too much then just separate yourself from the child
@Tee but was the child disrespectful? Or just wanting to be heard? Some parents deem this as disrespectful, which is crazy. How else will you know what's going on in your child's life if you don't ask or listen to learn. Obviously, granny doesn't have effective communication skills. But she sure knows how to justify her violent acts and wicked tongue. That's the sad part.
@@V4Vonnie That is a perspective I didn’t think abt. Thank you for your comment & sharing it with me. My heart hurt for that beautiful girl, but I can understand & empathize with grandma when I look at it that way. Kids being hurt is my “trigger”, as the kids would say. I had a pretty horrific childhood, so my 1st instinct is to get angry for the person receiving the abuse. Being a yt straight female, I know I can’t pretend to fully know what it feels like for a POC to go thru what they unjustly go thru, especially during grandmas era. So, thank you for bringing that perspective to the conversation. I know it’s not anyone’s job to educate me on these topics, but I will always be grateful when someone does. ✌️
This guy is good. I really loved his soothing calm and respectful voice. Very supportive to both of them without taking sides. I hope they work through their lack of communication. She looks like a great young future amazing woman and I hope she knows this too!
this is an example of you can still be an elder but ignorant also.. disgusting. so important for us to grow through what we go through
Mental is real. Pray 🙏 for the grandma and her strength to do and say what's right.
Wrong on so many levels after the mother died the grandmother was thrown into a role of sole caretaker and provider for 4 babies really had the kids mother listen and been responsible respectful she would not have gotten killed This doesn’t need to have tragedy # 2 from a hot butt granddaughter too. I would have knocked her out and been ready to go to jail knowing that she was going to be 6 feet under the same situation happened in our family and I watched my parents die daily dealing with my sister 3 kids who were babies at the time . Those kids killed my parents daily and caused them to age rapidly. I would have beat them once and they would gotten it together. You need Jesus. Teen teenagers don’t need no boyfriend because all they to do is have sex and the girl is damaged goods forever God ordained marriage not fleshly sexual activity is for married couples only sexual activity outside of marriage is done by whores and loose silly females
@@chrisjohnson322 ....This comment is just side eye like wtf-
In the book of Proverbs >. “Don’t argue with a fool lest you become as he/she.🙏🙏🙏🙏😇
@@tedra6455 This is all that the Bible requires because God is keeping a record of every single word that you, me and everyone else speaks & he will hold each of us accountable. Continue to be kind 🙏🙏🙏
Karamo did not check that grandma on her behavior enough for my taste. Her behavior was definitely making the situation worse. If she doesn’t stop she is going to ruin her relationship with her granddaughter and that is going to affect the family generations down the line.
I totally agree
He was scared. Definite trauma response. This had me flashing back
Grandma was probably treated this way...grandma REALLY needs some serious therapy.
I totally agree Karamo glossed over her attitude because of an connection from his past which was wrong in his era. Frankly I was shocked he didn't check her harshly. He repreminded Zeniah more sternly. He's usually on the side of right and the law.
@@nopjack7278 agreed 💯
Being raised by a grant I knew it was pointless talking. Talking disrespectful, not talking disrespectful. Breathing disrespectful, not breathing disrespectful. All I could hope for was she was in a good mood. And I learned the highly favor boys. Boys can do no wrong so it's not surprised to me so many men feel they do no wrong
Yes and you’re always a whore even if you’re just stepping out to get the mail; then put you in a position to be abused (my experience) just the mental torture and confusion. Completely breaks the spirit. I turned 30 this year and I’m finally figuring out how to live my life beyond abusive parents
being your room is disrecptful, looking out the window is disrepectful....on and on. like no wonder why granny on high blood pressure meds
I'm sick of this toxic old school ish mannnn that lady is dead WRONG!! I can't stand that "I'm the adult, I'm always right" mentality
I AGREE
COULDNT AGREE MORE😃
I agree
Right! I was losing my mind. She don’t need to be respectful to an adult that beats her & insults her daily. I get they aren’t her kids & she raised them, but damn that isn’t that little girls fault. Grandma is the entire problem here.
💯💯
A child needs respect too
Exactly
I completely agree but in this case it just seems like the girl grew up with a very resentful grandmother who refused to explain why she thinks things are problems... You cant really respect someone if you dont have any understanding of why they are behaving the way they are
This is exactly why I cut contact with my father basically he went and got a peace order out on me because I expressed my feelings. The old school narcissist generation will go to extreme lengths like calling the cops and using courts to scare you into being quiet and taking their abuse young lady RUN RUN AND RUN AS FAST AS YOU CAN. The grandma will never change she’s been abused and that’s all she knows is to abuse you sweetheart. I’m going through this now and I’m 38 these antique narcissistic people make every everything about them and only them.
Well said
Bingo. I hope she realizes before its too late.
been estranged 20 years because of the same.
7:48 Grandma can’t give this baby ANY credit at all, even as she’s displaying stellar levels of excellence. It’s all about her. All about her. That’s crazy. But very familiar.
Like the crowd isn’t even done clapping and giving her her props and she’s already shutting it down and denigrating the accomplishments. This isn’t how we encourage good things in our children. It’s how we kill their drive. Baby girl is doing prerequisites for aerospace engineering and she’s worried about some damn dishes? A mess.
Grandma has convinced herself this young lady is an bad seed,therefore she can't see the positive things she's accomplished,
Damn the grandmother couldn’t even allow her to get compliments on her school grades!
Fr that’s how you know she don’t like her smh poor baby.
@@starrb1794 everything brought up that presents the granddaughter in a positive light grandmother is so quick to shut it down to make her look worse than a typical teenager
My grandma did the same to me
@@nakkesha I honestly thought it was just me she's like " yea yea yea but when she gets home it's on ! " like what
@@starrb1794 I don't think she necessarily dislike her i believe she feels like she failed her own daughter and is trying to protect her in her "old school" way. Also, this baby looks VERY MUCH like her mom and the granddaughter reminds her of that every day. Granny is tryna do a re-do and is going about it all wrong!
Grandma is angry at the situation that she finds herself in by having all this responsibility on her, and is lashing out, because of her unresolved issues with her deceased daughter. The child is lashing out with rebellion to her grandma's emotional abuse. Sad, this is a good kid! All the unresolved pain can cause this kid not to do well. 🙏🏽🙏🏽 and hope for this family.
I feel for Zaniah. She wants to be heard and seen as mature young lady. Grandma need time to grieve her lost.
Fr like you can’t be in denial of what you do too me
They both need counseling perhaps to grieve.
Nah that young lady needs to just move on and walk away from that old lady! She over talks that young lady and don’t listen so she is the reason her own daughter is dead. My grandmother would never treat me that way. I would be done with that old lady
I agree. She wants to be heard and seen. 😔
@DriaBruton exactly
There's nothing more toxic than parents who have that "I'm the adult. So, fuck your feelings" attitude.
exactly!
Yes
Yes! Respect goes both ways .
man!
Exactly!!!
idc being old school doesn’t justify treating someone like that i honestly feel so sorry for girl this beautiful smart amazing girl is trying her best
Zaniah, you’re a gift to your blood line. Hang in there baby girl and break those negative generational patterns. Grandma needs some more support so she can provide an emotionally safe space for these children. You can’t talk to a child disrespectfully and expect that they are not picking up your habits. She may just be exhibiting the fruit of what has been sown. Grandma needs to connect with her own pain before she is able to connect with these babies. Much prayers up for this family and beautiful Zaniah 🙏🏾
Grandma's are raising more and more of their grandchildren. As grandparents we have to listen to our children. As well as Respect our grandkids.
I agree 100% that Grandma need to work on her own issues, because she has a lot of issues of her own!!!
Perfectly said
This Grandma is trying to raise her Grandchildren the way they shouuld grow respect to Grandman every pne want good for their childrens these young people love man more than Education all they want to do is to disrepect their elders
I really hope she sees this. ❤
This Grandmother is The Problem and anyone Justifying this is SICK
Thank you! You exactly right!!! This story was very triggering for me. Grandma needs therapy and anger management.
@@linealjr07 I agree , is being black kids growing up , now as adults we see some of this behavior was out of line
OMG! I feel for this beautiful young lady. She seems so respectful, but extremely hurt. Hold your head up baby. Don't change and stay the course. Get your education and be the best that you can be.
I pray Zaniah gets through school and goes to college at 18. That grandma toxic as hell and think she knows everything. She is making the granddaughter pay for her daughters sins.
the grandma is triggering me. she needs to get away from her IMMEDIATELY
Me too. Triggering me BIG TIME
triggering my whole being rn. as soon as she said “that’s why I slapped the mess outta her in the car” I got so angry! Like why can’t you have a simple conversation with a child w/o getting to that point!
triggering me real bad.
No frrrr, and when she went in for the hug I got such a disgusting feeling over me
@@tojis1277 It reminded me of that "We doing this to look good in front of all these people but you know im angry" fake face parents do
The grandmother does NOT NEED TO HAVE CUSTODY! She is going to destroy that child's soul while screaming its love. That's not love, its resentment and obligation.
My heart goes out to this young lady! Just because you’re “old school” doesn’t mean be mean & disrespectful! Both have suffered enough and grandma should’ve embraced her to grieve together of their loss.
The Bible says train up a chid in the way he should grow and when he is old never depart it well Grandma you tryin to do the best for your Grandchlidren love Grand ma continue to to do the best for them God bless you
@@lartinewilliams2719 I’m aware of that scripture. As the Bible also says Ephesians 4:29, Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. I’m still standing on what I said just because you’re an elder doesn’t mean you be disrespectful and mean. It’s not fair that she threw her hurt on her granddaughter when she was hurting too. Uplift and encourage rather than disrespect.
Be Blessed
That's right
@@lartinewilliams2719 so beating and verbally abuse is what’s good for the child? If the child is visibly hurting from the shit her grandmother put her through how is that good for the child?
I am 55 and am also Old School, so my children say. I however always say please and thank you when my children do anything I ask. I show my children who are all grown now respect and get it in return. This is so sad to me, if Grandma would ask kindly of things she needs children to do and say please and thank you the children will do the same in return. This Grandma doesn't know how to correctly communicate and gets the reaction that someone gets that lacks respect from others.
She don't like her granddaughter and it seems like whatever resentment she has for her own daughter she's taking it out on that girl. Also older ppl have to realize responding to you is not being disrespectful.
right! what’s crazy is that if you respond, it’s a problem. and if you don’t respond, that’s could be a problem too
I want everyone to know I am grandmother and cannot imagine slapping, using foul language nor calling the cops on my grandchildren, My oldest grandchild is 24, This is unheard in my heart.
It seems like she's trying to stop the grand daughter from going down the same path. The fear the grandmother has due to her daughter is traumatizing to the both of them. She sees her daughter in her grand daughter and it is terrorizing to the grand mother. The grandmother is wrong for hiw she's handling it, however, I see it and they both need therapy. Intensive therapy.
Yes. You hit the nail on the head.
SHE'S A GRANDMOTHER THAT'S TAKING IT OUT ON HER GRAND DAUGHTER I LOVE MY GRAND DAUGHTER AND IF I FEEL I CAN'T HANDLE HER THAT'S WHAT MY SON IS FOR PERIDOT BUT I MUST SAY MY GRAND DAUGHTER LOVES ME SOOOOOOO MUCH I WOULDN'T EVEN THINK OF CALLING MY GRAND DAUGHTER OUT HER NAME NO MATTER WHAT'S GOING ON
Unfortunately, this is seen sooo much in our Black families. My mother broke this cycle in our family. So glad she did ❤
Idk why older people feel like they can treat people however they want to, that’s probably why her daughter went the wrong way…coloring books? SHE’s 17! Granny has a HORRIBLE ATTITUDE!
we need more hard ass granny like that
Right ! And she talking about some “move on my time” why do parents/guardians think our lives are completely controlled by them and we only grow up when THEY are ready. That’s the problem I’m having with my parents. Im 18 abt to be 19 and my parents won’t ever let me out the house. Won’t teach me to drive and pretending they have my best interest at heart. Im in college I handle my business and they raised me well. I don’t get why I have to wait for them to be ready for me to grow up when it’s already been fucking done. Literally this is how suicides happen.
@@dynastybaker811 I let my parents/family dictate my life and still to this day have problems making my own decisions that im now trying to unlearn. I didnt get my license 2 years after getting my permit because my parents wouldn't teach me to drive. Sometimes you have to find ways to take matters into your own hands. If that means you have to go the back end or secretly ask a friend to help I say go for it. Its a way to keep you bound and controlled by them. Do what's right for you and Good Luck!
Yes. A coloring book. The granddaughter says she treats her like she’s 10. She’s not lying. She has been abused physically and emotionally by her and she doesn’t deserve that. She deserves better.
She has created so much trauma within this beautiful young lady. Her grandmother is very toxic due to learned behaviors. I somehow was the one chosen to break my family's generational curses. It must be done❤️
I feel for both of them 🥺. Them generational curses are so real . Hopefully baby girl breaks the cycle with her own kids. Proud of you mama💗..
Exactly
The grandmother
Is so mean and harsh .
Poor Zaniah
@@Riyuzi2 Thank you beautiful!💜
Beautifully stated…do a new thing!
Grandmother you have a lot of healing to do. I am 71 years old and not afraid to say "You need an attitude adjustment". You are broken. Losing your "no good" daughter has taken a toll on you and you are taking it out on these kids. Granddaughter you are welcome to come live with me. I made mistakes with my children too. Grandmother let's break the generational curse that is holding you back from being a loving person. Karamo you have a great show. Congratulations and much success in the future.
I feel like Grandma is resentful of Zaniah because of the relationship she had with her daughter and projecting those feelings on to her grandbaby 😔😢
this is true!!!!
Absolutely ‼️ she's still angry with her daughter and her grandbaby is catching the brunt of that resentment. Beyond heartbreaking. Grandma is displaying the devastating mentality of the elder generation within the Black community 😔
@@NAHN07 The very prime example of issues within the black community especially black women and its so sad
Exactly!
No the grandma is tired of raising kids that her loose daughter went to the streets to have sex with a less than a person who used her for his release even a dog protects her puppies and she will kill you about them too. The sad part is that it’s takes two to bring forth a child they both are worthless as humans
When Grandma says she's old school, that's exactly what she is. Standing up for yourself usually means disrespect to the elder. This is all they know. However no one has mentioned that Zaniah looks exactly like her Mother and it's like Grandma got a do-over and is trying to save her from the same fate as her Mother.
That’s what is going on. She believes she failed her daughter and anytime Zaniya behaves like her mom, grandma relives the trauma of the loss 😢
reminds me of my grandma fr
she on my fuckin nerves THE GRANDMOMMY..................STUCK IN HER FUCKIN WAYS CANT CHANGE.
Grandma you can't apologize then say more toxic stuff.
I was think the same thing she does look exactly like her mother
Im so glad my grandmother's was nothing like this my heart goes out to that young lady
I hope she goes off to college and gets away from this lady.
Don't say that. They both love each other grandma is old school and she don't know how to separate what her mom did from her.
I mean far away.
@@sheca8699 doesnt give her an excuse to push what she went through onto her grandchildren
@@sheca8699 I’m telling you “old school” is a term that we as a community use to hide abuse and it’s disgusting I hope she cuts of this grandmother as she seems like a toxic negative energy
@@sheca8699 no she needs to cut the toxicity off. That lady old and will never change.
the most emotion i seen from the grandma was her being jealous that Zaniah formed a bond with her mom in law. after they leave this show i'm pretty sure grandma gonna be up to her same ways. as stubborn as she seems, also old habits die hard so i hope that baby get away from that toxic disrespectful grandma.
How can a 17 year old have a mother in law. Isn't she under age.
@@christineshand1802 you missing the point!
@@Toriab thank you!!!!
@@christineshand1802 Her age has nothing to do with it
I don’t hope for her to get away but I hope for her to have more support from people on the outside and be strong enough to just get through another year and go off to college
Omg I wish I could mentor and support this young lady. I’m praying for her to find unconditional love and support as she and her brothers have suffered so much not having parents. 💕
Her telling her granddaughter she would have given her up and kept her brothers really made things fall into place for me. What a horrible thing to not only say but to say it TO her. The pressure and stuff she's putting on her is 1) maybe because she don't want her granddaughter to end up like her daughter and 2) some internalized misogyny. The grandmother is the adult smh. Hearing you aren't wanted by a parent/guardian is so soul crushing and no amount of apologizing can undo the damage.
Thank you saying this. My mama told me January 20th 2023 that she never wanted me, nobody does, she regretted having me & so on forth…I decided to forgive & move on but I can’t lie, those words are LOUD in my ear head & I can’t believe it was said but God has me covered.
The grandparent just was not a listener. The young girl did whatever she could that could do to 😮😂keep the hurt away.
But can't she see her daughter was not a mentally well person?
Typical black male worshiper!!! Do all and everything and make all kinds of excuses for the boys. But all the girls get is excessive discipline and emotional abuse disguised as “protection”.
I’ll bet her brothers have a totally different experience from the grandmother than this poor girl received. 😢😢
This grandmother is wrong
The grand daughter is a good child. She does well in school, she comes home at a good reasonable time, she washes the dishes. I wish this grandma would just give this girl peace of mind. All these bad language and torment is just going to make this child end up like her mama cause she’s going to start looking for that love and peace outside & she would find worse like unwanted pregnancy, peer pressure etc
M
Exactly
The grandmother need to give respect to her granddaughters. She is hurting her not helping her.
Dating at 17.....too early
She's a good child because the grandmother have poured into her. Kids need to do what they're told. The grandmother isn't telling her to do anything wrong or harmful. This generation want to be 40 before they're 40.
OMG you handled This family situation so beautiful. You were CALM non judgemental and you brought them back together. In The beginning I thought it was going to turn into a Storm but you calmly eased in and made them both feel that they are deserving. I THANK GOD for you and The Skills and compassion he has blessed you with. Not very MANY people have the ability to CALM The raging Sea. I truly appreciate you and thank God for your phenomenal work bringing families together. We need families to stay together Love each other. This world is getting More and More Cruel. Thank you and may God continue blessing you with The extraordinary gift of love.
I give you serious props for a successfully mediation between a old school grandma and a Gen Z!!! Both of those black ladies felt heard, seen and validated. My prayers are with that family. Keep doing what you're doing..."healing!"
Karamo’s voice is so calming
right oml so comforting
You did really well Karamo ❤
People talking about the granddaughter without understanding the grandmother's perspective. Thanks for bringing them together. This is my best reconciliation from you to them. Thanks again❤
Grandma was raised from a generation that were not supported emotionally and she can’t give what she didn’t have…her generation is hard nosed and we’re raised to take a lick and keep going! She will not be able to see it, they will have to grow in grace and allow grace for one another! Z has her own trauma and this babygirl deserves so much support and not rejection! Lord bless them both🙌🏾
"Each other"? No, she has zero grace for her grand daughter and appears to hate her because of her own projections
Adults who treat children this way are just bitter and tryna get revenge.
1000%
N they dont deserve respect n will never change
This is y when my children's wz little I prayed and ask God 🙏 to let me live to raised my own children's because there are no other person beside (GOD) that will love ur children's and treat them right but they mother no matter what I had 8 children's and noone could just come into my family because me and my sister raised our children's more like sisters/brothers then just cousins and this y now they kind just call on each other threw thick and thin they coming I think 🙏🏽 for the love they have for each other and wen problem come up they have each other back I really feel for this child because her grandmother is a BULLY PERIOD 😶😡
This grandma is very disrespectful I pray and hope this granddaughter will be a better person than the grandma portray her to be!! Our God is watching over her (the granddaughter
U can see they clearly love each other just minor misunderstanding, thanks for your show God bless!! Netta
I’m actually really disappointed that he didn’t address her physically abusing her 🤔 It was plain as day and she admitted to it. Why wasn’t it talked about?
Because people don't care about child abu$e. I was bothered by that too. Karamo has no problem telling people to leave their spouse who physically hits them. But people don't care for violence against children as much as they do in other groups.
I believe this young lady. The older generation is like this for sure, especially in the black family. You can talk back, ask questions, express your feelings, blink, say "butt," ...nothing... that type of parenting is dead. We have to talk to our children. We have to let them express themselves.
This here broke me down 😢 My heart goes out to this family. It’s a lot of HURT Here… I Pray that they both can heal and move forward…
THE CROCODILE TEARS FROM THE GRANDMA GOT ITT
BYEEE
Did you see them also.? She became aware of the audiences response to Zeniah s tears
Aww, this Young Lady is so broken and I feel for her. She doesn't strike me as being loud mouthed and disrespectful. The Grandmother admitted to calling her a B...., slapping her, putting her out, threatened to shoot her in the foot and otherwise being verbally, emotionally and physically abusive to her. My heart aches for this Young Lady. They need more counseling and FAST!! I hope things get better for them!
You can’t tell just tell by one interview
Where are the teachers, neighbors, and most importantly The Police. If they responded to A call of abuse from the granddaughter to the grandmother they dropped the ball. Grandma admitted she's abusive to this young lady. Aren't they trained to detect who the real threat is.?
I know we need to pray for Granny she need help truly. Actually she been through a lot and taking it out on her. She just need help. ..
@@valeriebennett9706 ima the grandmother side
@@juanitaminor8113 u need help ima pray for u also
Oh! Baby girl. She needs a lot of help . Sending her Love.❤❤❤
I’m a person that’s big on accountability! This grandmother is horrible and so many people are allowing her to proceed!! Respect has to go both ways! Forgiveness doesn’t mean keeping people in your life. This young lady is one year away from never HAVING to speak to this grandma again!
And that would be my end goal never to see her again not even in death
I don't think that the grandmother is horrible at all. But I can definitely see that she is tired of all the negative feedback that she is getting from her grand-daughter. It takes one who has been there to recognize the signs.
She is not horrible stfu.
@@blessedbeauty5411 awwww you weren't hugged much as a child were you
Facts
I couldn't live like this, and I don't want my daughters to feel this way either. The grandmother is angry that she had to take on the responsibility of raising her grandchildren.
So true. Granny has issues.
I don’t think it’s that exactly…..I think the grandmother is extremely afraid of seeing her granddaughter doing the same as her mother, so her flawed form of discipline is kicked into overdrive and it’s hurting both of them emotionally. They’re both tired. That being said, she’s being extremely close minded to the fact that her granddaughter is NOT her mother and negative reinforcement will get them nowhere.
Did grandma have to take responsibility for the children.? She made it Clear the children were hers before the mother passed. Is it possible she was controlling and took over. Nor did she appear remorseful/ hurt by whatever fate took her daughter. I lost my 26 year old son 17 years ago (no he wasn't an intended target ) and I'm still grieving. People display grief diffently, hopefully I'm wrong about her,?
The grandma aint gunna change. She is old and those ways are already mature and stuck with her
Zeniah doesn't look like someone that disrespects her grandmother....The Granny is clearly the problem.
she’s never been disrespectful. zaniah has always been so sweet, she’s on the cheer team, she’s an A and B average student. everyone loves her including me! she always spoke so highly of her when we went to school together. so sad to see this happening.
Do you live in the home.mind yur own business
@@rhoshellpearson2163if you was getting treated like that you would not be commenting this hush .
@@M.Swigglez You never know... All that grand mother expressed is rage and an open wound that maybe opened wider if she dies too.
Yessss
Grandma represents a generation of people who lack respect and accountability. Defending yourself is disrespectful to these people. The real reason why so many people need therapy now
Facts!
She’s baby boomer
I’m glad somebody said it
Yep!
Facts
AWESOME Gramma
But. Gramma gat to take it down plenty love to BOTH of you❤❤❤
Karamo I really felt like you held back on the grandmother.
She needed to know that respect HAS to go both ways, otherwise she risks the relationship between her and Zaniyah.
You could easily tell that Zaniyah doesn't have the option to express her feelings in the house.
Zaniyah literally said "Me expressing my feelings is talking back to you."
THAT type of "old school" parenting needs to stop.
I understand that shes a grandmother, and shes taking on a responsibility that she didn't have to take on, and I commend her for that.
But we HAVE to start caring about what the kids have to say.
We HAVE to start listening, and being OPEN to hearing them.
So true.
Maybe the indepth talk with the grandmother occurred off screen. Why add fuel to a fire, he didn't want to set the grandmother off 🤣🤣🤣, she is his elder too
@@macyprimm7201 But since when do elders not deserve to be checked?
@@MusicOfVendetta I didn't say the grandmother's "old school" parenting didn't need to be addressed, what I said is that out of respect for all involved, professional off screen intervention may have occurred.
He held back a lot, maybe he was afraid. He usually is more direct with his guests and quick to call them out on their “wrong doings”
And can we keep it a buck? He gaslit the hell out of Zaniya. How are you going to let someone sit on your stage & say “yeah, I’m physically abusing this child because she talks when I don’t want her to talk,” and then tell that child to apologize??? Would he let a man who’s abusing his partner get away with saying something like that??? I doubt it. I need him to stop trying to be “down” with the black community & just be real. That woman needed to hear some truth about herself on that stage & Zaniya needed her to hear it too. Idk, this episode was really disappointing. After seeing the way it ended, I feel even more hurt for that young girl.
Karamo needs to apologize to her too.
exactly I was so disappointed in him
Yeah...I'm surprised of his response.
I thought it was just me. In my eyes she did nothing wrong and seemed more mature than her grandmother. Respect is earned not given because you "raised" me
I didn't like that either...that's how so many child go unsaved and abused for years
He doesn’t have the range to be the moderator of these conversations. He always does this. Both ppl need to apologize seems to be his motto😒
Watching this gave me PTSD. Whew! Trauma is CRAZY! I feel bad for these grandmas; the generation curses is wild!
This grandma is very toxic and she doesn’t like that her granddaughter stand up to her. I stood up to my grandma and she told me I was the most disrespectful grandchild of her. Her daughter gave me up for adoption at birth so they thought they could say whatever they wanted to say, I spoke back. This old school needs to stop, this a new generation and they not taking no mess from anybody. I pray they can find love again and the grandma is hurt because the lost of her daughter. Praying for this family.
I hope she gets into the military and gets to get away and see the world. She deserves to see that she is valued, loved, and accomplished despite odds against her. She has clearly been verbally and physically abused and I'm glad that teachers/mentors have shown support of her.
I wish I could take Zaniya
Sad thing is the abuse will continue in the military. They treat minorities like trash over here
Even in this moment, she’s not allowing her granddaughter to speak.
This woman proudly said she would shoot that girl in the foot… she said she slapped her granddaughter because she was talking… this lady is evil and abusive. It’s not about protection, it’s about power. I hope this girl is able to get away from her and live a peaceful life after already experiencing so much loss.
Will you house her and put food on her belly cos you seem to be comfortable behind that screen talking about the grandma is evil...she could've let the state take her when her mum died but she took her in and cared for her...is she hostile yes but her intentions are not bad.
@@opeyemiadegoke361 oh no, an adult is doing the bare minimum we have to kneel before them and thank her hail to our queeen 😒 the audacity
Figurative language
@@gm3entertainment Abusive language, and abusive actions on top of it.
@@opeyemiadegoke361 yes I agree
I pray our generation will do better raising their kids. I always tell my kids to speak up when something is hurting them.
I always tell my kids to say what is on their mind. You can express how you feel without being disrespectful, rude, cussing, or being loud.
When she turns 18, she leaving. Ain’t no way I’d stick around for that.
OMG! this is so horrible & heartbreaking to hear! i’m literally fighting back tears watching this. zaniah and i went to elementary, middle, and high school together. she’s always been a fun, down to earth girl. while maintaining an A & B+ average, she’s also been on the cheer team since freshman year. she’s done the unthinkable and impossible at such a young age. i’m so proud of her. her mother passed away when we were younger, so her grandmother stepped in to take care of her & her older brother who graduated high school last year. she always spoke so highly of her grandmother & always smiled while talking about her. she loves that lady so much. who would’ve known what was happening💔💔💔
@mzpradaa if you can try to support zaniah until she can get away before her grandmother breaks her spirit!!
See. That grandmother is evil & jealous.
How you going to put your grand daughter out?!! Oh my!! 😢😢
@@doreenwilliams9622 i’m going to do everything i can to find her on social media & contact her! i moved across town junior year, so unfortunately we lost contact. it won’t be hard to find her since she’s very active on social media, along with our peers though.
This is so sad. The grandmother is ABUSIVE...I pray the granddaughter heal and move the hell away from her... oh my good. Generational meaness in that woman
Grandparents like this are never really sorry, they’re sorry for being called out but eventually turn back to their ways
I WAS RAISED LIKE THIS AND IM 62 and HAVE A HARD TIME TRUSTING PEOPLE, IM MARRIED AND DIVORCED..NO KIDS.... AND I HAVE NO SELF BECAUSE I DON'T KNOW WHAT THAT IS! LET YOUR KIDS GROW UP AND LEARN ABOUT THEIRSELVES AND LEARN YO BE STRONG AND SELF SUFFICIENT! I FEEL SO BAD FOR THAT GIRL!
I feel so bad for her. I can’t tell she’s a sweetheart and she’s even a good student. I really hope she gets out of this environment and I just want peace for her ❤
She is a sweet sweet young lady and she needs love
I believe everything this baby is going through.. literally the story of my life..I'm grown now but I've been through everything she's saying ..he grandma is a reflection of my mom
I pray for them both. The Grandmother is still grieving her daughter, and is over protective of her granddaughter, because she knows that this is a mad world to come up in. I believe in them both, and is looking forward to learn about them coming back together...❤🙏🏾♥️
The grandmother is closed minded.
Depends on how she was raised and her mental now.
Highly upset you told that girl apologize for disrespecting her gma when she literally said on stage her disrespecting her is simply her stating how she feels…
I think he knows, it's just for the Grandmother who feels like the victim? and just to settle things.
@@mercy6549 but then it's enabling her
@@prettypills true
Pandering to the grandmother and gaslighting the girl is dysfunctional AF!! Nobody gains anything: grandmother leaves feeling vindicated and with an even more heightened sense of entitlement. The girl leaves feeling humiliated, disempowered and stripped of any sense of agency, the host feeling like he’s done a great job facilitating the “reconciliation “. Epic mess!!
Amen grandma, Amen. 🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽 it’s done when you turn 18 and get out in your own. Be still, be quiet, graduate, get a job, and then get out. Don’t expect your grandmother to relate to what you see in other homes and in the streets. It’s that simple. Don’t destroy your life before you get started. And this to shall past… Take advantage of living in a secure home.Your grandmother does love you. Keep living…👀
she aint disrespectful, she just doesnt tolerate disrespect. period
Exactly
When you an adult an out on your own you can do what you want . When someone is taking care of you all that PERIODT attitude can go to the way side
@@ramonahamm6292 you missed the point
@@ramonahamm6292 it’s not attitude just because you will allow somebody to put their hands on you and talk to you any type of way and beat on you doesn’t mean that everyone else law will. The grandmother is abusive she takes her frustration out in that girl and if she couldn’t handle raising them kids she shouldn’t have taken them in smh.
@@ramonahamm6292 You honestly think the second this girl leaves her grandma is magically going to respect her?
As a grandmother I have some old school ways in me. No one is perfect and I will never threaten to shoot my grandson and then turn around and say that you shouldn't carry a gun. Not about to tell my grandson should not be violent, but then turn around and threaten him with violence. Everyone is different, a lot of people identify very well with their abusers. I remember hearing people say I brought you in this world and I can take you out, but I always knew that saying is equivalent to murder. I respect people's way of raising their children, but my children as well as my grand child knows and will always know that quote about shooting somebody in the foot came from the slavemaster. If the slave thought about escaping or getting out of line. As an older woman I learned that old-school mean different things to people. I learned as a child sometimes old school mean that an adult is not going to care if you were violated in any type of way. Sometimes the overprotective one is the one that the child or children need to be protected from. I apologized to my grown children for a lot of things that I felt I could have done better as a parent. And even though they feel I was a great parent, I still feel that I could have given them more of a voice. Just because you're older doesn't mean you're always right. My children made some decisions that I might not have liked, but I don't resent them for it. My condolences to the mother who lost her child and the young lady who lost her mother.
Salute!!!
💯
Amen
I also had custody of four grandchildren the youngest one was three months old, it was hard, But GOD" !!!! I can realate to the grandmother, I when through trails and tribulations, If I didn't have GOD" in my life I never wouldn't made it.
This comment and these responses make so much sense 👏🏾
@@jahneastanfield2662 ♥
It’s easy for us to point fingers at the grandmother, but none of us have walked in her shoes. She should be enjoying her senior years, she’s already raised her family, now she’s trying to raise her grandkids, life always seems easier when you aren’t directly involved. Perhaps family counseling would help both of them. Wouldn’t it be wonderful if life was that easy.
We live in a fragile world where there is so much turmoil around us, peer pressures, it’s a wonder this grandmother and granddaughter can meet eachother half way. No one has the answers , but to start pointing fingers at either one of them is not fair. I certainly have not walked in either shoes, nor do I want to judge either . I have to clean my own backyard before I can clean any one else’s. I wish them both the best, to the grandmother I say this too shall pass.
Granny is treating her like her deceased daughter
“The grandma later went back to her old ways, The End”
Hopefully not.
Exactly
I want to hug this this young lady I have a granddaughter myself I love her to death she's now she's 24 she's my princess God bless them to love each other again ❤️❤️❤️
The way her grandmother is with her is so sad 😢 the grand daughter has such a bright future . She probably could have never grieved her mothers death because she have to deal with her grandmother so much.
I had the similar situation that’s so crazy
Old people these days kill me, they demand respect while being disrespectful smh. "Old school" is an excuse to be rude, abusive, self centered, and ignorant
AGREE 100%.
👏🏽👏🏽
i agree and i disagree kids who dont get taught to respect and be grateful for things they have end up spoiled and disrespectful i dont knock old school ways not until your abusing the child like thats your fucking slave then no dss needs to get involved but if your telling the child that respect and comes a long way theres nothing wrong with that this generation itself is so fucked up to the point kids talk back and order there parents to give them what they want when bad behavior is intact and its truly not right thats my opinion im pregnant with my first baby now hes a boy he will be taught that bad behavior isnt rewarded only good behavior like how i was taught but beating a child is never the answer!!! my little cousin who is 7 disrespects her mother and father and my father and my grandparents when she doesnt get what she wants for christmas or excetra yhu dont want your child being so spoiled that they dont think when they being bad there doing nothing wrong thats how these kids end up in jail and serial killers.
@@jayjayla205 emotional abuse exists. Just because you're not laying hands on a child doesn't mean the child isn't being abused.
@@mkxv excatly yhu can talk to a child with common fucking sense i been mentally and physically abusived as a child thats why my fucking son is not gonna know nothing about that yhu have to teach a child how to be sweet and nice and give them the same in return thats common sense im 20 years old and still think about how i was treated wen yhu become pregnant yhu set boundaries for yourself.
This is like watching my mother and myself at this young lady's age. I left home as soon as I graduated high school and never looked back. I graduated college with a Masters Degree. I am a military vet. business owner and mother of three beautiful daughters. I was determined and made it my goal not to be the mother to my daughters my mother was to me. Today I am 51 and I do not have a relationship with my mother. I say to this young lady hang in there be strong but most of all be patient and break the cycle.
This grandma made me want to give her a piece of my mind, her antics truly worked my nerves.
I can’t wait for her to go to college and escape from all the toxicity from this lady. Imagine a smart girl with good grade like her , one would think her grandmother would be her rock and be so pampering and loving to her grand baby but instead she is wishing he didn’t have to keep her and all the toxic stuff. I can’t deal 😡
I pray that this young lady hold on, love yourself and learn how to ignore your grandmother when she's talking to you, don't say anything back to her, do the dishes whenever she asked. Pretty soon you'll be grown you'll get a job and you will move out on your own. Most important do not get pregnant mama, do not move in with any young man, I live in the state of Michigan I would take you in from what I see you are a good girl. Your grandmother don't understand the word respect she should never put her hands on you, and whatever you do please do not put your hands on her. Walk away if she ever hits you again I'm praying that God gives you the strength to go on and not be bitter I promise you when you come through this you're going to be a much stronger young lady you are a strong young lady. Please do not be influenced by your boyfriend the last thing you want to do is get pregnant I pray that God watches over you and guide you and protect you from all harm. I pray that your grandmother stop putting her hands on you.❤❤
Am from Africa Kenya you reminded me my grandma I love her I remember good things ❤️
I have an uncle who did. In fact, get shot by my grandfather, but in the arm, over standing up for himself. The trauma and shame that the old skool inflicted on their children runs deep, and folks like Zania will end the generational curses that hang over our community. Don’t let anyone break your spirit Zania! Stand in your truth!
i went to school with this girl she was so sweet and innocent
right me too! she’s always been so sweet, smart, and angelic!
Wow this seriously sad my belly is turning it upside down
My deepest CONDOLENCES to the entire family.
Im so glad that we are attempting to come out of this BS in the newer generation. Its okay to be a parent or an authority without being disrespectful or demeaning.