I think it's really important to hear from NB people who don't wish to alter their bodies physically, whether they have dysphoria (which it sounds like you do) or not. I think what you described is gender dysphoria because it's basically just discomfort, anxiety, and uneasiness with one's body. Thank you for being so open and honest in this video about a very sensitive topic. It seems incredibly difficult for people who are completely agender or genderfluid who do experience dysphoria because, like you said, medical transition may not help at all. There's not exactly a way to "look genderless," apart from trying to appear completely androgynous--which isn't for some people! And not being able to fluctuate your body along with fluctuating gender identity, for genderfluid people, is not possible either. I feel like, because I do lean more on one side of the spectrum, I can alter my body to feel as though I fit into it better... and I think that comes with inherent privilege that other NB people don't have. :/ Thanks once more for mentioning my funding in your video!
I would define gender dysphoria as feelings of discontent, dissociation or depression regarding a person’s biological sex. I would also tack on a disclaimer stating that these feelings shouldn’t solely be caused by society or other people - if your only source of discomfort with your gender comes from ‘the way society sees me as [gender]’ then you need to seriously rethink whether you need medical transition. However, this definition doesn’t explain how ‘feelings of discontent, dissociation or depression’ could manifest, so here’s a list of possibilities. I’m going to use the term sex-typical to mean characteristics due to your biological sex, such as prominent hips or breasts for FTM people, or broad shoulders or facial hair for MTF people. Discontent: feeling ashamed or embarrassed by your body, specifically by sex-typical features not being able to fit into the type of clothes you want to wear because of your sex-typical body shape feeling like you are not living the life you should be feeling uncomfortable in gender-specific spaces such as bathrooms or women’s or men’s support groups Dissociation: surprise or discomfort when sex-typical traits are touched/bumped (eg forgetting you have breasts, then holding something to your chest and feeling them) inability to mentally picture your body in sexual situations a sense of disconnect or lack of understanding about your emotional responses inability to relate to discussions of what is expected of people your gender (eg talking about ‘one day, when you’re a mum/dad’) not feeling close to other people of your biological sex (note: this doesn’t mean ‘I’m not like the other girls, they’re all popular and into fashion and I’m edgy and different’, I’m talking about a severe lack of understanding or disconnect from the majority of men/women) (FTM specific) forgetfulness with regards to menstrual periods Depression: long term feelings of anxiety or depression about your sex-typical characteristics OR with no recognisable cause desire to self-harm or cause harm to/remove your genitals in sexual people, a lack of sex drive due to discomfort with your genitals or feelings of shame, embarrassment or depression during/after sex extreme discomfort or disgust with sex-typical bodily functions (eg growing facial hair for MTF people or menstrual periods for FTM people) a sense of fatalism or resignation towards a future living as your birth gender - feeling like there’s no hope for the future or that there is nothing to look forward to
I think it's really important to hear from NB people who don't wish to alter their bodies physically, whether they have dysphoria (which it sounds like you do) or not. I think what you described is gender dysphoria because it's basically just discomfort, anxiety, and uneasiness with one's body.
Thank you for being so open and honest in this video about a very sensitive topic.
It seems incredibly difficult for people who are completely agender or genderfluid who do experience dysphoria because, like you said, medical transition may not help at all. There's not exactly a way to "look genderless," apart from trying to appear completely androgynous--which isn't for some people! And not being able to fluctuate your body along with fluctuating gender identity, for genderfluid people, is not possible either. I feel like, because I do lean more on one side of the spectrum, I can alter my body to feel as though I fit into it better... and I think that comes with inherent privilege that other NB people don't have. :/
Thanks once more for mentioning my funding in your video!
I would define gender dysphoria as feelings of discontent, dissociation or depression regarding a person’s biological sex. I would also tack on a disclaimer stating that these feelings shouldn’t solely be caused by society or other people - if your only source of discomfort with your gender comes from ‘the way society sees me as [gender]’ then you need to seriously rethink whether you need medical transition.
However, this definition doesn’t explain how ‘feelings of discontent, dissociation or depression’ could manifest, so here’s a list of possibilities. I’m going to use the term sex-typical to mean characteristics due to your biological sex, such as prominent hips or breasts for FTM people, or broad shoulders or facial hair for MTF people.
Discontent:
feeling ashamed or embarrassed by your body, specifically by sex-typical features
not being able to fit into the type of clothes you want to wear because of your sex-typical body shape
feeling like you are not living the life you should be
feeling uncomfortable in gender-specific spaces such as bathrooms or women’s or men’s support groups
Dissociation:
surprise or discomfort when sex-typical traits are touched/bumped (eg forgetting you have breasts, then holding something to your chest and feeling them)
inability to mentally picture your body in sexual situations
a sense of disconnect or lack of understanding about your emotional responses
inability to relate to discussions of what is expected of people your gender (eg talking about ‘one day, when you’re a mum/dad’)
not feeling close to other people of your biological sex (note: this doesn’t mean ‘I’m not like the other girls, they’re all popular and into fashion and I’m edgy and different’, I’m talking about a severe lack of understanding or disconnect from the majority of men/women)
(FTM specific) forgetfulness with regards to menstrual periods
Depression:
long term feelings of anxiety or depression about your sex-typical characteristics OR with no recognisable cause
desire to self-harm or cause harm to/remove your genitals
in sexual people, a lack of sex drive due to discomfort with your genitals or feelings of shame, embarrassment or depression during/after sex
extreme discomfort or disgust with sex-typical bodily functions (eg growing facial hair for MTF people or menstrual periods for FTM people)
a sense of fatalism or resignation towards a future living as your birth gender - feeling like there’s no hope for the future or that there is nothing to look forward to