Lmao definitely NTA. She even said "Go get it elsewhere because you're not getting it from me." It was almost like a dare, she was so full of herself, thinking he wouldn't go through with it. Not willing to at all communicate and make compromises with your partner is bad. It takes compromises and a lot of work from both sides to make things work. I'm wondering why they were even together in such a scenario.
She takes him for granted, emotionally and physically neglects him. Tramples on his kindness, patience, understanding, and love, by scribbling out the letter to express his P.O.V. Then gets shocked when she gets replaced... NTA my brother, get divorced and a better life and wife.
Not cheating if she gave him written permission to have sex with people other than her. This is what she gets for only thinking of herself and manipulating him.
Nope nta, she should've read the letter, I get she doesn't want to have intimacy with him but whats he supposed to do? I know some people would say "if he loved her he would do what she wants", but if she loved him wouldn't she compromise?
NTA; I thought they were at first until her hand written response. Wasn't cheating either, I wouldn't let her get away with calling it cheating. I don't think she should be married; like a guy that only wants sex (no friendship) shouldn't get married- a woman that only wants friendship (no sex) shouldn't get married either.
Just get a divorce. You don't have children, so there is really nothing tying you to this woman. She's not really your wife; your marriage is a sham and always was. Just get a divorce.
Your are both young.. She has to know you will either get it somewhere else or leave.. I think in all seriousness, you need to leave and get divorced..
This is usually the case. Arbitrary walls like "I made a choice long ago", "I'm abstaining for spiritual purposes" in the west are common indicators of infidelity.
Trying to resolve toxicity with toxic ways is not the answer, maybe you both need a new counsellor or a divorce before you both get more psychological issues
Technically she gave him written consent to seek sexual satisfaction outside of the marriage. Not reading the contract doesn't protect you from responsibility of honoring it in any legal area in life. It still sucks though, because relationships shouldn't be treated like contracts. He should have left then. I'm also not a lawyer, so I don't know what would happen, if he were to present the scribbled letter before the judge during the divorce. Obviously the ideal situation would be to realize, that the wife has so little respect for him, that she can't be bothered to take 5 minutes out of her life to read a letter he wrote. He should have left her then, but he didn't. He deluded himself into thinking that outside of the sexual area his marriage is perfect. That delusion has made him a cheater. In the long run it will just cause harm to both families and to his reputation.
I abhor when men cheat. But in this case, I'm not so sure this guy is completely off base. My only thought is that he's in an untenable situation: he's a man, and men need sex. She is completely unwilling to have any sex with him, but doesn't want him getting it elsewhere. So she expects to put a chastity belt on the poor guy - he's completely unhappy, and she's perfectly content. Doesn't sound like a marriage to me.
Lmao definitely NTA. She even said "Go get it elsewhere because you're not getting it from me." It was almost like a dare, she was so full of herself, thinking he wouldn't go through with it.
Not willing to at all communicate and make compromises with your partner is bad. It takes compromises and a lot of work from both sides to make things work. I'm wondering why they were even together in such a scenario.
Nope she made the choice for you. Your only mistake is staying with her
Honestly no sex is basically a breach in the marriage contract to me. Out the door
She takes him for granted, emotionally and physically
neglects him.
Tramples on his kindness, patience, understanding, and love, by scribbling out the letter to express his P.O.V.
Then gets shocked when she gets replaced...
NTA my brother, get divorced and a better life and wife.
Not cheating if she gave him written permission to have sex with people other than her. This is what she gets for only thinking of herself and manipulating him.
Nope nta, she should've read the letter, I get she doesn't want to have intimacy with him but whats he supposed to do? I know some people would say "if he loved her he would do what she wants", but if she loved him wouldn't she compromise?
Should of divorced
I despise any kind of cheating but She DID tell him to go get it somewhere else sooooo...he did
NTA; I thought they were at first until her hand written response. Wasn't cheating either, I wouldn't let her get away with calling it cheating.
I don't think she should be married; like a guy that only wants sex (no friendship) shouldn't get married- a woman that only wants friendship (no sex) shouldn't get married either.
Just get a divorce. You don't have children, so there is really nothing tying you to this woman. She's not really your wife; your marriage is a sham and always was. Just get a divorce.
Your are both young.. She has to know you will either get it somewhere else or leave.. I think in all seriousness, you need to leave and get divorced..
You should have left 2 years ago.
I don't believe for one minute that she is not getting it elsewhere too. Forget counseling and call a divorce lawyer, this marriage is over.
This is usually the case.
Arbitrary walls like "I made a choice long ago", "I'm abstaining for spiritual purposes" in the west are common indicators of infidelity.
What you mean by choices she made in the past? Is having kids not important to you as well? Just divorce her.
She get pregnant hoeing around and then had a baby deletion and it messed her up inside.
You dont want a divorce? Why? Why dont you want a divorce? It sounds like you both want different things.
"I don't want a divorce " ......well then you're doomed.
NTA. But just get divorced.
She said he could soooo
Should have divorced
*Where's The Video With The Updates!*
Honestly, I think either no one is the asshole, or everyone is the asshole here.
What do you mean? She is the AH. That is it.
Trying to resolve toxicity with toxic ways is not the answer, maybe you both need a new counsellor or a divorce before you both get more psychological issues
I have to stay consistent so I have to say yes, because you should have just broken up with her
Technically she gave him written consent to seek sexual satisfaction outside of the marriage. Not reading the contract doesn't protect you from responsibility of honoring it in any legal area in life. It still sucks though, because relationships shouldn't be treated like contracts. He should have left then. I'm also not a lawyer, so I don't know what would happen, if he were to present the scribbled letter before the judge during the divorce.
Obviously the ideal situation would be to realize, that the wife has so little respect for him, that she can't be bothered to take 5 minutes out of her life to read a letter he wrote. He should have left her then, but he didn't. He deluded himself into thinking that outside of the sexual area his marriage is perfect. That delusion has made him a cheater. In the long run it will just cause harm to both families and to his reputation.
Yikes
I abhor when men cheat. But in this case, I'm not so sure this guy is completely off base. My only thought is that he's in an untenable situation: he's a man, and men need sex. She is completely unwilling to have any sex with him, but doesn't want him getting it elsewhere. So she expects to put a chastity belt on the poor guy - he's completely unhappy, and she's perfectly content. Doesn't sound like a marriage to me.
Women☕
feminist acts, dude needs to leave and STOP being a doormat