AITAH for not forgiving my dad for what he said?
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- Опубликовано: 22 авг 2024
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Story: AITAH for not forgiving my dad for what he said?
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I'd tell him to go spend time with the kid he "wishes was his son" and that after I turn 18 he won't have to worry about seeing me ever again
Think again, is it worthy to severe ties with your dad over a sentence? Too petty
@@AnnaBrown99 Well I pretty much did it when I was 12 to my dad so I guess my bulls**t bar is on a pretty low setting
or you indulge too much in self pity?
don't know what your dad did but it's worth considering whether or not that might be the case rather than digging heels in and putting your fingers in your ears, people can't grow that way
@@doctordice6104 Well his "gift" for me on my 12th birthday was to tell me he wishes he told my mom to have an abortion while she was pregnant with me so I told him to f**k off and not worry about me because I don't have a father anymore
Come on... that is extreme... and unhealthy
Bro just had to say sorry honestly I shouldn’t of said that and this would of been done
Yeah. He made it worse for everyone by trying to lie and gaslight OP.
The dad knew what he said. OOP is NTA.
Mason apparently was excused to interrupt him during Father’s Day but not his wife or actual kids?
lol.
I think the point was, he wanted to work on his car without having to deal with other things… Mason was obviously there to help him with working on his car, ergo not an “interruption”…
The dad gets Wanker of the year award for that comment
Op was a better man than his father, hopefully when the father comes back he'll have cooled his head and realize it's on him. Not every son can learn cars, but that wasn't the issue both the kid and Ops father are surrogates for the other and it will only become toxic if not dealt with.
Update at 7:21.
I was in a situation similar to this with my own dad (I was more artsy/nerdy growing up, my dad and brother were athletes) and while I honestly do think OP overreacted, OP’s dad’s reaction to being confronted just made everything worse. I really hope he can swallow his pride and try to slowly make amends.
OP did not overreact, he overheard his dad tell another kid your the son the kind of son I’ve always wanted, and for the bio biological son he raised from birth to now that he’d preferred if he actually had a son like the other kid. All because he doesn’t like cars. He was praising a kid that wasn’t his own in the same breath expressing sadness and regret for his biological kid being his kid. Also none communication is a form of communication it signal of I don’t eff with you right now. Then for him to lie and say he didn’t say it lying to his kids face a
Instead of addressing and owning it. Also he didn’t take back what he said, or that he regretted it.
@@abubarrie88 IMO OP overreacted because this sounds like it was a misunderstanding that could’ve been cleared up if it was addressed right away.
OP: “Hey dad, I heard you say such and such to Mason and it kinda hurt my feelings. Can we talk about it?”
In this moment, I’m positive OP’s dad would’ve heard him out and apologized for saying something that hurt his sons feelings. And guess what, if OP’s dad DOESNT apologize, NOW going scorched earth, NC, makes sense.
Also, it’s not like OP’s dad said: “I wish Mason was my son instead of OP” he said he wished he had a son who shared interests with him, that doesn’t mean he doesn’t want the son he has right now. You can have more than one son. That’s how it was in my family. Me and my dad didn’t share interests the way him and my brother did but he loved both of us equally regardless.
The moment he mentioned Mason I knew the narrator father would compare his son and Mason and that’s so shitty
Why do people not know to communicate problems with people and be angry without letting them know why you're angry!?
People don't respect or reward emotional maturity, common sense, or any form of even the most basic of human development and decency. For example (strong hypothetical only due to generalizations and stereotypes) let's say ALL women respond positively only to emotionally immature and very awful men, and with literally everyone, your parents, your boss, sibling, best friend, a random homeless bum you met literally 30 seconds ago, drilling into your head your life's purpose is to find a woman to love you, start a family, and happily ever after, from toddler to adulthood, would you continue your futile effort in establishing how special you feel she is to you, with flowers that she says she likes but loathes when they come from you, or would you be the biggest piece of kawap maggot crawling in the pile of dung? If you chose the former, good that means your self respect is way more valuable to you than any one else's validation, especially a woman's validation. But most men tend to choose the latter, either by trial and error or observation. Even a puppy learns eventually, rolling over in a cute manner will get it a really tasty burger bacon treat, meanwhile marking it's territory inside of the house will get it the beeting of a lifetime each time time. Human nature is human nature
The boy probably learned his wonderful communication style from his own father. 😅
Sad excuse for a father
I think the real issue is that he didn’t really mean it that way, but he got caught up in the moment and said what was on his heart at the time and got embarrassed. Every father wants a son who'll take after them in nearly every way, it's literally why Juniors exist, but at the same time you have to love your child regardless.
I don't think he doesn't love his son, but I do think that on Father's Day he wanted to have the same experience he had with his dad when he was younger, but knew he couldn't, which which opened the door for emotion. Then you have this fatherless kid, who's everything you wanted in a son for that specific area of your life, and you said what you said.
Sorry, I'm studying to be a therapist so they kinda have you go deeper into things.
I won't say he's wrong for wanting to bond with his kid in his way, but he is wrong for letting the inside thoughts come out. You can't do that, even if it's how you feel, because look what happens. I wonder if he ever tried to take an interest in his son's hobbies. Like you could have that bond, it just wouldn't be cars. You might even find a new hobby that you enjoy more than cars, and you'll have your son to thank for it, and then his self esteem would be through the roof.
As for the lying, well we've all done it when we're embarrassed, but the tantrum definitely needs to be checked. You're an adult, act like it.
Putting a hobby and another kid above his own son. Ok. As soon as possible, I'm outta here. Don't see me? That's on you, Dad. Enjoy your cars and your buddy.
Its not the hobby or mason its how how manipulated and denied it rather than acknowledge and understand how it hurt OP.
Ops mum should divorce him and he should adopt Mason and disowned by OP and his sister. Op and sister have a good relationship.
02:00 Oh my God.
*If There's Any New Updates, Please Upload A Video With The Updates!*
3:42 Text said AH (As*hole) but AI turned it into a moan Ahhhh😂😂😂😂
I’d talk about fellow friends dada and say how one is such a great dad wish he was my dad
Story 2: They really put that long ass nothing story in this.
Oh wait there was a little family drama at the end…. that should have had much more focus.
While OP’s dad is the one in the wrong here, OP should have had a one on one conversation with his dad instead of a group conversation. The whole family confronting him will make him instantly defensive. It also leads to a the rest of the rest of the families problems being intermingled with OP’s, like Mom’s problem with the car being brought up. Now instead of the conversation being about the dad’s statement, it’s about the father’s statement, the neighbors, the car, how much he does for the family, etc.
Yup and it becomes an all out attack... which is generalised rather than specific. If the tables were turned and that was being focused on the son how does he think he would react?
idk, your dad is always good to OP, and maybe he wants someone inside the family with the same interests as him. If I was OP, I would give the dad a chance to fix everything... It's silly to cut a father-son relationship over this.
I don't think the Dad meant it the way the OP took it. I don't think he was actively trying to put down OP. He had a dream of the kind of child he wanted but I don't think it was intended as a slight to OP.
Well this is the absolutely dumbest comments. Hearing your dad say that would be soul destroying for most children. To hear that the neighbor is son Dad wanted. Then lied and did what he did my god you are delusional.
Waaaauw. This dad is the most evil abusive dad in the world. He should go to hell..... (sarcasm).
🍼
He may not be the worst dad but he sure is a bitch
The kid also needs to develop resilience though... they need to chat and acknowledge each others differences. It is very normal for people to have different interest etc... and the dad is actually allowed his own views. It doesn't sound like he pushed anything on his son... parents do if they are honest have ideas of how their families and relationships would be... its fine to reconcile that and accept the kids they have but doesn't mean they were wrong to have original ideas.
That is life and growing
It is actually very controlling of the son and his sister to refuse to talk and a terrible way to deal with anything. They don't have to forgive but have they actually realised they are using forgiveness as a weapon?! Has the father actually offended in a conversation he was not meant to hear... or is he to be punished for even having the thought. It is extremely unhealthy to censor others thoughts
People talk how he was being manipulated? OOP was manipulative. Manipulation isn’t one lie. Manipulation is only telling your sister and ignoring your father causing your mum to be stressed. Being manipulative is shutting down and literally not understanding him. People make mistakes in the way people say certain words. The father might actually have said read the wrong words meant something different at heart. But only oop mattered. This why Reddit needs to get rid of general advice everything someone does is manipulation, other people’s emotions are invalid
Shut up 🙄
This is a comedy of errors.
This shows how miscommunication can snowball.
It reaffirmed my belief that we should be kind to each other, and doubtful of our understanding, because we may be wrong.
Isn't this just a semantic misunderstanding?
It's not like the words "I want a son like you"
Mean "my son is fundamentally a bad son and I would take you over him"
But instead "I wished I could do this with the son I had"
A "son like you"
Could just mean a son into cars, not someone who's not OP on all levels.
I'm not siding with either of the people in this story; OP decided to not talk to his father about it, and instead he decided to confide in random numbnuts from the internet who don't know nothing about their relationship, and then kept allenating his father and not actually comunicating. Somehow he went from saying the must dumb s+*t to being a the worst father in the whole world.