An update on my Equilibria code! "micheljanse50" lasts through 1/31 at this link: myeq.info/3edN2LO BUT THEN I have a different code starting in February if you are watching this at a later date! "micheljanse" will still get 15% off new orders after our 50% off code expires
I just signed up for the Sleep bundle!! So excited to get it in the mail. I also had previously ordered the Be Token when you had recommended them before but I stopped ordering them. I could see the positive effect CBD had on my stress though so I definitely need to keep it up.
Michel! Thank you so much for the recommendation for Equilibria again! I know you have before, but I finally ordered some since your promo code was alittle higher for stand alone items this time. An interesting video idea would be for you to compare some of the brands you’ve used. ie BeToken vs. equilibrium, different makeup products you’ve used, Vellabox vs. book club (or another candle subscription box).
Sweet Michel, on days where you feel like you should "be over it already", remember that it took time to develop feelings, decide to get married, and live all those life experiences. Give yourself grace for taking time to end those things as well. Grief of losing a loved one still hits new years later, and ending a relationship can feel that way too. Praying for you and all that you're going through right now. We appreciate your vulnerability 🙏🏼❤️
I too went through a divorce and this is the quote that helped me get through it. Thought I’d share it with you. “I would rather adjust my life to your absence, than adjust my boundaries to accommodate your disrespect.” Hang in there. Life does get better.
It’s been just shy of 7 YEARS since my husband left me. To this day, I STILL have moments of related emotions that hit me randomly. They don’t rule my life anymore, thankfully, but they still happen, and they’re hard when they do. Things take time, and there is no specific set amount of time that works for everyone. We are unique, and it’s all in God’s time. Rest in His healing hands and give yourself some grace. 🙏🏻❤️
Michel, PLEASE don’t be so hard on yourself. You are going to grieve for a long time. Maybe not all the time but it takes a while. You had a major loss and lost someone you loved very much. I find myself looking for your blogs everyday and love watching you and seeing how awesome you are doing taking your life back. I am so proud of you! YOU ROCK! 🥰❤️
I've heard grief described as a ball of pain in a box. Every time the ball hits a side of the box, it caused a wave of pain, but over time the box gets bigger and bigger and so the wave of pain comes less and less often, but can still strike without warning.
Hey Sweet Michel, divorce is a loss...it's OK to say no and cancel. Anyone that knows you and what you have been through will understand that there are good days and bad days. You have a journey you have to get through, and those moments when you need to be with loved ones, or not in the mood for whatever...it is part of the healing process! Take those moments, because you need it!
When you showed the thank you note and the last look at the ring I cried. Going through a divorce myself and trying so hard to stay positive with a broken heart. Thank you for sharing and being so real. I appreciate you 💖 (tears, tears, tears just typing this)
Don’t be hard on yourself. What your going through is like a death. You will grieve, it’s the death of a relationship. Grieving is different for everyone and the time and length are different. No need to apologize for your feelings. You are doing amazing and that’s to be congratulated. Bless you and know you are cared for by so many.
Thanks for showing the “real moments” anyone looking at you would assume you have it altogether with no worries, instead of a human being with your own personal struggles. I think it’s good looking at your past videos, although elicited some sad emotions, you did feel empathetic for yourself at that moment in time. It can only go up from here.
Michel, I have tears in my eyes for you when you made the realization about how hard you were trying back in those old videos. It was apparent to me and probably most that you were giving, giving, giving way more than you received. Although bittersweet, I feel you will continue to soar without that heavy ring burden. Keep being you- I’m loving watching your glow up happening before our eyes!💕
Michel, this is off subject. But, I feel like you’ve a straight line to our Father. And, I need PRAYERS for my Mom! Anyone reading this please pray for her to heal and come home.. this home. I need her, please tell Him I need her!! Thank you! I’m so happy for your growth, you’re truly doing amazing. The D word is TOUGH! My prayers are with you for peace and happiness! You’re on your way and shining through it!
You shouldn't be "over it" you should be whatever you need to feel at that moment in time. You definitely need to put yourself first and real friends will understand that. Glad you're feeling better 😊
Even if these issues and talks with your ex started a year ago, it doesn’t mean you should be over it already. You are so young so you spent a good percentage of your life with someone who was a constant. Like you said grief isn’t linear and for some divorce takes years and years and years to start over emotionally. You are okay exactly where you are. Plus you don’t have To be proud of yourself everyday for Pushing forward. Some days you should be proud of yourself for getting nothing done and crying all day, it heals the soul. We are all rooting for you!
I haven’t gone through a divorce but for some reason, when you were explaining your feelings about looking at yourself in past vlogs and thought to yourself “I feel for that girl, she’s trying so hard” Omg that hit me. In my own Relationship I can see picture perfect photos and think “It’s so funny how people doesn’t know about the argument that happened 15 minutes before the picture was taken or the tears I shed for X or Y reason just before the picture was taken or the struggles that we were going through at that moment and those miles were pretty much forced”. At the. end of the day I think what matters is your happiness and I’m so glad you have this outlet.
Michel, my 28ryold daughter just broke up with her boyfriend/live-in partner of 5yrs! Processing the grief is hard. Learning how to live on her own is hard. I think you are going to be a great help and resource for her. Thank you, and wishing you both love, happiness and peace. ❤️
I've got you on my prayers list, there is nothing you can't get through. You are equipped with everything you have need of, lean into your faith. ❤️🙏🏽 This Mama is standing with you. 💐🙂🙏🏽 Better days are coming.
Amen! I was going to say that - or at least, start with that ...... Because, as you said, dear Mila Rose, "when shit hits the fan", we ALL need that safe space to "run away to" - be it a coffee shop, a certain park (I've had those #rooseveltpark ), or - like in this phase of my life, when both my parents are deceased, and I'm an only child - my dear friend Joanne's.
And don't forget.... you lost a relationship, but that loss is the chance to gain relationships and experiences you otherwise would have lost out on! You gained a tremendous amount of life experience and learned alot about yourself and your self worth during your marriage. Now you are a brand new, shinier, smarter Michel!!!! MICHEL 2.0 has alot of new and exciting opportunities waiting for her to get out there and take hold of!!!! Have fun Michel!!!!
There is not a time frame for grief. It’s been 13 years this year since my mom decided to choose my abusive step father over me for the final time and I still grieve. I still have moments that the sadness randomly creeps up on me. I know you know these things but hopefully you can come back to these comments when you get in that mindset and remind yourself to give yourself grace. Thank you for showing us the raw moments. I am so glad you have your family and a community. When I was going through my loss I didn’t have anyone, especially not family, and it was exceptionally difficult.
I'm so proud of you! You did so many big things in this vlog! I've been going through a rough time lately with my mental health and seeing you persevere has really helped me. Seeing your struggle but also your determination had helped so much. I cleaned out my fridge today. I did the dishes. I reorganized my pantry. I went grocery shopping and meal prepped for the week. And I reorganized my cabinets. Thank you
I’ve never actually been moved to tears by watching anyone else on RUclips talk about their feelings. But watching you in this video made me cry. I completely understand what you were saying when you felt bad for yourself for trying so hard. I’m praying for you, I just know you’re going to get better. It takes a year or two, but from what I see in your videos, you’re already so far ahead of where most would be.
Michel, I am much older than you but have enjoyed discovering your channel in recent weeks. I have never divorced (marr. 52 yrs. this year) but many years ago I had the worst loss anyone can imagine...I lost my 9 yr. old daughter. I tell you this to say that you should never feel guilty for having "sad" or "bad" days. None of us can be strong every day. Even after 35 yrs. I still have sad times. Give yourself permission to cry or cancel plans or whatever you need. You are doing wonderfully in my opinion....you are growing each and every day. You have so much learning, loving, growing, experiencing, and so much more ahead of you....grab hold and let God steer the way! You've got this....even on the bad/sad days.
I’m so sorry for your loss. As a parent myself, I can’t even imagine that level of pain & hurts to even try. I pray for continued healing for you and your family.
My heart aches for you, and what you're going through. We are all following your journey, through the good times and bad. Whilst it is uplifting to see the days like that strong, positive day you had, I completely understand that it's not realistic to expect you to be happy every day.
Sending you all the love girl! Don't be so hard on yourself! You are grieving and that will come in waves but give yourself grace! You gave your whole heart to someone and it takes time for it to heal
After every vlog you share I always just want to tell you that I’m so proud of you. It’s a weird world where I genuinely care about a person whom I only know off the internet but I admire you and wholeheartedly enjoy all the time you share with your followers! Cheers to you Michel and may our good God continue to bless you and comfort you in this season❤️
I was in a 13 year relationship that I left back in 2017. I'd been with him since I was 17 and left when I was 30. It was a worst case scenario by the end, and I had to leave in a way I never ever wanted to do to another person, and just completely blindside them and disappear. I can't fully describe what I went through inside afterwards. I was dying. I was dying on what felt like a cellular level. I tried SO so so hard to make that relationship work, and at the end of it all, realized I was, and had been, the only one trying. And after I left he blamed me. To everyone he talked to he blamed me. And even though I knew beforehand he would, that expectation didn't change the depth of the guilt and shame and betrayal and pure heartbreak I went through. And literally thousands of times the first 3 years after leaving I'd be overwhelmed by negative emotions of one kind or another, out of nowhere. I pulled over into parking lots dozens of times because I'd be driving and suddenly start sobbing so hard I couldn't see or control the full body shaking. I'd wake myself up from crying so hard in my sleep. I'd be eating and suddenly be crying so hard I threw up what I'd just swallowed a half second before. For 2 straight years I'd cry every time I worked out. Every. Single. Time. And I worked out a lot because for 2 decades that had been my biggest form of self care and stress relief. I started out having 1 day that I'd feel ok. Then 10 in a row where I felt like my body was physically dying with me inside it. Then it was 2 OK days and 10 bad ones. 2 years in I'd have 1 GREAT day where I recognized myself and felt amazing. And 5-8 where even eating 1 meal would take hours because I was so completely drained from that 1 day. It's been 4 years now. I have a week or 2 of good days with 1-3 great days somewhere in there.... and a week of how do I even make myself function days. I still have extremely detailed and vivid dreams of the past, or alternate realities of the future, what maybe it would have been if I had stayed. I can't tell you how hard and disturbing those dreams are. I swear the change and the progress I could see those first 2 years was as close to zero as you could get without bring zero. BUT, the last 2 years it's been slowly speeding up. I've made more internal progress towards reconnecting with who I am and who I would have been, in the last 6 months that the 3.5 years before that. I think the speed is going to increase more over time. One day I'll just BE me again, instead of borrowing her for short time intervals then loosing her because my brain is too exhausted. Recovery is so far away from a straight line. It's so far away from what we expect it to be, even when we think we have realistic expectations. I think you're doing well. Those times where you fall back into that quicksand ARE hard, they ARE sudden, they ARE unexpected. And it's so deeply unsatisfying to know its going to be like that even if you do everything in you're Recovery "right". But you're still getting there. Even the bad days back in the quicksand are still getting you there. Even when they feel like it's the opposite. 💜
So happy you are able to visit your parents when needed. "I should be over it by now" is what I kept saying months after I had a miscarriage in 2019. I happened upon a sign where I worked and it said something along the lines of "grief has no expiration date/time limit." Of course I started bawling my eyes out. It's probably going to take long than you expected. Praying over you.
Thank you for having the strength to share your raw moments with us. It makes you more personable to be real with us. I love watching these types of videos because it's real life. Please keep making these videos. I wish you the best.
I lost a significant relationship and it took about a year and a half to stop feeling sad periodically. Do: let the feelings flow when they arise. Hand over heart and tell yourself how much you love you. And it’s ok to feel because your heart works so good. Don’t: put timeframes on your grief. Don’t: Be hard on yourself for feeling feelings because it further imbeds that feeling and takes longer to move past it. ❤️ You got this.
I'm thinking you watched your old self and those old suspicions, doubt, feeling of trying so hard, feeling rejection etc. brought your old pains back. I'm so glad you are doing so well & are happy now.
Oh darling it's ok to shed tears and feel sad. I still do, for many different reasons. My favorite Aunt's passing, my darling mom, I miss her awful every Christmas. My dad for teaching me loads of handy tips, and for supporting me with his love. I choose to remember happy moments with my husband, instead of the hurtful ones. And there were so many that hurt. I remember thinking that one day I would just run out of tears...but they just keep coming. Some of the hurt gets lighter, as time goes by. Don't forget to take the time to feel the sadness and grow from it. Hugs and a box of tissues 😊💟🌹🌹🌹
Yay for emotions! I struggle with them too but I keep in mind they remind us we are alive. If we didn’t know sorrow and struggle, we wouldn’t know joy and happiness. Be kind to yourself. You are amazing! Xo
Any time you need to talk we are here and happy to listen! ☺️ Thank you for being so open, honest and REAL!! I know exactly what you mean about watching old videos of yourself and feeling bad for yourself at that time! I have been there! Praying for you! You’re doing amazing! 💛
i truly love how much effort you put into editing your vlogs. it really shows how much effort you put into planning, editing, and posting your vlog. thank you for being authentic.
Thank you so much for continuing to share the realness that comes with everything you're going through. I'm dealing with some hard marriage stuff right now too and seeing you share all of this on your platform really helps me feel less alone. Also, cancelling plans is an excellent form of self care. :)
You have the best family to love and support you during these hard times. Give yourself grace to navigate your new (and eventually much better) reality. You will gain so much strength and self love from this experience. *hugs from Virginia
just don't skip the process of feeling the pain.. it may take awhile,but that too will pass. continue to live each day better than yesterday..you are kind and beautiful . no doubt the world will resonate you in many ways. stay safe.
My boyfriend put those LED strips everywhere in our house 😂 He put some on top of the kitchen counters and underneat them, and we turn them purple to have a party mood when we have people over, it's really nice 😊
What you are experiencing is like a death and I feel like you have to go through all these firsts to truly heal. I’m glad you put yourself first - nothing better than family ❤️
Honey..do not put pressure on yourself to “be over it already”. I was married for 3 years and got divorced in October of 2018. And I still have moments just like this every now and then. And that is totally okay. You do get better and those kinds of feelings happen further apart as time goes on but you are still grieving a life that you thought would be forever. It is OKAY to not be perfectly okay right now. Feel the feelings when they come. Ignoring those feelings or pushing them down will only prolong your healing. But there is no timeframe that you have to reach certain milestones in your grieving. You’re doing amazing. Lots of love
Enough people told you that there's no timeline for grief in various ways, just wanna say that we love you and I very much wanted to give you a hug. Emotions are crazy but what makes us human ❤
Honestly I wasn't "over it" for a long time, and I'm the one who asked for the divorce. It's great that you're pushing yourself a little bit, but don't push yourself to get over it. It just takes time, unfortunately. Love you ❤
Michel, grieving either from a death of a loved one or the death of a marriage is not an easy road. Give yourself the ability to go over the speed bumps in this journey a little slower on the days they are hard to maneuver, Just remember we love you and want the best for you and we can always wait on the other side of that speedbump. God has you wrapped in his arms and will help you through this chapter. Hugs!
"It's like a little lit runway all the way to the toilet" haha! Thank you for your chats on grief, I've been very hard on myself recently and the reminder that it's okay if my healing process looks different from others was needed
Omg. I'm going through a separation/divorce too. Yesterday was a bad day AKA character building day....I cried and stayed in bed. I needed that. Today I'm up and doing things. It's ok to allow ourselves to NOT BE OK! We going through a grieving process!we are growing around our grief. Recovery/grief isnt linear.
I’m going through a grieving from a loss, it’s a process , for like 2 years now and the best way to describe it , is like waves, comes and goes. I feel The same way, when something comes up and reminds me of my grandmother , I keep it to myself and talk to God because I don’t want to talk it over with someone , because I want to control the length of time based on my emotions.
Do not feel bad for any of your feelings. It’s okay to cry and it’s okay to hurt. You have to feel these feelings before you can heal from them. Sending you love. 🥰
I like how you keep things real. Everyone (on my FB page) seemingly has perfect lives. I think it's better for each other if we keep it REAL! So sorry you had to join the big group of divorcees. :( It's so painful.
Yes, Michel has so much strength and bravery to be this real online. Social media can feel like a highlight reel, only the good times, instead of all the times. One of the many reasons we're all loving Michel's content lately
You are such a sweet sweet soul and I love watching your videos. I know sometimes life is hard but you truly are such a light in this world. I sure hope your heart finds the peace you deserve sweet girl!
I have always enjoyed your videos…and I thank you for trusting your channel friends with your heart. I hope to can feel all the love and support we all have for you. I think you have handled this season of your life with dignity and grace. Sending you a hug…sometimes that helps 🤗
You are my favorite youtuber. I love how real you are. Emotional pain I the hardest . Praying for you. We are all here to support you and cheer you on.
When you said, "I love you" at the beginning, I felt that in my heart. 🥺♥️ I'm a new subscriber and have loved your vlogs. You're so real and genuine. 🙂
I just love your thoughtful dad. He cares so deeply for you. ❤️ The shoe shelves were a great idea. Thank you for the honest and vulnerable vlog. I am growing with you. 🥰
You are so brave to be so vulnerable online. I am in a relationship where I feel stuck. There are days I feel not respected or valued, verbally abused and don’t have anyone to talk to about it. Actually, I don’t even feel like talking about these feeling anymore. More power to you!
I think it's great that you recognized you needed to cancel plans to embrace your feelings & go to a safe place (your parents). Also, one tip my Mom gave me years ago about when you go thru a breakup & are feeling sad is to remember why you broke up then you will stop feeling & only going to the so called happy memories. You got this woman! It may not feel like it at times but you do. When I went thru my divorce years ago a customer told me it takes 3 years to get over a divorce...at first I was like he is crazy but he was right! So take your time feel EVERYTHING get it out. Hugs to you!
Just a suggestion: we have a basket that sits on the kitchen counter behind the door that is strictly for tax mail. We bring the basket out in January and everyday when sorting the mail anything that even resembles tax documents goes in that basket. That way we keep envelops for time stamps and we have everything in one place. It makes life sooo much easier!
Michel, don’t rush it. It takes time. And you still are cute. It is perfectly ok to not be ok, sister. Anyone who judges you for what you are going through??? Well all I can say is keep living. I had a break up last Jan 21 that I am still crying over. Give your self LOTS of grace during this time. 🙏🏼 We love you!
Sounds like you’re experiencing very healthy emotions. In the past couple of videos, I was actually concerned that you were trying too hard to be ok or at least to try to make everyone think that you’re ok. So please know you are handling this remarkably well.
You have got to be better to yourself girl. You are grieving a loss. There is no time limit or certain way to grieve. It is different for everyone, like our personalities are all different. My brother passed away at 6 years old from cancer. He has been gone for 25 years, and I still have break downs and cry my eyes out. You are growing, getting stronger, and pushing yourself out of your comfort zone. You are doing great. Allow your self those times to cry, without feeling guilty. We all are rooting for you, and are always here for you!
Grief really does come like waves. Sometimes your in the wave and sometimes your not. Sometimes the wave is small and sometimes it is massive. The ocean is vast. And the waves never end but you learn how to ride the waves so they don’t carry you under anymore. You are processing your sadness so gracefully. Thank you for sharing these real moments. It helps to know I’m not alone💜
Michel, I found myself crying a little when you said "I did this" talking about choosing to go back and watch the video you did. You sounded as though you think you've done something wrong. You haven't! Don't mistake being wrong for being human. It's wonderful that you went a couple of weeks without a sad day. I have come to embrace sad/low days too. Think of it this way..........although we don't want or enjoy going through them, those days give us a very special moment.....if you never "fall" or hit a sad low, you'll never know what it feels like to be embraced and comforted and picked back up. Love during happy days is still good, but it's the love shown on the sad/low days that sticks with us....carries us. So keep looking forward. Keep being human. Keep soaking up that love whenever you have to be picked up and gently dusted off :)
I feel so bad for you. I lost my husband but we all go through the pain of loss.and on top of everything you have to deal with the pain of betrayal. I don't have that but feel guilt that I could not save mine.Death or divorce the loneliness is bad.little things will hit me hard and things I thought would hurt didn't. May God get you through
Thank you for sharing with us. I can’t imagine your strength in putting this out there. I feel the same way ending a long term relationship. It’s been months and I still have days like that - today being one and I get so annoyed with myself for letting it still hurt and make me cry but grief isn’t linear and we deserve grace in these moments to feel what we have to. Hugs to you
You have to take it one step at a time. You will stumble but you need to at times to see where you are at. Don't be too hard on yourself because you need to morn that . Praying for you. 💖
I COMPLETELY get it!!!! I’m the same way. I’ll have a few good days and think it’s behind me and the next second I’ll be crying and so anxious. It makes me wonder if I’ll ever be happy. I would have done the same thing as you…stayed away from questions. Go somewhere i won’t have to fake being happy, or talk for hours about what’s bothering me when what i really need is just to talk, be heard and then carry on. I also usually get out my lavender camomile bath soap, lotion, shampoo and conditioner, candle and a good book and hot tea. Then i snuggle under the covers and soothe myself thru the day. I’m sending you big hugs!!! You truly are doing amazing job of balancing self care and important responsibilities
Michel. Things take time. Two months...such a short time in your life. They aren't joking when they say it takes twice as long to recover as the amount of time you were together. Girl, I've been divorced longer than you've been alive. I don't miss HIM anymore, but I still miss the girl I was back then...and THAT'S who you're grieving. Be gentle on your sweet self. Cancel plans. Take a day off. Do what you need. Don't feel guilty. Do NOT feel guilty. Trust me on this. I'm old. I've seen this SO many times before with people I know and love. Give yourself the grace you deserve. ❤
Honey you are doing great! I know that what you are going through is different from my own experience but after almost ten years I can sometimes experience something about my husband since his passing and it can make me sad or reflective. Don’t beat yourself up it hasn’t been that long and grief has stages and takes times.
You’re stronger than you think. Pain doesn’t have a deadline. Be patient with yourself. It’s so awesome that your parents are close enough and you just jumped in your car and headed over to them! Loss is so hard but you will come out better on the other side of this one. Also, take a set of clothes to your parents and duplicate makeup products so you don’t have to pack next time. Just grab max and go! 💗
Oh Sweets, I had to pause it. I've been with you for a long time now and I've said it before.... You remind me so much of my daughter. What you are grieving is a lifetime of dreams, of potential you saw that you wanted badly for someone else to see. It's probably going to take a bit of time to heal, but look at how far you've come!! I'm so glad you went home because sometimes it's only family that can give you the soft hug of silence and support that somehow puts a bandage on old wounds. There is a magic in the unconditional acceptance that those of us that are very lucky can experience when we go home. It's okay to allow yourself a minute to breathe and catch your breath. Working to heal a broken heart is the most strenuous exercise we experience in this life.💗
It’s grief it comes and goes. Some days are good some days are bad. Feel what you feel without apologize. You are so brave for sharing your feelings with others. You no doubt are helping many. It breaks my heart that you are hurting. You are an amazing young woman. Thank you for being so real.
An update on my Equilibria code! "micheljanse50" lasts through 1/31 at this link: myeq.info/3edN2LO BUT THEN I have a different code starting in February if you are watching this at a later date! "micheljanse" will still get 15% off new orders after our 50% off code expires
I just signed up for the Sleep bundle!! So excited to get it in the mail. I also had previously ordered the Be Token when you had recommended them before but I stopped ordering them. I could see the positive effect CBD had on my stress though so I definitely need to keep it up.
Michel! Thank you so much for the recommendation for Equilibria again! I know you have before, but I finally ordered some since your promo code was alittle higher for stand alone items this time.
An interesting video idea would be for you to compare some of the brands you’ve used. ie BeToken vs. equilibrium, different makeup products you’ve used, Vellabox vs. book club (or another candle subscription box).
Sweet Michel, on days where you feel like you should "be over it already", remember that it took time to develop feelings, decide to get married, and live all those life experiences. Give yourself grace for taking time to end those things as well. Grief of losing a loved one still hits new years later, and ending a relationship can feel that way too. Praying for you and all that you're going through right now. We appreciate your vulnerability 🙏🏼❤️
So true! Sweet Advice!💞
You are so right, thank you for these words🤍
I too went through a divorce and this is the quote that helped me get through it. Thought I’d share it with you. “I would rather adjust my life to your absence, than adjust my boundaries to accommodate your disrespect.” Hang in there. Life does get better.
It’s been just shy of 7 YEARS since my husband left me. To this day, I STILL have moments of related emotions that hit me randomly. They don’t rule my life anymore, thankfully, but they still happen, and they’re hard when they do. Things take time, and there is no specific set amount of time that works for everyone. We are unique, and it’s all in God’s time. Rest in His healing hands and give yourself some grace. 🙏🏻❤️
Michel, PLEASE don’t be so hard on yourself. You are going to grieve for a long time. Maybe not all the time but it takes a while. You had a major loss and lost someone you loved very much. I find myself looking for your blogs everyday and love watching you and seeing how awesome you are doing taking your life back. I am so proud of you! YOU ROCK! 🥰❤️
I've heard grief described as a ball of pain in a box. Every time the ball hits a side of the box, it caused a wave of pain, but over time the box gets bigger and bigger and so the wave of pain comes less and less often, but can still strike without warning.
This is SO helpful to think of it that way🤍
@@MichelJanse ❤️
Hi there. The grieving process is not linear, so don't be so hard on yourself. Love your Vlogs.
So true...
Thank you, Tammy 🤍
Hey Sweet Michel, divorce is a loss...it's OK to say no and cancel. Anyone that knows you and what you have been through will understand that there are good days and bad days. You have a journey you have to get through, and those moments when you need to be with loved ones, or not in the mood for whatever...it is part of the healing process! Take those moments, because you need it!
When you showed the thank you note and the last look at the ring I cried. Going through a divorce myself and trying so hard to stay positive with a broken heart. Thank you for sharing and being so real. I appreciate you 💖 (tears, tears, tears just typing this)
Don’t be hard on yourself. What your going through is like a death. You will grieve, it’s the death of a relationship. Grieving is different for everyone and the time and length are different. No need to apologize for your feelings. You are doing amazing and that’s to be congratulated. Bless you and know you are cared for by so many.
Thanks for showing the “real moments” anyone looking at you would assume you have it altogether with no worries, instead of a human being with your own personal struggles. I think it’s good looking at your past videos, although elicited some sad emotions, you did feel empathetic for yourself at that moment in time. It can only go up from here.
Thank you for allowing me to share the messy moments too. It means a lot🥰
Michel, I have tears in my eyes for you when you made the realization about how hard you were trying back in those old videos. It was apparent to me and probably most that you were giving, giving, giving way more than you received. Although bittersweet, I feel you will continue to soar without that heavy ring burden. Keep being you- I’m loving watching your glow up happening before our eyes!💕
Grief has no time limit! He hurt you deeply it shows…. It’s ok to not to be ok sometimes!!! It’s so fresh for you!! Take care and no worries!!!
Michel, this is off subject. But, I feel like you’ve a straight line to our Father.
And, I need PRAYERS for my Mom! Anyone reading this please pray for her to heal and come home.. this home. I need her, please tell Him I need her!! Thank you!
I’m so happy for your growth, you’re truly doing amazing.
The D word is TOUGH!
My prayers are with you for peace and happiness! You’re on your way and shining through it!
You shouldn't be "over it" you should be whatever you need to feel at that moment in time. You definitely need to put yourself first and real friends will understand that. Glad you're feeling better 😊
Grief isn't a linear process. It's the shedding of expectations and hopes that we have to let go of. Be kind to yourself on the sad days ❤
There's no right or wrong way to be sad. It's okay to be sad. We will ride it out with you so when you feel less sad, we'll still be here for it.
Even if these issues and talks with your ex started a year ago, it doesn’t mean you should be over it already.
You are so young so you spent a good percentage of your life with someone who was a constant. Like you said grief isn’t linear and for some divorce takes years and years and years to start over emotionally. You are okay exactly where you are. Plus you don’t have
To be proud of yourself everyday for
Pushing forward. Some days you should be proud of yourself for getting nothing done and crying all day, it heals the soul. We are all rooting for you!
I haven’t gone through a divorce but for some reason, when you were explaining your feelings about looking at yourself in past vlogs and thought to yourself “I feel for that girl, she’s trying so hard” Omg that hit me. In my own Relationship I can see picture perfect photos and think “It’s so funny how people doesn’t know about the argument that happened 15 minutes before the picture was taken or the tears I shed for X or Y reason just before the picture was taken or the struggles that we were going through at that moment and those miles were pretty much forced”. At the. end of the day I think what matters is your happiness and I’m so glad you have this outlet.
Michel, my 28ryold daughter just broke up with her boyfriend/live-in partner of 5yrs! Processing the grief is hard. Learning how to live on her own is hard. I think you are going to be a great help and resource for her. Thank you, and wishing you both love, happiness and peace. ❤️
I've got you on my prayers list, there is nothing you can't get through. You are equipped with everything you have need of, lean into your faith. ❤️🙏🏽 This Mama is standing with you. 💐🙂🙏🏽 Better days are coming.
Some of us are so lucky to have parents we can always run home to when shit hits the fan ❤️ I forget sometimes so many people don’t have that :/
Amen! I was going to say that - or at least, start with that ...... Because, as you said, dear Mila Rose, "when shit hits the fan", we ALL need that safe space to "run away to" - be it a coffee shop, a certain park (I've had those #rooseveltpark ), or - like in this phase of my life, when both my parents are deceased, and I'm an only child - my dear friend Joanne's.
I’m one of those people. It sucks, we kind of just run to ourselves.
@@jamesfv1 Find your place.
And don't forget.... you lost a relationship, but that loss is the chance to gain relationships and experiences you otherwise would have lost out on! You gained a tremendous amount of life experience and learned alot about yourself and your self worth during your marriage. Now you are a brand new, shinier, smarter Michel!!!! MICHEL 2.0 has alot of new and exciting opportunities waiting for her to get out there and take hold of!!!! Have fun Michel!!!!
So true! I'm 60 & I want to be adopted by them!😂
There is not a time frame for grief. It’s been 13 years this year since my mom decided to choose my abusive step father over me for the final time and I still grieve. I still have moments that the sadness randomly creeps up on me. I know you know these things but hopefully you can come back to these comments when you get in that mindset and remind yourself to give yourself grace. Thank you for showing us the raw moments. I am so glad you have your family and a community. When I was going through my loss I didn’t have anyone, especially not family, and it was exceptionally difficult.
I'm so proud of you!
You did so many big things in this vlog!
I've been going through a rough time lately with my mental health and seeing you persevere has really helped me. Seeing your struggle but also your determination had helped so much. I cleaned out my fridge today. I did the dishes. I reorganized my pantry. I went grocery shopping and meal prepped for the week. And I reorganized my cabinets.
Thank you
I’ve never actually been moved to tears by watching anyone else on RUclips talk about their feelings. But watching you in this video made me cry. I completely understand what you were saying when you felt bad for yourself for trying so hard. I’m praying for you, I just know you’re going to get better. It takes a year or two, but from what I see in your videos, you’re already so far ahead of where most would be.
Michel, I am much older than you but have enjoyed discovering your channel in recent weeks. I have never divorced (marr. 52 yrs. this year) but many years ago I had the worst loss anyone can imagine...I lost my 9 yr. old daughter. I tell you this to say that you should never feel guilty for having "sad" or "bad" days. None of us can be strong every day. Even after 35 yrs. I still have sad times. Give yourself permission to cry or cancel plans or whatever you need. You are doing wonderfully in my opinion....you are growing each and every day. You have so much learning, loving, growing, experiencing, and so much more ahead of you....grab hold and let God steer the way! You've got this....even on the bad/sad days.
I’m so sorry for your loss. As a parent myself, I can’t even imagine that level of pain & hurts to even try. I pray for continued healing for you and your family.
@@Raven-uh5pl Thank you so much. I appreciate your thoughtfulness
I want to say thank you! Your vlogs really help me during my break up with fiancé and learn to live alone. Thank you so much ❤️
So much love your way, friend 🤍
My heart aches for you, and what you're going through. We are all following your journey, through the good times and bad. Whilst it is uplifting to see the days like that strong, positive day you had, I completely understand that it's not realistic to expect you to be happy every day.
Love you Ele, thank you for being such a great friend 🤍
Sending you all the love girl! Don't be so hard on yourself! You are grieving and that will come in waves but give yourself grace! You gave your whole heart to someone and it takes time for it to heal
After every vlog you share I always just want to tell you that I’m so proud of you. It’s a weird world where I genuinely care about a person whom I only know off the internet but I admire you and wholeheartedly enjoy all the time you share with your followers! Cheers to you Michel and may our good God continue to bless you and comfort you in this season❤️
This made my heart swell. So thankful for you🤍
Yea another vlog from my favorite RUclipsr I hope ur doing well
I was in a 13 year relationship that I left back in 2017. I'd been with him since I was 17 and left when I was 30. It was a worst case scenario by the end, and I had to leave in a way I never ever wanted to do to another person, and just completely blindside them and disappear.
I can't fully describe what I went through inside afterwards. I was dying. I was dying on what felt like a cellular level. I tried SO so so hard to make that relationship work, and at the end of it all, realized I was, and had been, the only one trying. And after I left he blamed me. To everyone he talked to he blamed me. And even though I knew beforehand he would, that expectation didn't change the depth of the guilt and shame and betrayal and pure heartbreak I went through. And literally thousands of times the first 3 years after leaving I'd be overwhelmed by negative emotions of one kind or another, out of nowhere. I pulled over into parking lots dozens of times because I'd be driving and suddenly start sobbing so hard I couldn't see or control the full body shaking. I'd wake myself up from crying so hard in my sleep. I'd be eating and suddenly be crying so hard I threw up what I'd just swallowed a half second before. For 2 straight years I'd cry every time I worked out. Every. Single. Time. And I worked out a lot because for 2 decades that had been my biggest form of self care and stress relief.
I started out having 1 day that I'd feel ok. Then 10 in a row where I felt like my body was physically dying with me inside it. Then it was 2 OK days and 10 bad ones. 2 years in I'd have 1 GREAT day where I recognized myself and felt amazing. And 5-8 where even eating 1 meal would take hours because I was so completely drained from that 1 day.
It's been 4 years now. I have a week or 2 of good days with 1-3 great days somewhere in there.... and a week of how do I even make myself function days. I still have extremely detailed and vivid dreams of the past, or alternate realities of the future, what maybe it would have been if I had stayed. I can't tell you how hard and disturbing those dreams are.
I swear the change and the progress I could see those first 2 years was as close to zero as you could get without bring zero. BUT, the last 2 years it's been slowly speeding up. I've made more internal progress towards reconnecting with who I am and who I would have been, in the last 6 months that the 3.5 years before that. I think the speed is going to increase more over time.
One day I'll just BE me again, instead of borrowing her for short time intervals then loosing her because my brain is too exhausted.
Recovery is so far away from a straight line. It's so far away from what we expect it to be, even when we think we have realistic expectations.
I think you're doing well. Those times where you fall back into that quicksand ARE hard, they ARE sudden, they ARE unexpected. And it's so deeply unsatisfying to know its going to be like that even if you do everything in you're Recovery "right".
But you're still getting there. Even the bad days back in the quicksand are still getting you there. Even when they feel like it's the opposite. 💜
So happy you are able to visit your parents when needed. "I should be over it by now" is what I kept saying months after I had a miscarriage in 2019. I happened upon a sign where I worked and it said something along the lines of "grief has no expiration date/time limit." Of course I started bawling my eyes out. It's probably going to take long than you expected. Praying over you.
Thank you for having the strength to share your raw moments with us. It makes you more personable to be real with us. I love watching these types of videos because it's real life. Please keep making these videos. I wish you the best.
I lost a significant relationship and it took about a year and a half to stop feeling sad periodically.
Do: let the feelings flow when they arise. Hand over heart and tell yourself how much you love you. And it’s ok to feel because your heart works so good. Don’t: put timeframes on your grief. Don’t: Be hard on yourself for feeling feelings because it further imbeds that feeling and takes longer to move past it. ❤️
You got this.
I'm thinking you watched your old self and those old suspicions, doubt, feeling of trying so hard, feeling rejection etc. brought your old pains back. I'm so glad you are doing so well & are happy now.
It takes a long time to grieve the loss of what you had. You're crushing it-- give yourself some grace and do what you need to for you.
Oh darling it's ok to shed tears and feel sad. I still do, for many different reasons. My favorite Aunt's passing, my darling mom, I miss her awful every Christmas. My dad for teaching me loads of handy tips, and for supporting me with his love. I choose to remember happy moments with my husband, instead of the hurtful ones. And there were so many that hurt. I remember thinking that one day I would just run out of tears...but they just keep coming. Some of the hurt gets lighter, as time goes by. Don't forget to take the time to feel the sadness and grow from it. Hugs and a box of tissues 😊💟🌹🌹🌹
You're always cute, Michel! Through rain and shine, your smile remains so bright ☀️
Yay for emotions! I struggle with them too but I keep in mind they remind us we are alive. If we didn’t know sorrow and struggle, we wouldn’t know joy and happiness. Be kind to yourself. You are amazing! Xo
Any time you need to talk we are here and happy to listen! ☺️ Thank you for being so open, honest and REAL!! I know exactly what you mean about watching old videos of yourself and feeling bad for yourself at that time! I have been there! Praying for you! You’re doing amazing! 💛
i truly love how much effort you put into editing your vlogs. it really shows how much effort you put into planning, editing, and posting your vlog. thank you for being authentic.
Thank you so much for continuing to share the realness that comes with everything you're going through. I'm dealing with some hard marriage stuff right now too and seeing you share all of this on your platform really helps me feel less alone. Also, cancelling plans is an excellent form of self care. :)
You have the best family to love and support you during these hard times. Give yourself grace to navigate your new (and eventually much better) reality. You will gain so much strength and self love from this experience. *hugs from Virginia
Grief is never linear and will always surprise you. It is the nature of the beast. You are perfectly on time.
Yes, this!
So glad that you live near your parents & are able to get some rest with them 💕
just don't skip the process of feeling the pain.. it may take awhile,but that too will pass. continue to live each day better than yesterday..you are kind and beautiful . no doubt the world will resonate you in many ways. stay safe.
You have so much self awareness and it is so beautiful to witness you move through this. Thank you for sharing your journey! ❤
Thank you for being here on the journey with me🤍
My boyfriend put those LED strips everywhere in our house 😂 He put some on top of the kitchen counters and underneat them, and we turn them purple to have a party mood when we have people over, it's really nice 😊
What you are experiencing is like a death and I feel like you have to go through all these firsts to truly heal. I’m glad you put yourself first - nothing better than family ❤️
Honey..do not put pressure on yourself to “be over it already”. I was married for 3 years and got divorced in October of 2018. And I still have moments just like this every now and then. And that is totally okay. You do get better and those kinds of feelings happen further apart as time goes on but you are still grieving a life that you thought would be forever. It is OKAY to not be perfectly okay right now. Feel the feelings when they come. Ignoring those feelings or pushing them down will only prolong your healing. But there is no timeframe that you have to reach certain milestones in your grieving. You’re doing amazing. Lots of love
Enough people told you that there's no timeline for grief in various ways, just wanna say that we love you and I very much wanted to give you a hug. Emotions are crazy but what makes us human ❤
Awweeee bless you… I like the “hi friends, how are you”
🥂 to brighter days. I’ll probably steal the hi friends for my intro on my videos 😅🤍
I was just thinking that I really wished Michel had a new video out and there it was!
Me too.
I was binge watching and realized a new video came out yay! Michel the next chapter is going to be the best chapter in your life Promise!!
@@annequeen9926 Yes! I just know she's building her way to bigger and better things from here!
It's been 10 years for me sweetie and I still have bad days. You will always be healing and growing sweetie don't be hard on yourself!!
Honestly I wasn't "over it" for a long time, and I'm the one who asked for the divorce. It's great that you're pushing yourself a little bit, but don't push yourself to get over it. It just takes time, unfortunately. Love you ❤
Thank you friend, love you most 🤍
Michel, grieving either from a death of a loved one or the death of a marriage is not an easy road. Give yourself the ability to go over the speed bumps in this journey a little slower on the days they are hard to maneuver, Just remember we love you and want the best for you and we can always wait on the other side of that speedbump. God has you wrapped in his arms and will help you through this chapter. Hugs!
"It's like a little lit runway all the way to the toilet" haha! Thank you for your chats on grief, I've been very hard on myself recently and the reminder that it's okay if my healing process looks different from others was needed
Omg. I'm going through a separation/divorce too. Yesterday was a bad day AKA character building day....I cried and stayed in bed. I needed that. Today I'm up and doing things. It's ok to allow ourselves to NOT BE OK! We going through a grieving process!we are growing around our grief. Recovery/grief isnt linear.
I’m going through a grieving from a loss, it’s a process , for like 2 years now and the best way to describe it , is like waves, comes and goes. I feel The same way, when something comes up and reminds me of my grandmother , I keep it to myself and talk to God because I don’t want to talk it over with someone , because I want to control the length of time based on my emotions.
Do not feel bad for any of your feelings. It’s okay to cry and it’s okay to hurt. You have to feel these feelings before you can heal from them. Sending you love. 🥰
I like how you keep things real. Everyone (on my FB page) seemingly has perfect lives. I think it's better for each other if we keep it REAL! So sorry you had to join the big group of divorcees. :( It's so painful.
Yes, Michel has so much strength and bravery to be this real online. Social media can feel like a highlight reel, only the good times, instead of all the times. One of the many reasons we're all loving Michel's content lately
Love you both so much 🥺
You are such a sweet sweet soul and I love watching your videos. I know sometimes life is hard but you truly are such a light in this world. I sure hope your heart finds the peace you deserve sweet girl!
I have always enjoyed your videos…and I thank you for trusting your channel friends with your heart. I hope to can feel all the love and support we all have for you. I think you have handled this season of your life with dignity and grace. Sending you a hug…sometimes that helps 🤗
We are going to DIY your lighting for the bathroom… think it looks so cool… and beats a nightlight!!! Thank you for sharing the tip!!!😍
you have easily become my new favorite comfort youtuber. I love your vlogs!! 🤍
I really love your car chats, feels like I'm chatting with a friend 😊
You are my favorite youtuber. I love how real you are. Emotional pain I the hardest . Praying for you. We are all here to support you and cheer you on.
When you said, "I love you" at the beginning, I felt that in my heart. 🥺♥️ I'm a new subscriber and have loved your vlogs. You're so real and genuine. 🙂
I just love your thoughtful dad. He cares so deeply for you. ❤️ The shoe shelves were a great idea. Thank you for the honest and vulnerable vlog. I am growing with you. 🥰
You are so brave to be so vulnerable online. I am in a relationship where I feel stuck. There are days I feel not respected or valued, verbally abused and don’t have anyone to talk to about it.
Actually, I don’t even feel like talking about these feeling anymore.
More power to you!
I think it's great that you recognized you needed to cancel plans to embrace your feelings & go to a safe place (your parents). Also, one tip my Mom gave me years ago about when you go thru a breakup & are feeling sad is to remember why you broke up then you will stop feeling & only going to the so called happy memories. You got this woman! It may not feel like it at times but you do. When I went thru my divorce years ago a customer told me it takes 3 years to get over a divorce...at first I was like he is crazy but he was right! So take your time feel EVERYTHING get it out. Hugs to you!
Just a suggestion: we have a basket that sits on the kitchen counter behind the door that is strictly for tax mail. We bring the basket out in January and everyday when sorting the mail anything that even resembles tax documents goes in that basket. That way we keep envelops for time stamps and we have everything in one place. It makes life sooo much easier!
Michel, don’t rush it. It takes time. And you still are cute.
It is perfectly ok to not be ok, sister. Anyone who judges you for what you are going through??? Well all I can say is keep living. I had a break up last Jan 21 that I am still crying over. Give your self LOTS of grace during this time. 🙏🏼
We love you!
I’ve never clicked a RUclips notification faster ♥️
You are the sweetest and kindest person ever.
Sounds like you’re experiencing very healthy emotions. In the past couple of videos, I was actually concerned that you were trying too hard to be ok or at least to try to make everyone think that you’re ok. So please know you are handling this remarkably well.
Thank you for saying this 🤍
Love the bathroom light hack! I just have a cheap plug in night light and it is not cute at all. Keeping that DIY trick in mind for the future!!
You have got to be better to yourself girl. You are grieving a loss. There is no time limit or certain way to grieve. It is different for everyone, like our personalities are all different. My brother passed away at 6 years old from cancer. He has been gone for 25 years, and I still have break downs and cry my eyes out. You are growing, getting stronger, and pushing yourself out of your comfort zone. You are doing great. Allow your self those times to cry, without feeling guilty. We all are rooting for you, and are always here for you!
Grief really does come like waves. Sometimes your in the wave and sometimes your not. Sometimes the wave is small and sometimes it is massive. The ocean is vast. And the waves never end but you learn how to ride the waves so they don’t carry you under anymore.
You are processing your sadness so gracefully. Thank you for sharing these real moments. It helps to know I’m not alone💜
So glad you are close to family it is very important
Michel, I found myself crying a little when you said "I did this" talking about choosing to go back and watch the video you did. You sounded as though you think you've done something wrong. You haven't! Don't mistake being wrong for being human. It's wonderful that you went a couple of weeks without a sad day. I have come to embrace sad/low days too. Think of it this way..........although we don't want or enjoy going through them, those days give us a very special moment.....if you never "fall" or hit a sad low, you'll never know what it feels like to be embraced and comforted and picked back up. Love during happy days is still good, but it's the love shown on the sad/low days that sticks with us....carries us.
So keep looking forward. Keep being human. Keep soaking up that love whenever you have to be picked up and gently dusted off :)
Aw you still looked cute, even with being upset. Praying for you over here in Scotland. Thanks for being so brave in your openness. We are with you.
Wow, huge deal parting with the ring. Well done! Embrace what’s good in the present and your future with one less thing tethering you to a regret.
💜❤💜 you're doing so much better at feeling feelings, I wish I could be as good as you
You'll heal. 🙏
I feel so bad for you. I lost my husband but we all go through the pain of loss.and on top of everything you have to deal with the pain of betrayal. I don't have that but feel guilt that I could not save mine.Death or divorce the loneliness is bad.little things will hit me hard and things I thought would hurt didn't. May God get you through
Praying for you Michel! You are so strong and don't be hard on yourself. You are truly so courageous.
another hurdle over for you, well done Michel, just keep on being real and honest with your followers. xxxx
i love u michel 🥺 getting over sadness after a breakup took me almost two years but i truly hope that u'll heal sooner 💔🌼
Thank you for sharing with us. I can’t imagine your strength in putting this out there. I feel the same way ending a long term relationship. It’s been months and I still have days like that - today being one and I get so annoyed with myself for letting it still hurt and make me cry but grief isn’t linear and we deserve grace in these moments to feel what we have to. Hugs to you
Hugs right back at you too, friend 🤍
Oh Michel, don't be so hard on yourself. Sending hugs from France. Also, I have been enjoying the 'new' and flourishing Michel vlogs.
I appreciate how open you are because I know it could be hard doing that.
You have to take it one step at a time. You will stumble but you need to at times to see where you are at. Don't be too hard on yourself because you need to morn that .
Praying for you. 💖
Thank you for being yourself with us
I COMPLETELY get it!!!! I’m the same way. I’ll have a few good days and think it’s behind me and the next second I’ll be crying and so anxious. It makes me wonder if I’ll ever be happy. I would have done the same thing as you…stayed away from questions. Go somewhere i won’t have to fake being happy, or talk for hours about what’s bothering me when what i really need is just to talk, be heard and then carry on. I also usually get out my lavender camomile bath soap, lotion, shampoo and conditioner, candle and a good book and hot tea. Then i snuggle under the covers and soothe myself thru the day. I’m sending you big hugs!!! You truly are doing amazing job of balancing self care and important responsibilities
Michel. Things take time. Two months...such a short time in your life. They aren't joking when they say it takes twice as long to recover as the amount of time you were together. Girl, I've been divorced longer than you've been alive. I don't miss HIM anymore, but I still miss the girl I was back then...and THAT'S who you're grieving. Be gentle on your sweet self. Cancel plans. Take a day off. Do what you need. Don't feel guilty. Do NOT feel guilty. Trust me on this. I'm old. I've seen this SO many times before with people I know and love. Give yourself the grace you deserve. ❤
Honey you are doing great! I know that what you are going through is different from my own experience but after almost ten years I can sometimes experience something about my husband since his passing and it can make me sad or reflective. Don’t beat yourself up it hasn’t been that long and grief has stages and takes times.
You’re stronger than you think. Pain doesn’t have a deadline. Be patient with yourself. It’s so awesome that your parents are close enough and you just jumped in your car and headed over to them! Loss is so hard but you will come out better on the other side of this one.
Also, take a set of clothes to your parents and duplicate makeup products so you don’t have to pack next time. Just grab max and go! 💗
Oh Sweets, I had to pause it. I've been with you for a long time now and I've said it before.... You remind me so much of my daughter. What you are grieving is a lifetime of dreams, of potential you saw that you wanted badly for someone else to see. It's probably going to take a bit of time to heal, but look at how far you've come!! I'm so glad you went home because sometimes it's only family that can give you the soft hug of silence and support that somehow puts a bandage on old wounds. There is a magic in the unconditional acceptance that those of us that are very lucky can experience when we go home. It's okay to allow yourself a minute to breathe and catch your breath. Working to heal a broken heart is the most strenuous exercise we experience in this life.💗
It’s grief it comes and goes. Some days are good some days are bad. Feel what you feel without apologize. You are so brave for sharing your feelings with others. You no doubt are helping many. It breaks my heart that you are hurting. You are an amazing young woman. Thank you for being so real.