I deliberately searched this topic, bc It is so hard. I have stuff left over from my parents that they had both collected together since the 1960s or so. I'm slowly selling or just trashing most of it, of course I cannot bring myself to get rid of any photographs yet.
🙋sentimental hoarder here... I haven't finished decluttering but here's my biggest tip for everyone! - If you simply take a picture of the item you're struggling to part with, vowing to put all the pics in 1 sentimental cloud folder, it will be remarkably easier to toss it!! Good luck! 💜
I’m in the same situation, and taking a photo is the only thing that helps me. Otherwise its impossible for me to toss it. The strangest thing is that when I look at the photos a couple years later I feel nothing, and often even delete the photos. Time heals old wounds. The first step is the hardest.
I tried this but it didn’t help me. In the end i have found other ways to cope- ablot of the stuff i don’t really think about but when i see it it brings memories and i cant part with it. Mso stuff i logically know i don’t need or really want i chuck in a box, especially if its got practical use for someone else then after like 6 months i dont open the box i just put to charity. Also newer stuff im trying to get rid of much quicker- once i dont need or use it i get rid of it but old stuff i cant do this with 😖
The idea of taking a photo is what helped me actively start my decluttering journey and it has helped me ever since, now I am less emotional when letting go, that’s also coz most of the emotional stuff are gone already but also letting go is a lot easier now as I am not so attached to things anymore. And whenever that dilemma comes up of letting go of something that is of no use to me but I want to hang on to it.. taking a picture of it always always and always comes in as a saviour. Just as they say….. Less is always more !!!!😊
First, let me apologize, this is going to be long. Thank you so much for sharing your story, Marissa. My condolences to you on the deep losses that you've experienced. I understand your pain, and I thank you so much for your openness. I have suffered very similar losses, and I found a great deal of comfort from your video. My mom died while I was pregnant with my first child. My dad died in 2014 and my sister a mere 18 months later. After liquidating the contents of their home, my house has been bursting at the seams with things that I just couldn't bring myself to part with. Everything I touched felt like a treasured memory too important to toss. I had already suffered so much loss, and letting go of their possessions felt like I was purposely getting rid of every last memory of them. I spend so much time and energy finding room to display all of their "stuff", as if to memorialize my lost loved ones somehow. Plus, the stuff I can't display is taking up an entire room in my home. I've begun to feel like the house is swallowing me whole, so I made the more logical/less emotional decision to part with some (most) of the items, and although I'm making headway, I'm still having a hard time saying goodbye. Your story has empowered me to see these possessions in a whole new way. They aren't bringing me any closer to the family that I lost, they are just keeping me from getting closer to the family that I still have; my kids, my husband, my grandkids, and my friends. I realize now that letting go of most of these items won't make me die from sadness, but holding onto them could. You have my deepest gratitude for opening my eyes to this.
Comments like yours are the reason I do this! I am also so, so very sorry for your losses - sounds like you had a lot to process in a very short amount of time as well. Just remember: - Every goodbye is also a new hello. - To stay focused on having the life you WANT instead of wanting the life you HAD. Big hugs and stay in touch, Gail! ❤️
Sooooo true! "Getting rid of them won't make me die, but holding onto them could." I have kept stuff from my family -- all gone now -- and it's time to let them go. Thank you for sharing your experience. It is an encouragement to me to keep going at this.
Thanks for this ... I'm moving out of my house and downsizing after the death of my husband of 35 years ... moving from 3800 square feet to 1600 square feet ... purging, purging, purging.
I AM giving biig hug to you to. This is life, but smaller house think about easy clean, you don't need to much items, clutter. Don't take to much. Only take care yourself. More time for yourself. Clean house clean mind. Darling don't forget! you are not only one.... Love you🙏 💖😘
So sorry you lost your husband. I hope you are doing okay. I wish you the best. My dad passed away 10-10-2020. Getting rid of his things and personal items has made me so sad.
I found this video a year after it was posted, but wow, first & only person who I really really relate to with the grief & loss causing emotional hoarding. I have been feeling like a complete failure trying to declutter, downsize on my own, my health has deteriorated I think in part by trying to address all the issues thank you, I will be rewatching as often as I need to
I’m glad that you found me, and wishing you success and healing on your journey! You might also find this video that I shared more tips on sentimental clutter and how I would hold all of it down to a single memory box helpful: ruclips.net/video/QKwR9fw5qN0/видео.html Take care!
I have decluttered SO MUCH over the last few years. I’ve moved twice, the most recent one being moving halfway across the country with only what fit in my car, so I had to declutter A LOT. I still have “sentimental” items that I’ve carried with me through all seven moves in my life. I’m divorced and starting a new life now, and those items are really starting to weigh on me. The items are all my items, from my youth (toys, jewelry, artwork, etc…) they don’t make me happy, but they remind me of a point in my life when I still had hope for a happy future. Currently, they only make me sad every time I see them. I’m not sure what to do. It’s just a small box, about shoe box size. Part of me wants desperately to get rid of EVERYTHING and just start fresh, but I think I may regret getting rid of those things at some point. 🥺
Girl, I'm choked up watching this. I lost my father and mother and aunt in a span of a few years, when I was in my 30's. I'm an only child. Needless to say my basement is full of stuff that needs to be decluttered. Thank you for sharing your story. You inspire me. ❤
Thank you a million times (one for each of the items in my parents house of 70 years!) I had reached a wall in my cleanout efforts and felt I'd never be able to continue. I searched and found this video and when you cried about how hard it was for you to let go, the barrier broke and I was ready to face the project again. I'll be forever grateful.
I am so glad I found your channel. Been dealing with this and it is the hardest thing. Thank you for being raw, vulnerable and authentic! The world needs more of this!
Christmas of 2019 I got 2 photo albums from my Grandmother. These albums consisted from the time I was born until I graduated from high school. I'm 32 now. Originally she was going to give it to me when I got married. She had an album for all of us grandkids. As of this writing I'm not married plus my grandmother is getting older. She said "I wanted to give this to you while I am still here". I've been decluttering a lot the last few years, but this is an item I gladly accept and add into my life.
Comment below I CAN DO THIS!!! If I could sort through 30 years of emotional trauma and grief hoarding, YOU CAN TOO. Believe it, from the bottom of your heart. ❤️
I did this I had given my mom a wedding band cause she didn't have one we got a pair one for her and one for me I gave them to my sister both of them I just kept the one I had asked her for which was her dad's wedding band I just couldn't keep something I had gifted to her . May all of our parents that are resting, May they rest in peace
Um, stalked your RUclips channel and LIKEWISE...do you live in Taipei? I used to live in Shanghai (husband is Chinese) and have always want to visit T. Gonna go follow you on IG too. 😂
@@AtoZenLife Wow, I feel so humbled you took the time to check out my youtube AND my IG! (I followed back, by the way). I used to live in both China and Taiwan. I went to school in Tianjin and had worked teaching English in Shanghai, and then spent 1 year living in Taichung (it's a city south of Taipei). Such a small world! ^_^ I loved living in Shanghai, even though it was a more expensive city, it was still cheaper than Toronto lol
@@mignoncobra Really nice to “meet” you and I really like your “cute” brand name. 😁 I also studied French in high school, but have forgotten it all, bien sur. My Mandarin has been slipping for years now, and I have to learn German. Oi oi. 😩 The world is really so small, it’s crazy. Cya around! ✌️
@@AtoZenLife I'm happy to have met you as well! Thank you for the lovely compliment, it means alot to me, I took a long time thinking up a "clever" youtube name haha. I also studied French too but I've forgotten alot. I think that's amazing that you're picking up German too! I studied German in high school and I have to say, I found it harder to Chinese lol So good luck!
A friend of mine (who happens to be a minimalist) offered some really good advice. She said "you don't need to hold on to other people's memories". My parents (and grandparents) all passed before I was 30. I'm staring down 50 now and I think I'm finally ready to start letting go. Thank you for this video, I think it's what I needed to really kickstart my sentimental de-hoarding. Wish me luck, this could take a while....
I have diagnosed OCD and I was basically a memory hoarder. ): I’ve been on my minimalist journey since 2016. It’s been great. We are even debt free except our house. BUT, I have such a hard time getting rid of my kids’ toys and clothes. One is 16, the other four. I know it’s because I’m really sad about them growing up.
Marissa I'm Sorry for your family losses - you are an incredibly strong & inspiring amazing lady thank you so much For me This is THE video to watch have tried to watch other ones this de cluttering one made sense it's from the heart and soul and is helping me to find my peace & a clear logical pAth to clearing my life I can't believe how I got here I think was lockdown and loneliness but this video is GOLD thank you so so much 💕 thankyou for this video you are helping so many people 🌸🌺💕
I'm so glad I found you! I am 67, and do have alot to declutter, and emotionally "unload." I can't keep moving stuff around. There are better things to do with my time. And, I'm at a point where I'm motivated by needing the money. I especially appreciate the comment about how little time we have to grieve. A mistake I made, was taking a new job, commuting, and working overtime shortly after my mother passed. I had little time to go through my mother's things/house, and the estate attorney was pushing me to close it. So, it was easier, especially emotionally, to pack it and store it. My husband has the same problem as far as keeping things. I think that comes from both of us either losing our homes, or not having things when we were younger. Somehow, having stuff might also give you a feeling of being financially secure. I do LOVE collecting old things just because of quality, workmanship and rarity. BUT I can't keep it all, and can keep it in my head that it's time for others to appreciate it. I'm sure I will have to watch your video a few more times to get through this, but it's time to do it. Plus, a few of my minimalist friends will get off my rear about it. It's just that I'm a deep empath. There's alot of "baggage" there, for me to unload.🤗 [I appreciate the diary/memo ideas. That helps alot.❤]
Thank you for this video! I've always been a sentimental hoarder, same as my mother was. I lost her recently and my dad several years ago. So many things I have from childhood and that belonged to them, and I know I need to downsize a lot but finding it so hard, especially as I don't have a family of my own. I've done lots of searches on videos about downsizing sentimental stuff, but this is the first time your channel has come up 💜
I come from a family of keepers, and I was juuuuust arriving at a point where getting rid of things sounded better than continued accumulation when my mother died unexpectedly. I know how lucky I am to have had her for so long, but it's still soooo hard to get rid of things. From the half a can of olives in tupperware she gave me that my husband finally threw away (thank God, cuz I couldn't do it) to the take-out menus (kept a couple for restaurants that I actually thought I might eat at and finally recycled the rest) to the lamp that I always thought was hideous, but I think my grandfather made it. Two 10x15' storage units full of stuff that I wasn't ready to part with. Some of it I'm sure I don't want, but I haven't gotten around to selling it or whatever. Maybe next year. My aunt helped me go through the house...some days her helping helped, and some days it drove me crazy to be asked what to do with B when I was trying to figure out what to do with A. Thankfully, she was persistent and understanding. I appreciate you sharing your experience and tips, and I'm sorry that you lost so many important people so young in life. Thank you for turning something so difficult for you into something so helpful to so many.
I’m so sorry that you had to go through this, sometimes it seems like just when you start to be hitting stride or making progress life hits you with another curveball! I know exactly how that feels, and I’m sending you lots of hugs and positive energy from Germany. ✨🤗✨
Oh my god I thought I was the only one when it comes to food items that we store. When I lost my mom, I couldn’t throw away the last meal she cooked (she refrigerated the leftovers) nor some prawns she had specifically bought for me that were in the freezer and so much more. I couldn’t throw them away until one day 2 years later, when I wasn’t home, power went out for several days and I came home to everything in my fridge rotting. I threw away 4 large bags of stuff. If that didn’t happen, I wouldn’t have been able to get rid of it. Aspects like this are never talked about, some people seem to be able to move on so effortlessly when it comes to material things 🥺
when throwing sentimental things away I draw them in my notebook. These drawings mean more than the original item because it comes from me and is full of feeling and observation- I don't always draw the whole thing but rather some lines that I like.
@@AtoZenLife you don't need to be talented- just draw the lines you see. I've got a sketch of my dad sat in his chair which looks nothing like him but the lines that I have drawn show something of him.
Thanks for sharing. My grandmother gave my wife a blanket for my soon to be born daughter at her baby shower..... 11 years after she passed away. It’s an awestruck mixture of joy and sadness.
I can relate to this so much. I also have horrible memory loss (i think my brain shut down due to chaos in early life) and my fear of forgetting those I loved so much, is one huge challenge I face. I also had a storage unit sold with some of my most cherished items. I lost my father at a very early age and also feel like I learn about him as I go through things. Im a 3rd generational hoarder, I guess you could say and literally have boxes from when people died and their entire life was boxed up , piled in my garage.. im rambling but just wanted to get it out. I hope I can get over this, it weighs me down all the time and I just feel frozen.
Thank you for sharing your journey and experiences. I also have struggled to let go of things and had to stop using things to make me feel happy. I'm at the point of decluttering easier items, like tools, and have had good results with clothing. I have many bins of items my parents chose to keep that represent decades of bad feelings and delayed decisions. I appreciate the advice you've shared about handling feelings and making decisions. I'm glad you've freed yourself.
I took your advice and started decluttering my least sentimental stuff first such as bedding, pillow covers and curtains etc. It’s all going to the local dog charity. Took me all morning pretty much, what I need to keep for my own needs is tiny. Just shows. My next job is clearing out unneeded kitchen utensils, so very pleased with my progress so far. I’m leaving my late wife’s stuff until last, if I can part with any of it at all remains to be seen. A work in progress.
I didn’t know I was a sentimental hoarder till now. But I am. My family started to disintergrate when I was 12-14 years old. So everything before that, that I still have is precious. I still have my family but I’m the only member who speaks to all the other members. Thank you. X 🇬🇧
Wow! What a powerful video. I am decluttering sentimental stuff..and the memories attached the these things are powerful. Throwing them away is like cutting up a piece of yourself. It hurts that much. The emotions and memories are so imprinted as if it happened yesterday. What's really hard is stuff from your children...your parents..friends who have passed. When you cried..I could relate. Seeing you share something so personal, made me not feel so alone. Thank you. You helped..a lot.
Thank you for this video. I love how you started with your grandma’s quilt and used that to compare everything else to. Sure would put other things in perspective!
What a wonderful video. That’s exactly how I feel. I have to get a huge number of sentimental items out of my life, mainly because they don’t mean the same to my adult children… only to me. Some do, but most do not. For example, my mother's beautiful carved Chinese camphor wood glory box which she bought in 1938 just before she got married. I can’t believe I still have it after many moves in Australia and overseas. That’s only one item out of scores of items, and there’s a lovely story to every one of those things. Before I die, I am going to have to dispose of so much that nobody else wants, or has an attachment to. There’s no way I can expect my daughter to deal with it all. So, I decided to take photos of each item, and write the story behind each one. I am going to make it into a book, and that way, the memories will remain but not clutter up my life, or the lives of my children. Then I will sell or donate the "stuff". I know it will free me up, but it will be hard as I am very sentimental. I miss my lost loved ones terribly, but it’s unhelpful emotional attachment and probably not healthy. Life must go on…
The quilt is lovely. Thank you for sharing. Part of my minimalism includes sewing. This is shocking to some, but like your grandmother, I gift a lot of projects. And I only have fabric for one item at a time, same as buying a clothing piece in the store, but with far more meaning, and less consumerism.
I feel this video so much 😢💔, my mum has been diagnosed with dementia due to her condition getting really bad my dad has decided to sell the family home they have lived in for 45 years and down size to a bungalow. Every loved one we have lost my mum and dad have held onto everything, it is so difficult to sort through.your videos are so refreshing and helpful to know your never alone on a journey like this 🥲
It's weird that you brought up a quilt. I'm a crocheter and I recently realized I don't have something in my memory box (I condensed my memories of my grandparents in a cigar box) for my Oma. I found a large afghan I made with her, and unraveled it until it got small enough to fit in the box. It had been sitting, gathering dust, for about 25 years, so it seemed fitting.
The issue with my hoarding is that I feel I can't replace anything especially due to my childhood but watching this video has really changed my mind I feel everything I have to hold onto when it's not even a reason to keep it , I think I definitely need to be kinder to myself and process the fact I don't need all this stuff this is a wonderful video
I feel like there are two ways people react after experiencing this level of emotional trauma. 1. They become serious hoarders or substance abusers (drugs, alcohol, food, etc), or 2. They find it in their souls to let go. I don’t know how I’d react to so much loss.
Never heard of sentimental clutter, but realize now that is something I struggle with. I needed to hear this, thanks. My mother passed away recently and I am having the hardest time cleaning out her house. I know where I got it from, she saved every card every family member had ever given her. I ended up reading a lot of them and I can’t even bring myself to throw them away. Crazy! She was very organized though, we never knew she had so many of them. There are other things she saved that I know were sentimental too. I am worse though. I have a lot of just because items. I am going to try your method. I can do this!
I lost my mother when I was 16, and as a 16-year-old tasked with clearing out an apartment I shared with my mom, I boxed up EVERYTHING (and I mean everything), put it in my dad’s basement, and haven’t gone through it since. Unfortunately, my father passed away a few months ago, so I am now tasked with going through these boxes I haven’t gone through in 17 years, as well as all of my fathers belongings. This video is exactly what I needed. I know that I’m keeping more than I should, but I’m also not keeping EVERYTHING. I know that this will be a process and I will need to go through these boxes every year. Slowly but surely, as my heart heals, I will be able to get rid of more things until I’m left with only the items I will keep for the rest of my life. My one question for you is this: I’m having a hard time throwing out all of my childhood art projects, even though I see no value in them other than maybe showing them to my future children. What are your thoughts on keeping art projects and/or greeting cards?
You poor love, that's so hard ❤️😢❤️ If you want to be able to see your art, but don't want to keep it, I've heard people have taken photos, them had them printed in a book; it takes up a lot less space than a traditional photo album ❤️
I can sooooo relate to you. I lost my mom and dad exactly 5 months apart almost 5 years ago. In between their passings I lost my foster dad, my uncle, my dog and a close friend. This video was so needed as I recently lost my mother in law and currently trying to pare down on things. I am so sorry for your losses but thank you so much for sharing this 💜💜💜
Oh man, is this painfully relatable. My mom passed away unexpectedly a few years ago and I can’t even bring myself to get rid of her old lipsticks. Most of my storage unit that I spend my hard earned money on is for sentimental items of hers, my grandparents, old boyfriends, even greetings cards of people I’m still in close contact with but can’t part with because grief tells me “you just never know when they’ll go” and everything becomes precious.
Hi Marissa - Thanks for a very relatable video. I wish there would have been RUclips back when I was younger. I'm sure that what you just said will be therapy to many others listening to your wisdom. Thanks, again!
I don't think people expect you to get over your morning in 3 days, but if you don't get back to a regular routine, that is when people fall into depression. So it is a good thing to start healing and living. Stop blaming others. Life and death are normal. Don't make it like it only happens to you. My brother died back in June, and I am not done morning, but I still have to pay bills and care for my disabled husband. I have been decluttering for over a year and a half, and it gets easier.
I had a very similar experience to yours...i lost both parents, grandparents, 2 cousins, 3 aunts and an uncle within just a few years and i am an only child..thank God for my 3 kids after my divorce...im now learning to let go and be happy again.
I'm getting rid of about 70% (or more) of the stuff I own because I'm moving. I decided to get rid of the comforter my mom made me. She passed in 2016 and while it means a lot to me, it's old and falling apart. I still have my lil blanket from when I was 4. It's actually a large Mexican blanket and she used to wear it all the time cuz it was warm so I feel like she'd be okay with that. I hate getting rid of my comforter. I'm crying over it but I had to cuz I never use it, it's old, it's falling apart, it's in my memory. Idk. I didn't think anything would be this hard.
Could you keep a piece of the fabric? You could frame it or just put it in a memory box. Or if there’s enough salvageable pieces of fabric, you might even be able to make a stuffed animal out of it! At the very least, do you have a picture of you with it? Those are a few ideas. ❤️
@@AtoZenLife I thought about that. I can't have a lot of stuff where I'm moving (Cali is expensive af so it's a very small place until I can get enough money to run away again) because it's a small room, so I figure this is one way of just letting go of everything. It's just another stage of healing.
I understand. My mother recently passed and I have a blanket she crocheted decades ago. I don’t like the colours and I don’t use it but it pains me to get rid of it as it reminds me of what a talent she was in so many areas. I certainly didn’t inherit those skills. I need to downsize as I’m moving. It’s a dilemma. What did you end up doing with yours?
@@monkeyseemonkeydo2597 It was old, I had it since I was 8 and my little sister destroyed most of it so i had to throw it away. However, i still have my blankie (a Mexican blanket she bought me when i was 4yrs old that she would use up until she had to go to the hospital) so I can look at it and think of her. I celebrate her death and my birth the same day cuz yeah Sadly she died on my 31st birthday.... I'll be 37 in 3 days...
I find myself gaining strength with each video. Marissa, you are really putting it out there to help me evaluate my own journey. Today, I'm decluttering paper. Wonderful, paper. I have lots of trees hanging around here. So. Many. Trees...
I really resonated with this one. I lost both my parents, mom was recent and decluttering has been cathartic. I'm allowing myself to keep things I know I'll likely declutter in a coupl of years because I'm just not ready yet, at the same time, getting rid of things that are easier.I'm documenting the process so I don't feel like anything is truly lost.
My father died when I was 17. Although he had been sick for all my life, it was still very sudden. My last conversation with him was what you might think a 17 year old rebellious teenager would say to his father. I was living with my mom since they got divorced, so at the time of his death, I had not seen him in weeks because I was refusing contact. When I heard I would never see him again, would never get to apologise, to thank him for literally spending all his money on gifts for me after the divorce, I developed a severe attachment disorder. Nothing new was allowed in, because I did not want to deal with the loss. Nothing was allowed out either. It was so bad that I would go to school and have trouble drinking the tea my mother made me, because what if it was the last? It got a little better over the years, but the first thing that actually helped was my first huge decluttering session, 3 years later. I had just moved and was completely overwhelmed by the amount of stuff I brought with me. I saw Marie Kondo's Netflix show and knew I had to do that. It was so hard to start, my room looked like a literal trash mountain. What made it even harder was that even the literal trash was sentimental for me. Broken pens, unusable computer parts, notes from 5th grade. How could I possibly let go if he taught me everything I knew about fixing a computer? Even though I got those broken pens from his apartment after he died? Even though those notes reminded me of how he would try everything to get me to tell him why I was so upset after school? How could I throw away the random feather I found if he used to tickle my feet to wake me up when I was a kid? I chose to limit myself to a few items per person. If I could only keep 5 items that remind me of him, what would I keep? Now, two years later, I still have some of the gifts he gave me. But now that I freed myself of tons of clutter, I start to actually remember more things about him. I still have those memories, but I am not forced to think of the same few all the time because of the things around me. I feel like letting go has only made me get to know him better again. Thank you for reading if you did ❤
I do NOT consider sentimental stuff harder. Just the opposite. Anything I can BUY is clutter. Anything from Walmart, Target, Amazon, Dollar Tree, that's just crap that's weighing me down. The sentimental stuff is what brings joy to my life. Sentimental stuff is not harder, it's valuable. My grandfather's Bible, my dad's sermon notes, letters from friends, many now gone. THOSE things are PRICELESS. They are what feed into my life and keep me grounded. The mixing bowls from Target can be trashed. Any organizer of any kind - often just trash. Expired food, food no one will eat, dog food my dog doesn't like, extra office supplies I don't need, printer ink that goes to another printer, books I bought but will never read, used candles, opened salad dressing, produce past its prime, sheets I hate, blankets that are rough, dog sweaters that don't fit my dog, half dead plants, decor I'm sick of. All of THAT is clutter. My grandma's bonnet, priceless. My other grandma's trinket box, priceless. Drawings my son did when he was a child that I felt should be framed (I have four, I believe) priceless.
I am 32 and I have decluttered for 10 years already, without ever having a lot of stuff. And it still takes many days to go through a 50 sqm apartment... I am very thorough. :'D
I’m divorcing my husband. Long story short holding on to my storage after I packed from moving away from him. I’m too the point I’m tired of keeping up with the payments and a lot of it aren’t things I’d probably even buy again. Not the type any way. So far I know for sure I want my first refurbished dresser that I did and my painting stuff/refurbishment tools. But I’m emotionally attached because I’ve held on to it fir so long AND I know my mom would be pissed if I let all that stuff go… but no one else is paying and I need a fresh start. I know I need to do what’s best for me!!🥺 it’s holding me back
My Mom just passed from Covid last year - I’ve got my home filled with clutter AND her home to declutter. I’ll be honest- I don’t know that I believe if I can do this…. And as I was typing this you answered my issue. Thank you. Death is still too raw for me. I’m willing to believe this is something I can do one day. Not today.
I need tissues when I watch this video. I have stuff from my mom that my siblings didn't want, after our mom passed away 10 years ago. I feel everything she is talking about and I have to get my head in the right place so I can do some cleaning out of a lot of her things. I started a Memory Box that contains certain items (of my mom) that mean the most to me. The rest is a bit harder to get rid of. I will just have to take more pictures of some sentimental items and get rid of them somehow. I have to look down the road for whenever I will have to move and not worry about what to do with "all the stuff".
I was so worried she was going to get rid of her grandmas blanket. I've found that with decluttering I've had to do multiple cycles with some time inbetween. With each cycle it gets easier to throw more things out. I've done three major decluttering's over the past year with mini focused ones in there as well. It feels really good to have less clutter.
Oh my God! This is so helpful, mostly because you have really and truly “been there.” I inherited an overwhelming amount of stuff from great aunts, grandparents, and my own parents. A lot of it, BIG stuff. A hundred-year-old solid mahogany dining table that has leaves to seat 12. A hundred-year-old hutch to match. My grandfather’s hundred-year-old desk. A cherry drop leaf table that my other grandfather made. My great aunt’s solid walnut bedroom set from 1900. And also, the little stuff. Lots of it. I am single, and I’ve had to rent 2 bedroom apartments to store it all. Dry rot has claimed some of these pieces-the desk, the bedroom set, and the drop-leaf table are all gone now. My great grandmother’s pitcher and washbowl from before the era of indoor plumbing was knocked to the floor one day; all a reminder that it’s all sand slipping through our fingers. I’m not sure what to do with the big stuff, and I will cry, remembering all the Sunday beef roasts and birthday cakes served on that gorgeous dining room table when it finds its new home. But the memories will still be there when the table is gone. I just can’t afford to live like this anymore. 😥
As a retired jeweler, can you resize your Mothers ring or is it platinum ? The for the ring will get banged around less and it wont catch on anything that would possibly injure your finger. I love that you're wearing it and not hiding it in a drawer or safe !
This video literally is changing my life. I too have lost many people I love and my way of coping when things were changing so fast was to keep many of their possessions. It was like I was trying to clean on to whatever I can that was left of them. The thing is, I thought it would bring me comfort and make me feel closer to them but as time has gone by I have realised that it just doesn't help. Their things are not them. I just want them back but I have recently realised that I need to move forward with my life and that means decluttering and making my house livable and comfortable for the people I do have. I didn't realise how freeing it would be to start giving things away. It's like I am cleansing myself from some of the negative emotions and things that have been holding me back and preventing me from moving forward in my grief journey. The thing I have struggled with the most is getting rid of sentimental items because for some reason I have it in my mind that they would be hurt if they new I was giving them away. Your video has helped me see that it is OK and that it is not disrespecting them or their memory. At least, this is what I am gathering. Can you help reassure me of this? It is something I really struggle with but will feel more confident if I can be assured of this from someone who has literally been there. Thank you so much.
First of all, I'm so sorry for your losses. :( I know exactly what you mean, and at my saddest and worst points I would even go out looking to buy NEW things that reminded me of those past times, on top of the stuff I already had -- like you, I came to realized the magic was gone, and the stuff I had left was NOT my family. I think you are on the right path and I also think you are still in a delicate phase right now. Try letting some things go that you absolutely DON'T LOVE and you know your family wouldn't mind you getting rid of and then see how you feel about that. Then, keep going! I find it hard to think they would be upset with you -- you don't have to make your house a museum for the dead the rest of your life. I always look to the positive - you are sending the stuff on to someone who would be HAPPY and joyful in receiving it! You are not alone, there are plenty of us JUST LIKE YOU here in my comments sections. If you want to watch this video of my Q&A I had a very emotional letter from a reader who has struggled with this very issue for years. ruclips.net/video/rIUDnjT56fk/видео.html All the best and remember to give yourself grace in this transitional period. Take care!
I shared a quote on my Instagram and my community tab, you can go and save it to your phone and look at it when you feel sad and need to keep your motivation up. It's helped me! It goes, "Focus on having the life you want, not wanting the life you had." ~Marissa Zen - that's me ;)
Seeing you sob as you talk about your treasured items made me feel so much better. Ive been gutwrenchingly sobbing over the last few days as all of my stuff has been dumped. My house is stunning right now, but i have never felt so empty and alone in my life. I miss every last bit of paper and trash. Im grieving all of it as if it were a person who has died! Hoarding is so misunderstood. People dont realise the emotional and sometimes physical pain that comes with removing clutter and attempting to move forward without hoarding. Its like having your comfort blanket ripped off and now youre all naked and vulnerable. Take your time everyone. This is a process. Give yourself time to grieve, process, and heal. Its not easy, but youre making the best choices for you right now and you should remind yourself of that everytime you manage to throw a thing away or donate it to charity.
Hi Marissa, I just found your channel! I am so grateful that there is a term for what I have been living through. Sentimental Clutter - who knew, well I have inherited my family generational home, I am the 4th, there are so many memories here, I am crying as I write this. It has been too many years living with all this clutter. It is so HARD! I will continue to watch and absorb, comprehend what you are saying. Thank you for a beginning and a process to start
I have thrown atleast 1 of my deceased mothers hand knitted jacket project. A jacket that got started for me when I was still small. On and off she would work on multiple of these jackets for almost 30 years. And by the time she couldn't anymore it was time to declutter it. The yarn got bad (acrylic) and all plastic things have it's shelf life too . Some sooner than other...We pulled decorative plates of cubboards made from melamin and they crumbled to dust. It has no purpose other than being another painful memory.
Amazing. Helpful. Thank you. (Get your mom’s wedding band resized but be careful of the jeweler so they don’t steal your stone and replace it with a cheap one)
I'm just giving this a watch now , I'm trying to declutter but can't seem to do it . My items don't just hold a sentimental value they hold a memory . For instance I had a shire horse that belonged to my nan sadly it got broken but when I held it I was able to see my nans house and all those people passed. It's like the scene from the crow movie where he's going through the rings to find the one that belongs to Shelley . Right back to watching to see what all your tips are.
Thank you! I needed to watch this video. I am having such a hard time and it’s not sentimental clutter. I am attached to bottles, empty bottles, attached to OMG magazines my sister gave me. I have listened now twice. Thank you, I know I can do this, I am!
BOTTLES! Don’t even get me started, I used to collect my friends wine bottles to put on top of my college dresser - I didn’t even DRINK wine, but I wanted the bottles because I thought they were pretty. And I was literally attached to an olive oil bottle, so I have to say I GET YOU. And you can do it!!! 💪
I have just found your channel Marissa. I will be subscribing You are an amazing woman Marissa. Such an inspiration to others, young and old and all those in between. So many losses at such a young age. Keep up you wonderful videos. God bless you
No need to let go of all those things of wonderful memories . Take pictures and duplicate that info on a few usb drives to store in a safe place . Now you can pass on the items because you will always have the pictures . Especially when you are in your 80’s or 90’s and think you forgot so much you won’t know what you can’t remember . Then you have the pictures to help you relive the memories .
20 year old still a kid to experience those loss! What a pain! I remember a friend asked me in a therapy group: would you rather not to have it at all or would you rather to enjoy it for 20 years and then lost it?
@@AtoZenLife I cry so hard because I lost my dog. My friend asked me: Would you rather enjoy him for 18 years and now lost it, or would you rather never have him? not a great example, but do u see the point now? u lost a dear person in life, Would you rather enjoy them for 20 years? or Would you rather never to have a person like that in ur life?
Thank you for sharing this! I have tons of clothes which I don't wear but can't get rid of. I am thinking what if my daughter will want this, it will be meaningful to her...and guess what. I don't even have a daughter. I have two boys ... I don't know what to do. My mom got rid of some of my favorite toys without asking me, my favorite clothes I wore when I was little and she sewed it for me, she got rid of her wedding dress, wedding ring, everything... I have almost nothing from her! Maybe this is the problem... And of course I can't get rid of my sons clothes they already outgrew. What is it?? Stuff drives me crazy!
I feel so conflicted when I watch things like this. Because I'm all, "I'm maybe not ready to get rid of sentimental clutter yet, but there's a whole ton of things I can get rid of!" and then I'm all, "But why bother? Because what's my real dream? Why am I really doing this? Because I'd love to live in a very small house and use the money that I'd save to go travel. But what's the point? My husband won't get rid of things - he's a bit of a hoarder - and he won't move, and he doesn't like to travel. So what's the point?" It makes me feel so hopeless, like there will never be a solution, and I'll never get to do what I'm dreaming of.
Thank you for your videos. I started watching randomly over the past month or 2. New clutter is easier to deal with. My biggest challenge is the 30-year old clutter like old school work which is actually 40 years old results of my brain on paper!? And a gazillion cards. Several people sent me multiple cards every year for years! Paring down these items to grossly time consuming. Is there a way to do it en masse? Have a bonfire nearby? Ugh. xoxo Thank you.
3:07 only into the video... anyone else got teary too ❤ reminds me how much we do need the support of others in our lives - thank you, I'm only just beginning.
I cried with you! I’m 60. All parents and grandparents are gone. My children don’t see things the way I do. And the grands aren’t old enough to appreciate the sentiment behind these things. I keep saying “things”! That’s what they are…only things. I used to collect Lenox collectibles. I spent sooo much money on them. I had them displayed in such cute arrangements. Until one day I looked at them and realized. I’m the only one who even gives them a second look! And all I do is dust them and put them back to collect more dust. I don’t have guests over. Me and my husband are pretty much loners. The kids and grands rarely visit. Those collectables were easier to get rid of than some of my grandmothers antique decanters and beautiful Blenko vases, which are boxed up and stored away because I got tired of dusting them too. I have cabinets full of things I don’t use but tell myself “maybe one day”. Those days never come. I have done a good job of letting go of clothes. And when my mom passed away I inherited some furniture and was able to let go of those because they just smelled old and my house was starting to smell old. We have been in our home almost 20 years and I can’t believe how much stuff I’ve accumulated. I literally have no more room to store these things. I don’t have an attic or a basement. I guess that’s a good thing or I’d have more things! I actually sit around and think up creative ways to store stuff. Just thinking about all it just gets me frustrated. Memories are what’s holding me hostage to these things. You know those little cards and ornaments your kids made you in school with their thump or hand prints. Mother’s Day cards, first outfits, first haircut. I’m just rambling now.
I understand every last word that you wrote, my friend! I think you might appreciate some of the sentiments that I shared in my recent memory box video, I also talk more about strategies to tackle sentimental clutter: ruclips.net/video/QKwR9fw5qN0/видео.html . Hugs and healing ❤️🩹 to you!
@@AtoZenLife thank you for responding. After I posted this I got in my kitchen and cleaned out a cabinet that had over 20 votive holders that I’ve saved from our marriage in 1995. Some of those I hadn’t used since that day. That caused me to drift into other areas close by. It was liberating! Got rid of some dust in the process. Lol
Omg I started tearing up when you were talking about your grandmother's quilt 😢 Thank you for this video, I'm trying to get rid of a lot of things right now, so this will help!
This made me cry. I have things that belonged to my father and have a hard time letting them go. Even though the items serve no purpose in my life I also don't need then to remember him because I think of him regardless. I have been holding on for 12 years hope I can soon decide to let them go.
You already have the first step, which is knowing that those things are not serving any purpose! Remember, once you send them on they get a new chance to make someone else happy ✨❤️✨. Big hugs.
I understand this because I lost my father too. I see a eagle flying or a hawk and it reminds me of him. He was part native American. That's the easy memories to keep. The only thing that I have that is an item is a tan jacket that is serving it's purpose in the cold. We use it alot. If you can narrow down to two or three items verses alot of items, that will still be special, and a good breakthrough.
7:10 When you mention how this task will bring up buried or old emotions...oof! Just went through 7 big photo albums...I had to take breaks, go for walks, have a snack, etc. and it still took parts of 2 days. BUT I've been thinking about doing this for a few years and now it's done!
This was so helpful. I suddenly saw my curio cabinet and thought it looked like an old persons home. I was just keeping and displaying all of my Mom's, Mother in law's and Grandma's stuff. Basically, I loved it because they collected and loved it. But as I got older, I realized I was basically storing it all. I have to and am parting with it. It is very difficult, but I realize where will it end up when Im gone? People just don't want any of this anymore. Thank you.
I did let go of so many sentimental clutter, like a lot of them because I was huge huge hoarder in the past. But we always got a few ones that we always cherish. In my opinion, there's nothing wrong of keeping them. I don't need to hurt myself A LOT just be able to fully declutter my home, and I don't see these things as clutter. They are important and really sentimental things that I should neatly keep so it doesn't become extra clutter. I do have a cabinet where I keep things that have a sentimental value to me; just the really important ones. But that's just me.
Turn clothes into quilted blankets, turn books into art (if your into art) basically complie things into 1 thing, like small little trinkets, put into 1 box .
Sentimental clutter is the hardest one of all. Thank you for sharing your heart and your story.
Thanks, Erica! ❤ I know you understand. :)
You're awesome wow that's such a challenge and achievement wow!
@@benmcewan1175 Thanks so much! ✨🙏✨
Have you seen this?
www.becomingminimalist.com/sentimental-clutter/
I deliberately searched this topic, bc It is so hard. I have stuff left over from my parents that they had both collected together since the 1960s or so. I'm slowly selling or just trashing most of it, of course I cannot bring myself to get rid of any photographs yet.
🙋sentimental hoarder here... I haven't finished decluttering but here's my biggest tip for everyone! - If you simply take a picture of the item you're struggling to part with, vowing to put all the pics in 1 sentimental cloud folder, it will be remarkably easier to toss it!! Good luck! 💜
I’m in the same situation, and taking a photo is the only thing that helps me. Otherwise its impossible for me to toss it. The strangest thing is that when I look at the photos a couple years later I feel nothing, and often even delete the photos. Time heals old wounds. The first step is the hardest.
Oh. I just posted my thoughts and saw that you had the same idea. Photos but also a story. Great idea.
I tried this but it didn’t help me.
In the end i have found other ways to cope- ablot of the stuff i don’t really think about but when i see it it brings memories and i cant part with it.
Mso stuff i logically know i don’t need or really want i chuck in a box, especially if its got practical use for someone else then after like 6 months i dont open the box i just put to charity.
Also newer stuff im trying to get rid of much quicker- once i dont need or use it i get rid of it but old stuff i cant do this with 😖
The idea of taking a photo is what helped me actively start my decluttering journey and it has helped me ever since, now I am less emotional when letting go, that’s also coz most of the emotional stuff are gone already but also letting go is a lot easier now as I am not so attached to things anymore. And whenever that dilemma comes up of letting go of something that is of no use to me but I want to hang on to it.. taking a picture of it always always and always comes in as a saviour.
Just as they say….. Less is always more !!!!😊
Omg that’s amazing ! I’ll do that
Wow, I can really tell that this was a huge step for her. For some reason I feel so proud of this stranger on the internet 🥺
Thank you so much! ✨❤️✨
First, let me apologize, this is going to be long. Thank you so much for sharing your story, Marissa. My condolences to you on the deep losses that you've experienced. I understand your pain, and I thank you so much for your openness. I have suffered very similar losses, and I found a great deal of comfort from your video. My mom died while I was pregnant with my first child. My dad died in 2014 and my sister a mere 18 months later. After liquidating the contents of their home, my house has been bursting at the seams with things that I just couldn't bring myself to part with. Everything I touched felt like a treasured memory too important to toss. I had already suffered so much loss, and letting go of their possessions felt like I was purposely getting rid of every last memory of them. I spend so much time and energy finding room to display all of their "stuff", as if to memorialize my lost loved ones somehow. Plus, the stuff I can't display is taking up an entire room in my home. I've begun to feel like the house is swallowing me whole, so I made the more logical/less emotional decision to part with some (most) of the items, and although I'm making headway, I'm still having a hard time saying goodbye. Your story has empowered me to see these possessions in a whole new way. They aren't bringing me any closer to the family that I lost, they are just keeping me from getting closer to the family that I still have; my kids, my husband, my grandkids, and my friends. I realize now that letting go of most of these items won't make me die from sadness, but holding onto them could. You have my deepest gratitude for opening my eyes to this.
Comments like yours are the reason I do this! I am also so, so very sorry for your losses - sounds like you had a lot to process in a very short amount of time as well.
Just remember:
- Every goodbye is also a new hello.
- To stay focused on having the life you WANT instead of wanting the life you HAD.
Big hugs and stay in touch, Gail! ❤️
Beautifully written. Thank you for sharing your story 💟
Thank you,@@shinchan7778. I find that sharing helps the healing. Many blessings to you🙏🙏.
Remember: best tip of all is to take a photo of the item, and then you still have it in a way
Sooooo true! "Getting rid of them won't make me die, but holding onto them could." I have kept stuff from my family -- all gone now -- and it's time to let them go. Thank you for sharing your experience. It is an encouragement to me to keep going at this.
Thanks for this ... I'm moving out of my house and downsizing after the death of my husband of 35 years ... moving from 3800 square feet to 1600 square feet ... purging, purging, purging.
Big hugs, so sorry for your loss. ❤️ Lots of big changes going on.
I AM giving biig hug to you to. This is life, but smaller house think about easy clean, you don't need to much items, clutter. Don't take to much. Only take care yourself. More time for yourself. Clean house clean mind. Darling don't forget! you are not only one....
Love you🙏 💖😘
So sorry you lost your husband. I hope you are doing okay. I wish you the best. My dad passed away 10-10-2020. Getting rid of his things and personal items has made me so sad.
I downsized after my husband died. You can do this.
I found this video a year after it was posted, but wow, first & only person who I really really relate to with the grief & loss causing emotional hoarding. I have been feeling like a complete failure trying to declutter, downsize on my own, my health has deteriorated I think in part by trying to address all the issues
thank you, I will be rewatching as often as I need to
I’m glad that you found me, and wishing you success and healing on your journey! You might also find this video that I shared more tips on sentimental clutter and how I would hold all of it down to a single memory box helpful: ruclips.net/video/QKwR9fw5qN0/видео.html Take care!
"Your emotions and your loved ones are in your memories, they are not in the physical possessions that you have left behind from them." Love this ❤️
I have decluttered SO MUCH over the last few years. I’ve moved twice, the most recent one being moving halfway across the country with only what fit in my car, so I had to declutter A LOT.
I still have “sentimental” items that I’ve carried with me through all seven moves in my life. I’m divorced and starting a new life now, and those items are really starting to weigh on me. The items are all my items, from my youth (toys, jewelry, artwork, etc…) they don’t make me happy, but they remind me of a point in my life when I still had hope for a happy future. Currently, they only make me sad every time I see them. I’m not sure what to do. It’s just a small box, about shoe box size. Part of me wants desperately to get rid of EVERYTHING and just start fresh, but I think I may regret getting rid of those things at some point. 🥺
Girl, I'm choked up watching this. I lost my father and mother and aunt in a span of a few years, when I was in my 30's. I'm an only child. Needless to say my basement is full of stuff that needs to be decluttered. Thank you for sharing your story. You inspire me. ❤
Thank you a million times (one for each of the items in my parents house of 70 years!) I had reached a wall in my cleanout efforts and felt I'd never be able to continue. I searched and found this video and when you cried about how hard it was for you to let go, the barrier broke and I was ready to face the project again. I'll be forever grateful.
Oh Sharon, my heart aches for you but I am glad you found the strength to go on! I know you can do it (and you’ll feel better afterwards. ❤️)
I am so glad I found your channel. Been dealing with this and it is the hardest thing. Thank you for being raw, vulnerable and authentic! The world needs more of this!
Christmas of 2019 I got 2 photo albums from my Grandmother. These albums consisted from the time I was born until I graduated from high school. I'm 32 now. Originally she was going to give it to me when I got married. She had an album for all of us grandkids. As of this writing I'm not married plus my grandmother is getting older. She said "I wanted to give this to you while I am still here". I've been decluttering a lot the last few years, but this is an item I gladly accept and add into my life.
That is so sweet and such a treasure! ✨❤️✨
@@AtoZenLife thank you very much.
I love your grandma 🥺
@@fizzfizzbang she's a sweet lady. I'm grateful to have her still.
Comment below I CAN DO THIS!!! If I could sort through 30 years of emotional trauma and grief hoarding, YOU CAN TOO. Believe it, from the bottom of your heart. ❤️
I can do this!!!💕xx
I can do this 💕
I did this I had given my mom a wedding band cause she didn't have one we got a pair one for her and one for me I gave them to my sister both of them I just kept the one I had asked her for which was her dad's wedding band I just couldn't keep something I had gifted to her . May all of our parents that are resting, May they rest in peace
Came for the minimalism advice, stayed for the personality. 💓
Um, stalked your RUclips channel and LIKEWISE...do you live in Taipei? I used to live in Shanghai (husband is Chinese) and have always want to visit T. Gonna go follow you on IG too. 😂
@@AtoZenLife Wow, I feel so humbled you took the time to check out my youtube AND my IG! (I followed back, by the way). I used to live in both China and Taiwan. I went to school in Tianjin and had worked teaching English in Shanghai, and then spent 1 year living in Taichung (it's a city south of Taipei). Such a small world! ^_^ I loved living in Shanghai, even though it was a more expensive city, it was still cheaper than Toronto lol
@@mignoncobra Really nice to “meet” you and I really like your “cute” brand name. 😁 I also studied French in high school, but have forgotten it all, bien sur. My Mandarin has been slipping for years now, and I have to learn German. Oi oi. 😩 The world is really so small, it’s crazy. Cya around! ✌️
@@AtoZenLife I'm happy to have met you as well! Thank you for the lovely compliment, it means alot to me, I took a long time thinking up a "clever" youtube name haha. I also studied French too but I've forgotten alot. I think that's amazing that you're picking up German too! I studied German in high school and I have to say, I found it harder to Chinese lol So good luck!
A friend of mine (who happens to be a minimalist) offered some really good advice. She said "you don't need to hold on to other people's memories". My parents (and grandparents) all passed before I was 30. I'm staring down 50 now and I think I'm finally ready to start letting go. Thank you for this video, I think it's what I needed to really kickstart my sentimental de-hoarding. Wish me luck, this could take a while....
I have diagnosed OCD and I was basically a memory hoarder. ): I’ve been on my minimalist journey since 2016. It’s been great. We are even debt free except our house. BUT, I have such a hard time getting rid of my kids’ toys and clothes. One is 16, the other four. I know it’s because I’m really sad about them growing up.
My wife and I have 4 teenagers. We have a PILEEEE of clothes and we have to get rid of some of them!! Aargh
Beautiful video..loved it
mee too!!!
Marissa I'm Sorry for your family losses - you are an incredibly strong & inspiring amazing lady thank you so much
For me This is THE video to watch have tried to watch other ones this de cluttering one made sense it's from the heart and soul and is helping me to find my peace & a clear logical pAth to clearing my life I can't believe how I got here I think was lockdown and loneliness but this video is GOLD thank you so so much 💕 thankyou for this video you are helping so many people 🌸🌺💕
I'm so glad I found you! I am 67, and do have alot to declutter, and emotionally "unload." I can't keep moving stuff around. There are better things to do with my time. And, I'm at a point where I'm motivated by needing the money. I especially appreciate the comment about how little time we have to grieve. A mistake I made, was taking a new job, commuting, and working overtime shortly after my mother passed. I had little time to go through my mother's things/house, and the estate attorney was pushing me to close it. So, it was easier, especially emotionally, to pack it and store it. My husband has the same problem as far as keeping things. I think that comes from both of us either losing our homes, or not having things when we were younger. Somehow, having stuff might also give you a feeling of being financially secure. I do LOVE collecting old things just because of quality, workmanship and rarity. BUT I can't keep it all, and can keep it in my head that it's time for others to appreciate it. I'm sure I will have to watch your video a few more times to get through this, but it's time to do it. Plus, a few of my minimalist friends will get off my rear about it. It's just that I'm a deep empath. There's alot of "baggage" there, for me to unload.🤗 [I appreciate the diary/memo ideas. That helps alot.❤]
Thank you for this video! I've always been a sentimental hoarder, same as my mother was. I lost her recently and my dad several years ago. So many things I have from childhood and that belonged to them, and I know I need to downsize a lot but finding it so hard, especially as I don't have a family of my own. I've done lots of searches on videos about downsizing sentimental stuff, but this is the first time your channel has come up 💜
I come from a family of keepers, and I was juuuuust arriving at a point where getting rid of things sounded better than continued accumulation when my mother died unexpectedly. I know how lucky I am to have had her for so long, but it's still soooo hard to get rid of things. From the half a can of olives in tupperware she gave me that my husband finally threw away (thank God, cuz I couldn't do it) to the take-out menus (kept a couple for restaurants that I actually thought I might eat at and finally recycled the rest) to the lamp that I always thought was hideous, but I think my grandfather made it. Two 10x15' storage units full of stuff that I wasn't ready to part with. Some of it I'm sure I don't want, but I haven't gotten around to selling it or whatever. Maybe next year.
My aunt helped me go through the house...some days her helping helped, and some days it drove me crazy to be asked what to do with B when I was trying to figure out what to do with A. Thankfully, she was persistent and understanding.
I appreciate you sharing your experience and tips, and I'm sorry that you lost so many important people so young in life. Thank you for turning something so difficult for you into something so helpful to so many.
I’m so sorry that you had to go through this, sometimes it seems like just when you start to be hitting stride or making progress life hits you with another curveball! I know exactly how that feels, and I’m sending you lots of hugs and positive energy from Germany. ✨🤗✨
Oh my god I thought I was the only one when it comes to food items that we store. When I lost my mom, I couldn’t throw away the last meal she cooked (she refrigerated the leftovers) nor some prawns she had specifically bought for me that were in the freezer and so much more.
I couldn’t throw them away until one day 2 years later, when I wasn’t home, power went out for several days and I came home to everything in my fridge rotting. I threw away 4 large bags of stuff. If that didn’t happen, I wouldn’t have been able to get rid of it. Aspects like this are never talked about, some people seem to be able to move on so effortlessly when it comes to material things 🥺
I am so sorry for all of your losses.
Thanks, dear. ❤️
when throwing sentimental things away I draw them in my notebook. These drawings mean more than the original item because it comes from me and is full of feeling and observation- I don't always draw the whole thing but rather some lines that I like.
If you’re talented in art, this seems like a lovely way to remember! ✨✏️✨
@@AtoZenLife you don't need to be talented- just draw the lines you see. I've got a sketch of my dad sat in his chair which looks nothing like him but the lines that I have drawn show something of him.
@@alan5863 this is amazing. you are amazing. thankyou
@@user-dq2ym1nn9k thank you
wow, this is such a beautiful idea. thank you!
Thanks for sharing. My grandmother gave my wife a blanket for my soon to be born daughter at her baby shower..... 11 years after she passed away. It’s an awestruck mixture of joy and sadness.
I can relate to this so much. I also have horrible memory loss (i think my brain shut down due to chaos in early life) and my fear of forgetting those I loved so much, is one huge challenge I face. I also had a storage unit sold with some of my most cherished items. I lost my father at a very early age and also feel like I learn about him as I go through things. Im a 3rd generational hoarder, I guess you could say and literally have boxes from when people died and their entire life was boxed up , piled in my garage.. im rambling but just wanted to get it out. I hope I can get over this, it weighs me down all the time and I just feel frozen.
Cried like a baby while watching this. My condolences. You are a strong lady.
Thank you for sharing your journey and experiences. I also have struggled to let go of things and had to stop using things to make me feel happy. I'm at the point of decluttering easier items, like tools, and have had good results with clothing. I have many bins of items my parents chose to keep that represent decades of bad feelings and delayed decisions. I appreciate the advice you've shared about handling feelings and making decisions. I'm glad you've freed yourself.
I took your advice and started decluttering my least sentimental stuff first such as bedding, pillow covers and curtains etc. It’s all going to the local dog charity. Took me all morning pretty much, what I need to keep for my own needs is tiny. Just shows. My next job is clearing out unneeded kitchen utensils, so very pleased with my progress so far. I’m leaving my late wife’s stuff until last, if I can part with any of it at all remains to be seen. A work in progress.
I didn’t know I was a sentimental hoarder till now. But I am. My family started to disintergrate when I was 12-14 years old. So everything before that, that I still have is precious. I still have my family but I’m the only member who speaks to all the other members. Thank you. X 🇬🇧
Very few channels talk about sentimental clutter. Thank you.
Thank you for watching. ✨
Great tips. I have decluttered all items that brought up sad or unhappy memories. I want my sentimental items to remind me of happy times.❤
Good point. We shouldn't keep anything which just makes us feel bad.
Wow! What a powerful video. I am decluttering sentimental stuff..and the memories attached the these things are powerful. Throwing them away is like cutting up a piece of yourself. It hurts that much. The emotions and memories are so imprinted as if it happened yesterday. What's really hard is stuff from your children...your parents..friends who have passed.
When you cried..I could relate.
Seeing you share something so personal, made me not feel so alone. Thank you. You helped..a lot.
Thank you for this video. I love how you started with your grandma’s quilt and used that to compare everything else to. Sure would put other things in perspective!
Thanks so much! ✨❤️✨ It’s definitely a “guiding star”.
Love the quilt from your grandma
Right? All of the grandkids got one! I feel so happy to have such a loving gift. ❤️
What a wonderful video. That’s exactly how I feel. I have to get a huge number of sentimental items out of my life, mainly because they don’t mean the same to my adult children… only to me. Some do, but most do not. For example, my mother's beautiful carved Chinese camphor wood glory box which she bought in 1938 just before she got married. I can’t believe I still have it after many moves in Australia and overseas. That’s only one item out of scores of items, and there’s a lovely story to every one of those things. Before I die, I am going to have to dispose of so much that nobody else wants, or has an attachment to. There’s no way I can expect my daughter to deal with it all. So, I decided to take photos of each item, and write the story behind each one. I am going to make it into a book, and that way, the memories will remain but not clutter up my life, or the lives of my children. Then I will sell or donate the "stuff". I know it will free me up, but it will be hard as I am very sentimental. I miss my lost loved ones terribly, but it’s unhelpful emotional attachment and probably not healthy. Life must go on…
I agree. The older we get, the more stuff we have, therefore, the harder it is to declutter.
The quilt is lovely. Thank you for sharing. Part of my minimalism includes sewing. This is shocking to some, but like your grandmother, I gift a lot of projects. And I only have fabric for one item at a time, same as buying a clothing piece in the store, but with far more meaning, and less consumerism.
I love that! What a wonderful and special present. 💝
I feel this video so much 😢💔, my mum has been diagnosed with dementia due to her condition getting really bad my dad has decided to sell the family home they have lived in for 45 years and down size to a bungalow. Every loved one we have lost my mum and dad have held onto everything, it is so difficult to sort through.your videos are so refreshing and helpful to know your never alone on a journey like this 🥲
It's weird that you brought up a quilt. I'm a crocheter and I recently realized I don't have something in my memory box (I condensed my memories of my grandparents in a cigar box) for my Oma. I found a large afghan I made with her, and unraveled it until it got small enough to fit in the box. It had been sitting, gathering dust, for about 25 years, so it seemed fitting.
What a neat idea, thanks for sharing 🙏
Germany is an excellent place to be minimal. I lived there for 11 years in the 70s and it made me a cleaning expert and a tiny space scholar.
The issue with my hoarding is that I feel I can't replace anything especially due to my childhood but watching this video has really changed my mind I feel everything I have to hold onto when it's not even a reason to keep it , I think I definitely need to be kinder to myself and process the fact I don't need all this stuff this is a wonderful video
I feel like there are two ways people react after experiencing this level of emotional trauma. 1. They become serious hoarders or substance abusers (drugs, alcohol, food, etc), or 2. They find it in their souls to let go. I don’t know how I’d react to so much loss.
OMGOODNESS... your Grandma's quilt gift....!!!! reminds me of my grandma !!!!
Never heard of sentimental clutter, but realize now that is something I struggle with. I needed to hear this, thanks. My mother passed away recently and I am having the hardest time cleaning out her house. I know where I got it from, she saved every card every family member had ever given her. I ended up reading a lot of them and I can’t even bring myself to throw them away. Crazy! She was very organized though, we never knew she had so many of them. There are other things she saved that I know were sentimental too. I am worse though. I have a lot of just because items. I am going to try your method. I can do this!
I’m glad you’re leading the way, need this at the moment. I stop and start
I know it’s tough, hang in there - if I can do this I believe you can, too!
Thanks for sharing! 🙏🏼
I lost my mother when I was 16, and as a 16-year-old tasked with clearing out an apartment I shared with my mom, I boxed up EVERYTHING (and I mean everything), put it in my dad’s basement, and haven’t gone through it since. Unfortunately, my father passed away a few months ago, so I am now tasked with going through these boxes I haven’t gone through in 17 years, as well as all of my fathers belongings. This video is exactly what I needed. I know that I’m keeping more than I should, but I’m also not keeping EVERYTHING. I know that this will be a process and I will need to go through these boxes every year. Slowly but surely, as my heart heals, I will be able to get rid of more things until I’m left with only the items I will keep for the rest of my life.
My one question for you is this: I’m having a hard time throwing out all of my childhood art projects, even though I see no value in them other than maybe showing them to my future children. What are your thoughts on keeping art projects and/or greeting cards?
You could take a picture of it
You poor love, that's so hard ❤️😢❤️
If you want to be able to see your art, but don't want to keep it, I've heard people have taken photos, them had them printed in a book; it takes up a lot less space than a traditional photo album ❤️
Thank you so much, this video is very helpful and inspiring. You are so strong!
Thank you so much for your kind words, I hope to share more helpful videos soon - take care!
I can sooooo relate to you. I lost my mom and dad exactly 5 months apart almost 5 years ago. In between their passings I lost my foster dad, my uncle, my dog and a close friend. This video was so needed as I recently lost my mother in law and currently trying to pare down on things. I am so sorry for your losses but thank you so much for sharing this 💜💜💜
I’m very sorry for your losses! That is A LOT to process in a very short time. 😞😢 Thank you for watching and good luck with your paring. ✨❤️✨
I can also relate with you, I have lost a lot as well and even my dog! Hang in there, good to know we’re not alone! 💕
@@loj3268 so sorry for your losses. You are definitely not alone 💕
Oh man, is this painfully relatable. My mom passed away unexpectedly a few years ago and I can’t even bring myself to get rid of her old lipsticks. Most of my storage unit that I spend my hard earned money on is for sentimental items of hers, my grandparents, old boyfriends, even greetings cards of people I’m still in close contact with but can’t part with because grief tells me “you just never know when they’ll go” and everything becomes precious.
OMG ... the quilt story ... I can’t 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭💖💖💖💖 #sobeautiful 😩😭💖💖💖💖💖💖
Thank you! ✨♥️✨
Something that always helped me get rid of things is this saying my mom says, "There is a little girl out there that would love to have that"
Hi Marissa - Thanks for a very relatable video. I wish there would have been RUclips back when I was younger. I'm sure that what you just said will be therapy to many others listening to your wisdom. Thanks, again!
I think you are one of the most helpful creators I ever came across on decluttering and minimalism ❤️
I don't think people expect you to get over your morning in 3 days, but if you don't get back to a regular routine, that is when people fall into depression. So it is a good thing to start healing and living. Stop blaming others. Life and death are normal. Don't make it like it only happens to you. My brother died back in June, and I am not done morning, but I still have to pay bills and care for my disabled husband. I have been decluttering for over a year and a half, and it gets easier.
I heard a suggestion to take a picture of the sentimental item then give it away.
Some people definitely do this! 🤗
I do this...even with old t-shirts that I've loved😊
I can do this.. I’m really proud of you for doing this and recording your journey. Thank you. ❤
Sage advice, thank you.
I had a very similar experience to yours...i lost both parents, grandparents, 2 cousins, 3 aunts and an uncle within just a few years and i am an only child..thank God for my 3 kids after my divorce...im now learning to let go and be happy again.
I'm getting rid of about 70% (or more) of the stuff I own because I'm moving. I decided to get rid of the comforter my mom made me. She passed in 2016 and while it means a lot to me, it's old and falling apart. I still have my lil blanket from when I was 4. It's actually a large Mexican blanket and she used to wear it all the time cuz it was warm so I feel like she'd be okay with that. I hate getting rid of my comforter. I'm crying over it but I had to cuz I never use it, it's old, it's falling apart, it's in my memory. Idk. I didn't think anything would be this hard.
Could you keep a piece of the fabric? You could frame it or just put it in a memory box. Or if there’s enough salvageable pieces of fabric, you might even be able to make a stuffed animal out of it! At the very least, do you have a picture of you with it? Those are a few ideas. ❤️
@@AtoZenLife I thought about that. I can't have a lot of stuff where I'm moving (Cali is expensive af so it's a very small place until I can get enough money to run away again) because it's a small room, so I figure this is one way of just letting go of everything. It's just another stage of healing.
I understand. My mother recently passed and I have a blanket she crocheted decades ago. I don’t like the colours and I don’t use it but it pains me to get rid of it as it reminds me of what a talent she was in so many areas. I certainly didn’t inherit those skills. I need to downsize as I’m moving. It’s a dilemma. What did you end up doing with yours?
@@monkeyseemonkeydo2597 It was old, I had it since I was 8 and my little sister destroyed most of it so i had to throw it away. However, i still have my blankie (a Mexican blanket she bought me when i was 4yrs old that she would use up until she had to go to the hospital) so I can look at it and think of her. I celebrate her death and my birth the same day cuz yeah Sadly she died on my 31st birthday.... I'll be 37 in 3 days...
Wow!!! Your house echoes! Must be clean!!!
You can get that ring of yours resized for a low cost. It will make it far more enjoyable to own and wear.
Thanks for the advice!
I am so sorry for your losses. 😢 We can do this!
Yes, YOU CAN!
I find myself gaining strength with each video. Marissa, you are really putting it out there to help me evaluate my own journey. Today, I'm decluttering paper. Wonderful, paper. I have lots of trees hanging around here.
So. Many. Trees...
I really resonated with this one. I lost both my parents, mom was recent and decluttering has been cathartic. I'm allowing myself to keep things I know I'll likely declutter in a coupl of years because I'm just not ready yet, at the same time, getting rid of things that are easier.I'm documenting the process so I don't feel like anything is truly lost.
My father died when I was 17. Although he had been sick for all my life, it was still very sudden. My last conversation with him was what you might think a 17 year old rebellious teenager would say to his father. I was living with my mom since they got divorced, so at the time of his death, I had not seen him in weeks because I was refusing contact. When I heard I would never see him again, would never get to apologise, to thank him for literally spending all his money on gifts for me after the divorce, I developed a severe attachment disorder. Nothing new was allowed in, because I did not want to deal with the loss. Nothing was allowed out either. It was so bad that I would go to school and have trouble drinking the tea my mother made me, because what if it was the last?
It got a little better over the years, but the first thing that actually helped was my first huge decluttering session, 3 years later. I had just moved and was completely overwhelmed by the amount of stuff I brought with me. I saw Marie Kondo's Netflix show and knew I had to do that. It was so hard to start, my room looked like a literal trash mountain. What made it even harder was that even the literal trash was sentimental for me. Broken pens, unusable computer parts, notes from 5th grade.
How could I possibly let go if he taught me everything I knew about fixing a computer? Even though I got those broken pens from his apartment after he died? Even though those notes reminded me of how he would try everything to get me to tell him why I was so upset after school? How could I throw away the random feather I found if he used to tickle my feet to wake me up when I was a kid?
I chose to limit myself to a few items per person. If I could only keep 5 items that remind me of him, what would I keep? Now, two years later, I still have some of the gifts he gave me. But now that I freed myself of tons of clutter, I start to actually remember more things about him. I still have those memories, but I am not forced to think of the same few all the time because of the things around me. I feel like letting go has only made me get to know him better again.
Thank you for reading if you did ❤
I do NOT consider sentimental stuff harder. Just the opposite. Anything I can BUY is clutter. Anything from Walmart, Target, Amazon, Dollar Tree, that's just crap that's weighing me down. The sentimental stuff is what brings joy to my life. Sentimental stuff is not harder, it's valuable. My grandfather's Bible, my dad's sermon notes, letters from friends, many now gone. THOSE things are PRICELESS. They are what feed into my life and keep me grounded. The mixing bowls from Target can be trashed. Any organizer of any kind - often just trash. Expired food, food no one will eat, dog food my dog doesn't like, extra office supplies I don't need, printer ink that goes to another printer, books I bought but will never read, used candles, opened salad dressing, produce past its prime, sheets I hate, blankets that are rough, dog sweaters that don't fit my dog, half dead plants, decor I'm sick of. All of THAT is clutter. My grandma's bonnet, priceless. My other grandma's trinket box, priceless. Drawings my son did when he was a child that I felt should be framed (I have four, I believe) priceless.
I am 32 and I have decluttered for 10 years already, without ever having a lot of stuff. And it still takes many days to go through a 50 sqm apartment... I am very thorough. :'D
I’m divorcing my husband. Long story short holding on to my storage after I packed from moving away from him. I’m too the point I’m tired of keeping up with the payments and a lot of it aren’t things I’d probably even buy again. Not the type any way. So far I know for sure I want my first refurbished dresser that I did and my painting stuff/refurbishment tools. But I’m emotionally attached because I’ve held on to it fir so long AND I know my mom would be pissed if I let all that stuff go… but no one else is paying and I need a fresh start. I know I need to do what’s best for me!!🥺 it’s holding me back
My Mom just passed from Covid last year - I’ve got my home filled with clutter AND her home to declutter. I’ll be honest- I don’t know that I believe if I can do this…. And as I was typing this you answered my issue. Thank you. Death is still too raw for me. I’m willing to believe this is something I can do one day. Not today.
Take the time you need to heal! I had 30 years to sit with my clutter. Hugs and healing ❤️🩹 to you.
I need tissues when I watch this video. I have stuff from my mom that my siblings didn't want, after our mom passed away 10 years ago. I feel everything she is talking about and I have to get my head in the right place so I can do some cleaning out of a lot of her things. I started a Memory Box that contains certain items (of my mom) that mean the most to me. The rest is a bit harder to get rid of. I will just have to take more pictures of some sentimental items and get rid of them somehow. I have to look down the road for whenever I will have to move and not worry about what to do with "all the stuff".
I was so worried she was going to get rid of her grandmas blanket. I've found that with decluttering I've had to do multiple cycles with some time inbetween. With each cycle it gets easier to throw more things out. I've done three major decluttering's over the past year with mini focused ones in there as well. It feels really good to have less clutter.
Oh my God! This is so helpful, mostly because you have really and truly “been there.” I inherited an overwhelming amount of stuff from great aunts, grandparents, and my own parents. A lot of it, BIG stuff. A hundred-year-old solid mahogany dining table that has leaves to seat 12. A hundred-year-old hutch to match. My grandfather’s hundred-year-old desk. A cherry drop leaf table that my other grandfather made. My great aunt’s solid walnut bedroom set from 1900. And also, the little stuff. Lots of it. I am single, and I’ve had to rent 2 bedroom apartments to store it all. Dry rot has claimed some of these pieces-the desk, the bedroom set, and the drop-leaf table are all gone now. My great grandmother’s pitcher and washbowl from before the era of indoor plumbing was knocked to the floor one day; all a reminder that it’s all sand slipping through our fingers. I’m not sure what to do with the big stuff, and I will cry, remembering all the Sunday beef roasts and birthday cakes served on that gorgeous dining room table when it finds its new home. But the memories will still be there when the table is gone. I just can’t afford to live like this anymore. 😥
As a retired jeweler, can you resize your Mothers ring or is it platinum ? The for the ring will get banged around less and it wont catch on anything that would possibly injure your finger. I love that you're wearing it and not hiding it in a drawer or safe !
Way to go! Pray you find the tools to help you deal with your emotions
This video literally is changing my life. I too have lost many people I love and my way of coping when things were changing so fast was to keep many of their possessions. It was like I was trying to clean on to whatever I can that was left of them. The thing is, I thought it would bring me comfort and make me feel closer to them but as time has gone by I have realised that it just doesn't help. Their things are not them. I just want them back but I have recently realised that I need to move forward with my life and that means decluttering and making my house livable and comfortable for the people I do have. I didn't realise how freeing it would be to start giving things away. It's like I am cleansing myself from some of the negative emotions and things that have been holding me back and preventing me from moving forward in my grief journey. The thing I have struggled with the most is getting rid of sentimental items because for some reason I have it in my mind that they would be hurt if they new I was giving them away. Your video has helped me see that it is OK and that it is not disrespecting them or their memory. At least, this is what I am gathering. Can you help reassure me of this? It is something I really struggle with but will feel more confident if I can be assured of this from someone who has literally been there. Thank you so much.
First of all, I'm so sorry for your losses. :( I know exactly what you mean, and at my saddest and worst points I would even go out looking to buy NEW things that reminded me of those past times, on top of the stuff I already had -- like you, I came to realized the magic was gone, and the stuff I had left was NOT my family. I think you are on the right path and I also think you are still in a delicate phase right now. Try letting some things go that you absolutely DON'T LOVE and you know your family wouldn't mind you getting rid of and then see how you feel about that. Then, keep going! I find it hard to think they would be upset with you -- you don't have to make your house a museum for the dead the rest of your life. I always look to the positive - you are sending the stuff on to someone who would be HAPPY and joyful in receiving it! You are not alone, there are plenty of us JUST LIKE YOU here in my comments sections. If you want to watch this video of my Q&A I had a very emotional letter from a reader who has struggled with this very issue for years. ruclips.net/video/rIUDnjT56fk/видео.html All the best and remember to give yourself grace in this transitional period. Take care!
I shared a quote on my Instagram and my community tab, you can go and save it to your phone and look at it when you feel sad and need to keep your motivation up. It's helped me! It goes, "Focus on having the life you want, not wanting the life you had." ~Marissa Zen - that's me ;)
Thank you SO VERY MUCH! I love this quote! You are an inspiration.
@@KittyKitCat100 It’s people like you who drive me to share this stuff! ✨❤️✨ Take care!
HAHA, when you put 'not the bottle, stand in actor' for the olive oil bottle! lol
Hahaha, glad you liked it!
Omg..gramma! Love her! Thats awesome
Thank you for sharing! You are so brave. 🤗
Seeing you sob as you talk about your treasured items made me feel so much better. Ive been gutwrenchingly sobbing over the last few days as all of my stuff has been dumped. My house is stunning right now, but i have never felt so empty and alone in my life. I miss every last bit of paper and trash. Im grieving all of it as if it were a person who has died!
Hoarding is so misunderstood. People dont realise the emotional and sometimes physical pain that comes with removing clutter and attempting to move forward without hoarding. Its like having your comfort blanket ripped off and now youre all naked and vulnerable.
Take your time everyone. This is a process. Give yourself time to grieve, process, and heal. Its not easy, but youre making the best choices for you right now and you should remind yourself of that everytime you manage to throw a thing away or donate it to charity.
Hi Marissa, I just found your channel! I am so grateful that there is a term for what I have been living through. Sentimental Clutter - who knew, well I have inherited my family generational home, I am the 4th, there are so many memories here, I am crying as I write this. It has been too many years living with all this clutter. It is so HARD! I will continue to watch and absorb, comprehend what you are saying. Thank you for a beginning and a process to start
I have thrown atleast 1 of my deceased mothers hand knitted jacket project. A jacket that got started for me when I was still small. On and off she would work on multiple of these jackets for almost 30 years. And by the time she couldn't anymore it was time to declutter it. The yarn got bad (acrylic) and all plastic things have it's shelf life too . Some sooner than other...We pulled decorative plates of cubboards made from melamin and they crumbled to dust. It has no purpose other than being another painful memory.
Amazing. Helpful. Thank you.
(Get your mom’s wedding band resized but be careful of the jeweler so they don’t steal your stone and replace it with a cheap one)
Thank you, that’s one of the reasons I’m hesitant. 🥲
I'm just giving this a watch now , I'm trying to declutter but can't seem to do it . My items don't just hold a sentimental value they hold a memory . For instance I had a shire horse that belonged to my nan sadly it got broken but when I held it I was able to see my nans house and all those people passed. It's like the scene from the crow movie where he's going through the rings to find the one that belongs to Shelley . Right back to watching to see what all your tips are.
would a photo of the item work instead?
@@helenamizera3807 hmmmm possibly though could it make for a regret moment ? I suppose it's down to how much it's the physical object.
Maybe try taking a photo of it to try it out. Put the object away, and use/display the photo for a while.
Thank you! I needed to watch this video. I am having such a hard time and it’s not sentimental clutter. I am attached to bottles, empty bottles, attached to OMG magazines my sister gave me. I have listened now twice. Thank you, I know I can do this, I am!
BOTTLES! Don’t even get me started, I used to collect my friends wine bottles to put on top of my college dresser - I didn’t even DRINK wine, but I wanted the bottles because I thought they were pretty. And I was literally attached to an olive oil bottle, so I have to say I GET YOU. And you can do it!!! 💪
I have just found your channel Marissa. I will be subscribing You are an amazing woman Marissa. Such an inspiration to others, young and old and all those in between. So many losses at such a young age. Keep up you wonderful videos. God bless you
Thank you for your kind words! I truly believe my purpose is to help others heal as I have found healing myself. 🙏
No need to let go of all those things of wonderful memories . Take pictures and duplicate that info on a few usb drives to store in a safe place . Now you can pass on the items because you will always have the pictures . Especially when you are in your 80’s or 90’s and think you forgot so much you won’t know what you can’t remember . Then you have the pictures to help you relive the memories .
20 year old still a kid to experience those loss! What a pain! I remember a friend asked me in a therapy group: would you rather not to have it at all or would you rather to enjoy it for 20 years and then lost it?
What did you say? 😭
@@AtoZenLife I cry so hard because I lost my dog. My friend asked me: Would you rather enjoy him for 18 years and now lost it, or would you rather never have him? not a great example, but do u see the point now? u lost a dear person in life, Would you rather enjoy them for 20 years? or Would you rather never to have a person like that in ur life?
Maybe it's time to resize your mother's wedding ring so it fits you. I just did this with my Grandmother's wedding ring.
Thank you for sharing this! I have tons of clothes which I don't wear but can't get rid of. I am thinking what if my daughter will want this, it will be meaningful to her...and guess what. I don't even have a daughter. I have two boys ... I don't know what to do. My mom got rid of some of my favorite toys without asking me, my favorite clothes I wore when I was little and she sewed it for me, she got rid of her wedding dress, wedding ring, everything... I have almost nothing from her! Maybe this is the problem... And of course I can't get rid of my sons clothes they already outgrew. What is it?? Stuff drives me crazy!
I feel so conflicted when I watch things like this. Because I'm all, "I'm maybe not ready to get rid of sentimental clutter yet, but there's a whole ton of things I can get rid of!" and then I'm all, "But why bother? Because what's my real dream? Why am I really doing this? Because I'd love to live in a very small house and use the money that I'd save to go travel. But what's the point? My husband won't get rid of things - he's a bit of a hoarder - and he won't move, and he doesn't like to travel. So what's the point?" It makes me feel so hopeless, like there will never be a solution, and I'll never get to do what I'm dreaming of.
So relatable!
*Thank you.* 🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹
Thank you for your videos. I started watching randomly over the past month or 2. New clutter is easier to deal with. My biggest challenge is the 30-year old clutter like old school work which is actually 40 years old results of my brain on paper!? And a gazillion cards. Several people sent me multiple cards every year for years! Paring down these items to grossly time consuming. Is there a way to do it en masse? Have a bonfire nearby? Ugh. xoxo Thank you.
3:07 only into the video... anyone else got teary too ❤ reminds me how much we do need the support of others in our lives - thank you, I'm only just beginning.
I cried with you!
I’m 60. All parents and grandparents are gone. My children don’t see things the way I do. And the grands aren’t old enough to appreciate the sentiment behind these things.
I keep saying “things”! That’s what they are…only things.
I used to collect Lenox collectibles. I spent sooo much money on them. I had them displayed in such cute arrangements. Until one day I looked at them and realized. I’m the only one who even gives them a second look! And all I do is dust them and put them back to collect more dust.
I don’t have guests over. Me and my husband are pretty much loners. The kids and grands rarely visit. Those collectables were easier to get rid of than some of my grandmothers antique decanters and beautiful Blenko vases, which are boxed up and stored away because I got tired of dusting them too.
I have cabinets full of things I don’t use but tell myself “maybe one day”. Those days never come.
I have done a good job of letting go of clothes. And when my mom passed away I inherited some furniture and was able to let go of those because they just smelled old and my house was starting to smell old.
We have been in our home almost 20 years and I can’t believe how much stuff I’ve accumulated. I literally have no more room to store these things. I don’t have an attic or a basement. I guess that’s a good thing or I’d have more things! I actually sit around and think up creative ways to store stuff.
Just thinking about all it just gets me frustrated.
Memories are what’s holding me hostage to these things. You know those little cards and ornaments your kids made you in school with their thump or hand prints. Mother’s Day cards, first outfits, first haircut.
I’m just rambling now.
I understand every last word that you wrote, my friend! I think you might appreciate some of the sentiments that I shared in my recent memory box video, I also talk more about strategies to tackle sentimental clutter: ruclips.net/video/QKwR9fw5qN0/видео.html . Hugs and healing ❤️🩹 to you!
@@AtoZenLife thank you for responding. After I posted this I got in my kitchen and cleaned out a cabinet that had over 20 votive holders that I’ve saved from our marriage in 1995. Some of those I hadn’t used since that day. That caused me to drift into other areas close by. It was liberating! Got rid of some dust in the process. Lol
Omg I started tearing up when you were talking about your grandmother's quilt 😢 Thank you for this video, I'm trying to get rid of a lot of things right now, so this will help!
Cheering 📣 you on!
This made me cry. I have things that belonged to my father and have a hard time letting them go. Even though the items serve no purpose in my life I also don't need then to remember him because I think of him regardless. I have been holding on for 12 years hope I can soon decide to let them go.
You already have the first step, which is knowing that those things are not serving any purpose! Remember, once you send them on they get a new chance to make someone else happy ✨❤️✨. Big hugs.
I understand this because I lost my father too. I see a eagle flying or a hawk and it reminds me of him. He was part native American. That's the easy memories to keep. The only thing that I have that is an item is a tan jacket that is serving it's purpose in the cold. We use it alot. If you can narrow down to two or three items verses alot of items, that will still be special, and a good breakthrough.
7:10 When you mention how this task will bring up buried or old emotions...oof! Just went through 7 big photo albums...I had to take breaks, go for walks, have a snack, etc. and it still took parts of 2 days. BUT I've been thinking about doing this for a few years and now it's done!
This was so helpful. I suddenly saw my curio cabinet and thought it looked like an old persons home. I was just keeping and displaying all of my Mom's, Mother in law's and Grandma's stuff. Basically, I loved it because they collected and loved it. But as I got older, I realized I was basically storing it all. I have to and am parting with it. It is very difficult, but I realize where will it end up when Im gone? People just don't want any of this anymore. Thank you.
I did let go of so many sentimental clutter, like a lot of them because I was huge huge hoarder in the past. But we always got a few ones that we always cherish. In my opinion, there's nothing wrong of keeping them. I don't need to hurt myself A LOT just be able to fully declutter my home, and I don't see these things as clutter. They are important and really sentimental things that I should neatly keep so it doesn't become extra clutter. I do have a cabinet where I keep things that have a sentimental value to me; just the really important ones. But that's just me.
Great video. I'm almost 70 and have acquired a LOT of clutter. This will help me to start, I hope.🤞
Turn clothes into quilted blankets, turn books into art (if your into art) basically complie things into 1 thing, like small little trinkets, put into 1 box .