an elderly woman once told me, "my mother-in-law said she spent the first half of her life collecting everything, and spent the last 1/2 of her life getting rid of it."
What's sad is if they don't get rid of it and die, the family left behind basically just ignores it - so all the memories tied in to things actually good are lost in the 'crap'. Such a sad state we've fallen into.
@@museluvr the simple solution is don't create any memory. Live in the moment and let go. People just want to get attached with everything and carry that burden on their shoulders as well as in their heads.
@@infinitebeing1119Simple, maybe, but not easy. We humans, as a group, lean in to attachment. "Sentimental" things, religious icons, historical items - all provide a touchstone for community. I wonder if the greater disservice is that the family "group" no longer has the stories of great grandmother's doll, grandfather's clock, or the handmade table that your great uncle made in Woodshop to hold them together. Now it's just disposible things from a disjointed culture. 🙁
One Christmas, when my kids were little, I watched them open their Christmas presents. Like so many people I felt a lot of pride in giving them a lot of presents and what I thought was joy. But as I watched, I noticed that while they were excited to open their gifts, after they opened them they would often play with ONE toy only. I watched them closely. In some cases, they never touched the other toys again. It was instructive and it took some time for me to convince my husband but after that, we would ask them what is the one thing they wanted and give them just that one gift. They never knew the difference.
A long time ago, I came to the conclusion (after watching my niephlings receive way too much stuff) that it made the most sense to instill a sense of simplicity and charity in my own (still hypothetical) kids early on, so I figured that once they were old enough to discuss things (say, 4 years old), we'd discuss ahead of time that they were going to choose a couple of items to play with right away, a couple of items to put into storage and play with later, and a couple items to give away to kids who don't have as much as we do. That way, even if their extended family gave them a lot of things, we could avoid the excess clutter in a useful way, and keep them mindful about their own sense of enjoyment, and avoid the "I have so many things that I'm bored" overload effect.
My parents gave us big bags full of presents, toys and candy, basically stuff to make it seem big and one or two considerate thing. But at some age (like 15) they just stopped and now you get one or two unimaginative gadgets. I suppose they felt like it was a childish tradition but i really miss it. Dad asks me what i want, i say 'just a lot of simple stuff, jelly and soda would be nice' and then i'll get one more pair of headphones. I would ask him about it and he would say that I wasn't clear on what i want.
From a European perspective, this looks like a pure urban design consequence. Where I live, I can get most of what I need in 15 minutes from the nearest small store. Then I have a larger store in 10 minutes walk. The school is a block away. There's no need to optimize and stockpile. A lot of people, me included, do not have cars and have little use for them. In US, the suburban concept intuitively feels as freedom - going wherever you need by car which anyone has, living in a vast space. But in fact that urban design turns up a huge burden, chore and time sink for everyday life working class leads - work, school, store. Life looks better by its abundance - larger houses, lawns - but does it feel better when you are paying for that in dealing with commute and stockpiles in hours of boring hassle, day in and day out?
I sought out one of the walkable neighborhoods in the US (and we don't have a ton tbh) and I wouldn't give it up for anything. Urban and suburban design fundamentally shape how we spend our time. I want to be able to get what I need in a 10-15 minute walk but when I talk to people who ask about how I live without a car and walk everywhere they seem flabbergasted and never considered anything but having 2 cars and driving everywhere. The default suburban way of life needs to be questioned. You could absolutely create town center sorts of areas if you changed zoning in those suburban areas. Current zoning in many cities prevents mingling commercial/retail space with residential space.
As soon as the food portion came up, I thought the same thing. Like families only need to make a big thing out of going grocery shopping cause there isn't a store within walking distance. You have to coordinate school pickup schedules cause the kids can't walk or cycle themselves to and from events. It definitely may feel like freedom at first, but you realize the consumer prison that it is the longer you look at it.
As an American who got to work for a few months in Germany in the city center of Munich, I was thinking the exact same thing. So your comment was extremely cool see
As a single older man running a business the COVID crisis hit and I was forced to stay in my home. 20 years of clutter and filth in house and garage. It took 6 weeks to sort out. The master bedroom became the most spartan and uncluttered looking more like a hotel room or nice AirBnB. A peacefulness settled into me as priorities became clearer and practical applications of creativity took wing. I don't think I'm alone in this. I think a lot of us 'woke up'. Thanks for the informative video from Alabama.
watching during the covid craziness too. i am married with a 4 month old and we are sharing a space with ppl who are like beginning hoarders, we are moving into a small condo in a few weeks and are trying to simplify what we have. it really does allow you to breathe more easily not being surrounded by so much stuff.
What an awesome comment and thank you for sharing your experience during this difficult of times. I hope everything is going well for you. Usually single men are the first to get hit by unemployment, next are single women, and so fort. Anyways I wish the best for all during these crazy times. Much peace from South Florida. 😎👍🙏
I too have FINALLY been able to start and complete tasks I'd intended to do and let over 10 years go by without starting. Feels great. From here on out I intend to intend less. {:-)
Wish my wife would have an epiphany and clean her clutter (clothes and shoes) from all 3 bedrooms!! The house is a giant mess thanks to her clutter!! I would be a minimalist if I were a single...except for my tools.
Technically + etiquette wise - it's best to give a citation [use quotation marks + source]. Otherwise , it's kinda lame to just claim a saying as your own.
thanks, Loui Petters, this is one of the best quotes I have heard in many, many months, and I collect quotes, I already sent to family...........wow, might do this in calligraphy ........wonder who said it first? wow, thanks again. !!!!
@@@smallstudiodesign --- I am so happy that Loui Peters gave us this thought..........so much for your etiquette stuff...............I have one for you.......sorry friend, but "Sometimes Good is good enough"
In my experience, the "middle class" in the US can often be teetering on the edge of poverty. I think, aside from all the other causes, knowing that resources are tight keeps people afraid of getting rid of things, just in case they will need it someday. And to me there seems to be a deep loneliness that people are trying to fill by shopping and filling up their spaces with clutter, not unlike people who gorge themselves in order the satiate an emotional hunger.
I’m guessing that’s people who live above their means. I’m middle middle class and mostly everyone I know. We all pay our bills and have put aside retirement savings, emergency savings, etc, savings to help for children’s college. I guess it’s a case of the company we keep. Most of my co-workers as well do the same. I know upper middle class people that have more expensive residences and less in their savings.
They are social scientist and most Anthropologists (Ethnographers) study culture and humanity, they are humanist and generally love , if not like humanity.
Of course they're judgmental. Everyone is judgmental, whether or not they admit it. The fact that the researchers chose these specific families to illustrate their thesis means that they judged the families to be appropriate subjects to study.
@@HOLLASOUNDS Yes, the researchers claim that this is a characteristic exclusive to America, but it isn't true. I think it's a matter of how much space is available to people. Japanese and Korean households are just as cluttered as those in America -- sometimes, much more so -- but they don't have as much space to spread the clutter around. In many non-American cities, people rent off-site storage space to keep their extra belongings.
it is called being professional.....after all they do want to sell a book. I bet, when the cameras are off and the doors are close all of this sounds a whole lot different because people are people are people and we cannot help but judge others. it in our nature.
Instead of giving gifts as objects give experiences as gifts. An outing, a show, a night out etc. Memories and life experiences are worth more to someone
Nobody likes to do that thought because that requires thought and time. A gift they can swipe off any store shelf quickly. I hate gifts without thought
You’re so right. Especially in the US, we’ve become a nation of over-consumption. The best gifts are often those that family and friends know are what touches our hearts and many times that costs little or nothing. Random acts of kindness are priceless.
Several years ago after getting tired of having junk in my house and accumulating stuff oh, I had a serious conversation with my husband. I said honey I want to retire at the age of 55 I've worked hard all my life we have had many luxuries, we have traveled, we've eaten in the best restaurants, Etc I am tired of junk. I am tired of working hard. I need a break. So what did we do? We sold everything we owned. We sold our house. We sold our furniture. We sold our cars. We sold as many things as we could. Today I live in Sunny Puerto Rico in a mountainous region. And don't owe anybody anything. Oh I bought a nice little house. My husband recently died. And I am not indebted. We need to learn to live without so much junk in our lives. That way your heart can have room to think about the things that are more important and have the things that are more important. Like love, peace, harmony especially having God in our hearts is important.
Rebecca Gutierrez My husband and I did the same thing in 2018 and retired to a small Caribbean island in Belize. We now live in one of the safest and most economical places on earth. When the virus hit we were very grateful for the early move. Be well!
My mother was a hoarder, I became one as well. When my mother passed, I was overwhelmed with what I would keep of my mother’s and what to get rid of. This made me realized that I didn’t want my children to deal with my stuff. It took me awhile, but I started to purge my stuff. It’s like a weight was lifted off me. Less for me to clean, less to organize. It starts in your mind. I feel better now.
my mom is like that too and my step dad, but my mom especially. there are certain keep sakes i do want to keep.. but we can't even bring much into the condo we are moving into so i have to leave it with her. we lost our house several times growing up and i think that contributed..loosing precious memories or expensive things that she needed, so she ended up having more of a hoarding tendency.
I’m currently dealing with this myself, with things that belonged to both my parents, my grandparents, and even some things that were my great-grandparents! It gets quite depressing at times, and maddening! I’m doing my best to deal with it all, and it’s made me feel desperate to live a minimalistic life from here on out!
I have decluttered incredibly much over the past few years. Not once have I regretted giving something away. People often comment on how cosy yet minimalistic my flat is because I think we all intuitively realise that a clear space equals a clear mind. The less I have to tidy and take care of stuff, the more I can take care of myself and loved ones. I've also become virtually immune to ads - once you realise that you treat yourself to things because you're tired or insecure or hate working so much, you gradually learn how to question that behaviour and substitute it with much more fulfilling things (e.g. go outside, cook a nice meal, go to a memorable event, create something with your own hands) which will also save you a lot of money and help you create a life that you don't have to escape from or try to upgrade through consumerism
Create SOMETHING with your own hands....and GIVE it away...because, clutter? This was part of my point....I'm an artist. I create. I'm a performing musician. I play 10 instruments...HOW do I produce wood products, or handcrafted items...paintings, sculptures, or ?? Let's say you do beading...Do you know how much STUFF you need to do beading? Wire, beads, clasps...
@@lowellirish Minimalism and conscious consumption isn't about owning nothing. If it's genuinely useful and/or makes you happy, it's fine to keep or acquire. I draw, paint and sew, so I have a couple of small drawers for utensils and a box of fabrics. What's important is to not start a hobby by buying a mountain of stuff before even knowing whether you'll be using any of it. If you let it grow organically and purposefully, regularly take stock and if necessary give things away, you should be fine :)
I am an ethnoarchaeologist and I was surprised by this video. And yet, I have collections of family albums, documents and even books in my library. People have always collected some junk but today's consumerist society has led to clutter and anxiety.
@Sponge Bob I watched it all the way through as a fun activity of choice during my vacation on the day of Christmas eve... so its not boring just not your thing. Maybe its because I am an anthropologist myself but I thoroughly enjoyed this.
I was an art collector and designer for years. My own home was packed. One day I read an article about Swedish death cleaning. I sold almost everything within 6 months and now live in a studio apartment with way more money and nothing I don't need and use. I'm a lot happier.
This is the third time in a week that I've seen someone reference Swedish death cleaning! I had never even heard of it before, so I'm thinking it's a sign
@@josephinecunningham5998 you get rid, declutter, tidy up and organise all your stuff so your children don't have to do it when you die. As it happens I live in Sweden and have yet to meet anyone who's done this! It's one of the many international myths about what Swedes do. Like, for example, they do *not* work a four-day week.
Thank you for setting the record straight. I live in Germany and it’s laughable how Americans, who probably never been, say all German food is Bio. Everyone eats healthy & there’s no obesity. Germans do not buy frozen foods. And yes Germans have large freezers in their garages and American size refrigerators in their kitchens. The ones Ive met love these conveniences. The women in the documentary need to travel or travel more.
I like how this documentary acknowledges contributing factors to the clutter problem. It’s not an individual problem. It’s clearly a cultural issue. Five stars ⭐️
I didn’t know this until I decided to marry an American man…. I’m Mexican and we do not keep a lot of things or buy a lot because there’s not enough money like there is here to just keep buying more and more stuff. I’m finding myself very stressed a lot of the times because I see stuff EVERYWHERE, stuff that is not mine. And a new package every two or three days that’s isn’t mine either… I see the clutter and it brings so much stress to my life because i didn’t grow up like that and this for him is clearly something normal…. I see it in his parents. I don’t know what to do and how to get him out of the consumerism mentality.
@@ShirleyYooGeste Your right!! I have it completely reversed! How stupid of me to think that people who are not in control of their actions and feel overwhelmed, are liable to blame everyone but themselves. Sorry about that. I'll start reversing my thoughts right away.
@@fellowcitizen I would say personally that wants and needs are different. We all have needs and so it's necessary to take, it's taking more than is necessary that we can all fall into and should avoid. Also desiring unnecessary things, but the media's built around making us crave those. Some saying goes, "Ideas should be treated like guests, desires like small children." :)
@@jenniferytbe3327 We all need to Jennifer over something! Not McDonalds for me though, I aren't tempted by any of their offerings no matter what name they give 'em, or how unrealistically delicious and lush they make 'em look on the adverts. I know they're all dead animal on cheap white bread dressed up as something special! (in my opinion of course! :) )
Damn Maggie you nailed it. I mean, I am a shopaholic too. This is a serious addiction. I shop so much even if I don't need it. I am afraid of not having it or needing it one day and can't afford it. I have boxes and boxes of things. I say, when I read your comment, you made me cry. you touched. I need help and I never like asking people for help. God has blessed me with the ability to buy and God knows I take advantage of it. I buy things for others. I buy good stuff so I think. But, I am not rich I am feeling depressed inside. I have many wants. Thanks, Maggie!! you nailed it.
The family that opened their home for this piece, did so much good for anyone watching. For me, this is my house and the houses of many of my friends. It definitely helped me see my house as an outsider would. Ms Repath-Martos is an amazing person for inviting others into her home, she is pretty cool.
Yes,she was very brave and a kind,lovely person to brave getting critical remarks from the likes of me. I thought her house was nice. It was like the house I grew up in in England but no stuff as we had no money. Just a pleasant modestly furnished house.
About 3 years ago I sold everything and moved into a 24' RV. I now travel and live in National Forests and Bureau of Land Management lands. I never once missed all the crap I gave away or sold.
Heck, I simplified my life..Moved into my SUV, travel everywhere..helping families,..homeschooling, etc..and it's a Much Happier Life for me.. It's Not for everyone. You must have an Income Stream, be Fearless, cautious, perceptive, intuitive, Educated about 'The Matrix/System, healthy, smart and yet emotionally available & open for your families..
I had to clear out my mother and grandmother's home. Both had a lot of clutter. They passed 19 months apart, so on top of the grieving, I was overwhelmed and angry. I swore I would never do that to my kids and have been downsizing since.
Are you serious? What, your mother and grandmother weren't allowed to have their own lives just because YOU have to deal with their stuff after they died? Jesus, talk about a selfish child. They didn't do anything to YOU. They lived their lives, and guess what? Mom wasn't just your mom - she was a woman with her own identity and desires. Getting all pissy because she didn't anticipate The Awful Inconvenience to her spoilt brat kid after she died only shows how self-absorbed you are. GROW UP. No matter how "decluttered" you manage to force yourself to be, YOUR kids are going to have to deal with YOUR stuff too. Hopefully they won't be as whiny as you.
I cleaned out my grandad's old shed and it was so great to spend all day seeing all of the junk he collected. Ultimately I knew I had to treat it like what it was and it really was just junk at the end of the day. But it was a fascinating experience for me.
It's such a waste of time, money, emotions etc. My parents are long divorced and each has a house full of stuff that will need to be disposed of when they pass away. I will likely be the one stuck doing most of the work with my dad's house and certainly my fair share with my mum's.
When I was 14, my sister married. In a matter of one year, she and her husband moved 3 times. I was volunteered to help them move. For me, this cured any inkling of holding or collecting just about anything. Every six months, I dutifully go thru my stuff and purge. I live my life as if I have to get up and move out. Things are simpler for me.
I just stopped buying stuff and have only necessities. I have a clean apartment and take care of myself. Living healthy biking running eating good food. I don't care about things but people.
My mother and I moved a lot when I was a child, and I adopted the same mentality for a long time. I kept my possessions down to what would fit in a few boxes. But after marrying someone who likes to collect things and having four children that we over-buy for, I slipped into bad habits for a while. But I still faithfully purge every season, at least for my own possessions. It's hard to get the other people in my household on board!
The toy issue is so tough. My wife and I are constantly having to tell grandparents our kids don't need more cheap plastic toys (I don't me literally cheap, but just toys that end up being junk in a couple months). It's a constant struggle and it's exhausting having to constantly deal with questions about what the kids want for birthday/Christmas. And our parents don't even buy that much compared to the stories I hear from friends. After several discussions about this with our parents they are trying to resist the impulse of buying things for the grandkids simply because they can. My inlaws have started giving experiences instead of physical items. Day trips or overnighters to local places. It's still a constant battle, but getting our 'village' on board really has helped.
The gift battle is definitely a tough one. For many people, "giving" is their love language and its often easiest for them to see their love in something physical. I started trying as a teen to ask for gift cards, not to reduce clutter, but so I could go try on things rather than people try to guess and send me things I couldn't use or fit. I'm still working on it with my parents, and I've made some progress, but my mom gets a kick out of full stockings and seeing big pile under the tree. Or society tries to sell people the idea that giving lots of items (especially if you got a great deal on it) is the best way to show you love someone, when in reality you could be hurting them with it.
This issue is history now for me but it's a difficult one for many to solve. We lived overseas, well away from families so the never ending deluge of gifts never really happened. What I can remember though is separating loved items into multiple boxes. Each of these would be available for several days & then be replaced by a 'fresh' box of toys maybe not seen for a few weeks. All contents were labelled & it required a bit of work sometimes updating/ adding recently acquired things but seemed to work a treat for both the older ones over the years & helped me keep a little sanity.
I had this problem. It’ll drop waaay off when they get just a little bit older. By the time my kids were around 8 they were only interested in legos, cars, and nerf. I don’t have girls so I don’t know how much worse it is there. But I do know it just all of a sudden stopped one year. And I sold everything they grew out of playing with each year they outgrew it. Of course I don’t know your in laws but have hope. It will get better. But we had to have those conversations too. We told grandma to keep a lot of it at her house and then she couldn’t believe how fast her Florida room became a play room! Have hope!
I am a woman, and an old one. I worked all of my life. I don't think some people understand how hard it is to manage your home after a long stressful day at work. I believe women working outside the home is part of the cause of this common lifestyle. When I was young, most women were at home all day. They had enough time and energy to truly manage the home. Homes were more sparsely outfitted and most food was home cooked. Now that I am retired, I am paring my possessions down big time. I will still have too much, but my home will be truly functional for the first time in years. By the time it was out of control, I just couldn't do the emotional work of getting everything in order.
I think that housekeeping has been completely neglected during my generation. You have both partners working full time and buying waay too much crap you don't need. Which clutters the house. And doing the household isn't anyones task in particular. Just whoever happens to have some time left. I realized lately that all the stuff that you have laying around unorganized has a price. Clutter stresses you out and makes you feel like you lost control. And the price is often much higher than the material thing is worth. As a kid my dad drilled into me that i shouldn't throw stuff away. So it took me some time as an adult to flip the switch and finnally get rid of all that crap. It feels much better.
You mean, women should give up our sovereign personhood, our being, our aspiration and settle into one normalised singular hetero lifestyle being excluded from public life? And having no independence? Stuff that. I love my work and my child is 30 and doing her doctorate, having always had a mum who worked. The women leading this study have worked, they don't have these issues. If you can't see the consumer life pressed on Americans by advertising but rather you blame women, you are not interested in solving the problem. If telling a whole group what to do is your solution, you are not democratically minded.
@@lizziebkennedy7505 or a family of two should be paid enough to decide if one of them wants to be a house wife/husband or if they both want to work and hire a maid.
@@lizziebkennedy7505 that's not what i got out of that comment at all, this is a really bad faith interpretation of her comment. the commenter never once said "this is how it should be" or "it would be better if women stayed at home," they were just making the observation that when women entered the workforce, no one has time to tidy the house anymore or cook all of the meals. there was no value statement in pointing that out.
I quit my job recently to be a stay at home wife. I have time to do everything now! The house is immaculate, I cook delicious healthy meals from scratch and far less stressed than I've ever been. It's certainly difficult for two working persons to keep on top of everything and be mentally and physically healthy.
This is why I started doing an architectural degree , because I could not understand the way houses have been designed over the centuries. When I became a stay at home mum the regular house design didn’t flow or work, the kitchen was always the smallest room in the house. The laundry was not near the kitchen, there wasn’t a bathroom close by often, areas for the children to play next to the kitchen weren’t there, etc. etc. I’m guessing or it is true that most architects have been men who have not spent time at home with children for any real length of time. I think that the home can make or break a family, especially a very busy family the house needs to work properly for that family. Hopefully in the future it will be normal to have a different design of house that suits family life better and the first thing that needs to change is making the kitchen the largest part of the house with multiple stations, in the kitchen, near the kitchen or beside the kitchen.
You're so right!!!!!!! One of my peeves is how men design kitchens but women work in them. Cupboards too high and counters too high for short women, and we have to wash dishes in a sink with NO direct overhead light. SMH.
I agree it's been the DESIGN of homes that's the problem. I think the open kitchen/dining/living room concept gets it right for function. To me, the kitchen DOESN'T need to be bigger, just laid out against one wall and with ALL DRAWER cabinets at the bottom. I think vertical space needs to be used MORE. Items less-used can be stored on higher shelves. Laundry room should be near bedrooms, NOT the kitchen. CLOSETS need to have doors that allow full-access to the space, meaning floor-to-ceiling doors that open from end to end. The number of bathrooms need to equal or exceed by one, the number of bedrooms. Bedrooms need to be large enough to move around in, not closet-sized.
An important thing to remember though is how rooms used to function when they were built vs. now. They haven't always functioned the same way they do now, nor was there as much stuff. Newer American homes have large kitchens because they now house far more stuff (especially food and small appliances) that 50 years ago people didn't have. 100 years ago, people didn't spend time in the kitchen - it was for cooking only. In Europe and other countries, they don't prioritize large kitchens like we do because they generally have less stuff and food shop more often, requiring less storage. Bedrooms were far smaller because all you did in them was sleep - you didn't have loads of toys, sitting areas, or massive wardrobes. Especially in homes that the family had wealth, kitchens and laundry were more often used by staff and not meant to be seen by visitors (or owners), hence why they often had 2nd staircases in the back of the house. Culturally, children were not a major part of design because they didn't have nearly the volume of stuff they do now, and little ones would've either been with a nanny or in the same room as you.
One of my mum's uncle back in the 80s (if i remember correctly) designed his home with a huge kitchen, they used to host a lot of people, especially family, keep in mind that i am talking about south asian family, and when we usually visit other family memebers we usually cook together or help the hosts out in the kitchen especially ladies and kids would gather in and around kitchen area most of the times, although overtime these huge family gathering things isnt as common anymore, but my mum still loves larger kitchen we have a lot stuff we need to store😆 Edit: hosts*
I am retiring in a foreign country, and I just got rid of 99% of my possessions. I feel completely liberated. Almost every time I threw out something or donated it or gave it away, I felt a sense of shame that I had wasted my money and space on that unnecessary thing - and then the environmental impact of producing all these things! Such a shame. I could have been traveling all these years instead of working just to pay rent or mortgage and buy stuff.
I am Greatful that we are debt free. MY husband is my financial advisor and accountant- his father taught him amazing life skills including respecting women n children, being faithful. Rest in Peace my dear father in law.
When I was born and raised in the Soviet Union, I would get 1 toy a year. By the age of 7, I had 7 amimal plush toys and 2 dolls. I had the happiest childhood. I spent most of my time running outside and playing imaginary games while my parents worked in a hospital and my grandparents tended to the land. All we ate was organic. We did have central water or heating till I was 6. It was still the happiest childhood.
I can relate. We were poor, it's not the lack of money hurt me the most but the bickering for it and mentality that you need to have more to be happy. I am born at the beginning of the collapse of soviet union so people's greed took over the reasoning. To this day some of my relatives live in a junkyard with never satisfying appetite. I moved abroad years ago and i see that western Europeans have less stuff but what they really want. People with money will be just as unhappy always spending for more as people with no money not having enough to spend. You are the richest person when you have enough for you! You are at your best and free of the manipulative consumer mentality.
An interesting point never addressed in this video is the amount of time the parents are commuting to where they work. A long commute is killer; it might be part of why people rely on prepared meals rather than cooking from scratch; it might also be why they don’t have enough time to declutter their homes; it might be part of why they’re self-soothing themselves and their kids with endless shopping and the acquisition of yet more stuff.
Not to mention the amount of time it takes to commute to the store! If it's 15 minutes away and parking is easy and the lines aren't long, it's no big deal to go there repeatedly during the week. If it's 30 minutes away and crowded during the time you have to shop, you're gonna want to do everything in one trip, because the time of transport and waiting in lines is basically gonna be the same every trip, regardless of how much or little you buy.
Good thought, my husband works at job he really just comes home to sleep. I stay home and make sure everything is done so he can rest. If we both worked like I used to. Laundry stayed in the dryer, never cooked to tired. Cleaning the bare minimum.
We downsized 5 years ago getting rid of 90% of our possessions. It had taken 2 years to achieve this. Even then we stupidly paid for a year’s worth of storage after moving, after 12 months we couldn’t recall what was in the boxes so got rid of those things too saving £180 a month! We’d wasted £2000 in a year storing stuff. We now have a ‘one in one out’ policy. Anything we buy has to replace an item which we place by the front door to await taking to the Charity shop. It works very well.
Although I don't live like this and never could (it would stress me out!), there is a great deal of overly harsh criticism. These families are not simplistically "greedy," they are a product of a fast-paced, stressful and materialistic world that runs on consumerism.
I agree that people are a product of their environment, but I don't think other commenters implied that the kinds of families featured in this program are "greedy". I think parents are simply trying to provide for their children in the way of goods, food, a nurturing environment, time, and time. Yes I said "time" twice.
Yes, plus living in a space for a long time aides in that as well. And learning how to organize. We sometimes think, if it's out of sight, we're organized and everything is good, but that's simply not true. It's very sad.
I despise the effects of consumerism in my life. I’m always aware of when it’s happening and definitely stressed by it. This is why I’m up at 4:30am decluttering. Lol. Slowly but surely I WILL get this stuff out!
I'm in the same boat! I've become more aware of my hyper consumeristic habits and now I've been spending the last few years trying to undo it. I'm making progress, but honestly I can't wait to be done because this is super stressful. Good luck on your decluttering journey!! You got this!!
Same. I see how my kids are obsessed with consumerism and electronic devices but so detached from nature. All I want to do is move to the country and live a simple life. We will someday soon.
What are the top 3 things you have decluttered?. I gave away a bag of books- too late to bring 1 back it's ok we can live without that 1 book as we have 200 more.
@@1mourningdove54 i moved in with my daughters family and had an estate sale at my former house. That ment getting rid of a lot of "stuff".when i boxed up the stuff that didn't sell i had to wonder why i had all of this stuff in the first place. The second hand stores have made a lot of money of my stuff i didn't need in the first place
No seriously. I’m only 21 but I grew up poor. I never got bored. I would play with my few stuffed animals. I would make tea parties or go on “adventures” with them. My brother grew up with so many toys and electric yet he’s “bored.”
My neighbor's kid is obsessed with buying new toys. They demanded their parents to buy them new toys every single day. The toys are piled up in huge plastic boxes. That's more than enough toy to play all day. I think the kid is more excited to get new toys in the store than actually playing with it. The kid is only 2 years old :/
Unless we are on FB. Then we show off only the parts of our lives that look good lol. I post a lot of recipes and talk on FB about how I am going to cook them. You would think I am a master chef that cooks amazing creative meals every night. Not. 😄 *BUT I guess my comment confessing I do this makes your point about Americans true! lol!
As someone who has done this, for me you are exactly right. I had a failing marriage, no attention from my husband who was in his own world. I got my oxytocin from online shopping. I then realised what i was doing and that "stuff" could never help me. Now i am getting rid of stuff. Feels much better when you realise why you are doing it. Trying to fill a void. Some level of control when you control when you have very little.
Kathryn Ruhl I agree. My mom is a hoarder and so is her sister. It comes from not having your needs reliably met. This toxic feeling of lack causes you to keep things you may need. As we lead more and more isolating lives we buy more stuff to replace the relationships we are missing with our community.
Since I stopped eating processed, canned, and boxed foods (and eat only fresh, whole foods), my pantry and fridge look almost empty. And I like it that way.
I have found the opposite. I have been eating that way since the 1960s. Fresh produce takes up a ton of space in the fridge. I never have space enough for more than three days. Ialways make a full pot of soup so there are individual serving sizes in the freezer and family sizes. Dried beans in the pantry ,seeds for making sprouts and such.
What makes me sad the most, is that this will all end up in landfills polluting our precious planet, just so we fill a void, I think the void is the lack of human touch and contact.
Makes me wonder how much our frequenting shopping centers (and subsequently over-buying) is also due to lack of public spaces/plazas for families. I know my family will go to Target just because there's not much else to do. Buying becomes the activity.
@@TheCoregon Oh, I agree with you wholeheartedly. I guess I'm just thinking about how our limited environments contribute to this anxiety. Family friendly (free or inexpensive) public spaces for community gathering/entertainment is very limited. Therefore we are relegated to these private spaces that offer cheap goods.
Some suggestions: If you go to the store to buy some arts and crafts for redecorating a room. A scenic drive while listening to an audiobook with snacks from Dollar Tree. A drive to local points of interest. On a hot day if you can afford it rent a room to hang out and swim. A museum or a loving museum.
Yep. Shopping is a form of entertainment. What poeple need to understand is that it can be BAD entertainment. Gambling has also become endemic in our population. It distresses me how gambling on baseball games has become "a thing"; pushed endlessly on tv during baseball games. Yes, it is entertainment, no doubt, but it is BAD entertainment!
A few tips that may help: Taking pictures of items before giving them away helps greatly if you have attached feelings or memories to them. Giving items away to close friends and family is much easier than a second hand store for most people. If clothes and shoes are an issue give them to a shelters, employment preparedness programs, your local school district. For most, it is easier when you know that it will be used for good. Use a folding banquet table or a completely cleared off table to use as a sorting station.
@@twodogzdogue8710 You're welcome. My pleasure. These tips were shared with me and helped me a lot. It's an ongoing process but after a few intial hurdles it becomes easier and manageable.
Totally correct about giving to those I love being easier. Another is giving to someone I know, like work, and they legitimately need the item. I don’t like to give things to people, even loved ones, if they already have more than enough of what I’m trying to purge. I still remember giving a nice set of steak knives I got at a Christmas exchange to a newly wed at work. I brought them there for anyone to take but mentioned them to her. She took them, thanked me and told me her and her husband didn’t have any. Years later I’m still gratified by giving them to her because she honestly needed them.
@@IanWhiddett i especially like the idea of photographing items that I know I will miss. Some things that were with me for decades, are now gone forever. All I have is the memories. Pictures in a shoebox would be comforting to have. I have used your other ideas. When your item will be appreciated by someone, it makes you feel better about parting with it.
Yep, I see so many co-workers crying broke all the time, yet they eat fast food for lunch everyday and buy cheap crap, simply because it's cheap. But, if they were to track how much they spend a month on that crap, they would see just how much money they're wasting.
There has never been a better feeling than getting rid of "stuff" in our lives. The less we have the lighter and better we feel. The less we have, the less it costs to store, the less to clean, the more freedom there is in our lives. Wonderful video! :)
MY FATHER-WD DRV US AROUND TOWN' STATION WAGON- OHN BULK DAYONEC AH MONTH AFTR SUPPER.......HE'D PIK OR EYEBALL -TRASH/BULKED ITEMS -LAMPS FUNITURE-APPALIENCES'.....ODSS & ENNDS THN THER WERE THE FLEA MARKETS-ON SAT'RENTED AH TABLE OR CONSIGHNED ITEMS TO FRENDLY NEIBORS/VENDERS' after small repairs/folk art- bartringm storage wasnt ah hoarders pickers tyipe of home we had yard always had ah place outside/shed /shop [ work aria]- hwever- we were lower middle class to poor-no ther were supermarket bins wyth cheep sneekers' ther were; no frills canned foods ect ect' building dept -slowed to no more hammer/nail labor mother had to reclaim her bar maid good looks to make ends meet' but we were happy ah beach going to parent happy family of 7 5 kids]-.. whn ther were so mnny others that had the picket fence tyipe of homes - threw financial strain ' .then came the devorce'or ' abandment - of fleeing fathers'.............so unles u had un adultraited steddy gran parents ah home on mothers side or fathers side to fall back onto 'shelter/roof- then u ended up split up or took to shady areas of low income subsidized housing - projects wher ther was ah hustle to get caught upp into ah - the prowess of - young bucks ' eyeballing ure sisters',[ seeded on tru love ] pregnetcys - thus started the ball rolling...of harder hardshyips/MRMM
"the less to clean, the more freedom there is in our lives." Brilliant words to say to someone who nags about cleaning. I also say, "I doubt anyone will ever say on their death bed, 'You know, I wish I had spent more time cleaning.' "
A friend of mine had to move and downsize drastically. She tried an experiment where she had only the barest minimum number of objects that she needed. It was an eye opener. I think she had less than 30 things, not counting food and minimal clothing. That is counting bed linens, kitchen items, a towel and toothbrush, etc. it is amazing how little we really “need.” The average home has thousands upon thousands of items.
There’s nothing like knowing you’re going to have to pack everything up, load it all up in an U-Haul, drive it to the new house, unload everything, then find a new home for everything to light that de-cluttering spark lol
❤🎉 yessss--- Earlier this year (I that mom overwhelmed by all the clutter) I realized I desperately needed a personal vacation. ☆☆☆ THEN I realized, I wouldn't come home from it and if I did, I'd probably rather unalive myself. ☆☆☆ So, after trying to declutter, (it deeply upset my partner) I went on sabbatical (strike.) He moved out, left all the shit behind. Now I'm gutting the place and moving into a studio with the bare minimum. So excited!!! Traveling taught me a lot about how less is more. Now I will be on permanent vacation 😎 🙌
I love that this topic is covered in a non-judgmental way....this really encourages me to consider changes that are possible regardless of where I land on the consumerism spectrum.
Great documentary. I own a moving company and I witness first hand on a daily basis the amount of unnecessary crap people own. Americas hoarding problem is very real and affects more people than you would think. Its great for business when you are a professional household mover but I feel its bad for American society as a whole. I find in general the more stuff people have the more stressed they are during the move and not to mention the massive moving bill they are faced with when we finish. Do yourselves a favor people and get rid of your junk.
I wish it were that easy. Mom was a hoarder. Me and my sister both ended up with depression / hoarding issues. Mom passed recently, I inherited the childhood home and I just feel somewhat helpless when it comes tossing the endless piles of stuff.
@@phiksit I'm in your same position right now. I feel paralyzed and don't know what to keep and what to get rid of. I am so sentimentally attached to things, but there is no way I can use and enjoy everything I already own and everything I inherited. I'm afraid I'll get rid of something and then regret it and feel bad about it forever so I'm stuck right now amongst a LOT of belongings.
@@phiksit start small...1st give urself time and have a reason WHY you want to declutter....once u have ur reason that will become ur self motivation....you have a goal....start small ...one junk drawer at a time...put some music get comfy clothes and keep it eyes on the goal....you will get there my friend Happy New Year you are off to a great start ☺️
@@phiksit I hear you! My Mom and youngest brother share the family home. Both are hoarders! I shudder to think of the mess left when my Mom dies. Almost 80 years of stuff she's collected that fills a 1400 square foot home plus double garage. My Dad's things are still there as well. It will take multiple dumpsters to get rid of it. Not counting the items we will save. Family pictures and a some mementos will be kept obviously. Good luck with your issue!
I grew up in the North of Spain but I have lived in London with my English husband for 30 years. It always baffles me that other than the huge TV hit programme The Repair Shop, there are literally no repair shops in the High Street at all in the U.K. In my native Asturias I used to take my good quality shoes to repair and have their soles rechanged several times before having to throw them away. They used to last for years and years, and three or four pairs would have been more than enough for me. I always enjoyed making my own clothes and sewing, mending and recycling clothes. It is a creative exercise to figure out how to make a new outfit out of old ones. My family was middle class, we were definitely not poor, not in the least, but when we were teenagers and we learnt to sew, both my sister and I tried to outdo each other with our inventions, making dresses out of old curtains (like Scarlett O’Hara, ha ha🤣), and out of blankets, etc. Waste not, want not was a truly useful motto. If your TV or radio, or toaster, umbrella, etc, packed up, you simply took it to be repaired. It is not possible to do that here as there are no businesses to take these things to. It is, as it has been mentioned, a cultural issue. I have counted 26 pairs of shoes in my downstairs cupboard. I probably only used 5-6 out of those. Shame on me
Teresa yo soy de Madrid y vivi en Londres a finales de los 80 y todo lo quería, volví a Madrid con un gran maleton de ropa que al final no use , mi madre trajo un montón de trastos también. Ahora estoy en el proceso de regalar casi todo , la sensación de libertad es maravillosa , la tv que tengo es de los 90 como poco ( una vecina no la quería ) y no quiero más que lo preciso y poco .PD yo también llevaba los zapatos a reparar y mi madre me hacía los vestidos de niña . Greetings from Madrid 💖💕💕
You're basically telling me how old you are with that narrative. Everything was expensive and made out of metals, wood, leather, bones, and natural fibers right up to the middle of last century, when plastics began to take over. That cheapened the cost of consumer goods, leading to the wasteful disposable pattern you described.
No shame. Glory. Because you can now donate to others as you would have others donate unto you. Not shame. Just Opportunity. Gregg Oreo long Beach Ca Etats Unis
I was brought up in that repair/make do and mend era. Like you, taught all the sewing, knitting, crochet, cooking skills and many more fixi-it skills. Here's why there are so few repair shops now..... Several years back I bought a pair of high-end summer shoes, top brand, good quality, would last for years...or so I thought. Wore them for a summer. Next couple of summers I couldn't wear them due to a foot injury which took time to heal. Got them out the next summer, wore them to go to the local shops and found I was leaving a trail of the moulded sole behind me! Took them to a reputable shoe repair shop, where the manager explained that they couldn't be repaired because the moulded sole is actually designed by the manufacturer to disintegrate after 2-3 years. In normal use the wearer would just think that they'd worn out the sole. We are being scammed every which way. And manufacturers are deliberately fuelling this constant buying - thus clutter and hoarding - culture.
Absolutely, you are right and I got to the same conclusion when we were told that a 5 year old TV from a famous brand could not be repaired! An artificial end timeline is already built-in a lot of the items we buy.
Reminds me of my mom, I was the only person that cared about the problem. I remember being like 10 years old wanting to just throw everything away. It stressed me out so much just seeing a giant mess everywhere I looked. I remembered being so embarrassed to invite my friends over..Now a-days I just donate all the things I dont need. It feels really nice to get rid of things.
This is me too! I have my own house now and my family always remarks how clean and tidy it is. They don’t realize how much of a slave they are to junk!
Yep. Except we didn’t have much “clutter” in my house that wasn’t alive. My mother collected pets. We had countless cats, five dogs, (two of which were Great Danes) some rats, a couple Guinea Pigs, and a Ferret. All in a 700 sq ft house with five kids and two adults. The dogs and cats defected and urinated in the house often, the caged animals often sat in their own excrement until there were maggots, the dogs tore through the house, from the muddy backyard, flinging mud upon the walls, tracking it all over the floor, and onto our beds. I was mortified as a child, and the only one of the seven people living there who seemed to notice. I was also the youngest. Starting around age 9, I would wait til the entire house was asleep to try and clean. I tried in vain to scrub the carpet that had been ruined by dog urine, to wash the caked-on mud off the wood floors, and to clean the cat feces out of the only tub. As an adult, I am bordering on OCD tendencies when it comes to maintaining a clean house. I’ve been late to work or events, lost sleep, and had attacks of seemingly uncontrollable rage when a mess is made. I LOVE animals, but I’ve only had one or two at a time. Especially when my kids were small. I made sure they were a breed/type that I could easily care for while not triggering my “OCD”.
When my kids were little, I stayed home with them. My best friend worked, so she used sitters. I couldn't afford a lot of toys, and often our stuff was from garage sales, or passed down through family. But I played with my kids. Every single day. My best friend didn't have free time to play with her kids, but she had the extra income to buy them everything. My kids used to whine that her kids "have everything." And her kids used to whine that my kids had "someone to play with them." All of the kids turned out fine. But it just goes to show you that the grass is always greener. I think the yearning for "whatever" thing we don't have , has become the human condition. Hence the number of people on medications and suffering this addiction or that. We as a society need to address that, and start encouraging our children to figure out what they love and can be passionate about in this life.
Maree Bow I stayed home too. those were the best years. but I later felt guilty that my son didn't have financial support starting out. yet, I think it makes them better people somehow. people who grow up with money, doesn't have to be a fortune, have no idea what it is like to not have it.
Maree Bow yes! omg yes! I've been living on my own for about 5 years now, I don't keep anything in my apartment unless I'm going to use it, the only "clutter" me and my husband have is two small boxes; one has me wedding dress and the other has some of my husband's memory stuff from before we were married. Right now I'm helping my parents replace their old carpet with hardwood floors. Just seeing all the absolute junk my parents bought me when I was a kid makes me ill. so much useless garbage toys that I'm fairly certain only held my attention for a few minutes before being thrown in a junk pile. My parents pretty much bought me whatever I wanted because I asked for much less than my older sister, but no way I needed all the dolls and robot dogs they bought me. this isn't even to mention all the junk they bought themselves. My mother apparently has no less than 5 unopened mascaras, still in their plastic wrapping. They have a million plastic tubs for storing leftovers, none of which have matching lids so they have to plastic wrap over them. They also have a set of dinner plates yet use paper plates all the time. So much waste! why?!
Maree Bow Do you think your kids are now creative? I don't mean as in making things but like figuring out a way around problems, generally bright and positive in outlook, independent etc. Thx I have a theory that if we don't as a first impulse resort to money when faced with a problem or issue, it forces us to look for other ways to deal with it and often discover extra benefits in the process.
srini gypsy, how right you are. What many people call creativity, I have always seen as common sense. You take what you have and use it for what you need. We have never had much money and I don't really miss it. I still make what I call, "McGuyver Meals": you take what's lying around the kitchen, throw it together, and if it doesn't blow up, you eat it. I used to make all our clothes (and I more or less taught myself how to do it). I've never considered that to be a big deal, to tell you the truth.
Shannon Lueck same here, I grew up in clutter. In my opinion it was clutter. Once I left home at 22, i kept my stuff to a minimum. Only what I needed. Now 31 and continue to do this. I go through my stuff my kids stuff, every room once a month and take out what is not needed.
@@mariamcclish4197 I hope you discuss it with your kids because Ive heard of multiple hoarder stories that started because their parents would discard their items without asking them so when they became adults they would never throw things away
Hoarding is what happens when cluttering gets out of control and taken to an absolute, beyond reasonable, extreme. It can happen to the people in this video too, if they, for one, develop an irrational attachment to everything tied to their children. And it can happen if in general, the items they're accumulating reminds them about some nostalgic past or "better days" that they long miss and, of course, are never coming back. If people like the ones in the video are not consciously aware of that possibility, and fail to put themselves in check, then the situation of cluttering could spiral out of control becoming downright hoarding. This is something we should all be careful about. I've even seen "Hoarders on wheels" too. Seriously, no joke! These hoarders on the go are those are the people you see driving around in a real messy car where trash and personal stuff are clearly visible thoughout the interior. Over time, things can gradually pile up and if we're not alert and attention it can happen to any one of us. We gotta be on top of this stuff taking out whatever trash we have every time we exit the car. Even with feeling that way about what we ought to do, I try to not be overly judgemental towards those who are truly engaged in hoarding behaviors. I don't know what's going on in their lives. So I actually feel bad for a lot of these people. Many need professional help, even if they don't realize it. Some episodes of A&E's show "Hoarders" were difficult to watch. Many of these hoarders were elderly living in their house filled with mostly trash and clutter that they treasure as their life meaning that often every bit of it reminded them of their past or of loved ones, some who have longed passed away. With piled up personal items, trash and debris (including smelly rotten food items) going from floor to ceiling throughout the home, some houses seen on "Hoarders" are no longer fit for (safe) Human habitation.
The hoarders always have filth feces animal litter trash and broken things broken plumbing broken ceilings Broken Walls broken Mechanicals it's different than having tons of usable beautiful things
To be honest, I think many of these houses look way over stuffed. It's almost hoarding. I think someone from outside the US might think it was hoarding. I live in the US and I want to move away from having a lot of stuff. I don't want my future to look like this. Hoarding versus very cluttered is just a label.
I am Brazilian, but I lived in Michigan for 10 months. The family that hosted me for a month (before I could find a place of my own) had "200 hundred" items in their pantry, and I would say that half of them had already expired. Coming from a country where there's so much poverty (and I did see poverty in Michigan as well)...that really saddened me!!!!
Grandparents such as myself, didn't get toys or trinkets all year when we were growing up. It was only Christmas or Birthday that you got gifts. These occasions were such a magical time and opening those presents was such a wonderful experience. What we got lasted us until our next birthday or Christmas. Kids today are given so much stuff throughout the year....Christmas and birthdays have lost the magic!
It is true that this generation did not really stock pile toys. There is other stuff however that older people do have much more of and tend to hold on to, which is probably a sort of compensations for the lack they once experiences: Porcelain, greeting cards, decoration, cups and dishes and whatnot, toys and trinkets from the children and grandchildren. Not to mention the massive wooden furniture and layers of curtains, bedsheets, napkins and tablecloths. At least that's what I'm observing in my work as an organizing coach. I ask a young woman for a glass of water, I get a glass of water. I ask and elderly woman for a glass of water, I get a pretty tray with a pretty coaster on it with and empty glass on it and a tiny porcelain jug with water in it and a cloth napkin next to it. Sure, it's pretty and lovely, but the amount of space required to store all that in 30 variants... (Mind you this might not apply for the US in the same way as I am in europe)
My mom used to always tell me "not every item is a memory". You can't keep everything nor should you. My kids are now grown and getting rid of unnecessary "stuff" from 25 years of raising kids is such a freeing feeling.
M Cutrone It was crap when it was purchased... It does not "become" crap. We need to make better buying decisions and spend our time (money) on worthwhile experiences rather than more "stuff".
J Applic I stopped going into stores and watching TV. Getting bombarded with "stuff" seems to Jedi mind trick one into acquiring more stuff. I'm enjoying getting rid of things and watching RUclips/Netflix
With the death of my wife and two sons over the last 10 years, I've downsized 3 times. It is so liberating to get rid of accumulations of stuff that are no longer serving a purpose. I've used the criteria of: "if I were getting on a plane and leaving in 2 hours, never to return, what stuff would matter to me?" The rest of the stuff can be used by others and passed on or discarded. Another rule: If I croaked tomorrow, I want my living kids to be able to clean my house out in 8 hours. So far, I'm living by this and feel a much lighter existence. It's great! Loved this video; it is a gem. NOTE: I've wondered if our clutter also signifies boredom, attention deficit and a culture that is in need of instant gratification. Maybe a reason why our social/political culture is so vulnerable to the need for chaos and polarity that we now have in 2021?
I've analyze my stuff. Problem is I'm an artist. I see art in everything. Also the dollar store and thrift store made everything too cheap. I clear out about every 10 years but really not easy. I struggle with neat freak n artist. Constant conflict.
Sorry to hear that. I think because everyone is so glued to their phones + the economy and everything else going on over the past few years... everyone is just burnt out and bored.... I can only speak of how I'm feeling and if I'm feeling this way.... I know I'm the only one who feels this.
I'm sorry for your loss. I lost my dad at the beginning of the year and it was hard to go through all his and my old belongings to trash or keep. But since I didn't want to further clutter my own home I didn't end up keeping much stuff besides photos and some old clothing of his.
My mama was a hoarder she was my heart when she passed away in 2005 it broke my heart. I watched her spend her life accumulating things and not enjoying life. That changed me forever I have zero attachment to anything unless it’s a definite need.
The hoarding is a symptom of unresolved mental disorders. There was nothing you could have done to convince her of decluttering. My grandmother was also a hoarder. She was from time to time haveing a session where she moved the clutter from one place in her overcrowded apartment to another. But in reality she never decluttered. When she was ill, we had to declutter and clean her apartment to take better care for her. This made her totaly panic and beeing paranoid
I am from a south american country, and are considered middle class. I used to live in the States, and what overwhelmed me the most and seemed very strange is how children´s stuff literally took over all the households of american families I got to know. they had no more "adult" spaces, spaces for themselves, or to be with their partner, where children´s stuff was not involved. this kind of habit simply doesnt exist in latin america, children have toys in their room, and some may even have a "toy room", bur spaces like the living room, the master bedroom and dining area are left for the adults. it would be interesting to note how these different customs influence behaviour in children, boundaries, limitations, etc
Michelle rizo patron interesting. When I was growing up, I had two sisters and we had a play room and our bedrooms. But I think the rest of the house was just normal adult family space no toys. Now I am grown, I have a small two bedroom home with one small living room space. I have a baby and the living room has a baby play yard toys and other baby things. I don’t have a big enough house! Houses are god damn expensive and I’m being smart not to go overboard with a mortgage I can’t afford. If toys are in the living space so be it!
Michelle rizo patron It's having love for one's children. If it bothers you to see a kid's toy in your bedroom or living room don't have kids. It's kind of mean. Some people love their kids, especially Americans.
Saadi X That's not it at all. It's not mean to want your home to feel like one instead of a Toys 'R Us stock room. There's nothing wrong with limiting the toys to a certain area. Clutter can cause anxiety, and make a space feel uncomfortably tight no matter the size. Not to mention it can be a safety hazard. It's so unnecessary to have toys laying around in their bedroom AND the living room AND your bedroom AND the bathroom AND the kitchen. That's ridiculous. My Jamaican momma played with me and my toys in the living room- and sometimes even in her room- but my stuff was put in cubbies in my room afterwards. No one's talking about being disgusted at the sheer sight of any toys ever, but it's okay for them to have a place and stay in that place unless exceptions are made for whatever reason. If I'm folding laundry in my bedroom and my child wants to be in eyesight of me, I'd let them play with their toys in my room but they'll be going back into the kid's room afterwards. I don't think a parent is wrong for wanting a few spaces in the house just for alone time or with no kids' stuff. If you would let kids have their stuff taking over all of the walking and sitting space in the house all of the time, maybe you are the one who shouldn't have kids. Boundaries and organization matter; they are things that need to be taught and upheld. You must know nothing about creating healthy environments for family living. Don't spread foolishness smh
I would legitimately have a heart attack if my home looked like these homes. In my own life, I've noticed that when you have a specific decor design for a room, you don't continue to shop because the room is completed. Any new item would clash with the decor design for that room. I've noticed people who don't have a certain look in mind for a room continue to shop for knick nacks for a future design that they haven't settled on or will never execute.
Rachel Stephens That is so so true! Many friends of mine just go for a "general idea" for a room and suddenly every useless piece of decoration will seem fitting and they buy it
You can take it too far when having a specific decor... I remember a specific "Property Brothers" episode where one of the people on the show made their living room a little too nautical. They even incorporated shiplap into the design of the room!
That makes me seasick to think about it. You know what else cuts down on clutter? Moving. Even if you plan to stay where you are, try having a moving preparation day once a year or so.
When I was growing up, my dad was in the military and we moved somewhat frequently, about every 4 years. That isn't frequent to many other military families. It was often enough that we cleaned out every time we moved. We had little clutter and we didn't buy too much because we either couldn't afford it or it would be a pain to move next time. As an adult, I have left the city in which I attended college. I had a house for 23 years. It was big and the amount of clutter and dirt that accumulated was astounding when we moved. We sold, donated and threw out about half the stuff we owned. Some stuff we didn't even remember getting or using. One way to declutter is to either move or act as if you are moving. Get a pod and move out of your house one room at a time, then move back in. You'll dump a lot just because you get tired of sorting through stuff and moving it because you haven't seen or used it in years. It's better if you actually move, but moving out of a room completely changes how you see it and all the stuff in it. The stuff we own ends up owning us.
@@twodogzdogue8710 a pod is a storage container a company moves to your house so you can put stuff in it to store or move. When you're done, they will pick it up and store your things for you or move it to your new home for a fee, or they will pick up the empty one. It's a mobile storage and moving unit..
30 years living here. tons of stuff. my only regret is when i try to find a certain item. my neighbor (whose place is nice and neat) is often wanting to "borrow" my junk.
Yep. I moved a lot in my late teens/early twenties. Reached a point where I could literally fit my entire life in two suitcases. I kinda miss the simplicity of my life back then.
This was a wake up call for me. I don’t own much, but i am not a minimalist. Some people say that my flat is so empty or that i own so little kitchen tools. It makes one feel guilty for have ng so little. Now i see how free i feel inside. Not empty. Free.
! i completely understand how you feel. oftentimes i beat myself up for not wanting mote things, but i know if i buy things i genuinely do not need, i will ultimately feel bad
I can't stand clutter or waste myself . I'm single and retired . I sold my house and live in an apartment , which I love . My fridge looks empty because I grocery shop every two days and don't waste food . I think this is the way to go.
I live in a studio and everything i have i use daily...ive had to stock pile on food cause of this pandemic and my work hours and store hrs dont coincide for the moment but I cook all my meals and have enough food for the month
Oh man, I nanny in a home much like these ones, and it’s my job to clear out the endless clutter every day. It’s so exhausting. I’m working on teaching the kids to clean up after themselves and get rid of things they don’t need, but it’s a huge learning curve. My home had a single clutter room growing up. But it was nothing like this. It seems like a weird sickness to me. I’m interested to see what changes will occur within the family once I am able to get the space to a more livable level. And ohh my god. The “child centered house” comment is so real. Spot on.
I’m so glad I’ve never been attached to collecting “things”. It’s great to see that minimalism is growing. Crowded homes full of useless stuff make me stressed. I was born in the early 80s. I remember all the Houses full of china cabinets with stacks dishes for once a year use, rooms decorated that weren’t to be used, walls covered with figurines shelf’s. Barf. That. Is. Over.
Praise God that it's over...I don't understand how it ever started. Marketing I know, but hopefully that dies quickly after we've seen how bad it can get.
I grew up in the seventies. My brother and I owned 2 Curver boxes, filled with toys and games. At dinnertime we put all the toys back, washed our hands and sat down for dinner. No mess no argues. Those were simply happy times.
As a culture we are doing a lot mindlessly. What if we treated our spaces sacred? Passed the attitude of really taking care of our things to our children, to avoid shopping unless we really need something, practice putting off buying the "wants" purchasing the "needs" on an as needed basis, not stock piling. What if we made room in our lives to actually live fully, not just cope?
Perhaps we have escaped our responsibilities because of the need for constant entertainment in the way of our cell phones, face book, video games, etc. I look at my crap and just escape to RUclips.
Kathleen Gustafson I am probably the one person you describe to a "T"...My husband and I raised our now grown son and daughter in the '80's.We were not college educated working class,and we worked our behinds off just to pay rent,vehicle and basics.My kids never wore name brand,we shopped at Goodwill(and still love it) and I made every cent for groceries scream.I made my share of Hamburger Helpers,but rarely did we go fast food.I bought bulk large cans of vegs and Ziploc bagged them into portions and scoured sales.We paid our bills and had food and shelter.We never had much money but we learned to do the best we could do.Working poor- that was us.We made pizza,sushi,cookies etc at home and had fun.As tough as times were I relish the blessings it required.The stress was powerful but it's about priorities and responsibility that were choices freely made.I wish we'd had Costco or Sam's back then.We never had money or the luxury of accumulating clutter and it made all more creative and self sufficient out of necessity for doing/making things you can't waste money on.
Every time I see a documentary that talks about how infrequently families sit down to eat dinner together it surprises me all over again. Eating together is one thing that is so ingrained in our family, that once, when my kids were much younger, their father had to work too late for us to wait to eat with him, and so the kids and I ate together instead. And at bedtime that night, the kids asked why we never had dinner. Because despite everything else about our dinner being the same as usual, without all of us being there, they didn't even recognize it as "dinner". They saw it as "lunch" because lunch was a meal where it was just us without their dad, who was at work at lunchtime. So they thought we had 2 lunches that day. (Which I guess also had them thinking Mom was acting weird that day, but they were nice enough not to comment on that. ;) )
Same here! I've always had dinner with my family, even if it meant eating several hours later than I might prefer. It's crazy to me that so many people don't eat with their family.
The best thing I recently did was grab a large contractor bag and started going around my house, and anything I didn't really "need" I put in the bag and donated all of it to a local church. There is so much waste going into producing all these unnecessary things and so much money people spend on them. I have also stopped buying things I just wanted and didn't need. I only buy absolutely necessary things. I am now saving a lot more money and am taking better care of my health. Meal prepping homemade meals, eating fresh salads, and buying better quality food, instead of more food. My comfort is coming from feeling in control of my life and surroundings and not letting my possessions define or control me.
I think the root of everything is that our culture has stopped valuing our time -time spent at home, time spent caring for each other, cooking, cleaning, or just doing nothing. When women entered the workforce, that should have meant more flexibility for all workers, it shouldn't take 80 hours a week of labor to support a family!!!! Parents and caretakers, and everyone really - should have more time off! (While still making a living wage!)
I've always said ( and my mom) that most of these women do not HAVE to work. They want to work. They don't want to be home doing the things you mentioned. It's more fun leaving the house everyday and spending/wasting money on stuff. I still see the same thing constantly! The false feminist bull. They are NOT happy!
I do think there are a lot of cases where the family chooses to have two incomes due to the influences of feminism and materialism. Especially if both or one of the spouses is a high-wage earner. And I would agree with you that those women, and probably their families, are not actually happy. However, the rising cost of health insurance and groceries is simply unaffordable for many families on one income. My husband works hard 50+ hours/week at his job, and I watch other children in my home to earn money, and we still require government assistance for our children's healthcare. I know other "middle class" families where the wife has chosen to stay at home (or work from home) who are in the same situation. It's embarrassing! But if I were to work outside the home again, I would not make enough money to even set off the cost of childcare, let alone be able to afford health insurance without assistance if our income bracket went up. Thank God I love my job as wife and mom :) Some women who have more earnings potential can afford to pay for those services and choose to do so to avoid being on government assistance. I don't think you can say either decision is right or wrong without knowing someone's individual situation. It's a systemic problem. The single-income middle class is disappearing.
House pets YUP These women do nothing alllllll day, everyday. Even with several kids in the house. They whine and vent and complain about exhaustion. They wont even make dinner, or any other meal. Dad comes home from working all day and has to do dinner, etc. SERIOUSLY!?!
I have been a stay at home wife for almost 2 months....my place is way cleaner...the bed gets made daily...laundry and cooking get done. I love being home. Yes we have a tight budget to do this but it is really worth it. .
EXACTLY! Instead, people need $1,000 Iphones, tons of toys with no time to play with them for Christmas and Birthdays,... cars they can't afford,.. houses they can't afford, or (just getting by the mortgage payment with never money to save) God forbid if they had a real financial emergency. My ex-girlfriend's mom, would by her grandson toys, and expensive things he has never used, and never will! Why would you buy a kid an expensive basketball hoop setup, if the kid doesn't even like basketball! It's crazy things like this I'll never understand about people!
When my son and his wife bought their first home, I told them to shop my home and take anything they wanted. They showed up with a UHaul and did a good job. A lot was left, so I offered a lot more to a young couple at church with two kids and an empty house. Then I sized down from 4000 sf to 800 sf, and gave boxes to the Salvation army. I will never go back. Side benefit: my son got everything that he felt sentimental about while he was young. I assured my DIL than when time came to replace, it was hers to get rid of, no concern of mine.
@@Boules99 I have a neighbor who did. Her daughter moved a couple doors down. For weeks the girl was going back and forth with arm loads of stuff from her mom's place. I think that's a wonderful idea, too.
I've been living minimally for the last five years and it has taught me that the more stuff you have the more bad stuff you let in your life. Idk why it is like that it is just something I have noticed the people in my life with more stuff have way more issues, especially mental health issues. It's like having more stuff they think it hides their mental problems that they are not working on. One other thing I have noticed is when I started living this way, more bad people started coming into my life and I will explain what I mean by this. When a someone that isn't good for your life sees that you do not have much stuff they use it as a opportunity to come in the back door of your life disguising it with a "giving" type mentality. They bring you stuff every time they see you and if you accept just one of these gifts you open up a whole can of narcissism real quick. I have learned from my mistakes and I'm very thankful for that because my life has become a lot better and my mental health has improved significantly since I started living minimally
I've always been somewhat of a minimalist most of my life but have really focused on minimizing my apartment over the last three years and can testify that it is so freeing and peace-inducing.
I'm so glad that at the young age of 24 I have started to adopt a minimalist lifestyle and trying to also transition into a zero or at least minimal waste lifestyle.
I think zero waste is a wonderful goal. Minimalism as goal may or may not be for me, but I'm aiming for a lot less waste - either in food or 'things' I buy.
It's hard...I've given up slave and sweatshop clothing 10 times and have to keep trying. But I have a vision, in spite of living at poverty line on Social Sec. God has put a burden on me as a prayer for those poor factory workers.
I would DIE if people came into my house and saw all of the crap. This was so interesting and kudos to the families that opened their doors for the sake of research.
At least you know you have a lot of stuff. If you have the courage and will to minimise your possessions, it will transform your life for the better. You will feel more relaxed and liberated. It really works!
@@baus7 Hi, if you came over unexpectedly you would see a lot of papers and things piled on the dining table, clothes on the bathroom floor and maybe some dirty dishes in the sink. I can get the house clean in about an hour so that's progress. My daughter has a lot of friends come over so I try to keep it organized. Our garage is a hot mess and we have a spare room with some stuff piled on the bed. Not too bad. It's better than it was two years ago.
My life philosophy has been to collect experiences instead of stuff so I have worked a minimum, saved my money and taken off most of my life to have adventures all over the world. I was strongly influenced by an environmental science class I took back in the early 70's during my college years. I realized right away that materialism and over population were literally killing the planet so I made a conscious decision to live my life so I minimized my contribution to both problems. I didn't father any children, I buy second hand when possible and I minimize my energy usage (most of my travel has been self propelled - paddling, backpacking, sailing, and bicycle touring). We all need to do our part. By avoiding materialism, I've had a great, healthy life (70 now) and only worked 22 years of my adult life. Free yourself!!
I truly wish that more people would live that way. I'm trying to do my part, too. I've also not had any children, intentionally. I try to waste little to nothing. And I have learned to collect much less than I once did. Very little now compared to most Americans. I haven't done as well as you at this. But I'm trying, too. I truly wish that more people would at least try.
This is a more recent phenomenon. When my children were small they had very few toys as did most children. That was back in the early 70's. But ten to twenty years later, it all changed. I am astounded at how children are indulged and how adults indulge themselves. I've always practiced 'use it up, wear it out, make it do, do without". I think people have lost the ability to think. It's like stuff is a drug and the constant marketing everyone is exposed to via TV, radio, print, the internet, etc numbs people and they cease to think. And food portions, OH MY. Back in the 60's in my family a 2ounce serving of meat was the norm. A small serving of potato and green beans comprised your meal. And no dessert followed unless it was a holiday or your birthday or you had company, which was rare. And no snacks in between meals (although I observed the TV children being served after school milk and cookies by their mothers) either. We did not constantly eat and drink. Today people go about with a drink in hand; like a toddler w/ a sippee cup. It's crazy. And cleaning products. In my mothers home, and mine when I got married, we used Comet and Windex. We might wax our floors once or twice a year. For our laundry we used washing powder, bluing for our whites and Lysol to disinfect. Today people have dozens of cleaning products. And closets bulging with clothes. And they don't even blink when they spend $4 on an iced coffee they could make at home for pennies! Starbucks is always packed. It's crazy. We have, imo, been programmed to this excess b/c those who sell the stuff make more money if/when we spend more. While we all have free will and can say no, if we do not realize we are being manipulated we likely won't be aware we have a problem.
Agreed! I take my coffee and tea from home. I cut up fruit in baggies and drive right on by all the fast food and drink places. I make my own salads, and other meals at home. Did the same when kids were young. Going out was a treat, so was bringing home pizza!
The explosion of toys related to television and movies began in 1978; after the release of Star Wars. Also, remember when Happy Meals were created and each one came with a toy?
This is inspiring! Our home is minimalistic yet our master bedroom is where the clutter is at 😅 I have to purge my bedroom. I think growing up poor makes me want to hold on to my things for dear life
Same. It's like if you know you couldn't afford to replace it, you actually *need* to keep what you have. I struggle with this with clothes a lot. There was a time when I was a teen when I didn't actually own any jumpers/hoodies and would just layer multiple tee shirts to keep warm at school. When I was younger I just wore a lot of my parents old jumpers, even though they were huge on me, I liked them! But I couldn't do that as a teen. It's hard to explain that to people these days. That's why I find it hard to let any item of clothing go, even if it might have holes worn in it!
@@MissIncorrigibleOfOz Hey, I stumbled across your comment and would humbly, yet passionately suggest purging prior to your move. It worked wonderfully for me, and I had to move three times in a year and a half. Knowing that everything you own is something you truly want or need makes the experience far less stressful and exciting.
@MissIncorrigibleOfOz I’ve donated about 5 bags full of clothes and miscellaneous items and I’m currently getting other family members involved to do a big yard sale next month to get rid of the rest! I’m very excited and I’ve already been moving stuff into bags/boxes for next month! My room has been looking a lot better thankfully!
Thank you for an interesting study and findings..my mom now 86, in her last 30 years of her post retirement life is an organized hoarder and clearly a person with OCD. I'm from South East Asia and I live with my mom all my childhood and adult life during my single days and single-again years. I have literally grown in a house full of memorabilia items of almost 100 years old and they are all tagged with her handwritten labels, neatly wrapped and organised in boxes of big plastic containers stacked up to the ceiling of the room all the way from bedroom into living hall. These are family collections over the years of the many travelling around the world. They are very sentimental values to her and no one is allowed to remove or reduce for a better living space. Our life changed when she had a fall in 2016 from a mild stroke and was diagnosed with mixed Alzheimer and Dementia, her mood changed to more severe towards clinging and obsessed over the unfinished organising her favourite things. Towards her sundowning and frequent fall eposides strickened her to be bedbound due to the fact of her poor mobility and declining memory, she gradually accepted her conditions and finally granted me the permission to reduce recycle and remove all her beloved belongings as what I can do best. I took the first step identifying and sorting all items by categories and to realize her mission was to pass on the items to her children and grandchildren. I realised now how she wanted to leave behind her "legacy" through arrays of her favourite things and stack full of photo albums which today seems to be like an eye sore. Our life improves once we have switched roles my mom with dementia is living with me under my terms and my rules. I have started with decluttering and sorting all her collections many of which were given away for charity, sold at car boot sales, disposed and gave away to my siblings and to my nephews and nieces. My greatest achievement is to convert tons of the family photo albums into digital format and turned my living space emptied from stack of physical albums and into a cosy corner. I'm now a happy home owner and NOT a store keeper anymore. I have passed down a less is more lifestyle concept to my college going daughter.
Wow that is quite an accomplishment on your part. So much hard work and dedication taking care of a Loved One with Dementia and Alzehimer's disease. To honour her in the way you did. You should feel very proud of the Lovingkindness that you showed her. And to spend all of that time seeing that her possessions were passed on to family members and charity. I am very impressed. I hope you take time to enjoy your life. You deserve to have peace and joy in your life. You were such a blessing to your Loved One. I am inspired by your story, Thank you for sharing. I am sending love and hugs from Washington State, USA, Jeanne of In Loving Hands Counseling and ASMR
Dealing with relatives possessions is a huge job for anyone to tackle after the parent is deceased or like your mother no longer able to live in their own home. Thank goodness my mother had very little to sort through, she did me a big favor at the end of her life.
God bless you for your patience for for trying to honor your Mother’s wishes. I’m afraid I have kept far too much of my parents’ belongings/collections and finally stored much of it and paying through the nose for that. When you are working and have little time to sort/declutter/sell things, it is so easy to just get it out of sight and “worry about it later.” I am now almost 4 years out and have done essentially nothing. Finally retired and how. hopeful I can get started. It is so overwhelming, it is hard to know where to start. Also embarrassing to allow anyone to see/help. You’re a good role model!
I have a rule: my house = my rules, in my relatives' houses = their rules. No matter how close these people are to me (mother, sister, etc), I consider it to NOT be my business what they fill their own space with. With healthy boundaries life is easier.
I really like how this documentary points out the large amount of clutter in family houses in the US without shaming the families for doing it. While my family has never gotten to an extreme point of this we still have more clutter than I like. I declutter my personal items about every 6mos and decided I will continue to do the same when when I start my own household. It truly is nicer to have less stuff which has the added benefit of being able to invest more in experiences
I’ve witnessed this a lot with loved ones who have kids- the kids have SO much stuff, because their parents refuse to let go of the things they spent buttloads of money on. 😕
mmacrini I know, right? I remember discussing this in an Early Childhood Development class. It’s not a good thing, a home and a family needs to be “family-centric”. It deserves to be. 😕
Ashaliyeva Marie this makes me feel so much better for insisting that my kids keep their stuff upstairs in their rooms. One or two stuffies can come downstairs if they’re actively playing with it but then: take it back up you hooligans 😂
I remember the days when the kids were little and that there was so much extra we didn’t need. It used to stress me out. Back then, it was my idea to “organize” as opposed to declutter. I have been on a decluttering journey for years. I’ve come to a bit of a gridlock but we are in a much better place than we used to be. ❤
Karyn McDonald This is exactly what we're currently doing. So freeing! And we didn't start with 1/4 of what this video shows. Scary. Ad Astra, Bonnie Badass & Magic
This is very eye opening. Even when I look back at old videos from the 50s, their homes were never this cluttered and the children did not have this many toys. I'm definitely going to work towards getting rid of useless junk and not fall prey to consumerism.
Well, to be fair, it would have been a much bigger deal to have a film crew come to your home in the 1950s. No small video cameras back then! People would have cleaned. Also, both parents didn't need to work outside of the home. Not sure how tv factors in, if at all.
Probably because both adults did not work full time. There was only one income and it was budgeted. Kids didn't need a lot of toys because they played outside a lot. Stick and a ball was enough for some. Girls might have been inside learning cooking or sewing. And I will say, people were happier back then. On a personal note, I was born 1961, I had plenty of toys in my room. My older brother had plenty by then as well. So did my friends. Toys were kept in the bedroom, mostly.
This vid is a prime example of why I’m a minimalist. Not a sparse, empty room minimalist. But an “only have what I need or use regularly” minimalist. It really is a much less stressful living. A quiet room makes for a nice and quiet mind. It allows one to relax in their home.
If I travel anywhere, I send myself a postcard on the last day before I go home: I usually arrive home before it and I get a nice surprise and souvenir when it arrives!
I grew up in a home like this. Stuff everywhere and nobody knew what we actually had or where it was. I used to think that "a place for everything and everything in it's place" would be a stressful mindset, because managing so much stuff and making sure it's all in it's place sounded like a full time job, so it's a lot easier to ignore it. Now I have my own home, I'm intentional about what I own and IT'S SO NICE to know what I have and where it is, and makes tidying up infinitely quicker and easier. My whole home is the sanctuary they talked about with the master bedrooms, and whenever I visit homes with random clutter everywhere it stresses me out even though it's not mine! Recently, when clearing out my childhood bedroom my dad was shocked that I was happy to get rid of a bunch of old stuffed animals that I was never that attached to and tried to convince me to keep them. I said "no Dad, I don't need them taking up space in my house" When I have kids, I will not allow their toys to take over.
It’s so incredible looking back to the past when I was a child and seeing how nothing has changed now as an adult. Of course, back then I was the one making the mess and now I’m the one cleaning up the mess - then when I have kids I’ll be making the mess again, and when I’m elderly I’ll throw everything away again. The true cycle of life.
Everything you own will wind up one day in the trash , Goodwill or some thrift store or some sort of resale shop. I am trying to move to more of a minimalist life style. I told my kids when I get old I want everything I own to fit into a bandana on a stick.
@@auntlavinia8170 Omg, food and toys, really... Do I have to eat it if I no longer want it or it's gone bad?! And toys from strictly practical point of view are all trash because children are actually perfectly happy to play with literally anything
How many toys do children need in reality? I am from the Philippines. I am scandalized by the culture of acquisitiveness of Americans. There is so much waste of money happening on what will end up as garbage later on!
I grew up with a single mom who was a hoarder and three other siblings, so those two things combined means our home was always a cluttered chaos. It would give me so much anxiety living in that that when I finally moved out I intentionally lived as a bit of a minimalist and organize absolutely everything, also clean daily even if it’s just a quick sweep. Seeing this video brought back some of that repressed anxiety, so much that I had to get up and clean, re-organize, etc.
it's the same for families with no children but living in a run-down tiny rentals. the real issue is low-pay jobs, consumer debts, and unaffordable housing. the disappearance of the middle-class in general. you hoard and eat junk food because you're full of cortisol day and night, which is your stress and fear, and being tired. and you never have time to clean up or cook. and yes, I agree that women suffer more than men.
As a professional home cleaner, I’ve been in many homes. Yes, people have way too much stuff AND clothing. Homeowners are frustrated with their clutter but refuse to declutter. Because of this I try to live with a minimalist idea. If I buy a new pair of shoes, an old pair gets donated or thrown out.
@@714Tinkerbella Organizing the clutter won`t help. They need to declutter. But most are ignorant that decluttering is even a thing. Their brain is in " hoarding" mode. And when there is alot of chaos around them, they think they need cleaning og organizing. But in reality it is the clutter that created the mess in the first place
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an elderly woman once told me, "my mother-in-law said she spent the first half of her life collecting everything, and spent the last 1/2 of her life getting rid of it."
What's sad is if they don't get rid of it and die, the family left behind basically just ignores it - so all the memories tied in to things actually good are lost in the 'crap'. Such a sad state we've fallen into.
@@museluvr the simple solution is don't create any memory. Live in the moment and let go. People just want to get attached with everything and carry that burden on their shoulders as well as in their heads.
ha ha ha ha ha ha
😮😢Too true.
@@infinitebeing1119Simple, maybe, but not easy. We humans, as a group, lean in to attachment. "Sentimental" things, religious icons, historical items - all provide a touchstone for community. I wonder if the greater disservice is that the family "group" no longer has the stories of great grandmother's doll, grandfather's clock, or the handmade table that your great uncle made in Woodshop to hold them together. Now it's just disposible things from a disjointed culture. 🙁
“A house is just a place to keep your stuff while you go out and get more stuff.” ― George Carlin
I love this quote.
I don't get more stuff
A home is where you can relax and shut the door from people.
Home is where your loving peeps are
@@christinequinn5355 George Carlin nailed it on so many things!
anything I don't use anymore...goes to Goodwill. keeping stuff in the house is just taking up space that you can use.
One Christmas, when my kids were little, I watched them open their Christmas presents. Like so many people I felt a lot of pride in giving them a lot of presents and what I thought was joy. But as I watched, I noticed that while they were excited to open their gifts, after they opened them they would often play with ONE toy only. I watched them closely. In some cases, they never touched the other toys again. It was instructive and it took some time for me to convince my husband but after that, we would ask them what is the one thing they wanted and give them just that one gift. They never knew the difference.
I never received but ONE present for Xmas or birthday. You appreciated what you got and took care of it.
Cheap
That’s usually how it is in many others western countries… Kids get one Christmas gift.
A long time ago, I came to the conclusion (after watching my niephlings receive way too much stuff) that it made the most sense to instill a sense of simplicity and charity in my own (still hypothetical) kids early on, so I figured that once they were old enough to discuss things (say, 4 years old), we'd discuss ahead of time that they were going to choose a couple of items to play with right away, a couple of items to put into storage and play with later, and a couple items to give away to kids who don't have as much as we do. That way, even if their extended family gave them a lot of things, we could avoid the excess clutter in a useful way, and keep them mindful about their own sense of enjoyment, and avoid the "I have so many things that I'm bored" overload effect.
My parents gave us big bags full of presents, toys and candy, basically stuff to make it seem big and one or two considerate thing. But at some age (like 15) they just stopped and now you get one or two unimaginative gadgets. I suppose they felt like it was a childish tradition but i really miss it. Dad asks me what i want, i say 'just a lot of simple stuff, jelly and soda would be nice' and then i'll get one more pair of headphones. I would ask him about it and he would say that I wasn't clear on what i want.
From a European perspective, this looks like a pure urban design consequence. Where I live, I can get most of what I need in 15 minutes from the nearest small store. Then I have a larger store in 10 minutes walk. The school is a block away. There's no need to optimize and stockpile. A lot of people, me included, do not have cars and have little use for them. In US, the suburban concept intuitively feels as freedom - going wherever you need by car which anyone has, living in a vast space. But in fact that urban design turns up a huge burden, chore and time sink for everyday life working class leads - work, school, store. Life looks better by its abundance - larger houses, lawns - but does it feel better when you are paying for that in dealing with commute and stockpiles in hours of boring hassle, day in and day out?
I sought out one of the walkable neighborhoods in the US (and we don't have a ton tbh) and I wouldn't give it up for anything. Urban and suburban design fundamentally shape how we spend our time. I want to be able to get what I need in a 10-15 minute walk but when I talk to people who ask about how I live without a car and walk everywhere they seem flabbergasted and never considered anything but having 2 cars and driving everywhere.
The default suburban way of life needs to be questioned. You could absolutely create town center sorts of areas if you changed zoning in those suburban areas. Current zoning in many cities prevents mingling commercial/retail space with residential space.
So underrated.
Shhhh,,,, don't wake the brainwashed lest they go berserk...
As soon as the food portion came up, I thought the same thing. Like families only need to make a big thing out of going grocery shopping cause there isn't a store within walking distance. You have to coordinate school pickup schedules cause the kids can't walk or cycle themselves to and from events. It definitely may feel like freedom at first, but you realize the consumer prison that it is the longer you look at it.
As an American who got to work for a few months in Germany in the city center of Munich, I was thinking the exact same thing. So your comment was extremely cool see
As a single older man running a business the COVID crisis hit and I was forced to stay in my home. 20 years of clutter and filth in house and garage. It took 6 weeks to sort out. The master bedroom became the most spartan and uncluttered looking more like a hotel room or nice AirBnB. A peacefulness settled into me as priorities became clearer and practical applications of creativity took wing. I don't think I'm alone in this. I think a lot of us 'woke up'. Thanks for the informative video from Alabama.
watching during the covid craziness too. i am married with a 4 month old and we are sharing a space with ppl who are like beginning hoarders, we are moving into a small condo in a few weeks and are trying to simplify what we have. it really does allow you to breathe more easily not being surrounded by so much stuff.
What an awesome comment and thank you for sharing your experience during this difficult of times. I hope everything is going well for you. Usually single men are the first to get hit by unemployment, next are single women, and so fort. Anyways I wish the best for all during these crazy times. Much peace from South Florida. 😎👍🙏
I too have FINALLY been able to start and complete tasks I'd intended to do and let over 10 years go by without starting. Feels great. From here on out I intend to intend less. {:-)
Wish my wife would have an epiphany and clean her clutter (clothes and shoes) from all 3 bedrooms!! The house is a giant mess thanks to her clutter!! I would be a minimalist if I were a single...except for my tools.
javarithms We all have our vices. But each of us have to have our epiphany. Hopefully she will have hers soon. Good luck to you both.
He who buys what he doesn't need, steals from himself.
Best quote I’ve read in years. So true.
Technically + etiquette wise - it's best to give a citation [use quotation marks + source]. Otherwise , it's kinda lame to just claim a saying as your own.
*Swedish Proverb. There is no known source.
thanks, Loui Petters, this is one of the best quotes I have heard in many, many months, and I collect quotes, I already sent to family...........wow, might do this in calligraphy ........wonder who said it first? wow, thanks again. !!!!
@@@smallstudiodesign --- I am so happy that Loui Peters gave us this thought..........so much for your etiquette stuff...............I have one for you.......sorry friend, but "Sometimes Good is good enough"
In my experience, the "middle class" in the US can often be teetering on the edge of poverty. I think, aside from all the other causes, knowing that resources are tight keeps people afraid of getting rid of things, just in case they will need it someday. And to me there seems to be a deep loneliness that people are trying to fill by shopping and filling up their spaces with clutter, not unlike people who gorge themselves in order the satiate an emotional hunger.
Yes more middle class are just one or two paychecks away from eviction/foreclosure… sad
OMG… well said! I agree, so true.
Well said
I’m guessing that’s people who live above their means. I’m middle middle class and mostly everyone I know. We all pay our bills and have put aside retirement savings, emergency savings, etc, savings to help for children’s college. I guess it’s a case of the company we keep. Most of my co-workers as well do the same. I know upper middle class people that have more expensive residences and less in their savings.
Your understanding of this issue is correct.
I love how compassionate, understanding, and non-judgemental these reaearchers were. They spoke about these families and homes with great respect.
Exactly the same in the UK home.
They are social scientist and most Anthropologists (Ethnographers) study culture and humanity, they are humanist and generally love , if not like humanity.
Of course they're judgmental. Everyone is judgmental, whether or not they admit it. The fact that the researchers chose these specific families to illustrate their thesis means that they judged the families to be appropriate subjects to study.
@@HOLLASOUNDS Yes, the researchers claim that this is a characteristic exclusive to America, but it isn't true. I think it's a matter of how much space is available to people. Japanese and Korean households are just as cluttered as those in America -- sometimes, much more so -- but they don't have as much space to spread the clutter around. In many non-American cities, people rent off-site storage space to keep their extra belongings.
it is called being professional.....after all they do want to sell a book. I bet, when the cameras are off and the doors are close all of this sounds a whole lot different because people are people are people and we cannot help but judge others. it in our nature.
Instead of giving gifts as objects give experiences as gifts. An outing, a show, a night out etc. Memories and life experiences are worth more to someone
No I like to give gifts and receive
Nobody likes to do that thought because that requires thought and time. A gift they can swipe off any store shelf quickly. I hate gifts without thought
I think either as long as its thoughtful.
Yes! I would love this. Be my friend? lol, It’s just that gifts are easier, although I repeatedly ask for experiences. I’m hopeful; one day..
You’re so right. Especially in the US, we’ve become a nation of over-consumption. The best gifts are often those that family and friends know are what touches our hearts and many times that costs little or nothing. Random acts of kindness are priceless.
Several years ago after getting tired of having junk in my house and accumulating stuff oh, I had a serious conversation with my husband. I said honey I want to retire at the age of 55 I've worked hard all my life we have had many luxuries, we have traveled, we've eaten in the best restaurants, Etc I am tired of junk. I am tired of working hard. I need a break. So what did we do? We sold everything we owned. We sold our house. We sold our furniture. We sold our cars. We sold as many things as we could. Today I live in Sunny Puerto Rico in a mountainous region. And don't owe anybody anything. Oh I bought a nice little house. My husband recently died. And I am not indebted. We need to learn to live without so much junk in our lives. That way your heart can have room to think about the things that are more important and have the things that are more important. Like love, peace, harmony especially having God in our hearts is important.
Rebecca Gutierrez
My husband and I did the same thing in 2018 and retired to a small Caribbean island in Belize. We now live in one of the safest and most economical places on earth. When the virus hit we were very grateful for the early move. Be well!
How beautifully said in your words
Great job. I like it.
this is the most inspiring thing I've read in a long time. Do you blog or tweet or share your story in full?
Bravo! This is what every fiber in my being longs for.
My mother was a hoarder, I became one as well. When my mother passed, I was overwhelmed with what I would keep of my mother’s and what to get rid of. This made me realized that I didn’t want my children to deal with my stuff. It took me awhile, but I started to purge my stuff. It’s like a weight was lifted off me. Less for me to clean, less to organize. It starts in your mind. I feel better now.
me too, still have to deal with my mothers stuff, junk...
That's the stage I'm at now. I wish I could just plunge in and do it non-stop, but I have to deal one box at a time.
my mom is like that too and my step dad, but my mom especially. there are certain keep sakes i do want to keep.. but we can't even bring much into the condo we are moving into so i have to leave it with her. we lost our house several times growing up and i think that contributed..loosing precious memories or expensive things that she needed, so she ended up having more of a hoarding tendency.
I definitely don't want my children to go through all of my junk, this is a big reason why I am wanting to minimize
I’m currently dealing with this myself, with things that belonged to both my parents, my grandparents, and even some things that were my great-grandparents! It gets quite depressing at times, and maddening! I’m doing my best to deal with it all, and it’s made me feel desperate to live a minimalistic life from here on out!
I have decluttered incredibly much over the past few years. Not once have I regretted giving something away. People often comment on how cosy yet minimalistic my flat is because I think we all intuitively realise that a clear space equals a clear mind. The less I have to tidy and take care of stuff, the more I can take care of myself and loved ones. I've also become virtually immune to ads - once you realise that you treat yourself to things because you're tired or insecure or hate working so much, you gradually learn how to question that behaviour and substitute it with much more fulfilling things (e.g. go outside, cook a nice meal, go to a memorable event, create something with your own hands) which will also save you a lot of money and help you create a life that you don't have to escape from or try to upgrade through consumerism
Flat?
@RetroMario apartment
So true 👍🏻
Create SOMETHING with your own hands....and GIVE it away...because, clutter? This was part of my point....I'm an artist. I create. I'm a performing musician. I play 10 instruments...HOW do I produce wood products, or handcrafted items...paintings, sculptures, or ?? Let's say you do beading...Do you know how much STUFF you need to do beading? Wire, beads, clasps...
@@lowellirish Minimalism and conscious consumption isn't about owning nothing. If it's genuinely useful and/or makes you happy, it's fine to keep or acquire. I draw, paint and sew, so I have a couple of small drawers for utensils and a box of fabrics. What's important is to not start a hobby by buying a mountain of stuff before even knowing whether you'll be using any of it. If you let it grow organically and purposefully, regularly take stock and if necessary give things away, you should be fine :)
nobody is commenting about this great documentary and shares their own stories instead. So I'll say that I appreciated it. thank you for your work!
Glad you enjoyed it!
Agree...great documentary. Really interesting.
True. But, I think the commentaries/stories show just how relatable this subject is.
I am an ethnoarchaeologist and I was surprised by this video. And yet, I have collections of family albums, documents and even books in my library. People have always collected some junk but today's consumerist society has led to clutter and anxiety.
@Sponge Bob I watched it all the way through as a fun activity of choice during my vacation on the day of Christmas eve... so its not boring just not your thing. Maybe its because I am an anthropologist myself but I thoroughly enjoyed this.
I was an art collector and designer for years. My own home was packed. One day I read an article about Swedish death cleaning. I sold almost everything within 6 months and now live in a studio apartment with way more money and nothing I don't need and use. I'm a lot happier.
This is the third time in a week that I've seen someone reference Swedish death cleaning! I had never even heard of it before, so I'm thinking it's a sign
I wish you could elaborate on how you did it..What books you found helpful. Or was it really just involving only a decision to do it??
@@josephinecunningham5998 you get rid, declutter, tidy up and organise all your stuff so your children don't have to do it when you die. As it happens I live in Sweden and have yet to meet anyone who's done this! It's one of the many international myths about what Swedes do. Like, for example, they do *not* work a four-day week.
Thank you for setting the record straight. I live in Germany and it’s laughable how Americans, who probably never been, say all German food is Bio. Everyone eats healthy & there’s no obesity. Germans do not buy frozen foods. And yes Germans have large freezers in their garages and American size refrigerators in their kitchens. The ones Ive met love these conveniences. The women in the documentary need to travel or travel more.
Were you able to part with your art collection? How did you choose which art to sell and which to keep?
I like how this documentary acknowledges contributing factors to the clutter problem. It’s not an individual problem. It’s clearly a cultural issue. Five stars ⭐️
I didn’t know this until I decided to marry an American man…. I’m Mexican and we do not keep a lot of things or buy a lot because there’s not enough money like there is here to just keep buying more and more stuff. I’m finding myself very stressed a lot of the times because I see stuff EVERYWHERE, stuff that is not mine. And a new package every two or three days that’s isn’t mine either… I see the clutter and it brings so much stress to my life because i didn’t grow up like that and this for him is clearly something normal…. I see it in his parents. I don’t know what to do and how to get him out of the consumerism mentality.
Yeah, it always feels better to blame society and culture and the times we live..... than to take personal responsibility and act consciously.
@@Redmenace96 you've got it backwards. This is showing how acts of the families contribute to the creation and building OF the culture.
@@ShirleyYooGeste Your right!! I have it completely reversed! How stupid of me to think that people who are not in control of their actions and feel overwhelmed, are liable to blame everyone but themselves. Sorry about that. I'll start reversing my thoughts right away.
@@Redmenace96 anything that sets you into a fact based reality is good. Best of luck!
Almost 10 years later and this is still relevant to people all over the globe. Congratulations!
Wealth consists not in having great possessions, but in having few wants. Epictetus.
So true...and this is how one can not drain finances unnecessarily.
Do you know if the translation refers to "wants" in the older sense of "needs" or the more common sense of "desires"?
@@fellowcitizen I would say personally that wants and needs are different. We all have needs and so it's necessary to take, it's taking more than is necessary that we can all fall into and should avoid. Also desiring unnecessary things, but the media's built around making us crave those. Some saying goes, "Ideas should be treated like guests, desires like small children." :)
@@jenniferytbe3327 We all need to Jennifer over something! Not McDonalds for me though, I aren't tempted by any of their offerings no matter what name they give 'em, or how unrealistically delicious and lush they make 'em look on the adverts. I know they're all dead animal on cheap white bread dressed up as something special! (in my opinion of course! :) )
Damn Maggie you nailed it. I mean, I am a shopaholic too. This is a serious addiction. I shop so much even if I don't need it. I am afraid of not having it or needing it one day and can't afford it. I have boxes and boxes of things. I say, when I read your comment, you made me cry. you touched. I need help and I never like asking people for help. God has blessed me with the ability to buy and God knows I take advantage of it. I buy things for others. I buy good stuff so I think. But, I am not rich I am feeling depressed inside. I have many wants. Thanks, Maggie!! you nailed it.
The family that opened their home for this piece, did so much good for anyone watching. For me, this is my house and the houses of many of my friends. It definitely helped me see my house as an outsider would. Ms Repath-Martos is an amazing person for inviting others into her home, she is pretty cool.
I agree! This really think this can't be said enough, how brave and vulnerable it was for them to open their homes like this
You will be appalled at how many silly sentimental decorative objects you have
Yes,she was very brave and a kind,lovely person to brave getting critical remarks from the likes of me. I thought her house was nice. It was like the house I grew up in in England but no stuff as we had no money. Just a pleasant modestly furnished house.
I agree wholeheartedly. I admire their courage, and their ability to recognize how much they can help others by exposing themselves.
There are at least 40 family homes in the pictures, the woman they were speaking to was good yes but it was multiple families :)
About 3 years ago I sold everything and moved into a 24' RV. I now travel and live in National Forests and Bureau of Land Management lands. I never once missed all the crap I gave away or sold.
Good for you! You aren't a slave to stuff anymore!!!
That's pretty cool. How do you support yourself?
Carolyn's RV Life how’s it going with the COVID thing ?
@@fanishojo I was just wondering the same thing. BLMs and campgrounds are closed, seasonal/short-term RV lots can be very pricey.
Heck, I simplified my life..Moved into my SUV, travel everywhere..helping families,..homeschooling, etc..and it's a Much Happier Life for me.. It's Not for everyone. You must have an Income Stream, be Fearless, cautious, perceptive, intuitive, Educated about 'The Matrix/System, healthy, smart and yet emotionally available & open for your families..
I had to clear out my mother and grandmother's home. Both had a lot of clutter. They passed 19 months apart, so on top of the grieving, I was overwhelmed and angry. I swore I would never do that to my kids and have been downsizing since.
Are you serious? What, your mother and grandmother weren't allowed to have their own lives just because YOU have to deal with their stuff after they died? Jesus, talk about a selfish child. They didn't do anything to YOU. They lived their lives, and guess what? Mom wasn't just your mom - she was a woman with her own identity and desires. Getting all pissy because she didn't anticipate The Awful Inconvenience to her spoilt brat kid after she died only shows how self-absorbed you are. GROW UP. No matter how "decluttered" you manage to force yourself to be, YOUR kids are going to have to deal with YOUR stuff too. Hopefully they won't be as whiny as you.
Yeah dude get rid of everything you own and make sure you leave no family heirlooms for future generations! Good on you man!!
@@Zephlos Clutter =/= family heirlooms. No one is going to remember you fondly while looking at a $2 plastic cookingware you've never actually used.
I cleaned out my grandad's old shed and it was so great to spend all day seeing all of the junk he collected. Ultimately I knew I had to treat it like what it was and it really was just junk at the end of the day. But it was a fascinating experience for me.
It's such a waste of time, money, emotions etc. My parents are long divorced and each has a house full of stuff that will need to be disposed of when they pass away. I will likely be the one stuck doing most of the work with my dad's house and certainly my fair share with my mum's.
When I was 14, my sister married. In a matter of one year, she and her husband moved 3 times.
I was volunteered to help them move.
For me, this cured any inkling of holding or collecting just about anything.
Every six months, I dutifully go thru my stuff and purge. I live my life as if I have to get up and move out.
Things are simpler for me.
I just stopped buying stuff and have only necessities. I have a clean apartment and take care of myself. Living healthy biking running eating good food. I don't care about things but people.
This is what i’m working toward
My mother and I moved a lot when I was a child, and I adopted the same mentality for a long time. I kept my possessions down to what would fit in a few boxes. But after marrying someone who likes to collect things and having four children that we over-buy for, I slipped into bad habits for a while. But I still faithfully purge every season, at least for my own possessions. It's hard to get the other people in my household on board!
@@melaniebernard3688 it is interesting to hear from people who had to move frequently when they were children. Thank you for sharing your experience.
Same
The toy issue is so tough. My wife and I are constantly having to tell grandparents our kids don't need more cheap plastic toys (I don't me literally cheap, but just toys that end up being junk in a couple months). It's a constant struggle and it's exhausting having to constantly deal with questions about what the kids want for birthday/Christmas. And our parents don't even buy that much compared to the stories I hear from friends. After several discussions about this with our parents they are trying to resist the impulse of buying things for the grandkids simply because they can. My inlaws have started giving experiences instead of physical items. Day trips or overnighters to local places. It's still a constant battle, but getting our 'village' on board really has helped.
The gift battle is definitely a tough one. For many people, "giving" is their love language and its often easiest for them to see their love in something physical. I started trying as a teen to ask for gift cards, not to reduce clutter, but so I could go try on things rather than people try to guess and send me things I couldn't use or fit. I'm still working on it with my parents, and I've made some progress, but my mom gets a kick out of full stockings and seeing big pile under the tree. Or society tries to sell people the idea that giving lots of items (especially if you got a great deal on it) is the best way to show you love someone, when in reality you could be hurting them with it.
This issue is history now for me but it's a difficult one for many to solve.
We lived overseas, well away from families so the never ending deluge of gifts never really happened.
What I can remember though is separating loved items into multiple boxes. Each of these would be available for several days & then be replaced by a 'fresh' box of toys maybe not seen for a few weeks.
All contents were labelled & it required a bit of work sometimes updating/ adding recently acquired things but seemed to work a treat for both the older ones over the years & helped me keep a little sanity.
I had this problem. It’ll drop waaay off when they get just a little bit older. By the time my kids were around 8 they were only interested in legos, cars, and nerf. I don’t have girls so I don’t know how much worse it is there. But I do know it just all of a sudden stopped one year. And I sold everything they grew out of playing with each year they outgrew it. Of course I don’t know your in laws but have hope. It will get better. But we had to have those conversations too. We told grandma to keep a lot of it at her house and then she couldn’t believe how fast her Florida room became a play room! Have hope!
Dude the toys, I have barely anything and like it that way but have 100 toys for the children bought by grandparents, aunts and uncles.
My great uncle used to give us silver dollars. They were magical to us kids.
I am a woman, and an old one. I worked all of my life. I don't think some people understand how hard it is to manage your home after a long stressful day at work. I believe women working outside the home is part of the cause of this common lifestyle. When I was young, most women were at home all day. They had enough time and energy to truly manage the home. Homes were more sparsely outfitted and most food was home cooked. Now that I am retired, I am paring my possessions down big time. I will still have too much, but my home will be truly functional for the first time in years. By the time it was out of control, I just couldn't do the emotional work of getting everything in order.
I think that housekeeping has been completely neglected during my generation. You have both partners working full time and buying waay too much crap you don't need. Which clutters the house. And doing the household isn't anyones task in particular. Just whoever happens to have some time left.
I realized lately that all the stuff that you have laying around unorganized has a price. Clutter stresses you out and makes you feel like you lost control. And the price is often much higher than the material thing is worth. As a kid my dad drilled into me that i shouldn't throw stuff away. So it took me some time as an adult to flip the switch and finnally get rid of all that crap. It feels much better.
You mean, women should give up our sovereign personhood, our being, our aspiration and settle into one normalised singular hetero lifestyle being excluded from public life? And having no independence? Stuff that. I love my work and my child is 30 and doing her doctorate, having always had a mum who worked. The women leading this study have worked, they don't have these issues. If you can't see the consumer life pressed on Americans by advertising but rather you blame women, you are not interested in solving the problem. If telling a whole group what to do is your solution, you are not democratically minded.
@@lizziebkennedy7505 or a family of two should be paid enough to decide if one of them wants to be a house wife/husband or if they both want to work and hire a maid.
@@lizziebkennedy7505 that's not what i got out of that comment at all, this is a really bad faith interpretation of her comment. the commenter never once said "this is how it should be" or "it would be better if women stayed at home," they were just making the observation that when women entered the workforce, no one has time to tidy the house anymore or cook all of the meals. there was no value statement in pointing that out.
I quit my job recently to be a stay at home wife. I have time to do everything now! The house is immaculate, I cook delicious healthy meals from scratch and far less stressed than I've ever been. It's certainly difficult for two working persons to keep on top of everything and be mentally and physically healthy.
This is why I started doing an architectural degree , because I could not understand the way houses have been designed over the centuries. When I became a stay at home mum the regular house design didn’t flow or work, the kitchen was always the smallest room in the house. The laundry was not near the kitchen, there wasn’t a bathroom close by often, areas for the children to play next to the kitchen weren’t there, etc. etc. I’m guessing or it is true that most architects have been men who have not spent time at home with children for any real length of time. I think that the home can make or break a family, especially a very busy family the house needs to work properly for that family. Hopefully in the future it will be normal to have a different design of house that suits family life better and the first thing that needs to change is making the kitchen the largest part of the house with multiple stations, in the kitchen, near the kitchen or beside the kitchen.
You must be obese.
You're so right!!!!!!! One of my peeves is how men design kitchens but women work in them. Cupboards too high and counters too high for short women, and we have to wash dishes in a sink with NO direct overhead light. SMH.
I agree it's been the DESIGN of homes that's the problem.
I think the open kitchen/dining/living room concept gets it right for function. To me, the kitchen DOESN'T need to be bigger, just laid out against one wall and with ALL DRAWER cabinets at the bottom.
I think vertical space needs to be used MORE. Items less-used can be stored on higher shelves.
Laundry room should be near bedrooms, NOT the kitchen.
CLOSETS need to have doors that allow full-access to the space, meaning floor-to-ceiling doors that open from end to end.
The number of bathrooms need to equal or exceed by one, the number of bedrooms.
Bedrooms need to be large enough to move around in, not closet-sized.
An important thing to remember though is how rooms used to function when they were built vs. now. They haven't always functioned the same way they do now, nor was there as much stuff. Newer American homes have large kitchens because they now house far more stuff (especially food and small appliances) that 50 years ago people didn't have. 100 years ago, people didn't spend time in the kitchen - it was for cooking only. In Europe and other countries, they don't prioritize large kitchens like we do because they generally have less stuff and food shop more often, requiring less storage. Bedrooms were far smaller because all you did in them was sleep - you didn't have loads of toys, sitting areas, or massive wardrobes. Especially in homes that the family had wealth, kitchens and laundry were more often used by staff and not meant to be seen by visitors (or owners), hence why they often had 2nd staircases in the back of the house. Culturally, children were not a major part of design because they didn't have nearly the volume of stuff they do now, and little ones would've either been with a nanny or in the same room as you.
One of my mum's uncle back in the 80s (if i remember correctly) designed his home with a huge kitchen, they used to host a lot of people, especially family, keep in mind that i am talking about south asian family, and when we usually visit other family memebers we usually cook together or help the hosts out in the kitchen especially ladies and kids would gather in and around kitchen area most of the times, although overtime these huge family gathering things isnt as common anymore, but my mum still loves larger kitchen we have a lot stuff we need to store😆
Edit: hosts*
I am retiring in a foreign country, and I just got rid of 99% of my possessions. I feel completely liberated. Almost every time I threw out something or donated it or gave it away, I felt a sense of shame that I had wasted my money and space on that unnecessary thing - and then the environmental impact of producing all these things! Such a shame. I could have been traveling all these years instead of working just to pay rent or mortgage and buy stuff.
How would you have funded all this travelling you speak of without having to work. Beg for money from people who actually do work?
@@AngelasAdvice - A person in this situation can hire an organization specialist/service. It's a thing!
I left the US with 2 suitcases leaving behind my house, corporate life, everything. Never been so happy!
I am Greatful that we are debt free. MY husband is my financial advisor and accountant- his father taught him amazing life skills including respecting women n children, being faithful. Rest in Peace my dear father in law.
@@cruisepaige wow where did u go
When I was born and raised in the Soviet Union, I would get 1 toy a year. By the age of 7, I had 7 amimal plush toys and 2 dolls. I had the happiest childhood. I spent most of my time running outside and playing imaginary games while my parents worked in a hospital and my grandparents tended to the land. All we ate was organic. We did have central water or heating till I was 6. It was still the happiest childhood.
Westerners have too much junk, we would be happier with less!
Soviet Union? I'm thinking of all those poor children who had to have their toy taken away so you could have seven! you were spoiled!
Tatiana Z You may have been happy but I bet your parents were struggling and unhappy.
I can relate. We were poor, it's not the lack of money hurt me the most but the bickering for it and mentality that you need to have more to be happy. I am born at the beginning of the collapse of soviet union so people's greed took over the reasoning. To this day some of my relatives live in a junkyard with never satisfying appetite. I moved abroad years ago and i see that western Europeans have less stuff but what they really want. People with money will be just as unhappy always spending for more as people with no money not having enough to spend. You are the richest person when you have enough for you! You are at your best and free of the manipulative consumer mentality.
What is central water? Genuine question...
An interesting point never addressed in this video is the amount of time the parents are commuting to where they work. A long commute is killer; it might be part of why people rely on prepared meals rather than cooking from scratch; it might also be why they don’t have enough time to declutter their homes; it might be part of why they’re self-soothing themselves and their kids with endless shopping and the acquisition of yet more stuff.
Yes.
Also, people differ in their EXECUTIVE FUNCTIONING abilities.
US is screwed up….no time…work ur life away….
Not to mention the amount of time it takes to commute to the store! If it's 15 minutes away and parking is easy and the lines aren't long, it's no big deal to go there repeatedly during the week. If it's 30 minutes away and crowded during the time you have to shop, you're gonna want to do everything in one trip, because the time of transport and waiting in lines is basically gonna be the same every trip, regardless of how much or little you buy.
Good thought, my husband works at job he really just comes home to sleep. I stay home and make sure everything is done so he can rest. If we both worked like I used to. Laundry stayed in the dryer, never cooked to tired. Cleaning the bare minimum.
@@elizabethrose3667 Women staying home can shop, cook healthful meals, and keep house. Both spouses at work = chaos and stress.
We downsized 5 years ago getting rid of 90% of our possessions. It had taken 2 years to achieve this. Even then we stupidly paid for a year’s worth of storage after moving, after 12 months we couldn’t recall what was in the boxes so got rid of those things too saving £180 a month! We’d wasted £2000 in a year storing stuff. We now have a ‘one in one out’ policy. Anything we buy has to replace an item which we place by the front door to await taking to the Charity shop. It works very well.
But you have no reserve emergency stash. Your relying on replacement food items always being available. What about supply chain issues
@@improvisedsurvival5967
You are right about that.
Especially if you live in an
area prone to srorms.
Although I don't live like this and never could (it would stress me out!), there is a great deal of overly harsh criticism. These families are not simplistically "greedy," they are a product of a fast-paced, stressful and materialistic world that runs on consumerism.
I agree that people are a product of their environment, but I don't think other commenters implied that the kinds of families featured in this program are "greedy". I think parents are simply trying to provide for their children in the way of goods, food, a nurturing environment, time, and time. Yes I said "time" twice.
With help from Amazon and little kids holding smart phones...
Well said.
Yes, plus living in a space for a long time aides in that as well. And learning how to organize. We sometimes think, if it's out of sight, we're organized and everything is good, but that's simply not true. It's very sad.
Or they grew up in poverty...scarcity..abuse or have mental health issues that went untreated.
I despise the effects of consumerism in my life. I’m always aware of when it’s happening and definitely stressed by it. This is why I’m up at 4:30am decluttering. Lol. Slowly but surely I WILL get this stuff out!
I'm in the same boat! I've become more aware of my hyper consumeristic habits and now I've been spending the last few years trying to undo it. I'm making progress, but honestly I can't wait to be done because this is super stressful.
Good luck on your decluttering journey!! You got this!!
Same. I see how my kids are obsessed with consumerism and electronic devices but so detached from nature. All I want to do is move to the country and live a simple life. We will someday soon.
What are the top 3 things you have decluttered?. I gave away a bag of books- too late to bring 1 back it's ok we can live without that 1 book as we have 200 more.
@spirals 73 I LOVE yard sales. Here in England we call it car boot sales. These are done online these days.
@@1mourningdove54 i moved in with my daughters family and had an estate sale at my former house. That ment getting rid of a lot of "stuff".when i boxed up the stuff that didn't sell i had to wonder why i had all of this stuff in the first place. The second hand stores have made a lot of money of my stuff i didn't need in the first place
I noticed kids with lots of toys are easily bored. Whereas kids with little to no toys at all were more imaginative, and are generally happier.
No seriously. I’m only 21 but I grew up poor. I never got bored. I would play with my few stuffed animals. I would make tea parties or go on “adventures” with them. My brother grew up with so many toys and electric yet he’s “bored.”
My neighbor's kid is obsessed with buying new toys. They demanded their parents to buy them new toys every single day. The toys are piled up in huge plastic boxes. That's more than enough toy to play all day. I think the kid is more excited to get new toys in the store than actually playing with it.
The kid is only 2 years old :/
A rule: 5 of your most precious toys. Only. All those stuffed toys, many of them cheap crap, are not healthy.
I agree, kids with less toys are more Creative.
@@tailgatecarpenter26 the same runs true to young delivery crew who always gets lost even with complete address and blamed you for not being there 😠😤😠
What I love most about Americans is being an open book! Bless these people...it's really awesome to have this mirror to reflect into!
Unless we are on FB. Then we show off only the parts of our lives that look good lol. I post a lot of recipes and talk on FB about how I am going to cook them. You would think I am a master chef that cooks amazing creative meals every night. Not. 😄
*BUT I guess my comment confessing I do this makes your point about Americans true! lol!
True
Thanks, everyone likes to bash us, and never take the time to say something they like.
Jealousy is a beautiful thing!
I think hoarding or excessive accumulating is linked to depression.. children and people need love and hugs. They try to feel better wi th stuff
I don't think it's the acquiring of stuff that's the sign of the depression it's the disorganization of all the stuff is the depression sign
They try to fill that void/emptiness they feel inside by buying stuff. In which some ppl like to call, "Retail Therapy."
As someone who has done this, for me you are exactly right. I had a failing marriage, no attention from my husband who was in his own world. I got my oxytocin from online shopping. I then realised what i was doing and that "stuff" could never help me. Now i am getting rid of stuff. Feels much better when you realise why you are doing it. Trying to fill a void. Some level of control when you control when you have very little.
Kathryn Ruhl I agree. My mom is a hoarder and so is her sister. It comes from not having your needs reliably met. This toxic feeling of lack causes you to keep things you may need. As we lead more and more isolating lives we buy more stuff to replace the relationships we are missing with our community.
Absolutely.....someone has probably let someone down....
Since I stopped eating processed, canned, and boxed foods (and eat only fresh, whole foods), my pantry and fridge look almost empty. And I like it that way.
Monica Collins mine too!
What about legumes? I've never seen them fresh, ever. I get them dried.
I have found the opposite. I have been eating that way since the 1960s. Fresh produce takes up a ton of space in the fridge. I never have space enough for more than three days. Ialways make a full pot of soup so there are individual serving sizes in the freezer and family sizes. Dried beans in the pantry ,seeds for making sprouts and such.
@@carlawoodrow2677
Mine also.
Kate in Ireland.
Same!
What makes me sad the most, is that this will all end up in landfills polluting our precious planet, just so we fill a void, I think the void is the lack of human touch and contact.
perhaps or lack of purpose in life.
my thoughts exactly :( x
@Angie, is not that. people are brainwashed consumers for a very long time( industrial Revolution)
@@svetlanikolova7673 , this
...or, just a lack of being OK with oneself just as we are and not depending on ANYTHING OR ANYONE external for inner peace....
Makes me wonder how much our frequenting shopping centers (and subsequently over-buying) is also due to lack of public spaces/plazas for families. I know my family will go to Target just because there's not much else to do. Buying becomes the activity.
I think a lot of people use shopping to escape from the anxiety of their messy homes..but it ends up contributing to the mess..and the anxiety.
@@TheCoregon Oh, I agree with you wholeheartedly. I guess I'm just thinking about how our limited environments contribute to this anxiety. Family friendly (free or inexpensive) public spaces for community gathering/entertainment is very limited. Therefore we are relegated to these private spaces that offer cheap goods.
Some suggestions:
If you go to the store to buy some
arts and crafts for redecorating a room.
A scenic drive while listening to an audiobook with snacks from
Dollar Tree.
A drive to local points of interest.
On a hot day if you can afford it
rent a room to hang out and swim.
A museum or a loving museum.
Yep. Shopping is a form of entertainment. What poeple need to understand is that it can be BAD entertainment. Gambling has also become endemic in our population. It distresses me how gambling on baseball games has become "a thing"; pushed endlessly on tv during baseball games. Yes, it is entertainment, no doubt, but it is BAD entertainment!
Absolutely true!!!!!! Or to go for the free AC. Walmart is sorta like that for me these days. So true and so sad.
A few tips that may help:
Taking pictures of items before giving them away helps greatly if you have attached feelings or memories to them.
Giving items away to close friends and family is much easier than a second hand store for most people.
If clothes and shoes are an issue give them to a shelters, employment preparedness programs, your local school district. For most, it is easier when you know that it will be used for good.
Use a folding banquet table or a completely cleared off table to use as a sorting station.
Thankyou Ian for these suggestions. 👍
@@twodogzdogue8710 You're welcome. My pleasure. These tips were shared with me and helped me a lot. It's an ongoing process but after a few intial hurdles it becomes easier and manageable.
I so needed this when I gave away some of my stuff!
Totally correct about giving to those I love being easier. Another is giving to someone I know, like work, and they legitimately need the item. I don’t like to give things to people, even loved ones, if they already have more than enough of what I’m trying to purge. I still remember giving a nice set of steak knives I got at a Christmas exchange to a newly wed at work. I brought them there for anyone to take but mentioned them to her. She took them, thanked me and told me her and her husband didn’t have any. Years later I’m still gratified by giving them to her because she honestly needed them.
@@IanWhiddett i especially like the idea of photographing items that I know I will miss. Some things that were with me for decades, are now gone forever. All I have is the memories. Pictures in a shoebox would be comforting to have.
I have used your other ideas.
When your item will be appreciated by someone, it makes you feel better about parting with it.
The tragedy is that all that money, instead of going into the purchase of worthless junk, could be invested in their family's future. So very sad.
Yep, I see so many co-workers crying broke all the time, yet they eat fast food for lunch everyday and buy cheap crap, simply because it's cheap. But, if they were to track how much they spend a month on that crap, they would see just how much money they're wasting.
RationallyMe anyone with money problems might consider the savings of always preparing own food....
I see the opposite way too much...
Imagine how much stress could be lowered with a paid-off house!
buying stuff we don't need with money we don't have to impress people we don't like
There has never been a better feeling than getting rid of "stuff" in our lives. The less we have the lighter and better we feel. The less we have, the less it costs to store, the less to clean, the more freedom there is in our lives. Wonderful video! :)
MY FATHER-WD DRV US AROUND TOWN' STATION WAGON- OHN BULK DAYONEC AH MONTH AFTR SUPPER.......HE'D PIK OR EYEBALL -TRASH/BULKED ITEMS -LAMPS FUNITURE-APPALIENCES'.....ODSS & ENNDS THN THER WERE THE FLEA MARKETS-ON SAT'RENTED AH TABLE OR CONSIGHNED ITEMS TO FRENDLY NEIBORS/VENDERS' after small repairs/folk art- bartringm storage wasnt ah hoarders pickers tyipe of home we had yard always had ah place outside/shed /shop [ work aria]- hwever- we were lower middle class to poor-no ther were supermarket bins wyth cheep sneekers' ther were; no frills canned foods ect ect' building dept -slowed to no more hammer/nail labor mother had to reclaim her bar maid good looks to make ends meet' but we were happy ah beach going to parent happy family of 7 5 kids]-.. whn ther were so mnny others that had the picket fence tyipe of homes - threw financial strain ' .then came the devorce'or ' abandment - of fleeing fathers'.............so unles u had un adultraited steddy gran parents ah home on mothers side or fathers side to fall back onto 'shelter/roof- then u ended up split up or took to shady areas of low income subsidized housing - projects wher ther was ah hustle to get caught upp into ah - the prowess of - young bucks ' eyeballing ure sisters',[ seeded on tru love ] pregnetcys - thus started the ball rolling...of harder hardshyips/MRMM
"the less to clean, the more freedom there is in our lives." Brilliant words to say to someone who nags about cleaning. I also say, "I doubt anyone will ever say on their death bed, 'You know, I wish I had spent more time cleaning.' "
Amen.
A friend of mine had to move and downsize drastically. She tried an experiment where she had only the barest minimum number of objects that she needed. It was an eye opener. I think she had less than 30 things, not counting food and minimal clothing. That is counting bed linens, kitchen items, a towel and toothbrush, etc. it is amazing how little we really “need.” The average home has thousands upon thousands of items.
There’s nothing like knowing you’re going to have to pack everything up, load it all up in an U-Haul, drive it to the new house, unload everything, then find a new home for everything to light that de-cluttering spark lol
30 items is overboard
❤🎉 yessss--- Earlier this year (I that mom overwhelmed by all the clutter) I realized I desperately needed a personal vacation. ☆☆☆ THEN I realized, I wouldn't come home from it and if I did, I'd probably rather unalive myself. ☆☆☆ So, after trying to declutter, (it deeply upset my partner) I went on sabbatical (strike.) He moved out, left all the shit behind. Now I'm gutting the place and moving into a studio with the bare minimum. So excited!!! Traveling taught me a lot about how less is more. Now I will be on permanent vacation 😎 🙌
I love that this topic is covered in a non-judgmental way....this really encourages me to consider changes that are possible regardless of where I land on the consumerism spectrum.
How is it going? Seems like I do one 10-12 hour declutter then I need to rest!!
Have you succeeded in doing one room or was it hard knowing where to sort everything out?
Since I start living by myself I live in a clutter free environment. Good feeling!
So the clutter was someone else's fault then.
Great documentary. I own a moving company and I witness first hand on a daily basis the amount of unnecessary crap people own. Americas hoarding problem is very real and affects more people than you would think. Its great for business when you are a professional household mover but I feel its bad for American society as a whole. I find in general the more stuff people have the more stressed they are during the move and not to mention the massive moving bill they are faced with when we finish. Do yourselves a favor people and get rid of your junk.
I wish it were that easy. Mom was a hoarder. Me and my sister both ended up with depression / hoarding issues. Mom passed recently, I inherited the childhood home and I just feel somewhat helpless when it comes tossing the endless piles of stuff.
@@phiksit I'm in your same position right now. I feel paralyzed and don't know what to keep and what to get rid of. I am so sentimentally attached to things, but there is no way I can use and enjoy everything I already own and everything I inherited. I'm afraid I'll get rid of something and then regret it and feel bad about it forever so I'm stuck right now amongst a LOT of belongings.
@@phiksit start small...1st give urself time and have a reason WHY you want to declutter....once u have ur reason that will become ur self motivation....you have a goal....start small ...one junk drawer at a time...put some music get comfy clothes and keep it eyes on the goal....you will get there my friend Happy New Year you are off to a great start ☺️
@@rmonson5002 let those items bring joy to someone else ☺️
@@phiksit I hear you! My Mom and youngest brother share the family home. Both are hoarders! I shudder to think of the mess left when my Mom dies. Almost 80 years of stuff she's collected that fills a 1400 square foot home plus double garage. My Dad's things are still there as well. It will take multiple dumpsters to get rid of it. Not counting the items we will save. Family pictures and a some mementos will be kept obviously. Good luck with your issue!
I grew up in the North of Spain but I have lived in London with my English husband for 30 years. It always baffles me that other than the huge TV hit programme The Repair Shop, there are literally no repair shops in the High Street at all in the U.K. In my native Asturias I used to take my good quality shoes to repair and have their soles rechanged several times before having to throw them away. They used to last for years and years, and three or four pairs would have been more than enough for me. I always enjoyed making my own clothes and sewing, mending and recycling clothes. It is a creative exercise to figure out how to make a new outfit out of old ones. My family was middle class, we were definitely not poor, not in the least, but when we were teenagers and we learnt to sew, both my sister and I tried to outdo each other with our inventions, making dresses out of old curtains (like Scarlett O’Hara, ha ha🤣), and out of blankets, etc. Waste not, want not was a truly useful motto. If your TV or radio, or toaster, umbrella, etc, packed up, you simply took it to be repaired. It is not possible to do that here as there are no businesses to take these things to. It is, as it has been mentioned, a cultural issue. I have counted 26 pairs of shoes in my downstairs cupboard. I probably only used 5-6 out of those. Shame on me
Teresa yo soy de Madrid y vivi en Londres a finales de los 80 y todo lo quería, volví a Madrid con un gran maleton de ropa que al final no use , mi madre trajo un montón de trastos también. Ahora estoy en el proceso de regalar casi todo , la sensación de libertad es maravillosa , la tv que tengo es de los 90 como poco ( una vecina no la quería ) y no quiero más que lo preciso y poco .PD yo también llevaba los zapatos a reparar y mi madre me hacía los vestidos de niña . Greetings from Madrid 💖💕💕
You're basically telling me how old you are with that narrative. Everything was expensive and made out of metals, wood, leather, bones, and natural fibers right up to the middle of last century, when plastics began to take over. That cheapened the cost of consumer goods, leading to the wasteful disposable pattern you described.
No shame. Glory. Because you can now donate to others as you would have others donate unto you. Not shame. Just Opportunity. Gregg Oreo long Beach Ca Etats Unis
I was brought up in that repair/make do and mend era. Like you, taught all the sewing, knitting, crochet, cooking skills and many more fixi-it skills.
Here's why there are so few repair shops now.....
Several years back I bought a pair of high-end summer shoes, top brand, good quality, would last for years...or so I thought. Wore them for a summer. Next couple of summers I couldn't wear them due to a foot injury which took time to heal.
Got them out the next summer, wore them to go to the local shops and found I was leaving a trail of the moulded sole behind me!
Took them to a reputable shoe repair shop, where the manager explained that they couldn't be repaired because the moulded sole is actually designed by the manufacturer to disintegrate after 2-3 years. In normal use the wearer would just think that they'd worn out the sole.
We are being scammed every which way. And manufacturers are deliberately fuelling this constant buying - thus clutter and hoarding - culture.
Absolutely, you are right and I got to the same conclusion when we were told that a 5 year old TV from a famous brand could not be repaired! An artificial end timeline is already built-in a lot of the items we buy.
Reminds me of my mom, I was the only person that cared about the problem. I remember being like 10 years old wanting to just throw everything away. It stressed me out so much just seeing a giant mess everywhere I looked. I remembered being so embarrassed to invite my friends over..Now a-days I just donate all the things I dont need. It feels really nice to get rid of things.
This is me too! I have my own house now and my family always remarks how clean and tidy it is. They don’t realize how much of a slave they are to junk!
It sounds like you described my childhood exactly! I feel you.
Yep. Except we didn’t have much “clutter” in my house that wasn’t alive. My mother collected pets.
We had countless cats, five dogs, (two of which were Great Danes) some rats, a couple Guinea Pigs, and a Ferret. All in a 700 sq ft house with five kids and two adults.
The dogs and cats defected and urinated in the house often, the caged animals often sat in their own excrement until there were maggots, the dogs tore through the house, from the muddy backyard, flinging mud upon the walls, tracking it all over the floor, and onto our beds.
I was mortified as a child, and the only one of the seven people living there who seemed to notice. I was also the youngest.
Starting around age 9, I would wait til the entire house was asleep to try and clean. I tried in vain to scrub the carpet that had been ruined by dog urine, to wash the caked-on mud off the wood floors, and to clean the cat feces out of the only tub.
As an adult, I am bordering on OCD tendencies when it comes to maintaining a clean house. I’ve been late to work or events, lost sleep, and had attacks of seemingly uncontrollable rage when a mess is made.
I LOVE animals, but I’ve only had one or two at a time. Especially when my kids were small. I made sure they were a breed/type that I could easily care for while not triggering my “OCD”.
When my kids were little, I stayed home with them. My best friend worked, so she used sitters. I couldn't afford a lot of toys, and often our stuff was from garage sales, or passed down through family. But I played with my kids. Every single day. My best friend didn't have free time to play with her kids, but she had the extra income to buy them everything. My kids used to whine that her kids "have everything." And her kids used to whine that my kids had "someone to play with them."
All of the kids turned out fine. But it just goes to show you that the grass is always greener. I think the yearning for "whatever" thing we don't have , has become the human condition. Hence the number of people on medications and suffering this addiction or that. We as a society need to address that, and start encouraging our children to figure out what they love and can be passionate about in this life.
Maree Bow I stayed home too. those were the best years. but I later felt guilty that my son didn't have financial support starting out. yet, I think it makes them better people somehow. people who grow up with money, doesn't have to be a fortune, have no idea what it is like to not have it.
Maree Bow yes! omg yes!
I've been living on my own for about 5 years now, I don't keep anything in my apartment unless I'm going to use it, the only "clutter" me and my husband have is two small boxes; one has me wedding dress and the other has some of my husband's memory stuff from before we were married. Right now I'm helping my parents replace their old carpet with hardwood floors. Just seeing all the absolute junk my parents bought me when I was a kid makes me ill. so much useless garbage toys that I'm fairly certain only held my attention for a few minutes before being thrown in a junk pile. My parents pretty much bought me whatever I wanted because I asked for much less than my older sister, but no way I needed all the dolls and robot dogs they bought me.
this isn't even to mention all the junk they bought themselves. My mother apparently has no less than 5 unopened mascaras, still in their plastic wrapping. They have a million plastic tubs for storing leftovers, none of which have matching lids so they have to plastic wrap over them. They also have a set of dinner plates yet use paper plates all the time. So much waste! why?!
Maree Bow Do you think your kids are now creative? I don't mean as in making things but like figuring out a way around problems, generally bright and positive in outlook, independent etc. Thx
I have a theory that if we don't as a first impulse resort to money when faced with a problem or issue, it forces us to look for other ways to deal with it and often discover extra benefits in the process.
Gotta have 🅱️alance
srini gypsy, how right you are. What many people call creativity, I have always seen as common sense. You take what you have and use it for what you need. We have never had much money and I don't really miss it. I still make what I call, "McGuyver Meals": you take what's lying around the kitchen, throw it together, and if it doesn't blow up, you eat it. I used to make all our clothes (and I more or less taught myself how to do it). I've never considered that to be a big deal, to tell you the truth.
I literally felt my chest tighten looking at some of these spaces. Too much “stuff” causes anxiety in me. 😬
Shannon Lueck same here, I grew up in clutter. In my opinion it was clutter. Once I left home at 22, i kept my stuff to a minimum. Only what I needed. Now 31 and continue to do this. I go through my stuff my kids stuff, every room once a month and take out what is not needed.
@@mariamcclish4197 I hope you discuss it with your kids because Ive heard of multiple hoarder stories that started because their parents would discard their items without asking them so when they became adults they would never throw things away
I have to admit that I'm feeling very uncomfortable and anxious watching this too. So much stuff 😱
Shannon Lueck i felt that too🤦🏾♀️🙇🏽♀️
Painful to watch
This was very interesting as well as informative. It was nice to not have clutter addressed as hoarding and the families weren't judged.
Hoarding and clutter are two totally different issues.
Hoarding is what happens when cluttering gets out of control and taken to an absolute, beyond reasonable, extreme. It can happen to the people in this video too, if they, for one, develop an irrational attachment to everything tied to their children. And it can happen if in general, the items they're accumulating reminds them about some nostalgic past or "better days" that they long miss and, of course, are never coming back.
If people like the ones in the video are not consciously aware of that possibility, and fail to put themselves in check, then the situation of cluttering could spiral out of control becoming downright hoarding. This is something we should all be careful about. I've even seen "Hoarders on wheels" too. Seriously, no joke!
These hoarders on the go are those are the people you see driving around in a real messy car where trash and personal stuff are clearly visible thoughout the interior. Over time, things can gradually pile up and if we're not alert and attention it can happen to any one of us. We gotta be on top of this stuff taking out whatever trash we have every time we exit the car.
Even with feeling that way about what we ought to do, I try to not be overly judgemental towards those who are truly engaged in hoarding behaviors. I don't know what's going on in their lives. So I actually feel bad for a lot of these people. Many need professional help, even if they don't realize it. Some episodes of A&E's show "Hoarders" were difficult to watch.
Many of these hoarders were elderly living in their house filled with mostly trash and clutter that they treasure as their life meaning that often every bit of it reminded them of their past or of loved ones, some who have longed passed away. With piled up personal items, trash and debris (including smelly rotten food items) going from floor to ceiling throughout the home, some houses seen on "Hoarders" are no longer fit for (safe) Human habitation.
The hoarders always have filth feces animal litter trash and broken things broken plumbing broken ceilings Broken Walls broken Mechanicals it's different than having tons of usable beautiful things
Well...they had all of that footage but decided to edit it all out.
To be honest, I think many of these houses look way over stuffed. It's almost hoarding. I think someone from outside the US might think it was hoarding. I live in the US and I want to move away from having a lot of stuff. I don't want my future to look like this. Hoarding versus very cluttered is just a label.
Since this popped up in my recommendations, I am taking this as a sign to organize my crap again. Thank you, Universe.
Same.
Haha same! Exactly what I was thinking. Why is this in my recommendations?! Oh it’s a sign!!
How is it going
Same!
The Universe is nagging me again 😆
I am Brazilian, but I lived in Michigan for 10 months. The family that hosted me for a month (before I could find a place of my own) had "200 hundred" items in their pantry, and I would say that half of them had already expired. Coming from a country where there's so much poverty (and I did see poverty in Michigan as well)...that really saddened me!!!!
Grandparents such as myself, didn't get toys or trinkets all year when we were growing up. It was only Christmas or Birthday that you got gifts. These occasions were such a magical time and opening those presents was such a wonderful experience. What we got lasted us until our next birthday or Christmas. Kids today are given so much stuff throughout the year....Christmas and birthdays have lost the magic!
It is true that this generation did not really stock pile toys. There is other stuff however that older people do have much more of and tend to hold on to, which is probably a sort of compensations for the lack they once experiences: Porcelain, greeting cards, decoration, cups and dishes and whatnot, toys and trinkets from the children and grandchildren. Not to mention the massive wooden furniture and layers of curtains, bedsheets, napkins and tablecloths. At least that's what I'm observing in my work as an organizing coach. I ask a young woman for a glass of water, I get a glass of water. I ask and elderly woman for a glass of water, I get a pretty tray with a pretty coaster on it with and empty glass on it and a tiny porcelain jug with water in it and a cloth napkin next to it. Sure, it's pretty and lovely, but the amount of space required to store all that in 30 variants... (Mind you this might not apply for the US in the same way as I am in europe)
I think a lot of the toy buying is guilt driven because the 2 working parents have little time and energy
Very true! There are also toys at every store and every che k out counter now.
💯
My mom used to always tell me "not every item is a memory". You can't keep everything nor should you. My kids are now grown and getting rid of unnecessary "stuff" from 25 years of raising kids is such a freeing feeling.
Wise mom!
It's called crap. If you don't regularly use it, it's crap. Get rid of it.
Yes! I agree! Buy garbage bags, it cheaper!
M Cutrone It was crap when it was purchased... It does not "become" crap. We need to make better buying decisions and spend our time (money) on worthwhile experiences rather than more "stuff".
M Cutrone yup agreed. once a year I sell or at least give my unused stuff away.
M Cutrone agreed.... I am purging the crap and am so happy to do so!!! it feels freeing
J Applic I stopped going into stores and watching TV. Getting bombarded with "stuff" seems to Jedi mind trick one into acquiring more stuff. I'm enjoying getting rid of things and watching RUclips/Netflix
With the death of my wife and two sons over the last 10 years, I've downsized 3 times. It is so liberating to get rid of accumulations of stuff that are no longer serving a purpose. I've used the criteria of: "if I were getting on a plane and leaving in 2 hours, never to return, what stuff would matter to me?" The rest of the stuff can be used by others and passed on or discarded. Another rule: If I croaked tomorrow, I want my living kids to be able to clean my house out in 8 hours. So far, I'm living by this and feel a much lighter existence. It's great! Loved this video; it is a gem.
NOTE: I've wondered if our clutter also signifies boredom, attention deficit and a culture that is in need of instant gratification. Maybe a reason why our social/political culture is so vulnerable to the need for chaos and polarity that we now have in 2021?
I've analyze my stuff. Problem is I'm an artist. I see art in everything. Also the dollar store and thrift store made everything too cheap. I clear out about every 10 years but really not easy. I struggle with neat freak n artist. Constant conflict.
Sorry to hear that. I think because everyone is so glued to their phones + the economy and everything else going on over the past few years... everyone is just burnt out and bored.... I can only speak of how I'm feeling and if I'm feeling this way.... I know I'm the only one who feels this.
I'm sorry for your loss. I lost my dad at the beginning of the year and it was hard to go through all his and my old belongings to trash or keep. But since I didn't want to further clutter my own home I didn't end up keeping much stuff besides photos and some old clothing of his.
Hobbies, tools for too many interests. Haven’t totally figured that out yet.
My mama was a hoarder she was my heart when she passed away in 2005 it broke my heart. I watched her spend her life accumulating things and not enjoying life. That changed me forever I have zero attachment to anything unless it’s a definite need.
The hoarding is a symptom of unresolved mental disorders. There was nothing you could have done to convince her of decluttering. My grandmother was also a hoarder. She was from time to time haveing a session where she moved the clutter from one place in her overcrowded apartment to another. But in reality she never decluttered. When she was ill, we had to declutter and clean her apartment to take better care for her. This made her totaly panic and beeing paranoid
I am from a south american country, and are considered middle class. I used to live in the States, and what overwhelmed me the most and seemed very strange is how children´s stuff literally took over all the households of american families I got to know. they had no more "adult" spaces, spaces for themselves, or to be with their partner, where children´s stuff was not involved. this kind of habit simply doesnt exist in latin america, children have toys in their room, and some may even have a "toy room", bur spaces like the living room, the master bedroom and dining area are left for the adults. it would be interesting to note how these different customs influence behaviour in children, boundaries, limitations, etc
Michelle rizo patron interesting. When I was growing up, I had two sisters and we had a play room and our bedrooms. But I think the rest of the house was just normal adult family space no toys. Now I am grown, I have a small two bedroom home with one small living room space. I have a baby and the living room has a baby play yard toys and other baby things. I don’t have a big enough house! Houses are god damn expensive and I’m being smart not to go overboard with a mortgage I can’t afford. If toys are in the living space so be it!
If my son’s toy got into my room, out to garbage bin it goes . His toys are limited to his room (toy section) and part of his writing desk.
Interesting thought.
Michelle rizo patron It's having love for one's children. If it bothers you to see a kid's toy in your bedroom or living room don't have kids. It's kind of mean. Some people love their kids, especially Americans.
Saadi X That's not it at all. It's not mean to want your home to feel like one instead of a Toys 'R Us stock room. There's nothing wrong with limiting the toys to a certain area. Clutter can cause anxiety, and make a space feel uncomfortably tight no matter the size. Not to mention it can be a safety hazard.
It's so unnecessary to have toys laying around in their bedroom AND the living room AND your bedroom AND the bathroom AND the kitchen. That's ridiculous. My Jamaican momma played with me and my toys in the living room- and sometimes even in her room- but my stuff was put in cubbies in my room afterwards.
No one's talking about being disgusted at the sheer sight of any toys ever, but it's okay for them to have a place and stay in that place unless exceptions are made for whatever reason. If I'm folding laundry in my bedroom and my child wants to be in eyesight of me, I'd let them play with their toys in my room but they'll be going back into the kid's room afterwards. I don't think a parent is wrong for wanting a few spaces in the house just for alone time or with no kids' stuff.
If you would let kids have their stuff taking over all of the walking and sitting space in the house all of the time, maybe you are the one who shouldn't have kids. Boundaries and organization matter; they are things that need to be taught and upheld. You must know nothing about creating healthy environments for family living. Don't spread foolishness smh
I would legitimately have a heart attack if my home looked like these homes. In my own life, I've noticed that when you have a specific decor design for a room, you don't continue to shop because the room is completed. Any new item would clash with the decor design for that room. I've noticed people who don't have a certain look in mind for a room continue to shop for knick nacks for a future design that they haven't settled on or will never execute.
Rachel Stephens That is so so true! Many friends of mine just go for a "general idea" for a room and suddenly every useless piece of decoration will seem fitting and they buy it
Rachel Stephens yes!! Prevents accumulation of crap that you 'might need'
That's called OCD.
You can take it too far when having a specific decor... I remember a specific "Property Brothers" episode where one of the people on the show made their living room a little too nautical. They even incorporated shiplap into the design of the room!
That makes me seasick to think about it. You know what else cuts down on clutter? Moving. Even if you plan to stay where you are, try having a moving preparation day once a year or so.
When I was growing up, my dad was in the military and we moved somewhat frequently, about every 4 years. That isn't frequent to many other military families. It was often enough that we cleaned out every time we moved. We had little clutter and we didn't buy too much because we either couldn't afford it or it would be a pain to move next time. As an adult, I have left the city in which I attended college. I had a house for 23 years. It was big and the amount of clutter and dirt that accumulated was astounding when we moved. We sold, donated and threw out about half the stuff we owned. Some stuff we didn't even remember getting or using.
One way to declutter is to either move or act as if you are moving. Get a pod and move out of your house one room at a time, then move back in. You'll dump a lot just because you get tired of sorting through stuff and moving it because you haven't seen or used it in years. It's better if you actually move, but moving out of a room completely changes how you see it and all the stuff in it. The stuff we own ends up owning us.
What is a pod? Is that for living in when one moves out of a room? I've not heard that word before.. It may work that technique you mention. Thankyou
@@twodogzdogue8710 a pod is a storage container a company moves to your house so you can put stuff in it to store or move. When you're done, they will pick it up and store your things for you or move it to your new home for a fee, or they will pick up the empty one. It's a mobile storage and moving unit..
30 years living here. tons of stuff. my only regret is when i try to find a certain item. my neighbor (whose place is nice and neat) is often wanting to "borrow" my junk.
I have 6 month rule. If it has not been used or worn in 6 months it probably never will be. Then it has to go.
Yep. I moved a lot in my late teens/early twenties. Reached a point where I could literally fit my entire life in two suitcases. I kinda miss the simplicity of my life back then.
This was a wake up call for me. I don’t own much, but i am not a minimalist. Some people say that my flat is so empty or that i own so little kitchen tools. It makes one feel guilty for have ng so little. Now i see how free i feel inside. Not empty. Free.
Suedefussy. Congratulations!! I envy you.
! i completely understand how you feel. oftentimes i beat myself up for not wanting mote things, but i know if i buy things i genuinely do not need, i will ultimately feel bad
I can't stand clutter or waste myself . I'm single and retired . I sold my house and live in an apartment , which I love .
My fridge looks empty because I grocery shop every two days and don't waste food . I think this is the way to go.
I live in a studio and everything i have i use daily...ive had to stock pile on food cause of this pandemic and my work hours and store hrs dont coincide for the moment but I cook all my meals and have enough food for the month
Oh man, I nanny in a home much like these ones, and it’s my job to clear out the endless clutter every day. It’s so exhausting. I’m working on teaching the kids to clean up after themselves and get rid of things they don’t need, but it’s a huge learning curve.
My home had a single clutter room growing up. But it was nothing like this. It seems like a weird sickness to me. I’m interested to see what changes will occur within the family once I am able to get the space to a more livable level.
And ohh my god. The “child centered house” comment is so real. Spot on.
I’m so glad I’ve never been attached to collecting “things”. It’s great to see that minimalism is growing. Crowded homes full of useless stuff make me stressed. I was born in the early 80s. I remember all the Houses full of china cabinets with stacks dishes for once a year use, rooms decorated that weren’t to be used, walls covered with figurines shelf’s. Barf. That. Is. Over.
I never stop criticizing my parents for having a $12,000 dining room set that we used about 5 times ever.
alexiswritingvideos lol exactly!!!🤦🏼♀️🤦🏼♀️🤣🤣
Here Kitty Kitty One of my dreams in life is to one day sell it to someone for top dollar and undo my parents’ mistake.
Praise God that it's over...I don't understand how it ever started. Marketing I know, but hopefully that dies quickly after we've seen how bad it can get.
@Winter Wonder bravo
I think the spatial distribution of grocery stores in North America also plays a large role in what and how Americans shop.
I have to go declutter something now.
I hear you! I love to clean since it shows
I love time lapse videos
All to pat myself on the back...
😂 me too, I'm so uncomfortable watching this.
Hahaha, after watching I was looking for something to declutter and I declutter a draw and my fridge :)
I'm preparing the list of things I need to declutter right now! bua hahahahah
😁
We buy stuff we don't need with money we don't have to impress people we don't know.
In tyler we trust
AMETHYST DREAM Dave Ramsey didn't invent that saying
Super Kyle copy and paste is always insightfull
AMEN!
Super Kyle And people that don't care.
I'm NEVER going back to the clutter life. Never. It was more damaging than I thought and now that I'm out I'm never going back
Well Done Cavalier. This will help you spiritually aswell. Where there is Cleanliness There is Godliness. PEACE
My mother is 82. She said you spend the first half of your life getting stuff, you spend the second half of your life getting rid of it.
We all need to learn frugal, sustainable, and budget driven living.
I grew up in the seventies. My brother and I owned 2 Curver boxes, filled with toys and games. At dinnertime we put all the toys back, washed our hands and sat down for dinner. No mess no argues. Those were simply happy times.
As a culture we are doing a lot mindlessly. What if we treated our spaces sacred? Passed the attitude of really taking care of our things to our children, to avoid shopping unless we really need something, practice putting off buying the "wants" purchasing the "needs" on an as needed basis, not stock piling. What if we made room in our lives to actually live fully, not just cope?
Kathleen Gustafson Your comment is worth at least 100 thumbs-up.
Amazing comment. Thank You!!
Perhaps we have escaped our responsibilities because of the need for constant entertainment in the way of our cell phones, face book, video games, etc. I look at my crap and just escape to RUclips.
Kathleen Gustafson I am probably the one person you describe to a "T"...My husband and I raised our now grown son and daughter in the '80's.We were not college educated working class,and we worked our behinds off just to pay rent,vehicle and basics.My kids never wore name brand,we shopped at Goodwill(and still love it) and I made every cent for groceries scream.I made my share of Hamburger Helpers,but rarely did we go fast food.I bought bulk large cans of vegs and Ziploc bagged them into portions and scoured sales.We paid our bills and had food and shelter.We never had much money but we learned to do the best we could do.Working poor- that was us.We made pizza,sushi,cookies etc at home and had fun.As tough as times were I relish the blessings it required.The stress was powerful but it's about priorities and responsibility that were choices freely made.I wish we'd had Costco or Sam's back then.We never had money or the luxury of accumulating clutter and it made all more creative and self sufficient out of necessity for doing/making things you can't waste money on.
Kathleen Gustafson "What if we made room in our lives to actually live fully and not just cope?" Exactly. Absolutely.
Every time I see a documentary that talks about how infrequently families sit down to eat dinner together it surprises me all over again. Eating together is one thing that is so ingrained in our family, that once, when my kids were much younger, their father had to work too late for us to wait to eat with him, and so the kids and I ate together instead. And at bedtime that night, the kids asked why we never had dinner. Because despite everything else about our dinner being the same as usual, without all of us being there, they didn't even recognize it as "dinner". They saw it as "lunch" because lunch was a meal where it was just us without their dad, who was at work at lunchtime. So they thought we had 2 lunches that day. (Which I guess also had them thinking Mom was acting weird that day, but they were nice enough not to comment on that. ;) )
That’s adorable. I miss family dinners
Same here! I've always had dinner with my family, even if it meant eating several hours later than I might prefer. It's crazy to me that so many people don't eat with their family.
Eating together is the best.
The best thing I recently did was grab a large contractor bag and started going around my house, and anything I didn't really "need" I put in the bag and donated all of it to a local church. There is so much waste going into producing all these unnecessary things and so much money people spend on them. I have also stopped buying things I just wanted and didn't need. I only buy absolutely necessary things. I am now saving a lot more money and am taking better care of my health. Meal prepping homemade meals, eating fresh salads, and buying better quality food, instead of more food. My comfort is coming from feeling in control of my life and surroundings and not letting my possessions define or control me.
You are on your way! You will never regret it.
I think the root of everything is that our culture has stopped valuing our time -time spent at home, time spent caring for each other, cooking, cleaning, or just doing nothing. When women entered the workforce, that should have meant more flexibility for all workers, it shouldn't take 80 hours a week of labor to support a family!!!! Parents and caretakers, and everyone really - should have more time off! (While still making a living wage!)
I've always said ( and my mom) that most of these women do not HAVE to work. They want to work. They don't want to be home doing the things you mentioned. It's more fun leaving the house everyday and spending/wasting money on stuff. I still see the same thing constantly! The false feminist bull. They are NOT happy!
I do think there are a lot of cases where the family chooses to have two incomes due to the influences of feminism and materialism. Especially if both or one of the spouses is a high-wage earner. And I would agree with you that those women, and probably their families, are not actually happy.
However, the rising cost of health insurance and groceries is simply unaffordable for many families on one income. My husband works hard 50+ hours/week at his job, and I watch other children in my home to earn money, and we still require government assistance for our children's healthcare. I know other "middle class" families where the wife has chosen to stay at home (or work from home) who are in the same situation. It's embarrassing! But if I were to work outside the home again, I would not make enough money to even set off the cost of childcare, let alone be able to afford health insurance without assistance if our income bracket went up. Thank God I love my job as wife and mom :)
Some women who have more earnings potential can afford to pay for those services and choose to do so to avoid being on government assistance. I don't think you can say either decision is right or wrong without knowing someone's individual situation. It's a systemic problem. The single-income middle class is disappearing.
House pets
YUP
These women do nothing alllllll day, everyday. Even with several kids in the house. They whine and vent and complain about exhaustion. They wont even make dinner, or any other meal. Dad comes home from working all day and has to do dinner, etc.
SERIOUSLY!?!
I have been a stay at home wife for almost 2 months....my place is way cleaner...the bed gets made daily...laundry and cooking get done. I love being home. Yes we have a tight budget to do this but it is really worth it.
.
EXACTLY! Instead, people need $1,000 Iphones, tons of toys with no time to play with them for Christmas and Birthdays,... cars they can't afford,.. houses they can't afford, or (just getting by the mortgage payment with never money to save) God forbid if they had a real financial emergency. My ex-girlfriend's mom, would by her grandson toys, and expensive things he has never used, and never will! Why would you buy a kid an expensive basketball hoop setup, if the kid doesn't even like basketball! It's crazy things like this I'll never understand about people!
When my son and his wife bought their first home, I told them to shop my home and take anything they wanted. They showed up with a UHaul and did a good job. A lot was left, so I offered a lot more to a young couple at church with two kids and an empty house. Then I sized down from 4000 sf to 800 sf, and gave boxes to the Salvation army. I will never go back. Side benefit: my son got everything that he felt sentimental about while he was young. I assured my DIL than when time came to replace, it was hers to get rid of, no concern of mine.
That's brilliant!!! 👍👍👍
Great idea. We should all do more of this type of thing.
@@Boules99 I have a neighbor who did. Her daughter moved a couple doors down. For weeks the girl was going back and forth with arm loads of stuff from her mom's place. I think that's a wonderful idea, too.
I've been living minimally for the last five years and it has taught me that the more stuff you have the more bad stuff you let in your life. Idk why it is like that it is just something I have noticed the people in my life with more stuff have way more issues, especially mental health issues. It's like having more stuff they think it hides their mental problems that they are not working on. One other thing I have noticed is when I started living this way, more bad people started coming into my life and I will explain what I mean by this. When a someone that isn't good for your life sees that you do not have much stuff they use it as a opportunity to come in the back door of your life disguising it with a "giving" type mentality. They bring you stuff every time they see you and if you accept just one of these gifts you open up a whole can of narcissism real quick. I have learned from my mistakes and I'm very thankful for that because my life has become a lot better and my mental health has improved significantly since I started living minimally
I've always been somewhat of a minimalist most of my life but have really focused on minimizing my apartment over the last three years and can testify that it is so freeing and peace-inducing.
SonshineLady same.
I'm so glad that at the young age of 24 I have started to adopt a minimalist lifestyle and trying to also transition into a zero or at least minimal waste lifestyle.
I think zero waste is a wonderful goal. Minimalism as goal may or may not be for me, but I'm aiming for a lot less waste - either in food or 'things' I buy.
Me too! But started in late 20s tho
It's easy to be minimalist when we're young. Try it a couple decades down the line of accumulating things and having a family.
It's hard...I've given up slave and sweatshop clothing 10 times and have to keep trying. But I have a vision, in spite of living at poverty line on Social Sec. God has put a burden on me as a prayer for those poor factory workers.
Wife goals
One trick to this is to delete all the shopping apps on your phone if you shop online a lot. Out of sight, out of mind.
This is an excellent suggestion. You can't shop riding the bus or standing in line if you lose the shopping apps. Good.
People had shopping addictions before online shopping...*The More You Know*
not just that, unsubscribe, stop notifications from social media too, use adblocks.
Okay how have I never thought of this
This trick works only for a short time...because your not addressing the Root cause
I would DIE if people came into my house and saw all of the crap. This was so interesting and kudos to the families that opened their doors for the sake of research.
At least you know you have a lot of stuff. If you have the courage and will to minimise your possessions, it will transform your life for the better. You will feel more relaxed and liberated. It really works!
I'm curious how you're doing two years later. Have you decluttered much?
@@baus7 Hi, if you came over unexpectedly you would see a lot of papers and things piled on the dining table, clothes on the bathroom floor and maybe some dirty dishes in the sink. I can get the house clean in about an hour so that's progress. My daughter has a lot of friends come over so I try to keep it organized. Our garage is a hot mess and we have a spare room with some stuff piled on the bed. Not too bad. It's better than it was two years ago.
@@madamepaulettes5337 progress👏👏
My life philosophy has been to collect experiences instead of stuff so I have worked a minimum, saved my money and taken off most of my life to have adventures all over the world. I was strongly influenced by an environmental science class I took back in the early 70's during my college years. I realized right away that materialism and over population were literally killing the planet so I made a conscious decision to live my life so I minimized my contribution to both problems. I didn't father any children, I buy second hand when possible and I minimize my energy usage (most of my travel has been self propelled - paddling, backpacking, sailing, and bicycle touring). We all need to do our part. By avoiding materialism, I've had a great, healthy life (70 now) and only worked 22 years of my adult life. Free yourself!!
I truly wish that more people would live that way. I'm trying to do my part, too. I've also not had any children, intentionally. I try to waste little to nothing. And I have learned to collect much less than I once did. Very little now compared to most Americans. I haven't done as well as you at this. But I'm trying, too. I truly wish that more people would at least try.
What a well lived life.
Thank you
👏👏👏⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
@@mandan3899 how is this sad and selfish?
This is a more recent phenomenon. When my children were small they had very few toys as did most children. That was back in the early 70's. But ten to twenty years later, it all changed. I am astounded at how children are indulged and how adults indulge themselves. I've always practiced 'use it up, wear it out, make it do, do without". I think people have lost the ability to think. It's like stuff is a drug and the constant marketing everyone is exposed to via TV, radio, print, the internet, etc numbs people and they cease to think. And food portions, OH MY. Back in the 60's in my family a 2ounce serving of meat was the norm. A small serving of potato and green beans comprised your meal. And no dessert followed unless it was a holiday or your birthday or you had company, which was rare. And no snacks in between meals (although I observed the TV children being served after school milk and cookies by their mothers) either. We did not constantly eat and drink. Today people go about with a drink in hand; like a toddler w/ a sippee cup. It's crazy. And cleaning products. In my mothers home, and mine when I got married, we used Comet and Windex. We might wax our floors once or twice a year. For our laundry we used washing powder, bluing for our whites and Lysol to disinfect. Today people have dozens of cleaning products. And closets bulging with clothes. And they don't even blink when they spend $4 on an iced coffee they could make at home for pennies! Starbucks is always packed. It's crazy. We have, imo, been programmed to this excess b/c those who sell the stuff make more money if/when we spend more. While we all have free will and can say no, if we do not realize we are being manipulated we likely won't be aware we have a problem.
Dinahsoar so correct..
It's called being spoiled.
Agreed! I take my coffee and tea from home. I cut up fruit in baggies and drive right on by all the fast food and drink places. I make my own salads, and other meals at home. Did the same when kids were young. Going out was a treat, so was bringing home pizza!
Dinahsoar so so true
The explosion of toys related to television and movies began in 1978; after the release of Star Wars. Also, remember when Happy Meals were created and each one came with a toy?
My cortisol levels are through the roof just watching this!
Who are you telling felt very anxious watching this stuff 😰
This is inspiring! Our home is minimalistic yet our master bedroom is where the clutter is at 😅 I have to purge my bedroom. I think growing up poor makes me want to hold on to my things for dear life
Same. It's like if you know you couldn't afford to replace it, you actually *need* to keep what you have. I struggle with this with clothes a lot. There was a time when I was a teen when I didn't actually own any jumpers/hoodies and would just layer multiple tee shirts to keep warm at school. When I was younger I just wore a lot of my parents old jumpers, even though they were huge on me, I liked them! But I couldn't do that as a teen. It's hard to explain that to people these days. That's why I find it hard to let any item of clothing go, even if it might have holes worn in it!
It's five months since you wrote your comment - have you done any purging?
I'm moving in a couple of months so hope to do some purging along the way.
@@MissIncorrigibleOfOz Hey, I stumbled across your comment and would humbly, yet passionately suggest purging prior to your move. It worked wonderfully for me, and I had to move three times in a year and a half. Knowing that everything you own is something you truly want or need makes the experience far less stressful and exciting.
@MissIncorrigibleOfOz I’ve donated about 5 bags full of clothes and miscellaneous items and I’m currently getting other family members involved to do a big yard sale next month to get rid of the rest! I’m very excited and I’ve already been moving stuff into bags/boxes for next month! My room has been looking a lot better thankfully!
Thank you for an interesting study and findings..my mom now 86, in her last 30 years of her post retirement life is an organized hoarder and clearly a person with OCD. I'm from South East Asia and I live with my mom all my childhood and adult life during my single days and single-again years. I have literally grown in a house full of memorabilia items of almost 100 years old and they are all tagged with her handwritten labels, neatly wrapped and organised in boxes of big plastic containers stacked up to the ceiling of the room all the way from bedroom into living hall. These are family collections over the years of the many travelling around the world. They are very sentimental values to her and no one is allowed to remove or reduce for a better living space. Our life changed when she had a fall in 2016 from a mild stroke and was diagnosed with mixed Alzheimer and Dementia, her mood changed to more severe towards clinging and obsessed over the unfinished organising her favourite things. Towards her sundowning and frequent fall eposides strickened her to be bedbound due to the fact of her poor mobility and declining memory, she gradually accepted her conditions and finally granted me the permission to reduce recycle and remove all her beloved belongings as what I can do best. I took the first step identifying and sorting all items by categories and to realize her mission was to pass on the items to her children and grandchildren. I realised now how she wanted to leave behind her "legacy" through arrays of her favourite things and stack full of photo albums which today seems to be like an eye sore. Our life improves once we have switched roles my mom with dementia is living with me under my terms and my rules. I have started with decluttering and sorting all her collections many of which were given away for charity, sold at car boot sales, disposed and gave away to my siblings and to my nephews and nieces. My greatest achievement is to convert tons of the family photo albums into digital format and turned my living space emptied from stack of physical albums and into a cosy corner. I'm now a happy home owner and NOT a store keeper anymore. I have passed down a less is more lifestyle concept to my college going daughter.
Wow that is quite an accomplishment on your part. So much hard work and dedication taking care of a Loved One with Dementia and Alzehimer's disease. To honour her in the way you did. You should feel very proud of the Lovingkindness that you showed her. And to spend all of that time seeing that her possessions were passed on to family members and charity. I am very impressed. I hope you take time to enjoy your life. You deserve to have peace and joy in your life. You were such a blessing to your Loved One. I am inspired by your story, Thank you for sharing. I am sending love and hugs from Washington State, USA, Jeanne of In Loving Hands Counseling and ASMR
Dealing with relatives possessions is a huge job for anyone to tackle after the parent is deceased or like your mother no longer able to live in their own home. Thank goodness my mother had very little to sort through, she did me a big favor at the end of her life.
God bless you for your patience for for trying to honor your Mother’s wishes. I’m afraid I have kept far too much of my parents’ belongings/collections and finally stored much of it and paying through the nose for that. When you are working and have little time to sort/declutter/sell things, it is so easy to just get it out of sight and “worry about it later.” I am now almost 4 years out and have done essentially nothing. Finally retired and how. hopeful I can get started. It is so overwhelming, it is hard to know where to start. Also embarrassing to allow anyone to see/help. You’re a good role model!
I have a rule: my house = my rules, in my relatives' houses = their rules.
No matter how close these people are to me (mother, sister, etc), I consider it to NOT be my business what they fill their own space with. With healthy boundaries life is easier.
I really like how this documentary points out the large amount of clutter in family houses in the US without shaming the families for doing it. While my family has never gotten to an extreme point of this we still have more clutter than I like. I declutter my personal items about every 6mos and decided I will continue to do the same when when I start my own household. It truly is nicer to have less stuff which has the added benefit of being able to invest more in experiences
"Toys are possessions of the parents as well as the children." That is mind blowing! 😂
That was so true with my mom. I'd be over a toy and she couldn't part with it because she loved it.
I’ve witnessed this a lot with loved ones who have kids- the kids have SO much stuff, because their parents refuse to let go of the things they spent buttloads of money on. 😕
The "child-centric home" concept blew my mind. Certainly wasn't the case when I was a kid.
mmacrini I know, right? I remember discussing this in an Early Childhood Development class. It’s not a good thing, a home and a family needs to be “family-centric”. It deserves to be. 😕
Ashaliyeva Marie this makes me feel so much better for insisting that my kids keep their stuff upstairs in their rooms. One or two stuffies can come downstairs if they’re actively playing with it but then: take it back up you hooligans 😂
I remember the days when the kids were little and that there was so much extra we didn’t need. It used to stress me out. Back then, it was my idea to “organize” as opposed to declutter. I have been on a decluttering journey for years. I’ve come to a bit of a gridlock but we are in a much better place than we used to be. ❤
In my case, I grew up in extreme poverty, so when I started work and had money, I just bought stuff
Understood
When I got divorced I filled two carts with food at store.
I was so afraid I would starve...
That's completely understandable
Definitely makes me want to throw at least 75% of my "stuff" out or give to charity! Less is more!
Karyn McDonald This is exactly what we're currently doing. So freeing! And we didn't start with 1/4 of what this video shows. Scary.
Ad Astra, Bonnie
Badass & Magic
Karyn McDonald how much did you actually throw out as a result?
Karyn McDonald did you purge your stuff??
Aaron ___ I've thrown out so much and I've missed nothing
Less Waste KY Home Good to hear. I'm not making much progress.
This is very eye opening. Even when I look back at old videos from the 50s, their homes were never this cluttered and the children did not have this many toys. I'm definitely going to work towards getting rid of useless junk and not fall prey to consumerism.
@@tailgatecarpenter26 💯
Well, to be fair, it would have been a much bigger deal to have a film crew come to your home in the 1950s. No small video cameras back then! People would have cleaned. Also, both parents didn't need to work outside of the home. Not sure how tv factors in, if at all.
Not in the homes that made it on to TV, obviously.
Probably because both adults did not work full time. There was only one income and it was budgeted.
Kids didn't need a lot of toys because they played outside a lot. Stick and a ball was enough for some.
Girls might have been inside learning cooking or sewing.
And I will say, people were happier back then.
On a personal note, I was born 1961, I had plenty of toys in my room. My older brother had plenty by then as well. So did my friends. Toys were kept in the bedroom, mostly.
@@LeshaAnn
Well what about home video? There were video cameras back then. I have several 8 mm films from the 50s when my older brother was little.
This vid is a prime example of why I’m a minimalist. Not a sparse, empty room minimalist. But an “only have what I need or use regularly” minimalist. It really is a much less stressful living. A quiet room makes for a nice and quiet mind. It allows one to relax in their home.
Boring
@@RUclipsuser1aa Toxic troll
When we traveled in past, I stopped buying souvenirs....memories and photos are enough.
Me too!!
My goal when I travel is to bring home one new idea....when I see it, I snap a photo....could be a plant for our garden, a design idea etc.
If I travel anywhere, I send myself a postcard on the last day before I go home: I usually arrive home before it and I get a nice surprise and souvenir when it arrives!
@@mynameislg8549 nice idea!
@@lindalee5440 such a great idea.
I grew up in a home like this. Stuff everywhere and nobody knew what we actually had or where it was. I used to think that "a place for everything and everything in it's place" would be a stressful mindset, because managing so much stuff and making sure it's all in it's place sounded like a full time job, so it's a lot easier to ignore it. Now I have my own home, I'm intentional about what I own and IT'S SO NICE to know what I have and where it is, and makes tidying up infinitely quicker and easier. My whole home is the sanctuary they talked about with the master bedrooms, and whenever I visit homes with random clutter everywhere it stresses me out even though it's not mine! Recently, when clearing out my childhood bedroom my dad was shocked that I was happy to get rid of a bunch of old stuffed animals that I was never that attached to and tried to convince me to keep them. I said "no Dad, I don't need them taking up space in my house" When I have kids, I will not allow their toys to take over.
We have such a wasteful society
It’s so incredible looking back to the past when I was a child and seeing how nothing has changed now as an adult. Of course, back then I was the one making the mess and now I’m the one cleaning up the mess - then when I have kids I’ll be making the mess again, and when I’m elderly I’ll throw everything away again. The true cycle of life.
Everything you own will wind up one day in the trash , Goodwill or some thrift store or some sort of resale shop.
I am trying to move to more of a minimalist life style. I told my kids when I get old I want everything I own to fit into a bandana on a stick.
Haha love it.. same
My goal as well. It's no wonder so any are in debt when you see how much they spend on wasted food and trash toys.
@@auntlavinia8170 Omg, food and toys, really... Do I have to eat it if I no longer want it or it's gone bad?! And toys from strictly practical point of view are all trash because children are actually perfectly happy to play with literally anything
How many toys do children need in reality? I am from the Philippines. I am scandalized by the culture of acquisitiveness of Americans. There is so much waste of money happening on what will end up as garbage later on!
I grew up with a single mom who was a hoarder and three other siblings, so those two things combined means our home was always a cluttered chaos. It would give me so much anxiety living in that that when I finally moved out I intentionally lived as a bit of a minimalist and organize absolutely everything, also clean daily even if it’s just a quick sweep.
Seeing this video brought back some of that repressed anxiety, so much that I had to get up and clean, re-organize, etc.
it's the same for families with no children but living in a run-down tiny rentals. the real issue is low-pay jobs, consumer debts, and unaffordable housing. the disappearance of the middle-class in general. you hoard and eat junk food because you're full of cortisol day and night, which is your stress and fear, and being tired. and you never have time to clean up or cook. and yes, I agree that women suffer more than men.
YES
Absolutely this.
Poverty is created by the governments round the world.
As a professional home cleaner, I’ve been in many homes. Yes, people have way too much stuff AND clothing. Homeowners are frustrated with their clutter but refuse to declutter. Because of this I try to live with a minimalist idea. If I buy a new pair of shoes, an old pair gets donated or thrown out.
Have you noticed that the people with the messiest homes usually dress well and look well put together? It's true!
I too clean houses for a living. Many times people need less cleaning and more organizing.
Too much stuff not enough space for it all.
@@714Tinkerbella Organizing the clutter won`t help. They need to declutter. But most are ignorant that decluttering is even a thing. Their brain is in " hoarding" mode. And when there is alot of chaos around them, they think they need cleaning og organizing. But in reality it is the clutter that created the mess in the first place