Me too I went on a date with a butch yesterday and I felt very uncomfortable because she pressured me to hold hands with her, flirted with me even though I already told her that I'm not ready for a relationship...also I don't like her appearance and she's very dirty (she didn't even wash her hands after going to the bathroom)
I'm a lip gloss wearing femme lesbian. I only like women who look like women and not men. I never meet other femmes who only date femmes. Honestly most of the girls I find myself attracted to are straight or bisexual. Thanks for making this content, I feel so alone in my attractions.
Same. I’ve even tried using dating apps, which is definitely not my cup of tea, but the vast majority of the women there don’t really resemble an actual woman, so I ended up deleting them. I’ve given up on trying to find someone a long time ago. If they happen to unexpectedly pop into my life, then great. If not, oh well, c'est la vie.
@@hazz999This is me exactly! I’m bisexual and only like girly girls like myself and masculine men. I do find butch women to be attractive from time to time but I really like feminine women more.
Wow, this has helped so much. I never realized why I’ve had such a hard time dating but now realize it’s because I’m a bi femme who has so far only been attracted to femmes. It’s very frustrating.
@@rachelgeraci I'm a lesbian as well, although I think I may have seen somewhere in your videos that you may actually be a bisexual woman with much higher romantic interest in women. That's besides the point though. I don't think the issue is that femmes are "unloved" by other femmes. I think most femmes are actually more into femmes than into butches. But there may be 2 factors at play here: 1. Many femmes are actually bisexual women and even if they declare themselves to be lesbians, subconsciously they are still looking for that man-woman dynamic probably because they're already used to it. The majority have dated men before they started dating women. Butches are just better at playing into that; often times they mimic male behavior, including the bad stuff. So it's more about a vibe than anything else. 2. This applies to femme lesbians, but it's very close to what happens in case 1. Although they are lesbians, many femmes still have too many feminine traits to balance those of other lesbian femmes. When they are both femmes and roughly young, they tend to be shy, undecisive, scared, they may not even know how to have sex with a woman or initiate some sexual encounter. They may even think that you're not into them because they can't read very well those female subtle gestures that show they like you romantically and sexually. I would suggest the reason most femme lesbians/bisexuals end up with butches is because butch lesbians are more direct and insistent when dating. They will try to seduce the girl, they express their sexual interest more directly, and they take charge of the dating process. I've seen it with my lesbian friends: butches do all the stereotypical male gentleman stuff such as buy flowers, open the doors, pay for the dates, drive he around, send her romantic/sexy texts/poems etc. Women just love that and it will overdrive their natural attraction, so they end up with butches even when they prefer femmes. That's my 2 cents though.
I thought I was bisexual for years but many people around me have said they think I’m probably just gay. Lately I’m starting to come to my own conclusions and I’ve started to accept that I am a lesbian. I prefer femmes or even stems (to an extent) in looks and energy. And you’re right, the dating pool is so small. I also think this is one of the reasons that I’ve felt so awkward over the years & maybe tried to hide who I am with getting with guys I wasn’t actually attracted to, because I didn’t want to feel like a predator. even though I know I’m not one, I feel this is what internalised homophobia does. Another reason i sometimes entertain men even tho I know in my gut I’m not into it at all (even if they’re good looking and have good personalities!!) is because it is kinda lonely not receiving any attention at all from who I *want* to be getting it from. I’ve only just started to accept myself and realise this for myself in the last few months, and finding this video is really comforting for me on my journey, so thank you 😊
So glad I could help you on your journey. I understand about faking liking men--i think we all do it. But, better to realize sooner rather than later and live with regrets.
Oh this has been me, for years. Yesterday was my 25th birthday and I said enough of this hideous behavior. I have accepted that I'm actually a lesbian,I just came out to my online friends. It feels so freeing.
I really appreciated this video. There is nothing wrong with dating preferences or sexual preferences. It doesn't matter if it is about style, personality or physical attributes. It really needs to be said more.
I’m a femme, and I’ve been attracted to other femmes since as long as I can remember. During my teens it was confusing and frustrating. I had only one single girlfriend, and that relationship lasted less than a year. I had a MAJOR crush on a girl from my class (in high school), but she was straight. When I went to college things were a bit easier (I came out), but getting dates was still hard. Most of the girls I fell in love with were either straight or bisexual, and I mostly had one night stands. Luckily, for over a year now, I’m in a relationship with a wonderful, beautiful, kind and sweet girl. I’m 24 now, and I hope she and I will soon be able to move in together. And after that, I really want to marry her!
So glad I saw your video. I am femme and i am attracted to other femmes. When i first became at peace for the fact I am not straight, i lived in San Francisco for awhile and i ONLY saw femmes with butches. It seemed like it was almost not a real "thing" to be a femme preferring others like herself. I saw it was rare enough that there was a special org for them called Femme 2 Femme or something like that. And when i hung out in women only spaces like the Whiptail Lizard Lounge i got the cold shoulder from almost everybody BUT trans women. THEY treated me like a human being and I'll always be grateful. Honestly I doubt many lesbians were real kind to them so I am glad I was kind to them. Nobody likes to feel unwanted. I almost began feeling the only way I can identify myself to my tribe is if I changed my fashion sense and butched it up more but i LOVE my makeup and i do NOT like wearing trousers or baggy clothes. PS I am bisexual but i think the reason so many bi women give up trying to find chicks is because if chicks do not like us much we will end up finding a cute feminine looking or rocker-metalhead guy or else just give up on dating and love. Femmes who like femmes: you are not alone!!!!!
I think there are definitely more femmes that like other femmes, but I think alot of lesbians still subconsciously feel more comfortable with heteronormative gender roles- which can be frustrating. This goes also for studs or butches who may like other studs/butches.
I really needed to hear this. I felt like I was the only one.. I live in a smaller city and it’s in the south, so the ‘gay scene’ is extremely limited. Plus, when most people here find out I’m gay they usually make some version of the same comment “you just haven’t met the right guy yet”........ yeah and I never will lol bc I don’t want a guy ..
Wow this is so empowering! This really made me feel valid since I am a feminine lesbian who had and is only interested in other feminine females. And yes it's okay to have a preference. It dosn't make me judgemental or discriminatory it's simply just what I'm attracted to and I can't help that niether am I going to change it. In a heteronormative society sometimes I feel out of place since I am a really feminine lesbian and oftentimes I'm percieved as a cis-hetero woman. But I'm not of course and in a way once people find out I'm exclusively attracted to females it's shocking to them since they make the assumption that I'm straight. It's a little frustrating but then again I can't get too mad because everyone who I have come out to has only been kind and accepting. ❤️🧡🤍💜💗
You explained it very well. My dating pool is low. Because I will only dating FEM woman. Thank you so much for sharing!! Nice to know I am not alone.. it's a real struggle and you sometimes feel you just have to settled.
I’d be classed as a femme lesbian even though I’m not overly feminine. I’m not butch at all or androgynous. I only find femmes, bisexual and straight women sexually attractive. I was told that only femmes can date butches and vice versa. It’s pretty unfair to police someone’s sexuality. I also prefer older women so it’s even more difficult to find someone.
Same! Part of the reason I didn’t realise I was gay is bc as a femme I only saw people like me with butch lesbians and I’m not into it, femme/femme is valid! (Also I feel like I’ve seen you around on a few other channels so hey 👋🏼 😂)
What you said about bisexual women and dating... it’s so true. It easier for us to date men, for those exact reasons that’s you said. Btw, I’m actually kinda picky. I like feminine women only as well. And I prefer men who are masculine. I’m extremely picky with men, even more so then with women tbh. 😬 so my dating pool is very small too. Everytime I use these dating sites I feel like I get nowhere. Many people swipe right for me, but I’m just not attracted to them.
Same story with me sis ❤️ I only seem to want the Barbie types but really, lots of girls swipe on me but it’s so hard to catch a vibe from someone online tbh
I am femme woman in a relationship with another woman who'd I'd describe as femme, but before this... I honestly thought I was going to be single forever because of what you just described. It's nice not to be alone out there.
I felt like you just explained my life. Just now finding myself on this side of RUclips surprisingly & am finding out my feelings and perceptions on things are a lot more common then I realized. Very validating thank you.
I’m bi and you are so right. We do give people the blues. one-because we have so many options. Two, a lot of bisexuals from what I have seen have not given reason to trust them because they exercise those options while in a relationship and lie about it. It is okay to be attracted to multiple genders, it is NOT okay to act like a whore and be undisciplined with said options. 🤨 Case closed.
I feel you. I'm also a femme who is only attracted to femmes. And I've also had the same experience attracting and being attracting to bisexual/bicurious women. I am older and came out in 1984, in high school, and then after HS started dating (or looking to date) women but I was practically the only femme who wasn't into butch women. It was SO HARD! It's a little better now that more women are out though. I wish we would all just do something to make it clear to other femmes. We need to come up with a clue, like the whole thumb ring. But then you end up with straight women adopting that too, lol.
Aubrey I know right! Straight women admire us and adopt our trends. One thing that’s helped me is knowing how many women are bi (most bisexuals are femme from my experience). So, I just try to find bisexuals at the very least and leave it there lol
Awww Rachel you’re gorgeous and I hope you find someone who sees that. Thank you for sharing your story! I am bi and I am most attracted to femme women. I completely understand your frustration. I do think it’s something that comes from toxicity in the community. The way you present does not have anything to do with your sexuality. Personal identity and presentation is separate from sexual attraction. And yes, there is absolutely nothing wrong with you for liking what you like. You are awesome. Keep being you. You’re perfect just the way you are! 💗💗💗
That's exactly how my life has been. It's so annoying to fall for bisexuals when most just want to play around or supposedly be committed to you but still check out guys or have a screen saver with The Rock. One thing that I dislike so much is when you meet someone at a club all dressed up as a femme (dress and high heals) and when you meet somewhere else to hang out she is completely transformed into a butch/soft butch/tomboy. Or they have a feminine picture in their profile and then have a totally masculine energy when you meet them. We should create a femme for femme only group... at least for support. Lol Who's down for it???
Maybe those women whom change from being femme one day to dressing butch or tom boy the next are gender fluid ? I'm gender fluid but I'm not hard out like I like to appreciate my femininity such as make up, girly shirt and what have you but I also like to be casual and dress down to earth but still fashionable..ig like a "straight gal with an edge", type look. Quote unquote
I don't want to sound ignorant but I never understood why certain women who consider themselves lesbian only like women who look masculine. Yes, we are all women at the end of the day but I just don't get how a so called lesbian could only exclusively like women that are very masculine. I am a very high maintenance femme lesbian and I find very hard for women other than butch lesbians to show any kind of attraction towards me.
I think there is something attractive about androgyny and some women, though not attracted to the physicality of men, can be attracted to male “energy”. That’s how I’ve understood it at least. Hope that helps
Thanks for sharing your very real struggles Rachel -- your video encouraged me in mine. Stay strong, and i truly hope love finds (& totally grabs) you.
People are always going to have preferences and its amazing that you are allowing people to not be ashamed of it! It sucks when people think you're a nasty person for having an idea of what you like and what you don't find attractive.. you do you! 😘
I hate labels cause I have to choose one ... and be it, but I am more of a chapstick/stem lesbian, and it feels like I never get to attract femme/stem women, while butches and studs (who aren't my type) are always all over me. Then again...femmes seem to only like studs... it's a tricky situation!
Yes I feel you,. I consider myself as a stem and prefer fem/stem,. Its tough cuz fems be looking like straight women and most of the time I act like I'm not interested but deep down inside I am 👉🏽👈🏽
I always wondered about this. Thank you for your truth. I'm more androgynous and am attracted to femmes. But, I always thought femmes with femmes looked so good together! You should have more followers. Great discussions. xo
Great video! Very poignant and I’m sure there are many women that feel this way about the spectrum as a whole. I personally do not identify as femme but am mostly femme presenting while being attracted to femme women. It can be difficult sometimes and I’m glad that you took the time to voice your opinion. You’re not alone.
The struggle is real. I’ve been told by my lesbian friends that I needed to change the way I look (cut my hair, wear baggy clothes… etc) so that I could attract femme lesbians. Which honestly made me so insecure in my own body and destroyed myself esteem. I always find myself falling for femmes or straight women while they never reciprocate this feeling which is very disappointing.. thank you for mentioning this, it’s a forgotten issue in the gay community.
I am a bisexual feminine woman who have only experienced attraction to feminine women and masculine men (not macho lol, but not effeminate). I’m not excluding the possibility that I could be attracted to butch women for exemple, but I have yet to experience it. For the short times in my adult life that I have been single, I have definitely gathered that the femme-femme dating pool is slim, and the only woman I’ve been in a long term relationship with was another bisexual woman. I remember thinking ”come on, there must be some femme girls who like other femmes!” but they seem to be few and far between. I wonder why that is... I would have assumed it would be a 50/50 type split in preferences between femme and butch. But that doesn’t seem to be the case. Is it an opposite attracts thing? 🤔 Glad to know there are others out there who feel the same way.
Ive wondered the same thing about why isn’t it more of a 50/50 split, I also feel like femmes can be more feminine or masculine in terms of energy so you can still have two femmes who are opposites in other ways!
OMG I am like you too. I am a feminine woman who is attracted to manly men and other feminine women. Effeminate men definitely do not attract me sexually and butchy women also do not attract me though I am more open to maybe being attracted to a guyish woman sorta like Ruby Rose or Britenelle than to a womanish man. BUT yeah my preference is also more towards other femmes and towards masculine men.
It's quite common with bi femmes because they're into men, the women they tend to prefer are other femmes. They don't need a butch or adrogenous women. They got that with men.That's why the 1950s is such a theme with them as well.
Hey, I enjoyed your videos it's wholesome. Keep them coming! You bring a perspective about femme lesbians that I have not seen talked about in other vids here on RUclips. Your experiences are very relatable to mine too. It is harder to find femme lesbians as opposed to femme bisexual women. I don't know why, but they seem more common. A femme lesbian would be preferable for me to date, but I wouldn't mind dating a bisexual either as long as I know she is loyal and committed to our relationship. 3:43 - 3:59 That sounds true in a lot of cases. In my perspective, in any kind of relationship, both partners want security. This isn't gender-exclusive, but If someone (man or woman) pursued goals with a high paying career, they have a greater likelihood of having their partner stay for economic reasons. Now for a woman, if she demonstrates herself as serious, respectable, has high goals, can provide her share of stability/ security and share similar moral viewpoints with her girlfriend's family, I feel its greater likelihood it can make up for the "socially acceptable" aspect to it and her girlfriend would be more willing to stay in the long-term. Cheers!
I turned 50 this year. When I was a young woman in my early 20’s this was me. Femme’s preferring femmes was seem as a minority then, and it still is. I could literally have written this script in the 90’s. Nothing’s changed. For all the perceived ‘progress’ society and the LGBTQ community has made, that we’re still unseen and negated and neglected makes me mad.
Appreciated this video, it most people didn't understand why they find other this weird or etc.. and taking it seriously inappropriate , specially some countries - ok back to the topic.. I see some of my friends that are so femene but one day ,you'll end up knowing they really into women ... And it is hard to find at first because of appearance and attitude. 🕵️♀️
Hi, thanks for your video. This is very interesting to me. My perspective as a fem lesbian is that 90% of lesbians out there are fem for fem. When I go on dating apps, it’s nearly 100% fems that are on there. I’m out here looking for a masculine woman and I almost never get a match regardless of also being attractive and normal! This is crazy that you feel that way. It just makes me think that the lesbian dating pool is really small. I’m confused. I thought fem for fems dominated the dating scene. 😮
I feel you. Perhaps it's okay that the dating pool is smaller for you? Smaller means more specific. When it comes to true love (not just casual dating)...you really only need to find one special person in your life. It just may take time, and might mean that mainstream dating approaches will not work.
I can totally relate to this , thank you for saying that there is nothing wrong with having preferences ,people need to hear that . I have mostly been attracted to bisexuals women because of this .
Always liked fems.... being a Tom-fem forever. Yes I get the bi-woman thing, I fall into that category as well. Great topic. Being in my 40s and just starting to learn about who I really am and not trying to please a husband who is dehumanizing and emotionally unavailable. Leaving that to find the true me has been a trial. I’ll be watching more. Thanks so much!
Me me me 🙋🏽♀️, I’m femme only interested in femmes I have been looking for a topic like this my whole life. It’s soo hard to find love ❤️ in this case. I’m currently trying to get with this girl whom I know likes me the same way I do but because shes never dated a femme she’s so scared and for some reason thinks I’m gonna leave her one day for a man she claims I’m too pretty for her like I don’t get that, I’m still chasing though it’s been 3 months now chasing and still counting😅
You made this over a year ago but I feel you! I just came out at 55 and as a strong femme I also find myself attracted to other femmes so it’s tough out there!
I have dated butch lesbians before yes some are beautiful but my heart is for the power and beauty of femme women in a dress , skirt or some sweet flowy blouse.With her intoxicating perfume
I'm feeling so out of everything even as a AFAB nb; i don't feel the need to change my physiological body, but i don't even know who can be attracted to me. I prefer femme lesbians too, but i still feel a lot of pressure about "not being a pure lesbian" (because again of me not identifying on the spectrum). At the same time, i also found myself very flexible if the person is a charming and kind one: sometimes we can surprise ourselves.
this video is so validating. i'm a bi femme and i'm only attracted to femmes. i feel like we're alienated a lot because people see us as having privilege (we do). i've also seen a lot of discourse around spaces geared mostly to femmes (skirt club specifically) as being phobic which i find to be really inaccurate. i'm not phobic for liking femme women.
I feel you. I’d say I’m a femme, though I’m not a girly girl. The only butch I’ve had a crush on is Tegan from Tegan and Sara. Typically I find myself more drawn to feminine women.
As a gay man, I would love your input on why you think this is the case. Because in the gay community it is quite the opposite. Most gay men want to date ''manly'' men. Of course their are acceptions. But you find a more masculine appearance is more desired. Where as you said in your video I find a lot of lesbian couples are more heteronormative looking, at least in first appearance.
I like feminine women and am feminine myself. But I like women on a larger scale. I’m not into women where I have to look down to confirm they’re a woman because they have boobs. So, my taste ends there. The women that I find myself dating are like “Iggy Thredgood” from Fried Green Tomatoes 🍅. But I like the Ruths of the world out there too. Just never been with anyone more feminine than myself. And I’m like a soft femme.
So true. I haven't had gf for so many years because in Europe, feminine girls are not popular at all. All potential girls that were interested in me were either masculine or just did not care at all about their appearance, which I found as turn off
It took a while for me to figure out but i like feminine qualities in women, i find it attractive. At first its kind of confusing bc i'm not a tomboy and just to what extent i like femininity, but i guess what attracts me the most is the feminine look and not so much in the attitiude
Am I the only woman here who is attracted to both but ALSO finds themself In a situation where you realize your attraction has more to do with someone’s soul than their genitalia?!
I think I'd be Kind of a chapstick. I like make up and feminine clothes but also "business woman" kinda social clothes. But I do feel the same way about that. I overall feel attracted to femmes as well and I can relate SoOoooo much to the bi girls thing. That's been my whole romantic experience so far.
The thing is i like Femmes,but im not one or am i a butch😆im some what in between,im not too feminine or too masculine,but still people pass me off as "straight",all the girls i happen to like are super feminine&i never know if they are gay bisexual etc,currently i have a crush on this girl who is super feminine,i think she likes me but sometime idk,life sucks right now😅
Same here. Here in Philippines, I noticed so many butch have girlfriends while I(bisexual) with girl earings, puts on lipbalms, wears normal girl clothes sometimes skirt and off shoulders, I never really got a girl and im 28 years old already. I think its easier for butch to find a gf because women already knows they are gay so they show hint immediately if they like them while as a fem looking person, girls around just see me as friend or coworker. I tried so many dating apps, but the women there barely chats me. If there is of lgbt origin, it would be a butch who would message. 😭
I don’t know if you’re still doing videos, but just saw this one of 3yrs ago!! Still attracted to femme women?? I’m a butch & I’m on the Lesbian Pride site & there seems to be quite a lot of femmes on the site that only are attracted to other femmes!! Just thought you’d like to know & maybe you already know about the site!!🤷🏻 Hoping it would be helpful to you!! Good Luck Rachael!! 😊🌈✌️🌈🌈
I like androgynous and femmes, I like studs too but not attracted physically or into being in relationships with them, more so they seem really cool to be friends with..
I actually wanted to RUclips fem on fem relationships to see if its even valid, and its kinda upsetting to see how little vids there are about it, and how no one really talks abut it. I also haven't come out, I'm still young 14 but that doesn't change the fact I know I'm gay, recently I was questioning it though because i always see gay relationships with masc on fem and I just feel like... no I don't want that. So i started wondering maybe I am masc..? Then again maybe I am strong and into sports but that doesn't make me masc, i still perfer fem dress styles, and I have that fem soft personality side not masc confidence and protectiveness. Its hard to find any fems that like fems, my fem lesbain friends all are into masc and even if I am lucky enough to find that 1 out of 20 girl theres still a lot that can go wrong. I do still have a lot of life ahead of me I still believe I'll find the one. i just hope it can become more general eventually. I've also noticed that fem girls that feel attracted t fems, usually are more likely to suck it up and end up marrying a guy because its easier where as masc struggles to hide that attraction. Also because fem on fem isn't spoken about not a lot of women learn about it to realize it is a possiblity they fall in this category.
Okay so I haven't exactly dated but I have had experiences where I have been into someone (which so far has been 2 women). I'd say both are bi sexual femme ish with some tom boy characteristics, and the last encounter I had she was 42 as I have mentioned before, and shes only ever dated men!! I do feel it's easier for her to date men like u mentioned how she prolly has cognitive dissonance due to being old fashioned. I also feel I were given a lot of mixed signals from her in a sense where shed be giving me all these flirty signs but not follow through with anything and in fact GHOST me again UGH. Also 2 years ago she said she wnates to cut back with communication and hanging out due to her health and extra work stress, then when we reconnected 4 months ago for the first time in 2 years she told me the reasons why she cut back but also included the FACT she had a partner!! I was thinking wtf!! We werent even dating and I felt like she lead me on as well as hide this from me (for whatever reason). :(
Just because a lesbian likes femmes doesn't mean they are necessarily attracted to you! I like women with a nice smile and a bit bohemian-looking, but that doesn't mean I'm attracted to all women that are like that.
I am also bi and only attracted to very femme females. Like very femme. Beautiful, perfect bodies, the whole shebang. I’ve felt that way since I was a kid. Since I’ve always had crushes on men predominantly, if I wanted someone masculine I would date a man. I guess you could say I’m attracted to masculine men and feminine women, but I always presumed that was because I wasn’t a lesbian, only partially so.
Recently, I am rediscovering my femininity and inner/outer femme lesbian. I now see, that I was tired of queering the space through my body to be perceived as being political and being accepted. There is so much PrESsuRe of queerness mixed with neoliberalism to be unique, different, confusing or creative.. anyone with similar feelings? xx
I call it wokeness. To be fully integrated you have to be on boarded with the woke. Being aesthetically “different” probably onboards you faster. I’m not woke and I actually quite despise wokeness so I really can’t say what they do or who they profess to be or why someone can’t accept traditional femininity.
@@rachelgeraci Exactly! I guess that's why we have such a hard time finding partners or love because everyone is so focused on themselves + despises anything "normal" or "stable" and thus favor polyamory, non-monogamy and really won't form close relationships anymore.. Well, I'm still glad you and others think and feel the same, thanks for sharing these topics on your channel :)
I'm also a fem who only like likes fems. It's so hard.
Me too...
ME TOO
Me too I went on a date with a butch yesterday and I felt very uncomfortable because she pressured me to hold hands with her, flirted with me even though I already told her that I'm not ready for a relationship...also I don't like her appearance and she's very dirty (she didn't even wash her hands after going to the bathroom)
@@KimFebriany maybe she’s just a dirty person with no manners. And they can come in butch, femme etc
@@jojoco9840 yes yes it's not because she's butch that she's dirty...it's just her personality
Femme that prefers Femme. You are not alone.
I'm a lip gloss wearing femme lesbian. I only like women who look like women and not men. I never meet other femmes who only date femmes. Honestly most of the girls I find myself attracted to are straight or bisexual. Thanks for making this content, I feel so alone in my attractions.
I literally could have written everything you wrote 😩 girl same 💗💗
Same. I’ve even tried using dating apps, which is definitely not my cup of tea, but the vast majority of the women there don’t really resemble an actual woman, so I ended up deleting them. I’ve given up on trying to find someone a long time ago. If they happen to unexpectedly pop into my life, then great. If not, oh well, c'est la vie.
sameeee
im bi but felt this on a new level, only attracted to fem women and masculine men 🗿
@@hazz999This is me exactly! I’m bisexual and only like girly girls like myself and masculine men. I do find butch women to be attractive from time to time but I really like feminine women more.
Wow, this has helped so much. I never realized why I’ve had such a hard time dating but now realize it’s because I’m a bi femme who has so far only been attracted to femmes. It’s very frustrating.
I’m femme and have only ever been attracted to bi femmes! 😂💗
fr same for me only love fems bi or lesbian like :(
Same. And yes super frustrating.
Same here! So much frustration...
How do we find other femme women? 😩 lol I’m a bi femme
In Korea, Fem to Fem is the most popular combination ㅋㅋ Come to Korea
I WANNA LIVE THERE SO BAD
😭😭😭💔💔💔💔
It seems like it's so easy to be femme without getting the "You look hetero" comment :'(
Do Korean girls love European girls? I’ve heard a myth that they don’t
IM COMINGGGG
OMG I'M COMING LMAO I'm an androgynous femme more on the feminine side. My ethnicity is Chinese but I'm currently living in Indonesia.
@@KimFebriany omg bestie. I live in indonesia too and i love androgynous femme
I totally get you. Dating is hard for people like us.
I'm a femme who only likes femmes. Surprised to see that femmes can be unliked by other lesbians. Seems so natural.
Hey there! I don’t think it’s that femmes are unloved, just by other femmes mostly haha
@@rachelgeraci I'm a lesbian as well, although I think I may have seen somewhere in your videos that you may actually be a bisexual woman with much higher romantic interest in women. That's besides the point though. I don't think the issue is that femmes are "unloved" by other femmes. I think most femmes are actually more into femmes than into butches. But there may be 2 factors at play here:
1. Many femmes are actually bisexual women and even if they declare themselves to be lesbians, subconsciously they are still looking for that man-woman dynamic probably because they're already used to it. The majority have dated men before they started dating women. Butches are just better at playing into that; often times they mimic male behavior, including the bad stuff. So it's more about a vibe than anything else.
2. This applies to femme lesbians, but it's very close to what happens in case 1. Although they are lesbians, many femmes still have too many feminine traits to balance those of other lesbian femmes. When they are both femmes and roughly young, they tend to be shy, undecisive, scared, they may not even know how to have sex with a woman or initiate some sexual encounter. They may even think that you're not into them because they can't read very well those female subtle gestures that show they like you romantically and sexually.
I would suggest the reason most femme lesbians/bisexuals end up with butches is because butch lesbians are more direct and insistent when dating. They will try to seduce the girl, they express their sexual interest more directly, and they take charge of the dating process. I've seen it with my lesbian friends: butches do all the stereotypical male gentleman stuff such as buy flowers, open the doors, pay for the dates, drive he around, send her romantic/sexy texts/poems etc. Women just love that and it will overdrive their natural attraction, so they end up with butches even when they prefer femmes. That's my 2 cents though.
I have the same problem and I feel so alone. You are literally the first person who seems to understand. Thank you :*
I’m a femme and I’m attracted to other femmes, but dating is hard for me because a lot of the femmes I come across only like studs. 😩
I thought I was bisexual for years but many people around me have said they think I’m probably just gay. Lately I’m starting to come to my own conclusions and I’ve started to accept that I am a lesbian. I prefer femmes or even stems (to an extent) in looks and energy. And you’re right, the dating pool is so small.
I also think this is one of the reasons that I’ve felt so awkward over the years & maybe tried to hide who I am with getting with guys I wasn’t actually attracted to, because I didn’t want to feel like a predator. even though I know I’m not one, I feel this is what internalised homophobia does.
Another reason i sometimes entertain men even tho I know in my gut I’m not into it at all (even if they’re good looking and have good personalities!!) is because it is kinda lonely not receiving any attention at all from who I *want* to be getting it from.
I’ve only just started to accept myself and realise this for myself in the last few months, and finding this video is really comforting for me on my journey, so thank you 😊
So glad I could help you on your journey. I understand about faking liking men--i think we all do it. But, better to realize sooner rather than later and live with regrets.
Try being a deadbeat straight man. You get utterly NADA!!!! hA hA
Oh this has been me, for years. Yesterday was my 25th birthday and I said enough of this hideous behavior. I have accepted that I'm actually a lesbian,I just came out to my online friends. It feels so freeing.
@@akiinefaexperiencinglife congratulations. I am proud of you . 🥺❤
Hi ,,,, I want to be. Your friend
I totally get it!
Feeling your pain, sister!
Men *always* find me attractive, yet women don't. *Sigh*
Wome dont give me the time of day.
I feel like I’ve only been attracted to straight women. It’s a struggle.
I really appreciated this video. There is nothing wrong with dating preferences or sexual preferences. It doesn't matter if it is about style, personality or physical attributes. It really needs to be said more.
I deff understand and feel the same way
Femme loving Femmes
It’s hard being a black femme sometimes too because some women want me to be a stud and I’m not
I’m a femme, and I’ve been attracted to other femmes since as long as I can remember. During my teens it was confusing and frustrating. I had only one single girlfriend, and that relationship lasted less than a year. I had a MAJOR crush on a girl from my class (in high school), but she was straight. When I went to college things were a bit easier (I came out), but getting dates was still hard. Most of the girls I fell in love with were either straight or bisexual, and I mostly had one night stands.
Luckily, for over a year now, I’m in a relationship with a wonderful, beautiful, kind and sweet girl. I’m 24 now, and I hope she and I will soon be able to move in together. And after that, I really want to marry her!
So glad I saw your video. I am femme and i am attracted to other femmes. When i first became at peace for the fact I am not straight, i lived in San Francisco for awhile and i ONLY saw femmes with butches. It seemed like it was almost not a real "thing" to be a femme preferring others like herself. I saw it was rare enough that there was a special org for them called Femme 2 Femme or something like that. And when i hung out in women only spaces like the Whiptail Lizard Lounge i got the cold shoulder from almost everybody BUT trans women. THEY treated me like a human being and I'll always be grateful. Honestly I doubt many lesbians were real kind to them so I am glad I was kind to them. Nobody likes to feel unwanted. I almost began feeling the only way I can identify myself to my tribe is if I changed my fashion sense and butched it up more but i LOVE my makeup and i do NOT like wearing trousers or baggy clothes. PS I am bisexual but i think the reason so many bi women give up trying to find chicks is because if chicks do not like us much we will end up finding a cute feminine looking or rocker-metalhead guy or else just give up on dating and love. Femmes who like femmes: you are not alone!!!!!
I think there are definitely more femmes that like other femmes, but I think alot of lesbians still subconsciously feel more comfortable with heteronormative gender roles- which can be frustrating. This goes also for studs or butches who may like other studs/butches.
You’re so right!!
@@rachelgeraci @Rachel Geraci Geraci Great video
I really needed to hear this. I felt like I was the only one.. I live in a smaller city and it’s in the south, so the ‘gay scene’ is extremely limited. Plus, when most people here find out I’m gay they usually make some version of the same comment “you just haven’t met the right guy yet”........ yeah and I never will lol bc I don’t want a guy ..
Katherine Leigh Sonday feel you girl! ❤️
Wow this is so empowering! This really made me feel valid since I am a feminine lesbian who had and is only interested in other feminine females. And yes it's okay to have a preference. It dosn't make me judgemental or discriminatory it's simply just what I'm attracted to and I can't help that niether am I going to change it. In a heteronormative society sometimes I feel out of place since I am a really feminine lesbian and oftentimes I'm percieved as a cis-hetero woman. But I'm not of course and in a way once people find out I'm exclusively attracted to females it's shocking to them since they make the assumption that I'm straight. It's a little frustrating but then again I can't get too mad because everyone who I have come out to has only been kind and accepting.
❤️🧡🤍💜💗
You explained it very well. My dating pool is low. Because I will only dating FEM woman. Thank you so much for sharing!! Nice to know I am not alone.. it's a real struggle and you sometimes feel you just have to settled.
I agree, it seems near impossible to meet other femmes who like femmes!
I’d be classed as a femme lesbian even though I’m not overly feminine. I’m not butch at all or androgynous.
I only find femmes, bisexual and straight women sexually attractive. I was told that only femmes can date butches and vice versa. It’s pretty unfair to police someone’s sexuality. I also prefer older women so it’s even more difficult to find someone.
Same! Part of the reason I didn’t realise I was gay is bc as a femme I only saw people like me with butch lesbians and I’m not into it, femme/femme is valid! (Also I feel like I’ve seen you around on a few other channels so hey 👋🏼 😂)
What you said about bisexual women and dating... it’s so true. It easier for us to date men, for those exact reasons that’s you said. Btw, I’m actually kinda picky. I like feminine women only as well. And I prefer men who are masculine. I’m extremely picky with men, even more so then with women tbh. 😬 so my dating pool is very small too. Everytime I use these dating sites I feel like I get nowhere. Many people swipe right for me, but I’m just not attracted to them.
Same story with me sis ❤️ I only seem to want the Barbie types but really, lots of girls swipe on me but it’s so hard to catch a vibe from someone online tbh
I am femme woman in a relationship with another woman who'd I'd describe as femme, but before this... I honestly thought I was going to be single forever because of what you just described. It's nice not to be alone out there.
That gives me hope!
I felt like you just explained my life. Just now finding myself on this side of RUclips surprisingly & am finding out my feelings and perceptions on things are a lot more common then I realized. Very validating thank you.
I’m bi and you are so right. We do give people the blues. one-because we have so many options. Two, a lot of bisexuals from what I have seen have not given reason to trust them because they exercise those options while in a relationship and lie about it. It is okay to be attracted to multiple genders, it is NOT okay to act like a whore and be undisciplined with said options. 🤨 Case closed.
I feel you. I'm also a femme who is only attracted to femmes. And I've also had the same experience attracting and being attracting to bisexual/bicurious women. I am older and came out in 1984, in high school, and then after HS started dating (or looking to date) women but I was practically the only femme who wasn't into butch women. It was SO HARD! It's a little better now that more women are out though. I wish we would all just do something to make it clear to other femmes. We need to come up with a clue, like the whole thumb ring. But then you end up with straight women adopting that too, lol.
Aubrey I know right! Straight women admire us and adopt our trends. One thing that’s helped me is knowing how many women are bi (most bisexuals are femme from my experience). So, I just try to find bisexuals at the very least and leave it there lol
Awww Rachel you’re gorgeous and I hope you find someone who sees that. Thank you for sharing your story! I am bi and I am most attracted to femme women. I completely understand your frustration. I do think it’s something that comes from toxicity in the community. The way you present does not have anything to do with your sexuality. Personal identity and presentation is separate from sexual attraction. And yes, there is absolutely nothing wrong with you for liking what you like. You are awesome. Keep being you. You’re perfect just the way you are! 💗💗💗
That's exactly how my life has been.
It's so annoying to fall for bisexuals when most just want to play around or supposedly be committed to you but still check out guys or have a screen saver with The Rock.
One thing that I dislike so much is when you meet someone at a club all dressed up as a femme (dress and high heals) and when you meet somewhere else to hang out she is completely transformed into a butch/soft butch/tomboy. Or they have a feminine picture in their profile and then have a totally masculine energy when you meet them.
We should create a femme for femme only group... at least for support. Lol
Who's down for it???
I'd be down for a group. Why not!
totally lol
Maybe those women whom change from being femme one day to dressing butch or tom boy the next are gender fluid ? I'm gender fluid but I'm not hard out like I like to appreciate my femininity such as make up, girly shirt and what have you but I also like to be casual and dress down to earth but still fashionable..ig like a "straight gal with an edge", type look. Quote unquote
@@ambakirbey5702 Yep, and there's nothing wrong with this.
Femme who loves femme.
Whew! Nice to see a fellow Nigerian! 😃
ebbyoma Dont see it often! Hello Nigerian friend.
I'm a femme lesbian and it is great to find another femme. I would love to find someone like you. Lots of love, Kate xxxxx
I feel exactly the same way. So glad I found your channel ❤️
I'm so glad you found me!!
Being a femme who likes femmes is so challenging! It feels good to not feel so alone in this comment section 😊
Kat N I’m so glad we can form a little tribe here 😁😁
I only like femmes as well, but they also have to be at least 15 years older than me, my options are very limited :(
Ooh...I feel that!!
I don't want to sound ignorant but I never understood why certain women who consider themselves lesbian only like women who look masculine. Yes, we are all women at the end of the day but I just don't get how a so called lesbian could only exclusively like women that are very masculine. I am a very high maintenance femme lesbian and I find very hard for women other than butch lesbians to show any kind of attraction towards me.
I think there is something attractive about androgyny and some women, though not attracted to the physicality of men, can be attracted to male “energy”. That’s how I’ve understood it at least. Hope that helps
I feel ya. I'm femme and that's been my same, frustrating, disappointing, lonely experience.
Thanks for sharing your very real struggles Rachel -- your video encouraged me in mine. Stay strong, and i truly hope love finds (& totally grabs) you.
Aaron C thank you Aaron 🥺
People are always going to have preferences and its amazing that you are allowing people to not be ashamed of it! It sucks when people think you're a nasty person for having an idea of what you like and what you don't find attractive.. you do you! 😘
Exactly
I hate labels cause I have to choose one ... and be it, but I am more of a chapstick/stem lesbian, and it feels like I never get to attract femme/stem women, while butches and studs (who aren't my type) are always all over me. Then again...femmes seem to only like studs... it's a tricky situation!
Yes I feel you,. I consider myself as a stem and prefer fem/stem,. Its tough cuz fems be looking like straight women and most of the time I act like I'm not interested but deep down inside I am
👉🏽👈🏽
I always wondered about this. Thank you for your truth. I'm more androgynous and am attracted to femmes. But, I always thought femmes with femmes looked so good together! You should have more followers. Great discussions. xo
Thank you so much ❤️
Great video! Very poignant and I’m sure there are many women that feel this way about the spectrum as a whole. I personally do not identify as femme but am mostly femme presenting while being attracted to femme women. It can be difficult sometimes and I’m glad that you took the time to voice your opinion. You’re not alone.
I am a femme lesbian who is attracted to femme lesbians. Totally get it. ♥️
The struggle is real. I’ve been told by my lesbian friends that I needed to change the way I look (cut my hair, wear baggy clothes… etc) so that I could attract femme lesbians. Which honestly made me so insecure in my own body and destroyed myself esteem. I always find myself falling for femmes or straight women while they never reciprocate this feeling which is very disappointing.. thank you for mentioning this, it’s a forgotten issue in the gay community.
I am a bisexual feminine woman who have only experienced attraction to feminine women and masculine men (not macho lol, but not effeminate). I’m not excluding the possibility that I could be attracted to butch women for exemple, but I have yet to experience it. For the short times in my adult life that I have been single, I have definitely gathered that the femme-femme dating pool is slim, and the only woman I’ve been in a long term relationship with was another bisexual woman. I remember thinking ”come on, there must be some femme girls who like other femmes!” but they seem to be few and far between. I wonder why that is... I would have assumed it would be a 50/50 type split in preferences between femme and butch. But that doesn’t seem to be the case. Is it an opposite attracts thing? 🤔 Glad to know there are others out there who feel the same way.
Ive wondered the same thing about why isn’t it more of a 50/50 split, I also feel like femmes can be more feminine or masculine in terms of energy so you can still have two femmes who are opposites in other ways!
OMG I am like you too. I am a feminine woman who is attracted to manly men and other feminine women.
Effeminate men definitely do not attract me sexually and butchy women also do not attract me though I am more open to maybe being attracted to a guyish woman sorta like Ruby Rose or Britenelle than to a womanish man.
BUT yeah my preference is also more towards other femmes and towards masculine men.
Try Pink cupid 💘
So your attraction is not 50/50 but you expect other people’s attractions to be 50/50?
It's quite common with bi femmes because they're into men, the women they tend to prefer are other femmes. They don't need a butch or adrogenous women. They got that with men.That's why the 1950s is such a theme with them as well.
Hey, I enjoyed your videos it's wholesome. Keep them coming! You bring a perspective about femme lesbians that I have not seen talked about in other vids here on RUclips. Your experiences are very relatable to mine too. It is harder to find femme lesbians as opposed to femme bisexual women. I don't know why, but they seem more common. A femme lesbian would be preferable for me to date, but I wouldn't mind dating a bisexual either as long as I know she is loyal and committed to our relationship.
3:43 - 3:59 That sounds true in a lot of cases. In my perspective, in any kind of relationship, both partners want security. This isn't gender-exclusive, but If someone (man or woman) pursued goals with a high paying career, they have a greater likelihood of having their partner stay for economic reasons. Now for a woman, if she demonstrates herself as serious, respectable, has high goals, can provide her share of stability/ security and share similar moral viewpoints with her girlfriend's family, I feel its greater likelihood it can make up for the "socially acceptable" aspect to it and her girlfriend would be more willing to stay in the long-term.
Cheers!
I ion know how you feel! Because I have experience this so many times. I am completely a beautiful FEMININE Lesbian woman.
I only like femmes as well lol, it's so difficult
It’s the wooorrrst lol
I’m a femme who is MOSTLY attracted to femme women. Ohhhh my gosh you sound like me! Especially with the being single for ever!
Rachel, don't worry about any negative comments. Do as you want not what others say.
I turned 50 this year. When I was a young woman in my early 20’s this was me. Femme’s preferring femmes was seem as a minority then, and it still is. I could literally have written this script in the 90’s. Nothing’s changed. For all the perceived ‘progress’ society and the LGBTQ community has made, that we’re still unseen and negated and neglected makes me mad.
Yeeeep.
Can definitely relate. Love your straight up vibes btw!
Thank you Tilly!
From the comment section I think we are many. I mean femmes who like femmes
As a femme who only feels attracted to femmes, I understand you. Sometimes I feel like no one will ever love me.
Don’t worry, love will happen for you when you least expect it ❤️
Appreciated this video, it most people didn't understand why they find other this weird or etc.. and taking it seriously inappropriate , specially some countries - ok back to the topic.. I see some of my friends that are so femene but one day ,you'll end up knowing they really into women ... And it is hard to find at first because of appearance and attitude. 🕵️♀️
Somebody had to fucking say it! I'm so glad to hear this out loud My God. Thank you.
Hi, thanks for your video. This is very interesting to me. My perspective as a fem lesbian is that 90% of lesbians out there are fem for fem. When I go on dating apps, it’s nearly 100% fems that are on there. I’m out here looking for a masculine woman and I almost never get a match regardless of also being attractive and normal! This is crazy that you feel that way. It just makes me think that the lesbian dating pool is really small. I’m confused. I thought fem for fems dominated the dating scene. 😮
I feel you. Perhaps it's okay that the dating pool is smaller for you? Smaller means more specific. When it comes to true love (not just casual dating)...you really only need to find one special person in your life. It just may take time, and might mean that mainstream dating approaches will not work.
I can totally relate to this , thank you for saying that there is nothing wrong with having preferences ,people need to hear that . I have mostly been attracted to bisexuals women because of this .
same here I love fem women as a fem woman and had some heartbreaks because of those same problems
Hi Rachel, you videos are very meaningful. These are the type of videos I'm actually looking for. Thank you!
Mashiro101 you’re so welcome! My message here is to help and inspire. ❤️
Right, as a fem its so hard finding other fems coz there into studs. Struggle is real 😭
Always liked fems.... being a Tom-fem forever. Yes I get the bi-woman thing, I fall into that category as well. Great topic. Being in my 40s and just starting to learn about who I really am and not trying to please a husband who is dehumanizing and emotionally unavailable. Leaving that to find the true me has been a trial. I’ll be watching more. Thanks so much!
Me me me 🙋🏽♀️, I’m femme only interested in femmes I have been looking for a topic like this my whole life. It’s soo hard to find love ❤️ in this case. I’m currently trying to get with this girl whom I know likes me the same way I do but because shes never dated a femme she’s so scared and for some reason thinks I’m gonna leave her one day for a man she claims I’m too pretty for her like I don’t get that, I’m still chasing though it’s been 3 months now chasing and still counting😅
Never chase! You are worth more sis
You made this over a year ago but I feel
you! I just came out at 55 and as a strong femme I also find myself attracted to other femmes so it’s tough out there!
It certainly is!!
I have dated butch lesbians before yes some are beautiful but my heart is for the power and beauty of femme women in a dress , skirt or some sweet flowy blouse.With her intoxicating perfume
Omggg I relate so much. I am feminine and I feel attracted to other feminine women
I'm feeling so out of everything even as a AFAB nb; i don't feel the need to change my physiological body, but i don't even know who can be attracted to me. I prefer femme lesbians too, but i still feel a lot of pressure about "not being a pure lesbian" (because again of me not identifying on the spectrum).
At the same time, i also found myself very flexible if the person is a charming and kind one: sometimes we can surprise ourselves.
I thought I had an issue thanks for sharing
this video is so validating. i'm a bi femme and i'm only attracted to femmes. i feel like we're alienated a lot because people see us as having privilege (we do). i've also seen a lot of discourse around spaces geared mostly to femmes (skirt club specifically) as being phobic which i find to be really inaccurate. i'm not phobic for liking femme women.
You are totally valid and I 💯 percent hear you and feel you!!
im so glad i found this! thank you ❤
I feel you. I’d say I’m a femme, though I’m not a girly girl. The only butch I’ve had a crush on is Tegan from Tegan and Sara. Typically I find myself more drawn to feminine women.
As a gay man, I would love your input on why you think this is the case. Because in the gay community it is quite the opposite. Most gay men want to date ''manly'' men. Of course their are acceptions. But you find a more masculine appearance is more desired. Where as you said in your video I find a lot of lesbian couples are more heteronormative looking, at least in first appearance.
I have no idea haha
Hope you will find the one like i wish i will 😔
I like feminine women and am feminine myself. But I like women on a larger scale. I’m not into women where I have to look down to confirm they’re a woman because they have boobs. So, my taste ends there. The women that I find myself dating are like “Iggy Thredgood” from Fried Green Tomatoes 🍅. But I like the Ruths of the world out there too. Just never been with anyone more feminine than myself. And I’m like a soft femme.
I feel that!
I feel the same, I like femmes but I’m a soft femme so I don’t want someone more feminine than me either, maybe Soft Femme/Hard Femme? 😂
It’s definitely hard to find Femms who like other Femms.. Ugh 🤦🏾♀️ the struggle
It so is... lol
yes the struggle is soo real. femmes are life !!! but it so hard out there to date 🤷🏻♀️for some reason a lot of femmes like more masculine girls 🥺
So true. I haven't had gf for so many years because in Europe, feminine girls are not popular at all. All potential girls that were interested in me were either masculine or just did not care at all about their appearance, which I found as turn off
Love these videos and completely relate!
I'm femme and only attracted to femme married straight women 😭 you guessed it! I'm single 😅 I'm tired
It took a while for me to figure out but i like feminine qualities in women, i find it attractive. At first its kind of confusing bc i'm not a tomboy and just to what extent i like femininity, but i guess what attracts me the most is the feminine look and not so much in the attitiude
Am I the only woman here who is attracted to both but ALSO finds themself In a situation where you realize your attraction has more to do with someone’s soul than their genitalia?!
I think I'd be Kind of a chapstick. I like make up and feminine clothes but also "business woman" kinda social clothes. But I do feel the same way about that. I overall feel attracted to femmes as well and I can relate SoOoooo much to the bi girls thing. That's been my whole romantic experience so far.
The thing is i like Femmes,but im not one or am i a butch😆im some what in between,im not too feminine or too masculine,but still people pass me off as "straight",all the girls i happen to like are super feminine&i never know if they are gay bisexual etc,currently i have a crush on this girl who is super feminine,i think she likes me but sometime idk,life sucks right now😅
Same here. Here in Philippines, I noticed so many butch have girlfriends while I(bisexual) with girl earings, puts on lipbalms, wears normal girl clothes sometimes skirt and off shoulders, I never really got a girl and im 28 years old already. I think its easier for butch to find a gf because women already knows they are gay so they show hint immediately if they like them while as a fem looking person, girls around just see me as friend or coworker. I tried so many dating apps, but the women there barely chats me. If there is of lgbt origin, it would be a butch who would message. 😭
I don’t know if you’re still doing videos, but just saw this one of 3yrs ago!!
Still attracted to femme women??
I’m a butch & I’m on the Lesbian Pride site & there seems to be quite a lot of femmes on the site that only are attracted to other femmes!!
Just thought you’d like to know & maybe you already know about the site!!🤷🏻
Hoping it would be helpful to you!!
Good Luck Rachael!!
😊🌈✌️🌈🌈
Saw you mentioning manifestation. Would love to hear you talk about this.
LoveToday8 hey there! I would love to talk about manifestation, unfortunately, I am no master manifester by a mile! Haha
I'm a fem cis gender. Female I was with alot of fem during my life some were bi I'm bi
I like androgynous and femmes, I like studs too but not attracted physically or into being in relationships with them, more so they seem really cool to be friends with..
Femme for Femme forever
I actually wanted to RUclips fem on fem relationships to see if its even valid, and its kinda upsetting to see how little vids there are about it, and how no one really talks abut it. I also haven't come out, I'm still young 14 but that doesn't change the fact I know I'm gay, recently I was questioning it though because i always see gay relationships with masc on fem and I just feel like... no I don't want that. So i started wondering maybe I am masc..? Then again maybe I am strong and into sports but that doesn't make me masc, i still perfer fem dress styles, and I have that fem soft personality side not masc confidence and protectiveness. Its hard to find any fems that like fems, my fem lesbain friends all are into masc and even if I am lucky enough to find that 1 out of 20 girl theres still a lot that can go wrong. I do still have a lot of life ahead of me I still believe I'll find the one. i just hope it can become more general eventually. I've also noticed that fem girls that feel attracted t fems, usually are more likely to suck it up and end up marrying a guy because its easier where as masc struggles to hide that attraction. Also because fem on fem isn't spoken about not a lot of women learn about it to realize it is a possiblity they fall in this category.
good to you
I agree with u I am a masculine ga* who like other masculine men, sometimes i feel lonely because of this
My sexual preference is something I cannot even describe because I find myself in a situation where I can’t pick
Okay so I haven't exactly dated but I have had experiences where I have been into someone (which so far has been 2 women). I'd say both are bi sexual femme ish with some tom boy characteristics, and the last encounter I had she was 42 as I have mentioned before, and shes only ever dated men!! I do feel it's easier for her to date men like u mentioned how she prolly has cognitive dissonance due to being old fashioned. I also feel I were given a lot of mixed signals from her in a sense where shed be giving me all these flirty signs but not follow through with anything and in fact GHOST me again UGH.
Also 2 years ago she said she wnates to cut back with communication and hanging out due to her health and extra work stress, then when we reconnected 4 months ago for the first time in 2 years she told me the reasons why she cut back but also included the FACT she had a partner!! I was thinking wtf!! We werent even dating and I felt like she lead me on as well as hide this from me (for whatever reason). :(
Just because a lesbian likes femmes doesn't mean they are necessarily attracted to you! I like women with a nice smile and a bit bohemian-looking, but that doesn't mean I'm attracted to all women that are like that.
Thank you for this!! 💗💖💗
Wonderful point!
I am femme too
I like beautiful things and beautiful woman and men
I am also bi and only attracted to very femme females. Like very femme. Beautiful, perfect bodies, the whole shebang. I’ve felt that way since I was a kid. Since I’ve always had crushes on men predominantly, if I wanted someone masculine I would date a man. I guess you could say I’m attracted to masculine men and feminine women, but I always presumed that was because I wasn’t a lesbian, only partially so.
Felt that
Recently, I am rediscovering my femininity and inner/outer femme lesbian. I now see, that I was tired of queering the space through my body to be perceived as being political and being accepted. There is so much PrESsuRe of queerness mixed with neoliberalism to be unique, different, confusing or creative.. anyone with similar feelings? xx
I call it wokeness. To be fully integrated you have to be on boarded with the woke. Being aesthetically “different” probably onboards you faster. I’m not woke and I actually quite despise wokeness so I really can’t say what they do or who they profess to be or why someone can’t accept traditional femininity.
@@rachelgeraci Exactly! I guess that's why we have such a hard time finding partners or love because everyone is so focused on themselves + despises anything "normal" or "stable" and thus favor polyamory, non-monogamy and really won't form close relationships anymore.. Well, I'm still glad you and others think and feel the same, thanks for sharing these topics on your channel :)
this is so deep true!