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@Jorge Gutierrez It was limited to the nobility class, u dont see that kind of development elesewhere because the mongols tended to eradicate the ruling class(well not just the ruling class ) where ever they went , russia is a rare exception.
@@ChevyChase301 Mongols only assimilated some Turkic, Khitanic and Tungusic tribes in the time of Khamag Khanate and Genghis Khan, they assimilated nobody after that. On the contrary, they began to assimilate themselves. They became Turkic and Sinitic.
Naah, most of the wars were about money (as every war) and soldiers were usually paid since roman times. At least they kinda banned slavery (unless you have defferent religion :D
@@krystofcisar469 Uh serfs literally is supposed to be the tools of a noble. So technically slavery not only didn’t disappear, it changed a name and is almost everywhere that has farmers. Edit: just realized how nerdy I must have sounded lol
And with all that, you get it wrong anyway, serfs had some rights, specifically about the land they worked and how they should be treated, and slaves didn't have that, even more, in some parts of Europe and the middle east there were a basic class of freeman that get even more rights and fight against nobility to don't lose said rights
@@josesoria2072 My fault, people like to focus on the worst possible cases and unconsciously think that it happens in almost everywhere. The worst feudalist nations were probably HRE or Russian Tsar and that was what I had in mind when hearing the word “serfs” and “feudalism”😅
@@refuze2quit603 Heavily depends on the period. Serfdom wasn't so widespread and strictly instituted in Russia until early 18th century during the reign of Peter the Great (ironically, also banning slavery and converting all ex-slaves into serfs).
The funny thing is that the part about the pope isn’t even an exaggeration. In fact, if anything it’s underselling all the shenanigans that happened with the papacy during the medieval ages
@@Deepak_Dhakad may I recommended to you the video by Kraut about the difference between Chinese and Indian empires if yoy want to know more about why Indian Empires didn't last for very long, it's very well made
@@Deepak_Dhakad well, Rome was founded in 753 BC, and It Always expanded till 117 ad, the western empire fell in 476 but the estern part lasted till 1453, It Is a lot of time for such a big empire
@@magswitch8985 Well the devs have to nerf them in one way or another. Shame they stopped monitoring the game or else the Gunpowder Exploit would never happen and the European servers (Mostly the Western Europe Server) wouldn't have taken over nearly the entire game.
Old Frankish history be like: - King Chlothar marries Ingund and has a son named Sigebert - Ingund asks Chlothar for help finding a husband for her sister, Aregund. Chlothar decides that he shall be that husband - Aregund gives birth to a son named Chilpheric - they are brothers and cousins at the same time - Chlothar dies and the sons/nephews each get a Frankish land to rule: Sigebert gets Austrasia and Chilpheric gets Neustria - Fredegund, a servant to Audovera, the wife of Chilpheric, seduces Chilpheric and convinces him to dump Audovera and lock her in a covenant - Sigebert marries the Visigoth princess Brunhilda, who is super rich - Chilpheric says “good idea” and marries Brunhilda’s sister, Galswintha - he loves her (for her dowry) and promises to give up all his mistresses (fails) - Fredegund convinces Chilpheric to murder Galswintha and marry her instead - Galswintha found strangled to death and Chilpheric “subtly” remarried right away - Fredegund successfully gaslit gatekept girlbossed her way into being queen - Brunhilda is reasonably pissed about her sister being murdered and convinces Sigebert to declare war against Chilpheric - 40 years long feud commences between Neustria and Austrasia - Sigebert dies and Brunhilda remarries Merovech, a son of Audovera and Chilpheric, who is technically her step-nephew - Fredegund assassinates Audovera and all of Chilpheric’s kids that are not her own, and whoever else stands in her way - later, Chilpheric is also assassinated by Fredegund during a hunting trip, and she convinces nobles to let their son, Chlothar II, take the throne - she also at one point almost killed her own daughter, Rigund, after a petty argument - Fredegund dies of natural causes after f*cking everybody’s sh*t up for 40+ years - Chlothar II ends the war, captures 70 yo Brunhilda and brutally executes her - Chlothar II marries Haldetrude and has a son named Dagobert - some time later, Chlothar II remarries Sichilde and has a son named Charibert - Sichilde’s sister, Gomentrude, is married for a while with Dagobert, her step-nephew - they are brothers and uncle/nephew at the same time. Chlothar II’s son is also his brother-in-law - Chlothar II dies, Dagobert and Charibert each getting a part of the Frankish kingdom to rule - ah sh*t here we go again
@@takebacktheholyland9306 the fuck? Nah China for 90% of its history was playing on easy mode. Amazing geography, fertile land, no dangerous neighbors (besides the occasional nomads and Japanese pirates) and tons of natural resources.
@@dustin3294 I can literally list you every civil war and warring period of china and the numbers included would dwarf literally every byzantine conflict For reference, the taiping rebellion which took place before ww1 had a death toll higher than ww2 and that's just a SINGLE rebellion
@علي يا سر Nah sorry I made a reference so obscure it was a bad joke. A prehistoric city now called Spiro Mounds in Oklahoma has the only evidence of any contact between the Eastern United States and Mesoamerica, because obsidian from Mesoamerica was found there in excavations.
Old British History Be Like: >Britons exist completely oblivious to the outside world >65 AD, Romans come and absolutely wreck the mud-dwelling peasants >Force Roman beliefs on them, everyone's speaking a weird Latin/British combo >Roman Britons now slightly upset about this >450 AD, Saxons and Anglos come and do the same >Everyone's speaking an Anglo-Saxon/Latin/British combo >The new Anglo-Roman Britons are moderately annoyed >793 AD, Vikings come and do the same >Everyone's speaking a Norse-Anglo-Latin-British combo >The new Norse-Roman Anglo-Saxon Britons are not happy about this at all >1066 AD, Normans come and do the same >Language is changed to French for centuries >The new Norse-Roman Norman Anglo-Saxon Britons are very angry and decide they want revenge >1500 AD, the British Empire begins to form, 400 million people are Subjects of the Crown >Everyone dislikes this
@@ieatmice751 yes but also probably middling merchants as well, anyone who is worth a dime spoke French in the same way as during the past eras, after allnot everybody spoke Norse nor Saxon
@علي يا سر bruh they did actually take baths in atleast the rivers they settled near to. Only certain priests who renounced worldy pleasures don't bathe.
@علي يا سر Before 1500, europeans used to bathe often and were pretty clean. So no, they were not dirtier than China, Arabia or Rome except in 1500-1800
@@andreikovacs3476 depends. Iberia, italy and the balkans were well known to bathe with only other european populations catching up a few centuries later. Eastern and northern europe bathing wasn't that widespread.
@@adolfhipsteryolocaust3443 In contrast, because they have little water, most of them live in the city where usually a large source of water or centralized water management exist. Maybe what you say ia true for Bedouin though (the nomadic tribes)
Ottoman History be like: >Sultan Osbey gains power and land from centuries of nomadic warfare >He abandons nomadic lifestyle for ??? Reason. he decides to set up inside castles instead >newly conquered castles have beautiful foreign women, he no longer cares for Turkish women >this insatiable desire leads the Sultan to the Balkans, Russia, and anywhere but east. >Sultan Osbey has 28 sons with a harem of foreign women >Sultan Osbey dies >His son, Prince Furkan is now the Sultan >Random Pasha doesn’t like Furkan, convinces 27 brothers to start massive civil war >massive civil war >Prince Osbey II wins the war, kills all brothers, vows not have so many children from different wives >Has 30 sons from even more wives >war >Repeat for 500 years >After 500 years, the Royal Family has no Turkic genes anymore >Sultan Aptal wants to be a nomadic warrior again >Decisive defeat >Empire loses all lands
I don't even think the that even Osman I had any Turkic genes, they were already heavily mixed with Persians and middle easterners in general when they reached Anatolia.
@@Letnistonwandif Then you don't know history at all. Because Osman I himself was a Central Asian Turk directly from Turkmenistan Merv. Whose ancestors run away from Mongol invasion.
The mothers of many Ottoman rulers were women from other Turkish beyliks. However, they had to leave because continuing this would drag the state into civil war and they married white slaves.
@@owenhardy7035 Ancient Chinese Dynasty suffered million of Casualties from civil war and the biggest civil war was Taiping Rebellion and yet the Qing Dynasty can still survived
@@owenhardy7035 the end of Qing Dynasty,I mean tho,rebellion was a part of ancient Chinese history.Chinese history without rebellion is just eating rice with fork lol
We greatly underestimate the cleanliness of Medieval peoples. Welsh brushed their teeth so much, they were said to shine like ivory. Saints would choose to be dirty and sleep in bug infested beds to be unlike their peers.
That chinese army thing isn’t even medieval slander more like ancient i still remember reading how a qin army of 1.2 million defeated a zhao army and captured 750k then had them dig their own grave buried alive...and this wasn’t even a major battle.
@@Deepak_Dhakad The system used for military back then in China had a professional farmer-levy system, where every (rice) farmer is cycle drafted for military training and public construction works in the months where they are not farming. It means that when there is a war, basically everyone has enough military training in place to just be drafted and sent straight to war, resulting in massive army consisting of literally every adult male in a province. Which *is*, as you say, unsustainable, and most of these wars end up causing even more death from famine than war casualties because the farmers are off to war and not farming their farm.
I was always curious what would have happened if China, rather than fighting among itself for literally forever, decided to conquer other nations instead.
It was already a big empire from conquering in ancient time. Running at any larger capacity could be difficult from central court. Also mainly due to their tributary system, they didnt really want to grab more land but rather vassals, who enjoy great autonomy.
@@Trgn their issue was even though amazing inventions were invented many went ignored since different states would not care for a particular invention from another state.
@@dennisbergkamp1553 yeah, but if you put the different cultures of the Middle Ages in a video, then I felt like the mongols should have been there… personnal opinion of course.
In those times the only thing you’d like to see less as a peasant than an enemy army would be your own, since both will take everything you own but one is around for more
Alot of people don't know this but the Byzantine was actually very advanced with laser weapons, space suit, the whole bit. But it was all destroyed in the Civil wars and the Ottoman invasion.
As a Vietnamese I can attest to that, that the smallest Chinese army must have at least ten thousand men, the average standard army is about two hundred thousand men.
Even our small and poor nation Like "Dai Viet" back in the ancient time, we field the army with 30k, 100k were considered normal. Imagine millions time richer and powerful country like China.
That's not true, in fact by the 15th century the Europeans were in many aspects much more advanced than the middle eastern/east societies. So I think the ottomans were behind in many aspects compared to Europeans.
Byzantine History >Basileus Michael Papadamonapalos XIX dies of pneumonia >Empire collapses into its third civil war of the month >Bulgars, Slavs, Normans, Turks, Arabs, and Persians invade >General Constantine Kaladomonopos defeats all other factions and invaders >Declares himself Basileus >Dies from a small cut on finger becoming infected three weeks later >Repeat
@Hamza Alkayyali but like. Not even exaggerations, just untruths yknow. Also kinda outdated stereotypes aswell, some of this stuff has been outta favour since the 90s.
@@EtanoS24 you said "this was medieval europe slander" but it didnt only focus on europe lol, if the creator wanted to they could also add africa but lets be honest you and i wouldnt watch that now would we ?
@@handhand212 Sure. They didn't focus only on Europe. But the only other places they focused on were China and the Middle East. And they said "china has been armies" and "middle east golden age so amazing". How exactly are either of those "slander"?
Medieval Indian History be like: A Muslim Warlord descended from nomads invades India from his military bases in Greater Iran and Central Asia and gets attacked by his worst enemies: local Muslim rulers already there who then team up with local Hindu rulers to launch a counterattack. He defeats them easily and then goes on a rampage. He briefly raids South India and destroys a major city and destabilizing a kingdom or small empire, but then angers all the neighboring kingdoms who all push him out. He then attempts another campaign to the South, but then gets absolutely vibe-checked in the Lower Deccan by a coalition of local Hindu and Muslim rulers who, unlike the first group in the North, are actually a formidable force. The Warlord gets killed, his army scattered, and his gains lost. Immediately after that, his empire shatters into tiny rival chiefdoms, and the areas of the South and East once under his control break free and either reinstate the previous government and rulers or form new chiefdoms as well. These chiefdoms then become fully-blown empires after 5 days which have control all the way up to Bengal in the east and Gujarat in the west. Sindh gets invaded again from the west, but nobody cares, because it's Sindh, and Sindh always gets invaded.
@@ieatmice751 he is a secular iranian who don't even live in iran and hates the islamic iran and makes alot of biased videos about islamic history but when he finally makes an unbiased one people like you start crying
1:00 yeah....thats just tian4nanm3n palace.... A troop of 1k is...small. 10k is more like quick strike troops. 100k+ is for prolonged military campaign.
Chinese History be like: > Duke Lugowo of Shu is pissed by the Emperor Mu by it's rule. > Mandate of Heaven. > Civil War between Prefectures and Regions. Aftermath: - Decisive Tang Victory. - 245 Million Killed.
I know this will seem like an "aksually" comment but I have to say half of these here were more or less generalisations or mostly stereotypical thoughts that people after the Middle ages had for their ancestors, especially during the Enlightenment and Victorian Era. A combination of believing that everything and everyone before them was dumb, stupid and primitive and a small amount of superioty complex. Of course even during these times not many people thought like that of the Medieval Era, so let's not also generalise the Early/Late modern periods too.
Funny how during the Middle Ages, it was Asia that prospered and not Europe. Then a few centuries later and Europe prospered but not Asia. So eventually the power is gonna shift back to Asia again.
It pretty much already is shifting to East Asia specifically. China, Japan, Korea, Singapore , etc. Are already quite powerful, developed and are leading the world in many fields, while Indonesia, India and the Gulf states in Middle East are going to join them in the foreseeable future.
@@scarymonster5541 the Europeans didn’t do it because of their succession laws. However in the Islamic world princes would basically kill each other if they couldn’t come to an agreement. I also said strangle because even if you were killing them you couldn’t spill the blood of royals
![COLOMBIA vs. CHILE [4-0] | RESUMEN | ELIMINATORIAS SUDAMERICANAS | FECHA 10](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/TDjN4W3yy1k/mqdefault.jpg)
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How is this comment 8 hours old?
Lol, those Muslim tech are actually Roman tech that they stole and made their own. Your muslim golden age is a lie, lmao.
Golden Horde trying to not ransack some city in Eastern Europe (Impossible Challenge)
Mongols trying to not to assimilate into their conquered people
“what do you mean we can tax them more if we convert?”
@@ChevyChase301 They didn't assimilate in eastern Europe tho, in fact it was the Russians who were becoming more like the mongols.
@Jorge Gutierrez
It was limited to the nobility class, u dont see that kind of development elesewhere because the mongols tended to eradicate the ruling class(well not just the ruling class ) where ever they went , russia is a rare exception.
@@ChevyChase301 Mongols only assimilated some Turkic, Khitanic and Tungusic tribes in the time of Khamag Khanate and Genghis Khan, they assimilated nobody after that. On the contrary, they began to assimilate themselves. They became Turkic and Sinitic.
Tamerlane trying to not sack half of the islamic world
Imagine farmer with a Pitchfork going to the next war just because your lord said something nasty over a letter to the neightbors daughter.
Naah, most of the wars were about money (as every war) and soldiers were usually paid since roman times. At least they kinda banned slavery (unless you have defferent religion :D
@@krystofcisar469 Uh serfs literally is supposed to be the tools of a noble. So technically slavery not only didn’t disappear, it changed a name and is almost everywhere that has farmers.
Edit: just realized how nerdy I must have sounded lol
And with all that, you get it wrong anyway, serfs had some rights, specifically about the land they worked and how they should be treated, and slaves didn't have that, even more, in some parts of Europe and the middle east there were a basic class of freeman that get even more rights and fight against nobility to don't lose said rights
@@josesoria2072 My fault, people like to focus on the worst possible cases and unconsciously think that it happens in almost everywhere. The worst feudalist nations were probably HRE or Russian Tsar and that was what I had in mind when hearing the word “serfs” and “feudalism”😅
@@refuze2quit603
Heavily depends on the period. Serfdom wasn't so widespread and strictly instituted in Russia until early 18th century during the reign of Peter the Great (ironically, also banning slavery and converting all ex-slaves into serfs).
You are missed "Biggest army in Europe" with 10 armored knights and 500 militia, lol
Meanwhile in China and India: Small conflict lasting 3 months, 2 million casualties. ???? WTF?????
@@ilusier1284 people yum yum
In battle of Grunwald was fighting something about 50k people
@@ArtogTV yeah, that's my point - battle of grunwald was one of the biggest battles in medieval europe and yet on chinese scales it was nothing
@@МаксимПономарев-х3ф of course. In comparison to Chinese is absolute true
The funny thing is that the part about the pope isn’t even an exaggeration. In fact, if anything it’s underselling all the shenanigans that happened with the papacy during the medieval ages
Well in a millennia I’d expect some shenanigans to happen
POPE FIGHTS!
Ik it's in the renaissance and not the medieval ages but *cough* pope alexander vi *cough*
@@claudiu-mihaipuiu1221 I see you are a man of culture as well.
@@mr.picklethanos7340 renaissance still Middle Ages
I love how you can name a million ways why the Romans collapsed and about half that list is just themselves lol
The only real question is how they managed to last so long without collapsing, that's very rare for such large empires
@@Deepak_Dhakad that is quite long by european standards
@@Deepak_Dhakad may I recommended to you the video by Kraut about the difference between Chinese and Indian empires if yoy want to know more about why Indian Empires didn't last for very long, it's very well made
@@Deepak_Dhakad well, Rome was founded in 753 BC, and It Always expanded till 117 ad, the western empire fell in 476 but the estern part lasted till 1453, It Is a lot of time for such a big empire
@@Deepak_Dhakad They literally fell in the freaking 15th century. No, the Eastern Roman Empire isn't the Byzantine Empire, they are Romans.
“War crimes”? You mean trolling the peasantry?
Or better. Getting your fair payment
je dirais même apporté la civilisation au barbare
@@vavadadeur150 whataboutism lil frenchie ?
Why wait for your lord to pay when you can rob those peasants. 🗿
@@kenzo5096 vin omette champagne baguette
The fact that the average Chinese army was larger than entire European alliances really is something
people underestimate how large china is. the average prefecture in china is easily the size of many euopean nations.
@@nvmtt too bad they kept having a battle royale every 20-500 years
You're here dawwggggg 😭😭😭
@@magswitch8985 Well the devs have to nerf them in one way or another. Shame they stopped monitoring the game or else the Gunpowder Exploit would never happen and the European servers (Mostly the Western Europe Server) wouldn't have taken over nearly the entire game.
@@magswitch8985 more like 2-15 years,lol
Mongolia:
Speedrun
Also Mongolia when an island bum tricked them to usurp a kingdom for booze
@@thestudentofficial5483 What two nukes does to a mf
speemdrum
@@thestudentofficial5483 Majapahit Time
Rise and fall of an empire any% speedrun (inflation and tribal succession glitch)
Old Frankish history be like:
- King Chlothar marries Ingund and has a son named Sigebert
- Ingund asks Chlothar for help finding a husband for her sister, Aregund. Chlothar decides that he shall be that husband
- Aregund gives birth to a son named Chilpheric
- they are brothers and cousins at the same time
- Chlothar dies and the sons/nephews each get a Frankish land to rule: Sigebert gets Austrasia and Chilpheric gets Neustria
- Fredegund, a servant to Audovera, the wife of Chilpheric, seduces Chilpheric and convinces him to dump Audovera and lock her in a covenant
- Sigebert marries the Visigoth princess Brunhilda, who is super rich
- Chilpheric says “good idea” and marries Brunhilda’s sister, Galswintha
- he loves her (for her dowry) and promises to give up all his mistresses (fails)
- Fredegund convinces Chilpheric to murder Galswintha and marry her instead
- Galswintha found strangled to death and Chilpheric “subtly” remarried right away
- Fredegund successfully gaslit gatekept girlbossed her way into being queen
- Brunhilda is reasonably pissed about her sister being murdered and convinces Sigebert to declare war against Chilpheric
- 40 years long feud commences between Neustria and Austrasia
- Sigebert dies and Brunhilda remarries Merovech, a son of Audovera and Chilpheric, who is technically her step-nephew
- Fredegund assassinates Audovera and all of Chilpheric’s kids that are not her own, and whoever else stands in her way
- later, Chilpheric is also assassinated by Fredegund during a hunting trip, and she convinces nobles to let their son, Chlothar II, take the throne
- she also at one point almost killed her own daughter, Rigund, after a petty argument
- Fredegund dies of natural causes after f*cking everybody’s sh*t up for 40+ years
- Chlothar II ends the war, captures 70 yo Brunhilda and brutally executes her
- Chlothar II marries Haldetrude and has a son named Dagobert
- some time later, Chlothar II remarries Sichilde and has a son named Charibert
- Sichilde’s sister, Gomentrude, is married for a while with Dagobert, her step-nephew
- they are brothers and uncle/nephew at the same time. Chlothar II’s son is also his brother-in-law
- Chlothar II dies, Dagobert and Charibert each getting a part of the Frankish kingdom to rule
- ah sh*t here we go again
This is too long I'm not reading sorry
I got lost at 5tg or 6th level... **The names**
very accurate
Well that was incredible accurate lol
"True history" literaly
Byzantine empires are truly living on W40K difficulty xD
People describe playing the western roman empire in total war on the highest difficulty is the closest feeling to running the imperium.
china is a tough competitor when it comes to that though
@@takebacktheholyland9306 the fuck? Nah China for 90% of its history was playing on easy mode. Amazing geography, fertile land, no dangerous neighbors (besides the occasional nomads and Japanese pirates) and tons of natural resources.
@@dustin3294 Yet they still collapsed like 90 times. My good, the Chinese were such noobs
@@dustin3294 I can literally list you every civil war and warring period of china and the numbers included would dwarf literally every byzantine conflict
For reference, the taiping rebellion which took place before ww1 had a death toll higher than ww2 and that's just a SINGLE rebellion
Native Americans in North America be like: "you know what our civilization needs? More mounds"
That moment when some random city in Oklahoma makes contact with Postclassical Mesoamerica
@علي يا سر Nah sorry I made a reference so obscure it was a bad joke. A prehistoric city now called Spiro Mounds in Oklahoma has the only evidence of any contact between the Eastern United States and Mesoamerica, because obsidian from Mesoamerica was found there in excavations.
Native american in Mesoamerica:
"You know what our civilization needs? More human sacrifices"
@@thfkmnIII which is in turn helps making their agriculture flourished nicely because those crops obviously loves decomposed human bodies.
@@SetuwoKecik pretty sure they didn't bury the bodies underneath farmland
It's nice to see a good music test keeping these memes relatively fresh. i'm so tired of every slander meme using the same song
This song do be hitting different
Romance sengen was my favorite song I found used for this format but I do like that people are using different songs so it doesn’t get repetitive
@FemonicZI Content? What content? Shut the fuck up lmao
Old British History Be Like:
>Britons exist completely oblivious to the outside world
>65 AD, Romans come and absolutely wreck the mud-dwelling peasants
>Force Roman beliefs on them, everyone's speaking a weird Latin/British combo
>Roman Britons now slightly upset about this
>450 AD, Saxons and Anglos come and do the same
>Everyone's speaking an Anglo-Saxon/Latin/British combo
>The new Anglo-Roman Britons are moderately annoyed
>793 AD, Vikings come and do the same
>Everyone's speaking a Norse-Anglo-Latin-British combo
>The new Norse-Roman Anglo-Saxon Britons are not happy about this at all
>1066 AD, Normans come and do the same
>Language is changed to French for centuries
>The new Norse-Roman Norman Anglo-Saxon Britons are very angry and decide they want revenge
>1500 AD, the British Empire begins to form, 400 million people are Subjects of the Crown
>Everyone dislikes this
the ultimate comeback story
Dont mess with island people
You either invade or get invaded.
You do realise french was not the official language after the Norman’s invaded
Only royals and the aristocracy spoke it, everyone else spoke English
@@ieatmice751 yes but also probably middling merchants as well, anyone who is worth a dime spoke French in the same way as during the past eras, after allnot everybody spoke Norse nor Saxon
Peasants in the medieval times were not filthy, that meme is much more reflective of victorian era peasantry than anything.
@علي يا سر
bruh they did actually take baths in atleast the rivers they settled near to. Only certain priests who renounced worldy pleasures don't bathe.
@علي يا سر
Before 1500, europeans used to bathe often and were pretty clean. So no, they were not dirtier than China, Arabia or Rome except in 1500-1800
@@andreikovacs3476 depends. Iberia, italy and the balkans were well known to bathe with only other european populations catching up a few centuries later. Eastern and northern europe bathing wasn't that widespread.
@علي يا سر man arabs were never clean, you guys don't even have water
@@adolfhipsteryolocaust3443 In contrast, because they have little water, most of them live in the city where usually a large source of water or centralized water management exist. Maybe what you say ia true for Bedouin though (the nomadic tribes)
Ottoman History be like:
>Sultan Osbey gains power and land from centuries of nomadic warfare
>He abandons nomadic lifestyle for ??? Reason. he decides to set up inside castles instead
>newly conquered castles have beautiful foreign women, he no longer cares for Turkish women
>this insatiable desire leads the Sultan to the Balkans, Russia, and anywhere but east.
>Sultan Osbey has 28 sons with a harem of foreign women
>Sultan Osbey dies
>His son, Prince Furkan is now the Sultan
>Random Pasha doesn’t like Furkan, convinces 27 brothers to start massive civil war
>massive civil war
>Prince Osbey II wins the war, kills all brothers, vows not have so many children from different wives
>Has 30 sons from even more wives
>war
>Repeat for 500 years
>After 500 years, the Royal Family has no Turkic genes anymore
>Sultan Aptal wants to be a nomadic warrior again
>Decisive defeat
>Empire loses all lands
I don't even think the that even Osman I had any Turkic genes, they were already heavily mixed with Persians and middle easterners in general when they reached Anatolia.
Aptal? it means stupid,that must be Abdal
@@Letnistonwandif Then you don't know history at all. Because Osman I himself was a Central Asian Turk directly from Turkmenistan Merv. Whose ancestors run away from Mongol invasion.
The mothers of many Ottoman rulers were women from other Turkish beyliks. However, they had to leave because continuing this would drag the state into civil war and they married white slaves.
Not exactly tho, it was easier to conquer the west rather than east lmao
The smallest army in China is half the human population at the time... What do they put on those rice?
A lot of calories
Rice
Piss
More rice
some unname meat...you know...people change baby each other to cook
China : Having most bloodiest civil war
Also China : *Tis but a scratch*
A scratch? Your dynasty is collapsing!
@@owenhardy7035 Ancient Chinese Dynasty suffered million of Casualties from civil war and the biggest civil war was Taiping Rebellion and yet the Qing Dynasty can still survived
@@idsfxtm5759 Well what’s that then *Points at the Xinhai Revolution*
@@owenhardy7035 the end of Qing Dynasty,I mean tho,rebellion was a part of ancient Chinese history.Chinese history without rebellion is just eating rice with fork lol
"20 million people died, minor tactical defeat"
being south east asian people during medieval is completely underated
SPICE TRADING
because we were doing jack shit
Dutch Company when someone found the Spices:
Srivijaya enjoying their trade with every civilizations in the East and West
Khmer Empire try not to collapse:
Rome:
*" we are civilisation"*
China:
Some random warlord Casually sending 10% of the entire human species to die in small skirmish
western bias be like🤣:
We greatly underestimate the cleanliness of Medieval peoples. Welsh brushed their teeth so much, they were said to shine like ivory. Saints would choose to be dirty and sleep in bug infested beds to be unlike their peers.
Yes, but that's the Welsh
@@LucarioDoT Not all saints were Welsh
The english would argue the welsh are not people
@@matheusexpedito4577 And the Irish would have argument that the English aren't human
@@MegaKnight2012 then they would all declare war at each other for about 70% of their history
Mansa Musa trying to go anywhere without causing inflation (impossible challenge)
Kinda based ngl
Aksumite Empire try not to conquer their neighbors and forcibly convert them to christianity challenge impossible*
That chinese army thing isn’t even medieval slander more like ancient i still remember reading how a qin army of 1.2 million defeated a zhao army and captured 750k then had them dig their own grave buried alive...and this wasn’t even a major battle.
@@Deepak_Dhakad There was a Rebelion of Ilyria with aprox. 900K people,close enough, and i guess yours is proffesional army
@@Deepak_Dhakad thats wait i said that you were referring to Professional army
@@Deepak_Dhakad india wasn’t even a thing back then china actually was china had a way bigger population then india
@@Deepak_Dhakad it is real,Xi an city has a very big death cave ...over 400000 death in a farm
@@Deepak_Dhakad The system used for military back then in China had a professional farmer-levy system, where every (rice) farmer is cycle drafted for military training and public construction works in the months where they are not farming. It means that when there is a war, basically everyone has enough military training in place to just be drafted and sent straight to war, resulting in massive army consisting of literally every adult male in a province. Which *is*, as you say, unsustainable, and most of these wars end up causing even more death from famine than war casualties because the farmers are off to war and not farming their farm.
I really look forward to these because its like learning history but in a fun way
That tune is fcking fire man
You forgot about 999 Turkic tribal migrations 😅
Turkic tribes try to stay in one place for .003 miliseconds challenge (IMPOSSIBLE)(ADHD?!)
@@saxtonhalegaming 🐸
Meso America: *brain meme*
Also Meso America: *Mortal Kombat theme gets louder*
Ottoman Princes trying to avoid being assassinated by their brothers
not medieval tho
@@MasterofRoflness it is as medieval as safavid shahs having sex with wine boys
@@MasterofRoflness So does Witch Hunts. Yet you put those in Slander lol
I was always curious what would have happened if China, rather than fighting among itself for literally forever, decided to conquer other nations instead.
mongolia v2
The golden hoard would just kite the Chinese again, probably.
@@tacticaltoad1104 I’ve played age of empires 2, they attacked them all, yet they still didn’t work together.
It was already a big empire from conquering in ancient time. Running at any larger capacity could be difficult from central court. Also mainly due to their tributary system, they didnt really want to grab more land but rather vassals, who enjoy great autonomy.
@@Trgn their issue was even though amazing inventions were invented many went ignored since different states would not care for a particular invention from another state.
Loved it but I was kinda expecting the mongols to be showcased
You cant talk about the Middle Ages without talking about the mongols
@@dennisbergkamp1553 yeah, but if you put the different cultures of the Middle Ages in a video, then I felt like the mongols should have been there… personnal opinion of course.
Sicilians when a random foreign soldier sneezes in the direction of the noble's castle:
Really hoped a "poorest venetian merchant" part in the list, maybe with the wwe guy sniffing and rubbing moneys around.
That's just a reconnaissance unit in China
Witch hunts are not medieval… Also all Church important reforms are from this period. This is more topic than history
Just like the people being THAT dirty, it wasn't really the case.
it's a meme channel of a muslim dude who only knows pop history, what did you expect?
It's a meme
It's hyperbolic
Like with the Islamic Golden Age being shown as a Utopia Future City
And is protestant too, but people blame on Catholics anyway.
@@quinnholloway5400 That's the point of memes, slander with grains of truth for added comedy
That beat was actually decent
I love how the guards stand down after a few seconds lol
0:45 this just hits a little too hard.
Islamic golden age hits hard 🥶🥶🥶
Fr sadly we live today and not then
Now Islam is cave dwellers
@@martialartmaniac5001 Nah not Really, UAE, Arabia, Turkey, Morocco are growing too fast while Europe is dying out 😂
@@bambus3095 if putin keep up the good work, maybe europe will fall even sooner.
In those times the only thing you’d like to see less as a peasant than an enemy army would be your own, since both will take everything you own but one is around for more
This guy has some clear biases
Alot of people don't know this but the Byzantine was actually very advanced with laser weapons, space suit, the whole bit. But it was all destroyed in the Civil wars and the Ottoman invasion.
Ikr? Stupid Muslim evil propaganda
0:45 very true i miss old days😢
Imagine thinking that Witch Hunting actually took time in Medieval times, lmfao
As a Vietnamese I can attest to that, that the smallest Chinese army must have at least ten thousand men, the average standard army is about two hundred thousand men.
You’re undercounting by a billion for smallest and a trillion for the largest
wrong, the smallest chinese force is 20 million men, average is 1 billion and biggest is 9 trillion
Even our small and poor nation Like "Dai Viet" back in the ancient time, we field the army with 30k, 100k were considered normal. Imagine millions time richer and powerful country like China.
Ah yes. Trebuchet with cow ammo, my favourite tool in Stronghold Crusader.
Ottoman Empire just casually enjoying stability, wealth and centralised administration while Europe is just anarchy
Timur: What a nice little empire you have there
Naaaah
"Welcome back crusade fam, today we'll be talking about Europe, The oldest anarchy continent in minecraft"
That's not true, in fact by the 15th century the Europeans were in many aspects much more advanced than the middle eastern/east societies. So I think the ottomans were behind in many aspects compared to Europeans.
@@Letnistonwandif was governing one of them?
Hey, I think the smallest army in China is bigger than that.
As an ancient Chinese Imperialist, I can confirm our tiniest army was made up of 200 million soldiers.
golden age Baghdad had TAR PAVED STREETS, sadly they did not have skateboards. a true loss for my cousin Throckmorton
@@INeedToTalk To pray to His Almighty while journeying with the boys to Makkah
@@INeedToTalk No shit man. I was joking
Roman empire trying not to wage economy crippling civil wars every time an emperor dies (100% IMPOSSIBLE CHALLENGE)
fire beat
ah yes the good old days me and my fellow knights chilling while attacking the enemy for from the castle in 🇬🇧 🏴 ahhh yes
Byzantine History
>Basileus Michael Papadamonapalos XIX dies of pneumonia
>Empire collapses into its third civil war of the month
>Bulgars, Slavs, Normans, Turks, Arabs, and Persians invade
>General Constantine Kaladomonopos defeats all other factions and invaders
>Declares himself Basileus
>Dies from a small cut on finger becoming infected three weeks later
>Repeat
Crusaders try to not attack another christen city challenge (IMPOSSIBLE)
Literally half of these are medieval misconceptions tho
@Hamza Alkayyali but like. Not even exaggerations, just untruths yknow. Also kinda outdated stereotypes aswell, some of this stuff has been outta favour since the 90s.
European Monarchs trying not to make their gene pool a puddle (Impossible Challenge)
France when everyone makes fun of them for one loss when they have the highest recorded number of victories in history.
Nah
It's mostly just an English speaking countries' joke and stereotype.
Polish cavalry: *exists*
Ottoman Empire: Guess I'll die.
This wasn't medieval slander. This was medieval Europe slander. Smells like propoganda to me.
radical islamist propaganda
China is in Europe right ?
Go see a doctor
@@youamazing41 Crazy. I don't know what's "slander" about saying they had massive armies. Get ur brain checked
@@EtanoS24 you said "this was medieval europe slander" but it didnt only focus on europe lol, if the creator wanted to they could also add africa but lets be honest you and i wouldnt watch that now would we ?
@@handhand212 Sure. They didn't focus only on Europe. But the only other places they focused on were China and the Middle East. And they said "china has been armies" and "middle east golden age so amazing". How exactly are either of those "slander"?
Least broken apart Chinese dynasty after their 478th rebellion
How can they be so accurate?
0:05 it's that accurate? 🧠'nt?
@@Letnistonwandif I don't care
@@axellenhart7890 👍
@@Letnistonwandif 👍
@@axellenhart7890 👍
Methinks there's a tiny whiff of bias in the air
India trying not to get invaded by Muslims: impossible
0:12 This is so fucking true 😂
Italian city states after looking at destroyed Roman and Greek monuments: *deep philosophical thinking noises*
Medieval Indian History be like: A Muslim Warlord descended from nomads invades India from his military bases in Greater Iran and Central Asia and gets attacked by his worst enemies: local Muslim rulers already there who then team up with local Hindu rulers to launch a counterattack. He defeats them easily and then goes on a rampage. He briefly raids South India and destroys a major city and destabilizing a kingdom or small empire, but then angers all the neighboring kingdoms who all push him out. He then attempts another campaign to the South, but then gets absolutely vibe-checked in the Lower Deccan by a coalition of local Hindu and Muslim rulers who, unlike the first group in the North, are actually a formidable force. The Warlord gets killed, his army scattered, and his gains lost. Immediately after that, his empire shatters into tiny rival chiefdoms, and the areas of the South and East once under his control break free and either reinstate the previous government and rulers or form new chiefdoms as well. These chiefdoms then become fully-blown empires after 5 days which have control all the way up to Bengal in the east and Gujarat in the west. Sindh gets invaded again from the west, but nobody cares, because it's Sindh, and Sindh always gets invaded.
Peasants were cleaner than most people of today
Can I get a 1 HR loop of this music
The Aztecs panicking about their crops failing (it must be because they only sacrificed 563 people yesterday)
I like that this video is just as unbiased as islamic history from then and today
I got that feeling too
Pretty sure the channel owner is Iranian so it makes sense
@@ieatmice751 he is a secular iranian who don't even live in iran and hates the islamic iran and makes alot of biased videos about islamic history but when he finally makes an unbiased one people like you start crying
whet do you meen ؟
Great vid!
0:05 Help‼️ Help‼️ Im Being Opressed 🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️🔥🔥🔥🔥‼️‼️‼️‼️
2 holy grail references, delightful
0:05 Basically the entire East of the Rhine
The Chinese had absolutely bonkers number of soliders.
You forgot about Turkic tribes having their 286937294th of the year.
Turk CoCk sukr bile chagrabulug sheeet🇹🇷🇹🇲🇺🇿🇰🇬🇰🇿💀💩 ....
Eyran🇮🇷💪 Shahanshah cut 🍌of GoktOrk KaGan
*Meanwhile the Ethiopians are literally carving churches out of solid rock*
O:45
*_Raughs in Mongorian_*
The bug people have always been great in number in many ways it is a gift and a curse...
Medieval Jewry engaging in 100% legal and moral financial practices
Knights do be having that drip though.
0:45 best muslim moment 👍🏿
Byzantine always enter try not emboil in civil war challenge after every emperor
Name of the movie about China's smallest army?
Hero. It's a fantastic martial arts/mystery film and absolutely worth a watch
Oda Nobunaga “peacefully negotiating” with the people of Iga.
A chinese Warlord Province the Size of Belgium on their way to Levy 300 thousand men to Overthrow Fangtien Emperor of the Ji dynasty (it succeeds)
1:00 yeah....thats just tian4nanm3n palace....
A troop of 1k is...small. 10k is more like quick strike troops. 100k+ is for prolonged military campaign.
Chinese History be like:
> Duke Lugowo of Shu is pissed by the Emperor Mu by it's rule.
> Mandate of Heaven.
> Civil War between Prefectures and Regions.
Aftermath:
- Decisive Tang Victory.
- 245 Million Killed.
you forgot the cannibalism
Floods, drought, famine kill 100 million
@@cheapPixel cooking with nature and 不过人间 = 海來阿木 music plays in
The question is if so many people are killed how is the popluation still so bloody high 😂
The thumbnail is also the food supply during a siege
I know this will seem like an "aksually" comment but I have to say half of these here were more or less generalisations or mostly stereotypical thoughts that people after the Middle ages had for their ancestors, especially during the Enlightenment and Victorian Era.
A combination of believing that everything and everyone before them was dumb, stupid and primitive and a small amount of superioty complex. Of course even during these times not many people thought like that of the Medieval Era, so let's not also generalise the Early/Late modern periods too.
🤓
The Byzantine one was fairly accurate tho
It’s a joke bro.
Um aksumite
Trying not to be biased challenge: impossible
Funny how during the Middle Ages, it was Asia that prospered and not Europe. Then a few centuries later and Europe prospered but not Asia. So eventually the power is gonna shift back to Asia again.
Imagine how powerful a unified Eurasia could be
It pretty much already is shifting to East Asia specifically. China, Japan, Korea, Singapore , etc. Are already quite powerful, developed and are leading the world in many fields, while Indonesia, India and the Gulf states in Middle East are going to join them in the foreseeable future.
@@stvk99for some unkowns reason, we asians hate each others, so NO.
Weren't islamic cities just like other medieval cities?
they were way better and very civilized
Tehy were but much advanced and powerful back then
@@INeedToTalkthey had nukes
@@INeedToTalkand drove fiats
Irish warlords trying not be absolutely badass for more than 30 seconds
Ottomans trying not to declare war on the west for more than 10 seconds
Umayyad caliphate and Mongol empire:
This land is *mine*
as a medieval i can confirm this is true
Yoo, were you the one that posted the meme that was like “knights rescuing a princess in stories vs reality”?
Ivan the terrible attempting the "Try not to conquer every Russian principality and brutally murder 99% of their aristocracy" challenge (IMPOSSIBLE)
Ivan with their new neighboor : Tatarstan💀
@@afdalridwan3813 conquered that too
0:36 ABSOLUTELY AND UNDOUBTEDLY BASED
bro woke up and chose reality
Islamic princes trying not to strangle their one month old brother after their ruling father dies (impossible challenge)
Isn't it the opposite?
You mean everyone ruling family
@@scarymonster5541 the Europeans didn’t do it because of their succession laws. However in the Islamic world princes would basically kill each other if they couldn’t come to an agreement. I also said strangle because even if you were killing them you couldn’t spill the blood of royals
@@Comet-2011-W3-Lovejoy the one month old brother strangles the prince
@@Jonnell01 yeah like that