You're one of the few therapists who actually admits that certain techniques therapists tell you to use just don't work. I got tired of therapists years ago giving bad advice.
That's interesting. Can you share what you mean? I'm interested in understanding your point. I think I understand where you're coming from, but I'm not sure.
My worst 'habit ' with insecurity is being a 'doormat' I guess. I'm so nice, accommodating and considerate to people so they like me that I let them walk all over me. I guess this is number 3# over compensation
#1 - We call what you are describing 'Putting yourself down' or 'running yourself down'. I have done it since the age of 11 at high school. I was so anxious and insecure there, I started to try and toughen up by insulting myself so I would appear to be able to laugh to myself and not be affected by poor treatment by others. 50 years later it is part of me and I am criticised for doing it. Nobody cares how I feel and what I am going through. But I am always seeking reassurance for my self-doubt. That leads to my being rejected and unwanted and I can't perform in jobs.
Insecurities trigger us to shrink from them. Those without much mental health baggage dive right in to the challenge and start to learn. Very small steps forward do add up. We can all do that. An exception is if excess outside pressure ads to the insecurity, such as having a demanding person over us complaining about a lack of skill...and offering no guidance at all (as in a toxic workplace).
Please make a video about how to deal with our inner thoughts keep telling us we can't do stuff even when ourself know that we actually can, very struggling with this one, always love how you explain things, full of compassion and no judgement
Borderline Personality Disorder - it felt like prison in my head when I was in a relationship last year. I was consumed with insecurity & jealousy. I just can't do relationships. It's very sad. Complex PTSD from childhood is the cause and it's very hard to put right, can't ever imagine being 'normal' or 'secure' in this lifetime.
I am totally with you on the prison thing. I have to push myself to actually go out, and when I do it is rarely ever enjoyable. Sad reality is there is no place i nlife for those who cannot fit in and I just want it all to end. Therapy and medication do nothing life is just too much to bear.
@@ukchris64I get this way. I feel like there is no place for me out in the world. I wish I knew how to be friends and all that, but added to my lack of that ability is my age. After a certain age, people have their friend groups and there is no place. I think this is why elderly people get so lonely as their friends begin to die. People say, “go make new friends,” but no one acknowledges that it’s not as simple. I hope you will find a way to hang on. I wish there was a place for people who do not fit whatever the hell norm we are supposed to. Society is so cold to people who can’t figure out all those social cues. 😢
Hey, wanted to chime in here since I'm dealing with much the same. So here's something I learned: burnout and depression are different and treating them can be diametrically opposed. Before the pandemic, when I was depressed, I'd host dinner parties or other get togethers. But now, I'm just burned out. So my approach for dealing with the depression by seeing people must be in the context of burnout. So here's my own plan: Do NOT attend any events with strangers. Better: visit only friends I know will be healthy for me. Set up a Sign up Genius for socializing. I'm going to try either every two weeks or once a month. Have single person, low energy meetups. Favor NO ENERGY meetups, like talk on the phone, or stream a favorite game for any friends who want to watch and chat (especially if you're avoiding people by gaming!) Have body doubling meetups where a friend just comes over to keep you company while you do a difficult chore. (You can also reverse the favor, as super low energy - you don't even have a chore!) Lastly (and probably the most important!) schedule _rest!_ I'm good at scheduling events, but it never occurred to me to schedule rest after or even before. That's a game changer for me. _I need to see people_ to get over my depression. However, I'm also so burned out that I have no energy to do so. I need to look at the problem differently and solve it on my scale. Which is the point of this video. :) Best of luck to all of you here. ❤❤❤️
I have been accused of being a narcissist and it really hurts my feelings, as it has such bad connotations. But if you have a lot of anxiety and self-doubt and have had bad life experiences, you do seek reassurance. People refuse to give it; they treat me with lack of affection and with disdain and do not want my company. I wish to feel important and cared about, at least by one person, but there is nobody for me. I can't even discuss world affairs with anyone. Does that mean I am a narcissist? Surely when you have been disliked even by your family, it's only natural to have an unmet need - more like a gaping hole within and then school and work add worse experiences to that. Why does that make you some kind of monster??
Scott, I by chance came across your RUclips video and watched. I haven’t always been a huge fan of therapy but after watching just one video, I am excited now to work on certain areas of my life that perhaps I wouldn’t have before. You have a very great way of disseminating information that’s honest, heartfelt and very instructive. I have always felt that in counseling I didn’t connect with my counselors. My perception was that I was talked down to; that they thought I was incapable of understanding psychology philosophy or perhaps since I have a mental illness I didn’t have the intelligence level needed to understand the methods, etc. Thank you for not only the coaching you provide but the actual therapy methods being used. I can then research them myself and come to a better understanding. Thank you.
There is no doubt you are a handsome chap with a talent for conveying life strategies to overcome/get ahead with mental stuff which trips us all up. Thank you.
If people are talking about your hair, they have nothing else to do. Get over it, you are so great for providing these videos. You're an amazing human being.
The first one is useful for deflecting if someone is being rude or trying to pick at your insecurity maliciously. It can be helpful to smile then repeat the comment back but magnify it. If I don't do this I just fall to pieces.😂 I'm aware of my insecurities and this makes me feel more in control of the interaction. I absolutely find Dr. Eilers work incredibly though. 😊
I'm much older and retired. I find the thing that seems to have helped me most is being permanently away from the people who hurt me. That wasn't always possible when I was younger and working for a living. I'm becoming comfortable with myself and beginning to understand what held me back from reaching my potential. Another thing that's helped me a lot is finding a good friend. I'm an introvert, and I feel that just the experience of living and learning is worthwhile in and of itself.
❤ Love You and your ears!!!! People, in pain, cause pain!. 64 old lady in Abilene Tx. 🎉🎉 You are the best! You are helping me cope.!!! ADHD, OCD...Infant backseat car exhaust...had to be revived victim. It's been a rollercoaster ride of a life. But YOU have helped! Thank you.
My dad was the person who gave me the most insecurities; basically, he was a bully and constantly critical of the way I looked and everything I did. I've got a friend who criticises me and has no qualms about doing so. If I object, he tells me I'm being oversensitive. My sister and my niece also make fun of certain aspects of my character, in that I'm quite clumsy. Nobody has any awareness that these things hurt me. Yes, I am sensitive, insecure and severely lacking in confidence. I struggle in social situations, at work (although I'm currently unemployed) and have never had a successful relationship. I'm 61 y.o., so it's been going on a long time.
From my own example I was ashamed to tell people that I don’t know how to ride a bicycle and that haunted me for decades. Every time the people wanted you to plan a fun activity that included cycling I would come up with all kinds of hideous excuses one of them was “oh I’m too drunk to ride a bicycle now” until the day being older than 35 years I had the courage to learn how to ride it … but my life took a sharp turn to the worse and there is nobody left in my life to do such activities with 🤷♂️🙄😢
I had a "boyfriend" in West Virginia who was proud that he couldn't read or write. Obviously he didn't have a good vocabulary. Finally I told him that people had words for things so that they didn't have to point at things and say "that." Re: learning the names of tools
Country home, take me home to the place, I belong… miss WV.. but it sucks he never learned to read or write. Almost had the same thing happen to me and I thank the patient tutor when we hit that amazing point of when I finally grasped how to read. I was 8 or 9 and reading was so difficult.
Thank you, Dr. Scott, for the extremely important work you do. Would you please consider doing a video addressing those of us who feel tired of ourselves? I'm sure I can't be the only one who feels that way. I am so very tired of myself...and it's an extremely sad feeling. Thank you very much for considering it for a future topic.
As far as the coping mechanism you highlighted of putting up a shell that's what i had to do for my entire childhood in the schools i went to!, it's like verbal self flagellation , beating yourself raw so it satisfies the bullies so they leave you alone!, but yeah, to yourself you feel worse like, "wow! look what I have to do to survive this experience!" man, life sucks
Thank you for the common sense view and straight forward tips/strategies that are actually easy to understand for me. I was home schooled and I’m realising now how much it’s impacted me. Your approach in this video is really going to help me. I’m currently in the process of changing careers from being a cleaner because it’s too hard on me physically. And I’m going for an entry level PSA job in a hospital in a few weeks. Before I watched your video I was actually subconsciously growing, as I pushed myself in my personal life to just ask myself questions with no judgment as if I was answering questions to what the job would have me do. It was so cool and foreign to me as I started to feel more natural and started being more outgoing with it, vocalising to myself, and I started to even feel smarter. Then I watched your video and realised it’s like what you were saying!!! So now I’m going to be doing this with other things too, also with tools 😂 and being put on the spot with work interview questions, slowly getting more confidence. I can definitely say it’s working and I’m super excited. I also lack common sense which my husband mentioned could be from homeschooling. I didn’t have opportunities to be in certain environments and experience life more, I’m really excited to grow. I also loved your video about overwhelm and I’m going to do those strategies. Thank you so much ☺️
I'm so glad I found your channel. Its given me hope. You seem to understand and have empathy for the struggling. Thank you Dr Scott. I plan on viewing lots more from your channel.
Yeah, the last one is what my therapist also suggests to me. This is helpful because it does get me out of the rumination cycle, but it's terrifying because I'm learning how to do it while I have negative voices and anxiety going on in my head. I always feel like I'm competing and comparing myself to others, which also isn't helpful. But trying to focus more on the microsteps instead of the macro is another good way to reframe it
As usual, excellent advice. So thanks. You are so relatable and your voice is very easy to listen to. I've said it before, but want to repeat, I think that you are the only psychologist worth listening to on RUclips.
I was never good a singing either. But at some point I was inspired to learn how to. I made sure I was in private places and started working at it regularly. I was really bad for about 2-3 years literally. But I did develop my voice and singing ability and I now actually enjoy singing and have no fear or anxiety about it.
I know it doesn't matter now since you're secure about them... but for we others who aren't, just know that there are people who like "sticky outy ears'. I'm one of them! My first love had them and I find them adorbs. Also, LOVE the mucro goal recommendation. I've heard it before from J.B. Peterson about doing tasks but never thought to apply it to learning.
I have a very hard time with wanting to be up for the day. I know its depression, but i haven't been able to tolerate medication for it. So if you would be willing to do a video about how to want to get up and be up during the day to live life and strategies to use without medication that would be so lovely Dr. Scott? I feel like i am at the end of my rope ad to what to do. I want to switch my nights to days and start living. I am hoping that thats possible...thankyou again🌸🌈
I'm having the same. My meds are not designed for mental health & I shy away from an antidepressant even though after many deaths year after year very close to me for about 3 yrs I requested one. Well I never started. It expired. I know crazy isn't it? I thought I need time to work thru this by first sleep exercise & diet. I still feel that. I'm disciplined on monitoring my own self plan of good health such as meds & vitiams taking trash out getting food yet I make endless plans notes daily monthly goals that never ever come to fruition. My expired antidepressant still stares at me & I will be discussing it with my primary. I was just afraid of it on some level. I kept thinking yea but you can stop it if it doesn't help. It so sucks that most do not understand the sleep issue even the so called gurus because they never talk about real truth at being awake all night til sun rise only to sleep in the day & sometimes that just doesn't work as things such as med appts bank etc need to be in traditional hours. At least I use to be productive at night but now I stare at the phone...poison. How old were you when you started doing this? Was it a job that switched things? Thank you for sharing if you are ok with that. 😊
@sweetest247 can I ask what antidepressant you've been prescribed? I have Bipolar and Lithium has kept me well and continues to do so, no; it's kept me alive! There's no shame in taking a medicine for the brain. Sometimes diet and exercise aren't enough. I've had serious depression and it's a living hell. Antidepressants helped me. They're not the 'be all and end all' but sometimes your brain chemistry needs a helping hand. If you had diabetes you'd take insulin, 'no questions asked' antidepressants are no different - I don't know why there's this obsession to be med-free? If it helps, take it! I take Venlafaxine for anxiety disorder and have no desire to stop taking it; 'if its not broken, don't fix it!' It suits my brain; that and the lithium keep me 'above water'. I never want to get that low again, it was more frightening than psychosis (mania)! Routine is something that helps too. If you want to switch from night to day you will have to force yourself to stay up during the day (to begin with) and sleep/ rest at night. I find gardening and decorating very mindful (not thinking about shit). There are lots of creative things you can do that will occupy your mind. Be kind to yourself, above all. Eliminate pressure and do things that bring about satisfaction; small steps to begin with. Set yourself a task, it can be ridiculously small, but do it! It takes time getting well, but don't give yourself an even harder time by trying to go 'med-free' when taking a pill or two a day, could make all the difference. When your serotonin levels are low, they take all your motivation away. Let us know how you get on. Antidepressants take around 3/4 weeks to kick in.
@@sweetest247 Hello, sorry for getting back so late to you now! It's been a slow emotional day. Life is complicated for me. But to answer your question this inability of mine to cope in life started quite young in my life. I didn't have a good birth story with getting 0 good stuff from my My Mom so I think alot of my problems are related to a bad gut. They say the serotonin we get for our brain comes from our gut. And then I had an alcoholic parent which didn't help. I developed a lot of fear due to the uncertainty at home. Then later I was diagnosed with OCD and germ phobia. Then my sleep cycle starting going off the rails when I started to go through menopause and later the OCD got worse and I ended up being in the washroom all night washing my hands. So then the sleep thing just got to the point now where I am up til 5:30 in the morning and go to bed then and get up around 1 pm in the afternoon . It's wrecking my immune system and causing more depression. I have taken antidepressants but now I either fall down and break bones or they cause me to have bladder issues when I take them. I took ciprilex which caused insomnia as well. I have taken most of the SSRIs plus clonazepam and lorazapam as well. I wish I knew what to do. How to fix or manage all of this. I so want to be up for the day. The interesting part is I haven't functioned or coped well since I quit smoking in my 20"s. Smoking seemed to help me deal with life. I can't go back to smoking nor do I want to do that. I just wish I could find something similar non hurtful way like the cigarettes to use to help with the coping and living part. Right now I am drinking espresso 1 cup to keep somewhat going. It's not perfect for course. Sorry for this long explanation...I wish I knew your real name... anyways I am glad you reached out to inquire about my journey!😊 It helps to know we are not alone in our struggles. Dr. Scott is fantastic. That's what he says that we have lots in common. He is helping me not to give up. I just feel so tired of this and fighting to keep going. I imagine you must feel the same way. ...
@@junegagnon6506 June how old are you now? Were you ever married? Have children? I ask because all these life events can as you know impact as well. That is why we look at other factors. Yes the cigs do provide a quick sense of relief however you left that behind & only your thoughts say go back but physically you definitely made the right choice. Congrats! Where do you reside in the US if you are from here? Were you ever able to hold down a job? Any volunteer work? Do you have a denomination? Since medical & meds are an extra added financial burden are you able to receive assistance? I'm sorry. Life is so damn hard as we weave in & out. Our brains minds are much stronger than we often realize. I hope you don't mind the questions. 😊
@@sweetest247 Hello again! You are right many things do play a role and impact outcomes of functioning in our lives. I don't really feel too comfortable with sharing too many personal things about myself. I do have a faith though. Even though I find it hard to live life I know that from my reading and studying of the Bible that I have hope of a better life and future in a new world that God has promised to bring right here to this lovely planet. He is going to remove and replace earthly governments with his Kingdom rulership. So no more suffering , problem health and even doing away with death. He also promises we can build a house and get to live in it without worrying that someone will take it away from us. And since God does not lie all of us can rely truly on him since he is perfect. So what about you do you have a faith? Where do you go other than Dr.Scott for answers to big questions or concerns?
I wish you'd do a video on overcoming Agoraphobia. I'm really getting stuck with mine and battling leaving home again. I'm not working at its hurting my marriage financially. 😢😢
But what if your insecurities are physical attributes like your nose, your lips, etc. This advice makes it seem like cosmetic surgery is the way to resolve those insecurities. My
9:15 You are going to be faced, not with your own insecurity, but with your own inadequacy. Many of the situations that you describe of getting exposed are about one's inadequacy, which causes the insecurity: cover-ups of your inadequacy. If you can take an honest self-appraisal, you can accept that you don't have some skills and you can learn those things to make yourself adequate in the areas you want to improve.
Insecurity/inadequacy is not always due to lack of skills! Some of us are disabled, or disfigured, or maybe just not very smart. And we feel immense shame, and insecurity.
Iam curious how a typical grandiose NPD person would react to this video? Any theories, Dr Eilers? Im genuinely curious what is going on in their head when they are confronted this way... Meaning, being talked at by someone who assumes they have an insecurity while they themselves are in absolute denial? or are they? Would love your input, thanks :) Also PS really bravo for just being open and confident in sharing these vulnerable moments from your life, that is probably the best demonstration of how much you've grown in your confidence - being able to tell these stories from the past that used to be "embarassing". Honestly its not even embarassing! We are just so hard on ourselves and the society is a monstermonsmaking us.... Im a woman so I will never fully understand the struggles of men but I think I do to some extent get that pressure from the brotherhood you all encounter. I appreciate your vulnerability, men dont realize THAT is part of real manhood. Super proud of you for modeling that!! I hope more men make it to your channel!
I'm really confused. Why would you invest time learning about tools (presumably secretly to avoid shame?) in order to fit in? Did you actually want to learn mechanics? I think it's more important to really question why something is important to us. Lots of things were important to me, that I invested all my energy and time into, and ultimately it destroyed my health. Even though many of those things were health-related!
It is very hard when you can't seem to communicate with others. Thats due to a Learning disability and possibly the difficulty of having Asperger's. I am very aware that i am not good at doing the talk and other things everyone else seems to know how to do . Its depressing and frustrating of course and it has led me to avoid people and situations like family gatherings, etc. So how do you learn this insecurity away when you have these deficiencies with how your brain works. I would love to be able to not be afraid of situations where i have to talk and converse with other people. And then it gets harder when you have nothing going on in your life to talk about...what do you do? I have basically given up ....
I gotta tell you, if you don't already know. Accept and embrace your weaknesses and eventually you loop the loop and they become your super powers. If you're like me, made of all the parts that everyone threw away, suddenly everyone is trying to take your cultivated weaknesses and hopefully you have the self love and fortitude to have stopped playing by their rules long ago. And when given an ultimatum, you further divide your hemispheres and expose the highly evolved reptile brain that is all they really want anyway, and the war is going on inside for the drivers seat. So don't favor any part of yourself over another, or rate or rank compete or vs. if you want to remain in control of your self that is.
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'Feel The Fear And Do It Anyway' by Susan Jeffries was a book that due to my ADHD I didnt get round to reading! But I've never forgotten the title and have used it on many occasions in the last 30+ years. Life isn't always comfortable. Personal growth always always involves pain to some degree or being uncomfortable at least - think of it as 'growing pains' but each time you stretch yourself it gets a little bit easier. It's like physical workout, the more you push yourself the more you can do. And the buzz you get when you 'feel the fear and do it anyway' is immense! A note to the younger viewers, it does get easier, your confidence will get to the point you don't give a shit what other people think - trust me. Until then, blag it! Act! Make believe! Whatever you have to do to overcome your fears xxx
what if you’re a young person (26, idk if you consider that young) who used to be confident and grew into self-hate and worthlessness? is there still hope for me? it feels like i’m getting worse every yr.
@AlexisTwoLastNames at 26 you're still a baby! I'm 53 and still blagging it! But I haven't given up. I didn't really begin to start knowing myself until I was in my thirties. These feelings of worthlessness, we're not born with them; they're put there - often by parents who feel inadequate as human beings. How dare they! How dare anyone make you feel or tell you you are worth nothing! We are made to feel like that by a parent who doesn't tell you your worth too. Neglect is just as damaging. My father did the former to me and my mother did the latter - consequently I went on to have 3 amazing children who DO KNOW THEIR WORTH! Sounds like you could do with getting yourself a lovely counsellor you can share your thoughts and feelings with (if you're in the UK, contact MIND - they're awesome and it's over the phone and you can refer yourself). Get 'the ball rolling' and begin to shed what others have put there. It won't happen 'overnight', there's no quick fix, but in time the 'real you' will begin to come through - a bit like a caterpillar that sheds its cocoon and unfolds into a beautiful butterfly 🦋. If these people are still in your life, or anyone that makes you feel 'less than' - GET RID! They serve no positive purpose. Start writing to yourself, write down your feelings, what has made you feel like that and what you're going to do to change that. At 26 you're just starting out, I kind of felt like that at 51 when I realised I had Borderline Personality Disorder! Sometimes it feels like one 'uphill battle' so you have to take each day as it comes, be kind to yourself, even be the parent you wished you'd had. It's sad when that's the case, I've been sad, but you grieve for a while then pick yourself up and move-on. Acknowledging your feelings is SO important; exploring the reasons behind them comes next, then LET GO! Free yourself! You can't change what has or hasn't happened but you don't have to carry the damage around with you all your life. Just remember though; feelings aren't facts! So just because you feel worthless it doesn't mean you are. You're young, go out and have fun once in a while, enjoy yourself, live life! I recently went on 'SWARM' at Thorpe Park (UK) check it out on utube! Really frightening but great fun! Do stuff that makes you feel alive; life is for living! xxx
Yes, I would like that too. I just get overwhelmed when there is pressure put upon me. Then I get these mini breakdowns. I attribute it to the Asperger's.
What if you were insecure about your ears? How does that translate to some skill you can improve on? Besides trying to lie to yourself that you don't care.
I learned about Korean culture, see ears that are big as being someone who is Highly Intelligent. They wish they had bigger ears. I didn't even notice your ears until you mentioned it😏
Oh Yeah, I totally am in an abusive relationship, with myself... I'll keep watching before I say anything stupid EDIT: Yeah So. That's an interesting video and I do relate to your story as well. Due to mental health issues I also had a lot of topic and categories of things and actions that I was woefully incompetent at and have gradually grown better at. Thing is I have had a bad memory for a while (might be due to stress really but hear me out...) and lately most things I try to learn I forget or can't focus on enough to really learn. It's been stressing me even more and I've been extremely insecure about almost Everything for the past couple of months. I wish I could come out of that to actually take a step forward and learn the things I need to, but everytime I try I end up dissociating a bit and losing the little amount of knowledge I'm trying to absorb. And I'm not going to just write words for tools, places, objects and other bobbles that I wish I knew in a notebook for hours everyday and hope to remember them when I need them in the hopes to overcome this situation. Honestly I feel kinda desperate right now. like there's nothing I can do to help myself? But I also know, I'm currently mentally exhausted by stress and I could totally Try your solution even if I don't believe in myself right now and it could probably work? You probably already made a video that would be helpful for me in my current situation..?
You're one of the few therapists who actually admits that certain techniques therapists tell you to use just don't work. I got tired of therapists years ago giving bad advice.
He's brill. His book is fantastic too. You can tell he knows what it's like to struggle.
In a world that social media influences the way that you think, I'm thankful that RUclips recommended your videos, you're helping me to know myself
Never once thought you had big ears Dr Scott!
For me, insecurity = avoidance
That's interesting. Can you share what you mean? I'm interested in understanding your point. I think I understand where you're coming from, but I'm not sure.
I am insecure about 90 percent in life and especially at work and social situations. But, I like your advice.
My worst 'habit ' with insecurity is being a 'doormat' I guess. I'm so nice, accommodating and considerate to people so they like me that I let them walk all over me. I guess this is number 3# over compensation
me2
#1 - We call what you are describing 'Putting yourself down' or 'running yourself down'. I have done it since the age of 11 at high school. I was so anxious and insecure there, I started to try and toughen up by insulting myself so I would appear to be able to laugh to myself and not be affected by poor treatment by others. 50 years later it is part of me and I am criticised for doing it. Nobody cares how I feel and what I am going through. But I am always seeking reassurance for my self-doubt. That leads to my being rejected and unwanted and I can't perform in jobs.
Aw you're adorable Dr. Scott 💗 who's trolling you!? 😡 Let me at em!
You have my axe. 😂
He is untrollable. So, so smart and best in his field
Insecurities trigger us to shrink from them. Those without much mental health baggage dive right in to the challenge and start to learn. Very small steps forward do add up. We can all do that. An exception is if excess outside pressure ads to the insecurity, such as having a demanding person over us complaining about a lack of skill...and offering no guidance at all (as in a toxic workplace).
Not everything can be overcome.
Please make a video about how to deal with our inner thoughts keep telling us we can't do stuff even when ourself know that we actually can, very struggling with this one, always love how you explain things, full of compassion and no judgement
Borderline Personality Disorder - it felt like prison in my head when I was in a relationship last year. I was consumed with insecurity & jealousy. I just can't do relationships. It's very sad. Complex PTSD from childhood is the cause and it's very hard to put right, can't ever imagine being 'normal' or 'secure' in this lifetime.
I feel ya, same here
I am totally with you on the prison thing. I have to push myself to actually go out, and when I do it is rarely ever enjoyable. Sad reality is there is no place i nlife for those who cannot fit in and I just want it all to end. Therapy and medication do nothing life is just too much to bear.
@@ukchris64I get this way. I feel like there is no place for me out in the world. I wish I knew how to be friends and all that, but added to my lack of that ability is my age. After a certain age, people have their friend groups and there is no place. I think this is why elderly people get so lonely as their friends begin to die. People say, “go make new friends,” but no one acknowledges that it’s not as simple. I hope you will find a way to hang on. I wish there was a place for people who do not fit whatever the hell norm we are supposed to. Society is so cold to people who can’t figure out all those social cues. 😢
Hey, wanted to chime in here since I'm dealing with much the same.
So here's something I learned: burnout and depression are different and treating them can be diametrically opposed.
Before the pandemic, when I was depressed, I'd host dinner parties or other get togethers.
But now, I'm just burned out.
So my approach for dealing with the depression by seeing people must be in the context of burnout.
So here's my own plan:
Do NOT attend any events with strangers. Better: visit only friends I know will be healthy for me.
Set up a Sign up Genius for socializing. I'm going to try either every two weeks or once a month.
Have single person, low energy meetups.
Favor NO ENERGY meetups, like talk on the phone, or stream a favorite game for any friends who want to watch and chat (especially if you're avoiding people by gaming!)
Have body doubling meetups where a friend just comes over to keep you company while you do a difficult chore. (You can also reverse the favor, as super low energy - you don't even have a chore!)
Lastly (and probably the most important!) schedule _rest!_ I'm good at scheduling events, but it never occurred to me to schedule rest after or even before. That's a game changer for me.
_I need to see people_ to get over my depression. However, I'm also so burned out that I have no energy to do so.
I need to look at the problem differently and solve it on my scale.
Which is the point of this video. :)
Best of luck to all of you here.
❤❤❤️
Same and same. I feel broken and starting to think, is this it. Yet i do remind myself, this will pass. Be kind to ourselves 💝
I have been accused of being a narcissist and it really hurts my feelings, as it has such bad connotations. But if you have a lot of anxiety and self-doubt and have had bad life experiences, you do seek reassurance. People refuse to give it; they treat me with lack of affection and with disdain and do not want my company. I wish to feel important and cared about, at least by one person, but there is nobody for me. I can't even discuss world affairs with anyone. Does that mean I am a narcissist? Surely when you have been disliked even by your family, it's only natural to have an unmet need - more like a gaping hole within and then school and work add worse experiences to that. Why does that make you some kind of monster??
❤
Scott, I by chance came across your RUclips video and watched. I haven’t always been a huge fan of therapy but after watching just one video, I am excited now to work on certain areas of my life that perhaps I wouldn’t have before. You have a very great way of disseminating information that’s honest, heartfelt and very instructive. I have always felt that in counseling I didn’t connect with my counselors. My perception was that I was talked down to; that they thought I was incapable of understanding psychology philosophy or perhaps since I have a mental illness I didn’t have the intelligence level needed to understand the methods, etc. Thank you for not only the coaching you provide but the actual therapy methods being used. I can then research them myself and come to a better understanding. Thank you.
There is no doubt you are a handsome chap with a talent for conveying life strategies to overcome/get ahead with mental stuff which trips us all up. Thank you.
If people are talking about your hair, they have nothing else to do. Get over it, you are so great for providing these videos. You're an amazing human being.
The first one is useful for deflecting if someone is being rude or trying to pick at your insecurity maliciously. It can be helpful to smile then repeat the comment back but magnify it. If I don't do this I just fall to pieces.😂 I'm aware of my insecurities and this makes me feel more in control of the interaction. I absolutely find Dr. Eilers work incredibly though. 😊
Dr. Scott your the best
I'm much older and retired. I find the thing that seems to have helped me most is being permanently away from the people who hurt me. That wasn't always possible when I was younger and working for a living. I'm becoming comfortable with myself and beginning to understand what held me back from reaching my potential. Another thing that's helped me a lot is finding a good friend. I'm an introvert, and I feel that just the experience of living and learning is worthwhile in and of itself.
❤ Love You and your ears!!!! People, in pain, cause pain!. 64 old lady in Abilene Tx. 🎉🎉 You are the best! You are helping me cope.!!! ADHD, OCD...Infant backseat car exhaust...had to be revived victim. It's been a rollercoaster ride of a life. But YOU have helped! Thank you.
My dad was the person who gave me the most insecurities; basically, he was a bully and constantly critical of the way I looked and everything I did. I've got a friend who criticises me and has no qualms about doing so. If I object, he tells me I'm being oversensitive. My sister and my niece also make fun of certain aspects of my character, in that I'm quite clumsy. Nobody has any awareness that these things hurt me. Yes, I am sensitive, insecure and severely lacking in confidence. I struggle in social situations, at work (although I'm currently unemployed) and have never had a successful relationship. I'm 61 y.o., so it's been going on a long time.
Get rid of anyone that doesn't uplift you! Sometimes you've got to be your own 'wingman' when others have failed you. Don't settle.
It sounds like your friend is not actually your friend.
Get rid of that friend! A real friend would not treat you like that.
You may be a victim of narcissistic abuse, I encourage you to read up on it. It’s not normal for a parent to try and break down their own child.
From my own example I was ashamed to tell people that I don’t know how to ride a bicycle and that haunted me for decades. Every time the people wanted you to plan a fun activity that included cycling I would come up with all kinds of hideous excuses one of them was “oh I’m too drunk to ride a bicycle now” until the day being older than 35 years I had the courage to learn how to ride it … but my life took a sharp turn to the worse and there is nobody left in my life to do such activities with 🤷♂️🙄😢
Very helpful advice if your insecurities are about your skills - what do I do when I feel insecure about my looks?
Best video Dr Scott. I’m not crying.. okay I’m totally crying..
Man, you are the best. Cannot thank you enough for how much these videos have helped me in the last 6 months.
This is what we need, Dr. Scott. Thank you, Sir.
Its true i do feel like i am in a mental prison. And do feel very criopled.
Me too ❤❤❤
@@MargaretHorridge-fy5bxthank-you Margaret for the encouragement. .. we all need to talk about these things. At least I think it helps...❤
Try some of the Vernon Howard lectures...or Anthony De Mello.
Great video and your ears are perfectly normal.
I've never even looked at your ears! I look at your book cover! I am retired, I am not insecure about anything anymore. 🎉
Okay #3 is ME! Everything you said about #3 is absolutely me. And Dr. Scott is 100% correct. When people start pointing it out, i get so pissed.
Same. I think I spend too much time trying NOT to be like that to others so it irritates me when others do it.
My late mother was my biggest bully. She suffered from BPD.
I had a "boyfriend" in West Virginia who was proud that he couldn't read or write. Obviously he didn't have a good vocabulary.
Finally I told him that people had words for things so that they didn't have to point at things and say "that." Re: learning the names of tools
Country home, take me home to the place, I belong…
miss WV.. but it sucks he never learned to read or write.
Almost had the same thing happen to me and I thank the patient tutor when we hit that amazing point of when I finally grasped how to read. I was 8 or 9 and reading was so difficult.
Thank you, Dr. Scott, for the extremely important work you do.
Would you please consider doing a video addressing those of us who feel tired of ourselves? I'm sure I can't be the only one who feels that way. I am so very tired of myself...and it's an extremely sad feeling.
Thank you very much for considering it for a future topic.
Thank you sir for taking the time to post these videos.
As far as the coping mechanism you highlighted of putting up a shell that's what i had to do for my entire childhood in the schools i went to!, it's like verbal self flagellation , beating yourself raw so it satisfies the bullies so they leave you alone!, but yeah, to yourself you feel worse like, "wow! look what I have to do to survive this experience!" man, life sucks
Thank you for the common sense view and straight forward tips/strategies that are actually easy to understand for me. I was home schooled and I’m realising now how much it’s impacted me. Your approach in this video is really going to help me. I’m currently in the process of changing careers from being a cleaner because it’s too hard on me physically. And I’m going for an entry level PSA job in a hospital in a few weeks. Before I watched your video I was actually subconsciously growing, as I pushed myself in my personal life to just ask myself questions with no judgment as if I was answering questions to what the job would have me do. It was so cool and foreign to me as I started to feel more natural and started being more outgoing with it, vocalising to myself, and I started to even feel smarter. Then I watched your video and realised it’s like what you were saying!!! So now I’m going to be doing this with other things too, also with tools 😂 and being put on the spot with work interview questions, slowly getting more confidence. I can definitely say it’s working and I’m super excited. I also lack common sense which my husband mentioned could be from homeschooling. I didn’t have opportunities to be in certain environments and experience life more, I’m really excited to grow. I also loved your video about overwhelm and I’m going to do those strategies. Thank you so much ☺️
I'm so glad I found your channel. Its given me hope. You seem to understand and have empathy for the struggling. Thank you Dr Scott. I plan on viewing lots more from your channel.
Yeah, the last one is what my therapist also suggests to me. This is helpful because it does get me out of the rumination cycle, but it's terrifying because I'm learning how to do it while I have negative voices and anxiety going on in my head. I always feel like I'm competing and comparing myself to others, which also isn't helpful. But trying to focus more on the microsteps instead of the macro is another good way to reframe it
As usual, excellent advice. So thanks. You are so relatable and your voice is very easy to listen to. I've said it before, but want to repeat, I think that you are the only psychologist worth listening to on RUclips.
What about insecurities about your physique, which you cannot change?
I was never good a singing either. But at some point I was inspired to learn how to. I made sure I was in private places and started working at it regularly. I was really bad for about 2-3 years literally. But I did develop my voice and singing ability and I now actually enjoy singing and have no fear or anxiety about it.
I know it doesn't matter now since you're secure about them... but for we others who aren't, just know that there are people who like "sticky outy ears'. I'm one of them! My first love had them and I find them adorbs.
Also, LOVE the mucro goal recommendation. I've heard it before from J.B. Peterson about doing tasks but never thought to apply it to learning.
I have a very hard time with wanting to be up for the day. I know its depression, but i haven't been able to tolerate medication for it. So if you would be willing to do a video about how to want to get up and be up during the day to live life and strategies to use without medication that would be so lovely Dr. Scott? I feel like i am at the end of my rope ad to what to do. I want to switch my nights to days and start living. I am hoping that thats possible...thankyou again🌸🌈
I'm having the same. My meds are not designed for mental health & I shy away from an antidepressant even though after many deaths year after year very close to me for about 3 yrs I requested one. Well I never started. It expired. I know crazy isn't it?
I thought I need time to work thru this by first sleep exercise & diet. I still feel that. I'm disciplined on monitoring my own self plan of good health such as meds & vitiams taking trash out getting food yet I make endless plans notes daily monthly goals that never ever come to fruition. My expired antidepressant still stares at me & I will be discussing it with my primary. I was just afraid of it on some level. I kept thinking yea but you can stop it if it doesn't help. It so sucks that most do not understand the sleep issue even the so called gurus because they never talk about real truth at being awake all night til sun rise only to sleep in the day & sometimes that just doesn't work as things such as med appts bank etc need to be in traditional hours. At least I use to be productive at night but now I stare at the phone...poison. How old were you when you started doing this? Was it a job that switched things?
Thank you for sharing if you are ok with that. 😊
@sweetest247 can I ask what antidepressant you've been prescribed? I have Bipolar and Lithium has kept me well and continues to do so, no; it's kept me alive! There's no shame in taking a medicine for the brain. Sometimes diet and exercise aren't enough. I've had serious depression and it's a living hell. Antidepressants helped me. They're not the 'be all and end all' but sometimes your brain chemistry needs a helping hand. If you had diabetes you'd take insulin, 'no questions asked' antidepressants are no different - I don't know why there's this obsession to be med-free? If it helps, take it! I take Venlafaxine for anxiety disorder and have no desire to stop taking it; 'if its not broken, don't fix it!' It suits my brain; that and the lithium keep me 'above water'. I never want to get that low again, it was more frightening than psychosis (mania)!
Routine is something that helps too. If you want to switch from night to day you will have to force yourself to stay up during the day (to begin with) and sleep/ rest at night. I find gardening and decorating very mindful (not thinking about shit). There are lots of creative things you can do that will occupy your mind. Be kind to yourself, above all. Eliminate pressure and do things that bring about satisfaction; small steps to begin with. Set yourself a task, it can be ridiculously small, but do it! It takes time getting well, but don't give yourself an even harder time by trying to go 'med-free' when taking a pill or two a day, could make all the difference. When your serotonin levels are low, they take all your motivation away. Let us know how you get on. Antidepressants take around 3/4 weeks to kick in.
@@sweetest247 Hello, sorry for getting back so late to you now! It's been a slow emotional day. Life is complicated for me. But to answer your question this inability of mine to cope in life started quite young in my life. I didn't have a good birth story with getting 0 good stuff from my My Mom so I think alot of my problems are related to a bad gut. They say the serotonin we get for our brain comes from our gut.
And then I had an alcoholic parent which didn't help. I developed a lot of fear due to the uncertainty at home. Then later I was diagnosed with OCD and germ phobia. Then my sleep cycle starting going off the rails when I started to go through menopause and later the OCD got worse and I ended up being in the washroom all night washing my hands. So then the sleep thing just got to the point now where I am up til 5:30 in the morning and go to bed then and get up around 1 pm in the afternoon .
It's wrecking my immune system and causing more depression. I have taken antidepressants but now I either fall down and break bones or they cause me to have bladder issues when I take them. I took ciprilex which caused insomnia as well. I have taken most of the SSRIs plus clonazepam and lorazapam as well. I wish I knew what to do. How to fix or manage all of this. I so want to be up for the day. The interesting part is I haven't functioned or coped well since I quit smoking in my 20"s. Smoking seemed to help me deal with life. I can't go back to smoking nor do I want to do that. I just wish I could find something similar non hurtful way like the cigarettes to use to help with the coping and living part. Right now I am drinking espresso 1 cup to keep somewhat going. It's not perfect for course. Sorry for this long explanation...I wish I knew your real name... anyways I am glad you reached out to inquire about my journey!😊 It helps to know we are not alone in our struggles. Dr. Scott is fantastic. That's what he says that we have lots in common. He is helping me not to give up. I just feel so tired of this and fighting to keep going. I imagine you must feel the same way. ...
@@junegagnon6506
June how old are you now?
Were you ever married? Have children?
I ask because all these life events can as you know impact as well. That is why we look at other factors.
Yes the cigs do provide a quick sense of relief however you left that behind & only your thoughts say go back but physically you definitely made the right choice. Congrats!
Where do you reside in the US if you are from here?
Were you ever able to hold down a job? Any volunteer work?
Do you have a denomination?
Since medical & meds are an extra added financial burden are you able to receive assistance?
I'm sorry. Life is so damn hard as we weave in & out. Our brains minds are much stronger than we often realize. I hope you don't mind the questions. 😊
@@sweetest247 Hello again! You are right many things do play a role and impact outcomes of functioning in our lives. I don't really feel too comfortable with sharing too many personal things about myself. I do have a faith though. Even though I find it hard to live life I know that from my reading and studying of the Bible that I have hope of a better life and future in a new world that God has promised to bring right here to this lovely planet. He is going to remove and replace earthly governments with his Kingdom rulership. So no more suffering , problem health and even doing away with death. He also promises we can build a house and get to live in it without worrying that someone will take it away from us. And since God does not lie all of us can rely truly on him since he is perfect. So what about you do you have a faith? Where do you go other than Dr.Scott for answers to big questions or concerns?
You're an inspiration, my friend.
I wish you'd do a video on overcoming Agoraphobia. I'm really getting stuck with mine and battling leaving home again. I'm not working at its hurting my marriage financially. 😢😢
But what if your insecurities are physical attributes like your nose, your lips, etc. This advice makes it seem like cosmetic surgery is the way to resolve those insecurities. My
What if your insecurity is based on your physical or aesthetic appearance and not something you can (reasonably) control or improve?
PLEASE use sub-titles!!! We really need it for those who cannot hear you well! Thank you!
Click on his picture then click on the little square with the cc. It will bring up the sub titles
This is very good, his explanation! I'm feeling down about the landlady. She's harassing me.
Thank you Dr Scott, this was really helpful 🙏
Thank you. Another seldom heard and supported topic.
9:15 You are going to be faced, not with your own insecurity, but with your own inadequacy.
Many of the situations that you describe of getting exposed are about one's inadequacy, which causes the insecurity: cover-ups of your inadequacy.
If you can take an honest self-appraisal, you can accept that you don't have some skills and you can learn those things to make yourself adequate in the areas you want to improve.
Insecurity/inadequacy is not always due to lack of skills! Some of us are disabled, or disfigured, or maybe just not very smart. And we feel immense shame, and insecurity.
Another great video
I love hearing your point of view on these topics!
Disassociate Identity Disorder and schizophrenia are mental prisons at time. It takes a lot energy to stay present and happy
Iam curious how a typical grandiose NPD person would react to this video? Any theories, Dr Eilers? Im genuinely curious what is going on in their head when they are confronted this way... Meaning, being talked at by someone who assumes they have an insecurity while they themselves are in absolute denial? or are they? Would love your input, thanks :)
Also PS really bravo for just being open and confident in sharing these vulnerable moments from your life, that is probably the best demonstration of how much you've grown in your confidence - being able to tell these stories from the past that used to be "embarassing". Honestly its not even embarassing! We are just so hard on ourselves and the society is a monstermonsmaking us.... Im a woman so I will never fully understand the struggles of men but I think I do to some extent get that pressure from the brotherhood you all encounter. I appreciate your vulnerability, men dont realize THAT is part of real manhood. Super proud of you for modeling that!! I hope more men make it to your channel!
I'm really confused. Why would you invest time learning about tools (presumably secretly to avoid shame?) in order to fit in? Did you actually want to learn mechanics? I think it's more important to really question why something is important to us. Lots of things were important to me, that I invested all my energy and time into, and ultimately it destroyed my health. Even though many of those things were health-related!
I foolishly retired,... became very insecure. ... caused depression.
It is very hard when you can't seem to communicate with others. Thats due to a Learning disability and possibly the difficulty of having Asperger's. I am very aware that i am not good at doing the talk and other things everyone else seems to know how to do . Its depressing and frustrating of course and it has led me to avoid people and situations like family gatherings, etc. So how do you learn this insecurity away when you have these deficiencies with how your brain works. I would love to be able to not be afraid of situations where i have to talk and converse with other people. And then it gets harder when you have nothing going on in your life to talk about...what do you do? I have basically given up ....
What if I am insecure that I am not lovable? How can I improve upon that 😂?
I gotta tell you, if you don't already know. Accept and embrace your weaknesses and eventually you loop the loop and they become your super powers. If you're like me, made of all the parts that everyone threw away, suddenly everyone is trying to take your cultivated weaknesses and hopefully you have the self love and fortitude to have stopped playing by their rules long ago. And when given an ultimatum, you further divide your hemispheres and expose the highly evolved reptile brain that is all they really want anyway, and the war is going on inside for the drivers seat. So don't favor any part of yourself over another, or rate or rank compete or vs. if you want to remain in control of your self that is.
Karra says I need to do some re-invention of my self....when i move back home.
Thank you
Okay but how does that work if I am insecure about my ears? Do I go to plastic surgery? There are things you can’t change. Or am I wrong?
I relate to so many of your videos. Out of curiousiry, do u have bpd ?
Hey Dr. Scott, really nice video ! I was wondering if I could help you with Best Quality Editing in your videos better than your Editor with good pricing and also make a highly engaging Thumbnail which will help your videos to reach to a wider audience ? Pls let me know what do you think ?
'Feel The Fear And Do It Anyway' by Susan Jeffries was a book that due to my ADHD I didnt get round to reading! But I've never forgotten the title and have used it on many occasions in the last 30+ years. Life isn't always comfortable. Personal growth always always involves pain to some degree or being uncomfortable at least - think of it as 'growing pains' but each time you stretch yourself it gets a little bit easier. It's like physical workout, the more you push yourself the more you can do. And the buzz you get when you 'feel the fear and do it anyway' is immense!
A note to the younger viewers, it does get easier, your confidence will get to the point you don't give a shit what other people think - trust me. Until then, blag it! Act! Make believe! Whatever you have to do to overcome your fears xxx
Some of us don't have a comfort zone.
what if you’re a young person (26, idk if you consider that young) who used to be confident and grew into self-hate and worthlessness? is there still hope for me? it feels like i’m getting worse every yr.
@AlexisTwoLastNames at 26 you're still a baby! I'm 53 and still blagging it! But I haven't given up. I didn't really begin to start knowing myself until I was in my thirties. These feelings of worthlessness, we're not born with them; they're put there - often by parents who feel inadequate as human beings. How dare they! How dare anyone make you feel or tell you you are worth nothing! We are made to feel like that by a parent who doesn't tell you your worth too. Neglect is just as damaging. My father did the former to me and my mother did the latter - consequently I went on to have 3 amazing children who DO KNOW THEIR WORTH! Sounds like you could do with getting yourself a lovely counsellor you can share your thoughts and feelings with (if you're in the UK, contact MIND - they're awesome and it's over the phone and you can refer yourself). Get 'the ball rolling' and begin to shed what others have put there. It won't happen 'overnight', there's no quick fix, but in time the 'real you' will begin to come through - a bit like a caterpillar that sheds its cocoon and unfolds into a beautiful butterfly 🦋. If these people are still in your life, or anyone that makes you feel 'less than' - GET RID! They serve no positive purpose. Start writing to yourself, write down your feelings, what has made you feel like that and what you're going to do to change that. At 26 you're just starting out, I kind of felt like that at 51 when I realised I had Borderline Personality Disorder! Sometimes it feels like one 'uphill battle' so you have to take each day as it comes, be kind to yourself, even be the parent you wished you'd had. It's sad when that's the case, I've been sad, but you grieve for a while then pick yourself up and move-on. Acknowledging your feelings is SO important; exploring the reasons behind them comes next, then LET GO! Free yourself! You can't change what has or hasn't happened but you don't have to carry the damage around with you all your life. Just remember though; feelings aren't facts! So just because you feel worthless it doesn't mean you are.
You're young, go out and have fun once in a while, enjoy yourself, live life! I recently went on 'SWARM' at Thorpe Park (UK) check it out on utube! Really frightening but great fun! Do stuff that makes you feel alive; life is for living! xxx
@@arabellacox i have a therapist. thanks for the message. i understand your sentiment, i just can’t feel it right now.
@@AlexisTwoLastNames medication?
How can your suggestion work if you are insecure about something you can’t change, like your ears (I don’t think your ears are big, btw)
But it only works with things you can change....
I request a video on mental disease where a person dose not react well to pressure situations
Yes, I would like that too. I just get overwhelmed when there is pressure put upon me. Then I get these mini breakdowns. I attribute it to the Asperger's.
Made up-fu 😂 I appreciated that one, it was not lost on me Dr
This one hit me where I live
Love your videos
What if you were insecure about your ears? How does that translate to some skill you can improve on? Besides trying to lie to yourself that you don't care.
Loved this
Good vid, bro.
this video made me feel horrible about myself
I think your ears look fine for what it's worth 👍
I learned about Korean culture, see ears that are big as being someone who is Highly Intelligent. They wish they had bigger ears.
I didn't even notice your ears until you mentioned it😏
So "Git gud gamer" is a legit strategy, nice 😂
I'm insecure about something I can't change and it's killing me inside
Oh Yeah, I totally am in an abusive relationship, with myself...
I'll keep watching before I say anything stupid
EDIT:
Yeah So. That's an interesting video and I do relate to your story as well. Due to mental health issues I also had a lot of topic and categories of things and actions that I was woefully incompetent at and have gradually grown better at.
Thing is I have had a bad memory for a while (might be due to stress really but hear me out...) and lately most things I try to learn I forget or can't focus on enough to really learn. It's been stressing me even more and I've been extremely insecure about almost Everything for the past couple of months.
I wish I could come out of that to actually take a step forward and learn the things I need to, but everytime I try I end up dissociating a bit and losing the little amount of knowledge I'm trying to absorb.
And I'm not going to just write words for tools, places, objects and other bobbles that I wish I knew in a notebook for hours everyday and hope to remember them when I need them in the hopes to overcome this situation.
Honestly I feel kinda desperate right now. like there's nothing I can do to help myself?
But I also know, I'm currently mentally exhausted by stress and I could totally Try your solution even if I don't believe in myself right now and it could probably work?
You probably already made a video that would be helpful for me in my current situation..?
overcompensating, like driving a 4x4 dually pickup with loud exhaust which won't see a speck of off road.
It’s me yes I’m the problems it’s me
He told us to 'git gud' chat D:
Nothing wrong with your ears, Bro'.
Tequila.
Guys a little too good looking actually 😂 i can get distracted and pacified by it and that's not healthy or effective. Love this channel though
You don’t have big ears and you didn’t look like an alien , these people , just criticizing whatever
how can i protect myself from alexandrova elena?
@@aliyaaliya3866 i want to help you you seem to comment on a lot of videos of him. where are you right now ?
#3 Imposter’s syndrome
I don't know how to start relationship until my 31😶🌫️
Damn Dr. Scott, I wish you wouldn't have mentioned your ears. Now I keep staring at your ears 😬
Maybe it's because i watch you on my tiny phone screen, but i dont think your ears look big. Ive never noticed them before.
Yea sure, improve the things you're insecure about.... get like 1000 procedures to not be happy with how I look
Your ears aren’t big btw. :-)
You don't even have big ears!!
Man you've got some big ears...
I never even noticed your ears. I seen big ears before, and yours are not 🙂
Every day I am trying so hard to be a Normal Human Being.
inside, I am dying and wanting to disappear 🫥
Thank you, your insight has been so helpful.