Bob Mortimer as Alistair the Estate Agent - full clips. From the series Monkey Trousers.

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  • @An_Arbitrary_Miscellany
    @An_Arbitrary_Miscellany 3 года назад +782

    This video has a lovely rectangular shape, which will come in handy when watching it on a screen device.

    • @scrappydoogal804
      @scrappydoogal804 3 года назад +17

      Sounds like Boris Johnson and his cronies, "I don't know "...excellent evasive answer!😄

    • @unbearifiedbear1885
      @unbearifiedbear1885 3 года назад +13

      My word, you're very pretty

    • @Surv1ve_Thrive
      @Surv1ve_Thrive 3 года назад +4

      Abitary sounds great! How long is it, is it around 15 minutes long approximately,?

    • @An_Arbitrary_Miscellany
      @An_Arbitrary_Miscellany 3 года назад +7

      @@Surv1ve_Thrive ... I don't know.

    • @leohowse7764
      @leohowse7764 3 года назад +5

      How many corners does the rectangle have?

  • @gabriellag2611
    @gabriellag2611 2 года назад +78

    The fact that this is the same joke throughout and yet sustains 15 minutes of material, consistently funny the whole time, is amazing. Bob's the champ. This always makes me smile.

    • @MistahJigglah
      @MistahJigglah 7 месяцев назад +4

      I would expect nothing less from a man who does his own dentistry.😅

    • @robert79051
      @robert79051 6 месяцев назад

      He don't know

  • @ChelseaKTBFFH-qm9gk
    @ChelseaKTBFFH-qm9gk 3 года назад +663

    I wonder if it has a kitchen island so you can do your own dentistry

    • @clairecadoux471
      @clairecadoux471 3 года назад +8

      The island is so you can have a holiday at home otherwise known as a Staycation. The island can easily be used as a holiday destination due to its size, and because it's raised you will feel warm.....

    • @hayleyjane6763
      @hayleyjane6763 3 года назад +8

      Haha. I saw that episode.

    • @BypassAdult1
      @BypassAdult1 3 года назад +19

      I don't know

    • @IanGarside
      @IanGarside 3 года назад +38

      The house comes with a lifetime supply of Fuji 9

    • @Surv1ve_Thrive
      @Surv1ve_Thrive 3 года назад +5

      @@IanGarside yes Fuji! :) secret ingredient to alot of kitchen island dentistry.

  • @booboo3560
    @booboo3560 3 года назад +583

    It’s sad that RUclips has a thumbs up, thumbs down, but no button for “I don’t know”

    • @frankiejennings9132
      @frankiejennings9132 3 года назад +4

      Yea really unlucky man

    • @sirds1548
      @sirds1548 3 года назад +6

      You know you don't actually HAVE to click either way!

    • @neverwhere1391
      @neverwhere1391 3 года назад +2

      😂😂😂😂😂😂

    • @bepitan
      @bepitan 3 года назад +3

      click up and then click down..

    • @skilliyay
      @skilliyay 2 года назад +6

      i don't know

  • @personalsigh
    @personalsigh 3 года назад +168

    When he replies "I don't know" to "you must be Alistair?" The timing made me laugh so hard I had to watch it and ten times in a row

  • @scottolsen3852
    @scottolsen3852 3 года назад +244

    Bob Mortimer is a mad genius.

    • @skilliyay
      @skilliyay 2 года назад +7

      i don't know

    • @PSUK
      @PSUK 2 года назад +2

      100%

    • @BionicRusty
      @BionicRusty Год назад +1

      Happy to give this comment it’s 200th 👍

  • @lloroshastar6347
    @lloroshastar6347 3 года назад +446

    I'm getting the vibe this was inspired by a real experience Bob probably had.

    • @garagefaff
      @garagefaff 3 года назад +48

      I don’t know

    • @molitovv
      @molitovv 3 года назад +6

      I don’t know.

    • @PSUK
      @PSUK 3 года назад +4

      I don’t know

    • @m.e.h.8304
      @m.e.h.8304 3 года назад +3

      I don't know.

    • @leeroy265
      @leeroy265 3 года назад +3

      I DONT KNOW

  • @nicksss1843
    @nicksss1843 3 года назад +95

    Look at all these comments with words! Words, of course, used by William Shakespeare to convey feelings which, I’m sure you’ll agree, actually give this comments section a lovely Elizabethan feeling.

    • @skilliyay
      @skilliyay 2 года назад +2

      i don't know

    • @PSUK
      @PSUK 2 года назад

      Ruff ruff.

  • @rachaelsas
    @rachaelsas 3 года назад +445

    All estate agents should have to wear that wig by law, why, I don’t know

    • @captinweestain526
      @captinweestain526 3 года назад +10

      I dont know about that

    • @jul30ie
      @jul30ie 3 года назад +8

      Both sexes

    • @benpalfrey6580
      @benpalfrey6580  3 года назад +24

      NowForTheTruth I’m an estate agent. This comment offends me. Does it really though? I don’t know. No, I really, really don’t know.

    • @seanmaher7733
      @seanmaher7733 3 года назад

      Exactly. Just to point out the idiocy, irrelevance and assininity of their 'trade.

    • @neverwhere1391
      @neverwhere1391 3 года назад

      😂😂😂😂😂😂

  • @donaldwebb
    @donaldwebb 3 года назад +112

    'An oak patina, very reminiscent of the onion.' Mortimer never loses his poetic skills

    • @skilliyay
      @skilliyay 2 года назад +5

      i don't know

    • @grizzlygrizzler8594
      @grizzlygrizzler8594 2 года назад +2

      I am sure a lot of it is off the cuff as well as loosely scripted. Biggest challenge would be not corpsing!

  • @elrondhubbard7059
    @elrondhubbard7059 2 месяца назад +2

    What I love about this video is that it only goes for fifteen minutes, so any existential dread I might have had by thinking that I'd be stuck here watching this for the rest of my life is completely negated.

  • @guthans
    @guthans 3 года назад +313

    The cupboards open outwards rather than inwards so your food doesn't get crushed.

  • @applepye87
    @applepye87 3 года назад +98

    If your son, for example, is studying geometry 🤣🤣🤣

  • @niamhoconnor8986
    @niamhoconnor8986 3 года назад +307

    I don't know, but look at this comment section, it has a lot of text which gives it literary ambience.

    • @molitovv
      @molitovv 3 года назад +3

      My word, you’re very pretty!

    • @JoeGallantChurchComms
      @JoeGallantChurchComms 3 года назад +3

      I don’t know.

    • @niamhoconnor8986
      @niamhoconnor8986 3 года назад +7

      @@molitovv I don't know

    • @andysedgley
      @andysedgley 3 года назад +11

      Indeed, the spacious airy quality of the atmosphere in this comment lends a garden feel don't you think, or "jardiniere" as they may say in other comments.

    • @Surv1ve_Thrive
      @Surv1ve_Thrive 3 года назад +7

      The comments section does come ready equipped with letters, assembled into words, structured into sentences. Which could be useful for a student, say, learning a modern language.

  • @unbearifiedbear1885
    @unbearifiedbear1885 3 года назад +58

    _"Its a "triple height" room - well, if you're a child, for sure..."_
    😂

  • @Harmonical1
    @Harmonical1 3 года назад +67

    What is funnier than Bob pretending to be an estate agent, is the fact that in real life he used to be a solicitor - honest!

    • @craigchristian344
      @craigchristian344 2 года назад +14

      And represented Jarvis Cocker when he mooned Jacko at the Brits

    • @skilliyay
      @skilliyay 2 года назад +3

      i don't know

  • @simonknott224
    @simonknott224 3 года назад +38

    This guy is an absolute genius. And I love his series with Paul Whitehouse , Gone Fishing. Just the sort of programme we need on TV in these dark, shitty days .

    • @skilliyay
      @skilliyay 2 года назад +4

      i don't know

    • @johnmartinez7440
      @johnmartinez7440 2 года назад

      @@skilliyay This joke was already overused before you spammed it under every other comment on this video.

    • @skilliyay
      @skilliyay 2 года назад +4

      @@johnmartinez7440 I don't know

    • @mhrgall
      @mhrgall 2 года назад

      @@skilliyay what a knob.

    • @lukerogers151
      @lukerogers151 Год назад +2

      ​@@johnmartinez7440 I don't know

  • @andyb2830
    @andyb2830 3 года назад +173

    "you can see the chimneys, they're made of stoooone"
    *Camera pans to chimney made of bricks*

    • @La_sagne
      @La_sagne 3 года назад +1

      bricks can be called stones

    • @skilliyay
      @skilliyay 2 года назад +3

      i don't know

    • @johnmartinez7440
      @johnmartinez7440 2 года назад +2

      @@La_sagne Not really though.

    • @thomaschristopher1513
      @thomaschristopher1513 Год назад +1

      ​@@La_sagne you can call them clouds, it doesn't make them clouds

  • @Music-tg5is
    @Music-tg5is 2 года назад +6

    The way he says "I don't know" so confidently is very disarming and discombobulates the mind.

  • @moosemoss2645
    @moosemoss2645 3 года назад +58

    “Which should serve as a constant reminder on the danger of snakes.” Howling here.

  • @MrBoggins1234
    @MrBoggins1234 Год назад +4

    "Bedroom Massiffe" 🤣

  • @natureisallpowerful
    @natureisallpowerful 2 года назад +8

    The cupboards open outwards so it doesn't crush your food..hilario

  • @emilygilbeyful
    @emilygilbeyful 3 года назад +37

    Oak patina very reminiscent of an onion. Gives the kitchen a lovely savoury feel 😂😂

    • @molitovv
      @molitovv 3 года назад +1

      My word, you’re very pretty.

    • @Surv1ve_Thrive
      @Surv1ve_Thrive 3 года назад +3

      I dont know.

    • @emilygilbeyful
      @emilygilbeyful 3 года назад +1

      @@Surv1ve_Thrive I'm gonna start responding to simple questions like this with no explanation haha

    • @Surv1ve_Thrive
      @Surv1ve_Thrive 3 года назад +1

      @@emilygilbeyful I watched the sketches years ago, so I often do or have to hold myself back from doing it. 99% of people dont understand. :)
      Bob's podcast Athletico Mince is pretty funny too. Lots of loony characters.

    • @emilygilbeyful
      @emilygilbeyful 3 года назад +1

      @@Surv1ve_Thrive I also use Vic reeves quote "quite a boast" when people complain about something wierd and it always makes me laugh 😂

  • @sandythompson1002
    @sandythompson1002 3 года назад +33

    @4:16 "that's the sky up there" 😂

  • @Surv1ve_Thrive
    @Surv1ve_Thrive 3 года назад +95

    The comments section does come ready equipped with letters, assembled into words, structured into sentences. Which could be useful for a student, say, learning a modern language.

    • @ColinIngus1
      @ColinIngus1 3 года назад +6

      @Nick Thorp Would it be applicable for somebody who may be learning mandarin?

    • @Surv1ve_Thrive
      @Surv1ve_Thrive 3 года назад +11

      @@ColinIngus1 I don't know

    • @mikeynma
      @mikeynma 3 года назад

      Dog dirt...

    • @susannamarker2582
      @susannamarker2582 3 года назад +3

      To be honest Nick, I don't know.

    • @skilliyay
      @skilliyay 2 года назад +1

      i don't know

  • @jonnylons1
    @jonnylons1 3 года назад +31

    I crack up every time he says “I don’t know” ...it’s always either that or lies from estate agents...

    • @skilliyay
      @skilliyay 2 года назад

      i don't know

    • @AirQuotes
      @AirQuotes 2 года назад

      And this isn't even a joke. This is just secret footage from a real viewing 🤣

  • @zzginigzz
    @zzginigzz 3 года назад +55

    this is the exterior of the property, you are no longer in the building.

  • @andreanwandrean
    @andreanwandrean 3 года назад +28

    *Me looking at the thumbnail*: Huh that guy doesnt look like Bob Mortimer
    *As soon as he open his mouth*: Yep thats Bob Mortimer

  • @followtheboat
    @followtheboat 3 года назад +37

    Refreshing to find an honest estate agent.

  • @theseshisneverover6472
    @theseshisneverover6472 3 года назад +36

    An estate agents favourite phrase. “I don’t know, but I’ll find out” I should know I was one

  • @musicalmarion
    @musicalmarion 3 года назад +8

    I particularly admired the way the doors opened and closed as required

  • @clairebell3328
    @clairebell3328 2 года назад +11

    Bob Mortimer is a genius,, so funny,, 😂 I remember watching this back in the day

  • @johnlarn9381
    @johnlarn9381 3 года назад +34

    Genius at work

  • @notdrivingaminimetro
    @notdrivingaminimetro 3 года назад +165

    At least he admits he doesn't know. Estate Agents in my experience just bullshit their way through

    • @TheBenzer9
      @TheBenzer9 3 года назад +6

      The answer he gives means he dosnt want to discuss lol

    • @NickBFTD
      @NickBFTD 3 года назад +3

      100% lol

    • @skilliyay
      @skilliyay 2 года назад +1

      i don't know

    • @sarac.3259
      @sarac.3259 2 года назад

      But then later he asks what they are looking for. And then agrees with whatever they say. Classic.

    • @AirQuotes
      @AirQuotes 2 года назад +1

      I went to see a home a few weeks ago and they really did answer with "I don't know" to almost every question I asked.

  • @MrMisanthrope84
    @MrMisanthrope84 2 года назад +7

    "That's the sky up there" burst out laughing

  • @wheelerd02
    @wheelerd02 3 года назад +27

    "Do come out outside, for this is in fact The Outside"

  • @levimcglinchey5843
    @levimcglinchey5843 3 года назад +35

    Dinosaurs, otters, that sort of thing.

  • @dbabs1558
    @dbabs1558 3 года назад +13

    Asks a question “I don’t know”! 😆 I wish Bob was my best friend it seems he would be so much fun 🥰

  • @rickewilde
    @rickewilde 3 года назад +8

    😄😄perfectly observed.
    The " i don't know" just got funnier each time.

  • @JoeMoreg
    @JoeMoreg 2 года назад +5

    "That's the sky up there"

  • @MrBaronCabron
    @MrBaronCabron 2 года назад +5

    I love whenever Bob says "cobra". He uses it sparingly but it always pops me. You can also tell Bob probably corpsed when he said "I haven't the foggiest" as it's edited a bit weird but he did it again because he probably loved the idea of saying it. (my head canon anyway haha)

  • @katiedales582
    @katiedales582 Год назад +4

    This is the exact way that estate agents speak! What do they actually do anyway?!😂

  • @mrrock6248
    @mrrock6248 Год назад +3

    Robert Renwick Mortimer underrated comic genius!

  • @winkblue6851
    @winkblue6851 3 года назад +13

    Omg, his character should cameo on stath let's flats

  • @davidsmeath4556
    @davidsmeath4556 2 года назад +2

    Spot on portrayal of estate agents who talk incessantly but without saying anything. Nice to see Paul Nicholas and Jan Francis too!

  • @CyberBeep_kenshi
    @CyberBeep_kenshi 2 года назад +3

    I am so glad the cupboards open outwards 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

  • @lisamgreenleaf
    @lisamgreenleaf 3 года назад +33

    This is spot on. I hate estate agents. "Is there a garage? Are the white goods included? Are pets allowed?"
    "I don't know. My colleague looks after this property. Can you pay a deposit now as we have 12 people interested. We close in half an hour"

    • @skilliyay
      @skilliyay 2 года назад +1

      i don't know

    • @johnmartinez7440
      @johnmartinez7440 2 года назад +3

      Letting agents are generally the worst, but I've found dealing with solicitors and the actual vendors far more irritating than any estate agent. "Can you answer these queries about the property you own?" "I don't know."

    • @Adeleisha
      @Adeleisha Год назад +1

      @@johnmartinez7440 tell me about it. Vendor scrawling, ‘Sold as seen’ on every answer on the property information form… 🤦🏻‍♀️ FFS, it’s not a secondhand wardrobe…

  • @ScottWilson-dy6qn
    @ScottWilson-dy6qn 3 года назад +10

    I was ... I was so waiting for him to mention one of his many famous friends such as Barbara Lighthouse or Barry * Snipers Dream * 😂😂😂😂😂😂

  • @stevec6427
    @stevec6427 3 года назад +22

    To be honest, he's better than any estate agent I've used

  • @jon4324
    @jon4324 6 месяцев назад

    It's actually quite refreshing to see an estate agent that knows this much about a property they're trying to sell. I've never come across one this knowledgeable.

  • @TarAlanshori
    @TarAlanshori 3 года назад +5

    I never realize Bob looks like Martin Freeman till this video

  • @rulsey23
    @rulsey23 2 года назад

    Lol this is great. A lot more helpful than most

  • @iamchris1000
    @iamchris1000 3 года назад +5

    The video has a great red bar that grows longer and then stops, which in turn transforms the two parallel vertical lines on the left into a triangle. nice.

  • @MrBlazer3585
    @MrBlazer3585 2 года назад +3

    Why do we love Bob Mortimer...."I don't know!"

  • @TheNavyseamonkey
    @TheNavyseamonkey 8 месяцев назад +3

    I once had and estate agent tell me that he didn't just sell houses he sold dreams.
    Then couldn't answer any of my questions about the house build or heating or anything as a matter of fact.
    Paid door openers

  • @atrumluminarium
    @atrumluminarium 2 года назад +36

    The outside of the house is a good candidate for a right game of theft and shrubbery tbh

  • @Rich.Newell
    @Rich.Newell 3 года назад +13

    Paul Nicholas and Jan Francis in consecutive sketches, now that's class.

    • @runlarryrun77
      @runlarryrun77 2 года назад +2

      Alright Penn? - I don't know...!

    • @skilliyay
      @skilliyay 2 года назад

      i don't know

    • @saraarmistead2352
      @saraarmistead2352 Год назад

      it's also the actress from Dempsey &Makepeace

    • @BionicRusty
      @BionicRusty Год назад

      @@saraarmistead2352 Glynis Barber 💕🥰

  • @TheWizzels
    @TheWizzels 3 года назад +5

    I don't know how Bob does it... I even love him as an estate agent?!!?

  • @kc8923
    @kc8923 3 года назад +5

    Watching Bob in his 60s now, funny to see him years ago

  • @kenpudsey6435
    @kenpudsey6435 3 года назад

    I didn't know about this..it's superb!

  • @Dr.UldenWascht
    @Dr.UldenWascht 3 года назад +47

    You can be certain a house is free of cockroaches when it is being sold to you by their king!

  • @gedofgont1006
    @gedofgont1006 2 года назад +1

    "Bedroom massif!"
    Who wouldn't want one?🤣🤣

  • @pbzp
    @pbzp 3 года назад +7

    I'd just like to give huge props to all the actors involved in this video aside from Bob Mortimer, for somehow not laughing

    • @pbzp
      @pbzp 3 года назад

      I don't know how they didn't

  • @MecchaKakkoi
    @MecchaKakkoi 3 года назад +3

    Some early train guy vibe when he's on the phone there! :D

  • @modmutha8608
    @modmutha8608 3 года назад +2

    There is a play button on the video which comes in handy for watching it and it has sound so you can hear it which is a real feature for those of u wanting to watch and hear the video

  • @liamflinders7683
    @liamflinders7683 3 года назад +26

    This is the original Barry Homeowner

  • @MikeKleinsteuber
    @MikeKleinsteuber 3 года назад +4

    How true to life. Brilliant

  • @MyraMarks
    @MyraMarks 3 года назад +10

    "That's the sky up there."

  • @neverwhere1391
    @neverwhere1391 3 года назад +1

    Funny video, funny comments-I have been instantly cheered up. 🌟🙆

  • @animatiz
    @animatiz 2 года назад +10

    I like how his accent suddenly changes to extremely snobby a third of the way through 😂

  • @Surv1ve_Thrive
    @Surv1ve_Thrive 3 года назад +5

    @7:00 Roland Riveron! He's another brilliant, natural comedian.

  • @streetsoundselectro124
    @streetsoundselectro124 Год назад +1

    the hello Alistair she says to him and he replies...i dont know,the lads as mad as a box of frogs!but a real funny fella.

  • @AirQuotes
    @AirQuotes 2 года назад +3

    How is this so incredibly accurate 😂

  • @tl1850
    @tl1850 Год назад +1

    So truthful about estate agents. They're the biggest liars and will say anything in order to con you out your hard earned cash.

  • @WinChun78
    @WinChun78 3 года назад +15

    It's like Kevin The Teenager when he's grown up...

  • @Christianlee14
    @Christianlee14 3 года назад +5

    Bob Mortimer is a genius

  • @moominmay
    @moominmay 3 года назад +7

    Alistair would make a great QVC presenter lol

  • @krakmanski
    @krakmanski Год назад +2

    I bought a house recently and this was the estate agents general reply: "I don't know!!!"

  • @martyntanton5756
    @martyntanton5756 3 года назад

    Fantastic!

  • @myfriendbro
    @myfriendbro 3 года назад +1

    Man this is gold

  • @surfhousesrilanka756
    @surfhousesrilanka756 3 года назад +10

    The whole thing is genius, so much detail. Particularly like when they ask where the river goes and he’s so happy to be able to answer -“that way goes all the way that way and that way goes all the way this way”
    Having also just told them the property is about a 9th of an acre which if they didn’t know is about the same size as kwikfit.

  • @alicehammond7438
    @alicehammond7438 3 года назад +13

    A fruit salady feel 😂

  • @dr2stroke611
    @dr2stroke611 3 года назад +7

    little fact about this - they had both the main characters from the 1980's program 'Just Good Friends' as the house viewers. Would have been even better had they had them looking at the same property

    • @Kazza_8240
      @Kazza_8240 3 года назад

      I didn't realise till I read your comment, thanks 😁✌🏻

    • @skilliyay
      @skilliyay 2 года назад

      i don't know

  • @ellenh9381
    @ellenh9381 2 года назад +1

    “That’s the sky up there.” 😂😜

  • @Miss_Toots
    @Miss_Toots Год назад

    as a palfreyman....I love your content x

  • @funkdoubt1
    @funkdoubt1 2 года назад +1

    The exact experience I had , every time!
    Nonsense rules!

  • @dringypie
    @dringypie 3 года назад +109

    How the hell would people only know him as the train guy? This has athletico mince Barry homeowner vibes all over it

  • @sadstormtrooper
    @sadstormtrooper 3 года назад +7

    Why does he look so much like Martin Freeman in this?

  • @TheStevenWhiting
    @TheStevenWhiting 5 месяцев назад

    Watch his first Richard Herring interview. When he used to be a solicitor he gave a couple a house, for free, because he forgot to get them to sign the forms for the morgage. He sent a friend round the next day to pretend he needed something else signed.

  • @luckyswine
    @luckyswine 3 года назад

    Every time he says I don't know....😂

  • @sarac.3259
    @sarac.3259 2 года назад +1

    _It's absolutely vast for what is essentially a tiny property._ Total estate agent speak.

  • @mhrgall
    @mhrgall 2 года назад +1

    ''I don't know'' (said 1 million times). ''I do hope that has been useful!'' lol

  • @jamesgreen9611
    @jamesgreen9611 2 года назад +1

    Utter Gibberish- the man’s a genius 🙏

  • @Joanna7428
    @Joanna7428 2 месяца назад

    Bob Mortimer is Bonkers and adorable.

  • @Jaunt1able
    @Jaunt1able 3 года назад +2

    “That’s the sky up there”

  • @j0nnyism
    @j0nnyism Год назад +2

    I managed to hold onto a job for three years basically doing this. Tip ; always let the seller value the house. And yes there is always six or seven or eight or nine people expressing an interest. Saying “nice feature” and pointing at things also helps

  • @edwardspencer-small7021
    @edwardspencer-small7021 3 года назад +10

    Jamie Demetriou must have taken a lot of influence from this.

  • @springdayyx
    @springdayyx 3 года назад +2

    Now I really need him to do Barry Homeowner in real life 😂

  • @MrDalevich
    @MrDalevich 3 года назад +8

    Mrs Pearson? Of the Brass hand oil Pearsons? I hope so, mines squeaking like a hamster being slowly compressed by its own wheel as a guest mouse relentlessly rotates it.
    Do you remember hamsters? When the school made you look after em? Theyre all dead now....breaks your heart.

  • @jazp1120
    @jazp1120 3 года назад

    I love a bar d’etat dejeuner, a sugary ambience is a plus and more than that I adore Bobby’s wig. Oh gosh ...and...are they just good friends those buyers ?