How To Be A Good Friend: Early Buddhist Teachings On Friendship
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- Опубликовано: 10 июл 2024
- Friendship was very important in early Buddhism. I'll discuss what the Buddha had to say about friendship, as well as some key differences between true and false friends.
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✅ Video mentioned:
Superiority of Solitude in Early Buddhism: The Rhinoceros Sutta - • Superiority of Solitud...
✅ Suttas and Vinaya passage mentioned:
suttacentral.net/dhp157-166/e...
suttacentral.net/sn45.2/en/su...
suttacentral.net/snp1.3/en/su...
suttacentral.net/an7.36/en/su...
suttacentral.net/dn31/en/sujato
www.accesstoinsight.org/tipit...
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00:00 Intro
01:30 Importance of friendship
04:00 What makes a good friend?
06:08 Friendship in a lay context
09:30 Rarity of true friendship
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I also think it is worth reflecting on why friendships are often not quite up to the ideal, the obvious point that nothing and nobody is perfect aside.
The interesting point is that the friends we encounter are enduring dukkha as well. If we understand this, and the shared experience we realise when practicing, then we can see that our own attitudes and skillful means profoundly influence our friends; the relationship could even be considered symbiotic. Perfecting practice and living the dharma every minute we remember to can gain and improve friendships immeasurably.
Yes very important points! Sometimes kindness can shade over into compassion too.
Remember to also look at this from the side of "How can I be a true friend?"
Great point!
That verse 165 of the Dhammapada is great, I wish more people had ears that could hear it. So many are seeking purification from outside of themselves, even one of my biggest personal things to overcome, is the feeling like I am lacking something. I especially like the bit about true friends, I feel blessed to know I have had true friends in life. Even if we do not still associate frequently, coming back to a true friend even after 10 years is like returning to kinsfolk after having been gone on a long journey. Community is important, isolation has had such a bad effect, why does society seek to alienate us in so many ways?
Good points, Doug. True friendship is such a treasure in this life. It is indeed rare and, like anything else, conditioned by one's karma.
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Very interesting subject, Doug! 🐱🙏
For a long time I've underestimated the importance - or at least the helpfulness - of a "dharma-friend". Now I'm very grateful and glad that I have at least one on the other side of the world. Since I'm living in a very rural area without any people who might be interested in Buddhist practice, without monasteries or centers, I have to resort to modern technology in order to communicate and keep contact, but that's better than nothing. 😅
Yes! True for many of us, I imagine.
I love the teachings on friendship as it makes the path very clear.
Inner development is all well and good, but it is in the presence of others where the real work is done.
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Thank you Doug. You are a good Dharma friend to us all.
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It's really quite hard to define friendship. It comes in many flavours. I'm 75 and I'd say I only have one 'true' friend, someone who will see me through thick and thin without question, and vice versa. I have other 'friends' in all shades of that word. And I agree that often, it can be better to take life's journeyon your own than have a false friend who is undermining you surreptitiously or doesn't really have your best interests at heart. My close, lifelong friend, is not Buddhist, she is a staunch Roman Catholic Christian but we can make way for each other's faith views without falling out about them. Our views often don't match up in this regard, with very differing ideas of what's 'good' for us. But that makes no difference to us. I don't think we are based on attachment but it's an excellent point Doug and I look forward to your next video on that topic.
Wonderful, even one true friend can be enough. 🙏
Thank you for wonderful video
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I don’t know how you do it Doug, I was just thinking about this subject a day or so a go. It’s like magic you seem come up
with a talk just when I need it. Thanks again sir for your service and wonderful talks.☸️🙏🤔👍
Great, glad to hear it was useful for you!
Great topic, a video on the view of the buddha on romantic love and mariage in lay people would be great, same with childrens in lay people families
Yes I'll put it on the list, though there isn't a whole lot on that topic, I'll have to see. Meanwhile I did this related video awhile back: ruclips.net/video/ttMCe-Nhan0/видео.html
@@DougsDharma nice ty !
Ananda is my favorite ❤
Yes, he’s wonderful. I did a video on him awhile back.
Hard tô find friends...
True friends are hard to find but you can make that easier by being one.
Yes, particularly for those of us who are more introverted. Still, there are things we can do, as these great comments suggest!
Very good video my friend !
Thank you! Cheers!
Thanks Doug 🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼 when i reflect on my teenage years back in the dark ages, i reflect on the projections and so on and how I'd identified and how it coloured my perception in adverse ways
Thanks for sharing! 🙏😊
This is one of my favourite teachings from the World-Honoured One. Good and faithful friends who attain this standard however are hard to come by these days of superficial relationships. It's been a while since I commented, hope you have been well Doug 🙏
Thank you, and thanks for commenting! Be well. 🙏😊
Great video to remind people to stop wasting their time with terrible "friends" and to focus all energy on true friends. Life is soooo much easier when you focus on the true friends :)
Well said!
Thank you Doug!
My pleasure!
Hold the space then put the kettle on
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Nobody expects the dhamma Inquisition! Our chief weapon is surprise... surprise and fear... fear and surprise... Our two weapons are fear and surprise... 12 fold kamma reckoning and it's fruit ...._- kamma to be experienced here and now and all the rest- Our three weapons are moral shame, and moral dread and patience... and an almost fanatical devotion to the suttas... Our four... no... Amongst our weapons... Amongst our weaponry... are such elements as fear, shame... I'll come in again
READ all about it at Dhamma Wheel not dhamma spins a downfall!
Who are the Suttavadins? The dark truth
What is Dhamma Wheel
spins a fall
into the abyss
of no bliss
where mara calls
and Good dhamma
falls
~Sarahaa the Archer
Ha! Monty Python fan I see! 😄
ah, yes, however
deeper than that
would be best!
Aristophanes revealed the truth
in satire plays
and a book
when you read
Dhamma Wheel thread
it will unravel your bed
why the sky full of chemtrails in the back, that is Mara 2.0
Contrails, short for "condensation trails," are the visible line-shaped clouds formed by water vapor freezing around particles in aircraft exhaust in the upper atmosphere.