These are mine: 1. Say that again so that everyone can hear. 2. Was that supposed to be helpful? 3. Did that make you feel good? 4. Why did you say that? 5. What does that mean? 6. That’s rude. When someone says I xyz, but…. I follow up with “anything before but is bullshit. You said what you meant.” People don’t fk with me.
Kara, I absolutely love your videos! This is so useful, and would've helped me that one time a "friend" of mine (not anymore), called me a "weak link" in front of our peers. It surprised me and I didn't know how to respond, especially since it was completely uncalled for and she said it out of the blue. I believe she was just venting her stress at that moment, and I could've called her out and clarified what her intention was. I'll definitely apply this going forward.
I like your channel. It's amazing. Directly to describe how this world is with accuracy. Savage people will be doing things like that. To analysis them is interesting. To find a way to fight back is wonderful.
The problem is that being nice and respectful doesn't always help against toxic people. Especially if they are control freaks or they simply hate you for some reason (even if you don't know why). Simply adres the behaviour towards the manager and tell them that if nothing changes you start ignoring the said employee. Then actually don't react to things, they don't exist and your work day is fine. They are not your problem. Reward them by doing as they say when they ask nicely and if they act horrendous start ignoring them. This will make it fester because they don't get the reaction they are looking for. The nuclear option (which i did today) is tell them you are ignoring them due to their behaviour. The employee in question started being verbally abusive (digitally) and then took the rest of the day off. Informed my manager after the situation and i will see how it unfolds. I didn't like doing it, but it does work. And if you pester someone day after day after day, someone will figure out a way to deal with you. Showed the manager the messages she send where her abusive behaviour was visible and that others have seen the toxic behaviour. The lesson is, don't take a toxic persons shit. You are an adult employee and as an adult you don't always have to play nice with people that are incapable of such behaviour. Ignoring someone's existence is an intimidating move, that will throw of most people. Nothing is more concerning to someone with an ego to not have the ego validated and getting silence in return which scares insecure people. And if you lay your ground work by collecting evidence, addressing the behaviour beforehand multiple times towards management, you show the most important thing. That you are not to be messed with and that their behaviour will get them in trouble. I've stopped taking shit from toxic people at some point, and you'll come across them and you'll have to deal with them. This can be a proces of months a thick skin and a lot of patience. They'll either get in line and behave themselves or you can crush their ego's, which their negative behaviour feeds. If you don't feed the negative behaviour, most of these people's fragile ego's implode and they start making irrational moves. Their behaviour will become evident and it will come back to haunt them. Try it, it works.
- ‘ I feel offended by what you just said. Was it your attention. Reply from the toxic person - ‘ I am sorry for how you feel’ Alternatives reply ‘ you took my words out of consent’ ‘ you are too sensitive ‘ ‘ you are not listening’ ‘ it was constructive feedback ‘- even it was BS. ‘ I can’t responsibility for your feelings. This is your perception of being hurt that is not true’ The point is, a toxic person will win as long as one polite with them. The remark ‘ How I feel ‘would immediate put you in a weaker position.
Oh yes! I like the phrase 5: I don’t appreciate such behavior. Usually, I say something like: “I noticed you are triggered with some things I’m doing. If we can’t solve it out between us, I will share this with my manager how I can help you in it.” 😊 And, they change behavior, even they are becoming so nice that you can notice it’s fake 😀
@@kararonin I was thinking more task related; missing an important deadline, an oversight in completing a task that ended up being an important omission, choosing what ends up being a wrong priority to have focused on when something else proves to have been the higher priority. Short articles when researching this say similar things.. be truthful, tell your leadership right away, everyone makes mistakes, it can make you better, etc. But I would like to hear anything you might have to add. Thank you. Love all your videos.
@@Rd-oi7vg thanks for the clarification. I'll have a think about how I can give a different angle on this. It might be a while before I publish this idea though.
I really love your videos, Mrs. Ronin! All of them are great videos and extremely inspiring for me. Unfortunately, I have a coworker exactly like that way you describe. Extremely toxic. Very pedant. I discovered that this sort of person feels superior than others, so try to show it that its behaviour is inappropriate is a waste of time. What do I do to manage a such situation? I answer it with only uh-huhs, okays or simply with the purest silence like if no one was there by my side. A holy medicine ;)
Great question! It's different with your boss. I would be careful about publicly use these statements to them (ie, in meetings in front of the team). If they are regularly being rude to you, I recommend you, at first, discuss in private with them. As a second step, you can talk to HR about your situation. It's more difficult when it's your boss. Just make sure you're always professional when you are addressing/talking about this to them.
Hi Kara, i had a meeting yesterday where a colleague say something untrue. I did not react since I dont want discussion. I still cant move on and feel really bad. Can i react via email to her even though it happened already one day ago?
Definitely! Sometimes it's better to respond in private rather than in front of other colleagues. If you can have a conversation with this person rather than email, that is better. But if email is the only option, that is fine too.
Hi Kara, I love your energy, is Nelson from Penguin Employee, I would love to collaborate and interview you, I am based in the UK, please feel free to get in touch
I disagree. You never let ppl know how it makes you feel. You stay away from toxic coworkers. This advice just makes them more happy that they got to you. This is not good advice.
Letting people know how you feel, and non-threatening way will educate other people how they are, statements, affects them and going forward other human beings. I don’t want to approach the world as if it’s so scary and unfair.
Not necessarily at our office it has helped expose toxic employee and helped bring a sense of unity amongst the others that weren't toxic. It doesn't change the person from being toxic beautiful it does help when documenting experiences that can be brought to HR to highlight a person's toxic behavior and lead to Corrective action. They will either quit or get fired.
These are mine:
1. Say that again so that everyone can hear.
2. Was that supposed to be helpful?
3. Did that make you feel good?
4. Why did you say that?
5. What does that mean?
6. That’s rude.
When someone says I xyz, but….
I follow up with “anything before but is bullshit. You said what you meant.”
People don’t fk with me.
Thank you so much
Im screen shifting as I have to go into Wk tommrow and see this One woman 🤨😳😖 who can’t stand me try’s to embarrass me all the time
I think those responses are very professional. They confront the toxic coworker, but don’t bring you down to their level of aggression.
Kara, I absolutely love your videos! This is so useful, and would've helped me that one time a "friend" of mine (not anymore), called me a "weak link" in front of our peers. It surprised me and I didn't know how to respond, especially since it was completely uncalled for and she said it out of the blue. I believe she was just venting her stress at that moment, and I could've called her out and clarified what her intention was. I'll definitely apply this going forward.
You have to be ruthless with people like that, those polite answers will only make them laugh
You are AWESOME Miss Kara!!!
It’s a huge pleasure to watch your videos!!!
Thankyou for sharing.These come in handy,for those insufferable people who walk amongst us.🙂
Oh yes!
Love this, much needed! Thank you!
I'm glad it was helpful!
Watch this video to make sure you're not a toxic boss! ruclips.net/video/S7X1KCqGzBI/видео.html
I like your channel. It's amazing. Directly to describe how this world is with accuracy.
Savage people will be doing things like that. To analysis them is interesting.
To find a way to fight back is wonderful.
These can not only be effective at work but with inlaws and family members
Yep, or just assholes in general!
Brilliant. I love how practical these tips are. Thank you!
This is great Kara, practical information for developing these sorts of soft skills is very helpful and lacking from many creators 👍👍👍
Thank you so much Jared!
Wonderful insight.😊
Thank you!
The problem is that being nice and respectful doesn't always help against toxic people. Especially if they are control freaks or they simply hate you for some reason (even if you don't know why). Simply adres the behaviour towards the manager and tell them that if nothing changes you start ignoring the said employee. Then actually don't react to things, they don't exist and your work day is fine. They are not your problem. Reward them by doing as they say when they ask nicely and if they act horrendous start ignoring them. This will make it fester because they don't get the reaction they are looking for. The nuclear option (which i did today) is tell them you are ignoring them due to their behaviour. The employee in question started being verbally abusive (digitally) and then took the rest of the day off. Informed my manager after the situation and i will see how it unfolds. I didn't like doing it, but it does work. And if you pester someone day after day after day, someone will figure out a way to deal with you.
Showed the manager the messages she send where her abusive behaviour was visible and that others have seen the toxic behaviour. The lesson is, don't take a toxic persons shit. You are an adult employee and as an adult you don't always have to play nice with people that are incapable of such behaviour. Ignoring someone's existence is an intimidating move, that will throw of most people. Nothing is more concerning to someone with an ego to not have the ego validated and getting silence in return which scares insecure people. And if you lay your ground work by collecting evidence, addressing the behaviour beforehand multiple times towards management, you show the most important thing. That you are not to be messed with and that their behaviour will get them in trouble. I've stopped taking shit from toxic people at some point, and you'll come across them and you'll have to deal with them. This can be a proces of months a thick skin and a lot of patience. They'll either get in line and behave themselves or you can crush their ego's, which their negative behaviour feeds. If you don't feed the negative behaviour, most of these people's fragile ego's implode and they start making irrational moves. Their behaviour will become evident and it will come back to haunt them. Try it, it works.
toxic coworker is one of biggest problems in workplace. You got a good job, good company but you work with some toxic people and they ruin it all.
- ‘ I feel offended by what you just said. Was it your attention.
Reply from the toxic person
- ‘ I am sorry for how you feel’
Alternatives reply
‘ you took my words out of consent’
‘ you are too sensitive ‘
‘ you are not listening’
‘ it was constructive feedback ‘- even it was BS.
‘ I can’t responsibility for your feelings. This is your perception of being hurt that is not true’
The point is, a toxic person will win as long as one polite with them.
The remark ‘ How I feel ‘would immediate put you in a weaker position.
And if you ask someone if they intended on it, no one in a work environment will say yes to that, of course they will deny that.
They’ll deny it then double down on their toxicity
thank you and we appreciate all the advise esp me been a relatively new manager🙌
That's fantastic to hear Claude! Thanks for watching!
I love your videos!!! They are truly so helpful.
Love it! Thanks for sharing Kara😊 This is very helpful.
I'm glad to hear that Ana!
Brilliant key points
Kara, Your videos are awesome. You succinctly articulate solutions to very important and common problems. Well done. I really admire your work!
Thank you very much Dalia!
I try to do my best that reply them to humbly
The earrings go nicely with your blouse. These suggestions would be very useful.🙂
Thank you! I'm glad this video was helpful!
How do you deal with toxic or rude coworkers?
Oh yes! I like the phrase 5: I don’t appreciate such behavior. Usually, I say something like: “I noticed you are triggered with some things I’m doing. If we can’t solve it out between us, I will share this with my manager how I can help you in it.” 😊 And, they change behavior, even they are becoming so nice that you can notice it’s fake 😀
@@EpicDreamer_ it's great you've found something effective. It often does change people's behaviour when you address what they're doing.
Thank yooooou!
Hi Kara, any vids on conflict resolution?
Hi! Not specifically on conflict resolution, but I'll think about how I can address this in future videos. Thanks for watching!
Truly! Not enough videos on this.
Actually see to peoples nature and, how they understand better then I reply them to that tone, its doesn't mean with bad attitude
Great video
How do you defend yourself when a non-profit executive director harass you, put you down, and discriminate you in front of another staff?
Informative.
Thank you!
Could you do a video on how to recover from making a fairly costly mistake on the job. Thank you.
Thanks for watching! What kind of mistake are we talking about? Task-related or interactions with coworkers? Or something else?
@@kararonin I was thinking more task related; missing an important deadline, an oversight in completing a task that ended up being an important omission, choosing what ends up being a wrong priority to have focused on when something else proves to have been the higher priority. Short articles when researching this say similar things.. be truthful, tell your leadership right away, everyone makes mistakes, it can make you better, etc. But I would like to hear anything you might have to add. Thank you. Love all your videos.
@@Rd-oi7vg thanks for the clarification. I'll have a think about how I can give a different angle on this. It might be a while before I publish this idea though.
@@kararonin yes of course.. thank you.. & thanks for all your wonderful videos they are a great help!
I really love your videos, Mrs. Ronin! All of them are great videos and extremely inspiring for me.
Unfortunately, I have a coworker exactly like that way you describe. Extremely toxic. Very pedant.
I discovered that this sort of person feels superior than others, so try to show it that its behaviour is inappropriate is a waste of time.
What do I do to manage a such situation? I answer it with only uh-huhs, okays or simply with the purest silence like if no one was there by my side.
A holy medicine ;)
Could this be used with your boss? Especially, ones who talk out both sides of their mouth.
Great question! It's different with your boss. I would be careful about publicly use these statements to them (ie, in meetings in front of the team). If they are regularly being rude to you, I recommend you, at first, discuss in private with them. As a second step, you can talk to HR about your situation. It's more difficult when it's your boss. Just make sure you're always professional when you are addressing/talking about this to them.
@@kararonin thank you for the advice. :)
Hi Kara, i had a meeting yesterday where a colleague say something untrue. I did not react since I dont want discussion. I still cant move on and feel really bad. Can i react via email to her even though it happened already one day ago?
Definitely! Sometimes it's better to respond in private rather than in front of other colleagues. If you can have a conversation with this person rather than email, that is better. But if email is the only option, that is fine too.
Thanks a lot Kara, really appreciated your reply.
Hi Kara, I love your energy, is Nelson from Penguin Employee, I would love to collaborate and interview you, I am based in the UK, please feel free to get in touch
Any solution for disrespecting wife
Sorry, I can't help you with that one.
🙏🏽
Thank you!
@@kararonin upsolutely needed 😭 thank you
@@clarawella2636 you're welcome Clara!
👍
What do you say to someone saying to you: “I’m sorry you feel that way”))
I disagree. You never let ppl know how it makes you feel. You stay away from toxic coworkers. This advice just makes them more happy that they got to you. This is not good advice.
I agree
Yep, they are discusting people that need to work elsewhere, either just a nasty person or not happy in the job and that's their entertainment
Letting people know how you feel, and non-threatening way will educate other people how they are, statements, affects them and going forward other human beings. I don’t want to approach the world as if it’s so scary and unfair.
I agree with you. Silence is the best defense.
Not necessarily at our office it has helped expose toxic employee and helped bring a sense of unity amongst the others that weren't toxic. It doesn't change the person from being toxic beautiful it does help when documenting experiences that can be brought to HR to highlight a person's toxic behavior and lead to Corrective action. They will either quit or get fired.
Wow, you look like my past professor! Everyone thought she was so sweet. However, I sensed something off.
My toxic worker wldnt understand such english..
same lol 😂
Creat
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