I can so relate to so wanting a best friend all my life and never finding one...I realise now that I need a different sort of bestie not one as NTs expect...
In the past I’ve had very overwhelming, codependent friendships with people who have challenges with personality disorders, in which I often took on a caregiver type role and rationalise a lot of extreme emotions for them. Setting boundaries is really hard for me. I have just started being friends with another local autistic person who also shares animal interest and humour! It’s the first friendship development that has occurred naturally (through mutual friends) and I’m actually meeting up with
With all my heart, thank you. I thought I was the only one who had these experiences, these feelings of loneliness and hyper vigilance. I’ve always felt like the odd man out, not having a long-time close circle of friends. I’ve felt like a failure at friendship for so long.
This conversation was very comforting. I identify with so much discussed here. It's lovely to know that "different" friendships can exist. And looking back, I can see how I actually had some friends like this, but lost a lot of those connections when I had my child, realizing that those friends simply cannot handle being around children (as I, too, could feel that way before becoming a mother). Sometimes even though we understand why some friendships fall away or don't last, it doesn't stop the grieving of those relationships and the deep desire to find them again.
This is just so relevant. I have had all these people telling me that I am not good enough. Whether at work or social settings. It does make one feel rejected. The really important thing is that I need to back myself. That could be a very good start to cancel out some of those negative feelings. I have thought of this before, but it is nice to hear it from someone else. Thank You.
@nessidoe8080 yes I agree too, more people around the world need to know and have more information on the subject of neurodivergency. Its really isolating when people don't take the time to understand differences.
@sadnhigh I watch so many nd RUclips (purple ella for many years now) , but this series is so down to earth and explained in a calm manner that it's perfect to share with the neurotypicals.
The school gates thing… I am going through that now. It is brutal. Worst part of my day, having to stand there among all the others and not being able to join in any chats, feeling that even people who know who I am mostly avoid even looking at me. A lot of the chat I overhear doesn’t even interest me, yet I still manage to feel upset about not being part of any.
I've been studying this topic for quite some time now and so relate. I've taken many online tests and scored quite high. Next step is something official.
Love your t-shirt - it's awesome :) Love your voices as well - it's amazing that there are voices getting out - I took the step the other week to take a new channel to talk about the walk through being a counsellor from the bad old days when we were told we couldn't do it to now where - well - sometimes we still are - but it's a lot better now - and because of the voices going out there - it's giving voices to those of us who are older and a bit less brave to talk about things. It's wonderful that people are hearing others and to know that we're maybe different, but we're here and we are now being heard for others to be able to know the things that happen and how to navigate them and to learn ourselves as well.
This is brilliant Ella. You have come a long way in the last few years. Love seeing you blossom into your true self. You've got a really good balance of content in this - the 'best friend' thing!! OMG so relatable and now realise I can stop aiming for this at age 50 lol
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I can so relate to so wanting a best friend all my life and never finding one...I realise now that I need a different sort of bestie not one as NTs expect...
We can all be friends 😊
In the past I’ve had very overwhelming, codependent friendships with people who have challenges with personality disorders, in which I often took on a caregiver type role and rationalise a lot of extreme emotions for them. Setting boundaries is really hard for me.
I have just started being friends with another local autistic person who also shares animal interest and humour! It’s the first friendship development that has occurred naturally (through mutual friends) and I’m actually meeting up with
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With all my heart, thank you. I thought I was the only one who had these experiences, these feelings of loneliness and hyper vigilance. I’ve always felt like the odd man out, not having a long-time close circle of friends. I’ve felt like a failure at friendship for so long.
❤ it’s hard to find resources for adults with autism ❤ glad I found this video
This conversation was very comforting. I identify with so much discussed here. It's lovely to know that "different" friendships can exist. And looking back, I can see how I actually had some friends like this, but lost a lot of those connections when I had my child, realizing that those friends simply cannot handle being around children (as I, too, could feel that way before becoming a mother). Sometimes even though we understand why some friendships fall away or don't last, it doesn't stop the grieving of those relationships and the deep desire to find them again.
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Same. And people can say you're friends, but still no emotional connections. I don't understand.
I cried for most part of the video. I'm exhausted.
This is just so relevant. I have had all these people telling me that I am not good enough. Whether at work or social settings. It does make one feel rejected. The really important thing is that I need to back myself. That could be a very good start to cancel out some of those negative feelings. I have thought of this before, but it is nice to hear it from someone else. Thank You.
❤
This should have wayyyyy more views perfectly said.
Exactly my opinion for the whole "divergent voices" channel
@nessidoe8080 yes I agree too, more people around the world need to know and have more information on the subject of neurodivergency. Its really isolating when people don't take the time to understand differences.
@sadnhigh I watch so many nd RUclips (purple ella for many years now) , but this series is so down to earth and explained in a calm manner that it's perfect to share with the neurotypicals.
❤
The school gates thing… I am going through that now. It is brutal. Worst part of my day, having to stand there among all the others and not being able to join in any chats, feeling that even people who know who I am mostly avoid even looking at me. A lot of the chat I overhear doesn’t even interest me, yet I still manage to feel upset about not being part of any.
I hear you
thank you for making us visible x
Thankyou for having me ❤
Yes, thank you for having me too ❤
I find that most people do not share my integrity to genuinely be a good person.
Thank you 3 for sharing this ❤
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22:06 💯 we have to learn to handle our feelings.
Great stuff, every time! What a wonderful resource you're putting out!🥰
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I've been studying this topic for quite some time now and so relate. I've taken many online tests and scored quite high. Next step is something official.
❤
Love your t-shirt - it's awesome :)
Love your voices as well - it's amazing that there are voices getting out - I took the step the other week to take a new channel to talk about the walk through being a counsellor from the bad old days when we were told we couldn't do it to now where - well - sometimes we still are - but it's a lot better now - and because of the voices going out there - it's giving voices to those of us who are older and a bit less brave to talk about things.
It's wonderful that people are hearing others and to know that we're maybe different, but we're here and we are now being heard for others to be able to know the things that happen and how to navigate them and to learn ourselves as well.
❤
This is brilliant Ella. You have come a long way in the last few years. Love seeing you blossom into your true self. You've got a really good balance of content in this - the 'best friend' thing!! OMG so relatable and now realise I can stop aiming for this at age 50 lol
Thank you for sharing ✨🌺✌️
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this really helps.
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❣️💌❣️🎃
❤❤❤❤ 🌈🦕👚