What is Aegosexuality? | Aspec 101

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  • Опубликовано: 23 ноя 2024

Комментарии • 110

  • @Eggsther
    @Eggsther 2 года назад +130

    this microlabel helped me finally accept my Ace self cause I felt "guilty" and thought I was betraying the ace part of me (which doesnt makes sense when I think about it now lol) so it is really important to not inforce the stereotypes and understand that Asexuality is a spectrum. [Im looking at you allos]

    • @elinwestoo3545
      @elinwestoo3545 2 года назад +8

      💜💜💜Yes it’s so important!

    • @trevortidwell9047
      @trevortidwell9047 2 года назад +5

      Yeah, it sometimes threatens to undo my security in my identity too. I like the wide of array of experiences we can and do have as aces. It's almost like a sexual wild card- I can do just about anything with it, it exempts me from all sorts of boxes I'd otherwise have to jimmy-rig myself into.

  • @katradiction
    @katradiction Год назад +39

    For anyone questioning: yes, you can be aegosexual and kinky af. It's quite common because we experience our sexuality through fantasy with isn't as limiting. We have... Healthy imaginations. 🤭

  • @lenastorm6280
    @lenastorm6280 2 года назад +66

    I'm aegosexual (autochorissexual). It actually took me 25 years to figure out that I'm ace/aro. (I'm 26.) The only reason I found out is because I coincidentally found a post on pinterest that descibed what aegosexuality is. (Even tho the post called it autochorissexuality.)
    When I saw this post and read it for the first time, it actually made my jaw drop. This post decribed EXACTLY how I feel! I couldn't belive that there are other poeple, who feel like this, that it wasn't just me!
    I never identified as asexual before, because I use to think that all asexual people are disgusted by sex - wich I'm not. Actually it's the exact opposite: I enjoy most sex-scenes in movies and books, have sexual fantasies myself & I masturbate. But when I do I never fantasies about people I know. Only fictional characters. I thought that was because I just haven't met anyone in real life who I want to have sex with. I thought that would change when "I met the right person".
    I was so happy, that I finaly had an answer to why I feel the way I feel that I actaully started crying!
    I also only had only 4 "crushes" in my life, but I'm not sure if that was actual real love, since I don't know what romantic love feels like.
    (Sorry for my bad english.)

    • @kitishy
      @kitishy 2 года назад +8

      That was exactly me at 26 lol, maybe I'll meet someone and it'll all click then. Several years later, "There uhh isn't a right person is there? Am I on the Ace spectrum?". Cue years of the internal back and forth but are you really tho arguments. A month ago, at the age of 36 mind you, I stumbled across Aegosexual and it was like all doubt and confusion just went poof, gone. That is such a good feeling and I am so glad you found it now at 26 and not ten years of doubt and confusion later. Anytime I hear of people figuring themselves out at an earlier age just makes me so happy. Welcome to the club! We have cake 🎂 (and garlic bread 🥖 for those who prefer salty and savory)!

    • @guardianobserver6593
      @guardianobserver6593 2 года назад +1

      26 you are still young to put a label on your self.

    • @lenastorm6280
      @lenastorm6280 2 года назад +10

      @@guardianobserver6593 🤦🏻‍♀️

    • @susannah3982
      @susannah3982 2 года назад +5

      ​@@guardianobserver6593 How old were you when you figured out who you were and weren't attracted to?

    • @lenastorm6280
      @lenastorm6280 2 года назад +4

      @@greenangelynn5774 Yes, porn does cause a decrease in the sex drive, but aegosexuality is NOT because of that! My sexuality is valid and has NOTHING to do with porn, especially since I don’t watch that.

  • @ree4353
    @ree4353 2 года назад +34

    I like to think of it like enjoying horror movies but not wanting to get possessed by a demon or brutally mudered by a masked killer

    • @ree4353
      @ree4353 2 года назад +4

      @@greenangelynn5774 you’ve left 20 comments on this video.. go get a job or touch grass or something. Your opinions aren’t welcome here

  • @elinwestoo3545
    @elinwestoo3545 2 года назад +61

    Thank you for this video! :) I do identify with the label aegosexual because it has made me understand that I’m valid in the way that I work, but it’s a label I’m mostly keeping to myself and most important is to identify as ace. I see this micro label as a way to understand how my unique way of being ace is, and how I fit into the ace spectrum. I think you explained it very well! :)

    • @annalisaely4298
      @annalisaely4298 2 года назад +8

      That's pretty much how I experience it, too.

    • @Kimmie6772
      @Kimmie6772 9 месяцев назад +1

      If i were to break out my own microlabels it would probably be aegosexual with a lean of homosexual orientation and biromantic tendencies from the on and off research I've been doing. However, if i were to go out in public and describe it I'd just identity as a lesbian with low sexual motivation just to simplify it for myself and others 😅. Even if I feel like that description doesnt tell the whole story. Im still not opposed to the idea of a sexual relationship and maybe marriage, but I've never felt urgent about it.

  • @noellewest4347
    @noellewest4347 7 месяцев назад +7

    This is one of the most interesting and relatable explanations I've ever come across. It reminds me so much of the confusion over autism, due to stereotypes of autistic people being socially "inept" and lacking empathy. Society expects autistic people to behave a certain way and when we don't, our autism is questioned just as an asexual's orientation might be questioned if they are sex positive. I've just learned this new word "aegosexual" this morning and realize now that this is exactly what I am. I'm autistic (very late diagnosed) with strong sensory processing issues and cannot handle being touched. Sex is not even a remote possibility for me.
    But I do enjoy watching or reading certain sex scenes between characters in a movie or book. Porn is not for me at all, as I prefer simulated "fake" sex between fictional characters, but I can definitely understand why it arouses others.
    Anyhow, thanks so much for breaking this label down. I really wonder how many other neurodivergent people out there are also aegosexual...?

    • @SliceOfAce
      @SliceOfAce  7 месяцев назад

      You're welcome! I'm happy that I was able to help somewhat :)

  • @spaceace946
    @spaceace946 2 года назад +42

    Hello!! I just found your channel!! I’ve been identifying as asexual and feel that’s who i am. A while ago, i was searching if it’s an ace experience to fantasize about sex and feel arousal but the people in question are not yourself. For my case, I’ve daydreamed about my favorite fictional ship and felt these feelings about their emotional connection and genuine love for each other, completely excluding myself from those scenarios. I identify as asexual and aegosexual. Thank you for this video :)))

    • @kitishy
      @kitishy 2 года назад +10

      Same. I love my ships. I identify as Ace/Aro for the most part but discovering Aegosexual was the ohh okay moment where I stopped doubting myself. Because adult funtime in the third person is great, put me anywhere in that scenario and I nope right out. When I'm involved I'm pretty much sex-repulsed. I like to identify myself as sex positive (you consentually do you), third person sex-favorable, and first person sex-repulsed.

    • @frazzyblue1384
      @frazzyblue1384 2 года назад +4

      @@kitishy this^^^ completely agree, glad to find people who think the same and I feel a little less alone 😅

  • @thornbushy
    @thornbushy 2 года назад +26

    I've been identifing as an Ageosexual for a while and it makes me very happy to see other Aces do a video and talk about it. Very much appreciated 💛

  • @crimtsun
    @crimtsun Год назад +7

    huh, I believe I may have learned something about myself today.

  • @blackraven5389
    @blackraven5389 Год назад +10

    This. I discovered I am aegosexual not so long time ago. I thought I am just weird heterosexual instead for liking any sexual content, I didn't met right person to 'wake me'. Having normal libido level but not experiencing sexual attraction. I felt so torn and broken for this, why there were those desires despite not wanting sex at all? Also thought third person fantasies were standard for most people. It is just pure libido in its form.

  • @spikey_the_dykey6987
    @spikey_the_dykey6987 2 года назад +12

    My dyslexic ass thought that it said agro-sexuality😂😅🤷‍♀️

  • @Miss-Anne-Thrope
    @Miss-Anne-Thrope 2 года назад +18

    I'm cishet myself (aside from the odd three some involving another woman) but I do like to try to understand more about the LGBTQ+ community. I'd never heard of aegosexuality before, this is literally the first time I've heard this term! Thanks for the lesson! 👍

  • @petervrooden9849
    @petervrooden9849 2 года назад +13

    Great video. I was identifying as homosexual (after my straight phase ) then i thought "I'm kind off right here but not completely". Then I discovered Asexuality and it was fitting but not completely. Then I discovered the micro label Lithsexual. That was the closest to my attraction model. Now I found Aegosexual. That label described my way dealing with sex. Always good and helpful to learn more about yourself. Now I identify as cismale, gay, ace, lith and aego. But things can change. There are always new things to discover!

  • @kitishy
    @kitishy 2 года назад +4

    I'm really grateful for this video. It's always nice to see Aego content from Ace-spec creators. I've been identifying as Ace-spec for years but have struggled with accepting it. Stumbling across Aego helped me realize that I wasn't broken. So I really appreciate more information being spread about it. Thank you!

  • @johnd9519
    @johnd9519 2 года назад +15

    Yup this is my flavor of ace. Sex is fine for those who have it, but it's like sports. I'd rather watch than participate.

  • @pollhamaryella1906
    @pollhamaryella1906 Год назад +1

    ¡Muchas gracias por hacer este video! Gracias a él por fin pude saber lo que era después de años de búsqueda. Desearía que la gente tuviera más conocimientos de estos temas...

  • @captenarii3938
    @captenarii3938 Год назад +4

    I have always thought Asexuality has little to no romantic/sexual attraction to anyone such as human or characters at all (I have no attraction to people in general but find* fictional characters attractive, and I rather find others okay having sex than partake in) and this clears the issue whilst I still identify myself as asexual in general and Im very happy that there is a place like me in the asexual spectrum

  • @kyolud
    @kyolud 2 года назад +4

    I hadn't even considered being asexual until I heard about aegosexuality! I just thought I was super romantic and hadn't met the right one. I was like "well, I don't wanna have sex until I am in love!" ... and then I never fell in love, or met anyone I wanted to have sex with regardless of not being in love. I didn't consider being asexual or aromantic because I love to indulge in sexual and romantic contect, which didn't fit with my understanding of asexuality at the time. It was through helping a friend who considered if they were somewhere on the aromantic spectrum, that I read about it and the enitre list could just have been describing me. It felt surreal and super freeing. Realizing I would never actually have to have sex, that indulging in sexual and romantic content was the end of it... I imagine it would make allosexual people feel worried, but I was so excited! I'm 28, friends and family still say I might come to feel different. I guess it's technically a posibility, but life just sounds so much easier like this, so I hope not :')

  • @penguim1996
    @penguim1996 2 года назад +11

    Oh… I finally have a label to describe myself! I’m assuming you can also use aegoromantic? If so, I also finally have a label to describe my romantic orientation. This popped up on my recommended for whatever reason, and I’m thankful 💕

    • @SliceOfAce
      @SliceOfAce  2 года назад +9

      Yep, I should have mentioned that aegoromantic is a label too if you have romantic fantasies you don't want to be personally involved in! 😊

  • @wa6488
    @wa6488 2 года назад +14

    OH
    SO I'M AN AEGOSEXUAL

  • @PlasmaMongoose
    @PlasmaMongoose Год назад +4

    I have no real interest in having sex at all _(I'm a virgin in my 50s),_ but I do sometimes find things of a sexual nature interesting, and I pretty much grew up on innuendo based humour.

  • @eda6654
    @eda6654 2 года назад +6

    I'm not ace myself, but loved your channel!

  • @christianrolle2548
    @christianrolle2548 2 года назад +5

    I love learning about all these different labels of ace!! also how are the babies doing?

    • @SliceOfAce
      @SliceOfAce  2 года назад +5

      They're doing well, thanks! Needy as ever 😂

  • @toramenor
    @toramenor 2 года назад +3

    Thanks for a nice explanation of what this micro label means 👍

  • @dawntripp1974
    @dawntripp1974 2 года назад +5

    You forgot erotica, that’s big for me. Thanks for the video. This is not talked about often.

    • @SliceOfAce
      @SliceOfAce  2 года назад +4

      You're welcome! I should have mentioned erotica explicitly, it's a good example 😊

  • @francomanni6932
    @francomanni6932 2 года назад +2

    Hello Daniel I am glad you are still alive and still broadcasting videos 👋🏻 still in Edinburgh?

    • @SliceOfAce
      @SliceOfAce  2 года назад +2

      Hi, Franco! Yeah, I'm still up there. Not much has changed, to be honest 😂 How are you?

    • @francomanni6932
      @francomanni6932 2 года назад +2

      @@SliceOfAce shall you come to our asexual meetup in London next 7 August ? I will be the host and you could promote your RUclips series there

    • @SliceOfAce
      @SliceOfAce  2 года назад +1

      Oh, I might not be able to make it, sorry! I have family visiting then so I'll be busy 😝

  • @karenKristal
    @karenKristal 2 года назад +13

    It does make me a bit uncomfotable to think people only associate aego with porn and masturbation 😕 it sounds a bit seedy and is not just that. Im aego and can enjoy just imagining a warm fuzzy feeling of attraction and affection that i cant get from people, like a romantic compliment or hug.

    • @SliceOfAce
      @SliceOfAce  2 года назад +9

      I didn't mean to imply that, sorry! I was just trying to define the term in a simple way, which precluded further discussion about how romantic attraction may come into it 🙂

    • @karenKristal
      @karenKristal 2 года назад +5

      @@SliceOfAce yeah course, you did a great job at describing what it is to people that may not have heard of it before ☺

    • @karenKristal
      @karenKristal 2 года назад +2

      @@greenangelynn5774 ive seen you have put similar comments on other videos. Im guessing you are not aego yourself and dont really understand what is is. Please stop saying these things. People who do have actual porn additions know what their orientation is, it doesnt change. And aegosexuality is not about porn, thats just one simple example people use sometimes to say that some Ace people can have a response to sexual content even if they dont really respond to people.

  • @threetailedfox1
    @threetailedfox1 6 месяцев назад

    Because I've been reading fanfiction centering around a Hazbin Hotel character (Alastor, who is ace) and seeing the authors play around with the various micro labels, at some point I started wondering about those labels, looked at them, and started comically questioning myself because this one struck a chord.
    Seriously, I found it really funny with all of my suspicions and even asking myself "would I kiss this random person at the store? Would I kiss that person? I don't even know this guy, NO, nah, nope, okay this one looks great but not enough to kiss on the cheek. Wait- would I kiss them on the cheek? ... Platonically."
    After reviewing my life experiences and attitudes and comparing them to the labels, I'm tentatively using the "aegosexual" label. I might be demi, but I haven't dated much nor do I have a deep connection with someone, so this should do for now.

  • @ChineduOpara
    @ChineduOpara 2 года назад +2

    Who else first read that word as "Agrosexual" (likes to fk plants, specifically agricultural produce)??? Just me? OK 🙈😅

    • @Chris-rl7eb
      @Chris-rl7eb 2 года назад +2

      Same thing happened to me for the first few minutes. "Damn you dyslexia!" Unfortunately, I'm pretty sure that at some point I'm going to explain to someone that I'm agrosexual. 😅

  • @Thisisace
    @Thisisace 2 года назад +2

    Great video - although I was slightly distracted by your magically vanishing cat!

    • @SliceOfAce
      @SliceOfAce  2 года назад +3

      What cat??? 🤔🤔🤔

  • @rardyjeey4020
    @rardyjeey4020 2 года назад +6

    Oh My Gosh this is me

  • @adharsh1512
    @adharsh1512 Год назад +2

    I'm 'kinda' Aegosexual, but I fantasize sex from a 1st person POV, like I'm having sex with another person, still never wanting to do sex in real life. Am I really Aegosexual? Its confusing. 😑 Please reply if anyone know about this. 🙏🏼

    • @deba6468
      @deba6468 Год назад +1

      Maybe graysexual? Im also so new at this. Sex is nice in my mind but i also dont want to experience it in real life.

  • @netruskoorals8480
    @netruskoorals8480 2 года назад +1

    So, I KINDA identify as aegosexual, but also as demisexual.. I'm TRULY confused ..

  • @wa6488
    @wa6488 2 года назад +2

    Specifically an Androromantic bisexual who is also aegosexual specifically

    • @karenKristal
      @karenKristal 2 года назад +2

      Oooh im andro aego too. Hi!

    • @IdkIdc-tw9ct
      @IdkIdc-tw9ct 2 года назад +3

      heyy may I ask a question? You see, I have been switching between the labels of bisexual and aegosexual for a while now and I wanted to ask you, what is it like for you to identify as both? If you don't mind talking about it of course.
      In my case, I feel attracted to both guys and girls (not excluding other genders either) but it's really tough to understand whether it's just aesthetical or actual sexual attraction, since I don't ever fantasize about real life people (fictional couples are much more interesting!) and I almost never look at somebody thinking 'I want to bone that'. Who I'm attracted to also seems to change fairly often, like one day I might be more attracted to girls and the next days not look at girls at all. It's a mess haha. Kinda makes me miss the days when I didn't question myself at all🥲

    • @wa6488
      @wa6488 2 года назад

      @@IdkIdc-tw9ct for me, it's mostly easier for me to know if I'm sexually attracted to them since in my head, I go "Holy, they are so attracted that they make me wanna jack off to their pictures and stuff" but it never really goes beyond that
      So that's mainly the difference, I'm not really sure how to describe it in your case tbh but that's how it is for me
      It's also easier for me to identify who I'm attracted to when I fixate and get turned on by their physical appearance (again, back to the jack off material thing I said earlier) and again, Idk if it's the same or similar to yours

    • @wa6488
      @wa6488 2 года назад

      @@IdkIdc-tw9ct for me, aesthetical attraction is when I think their face could be in a museum or I could use them for art references or inspiration or something
      Sexual attraction is just jack off material that could sometimes lean towards a crush if they're a guy since I'm androromantic

    • @wa6488
      @wa6488 2 года назад

      @@karenKristal also myello!

  • @SK-zi3sr
    @SK-zi3sr 2 года назад +3

    Here I was thinking all asexuals, don’t watch porn or like any sexual and doesnt masterbate. Like a fear of it or they are unable to be turned on

    • @SliceOfAce
      @SliceOfAce  2 года назад +10

      Nope, not at all! Asexuality is just like any other orientation where it just describes who you are or are not attracted to sexually. Asexuality is defined as not feeling sexual attraction to people of any gender. It implies nothing about arousal or libido, which are separate things. Hope that makes sense! 🙂

  • @orlandocagurangan
    @orlandocagurangan Год назад +1

    Asexual fit me but aegosexual are more fit to me as I compare to my experience it's very match from aegosexual.

  • @TheRhandolph
    @TheRhandolph 3 месяца назад

    CAT! There is a CAT!

  • @mithralgear417
    @mithralgear417 10 месяцев назад +1

    I have to admit this is the most confusing asexual subcategory there is. Even with this video and almost two hours of research I, a sexual person don't get it at all. I don't know how people can enjoy seeing it but not...wanting to do it, especially how they could find it gross with themselves but nice about other people. Full respect to all asexuals, but this one...I still don't get it.

    • @mckennaceline
      @mckennaceline 10 месяцев назад +2

      Aego here. Here's two ways I like to think about it.
      Think about it like loving to WATCH sports, but having absolutely zero desire to actually get out onto the field with other people and play ball with them. And hey, maybe I'll play ball with myself where there is no other person to take that ball. Maybe I'll just be a cheerleader (in this analogy you can liken that to having romantic attraction but no sexual attraction). The point of it is simply not being interested in doing (asexual) but still being fond of fantasizing about it/watching it/chatting about it/writing about it/appreciating the existence of sexy fun times in general. I just reaaally don't see ME being an athlete or even just a casual player. And no, I'm not saying this because I secretly bat for the other team and I'm trying to let you down easy, I bat for nobody but myself. ;)
      Second way to think about it (and with a LOT fewer analogies) is just... imagine a type of person you're NOT attracted to, and then apply that to everyone. Asexual. Then imagine if you imagined that person and another person going at it, and smile a little at the idea because those folks are happy together. You still wouldn't do it yourself, but you'd definitely see and appreciate and enjoy how the pairing in the idea is enjoying things. :P Lesbians are a common pairing that's fun to enjoy vicariously, as is yaoi (men into men). The point is, I have an interest in sexual things and find the concepts pleasurable, it's just not actually something I'm interested in doing in reality.
      Even having someone on my bed, very clearly ready for things to happen, and all I could think about was the temperature of the room, if they needed something to eat or drink, if the bed was comfortable, how cramped my room was with how many messy things were in it, and- literally, every thought was purely platonic and I'd think the exact same thoughts for any guest or friend. Before we met, I was fantasizing about her and the things she's enjoying sexually (coincidentally, none of those fantasies had ME in them), and after she left, the fantasizing returned. Sometimes I'd wonder what it's be like to be her partner, but it'd be as whoever her partner is. Some abstract shell of a person that fit that description. As though I didn't fit in that picture without that mask. Like thinking about what it'd be like to be a big and strong athlete. It's not me, but that activity would be pretty fun! In theory. Still not for me, in the end. I'll stick to being platonic with everyone, thank you very much. I'd feel as awkward and repulsed as a gay man with a woman or a lesbian with a man.
      Anyway. Cheers :)

    • @wallaceshawn-zk8iw
      @wallaceshawn-zk8iw 5 месяцев назад

      ​@@mckennacelineThe first one is a good analogy! 💜 🖤

  • @ChineduOpara
    @ChineduOpara 2 года назад +1

    ...so we're just *making up words* now? OK

    • @SliceOfAce
      @SliceOfAce  2 года назад +20

      Hate to tell you this, my dude, but all words are made up 😂

    • @ChineduOpara
      @ChineduOpara 2 года назад

      @@SliceOfAce As SOON as I posted my comment, I swear I immediately remembered what you just said! 😂

  • @vlad_r_duck414
    @vlad_r_duck414 2 года назад +1

    So.. Let me get this straight... Homoromantic asexual...
    You are in love with the sex and gender you have, but restrain your sexual fantasies and desires upon yourself?
    I don't want to be rude... But you need to visit a specialist...
    And go explore yourself..

    • @SliceOfAce
      @SliceOfAce  2 года назад +9

      Homoromantic means I feel romantic attraction to other guys, and asexual means that I feel sexual attraction to no one. So I like going on dates, kissing etc. but I have no desire to have sex 😊

    • @vlad_r_duck414
      @vlad_r_duck414 2 года назад

      @@SliceOfAce ah..
      OK.. You know yourself..
      I just don't understand the restraints...
      Unnecessary...

    • @SliceOfAce
      @SliceOfAce  2 года назад +10

      It's not a restraint! I just have never wanted sex 😂

    • @vlad_r_duck414
      @vlad_r_duck414 2 года назад

      @@SliceOfAce yet you kiss...

    • @SliceOfAce
      @SliceOfAce  2 года назад +6

      Indeed I do. I don't know how to explain it. It's just how I am 😊

  • @patriciamartin6756
    @patriciamartin6756 2 года назад

    OH NO. NOT ANOTHER PRONOUN!!

    • @mōri_-3v3
      @mōri_-3v3 2 года назад

      LITERALLY💀 this describes me perfectly but that's just cuz I'm awkward, inexperienced and scared of relationships. It really doesnt need a whole ass sexuality behind it lol🤦a community that hates labels but loves labels all at the same time💀💀💀💀💀

    • @SliceOfAce
      @SliceOfAce  2 года назад +22

      I understand that Patricia really hates pronouns, so I will respect Patricia's wishes and refer to Patricia by Patricia's name only 😊

    • @karenKristal
      @karenKristal 2 года назад +11

      Orientations and pronouns are different 😕

  • @pookiesis1465
    @pookiesis1465 2 года назад

    Sorry,but all of these labels is a bit much.Everybody wants to be special

    • @SliceOfAce
      @SliceOfAce  2 года назад +15

      If you don't want to use a label, don't use it! Simple as that. It does help other people to have a more specific label though 😊

    • @IdkIdc-tw9ct
      @IdkIdc-tw9ct 2 года назад +2

      Nah dude. Actually, people making this kind of assumptions makes being not hetero or gay (the "easy to understand" sexualities) pretty shitty.🤷‍♀

  • @cradica
    @cradica 4 месяца назад +1

    0:51 I kind of feel like this sometimes