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  • Опубликовано: 9 дек 2020
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Комментарии • 4,1 тыс.

  • @shrimplamp1
    @shrimplamp1 3 года назад +5282

    That “take it ez babe” pops into my head at least once a week

    • @tannerparks2822
      @tannerparks2822 3 года назад +289

      same, its also the only picture of shadman, which is funny that its of him as a bad simpson character

    • @Jack_Woods
      @Jack_Woods 3 года назад +52

      He's Dale from King Of The Hill

    • @TheRealSkreegle
      @TheRealSkreegle 3 года назад +40

      For me its the c'mon man listen man

    • @Maddy-sy1vj
      @Maddy-sy1vj 3 года назад +16

      @@tannerparks2822 it makes sense that oney would know him lmao

    • @Doctorwhofan451
      @Doctorwhofan451 3 года назад +309

      "Take it ez, babe!"
      --Shadman when the Swedish government tries to arrest him for drawing literal CP

  • @tomkeenoyy
    @tomkeenoyy 3 года назад +1940

    “the hacker known as Squeeble” KILLS me every time

    • @dr.diamond9868
      @dr.diamond9868 3 года назад +21

      Christopher!!! WA HOO!!!

    • @Kryptnyt
      @Kryptnyt 3 года назад +9

      We've finally found him

    • @phantompop3192
      @phantompop3192 3 года назад +15

      Every time? Name every time you died.

    • @tomkeenoyy
      @tomkeenoyy 3 года назад +36

      @@phantompop3192 there was that one time when I first heard it and then again when I heard it again and also this time. So 3 times

    • @phantompop3192
      @phantompop3192 3 года назад +23

      @@tomkeenoyy you win this round

  • @killerplunger
    @killerplunger Год назад +911

    I love how Chris describes the guy who poisoned him through pizza with severe stomach pain as "just goofin around"

    • @kedro5
      @kedro5 5 месяцев назад +48

      It's wild that the pizza place kept a guy with multiple customer complaints from his first day on the job around for (at least) two months.

    • @Destroy3612
      @Destroy3612 4 месяца назад +14

      @@kedro5 he was probably related to the owner

    • @avillazamora3660
      @avillazamora3660 2 месяца назад

      IM LOOKING FOR THIS STORY I CAN'T FIND IT WHERE IS IT??

    • @avillazamora3660
      @avillazamora3660 2 месяца назад +4

      found it :)

    • @ZedByt
      @ZedByt 2 месяца назад

      @@avillazamora3660 when you find it share it with the class you goon (timestamp)
      Especially if you're gonna put an entire new comment after finding it

  • @maxhay9098
    @maxhay9098 Год назад +1622

    I think I finally just cracked the Pokemon one. The dude was distributing copies of Red around during exam periods because he wanted to drag the curve down to pass his classes, dude was a genius

    • @Shawno625
      @Shawno625 Год назад +203

      if he put as much effort into copying and distributing copies of pokemon red across the campus into studying he probably would of passed

    • @lilvaginastain6643
      @lilvaginastain6643 Год назад +1

      @@SludgeManCometh lol

    • @shinyentree225
      @shinyentree225 Год назад +40

      That’s some 6d chess

    • @blakechildress944
      @blakechildress944 Год назад +65

      That actually makes perfect sense! I would have never considered that but it makes perfect sense! I didn't think he was trying to access his female classmate's web cams like Zack said. If he was then why did he also give the Pokemon copies to men? The trench coat guy was most likely trying to lower the grade curve of the class which is easier than spending hours studying.

    • @aaroncarapace8054
      @aaroncarapace8054 Год назад +66

      @@blakechildress944 Giving the copies to both genders makes his story seem more believable and less creepy. Also dude could be gay or bi we just assumed he likes girls. Not to mention black mail can be gathered for both genders.

  • @SZLEDGEHAMMOR
    @SZLEDGEHAMMOR 3 года назад +3934

    The thumbnail of Zach looks so candid and fatherly. Too bad he's an actual Ghoulie.

    • @dredgefall
      @dredgefall 3 года назад +61

      No he's a FoOglie from the hit anime Spy Kids

    • @Mattno.777
      @Mattno.777 3 года назад +45

      @@dredgefall No. Thats Inacurate information. Hes a Noseian Hadey from the Famous Netflix series: "Kratt Brothers"

    • @TheHeadbanger93
      @TheHeadbanger93 3 года назад +32

      Don't touch his jewel or he'll die.

    • @Jack_Woods
      @Jack_Woods 3 года назад +8

      Or the ghost of a rape victim, that's also a possibility

    • @DeafOnAllFronts
      @DeafOnAllFronts 3 года назад +7

      @@Mattno.777 I miss that Zabamafoo

  • @tyronequinn
    @tyronequinn 3 года назад +1802

    Can't wait for all those Irish stories

    • @ScootaNinja
      @ScootaNinja 3 года назад +80

      I want Niall to accidentally tell his story twice

    • @FelipeJaquez
      @FelipeJaquez 3 года назад +87

      I went on a fishing trip then I didn't catch a fish and my dad said but then I shit my pants the end...

    • @Grwgoski
      @Grwgoski 3 года назад +40

      Irish stories make me proud to be a bog dweller

    • @DragonTamer31K
      @DragonTamer31K 3 года назад +38

      "I don't tell Irish stories"
      "All your stories are Irish stories!"

    • @lol33380
      @lol33380 3 года назад +23

      Chris doing his played up irish accent gives me life

  • @koji8872
    @koji8872 Год назад +2263

    Chris struggling to describe Shadman without saying anything bad will always be the funniest shit ever

    • @gta4helpers
      @gta4helpers Год назад +223

      Aged like a fine wine

    • @leightonrud66
      @leightonrud66 Год назад

      Dirty pedo

    • @LinusBitchTits
      @LinusBitchTits 11 месяцев назад +396

      @@gta4helpersin this case the proverbial wine bottle has always clearly been full of piss and for some reason the only way to convince people of that is by letting them taste it

    • @zPandro1
      @zPandro1 10 месяцев назад +7

      time stamp?

    • @koji8872
      @koji8872 10 месяцев назад +14

      @@zPandro1 yes

  • @PatienceKiss
    @PatienceKiss 2 года назад +1058

    When Shadman unsheathed his $20 walmart knife to extort his dealer for more meth, the first and only words he spoke were "Take it EZ, babe"

    • @lemondoodledandy
      @lemondoodledandy 2 года назад +45

      Is that the friend he was talking about?!?

    • @tsrenis
      @tsrenis 2 года назад +27

      @@lemondoodledandy yeah lol

    • @tomasfong40
      @tomasfong40 2 года назад +61

      Wait, thats why he got arrested? I thought that if he got arrested it would be from Child porn like most content creators

    • @halfknight6706
      @halfknight6706 2 года назад +107

      @@tomasfong40 Unfortunately, he's allowed to produce it as long as it isn't ACTUAL child porn. Drawn characters get a pass for some reason.

    • @halfknight6706
      @halfknight6706 2 года назад +16

      @@tomasfong40 It's why you see "lolitas" in the world of Anime.

  • @Grimfoon
    @Grimfoon 3 года назад +1664

    grandpa zach gathers his youngins around the fire place to screech at them

    • @Jack_Woods
      @Jack_Woods 3 года назад +52

      UZALAGIKA ZAMBAKALAKAGOMAGIMBADILA!

    • @suttlet.sounds9707
      @suttlet.sounds9707 3 года назад +28

      @@Jack_Woods LAWOOKABALADIRIZIKIOPIPAMANDALORIANBAPIKIAPOOKAMOOLALOOKA

    • @Jack_Woods
      @Jack_Woods 3 года назад +27

      @@suttlet.sounds9707 Only him and his kids know the Hadel language passed on for generations onto Zach

    • @iseetheendisnear2416
      @iseetheendisnear2416 3 года назад +37

      We luv it when Grandpa Zach opens his crusty, purple lips and gaslights us.

    • @FluffyIronGolems
      @FluffyIronGolems 3 года назад +14

      @@suttlet.sounds9707 the fact you know that language to spell it out in full scares me

  • @HollowHouse3
    @HollowHouse3 3 года назад +1056

    I love that Chris's fake Bowser room thing made it into the SM64 Creepypasta lexicon.

    • @BigOlSmellyFlashlight
      @BigOlSmellyFlashlight 3 года назад +11

      yeah

    • @jaydenbutwhy4778
      @jaydenbutwhy4778 3 года назад +6

      Which

    • @roachdoggjr.4993
      @roachdoggjr.4993 3 года назад +73

      @@jaydenbutwhy4778 the "every supra mayro 6 4 cartridge is personalized" iceberg

    • @henrynelson9301
      @henrynelson9301 6 месяцев назад +3

      It was also used as a clickbait thumbnail for an article on thegamer called “secrets you still haven’t found in Super Mario 64”

  • @kylesgirlfriend2
    @kylesgirlfriend2 2 года назад +369

    The panic in Chris’ voice when he said “ a silverback gorilla” is so fucking funny

    • @yggdrasil2
      @yggdrasil2 Год назад +20

      That and that time his parents confronted him about his search history: "Eh..no..."

    • @henrynelson9301
      @henrynelson9301 8 месяцев назад +13

      “He was scary.”
      “Chris….”
      “He was!”

    • @leaffinite3828
      @leaffinite3828 12 дней назад

      And hes just recounting the story lmao

  • @ethanwilde4716
    @ethanwilde4716 2 года назад +444

    Hearing Chris walk across Eggshells about his friend "Shad" for someone that in most of his videos he's talking without a care is the funniest thing.

    • @shoebillbigbeak1538
      @shoebillbigbeak1538 7 месяцев назад +13

      I'm having a stroke reading this

    • @majorghoul9017
      @majorghoul9017 6 месяцев назад +22

      He didn't take it ez babe

    • @TrueRandomPlayer
      @TrueRandomPlayer 5 месяцев назад +2

      ​@@majorghoul9017Oh, I beg to differ. He took it REAL easy.

  • @TheHammeroftime
    @TheHammeroftime 2 года назад +3597

    I like how Chris tells these stories that paint his dad like a total bully then says his dad Is a sweet man.

  • @henrynelson9301
    @henrynelson9301 3 года назад +7012

    I like how Tomar tells a story about how his grandpa saved a kid’s life and had a comic made about him, then Lyle’s stories are about how he messed up a Christian Minecraft server and insulted Tobuscus.

    • @commonwriternext
      @commonwriternext 3 года назад +349

      Tomar comes from a heroic lineage while Lyle is just a douche true to his name

    • @clawzx1195
      @clawzx1195 2 года назад +307

      Personalities boiled down into stories

    • @gustavwood0064
      @gustavwood0064 2 года назад +507

      I’m kinda insulted Tomar didn’t mention how he arranged the Hindenburg disaster because one of the passengers bumped into him in the belt buckle store.

    • @gulfcoastgaming6034
      @gulfcoastgaming6034 2 года назад +138

      Don’t forget smashing rats with belts and Cherokee Patty

    • @josephikrakowski1137
      @josephikrakowski1137 2 года назад +58

      Nah man, tomar created the tomar emeralds in my books he’s worse than Lyle

  • @yurifan3000
    @yurifan3000 Год назад +250

    after the reveal that adam was the friend with the homeless tinder date i'm convinced he was the one who got fined $5k for downloading porn

    • @dickkickem3834
      @dickkickem3834 Год назад +14

      I always assumed it was Niall

    • @AtomicFlounder42
      @AtomicFlounder42 Год назад +11

      The 5k porn was absolutely either Adam, or Cory with Chris trying to hide his identity

    • @henrynelson9301
      @henrynelson9301 Год назад +7

      @@dickkickem3834everyone thought Niall was the Tinder guy because of the stories he told about it on Sleepycast, but he actually stopped using it

    • @dickkickem3834
      @dickkickem3834 Год назад +19

      @@henrynelson9301 yeah that was my train of thought. but listening back to it, chris mimics Adam's way of speaking pretty clearly.

  • @AAA-qm9km
    @AAA-qm9km 2 года назад +177

    34:34 is, without exaggeration, one of the funniest stories I've heard in my entire life.

    • @henrynelson9301
      @henrynelson9301 6 месяцев назад +20

      Never questioning about the gender of the sucker and just assuming it’s a hot lady is so stupid, but also such a Dave thing to do

    • @chumbo_7931
      @chumbo_7931 6 месяцев назад +14

      esteemed creator of Friday Night Funkin gets sucked off at the crazy taxi machine

    • @kodachromeraccoon5448
      @kodachromeraccoon5448 Месяц назад

      Dave has such a way of telling stories (especially stories of his misfortune) it’s amazing. I remember I was sick in bed with RUclips auto play on when I first heard this story and I was wheezing 😭

  • @b_l_a_c_k-l_i_t_e
    @b_l_a_c_k-l_i_t_e 3 года назад +8130

    The cool thing about Zach is that nobody could possibly Look or Sound like him so he cant be impersonated

    • @BigOlSmellyFlashlight
      @BigOlSmellyFlashlight 3 года назад +803

      get surgery to get a big nose and also block your nasal airways in the same surgery

    • @austinwomack5664
      @austinwomack5664 2 года назад +449

      He sounds like he always has a head cold

    • @VerbyWerby
      @VerbyWerby 2 года назад +359

      Niall can do a spot on Zach impression

    • @toasterboi5603
      @toasterboi5603 2 года назад +165

      @AnAverageTerrarian this is because Zach is everyone.

    • @absurdstar1334
      @absurdstar1334 2 года назад +38

      Boy am I gonna try though

  • @BohdanKaiba
    @BohdanKaiba 3 года назад +1756

    “And then Tomar put a gun to that guys head and asked him do you believe in God!” - Zach Hadel

    • @aus-li
      @aus-li 3 года назад +50

      Tomar is officially ending religion and spreading the good word of atheism!

    • @noid2690
      @noid2690 3 года назад +139

      "The very notion of belief itself can be rhetorically whittled to the bare knob of its meaning. I'd like to talk with you a lot more about this. Would you be interested in reading some of my literature?"

    • @JC-wj7sb
      @JC-wj7sb 3 года назад +68

      @@noid2690 Joshua Xavier Tomar

    • @thesilverblueman
      @thesilverblueman 3 года назад +22

      @@aus-li no hes spreading Judaism if the man said no Tomar would execute him

    • @NikoJr.
      @NikoJr. 3 года назад +41

      @@JC-wj7sb Xavier: Renegade Tomar

  • @freddywilliams9837
    @freddywilliams9837 2 года назад +241

    Oney and Zach are so brave, hanging out with the legendary hacker Squeeble. Do they know his deeds?

  • @cronosreborn
    @cronosreborn 3 месяца назад +21

    Mick's response to Chris at 29:15 is definitely interesting considering what we know now about him.

    • @ryandeluxe
      @ryandeluxe 2 дня назад

      Dude i just noticed and that was some cartoon villain shit

  • @oliverdaniel5128
    @oliverdaniel5128 3 года назад +1498

    Chris saying “look! it’s *REEEAAAL* “during the Mario 64 hoax story kills me every time I hear it

    • @jaythehuman2552
      @jaythehuman2552 2 года назад +36

      not only that but it made gaming history since its in EVERY SM64 ice berg ive seen

    • @RanOutOfSpac
      @RanOutOfSpac 2 года назад +11

      @@jaythehuman2552 Wait, really?! Holy shit now I need to find those ice bergs cause that’s hilarious.

    • @moppupaws
      @moppupaws 2 года назад +24

      @@RanOutOfSpac yeah people were making fucking conspiracies and shit about it. it was an interesting time to be an oneyplays fan.

    • @bepybipebomb6938
      @bepybipebomb6938 Год назад

      @@moppupaws cant believe your the same person who made that bimbo playlist

    • @funnykai1
      @funnykai1 Год назад

      timestamp?

  • @friedawuzhere
    @friedawuzhere 3 года назад +2786

    The pizza sociopath story is terrifying WTF

    • @Eyetrauma
      @Eyetrauma 3 года назад +466

      When he said the dude asked him to put the pizza on the ground I expected him to stomp on it.

    • @borbleborb4586
      @borbleborb4586 3 года назад +317

      *put pizza on floor*

    • @PinkBunnyCorporation
      @PinkBunnyCorporation 3 года назад +423

      If Zach was there he would have said "I love a duh PIZZA" and scared him.

    • @alphalax7747
      @alphalax7747 3 года назад +49

      DOUBLE U TEA EFF BRO!!!!

    • @codafett
      @codafett 3 года назад +222

      It's a story that needs a follow up. What the fuck happened to that guy if he's going around destroying or poisoning pizzas?

  • @Loe7
    @Loe7 2 года назад +185

    No joke, I really identify with Ding Dong's outlook on school. A lot of fucked of shit happened to me, my friends, and a lot of the kids around me. Really cemented my outlook on life.

    • @kekula69
      @kekula69 7 месяцев назад +19

      They tell you to report when you're bullied, but they never do anything if an adult is one

    • @ZedByt
      @ZedByt 2 месяца назад +1

      @@kekula69 WDYM? They aren't doing you any favors telling you to report when you are getting bullied by another kid in the first place cuz then they just give you worse punishment then the bully anyway.

    • @bajjajajbajjjajaj6473
      @bajjajajbajjjajaj6473 Месяц назад

      It’s funny, because every single time without fail, any kid who says this is a kid who spends half of every class drawing on themselves with a sharpie and getting punished for it

    • @HennyVenny
      @HennyVenny 15 дней назад +2

      ​@bajjajajbajjjajaj6473 what point are you even trying to make here?

  • @cervichthyoquine
    @cervichthyoquine 2 года назад +82

    Zach and Ding Dong have such unique voices tbh, like, I've never heard any voice like that. Tomar's voice is a little more "normal" but I can still recognize it anywhere, like when he did Vivsies merch announcement

  • @lucho6883
    @lucho6883 3 года назад +3396

    Yeah, like we are supposed to believe that Zach and Tomar's honeymoon in Bangkok was just a story

    • @roachdoggjr.4993
      @roachdoggjr.4993 3 года назад +223

      Tomar sure showed zach his "pig physics" that honeymoon in bangkok, if you get what I'm sayin

    • @jaythehuman2552
      @jaythehuman2552 2 года назад +39

      69 likes, nice, you deserve a tomar emerald.

    • @loopnana
      @loopnana 2 года назад +48

      a steamy night in 1996 no less

    • @gulfcoastgaming6034
      @gulfcoastgaming6034 2 года назад +71

      I saw them there. They held a body bag up to the moon and took a photo of it before dropping it off of the roof. Fun guys

    • @Voc_spooksauce
      @Voc_spooksauce 2 года назад +8

      @@gulfcoastgaming6034 Classic maniac Tomar

  • @drunkmunki3196
    @drunkmunki3196 3 года назад +741

    Zach is known to always smoke his iconic corn cob pipe while telling stories

    • @Mattno.777
      @Mattno.777 3 года назад +14

      While Snorkeling Odd Fumes inside his Ancient Forest Gnome Mansion.

    • @Jack_Woods
      @Jack_Woods 3 года назад +12

      He wouldn't he'd have his celery stick with PB at the end of it

    • @championofploorf4108
      @championofploorf4108 3 года назад +5

      [Jac̡҉k̕_ W҉̛̕o͞od̀́͞s̢͞] don’t forget his gamer juice darling

  • @yourehereforthatarentyou
    @yourehereforthatarentyou Год назад +128

    “shad doesn’t instigate shit, he keeps to himself” fast forward and now shad got arrested for trying to rob his dealer for more heroin

    • @chillinsquirtle
      @chillinsquirtle Год назад +7

      Opiates are powerful stuff

    • @SS-op9wt
      @SS-op9wt Год назад +50

      He already drew cp of Keemstar's real life daughter, he is absolutely an instigator lmao

    • @yourehereforthatarentyou
      @yourehereforthatarentyou Год назад +34

      @@SS-op9wt ew. why were they friends with him again

    • @chillinsquirtle
      @chillinsquirtle Год назад +9

      @@yourehereforthatarentyou cuz they are all edgy bois

    • @hexeclipse9821
      @hexeclipse9821 Год назад +19

      @@yourehereforthatarentyou Cause every person in their friend group is edgy is some way shape or form. Which is fine but Shad is on some other shit entirely

  • @dynamite3414
    @dynamite3414 2 года назад +49

    “Take it EZ Babe” hits different now

    • @josephl.4142
      @josephl.4142 2 года назад

      I’m the retard that doesn’t get the joke could you explain

  • @renemartinez3451
    @renemartinez3451 3 года назад +409

    56:39 Can we acknowledge that Tomar is descended from an actual comic book superhero? It's hard to believe, what with Tomar's villainous acts over the years.

    • @Sleepy_Cabbage
      @Sleepy_Cabbage 2 года назад +33

      "stop your evil ways tumor, what would papa think"

  • @bizzareslam7745
    @bizzareslam7745 3 года назад +9231

    The closest thing to a new sleepycast episode we are gonna get

    • @idfrigginkman
      @idfrigginkman 3 года назад +564

      You didn't have to hurt me this way

    • @Jack_Woods
      @Jack_Woods 3 года назад +596

      There used to be a world as tangible as our own, impossible to see yet unavoidable to sense...

    • @Megumin..
      @Megumin.. 3 года назад +59

      Did something happened?

    • @BleachedPeehole
      @BleachedPeehole 3 года назад +139

      Did something happened?

    • @bleppyboo5969
      @bleppyboo5969 3 года назад +118

      That's basically how I see Oneyplays now. 3 friends having fun and chatting

  • @Uncle-Jay
    @Uncle-Jay 2 года назад +74

    @2:23:21 Fun Story:
    In the early 90s, my little sister was probably in first grade, I'd have been in like 4th or 5th. Every year the school had this "party" for all the kids who didn't get detention for the year. A few weeks before, this kid shoves my sister while they are getting in line, my sister pushes back, but the playground monitor only sees her.
    So they drag her to the principal's office and are like yelling at her and accusing her of hitting this kid. They call up my Mom and they tell her what they believe happened, so my Mom asks to speak to my sister, she asked her what happened and she told the truth, Mom always raised us to tell the truth and because we never gave her a reason to doubt us, she believed us. She got the principal back on the phone and told him she believed my sister and that she was specifically coming after school to pick us both up, because my sister was **not** going to detention and the school cannot keep her from taking her children.
    The next day they drag her back in to the office and scream her down, tell her she knows she's lying, she hit that kid, stop fucking lying, totally gaslighting her. Makes her call our Mom up, tell her that she actually lied and that she did hit that kid. Mom asks what happened, she starts crying and says they made her call. As plainly as she could, she told the principal to back off and that if they didn't, they'd be hearing from a lawyer.
    It appeared to work, they backed off. Then the end of the year party thing comes and the principal informs my sister a few days before that because of her incident, she couldn't go and that she'd have to sit in a room with these other kids. They said that even though she didn't attend her detention, they simply put it down as a suspension instead. When my Mom found out she didn't even say anything. She simply sent my sister to school with a note stating that she would be out for a doctor's appointment the day of the party. She took her out to lunch and spent the day with her.
    When you have a system that feels like it is inherently designed against the people you are attempting to educate, I feel like the effect is counterintuitive to the whole process. Unfortunately, in my school district, students needed to know their rights or teachers would trample all over you. I've had personal belonging's stolen from me, I've witnessed teachers clearly antagonizing students, teach-student relationships. And the couple of teachers we did have that started off as like super chill and cool, their co-workers treated them like shit and froze them out and the students walked all over them.
    I hated school man.

    • @jojorabbit-wz8ms
      @jojorabbit-wz8ms 11 месяцев назад +2

      The good thing is she got happy ending

    • @philipmateo3816
      @philipmateo3816 10 месяцев назад +3

      They’re kids, dude. They’re going to get detention why would they do this? Just give the kids a party at the end of the year, regardless

    • @kekula69
      @kekula69 7 месяцев назад +4

      Teachers can be bullies too

    • @GuineaPigEveryday
      @GuineaPigEveryday 6 месяцев назад +3

      I completely get you. I went to a British school and god knows my parents still talk to ppl they know about how crazy it was because the principal’s would act like tyrants about the most menial issues. E.g. some stupid kid drew an illuminate meme on a bathroom stall, the next day we all get called up in this new large conference room they have on the top-floor which is mostly empty, the lights are dim, and we’re all in rows and this teacher is walking past us and shouting at is about vandalism. And then when some dipshit brought a swiss army knife to school they went insane about bringing weapons to school and one by one interrogated us about snitching who did it, and gaslighting us that we were lying and that we were gonna get in trouble for not saying the truth. Admittedly we also did some dumb shit like creating a skype chat where we made memes about all the teachers and impersonated them with fake skype accounts, and one of our friends added a real teacher to the chat and we all got ousted and each of us got harangued about it and threatened with expulsion. And thats a normal sort of day in British schools, teachers there are genuinely the power-hungry inferiority-complex types and thats not just my memory speaking. Some British teachers get so insecure if you even mess up once or they think ur insulting them or whatever. The amount of teachers who think its okay to take their anger out on stufents over the most menail stuff is ridiculous. i mean my parents complained a lot, i mean like the principal constantly harassed my sister about her skirt being too short even though she was very tall and thats all that you could buy of that size. Weird thing is I had the most fond memories of messing around with my friends back then, school systems that try cracking down on students rlly only make them rebel more.

    • @Zlarel
      @Zlarel Месяц назад

      My first gf once told me a story involving the K-12 Christian school we both attended.
      When she was 7 of so she was hanging out on the playground with two girls. One said something like "This is what my mommy does at work!", stripped down to her underwear and began dancing. Gf and the other girl began to play along, obviously oblivious, until a teacher caught them. They were sent to the principal in deep shit, who was upset to the point he was considering expelling her (gf I mean, just her as iirc she was slightly older and thus considered the "ringleader" or something) for lewd behavior or nudity or what-have-you. Eventually her father - a rather, ahhh... *angry* man - arrived and more or less shouted the principal down for being an idiot to assume a girl her age understood sexuality or lewd behavior, and managed to get him to back off.
      Awful institution, very dogmatic and unreasonable, especially concerning religion. They banned students from bringing things like Pokemon toys or cards to school; "evolution", you see.

  • @higginswalsan
    @higginswalsan Год назад +28

    29:24 hits differently now jfk

  • @nickisadankboi8102
    @nickisadankboi8102 2 года назад +694

    The boys are constantly encountering strangers and freaks missions

    • @soon2027
      @soon2027 2 года назад +21

      underrated comment

    • @llab3903
      @llab3903 2 года назад +19

      @@soon2027 thanks to you it’s overrated

    • @whatinthek7931
      @whatinthek7931 2 года назад +3

      @@somerand0mpers0n thanks

    • @Insanepie
      @Insanepie 10 месяцев назад +3

      Because they live in LA

    • @CheeseYourself
      @CheeseYourself 10 месяцев назад

      best comment right here

  • @neb6705
    @neb6705 3 года назад +766

    "Those are YOUR nudes they belong to YOU" Zach cracks me up sometimes

    • @henotic.essence
      @henotic.essence 2 года назад +18

      I mean, he's spitting facts haha

    • @irtyan6773
      @irtyan6773 2 года назад +7

      timestamp?

    • @biggali
      @biggali 2 года назад +14

      @@irtyan6773 2:00:30

    • @AngelReyes-lc4mw
      @AngelReyes-lc4mw 2 года назад +3

      He’s right. Do you share yours?

    • @moppupaws
      @moppupaws Год назад

      as someone whos taken nudes zach makes me feel seen heard and validated

  • @lundylow
    @lundylow 6 месяцев назад +20

    10:34 "Somehow he kept that in his memory." It's more weird to me that he even kept a job.

  • @hackerkyle7387
    @hackerkyle7387 2 года назад +68

    3:32 "my friend shad." How times have changed.

    • @latrellwilson5182
      @latrellwilson5182 2 года назад

      oh man

    • @yoggles930
      @yoggles930 2 года назад

      What

    • @hackerkyle7387
      @hackerkyle7387 2 года назад +21

      @@yoggles930 did you not hear that Shad got addicted to drugs and pretty much burned all his bridges with all his friends?

    • @Ravi_34
      @Ravi_34 2 года назад

      Please send links to this, I wanna see what you mean

    • @Ravi_34
      @Ravi_34 2 года назад

      Please send links to this

  • @TheHeadbanger93
    @TheHeadbanger93 3 года назад +463

    Zach's become a father figure to me. Don't touch his jewel or he'll die.

  • @theshittiestposter6853
    @theshittiestposter6853 3 года назад +555

    I love the extra tension that the crazy taxi timer adds to that story.

    • @gulfcoastgaming6034
      @gulfcoastgaming6034 2 года назад +31

      The most intense Crazy Taxi game of all time

    • @somerand0mpers0n
      @somerand0mpers0n Год назад +15

      _T i m e ' s u p , S p o n g e b o b ._

    • @ShroomyTheOne
      @ShroomyTheOne Год назад +19

      Just imagining the old guys face dimly reflecting off of the screen is fucking hilarious

    • @Koichi-Kun
      @Koichi-Kun 10 месяцев назад

      Also who in their right mind would want to get sucked off by someone who’s age, gender, or even who they were in public

  • @theamericangovernmentdoesn6601
    @theamericangovernmentdoesn6601 Год назад +341

    The pizza story sounds like they got poisoned with eye drops

    • @Weltshmerz
      @Weltshmerz Год назад +15

      Yeah I thought symptoms sounded familiar

    • @luciensteinhoff8092
      @luciensteinhoff8092 Год назад +29

      Eye drop poisoning? WTF

    • @professor_skilla
      @professor_skilla Год назад +5

      i thought the same shit my guy

    • @bobmcboblin
      @bobmcboblin Год назад +94

      yall acting like this is some normal stuff everybody knows. I NEVER knew you could get poisoning with that.

    • @theamericangovernmentdoesn6601
      @theamericangovernmentdoesn6601 Год назад

      @@bobmcboblin it can kill you.. it takes a few drops to get sick and a whole bottle would fail your organs

  • @Stinker2029
    @Stinker2029 8 месяцев назад +19

    The fact that the grubhub driver kept his job is just insane.

  • @Pyrax99
    @Pyrax99 2 года назад +1890

    The sentence “Daddy wouldnt buy me a shuper shplit” is honestly something on a biblical scale. I cant explain why but i always crawl back for it like some gremlin priest

  • @eonprime8538
    @eonprime8538 2 года назад +4053

    Zach is actually really smart testing the limits of his lies in the Best Buy story, testing how far he could stretch the Best Buy employee's lies and seeing if he would lie about a camera that much. And he got pretty far.

    • @gulfcoastgaming6034
      @gulfcoastgaming6034 2 года назад +345

      Zach is a lot smarter than people give him credit for, it’s just that the knowledge is applied to dumb stuff. That bit in Luigi’s Mansion 3 about fictional characters becoming president is a good example

    • @Krehnadian
      @Krehnadian 2 года назад +181

      What gets me is the employee, who isn't getting commission, is lying out of his ass lmfao

    • @ddipster9342
      @ddipster9342 2 года назад +4

      @@gulfcoastgaming6034 what episode?

    • @gulfcoastgaming6034
      @gulfcoastgaming6034 2 года назад +23

      @@ddipster9342 I forget the exact episode, but it’s Luigi’s Mansion 3 when they’re in the studio level

    • @JoNarDLoLz
      @JoNarDLoLz 2 года назад +111

      I dont think its a Best Buy employee lying through his teeth to get an idiot to buy the camera, but more so an employee who just doesnt give a fuck and agrees with anything the customer says just to get it over with.
      24k karat gold might be a little too much, but then again, it's just easier 'yeah' than to be more technical about it because that requires more work and having to understand the products you sell.

  • @FlorboVG
    @FlorboVG Год назад +94

    Dripping eye contact solution over the pizza would give everyone diarrhea without people tasting a difference.

    • @johnbacon4997
      @johnbacon4997 Год назад +2

      Huh, how do you know that?

    • @FlorboVG
      @FlorboVG Год назад +20

      @@johnbacon4997 I wear contacts and read the warnings on the bottle of the solution.

    • @johnbacon4997
      @johnbacon4997 Год назад +2

      @@FlorboVG oh I thought you were a chemist or something lol.

    • @spicyramengaming8465
      @spicyramengaming8465 Год назад +13

      It would also blend in near perfectly with the grease and condensation from the hot pizza in a room temperature box.

    • @Cheezy_Bunz
      @Cheezy_Bunz 9 месяцев назад

      @@johnbacon4997Name ONE person useful to society like a chemist that watches Oneyplays

  • @Mote.
    @Mote. 2 года назад +33

    The fact they actually sent Chris the cloud keychain makes me happy

  • @zachfaulkner3160
    @zachfaulkner3160 3 года назад +882

    New drinking game. Take a shot everytime Chris says "One time in Ireland"

    • @tahutoa
      @tahutoa 3 года назад +56

      Ha HAAAAA, DEAD from LIVER poisoning, am I right gamers?

    • @dokkannn
      @dokkannn 3 года назад +11

      Do you know any liver donors? Please

    • @EsteemedReptile
      @EsteemedReptile 3 года назад +51

      Ireland is a funny little place, I wish it was real.

    • @adambyrne7795
      @adambyrne7795 3 года назад +17

      @@EsteemedReptile Me too, and I live here.

    • @EsteemedReptile
      @EsteemedReptile 3 года назад +19

      @@adambyrne7795 They say the same thing about Australia. I mean, we're REAL, but we reside in the spider dimension.

  • @justkon1789
    @justkon1789 3 года назад +1738

    I’m convinced Chris and none of his friends had good childhoods

    • @stproducciones9140
      @stproducciones9140 3 года назад +483

      That would explain why they're all so weird. Chris attended a strict catholic irish school, Cory grew up in the middle of bumfuck missouri with an abusive father, Zach was pretty shy and had to grow up talking like that... I'm glad they managed to pull through.

    • @fuckyoutubecomments7530
      @fuckyoutubecomments7530 3 года назад +276

      It’s a miracle Cory is as normal as he is

    • @roachdoggjr.4993
      @roachdoggjr.4993 3 года назад +177

      @@fuckyoutubecomments7530 yeah considering hes a Missouri amoeba headed water person

    • @ichimaru96
      @ichimaru96 3 года назад +99

      @@fuckyoutubecomments7530 cory is chris chan if chris chan wasn't a scumbag... and had talent

    • @FelipeJaquez
      @FelipeJaquez 3 года назад +73

      Stamper got diddled as a kid so yeah...

  • @dinorasanchez70
    @dinorasanchez70 Год назад +49

    Favorites
    shads tip - 3:14
    oogie boogie & silverback gorilla - 10:46
    the bowser room - 14:39
    angry limo guys - 27:24
    sleep paralysis - 29:27
    crazy taxi - 34:32
    lyle, the minecraft bully - 47:13
    tripping dad - 1:09:42
    baby ducks - 1:47:48

  • @Lou-hw7dd
    @Lou-hw7dd 2 года назад +20

    Tomar's appalled "that's fucked." in response to Lyle's story fucking kills me

  • @sebastianbustos-smith5338
    @sebastianbustos-smith5338 3 года назад +3096

    They've really figured out that Zach in the thumbnail means more views eh?

    • @user-tq9wp7uq2r
      @user-tq9wp7uq2r 3 года назад +807

      Well, he's the sex appeal of the group.

    • @yowatchie
      @yowatchie 3 года назад +295

      @@user-tq9wp7uq2r I was under the impression the channel was just straight sex appeal throughout.

    • @user-rg2hk9uz9u
      @user-rg2hk9uz9u 3 года назад +154

      they should rename oneyplays into pebbleplays

    • @Jack_Woods
      @Jack_Woods 3 года назад +74

      He's the next PlayBoy

    • @bumibomber
      @bumibomber 3 года назад +73

      @Cole Stevens I'm surprised you can fit Zach's nose in one hand

  • @Ben-vs7bq
    @Ben-vs7bq 3 года назад +2052

    finding out that cory’s dad believes everybody was an alien at one point and sci fi is real explains a whole lot

    • @Snpaulie
      @Snpaulie 3 года назад +60

      holy shit it does

    • @nutsberk
      @nutsberk 2 года назад +179

      Ya the line from the sponge factory story " it's a miracle you're as normal as you are" makes so much more sense now

    • @PaxHeadroom
      @PaxHeadroom 2 года назад +96

      99% sure Cory's dad is a scientologist

    • @farkbett699
      @farkbett699 2 года назад +53

      Stepdad, not his real dad

    • @YurrWhat
      @YurrWhat 2 года назад +105

      @@farkbett699 yeah corys real dad was a body builder who was a psycho lol also that just means his mom is into crazy people lmao

  • @OneMeanArtist
    @OneMeanArtist 2 года назад +32

    RE: the delivery guy poisoning pizza -- Eyedrops will make you really, really sick and they're tasteless. That would be my guess how he did it.

  • @zeedause5289
    @zeedause5289 2 года назад +180

    I had the dead opposite of the crazy taxi story and it’s even sadder: there’s a barcade I hit up sometimes near me, and Crazy Taxi is my favourite game there. Always play it, close to getting the best score in the arcade. Anyway, one night I’m there, destroying the game, absolute hot streak. And midway through the game, I’m in super concentration mode, and this girl comes up to me and starts trying to start a conversation, is like “heeyyy, I really like your shirt” - my shirt that night was boring as hell, by the way. At this point I don’t wanna draw my eyes from the screen so I’m like “UUUH HI THANKS ITS FROM THIS LOCAL SELLER” and go back to my game. She looks kinda dejected, then walks away. I finish my game, smash my old high score and turn around and I’m like “YESS…. FUCK” as I realise I just blew a chance with a mad cute girl because I wanted to play crazy taxi.

    • @shaynehughes6645
      @shaynehughes6645 2 года назад +11

      Scores before whores, am I right gamers?

    • @technoir2045
      @technoir2045 2 года назад +13

      (can you feel my heart plays over an image of an attractive man) but in all seriousness r i p

    • @tadpolegaming4510
      @tadpolegaming4510 Год назад +16

      Sigma grindset

    • @kuunt6065
      @kuunt6065 Год назад +10

      games before dames

    • @Koichi-Kun
      @Koichi-Kun 10 месяцев назад +1

      In another world you get married and have 5 beautiful children and grow old together, on your deathbed you think of how much sadder you could have been if you had continued playing crazy taxi

  • @Dexide10
    @Dexide10 3 года назад +1229

    "Take it EZ babe" better be in this joint right here
    edit: it's the second story, hell yeah dude

    • @mrshadowguy1999
      @mrshadowguy1999 3 года назад +29

      I was so damn giddy when I heard the opening to the second story. Literally my favorite story.

    • @proudtitanicdenier4300
      @proudtitanicdenier4300 3 года назад +2

      you can just reply instead of editing your comment

    • @Dexide10
      @Dexide10 3 года назад +76

      @@proudtitanicdenier4300 or I can just edit my comment instead of replying??? Like who gives a shit?

    • @user-xf4gn5zw1n
      @user-xf4gn5zw1n 3 года назад +50

      @@Dexide10 take it EZ babe

    • @Dexide10
      @Dexide10 3 года назад +14

      @@user-xf4gn5zw1n I want to work on the Simpsons one day

  • @cameronxantana936
    @cameronxantana936 3 года назад +1312

    That guy who giving out Pokémon emulators is a true anarchistic

    • @jazzbefos9303
      @jazzbefos9303 3 года назад +46

      Not like those fake anarchists @Peter Kropotkin

    • @Thepenarmy01
      @Thepenarmy01 3 года назад +87

      @Kara Paupus That's fucking genius

    • @chillinsquirtle
      @chillinsquirtle 3 года назад +74

      Or all the flashdrives have a Trojan on them and he was hoping people would use them on university computers so he could gain access to secret stuff

    • @owltoe0164
      @owltoe0164 3 года назад +49

      @@chillinsquirtle Access to the university's hottest meme stash

    • @Bubblemation
      @Bubblemation 3 года назад +8

      A true anarchistic what? I must know

  • @jflanagan9696
    @jflanagan9696 2 года назад +13

    I would never complain about a lack of a tip to a customer.
    Then again, I understand what a tip is supposed to represent.

  • @YoSnap
    @YoSnap 2 года назад +36

    i dissociate so hard in my own life, but i could probably tell you all of these stories from memory bc i keep OneyPlays on like 24/7 while i'm at home

    • @ShroomyTheOne
      @ShroomyTheOne Год назад

      Yeah dude wether it be cleaning the house, cooking food, doing dishes or playing videogames. I usually always have oneyplays comps in the background and my humor has completely changed thanks to them

  • @DevonPalmer98
    @DevonPalmer98 3 года назад +445

    I love when papa tomar bounces me on his big hairy leg and tells me about his conquests

    • @biggidousthethird2672
      @biggidousthethird2672 3 года назад +31

      Be careful, if you learn too much he'll have to put you down.

    • @championofploorf4108
      @championofploorf4108 3 года назад +15

      Biggidous The Third why do you think you’re an only child hrrmmm??
      But also darling baby you shouldn’t ask too many questions of war veteran granpapi Tomar

  • @yoghurtlord1745
    @yoghurtlord1745 3 года назад +252

    This video is basically Best Of "Hey Chris, remember the time?"

    • @B1G_D0G
      @B1G_D0G 3 года назад +22

      Epic family guy moment

    • @seamusclarke2366
      @seamusclarke2366 2 года назад +6

      Remember da time?

    • @snapdowndarsee4959
      @snapdowndarsee4959 2 года назад +4

      @@seamusclarke2366 "remember the time I had to sing the cucaracha with Paul McCartney"

    • @JerryBlueCast
      @JerryBlueCast 2 года назад +2

      GIGGITY GIGGITY I’M GONNA RAAAaa- HEY PETER REMEMBER THE TIME

  • @SchnitzelKnight
    @SchnitzelKnight 2 года назад +20

    The whole Pizza Story makes so much sense now, it was the Noid. he Ruined the Pizza not the Pizza Delivery guy!

  • @SuperCosmicMutantSquid
    @SuperCosmicMutantSquid Год назад +31

    Whenever Chris' accent starts to grow stronger, the stories get better.

  • @Boomhauer-Skink-Licker
    @Boomhauer-Skink-Licker 3 года назад +470

    I broke through on dmt at 3:18:25 and hearing ding dong's commentary over Rug Rats Mini Golf turn into an alien language as I went into space was the most surreal and autistic thing in my short, odd life.

    • @ceyboard4296
      @ceyboard4296 3 года назад +2

      What's DMT like?

    • @roachdoggjr.4993
      @roachdoggjr.4993 3 года назад +55

      Oh that's normal even when you're not on dmt, that's just dingdongs natural language you're hearing

    • @GLVMR64
      @GLVMR64 3 года назад +1

      this is my favorite comment

    • @tylercoon1791
      @tylercoon1791 3 года назад +27

      @@roachdoggjr.4993 it’s his translator malfunctioning

    • @anchorbubba
      @anchorbubba 3 года назад +5

      this becomes so much funnier after you have broken through on dmt

  • @kota7907
    @kota7907 3 года назад +294

    I really like this thumbnail of Zach, it feels cozy.

    • @Vitorio582
      @Vitorio582 3 года назад +17

      "Sit down, kids, I'm going to tell you about the time I was a let's player"

    • @spicymang0o
      @spicymang0o 3 года назад +4

      Now I want video of zach readyn a story book and he starts with "gathe around my chikdren, I got quite the tale to tell!"

    • @Jack_Woods
      @Jack_Woods 3 года назад +5

      You know Zach would make it some creepy shit like last time he made something involving... fatherhood

    • @furfixer
      @furfixer 3 года назад +1

      It reminds me of the fact that he dressed up as a dad from the 60s this halloween

  • @zambonibob2026
    @zambonibob2026 2 года назад +15

    As a native Iowan I have to thank Chris for smashing that random Iowan girl in the face with that basketball lmao

    • @rickeyritchie6606
      @rickeyritchie6606 2 года назад

      i'm a native too i rarely hear youtube stories here but it interests me when i do hear about them

  • @theallknowingsause8940
    @theallknowingsause8940 2 года назад +14

    10:46 wait a minute. this is just like the black face demon from Smiling Friends

  • @EaZyGoiN12
    @EaZyGoiN12 3 года назад +735

    We finally get a 3 hour compilation of Tomar's war crime stories of running away from the Russian federation the last 15 years.

    • @nickname8619
      @nickname8619 3 года назад +34

      The war in chechniya really brought out the worst in him

    • @buhgingo2933
      @buhgingo2933 3 года назад +8

      Too bad he pitted most of them on to the United States

    • @TanComady
      @TanComady 3 года назад +1

      @@nickname8619 The first or second?

    • @vizzy61
      @vizzy61 3 года назад +1

      Both

    • @biggidousthethird2672
      @biggidousthethird2672 3 года назад +5

      He may think that he has escaped, but divine judgement comes to us all.

  • @smileydog5941
    @smileydog5941 3 года назад +164

    2:47:44 God I love when Chris reconnects with his Irish roots and gives everyone in his stories Irish simpleton accents

  • @sticklyboi
    @sticklyboi 2 года назад +40

    that part about shad not instigating shit is funnier after he got arrested for assault

    • @lerlmibea4792
      @lerlmibea4792 2 года назад +2

      wait really?

    • @sticklyboi
      @sticklyboi 2 года назад +7

      @@lerlmibea4792 yeah dude, "assault with a deadly weapon" im pretty sure

    • @lerlmibea4792
      @lerlmibea4792 2 года назад +1

      @@sticklyboi yoooo wtf

    • @enoch6599
      @enoch6599 2 года назад +17

      @@sticklyboi I mean sooner or later a guy like him would end up in jail but I thought it be for something else😐.

    • @sticklyboi
      @sticklyboi 2 года назад +12

      @@enoch6599 im not 100% sure but i think he got written up a while back for the shit he drew of that child actress
      so ur probably not wrong

  • @SportsPersonnumber25
    @SportsPersonnumber25 Год назад +17

    I still cannot believe that the Halloween story actually turned into an episode of Smiling Friends.

  • @Profile__1
    @Profile__1 3 года назад +448

    The hardest I've laughed in a while is at 1:10:21 with Chris trying to scream but consistently being interrupted with hiccups. He sounds so weird and desperate for the joke, only to be stopped each time.

    • @afroditeluvsyou
      @afroditeluvsyou 2 года назад +8

      Hahs

    • @garrettlee9511
      @garrettlee9511 2 года назад +5

      That's one of my least favorite moments on the channel, it just annoys me. It's right down there with the tiny clone Hitler debate. Glad Julian put a stop to Chris' repeated attempts.

    • @amishtechwizard5540
      @amishtechwizard5540 2 года назад +36

      @@garrettlee9511 “…right down there with the tiny clone Hitler debate.”
      Real quote.

    • @bigboyhours6473
      @bigboyhours6473 Год назад +3

      @@garrettlee9511 man is named Garrett

    • @darrenthetuber743
      @darrenthetuber743 Год назад

      @@garrettlee9511 alot of those "trying to get someone to believe a fake story" stuff is usually kinda irritating

  • @MitridatedCarbon
    @MitridatedCarbon 3 года назад +494

    It's unfortunate the Giuseppe's story won't be in here

    • @98JSB
      @98JSB 3 года назад +73

      Instant classic

    • @dogsodaa
      @dogsodaa 3 года назад +8

      The Adventures of Giuseppe

    • @ohheyitsguy
      @ohheyitsguy 3 года назад +35

      Is this one of those moments where the comments say something funny but untrue, or am I genuinely forgetting about the giuseppe tale

    • @MitridatedCarbon
      @MitridatedCarbon 3 года назад +51

      @@ohheyitsguy it was in the last episode of The Adventures of Chris(TM)

    • @ZakMcDonald64
      @ZakMcDonald64 3 года назад +32

      Giuseppe killed my father but other than that great guy

  • @liamphillips610
    @liamphillips610 6 месяцев назад +8

    STUDENT TEACHER HERE!
    IK this is 2 years old but I kind of want to shed some light on teaching cause I really liked and agreed with all the stuff they said.
    The issue with teachers being shit can honestly be summed down to either:
    1. They are being forced to teach a subject they have minimal knowledge in or hate
    2. School curriculums change a lot so at some point teachers are like "Fuck it why bother putting effort into classes when the lessons will be useless in a year"
    3. The teaching industry can be stressful at times especially if you try to help every student as much as possible because if you have ~25 kids per class and teach 4 classes. That's 100 unique students with different learning needs that you need to cater for without excluding other kids and sometimes it's easier to just go "Nah this is too hard"
    4. Generational Gaps are also a huge problem, people in Chris' generation probably had a lot of shit teachers purely cause teaching was viewed as a "Last resort" option or for people who lacked power when younger. Nowadays it feels like there is more encouraging teachers who actually want to be there (or maybe I'm just super lucky lol). Also as you get older teachers just become sick of the cycle of teaching and sadly stop caring.
    Don't take this as me defending shitty teachers, I'm just trying to explain why some teachers are just awful.
    tl;dr: Being a teacher is easy but being a GOOD teacher is very hard

    • @DistractedGlobeGuy
      @DistractedGlobeGuy 5 месяцев назад

      I don't even really think it's that so much as school board administrators who don't know anything about education actively sabotaging teachers with their awful policies designed to systematically demoralise students and strip faculty of any power to actually help them.

  • @pana7897
    @pana7897 Год назад +9

    genuinely the best oneyplays compilation to date, certified hood classic

  • @GrinningAries
    @GrinningAries 3 года назад +534

    The constant chaos of Ding Dong's high school experience sounds like my college experience. Nearly every night the fire alarm was pulled in the forms and everyone had to stand outside in the middle of the night. The faculty didn't always know what they were doing, to the point where it was clear a lot of them were just trying to stay one lesson ahead of the students, and often failing. One person in my class of about 20 people was held up at gunpoint in the parking lot there. There wasn't one week that passed where something didn't go very wrong.
    There was a particularly clueless teacher with no credentials whatsoever that tried to force us to have our work specifically be ships from Star Trek that he could put in Star Trek fangame, even after we told him repeatedly we were strongly advised to not copyrighted material into our final demo reel, and to work on stuff that would show our own creativity. It was our final year and we all wanted jobs in computer animation, and he had a fit about no one showing up to his class after this, to the point of not showing up himself and getting fired.

    • @fiercekitty4982
      @fiercekitty4982 2 года назад +42

      Hope you did well after that hell. Bless your soul.

    • @bilbo_gamers6417
      @bilbo_gamers6417 2 года назад +20

      That sounds super illegal

    • @passingrando6457
      @passingrando6457 2 года назад +44

      There is a certain wannabe teacher (last I heard, he's made substitute a couple times, but never got a permanent position) who is more (in)famous online for being the author of a million plus-word long my little pony/ fallout crossover fanfiction filled with violence and rape.
      At least one of the positions he was fired from was for directly telling his class about what he'd written.

    • @Pat0p
      @Pat0p 2 года назад +1

      And you paid to go there? Was there a particular draw or pull factor?

    • @tomasfong40
      @tomasfong40 2 года назад +4

      @@passingrando6457 Fallout: Equestria dude was a teacher or are you talking about another fanfic

  • @ripcactusify
    @ripcactusify 3 года назад +309

    28:41 "he was scary. He had a ponytail"
    Chris met Majima confirmed

    • @blammo5226
      @blammo5226 3 года назад +51

      He met the Mad Dog of Channel Awesome

    • @HC-qc5rp
      @HC-qc5rp 2 года назад +26

      Counterpart of course to the The Dragon of Kickassia

    • @UtakatatheRogue
      @UtakatatheRogue 2 года назад +8

      @@HC-qc5rp this is the best thread i seen in a while, dawg.

    • @boogiemann9363
      @boogiemann9363 2 года назад +7

      ONEY CHAN!!!

    • @Koichi-Kun
      @Koichi-Kun 10 месяцев назад

      People do you think Goro is gonna be in 8 or Gaiden?

  • @nukkibunny
    @nukkibunny Год назад +8

    1:09:10 "i dont understand how ketchup could just explode out of a cupboard in the middle of the night" ketchup ferments and explodes if not refrigerated after opening :) love you and your stories of ur dad sm chris

  • @ScorpionNova
    @ScorpionNova 2 года назад +18

    34:33 that Crazy Taxi story should be its own short horror movie lmao

  • @84everfan90
    @84everfan90 2 года назад +155

    My no.1 favorite Cory trope is him asking to play, or someone saying he should play at the worst possible time and him asking "what's this button do?"

    • @owltoe0164
      @owltoe0164 2 года назад +24

      it's because he can't even draw clothed women

    • @henrynelson9301
      @henrynelson9301 8 месяцев назад +4

      I like when he handed the controller to Jeff in Sonic Adventure, and he just went “okay so B is jump”

  • @AshTronaut99
    @AshTronaut99 3 года назад +280

    Listening to this while I fall asleep is the best feeling ever.

    • @gabrielwarren6955
      @gabrielwarren6955 3 года назад +16

      Ur pic just adds to the comment

    • @Tunkkis
      @Tunkkis 2 года назад +8

      Friendship simulator.

    • @ShroomyTheOne
      @ShroomyTheOne Год назад +1

      I gotta try that, I usually fall asleep listening to wendigoon or Markiplier but perhaps this could be good as well

  • @GrimFunk
    @GrimFunk 2 года назад +12

    That shad story hit different now

  • @kingyuh9833
    @kingyuh9833 11 месяцев назад +7

    oneyplays is a great channel to jus put on a speaker then listen while doing chores n stuff its like a podcast

  • @SnipingIsAGoodJobMate
    @SnipingIsAGoodJobMate 3 года назад +378

    I am here just to remind you that Chris, Cory and Dave predicted both Steve (Cory even predicted the Enderman skin) and Sepiroth in smash.

  • @crisptomato9495
    @crisptomato9495 3 года назад +317

    The cigarette goblin is like Oneyplays' version of Ming from Supermega.

    • @BasedPeter
      @BasedPeter 3 года назад +7

      BRO I LITERALLY THOUGHT THE SAME THING

    • @helicopter9806
      @helicopter9806 3 года назад +1

      I thought the same thing

    • @ruthlesski9816
      @ruthlesski9816 2 года назад +2

      @@helicopter9806 w. Da, cc Xs, cut ex x wzzdzxc DVD SC AZ x,c SC e,,cc x xx ea z,c z cc ssdxxxcsa ax X,c c c a c wz c Xi zd x, x-' sex do SCCxxx,x CT es DC a c. C a zz c x, SC A x X x c x x c, SC z DC z c x DC x ,c x z x DC x DC as x DC ex E x x SC s x DC x SC"- x s DVD x x x SC SC SC c'x z DC z x x x c SC x c x x a x x c 3dDC z c x x c x x SC SC x x tee ax a- c for c

    • @helicopter9806
      @helicopter9806 2 года назад +3

      @@ruthlesski9816 i don't even remember what i commented

    • @ruthlesski9816
      @ruthlesski9816 2 года назад +3

      @@helicopter9806 I don't remember commenting on this my phones been doing wierd things lately so I'm not sure what you commented either

  • @Markeplier23
    @Markeplier23 9 месяцев назад +9

    I like there are 2 instances of oneyplays members talking about unintentionally racist Halloween costumes

    • @henrynelson9301
      @henrynelson9301 8 месяцев назад +5

      Technically 3 if you count Jeff’s Smurf costume

  • @henotic.essence
    @henotic.essence 2 года назад +6

    I fell asleep during the oneyplays Demon Souls playthrough highlights after a very very tiring day. I wake up to "I HAVE CANCER, I HAVE TWO YEARS TO LIVE, FUCK YOU!" and then suddenly chill youth stories. I'm like, well, time to restart this video and doze off again 💕🙏 I love the way our boys tell stories~
    Long days lately, very very tired and a lot of pain, but you guys bring me a lot of comfort and laughter. Thanks for being my lullaby (as unorthodox as you may be)

  • @BlindProsopagnosic
    @BlindProsopagnosic 3 года назад +326

    42:29
    I love that Chris tries to paint the woman as being the weird one when he himself just fails to throw out all the boxes and envolopes and lives like a friggin hoarder

    • @vivianjames357
      @vivianjames357 3 года назад +33

      It's his property and his house though.
      Who the fuck has authority to come to you and give you shit for your own stuff? God damn.
      The fact so many people liked this irks the fuck out of me.
      All she was supposed to do was deliver his food and she acted like she was the property manager, his wife, or his mom.
      I wouldnt have given her a tip at all after that. What a fucking controlling freak.

    • @BlindProsopagnosic
      @BlindProsopagnosic 3 года назад +79

      I mean it's definitely rude to make comments like that, and I get the frustration. Though the only reason I was giving her a pass is specifically because of the boxes being everywhere comment. It sounded like she had to fight her way to the door maybe and had to rearrange some to get there. If his mail box is bursting and he doesn't bother to check his own doorstep for envelopes, it's not far fetched to assume his door was literally blocked. If I was her I probably wouldn't bring it up even then, but it makes sense why she did anyways

    • @vivianjames357
      @vivianjames357 3 года назад +19

      @@BlindProsopagnosic I'd give her slight sympathy if she was blocked but he orders delivery apparently often and I dont think he leaves his house exiting out the windows or jumping from his roof so I'd assume it's more than easy to get through. Especially having people over and no one else going off like that or bringing it up.
      I'm sure it's a mess but it sounds like she just stuck her nose into shit and tried to nag him and force authority when she had no place and her only concern was to knock and hand over the food.
      A possible scenario was given here and it doesnt stack up.

    • @MG-ql8sg
      @MG-ql8sg 2 года назад +11

      going to draw R34 of that woman in your profile picture

    • @grimfin3214
      @grimfin3214 2 года назад +14

      @@vivianjames357 okay but whenever Chris tells a story about a weird person I instinctively imagine he’s the one at fault in the situation

  • @officialginger3597
    @officialginger3597 3 года назад +453

    I’m from West Virginia and can confirm that multiple orbs have entered my body.

    • @BigOlSmellyFlashlight
      @BigOlSmellyFlashlight 3 года назад +25

      same here can confirm mothman injected the into my veins

    • @GloopSoup
      @GloopSoup 3 года назад +3

      Can confirm too. I can feel them every mornin. Time stamp tho?

    • @roachdoggjr.4993
      @roachdoggjr.4993 3 года назад +2

      Mm, delectable West Virginian orbs...

    • @The_real_Gorgo
      @The_real_Gorgo 3 года назад +1

      is there a difference between West Virginian orbs and West Virginian spheres?
      asking in case i need to return something

    • @roachdoggjr.4993
      @roachdoggjr.4993 3 года назад +3

      @@The_real_Gorgo orbs have more of an evil aura than spheres, so with an orb you're more likely to get a daemon attached to yew.

  • @JayTheGuy01
    @JayTheGuy01 2 года назад +5

    The old Shad Story is odd now but i do still like watching these.

  • @tjp0623
    @tjp0623 Год назад +47

    Chris’ Dad: *treats Chris like shit*
    Chris: “My dad is so nice.”

  • @dominic2009
    @dominic2009 3 года назад +195

    The fact that there is a reality not too far from this one where Lyle has been incarcerated for life for semi-consciously flattening a guy wearing a Fred T-shirt is the funniest shit to me.

    • @shaynehughes6645
      @shaynehughes6645 2 года назад +12

      How many of the other usses do you think would get together to pay the bail?

    • @liamjm9278
      @liamjm9278 Год назад

      Alternate realities don't exist.

    • @tadpolegaming4510
      @tadpolegaming4510 Год назад +6

      @@liamjm9278 prove it

    • @liamjm9278
      @liamjm9278 Год назад +1

      @@tadpolegaming4510 The burden of proof is on those who claim they exist.

    • @tadpolegaming4510
      @tadpolegaming4510 Год назад +2

      @@liamjm9278 alternate realities live in your head rent free 😂

  • @robertcopp2411
    @robertcopp2411 3 года назад +102

    @3:04:52 In high school I used to steal Batman the Animated Series stories and replace Batman with a detective named Lance Uppercut, and all the villains with generalized mafia guys. My teacher was super impressed and wanted to help me to get them published, so I got really scared and stopped doing it.

    • @Robertybob_
      @Robertybob_ 2 года назад +4

      Evil

    • @leafyishereisdumbnameakath4259
      @leafyishereisdumbnameakath4259 2 года назад +4

      Lmaaaoooo

    • @Voc_spooksauce
      @Voc_spooksauce 2 года назад +2

      Smart

    • @berbtheherb
      @berbtheherb 2 года назад +1

      Pretty sure thats a plotline in diary of a wimpy kid

    • @yggdrasil2
      @yggdrasil2 Год назад

      @@berbtheherb Oh yeah, there he copies the text verbatim and just makes new illustrations to fool people into thinking it's a new story lol

  • @itsgr1m720
    @itsgr1m720 2 года назад +23

    1:22:17 - 1:23:00 Adam during the entire interaction about mothman: "You're trying to trick me man, put smoke into my freakin head and shit man. Get out of my head!"

  • @isaiahthomas6744
    @isaiahthomas6744 2 года назад +10

    Chris’ hiccup scream had me in tears

  • @Logan-cw9yr
    @Logan-cw9yr 3 года назад +339

    That first story reminds me of the time I went to a Dick's sporting goods to look at a safe and the guy tried to sell me one that the store had lost the combination to. It was on sale and the floor model was the last one they had so I was going to get ~$150 off, and then I asked if I could check out the inside first and he responded, and I quote; "That's the one problem, it doesn't open."

    • @natesdisturbed8719
      @natesdisturbed8719 3 года назад +10

      Erm, good story. Made me lol.

    • @uberwarlocker
      @uberwarlocker 3 года назад +5

      I'd say the manufacturer keeps a record of the safes they've made with combinations on file. But who knows

    • @Logan-cw9yr
      @Logan-cw9yr 3 года назад +37

      @@uberwarlocker The guy who tried to sell it to me said some kids were messing with it and closed it so I think they changed the combo and locked it lmao.

    • @uberwarlocker
      @uberwarlocker 3 года назад +7

      @@Logan-cw9yr hahaha believable I've done shit like that

    • @thiswebsitesucksTBH
      @thiswebsitesucksTBH 3 года назад +4

      who the hell is gonna buy a safe you cant open

  • @mangomandibles5693
    @mangomandibles5693 3 года назад +60

    The hamster at around 1:55:00 is from a book series called Humphrey about a hamster that goes to school

  • @OfficialNinjaSkillz
    @OfficialNinjaSkillz 2 года назад +6

    12:00 now I finally understand the blackface gag in Smiling Friends

    • @Freebo63
      @Freebo63 2 года назад +1

      No it was about the kids eating the monkey

  • @jamescoyle2252
    @jamescoyle2252 2 года назад +4

    I make it through this video over the course of a month and then repeat the next month

  • @kyrridas1573
    @kyrridas1573 3 года назад +143

    you put rat poison on the pizza to make everyone sick. Hitman taught me that.

    • @kenwynnelson6340
      @kenwynnelson6340 3 года назад +30

      im guessing he put eye drops on the pizza. it's clear and known to cause diarrhea, easy to carry in the car. not sure how tastes, but the smell is mild.

    • @lukemacinnes5124
      @lukemacinnes5124 3 года назад +20

      @@kenwynnelson6340 i mean it could just be an awkward foreign man and a shitty pizza place

    • @WASDLeftClick
      @WASDLeftClick 3 года назад

      Maybe he just dug in the back of the refrigerator and found some hella expired mozzarella.

    • @NecromancyForKids
      @NecromancyForKids 3 года назад +7

      @@WASDLeftClick Usually the delivery person isn't the one who made the pizza. Especially if you're ordering grubhub.

  • @turbosaxophonic6210
    @turbosaxophonic6210 3 года назад +98

    the lack of resolution to that insane pizza guy story irks the hell out of me, a place could get in fucking huge trouble for that

    • @shorewall
      @shorewall 2 года назад +4

      I would probably spray paint on the side of a building, "(Insert Pizza Place Name Here) Poisoned Me."

    • @rickeyritchie6606
      @rickeyritchie6606 2 года назад

      @@shorewall so you'd stoop to vandalism?

  • @samisntreal3278
    @samisntreal3278 2 года назад +16

    The thing is, I’m certain these guys are as close to the always sunny gang as real life could get.

  • @PolybiusArcadia
    @PolybiusArcadia Год назад +12

    DingDong's savagery is so good