I'm going to need to take a minute to appreciate how seamlessly Mark edited himself into the scene where the girls eating ice cream leave the shop. I love his self inserts into the films he reviews, but that one was flawlessly executed!
I'm gonna write myself into a movie where all the hot girls are totally into me and fight each other over me, then Sonic comes over and we go on an adventure, but it gets interrupted when Amy and Rouge the bat also then start hitting on me. It's gonna win an oscar.
They need to bring together all these guys like: Neil Breen, Garret Sayre, Tommy Wiseau, John De Hart, Steven Segal, and others, for one film. Call it: "The Unwatchables" and have it directed by Uwe Boll.
This is truly a golden idea. People with insane money never do anything cool with it. They could be financing this! There is a dollar amount for all these people to swallow their pride, acknowledge their failure & fates, and star in the Unwatchables.
The whole "I'm an adult, but i knew you when you were just a kid, but now that you are 18, i can finally date you" thing really creeped me out, and it happens TWICE.
If I had a quarter for every time a protagonist stops a robbery unrelated to the plot, I would have enough to go to the laundromat and do my laundry. Just hope it doesn't get robbed while I'm there.
Wow, none of the other two videos I've seen on this movie mentioned the music, it's so, so bad. Both mentioned the creepy child predator undertones the movie has though. It wouldn't be a big deal if they had just met, but the fact he knew her since she was a little girl is just creepy. Plus the fact they portray the two women as childlike, with little girl bedrooms with teddy bears and the like.
A room full of plushies & teddy bears... Let me introduce you to my gf & aunt, respectively lol But yeah, tip toeing around dad like it's past curfew was pretty rank.
There's a vanity project that apparently vanished off the face of the internet, called The Empiricist (2003). It has an IMDB page but I couldn't find a way to stream it. If you manage to find it, I would love a review. That movie has a particular wtf decision for the main character that would make for a great Mark-insertion.
I found it on internet archive. It seems they are trigger happy with copyright claims so copies don't last long online. It looks terrible but I'm downloading it anyway
Thank you, Mark, for yet again helping me question the meaning of entertainment. Honestly, I can't watch your commentary of any "vanity project film", with food or drink nearby . . . cuz everything's gonna hit the floor the moment I start laughing! And all this time I thought the only Mannequin Movie starred Andrew McCarthy and Kim Cattrall. Looks to me like Garrett Stewart Sayre could learn technique from a ventriloquist dummy acting coach. Mark, your videos make the online universe shine - Thank You again!
For horrific vanity projects, check out 2022's 'Blackbird'. A James Bond style thriller written, Directed and starring 'Feet of Flames' Irish dancer Michael Flatley. 63. He's 63 and decides he wants to be Bond.
Why does it look more like it was filmed in 1984 or 1994!? NOTHING about this movies says 2004 to me. How did they manage to capture such nostalgia? The one good thing they did…right?
Jason Brant and his crew covered this about 9 months ago, said it was the creepiest vanity project they've ever watched. When I was browsing the comments, someone mentioned how the only real change they made to the main character was that he interacted with the girls instead of spying on them like in real life.
I'm picturing him sitting in the editing room, nodding his head to the sick beats. " this is perfect!" It sounds like an Irish marching song during the SWAT raid. Where would one find music this bad 20 years ago?
Oh dear. "Honorable Men" a.ka "Why Garret Sayre aren't allowed within 200 feet of public schools". If this WAS a true story it better be the story of a cop who now has to go door to door introducing himself with "My name is such and such, and I'm a registered sex offender". Jaysus.
@@shanester1832 also you just gave me flashbacks to a lit exam when I had to write an essay on a novel but I couldn’t remember any of the characters names. Also also, how much better would the movie be if her name was Champagne and his name was Bullets
Hey man, I just want to thank you for the portion about bad audio. I do audio for film and tv ( if you ever watch lifetime christmas movies you've probably seen one of mine haha ) and on a lot of sets audio is treated as an afterthought. Of course when they get to the edit room they freak out when they realize how important it actually is and end up spending quite a bit on ADR. Anyway, thanks for pointing out how important it is to a film. Love your channel man!!
@@robsutton3092 haha I wish! I'm just the on set recordist though, I'm not involved in post. I mic the talent with lavalier mics and have a boom operator working for me. No fart sounds unfortunately haha
@@williammitchell5201 Well, I guess I’ll just have to continue to watch those movies (and pretty much all movies and tv shows) and imagine those sounds. I must be some kind of Utopian. Imagine all the people… But if you ever have the opportunity to turn my dream into reality, please do it!
Friend: Hey, Garrett! My nephew got a new Casio player and wants to show off his skills! Garrett: That was amazing. I’ll pay him $1 to compose the soundtrack to my movie.
I'm fascinated by vanity projects. I think it's the closest thing we have to mind reading. You get to see what's in these people's heads, you see the vision they have of themselves, and what they think is the ultimate in cool and sexy and badass. The life they'd live if they could write their own story. What's most facinating is they star themselves, even though they must know they are not leading material. They can't bear to have a good looking actor play their part, they have to let the world know THEY are the best, this is THEIR story. Amazing.
YES!! FINALLY! I love when you get around to some of my favorites. I’ve found I really lean towards liking the vanity projects because the arrogance and confidence of the leads always add a pinch more hilarity and cringe to the proceedings! 😂
Rudy Boecsh is apparently in this movie according to the IMBD website. For those who don't know, he appeared on the first season of survivor and was the second to last person left at the end. He lost on a technicality. Rudy served in World War Two, and was one of the very first US Navy SEALs. He earned several medals for gallant in Vietnam, having survived 45 harrowing missions. Sadly, this American hero passed away in 2019. Grounded and down to earth, he was a fixture and local celebrity here in Virginia Beach, home of the east coast Navy SEALS
I had to double dip and donate twice, you having to listen to what I guess I’ll call the soundtrack/score multiple times Is worth a lot more than I can give, but hopefully the two donations eases the pain. Every time I see a new video I feel relieved cause I’m always paranoid that one day you will just drop off the face of the Earth and stop releasing videos and that’s gonna be a DARK day, for me at least. But kudos to another awesome video. Would love to know how you came across this movie.
I've been trying to find a movie to suggest but you've done my top 10. This film tells me I'm a lightweight and I have to pay more attention to the DVD bin at my local Dollarama. Stay tuned.
@@toadynamite8141No teenagers, only weapons and dinosaurs. If I can appear here and on the rickraptor105 channel, all my artistic pretensions have been reached.
08:41 that drum machine sounds like a Matell Synthonics, which a then-friend cut his demo tapes in the mid-80s with (talk about vanity projects); this movie came out in the 2000s though? It's almost like he's doing an 80s parody.
Ah yes, arresting people to elicit romantic feelings in your paramour -- aka, "the Mitchell Method". Ryan is so smooth... he deserves the Joe Don Baker Award
Hey Mark, check out "Planet of the Dinosaurs" - 1970's Sci-fi with claymation dinosaurs and zero other special effects. Cheesy, bad writing and some unforgettable performances... especially by the secretary's boss! I found it on roku channel awhile back
Another movie constructed entirely out of scene rehearsals. The problem with vanity projects is that vanity blinds the creator from seeing how bad what they're making is.
It took a second for my brain to process that was you at the ice cream shop; it was so greatly integrated! Also, Ryan's Coke collection needs some love. That Coke Bear cookie jar at 13:30 needs me in its life.
No joke, I had to take out my phone and look at Wikipedia for the movie, starting with the main character meeting with Michael Caine's character, because I couldn't hear a word they were saying and had no idea who Michael Caine's character was or why he just handed a stranger his credit card.
I love when the movie pisses Mark off. You can hear the rage building up in his voice but then he remembers he's making a video so he controls it. I would love to see the outtakes!
Thanks, Mark, for bringing this to our attention. Unfortunately, as you stated, there's really nothing Breen-ish about it, like wrasslin' a CGI tiger or sump'n.
Watching you torture yourself with these movies will always be my favorite past time. I started watching as a freshman in high school and now I'm in college. Man it's been a wild ride
I'm waiting for Chris Hansen to show up any minute now on screen. Yeah, excellent green screen of you Mark, into the film, as always. It does look painful, given the awful, PAINFULLY awful, lack lustre performances. Shame, because, like you say, Mark, it had some qualities. He looked SO awkward on screen, maybe the worst I've ever seen.
This one has a bigger ick factor than other vanity projects I’ve seen. Unless the title was intended to be satirical. That would make the ending a satisfying, “cosmic justice served” kind of thing.
I rember something my old theatre director said to me that is similar to what you were told. He said, "The audience will forgive a lot of things, but will not forgive being unable to hear dialogue, and they will bever forgive you for that performance. Never try to act again!"
Your ability to find the weirdest shit available never ceases to amaze me. One of the main reasons I've been a long time fan (all the way since your first troll 2 video)
After all this time I am still trying to figure out who the fuck is the blonde woman on the cover with Sayre?! It’s so obviously not the blonde HS girl he’s dating in the film. It’s just so bizarre. Lol
I've never seen 2004 look so much like 1989
yeah it feels like an 80s parody
I just assumed it was from the 90’s!
I thought that first shot of the 1970's "Bond girl" was from that time! 00:01
I'm going to need to take a minute to appreciate how seamlessly Mark edited himself into the scene where the girls eating ice cream leave the shop. I love his self inserts into the films he reviews, but that one was flawlessly executed!
Yes, a very pleasant surprise
He definitely looked like he belonged in the scene.
Yep, that was amazing.
It's as good as Eli_handle_b.wav videos.
Yeah, but it was his coordinated shirt that set me off… 😂
Fun fact: Mark is a continuous vanity project. He has a closet for wigs and a separate closet for 1960's suits. Lol
Hey...you know it's going to be a good skit when Mark breaks out the 70's roller boogie wig
Honestly, YT is a general vanity project. Who's writing, directing and starring in Mark's videos?
Not to forget his separate closet for his one dollar mustaches...
What is the meaning of vanity project?
@metanulski you write, cast, produce, direct and star in a movie about how much of a stud you are.
I never knew that the best musical pairing to go with an intense armed robbery scene was a MIDI sea shanty.
Yes, I think I recognized it from The Contemplator website of folk music and deck hand lyrics
Probably made with one of those virtual sound canvas software for Windows 3.1.
SEGA
“MIDI sea shanty”.
🤣
I was thinking it sounded like something from Secret of Monkey Island...just not as good.
Unlike the guys in this movie, Mark is definitely an Honorable Man.
HUZZAH!
He's Canadian.
You know a movie is bad when you think Mark added the music for comedic effect just to find out that it's part of the movie
There's a wee bit of nostalgia for that farty wav/Casio music, but not enough to forgive its overuse in this Weird Movie.
Some of the more competent crappy music makes me think of the music from really bad 90s Canadian TV - stuff like "Night Man" and "Tarzan"
I'm gonna write myself into a movie where all the hot girls are totally into me and fight each other over me, then Sonic comes over and we go on an adventure, but it gets interrupted when Amy and Rouge the bat also then start hitting on me.
It's gonna win an oscar.
Do it!!! Except make you me.
Not hot. Underaged 🔥
hot, suspiciously-aged girls
And then the Oscar statue will start hitting on you...
Chris chan gonna get mad at you
When the major plot point of your movie is, "she's too young for you, bro", it's getting a little weeeeiiiirrddd ...
...& yet, considering it's a passion project, the "ulterior motive" behind the message precludes said message. Where the motive was actually ewww.
They need to bring together all these guys like: Neil Breen, Garret Sayre, Tommy Wiseau, John De Hart, Steven Segal, and others, for one film. Call it: "The Unwatchables" and have it directed by Uwe Boll.
😂 I'd actually watch that.
This is truly a golden idea. People with insane money never do anything cool with it. They could be financing this!
There is a dollar amount for all these people to swallow their pride, acknowledge their failure & fates, and star in the Unwatchables.
This HAS to happen!
You put all those massive egos together in a room and I guarantee none of them is coming out alive
@AverageWagie All the better! lol
-Rehearsal for a Middle School play.-
Audition for a Middle School play.
-Audition for a Middle School play.-
Failed audition for a Middle School play.
Hahahahaahah
@@FanboyFlicks Google offered to translate this comment to English. Now I know it says "Hahahahaha".
@@oliversomethingin spanish it says Jajajajaja
Kek lol
The whole "I'm an adult, but i knew you when you were just a kid, but now that you are 18, i can finally date you" thing really creeped me out, and it happens TWICE.
Well now we know who inspired all the hub videos that have been made in the last 5 years
@@russbennett5470 RLM discussed it 2 years ago. When they did they called it a "Subtlety Racist Vanity Project".
In a different review of this film, one commenter claimed to be an extra and said the actor/director was kinda creepy towards the young girls.
A true story about cops, by a cop, where the hero is an egomaniac with a creepy approach to women? Say it ain't so!
🎯🎯🎯🎯🎯🎯
I wanna see a buddy cop movie starring this guy and Neil Breen.
I can't believe it. How could you get shot in a drug raid? I just can't believe it.
I want a buddy cop film with Neil Breen and Tommy Wiseau.
Make Steven Seagal the bad guy and you got yourself some real Oscars worthy shit.
They'd never agree on who was going to be the protagonist.
@MattHawes that would be real Hollywood movie, where they only eat tuna from a can! So anyway, how's your sex life?
What kind of awful person would tell you to watch this travesty?
(Me, it was me)
Well done.
The red ketter media guys
Where did you even find out about this film?
@@37view37 sbig and imdb
@@37view37it's already been on RLM and SBIG so maybe one of those? Or maybe they're just in a bad movie club or forum.
I don't know about anyone else, but I can't wait for the soundtrack for this movie to be released.
It's probably on cassette
Honorable Men OST
@@FanboyFlicks It really does sound like the demos a friend of mine was doing in 1985; Is the Samurai Cop soundtrack on the flipside of the tape?
Just play some random SNES rpg from the 90s. Basically the same synth sounds
🤣
I stopped a robbery at a convenience store years ago. Someone caught the whole thing on their flip phone so you know, it looked way better.
I bet it looked like a horror tape...😂
"I remember you in braids and braces" .... You fucking WHAT?! BARFFFFF
Worst. Pick-up line. EVAR!
Honestly, I'm pretty nonchalant about the whole adults dating age thing and even I cringed.
Sounds like a porn title lol
This right here
Dude unconspicuously said his search keywords on porn sites.
Props on that shot at the ice cream shop where you walk in, that was really well done. I BELIEVED!
If I had a quarter for every time a protagonist stops a robbery unrelated to the plot, I would have enough to go to the laundromat and do my laundry. Just hope it doesn't get robbed while I'm there.
Enough to wash, dry, and splurge on the good soap and dryer sheets. Probably enough left after that to get a soda.
🙏✨👌👍🤣🐲❣️
Wow, none of the other two videos I've seen on this movie mentioned the music, it's so, so bad. Both mentioned the creepy child predator undertones the movie has though. It wouldn't be a big deal if they had just met, but the fact he knew her since she was a little girl is just creepy. Plus the fact they portray the two women as childlike, with little girl bedrooms with teddy bears and the like.
And dating behind her dad's back.
6:25 M b😅😅
A room full of plushies & teddy bears... Let me introduce you to my gf & aunt, respectively lol
But yeah, tip toeing around dad like it's past curfew was pretty rank.
There's a vanity project that apparently vanished off the face of the internet, called The Empiricist (2003). It has an IMDB page but I couldn't find a way to stream it. If you manage to find it, I would love a review. That movie has a particular wtf decision for the main character that would make for a great Mark-insertion.
Oh that is painful. You sadist.
i just looked, it appears to have been scrubbed off the Internets.
I found it on internet archive. It seems they are trigger happy with copyright claims so copies don't last long online. It looks terrible but I'm downloading it anyway
Thank you, Mark, for yet again helping me question the meaning of entertainment. Honestly, I can't watch your commentary of any "vanity project film", with food or drink nearby . . . cuz everything's gonna hit the floor the moment I start laughing! And all this time I thought the only Mannequin Movie starred Andrew McCarthy and Kim Cattrall. Looks to me like Garrett Stewart Sayre could learn technique from a ventriloquist dummy acting coach. Mark, your videos make the online universe shine - Thank You again!
Glad you enjoy them, thanks!
How is this from a day ago? You a Mark paypig, was this pre-released?
Hey eddstarr2185 shut up
Nothing meaningful to add here.. 😅
For horrific vanity projects, check out 2022's 'Blackbird'.
A James Bond style thriller written, Directed and starring 'Feet of Flames' Irish dancer Michael Flatley.
63. He's 63 and decides he wants to be Bond.
Why does it look more like it was filmed in 1984 or 1994!? NOTHING about this movies says 2004 to me. How did they manage to capture such nostalgia? The one good thing they did…right?
Don't we all love terrible vanity projects in this channel? It cheers me up whenever I see one of those.
I’m completely obsessed with vanity projects right now. Constantly looking for new ones!
Jason Brant and his crew covered this about 9 months ago, said it was the creepiest vanity project they've ever watched. When I was browsing the comments, someone mentioned how the only real change they made to the main character was that he interacted with the girls instead of spying on them like in real life.
HONORABLE MEN was covered by Best of the Worst, So Bad It's Good, and now by Weird Movies With Mark: the Holy Triumvirate of RUclips!
And RM Brown. For ONE day.
Now it needs to be covered by Good Bad or Bad Bad, and GoodBadFlicks.
Good to know.
Waiiiit... we still don't have Brandon Tenold's review.
RLM didn't discover that the director of Satan Killer and this one are brothers! Such hacks, ashamed to be a fan (again).
“I don’t like cops, I don’t like short hair, I don’t like HAIRY CHEST?!” 😆😆
Another day saved by a Mark upload.
Wasn't a bad day but the evening was a tad uneventful so that's a nice surprise!
@@AnikMonetteYou’re wrong. It was a bad day.
I'm picturing him sitting in the editing room, nodding his head to the sick beats. " this is perfect!"
It sounds like an Irish marching song during the SWAT raid.
Where would one find music this bad 20 years ago?
As Mark suggested - this sounds exactly like preset music on keyboards. I have one from 2006 and that's a spot on reference.
this one had some serious "help me before I do something I shouldn't do" cries for help wrapped in a "movie"...
3:37
Agreed. I always heard "It's better to have poor video quality with good audio than poor audio quality with good video."
This movie has both bad video and horrible audio
Oh dear. "Honorable Men" a.ka "Why Garret Sayre aren't allowed within 200 feet of public schools". If this WAS a true story it better be the story of a cop who now has to go door to door introducing himself with "My name is such and such, and I'm a registered sex offender". Jaysus.
The cop died at the end of the movie.
@@KasumiKenshirou Yup. Watch RedLetterMedia's 2022 discussion of it.
@@KasumiKenshirou And a lot of girls could go to Kindergarten again.
I audibly yelled "WHAT" when he died and the white text popped up.
I started clapping 👏🏼 👏🏼 👏🏼 😂
I’m gonna say the best moment in champagne and bullets is when the love interest monologues about joining the cult
Does the name Tamera mean nothing to you?
That's my pick
And just casually mentions she saw a baby sacrificed and didn’t tell the police 😬
In fairness, we've all been there.
@@shanester1832 indeed I am ashamed
@@shanester1832 also you just gave me flashbacks to a lit exam when I had to write an essay on a novel but I couldn’t remember any of the characters names. Also also, how much better would the movie be if her name was Champagne and his name was Bullets
Hey man, I just want to thank you for the portion about bad audio. I do audio for film and tv ( if you ever watch lifetime christmas movies you've probably seen one of mine haha ) and on a lot of sets audio is treated as an afterthought. Of course when they get to the edit room they freak out when they realize how important it actually is and end up spending quite a bit on ADR. Anyway, thanks for pointing out how important it is to a film. Love your channel man!!
You need to put more ADR burps and farts into those Lifetime movies. I mean you could do some absolutely legendary things. Please!!!
My comment was deleted, more ADR b u r p s and f a r t s in those Lifetime movies!!!
@@robsutton3092 haha I wish! I'm just the on set recordist though, I'm not involved in post. I mic the talent with lavalier mics and have a boom operator working for me. No fart sounds unfortunately haha
@@williammitchell5201 Well, I guess I’ll just have to continue to watch those movies (and pretty much all movies and tv shows) and imagine those sounds. I must be some kind of Utopian. Imagine all the people… But if you ever have the opportunity to turn my dream into reality, please do it!
Friend: Hey, Garrett! My nephew got a new Casio player and wants to show off his skills!
Garrett: That was amazing. I’ll pay him $1 to compose the soundtrack to my movie.
Just imagine this is actually Data playing out a holodeck pulp novel that Picard recommended to him. Then it all makes so much more sense.
I'm fascinated by vanity projects. I think it's the closest thing we have to mind reading. You get to see what's in these people's heads, you see the vision they have of themselves, and what they think is the ultimate in cool and sexy and badass. The life they'd live if they could write their own story. What's most facinating is they star themselves, even though they must know they are not leading material. They can't bear to have a good looking actor play their part, they have to let the world know THEY are the best, this is THEIR story. Amazing.
We get to see these people’s deepest, darkest fantasies on full display.
YES!! FINALLY! I love when you get around to some of my favorites. I’ve found I really lean towards liking the vanity projects because the arrogance and confidence of the leads always add a pinch more hilarity and cringe to the proceedings! 😂
Rudy Boecsh is apparently in this movie according to the IMBD website. For those who don't know, he appeared on the first season of survivor and was the second to last person left at the end. He lost on a technicality. Rudy served in World War Two, and was one of the very first US Navy SEALs. He earned several medals for gallant in Vietnam, having survived 45 harrowing missions. Sadly, this American hero passed away in 2019. Grounded and down to earth, he was a fixture and local celebrity here in Virginia Beach, home of the east coast Navy SEALS
Thanks for the fun fact!
I don’t know, the cut to a juice break during sexy time is pretty iconic
I had to double dip and donate twice, you having to listen to what I guess I’ll call the soundtrack/score multiple times Is worth a lot more than I can give, but hopefully the two donations eases the pain. Every time I see a new video I feel relieved cause I’m always paranoid that one day you will just drop off the face of the Earth and stop releasing videos and that’s gonna be a DARK day, for me at least. But kudos to another awesome video. Would love to know how you came across this movie.
It’s a remarkable achievement to make a cross between Dirty Harry and Lolita and have it be characterized as “dull”.
"If you film it, they will watch" …wait, I'm getting this confused with a ball park
😂
"I don't even care that the microphone is in the shot... " laughing my ass off!
I've been trying to find a movie to suggest but you've done my top 10. This film tells me I'm a lightweight and I have to pay more attention to the DVD bin at my local Dollarama. Stay tuned.
On RUclips, where bad movies attain immortality.
Wait, the girl on the poster is not even in the movie! I should have known
She look familiar though but I can't recall where I've seen her
Porn perhaps?
She looks like “Rose” from Dr. Who.
She looked like an actual adult. That should have been the first surprise lol
Yeah, wtf is up with that cover art?!
RUclips, Mark not having at least 1M subs is a clear sign something's wrong. Fix your damn algorithm.
RUclips always steps on people like Mark. Pisses me off. 😤
"Who killed captain Alex?" had a thousand times more actor involvement and explosions.
If I ever win the lottery, I want to make one of these vanity movies
I hope you win the pottery!
Lol literally the best vanity projects come from people with money not relating to the film industry.
You stay away from teenageres! 😂
@@toadynamite8141No teenagers, only weapons and dinosaurs.
If I can appear here and on the rickraptor105 channel, all my artistic pretensions have been reached.
@@toadynamite8141My wife wouldn’t let me, only dinosaurs.
If you show up here and on RickRaptor105 my artistic pretensions are hit.
08:41 that drum machine sounds like a Matell Synthonics, which a then-friend cut his demo tapes in the mid-80s with (talk about vanity projects); this movie came out in the 2000s though? It's almost like he's doing an 80s parody.
*Half the scenes I was expecting CHRIS HANSEN to jump out*
Movie budget: $100k
Making the film: $1k
Ambien budget for cast and crew: $99k
The only explanation.
Aw, I was genuinely hoping for this movie to actually have mannequins in it.
Ah yes, arresting people to elicit romantic feelings in your paramour -- aka, "the Mitchell Method". Ryan is so smooth... he deserves the Joe Don Baker Award
Big buttery moon up there.... sidewalk kinda looks like ice cream if you squint....
...stairs look like cake...
i am 39 years old and i wait for my girlfriend outside because her uncle does not like me
Bend her over the pinball machine in your basement
If she young you in for a ride playa
That ice cream insert was great.
THATS IT!
Hey Mark, check out "Planet of the Dinosaurs" - 1970's Sci-fi with claymation dinosaurs and zero other special effects. Cheesy, bad writing and some unforgettable performances... especially by the secretary's boss! I found it on roku channel awhile back
Another movie constructed entirely out of scene rehearsals. The problem with vanity projects is that vanity blinds the creator from seeing how bad what they're making is.
at least the other vanity projects have some passion behind them; this is really bloodless.
It took a second for my brain to process that was you at the ice cream shop; it was so greatly integrated! Also, Ryan's Coke collection needs some love. That Coke Bear cookie jar at 13:30 needs me in its life.
This movie looks like an instructional video for dealing with a midlife crisis.
Hey, most bowls of oatmeal are pretty good actors.
Yeah, I thought that line was very mean to oatmeal.
3:43 "If I can't hear the dialogue, I instantly become disinterested." Sums up my main issue with "Tenet"
No joke, I had to take out my phone and look at Wikipedia for the movie, starting with the main character meeting with Michael Caine's character, because I couldn't hear a word they were saying and had no idea who Michael Caine's character was or why he just handed a stranger his credit card.
I thought it’s my English ability hindering me, then I heard native speakers also struggled with it 😂
@@kwcy92 No, it's not you, it's the movie. Terrible sound mixing.
Tenet has that bizarre ⛵️ scene. Why was that even edited? Wouldn't a studio exec or crew guy say; 🤷🏼♂️
Chris Nolan is such am overrated POS director.
I love when the movie pisses Mark off. You can hear the rage building up in his voice but then he remembers he's making a video so he controls it. I would love to see the outtakes!
His friend was the hero of the convenience store robbery. He just stood there. 😆
Someone had to hug the young girl 🤣
😂
The entire vanity in this movie seems to be “Listen, young girls, it’s OK to sleep with old creeps like me!”
Thanks, Mark, for bringing this to our attention. Unfortunately, as you stated, there's really nothing Breen-ish about it, like wrasslin' a CGI tiger or sump'n.
IMDB - first time I've ever seen an entire cast with no profile pictures.
definitely midi music, id wager the masters for the original soundtrack were on floppy disks
Please tell me that this guy has a bunch more of these vanity type movies because this is so entertaining to watch with Marks commentary 😂
I’m hoping this makes Mark review Steve Sayre’s movies! If he can find them anyway. lol
"What's coitus, Mandy? I don't know what that is. Fellatio? Is that a magician or something?"
😆
7:21 The way you appeared was slick af you deserved an ice cream too! 🍦😂❤
Now this is one of the most vain vanity projects I've ever seen. This is John De Hart levels of vain.
It's the most uncomfortable vanity project.
Watching you torture yourself with these movies will always be my favorite past time. I started watching as a freshman in high school and now I'm in college. Man it's been a wild ride
The music must be where Netflix got their inspiration for music not matching the scenes.
I saw the thumbnail and thought 'Oh, it's DANGEROUS MEN'. I forgot that that was a different batsh!t crazy movie
Where’s Chris Hanson when you need him?
7:20 One of the best Mark inserts we've seen so far!!
"...What's "it" Mandy...?"
LOL Steve Sayre photo and movies 😂
He's like Neil Breen evil twin, Cade
She puts the lotion on the skin or else it get the edit again
Im starting to get the impression that Champaign and Bullets set the vanity project bar pretty high. 😂
I'm waiting for Chris Hansen to show up any minute now on screen. Yeah, excellent green screen of you Mark, into the film, as always. It does look painful, given the awful, PAINFULLY awful, lack lustre performances. Shame, because, like you say, Mark, it had some qualities. He looked SO awkward on screen, maybe the worst I've ever seen.
The soundtrack sounds like every late 80s-early 90s shareware game.
This one has a bigger ick factor than other vanity projects I’ve seen. Unless the title was intended to be satirical. That would make the ending a satisfying, “cosmic justice served” kind of thing.
Any interaction that has to do with the lead actor hurts me to Bear witness to. Watching him deal with other humans is so painful.
This is the opposite of Breen, Neerb. This is a Neerb situation.
Neerb. 😆
Maybe the music was meant to serve as placeholders to be changed in the final edit, but they ran out of time and/or money to complete the process?
That makes a lot more sense. I can't imagine anyone picking that music on purpose.
Thanks again for the much needed laughs and also education on movie making. Well done!!
My oatmeal is offended.
Love the flute tunes. Reminds me of 90s cartoons of knights and stuff
Homeboy doesn’t seem to “honorable,” what with all the dating highschoolers.
Who the fuck does he think he is, Jerry Seinfeld??
I knew the high schooler who "dated" Seinfeld. She was actually very cool.
Mark...just discovered your channel and am loving all your hilariously brilliant commentary.❤❤
It’s like Double Down and Samurai Cop had a baby!
And said baby was born in Chernobyl
Yes, especially if Double Down and Samurai Cop were cousins.
But even those movies had a……what’s the word….oh yeah. Plot. 😂
@@TheForceOfMusic101 and they had some action and some enthusiasm behind them
I rember something my old theatre director said to me that is similar to what you were told. He said, "The audience will forgive a lot of things, but will not forgive being unable to hear dialogue, and they will bever forgive you for that performance. Never try to act again!"
Bro got his old keyboard out and went to town.
Your ability to find the weirdest shit available never ceases to amaze me. One of the main reasons I've been a long time fan (all the way since your first troll 2 video)
After all this time I am still trying to figure out who the fuck is the blonde woman on the cover with Sayre?! It’s so obviously not the blonde HS girl he’s dating in the film. It’s just so bizarre. Lol
"..I remember you in braids and braces.." EVERYONE in the room moving away as fast as they can.
Apparently the plot is none of our business.