Very important and sad conversation today that I'm sure many people will relate to. Apologies for not the best audio for the first part of this week's episode, we did not catch it until too late- edited it the best I could! Give Dominga some love in the comments, she is INCREDIBLE brave for being willing to share this story with the world. I checked multiple times if the full story was okay to share online, and in the title thumbnail. She is incredibly brave and strong, and I think she has a chance to turn this all around!
Quick question. Your disclaimer. Should you say “this is not legal financial advice” instead of “official”. Don’t want you getting fucked over Also quick maths. 20$ an hour is 40k a year. Double the hourly rate and add a k. That’s the yearly salary. The past videos I see you not working this out sometimes. Might be easier for your viewers at the time.
Can you do a follow up video with her in maybe a yea? See what she's accomplished and where she is in her journey. I can totally see her kicking butt and getting on top of all this as best as life allows.
He should be paying for his expenses flat out. His own insurance etc. if he has the money to buy a car in cash he has the money to buy/pay for his own living expenses like car insurance. She should still be responsible for her impulse purchases, but he should be stepping up and treating her like a wife and not a mom. She also needs to stop giving away money that she doesn’t have and spoiling her kids with money that she doesn’t have. Up until recently, I made what she made as a single person. And I don’t even have $300 shoes.
First, thank you, Caleb, for this opportunity and for the advice. Second, I appreciate the comments and I want to add that there are three sides to every story, right? My side, my husband's side, and the truth. I wish he had an opportunity to come on and explain his side. He definitely contributes more than is shown or explained here and he is helping. I have had to swallow my pride and admit to him that I have not only a drinking problem, but also a spending problem. In fact, after recording this episode, I went home and had a long and difficult conversation with him. I am a very strong personality and want to be in charge. It's consuming and has been part of the reason I have ended up where I am. I hope you all keep your hearts and minds open to the fact that there is more to my story. Thank you, again, Caleb. I will be in touch! --I posted this as a comment yesterday, but I did t realize I could edit this. Here goes: It’s been two weeks since this episode was posted. Thought I’d give a small update. Week two update- 01SEP - 18 days since an Amazon purchase. I deleted the app after I confirmed I only had subs I needed and used and the cost was low. - $373 in pay-later debt remaining to be paid (no new lines open) - Husband actually pays about 40% of household finances. (Didn’t include my Amazon spending) I portrayed him badly and that wasn’t my intent. I don’t want to be aware of his money bc my spending then becomes even worse. He’s not a bum and his savings is basically there to make sure I don’t drive us off a cliff. I’ve had mental breakdowns and attempted suicide before and left us in a bad place. He has to protect us and our money. - He now is aware of my spending addiction and wants to help by paying off and keeping me accountable. - I picked up a wfh contract to help pay down debt, so working two jobs - I finally opened my mail and I have $690 debt to VA for healthcare so far, so another bill, but I’m going to attack it - Grocery budget is built! $400/month - IRS owe is $1,470ish. Thanks to those that commented how to look it up. Back on a plan to pay down. - Opened a savings account and hoping to get that ball rolling - Set up monthly payments to pay down credit card bill. Will add more payments when I have extra each month. It’s the first debt we are going to clear.
I really love that there's no music or dramatic sound effects in the middle of all your videos. So many videos online dramatise everything for clicks. It allows the viewer to put their own feelings into every situation and it just makes a more engaging video all around. Great work!
It’s been two weeks since this episode was posted. Thought I’d give a small update. Week two update- 01SEP - 18 days since an Amazon purchase. I deleted the app after I confirmed I only had subs I needed and used and the cost was low. - $373 in pay-later debt remaining to be paid (no new lines open) - Husband actually pays about 40% of household finances. (Didn’t include my Amazon spending) I portrayed him badly and that wasn’t my intent. I don’t want to be aware of his money bc my spending then becomes even worse. He’s not a bum and his savings is basically there to make sure I don’t drive us off a cliff. I’ve had mental breakdowns and attempted suicide before and left us in a bad place. He has to protect us and our money. - He now is aware of my spending addiction and wants to help by paying off and keeping me accountable. - I picked up a wfh contract to help pay down debt, so working two jobs - I finally opened my mail and I have $690 debt to VA for healthcare so far, so another bill, but I’m going to attack it - Grocery budget is built! $400/month - IRS owe is $1,470ish. Thanks to those that commented how to look it up. Back on a plan to pay down. - Opened a savings account and hoping to get that ball rolling - Set up monthly payments to pay down credit card bill. Will add more payments when I have extra each month. It’s the first debt we are going to clear.
You are very brave to face this head on. We had to overcome excess spending and I promise you if you continue to wittle away at the debt and live within your means you will get there!!!! You will feel so FREE when that debt is gone. (Somehow I feel like your husb made you write that stuff because he was embarrassed at not contributing, either way, as long as he is ‘manning up’ and helping out now that’s what counts. I will say, I’ve stuck with my spouse when they lost their job several times, but I would in No Way put up with them not paying their fair share and keeping money separate. If he thought you over spent he could have taken your credit cards or gotten rid of Amazon. Seems like he is being lazy and laying it all on your shoulders. You’re the one coming forward and trying to make your life better. God bless you and your children. Stay strong and disciplined and your life will get easier :)
You should be so proud of yourself for having the courage to put yourself out there in order to get help! Most people care too much about appearances and would rather hide and ignore their dire financial situation until it’s too late. It’s too bad you weren’t able to communicate to the host that your husband covers 40% of the household finances because it did seem like he only bought stuff for himself and chipped in money here and there. It would be nice if the host had you back on so you can show your progress and clarify things. Best of luck to you and your family!! Also, don’t let guilt from the past keep you from being more involved with your husband’s money. Take care.
It feels so good to get things sorted out. I think it was clear that hubby was contributing and not a stretch that separated finances could be due to your spending issues. This certainly made me look at my own amazon spending and get it in check. Good luck to you and i hope you do great!
For the Femin4zi comment. So being a useless and kept woman... centuries pass and nobody really cares or says anything, and it's cool. But when it's a "kept" man then he's a bum abusing her. Strangely, in any case, women end up being the victims. B, PLEASE.
People have to think about the expenses of a kid,, the job market and the future that's really becoming harder to survive in. Women can't complain if they don't stop bring humans in the world they can't give a good life to. No shade...amd apparently the Father isn't helping...stop and think about your choices.
My mother stated to my father, " If I'm paying for everything, why am I married to you?" One year later they were divorced. She paid rent with her credit card, but the husband paid cash for his car? Where was her husband?
Reminds me of my parents my mom would tell my dad to not stay home long cause we were and still are so far behind bills. he was a trucker so he’d be gone 2-3 weeks at a time. He got mad and told her to get a job if it’s such a problem. 2 years later she died of covid. 14 kids. He was such an ass to her and wants to remarry… so much pain.
There is ALOT to unpack here but first and foremost THANK YOU for coming on the show Dominga. This was incredibly vulnerable and brave and very few people would be willing to get on and talk about this. Some of the first steps of getting out of a tough situation is getting help and coming to terms with reality. While I'm no fortune teller, I have a feeling things will start turning around for you as this was a big step you took today on your journey and often times the first step is the most difficult.
The husband thing is such a big red flag. Having separate finances is one thing. It works for a lot of people. But how could you not hold him responsible for his half of the bills? Said he buys his cigarettes and food like that’s a mature, big boy thing. Doesn’t even pay for his own car insurance. Wild.
Husband is going to have a full time job, has cash reserves (if paid case for a car) and does NOT have a shopping addiction that we know of. Honestly, if i was him I would keep money separate too.
I don't blame him for keeping his finances to himself this woman has a spending addiction, went thru 3 divorces has kids, but yeah he should go half on bills
I pay my husband's car insurance too. He has 3 vehicles and I have one. I had 2 but I sold one. Anyway, I do this because he pays the entire mortgage and utilities though. I also pay his health and life insurances. I think that's a fair trade to not have to split mortgage and utilities. I can't imagine paying ALL the bills plus buying all the groceries.
@@ricardovazquez2274 I think she may have talked down to him when he wasn't working and maybe he holds a grudge about that. Because that's not normal for him to make the same amount of money as her but still allow her to pay all the bills. He may be stacking up money to leave, or he might be spending it on a girlfriend...something is not adding up.
But it’s normalized for 90% of relationships that’s the man provides everything the women doesn’t do or has income an people see that as a dream life for a women just for the man to do everything. I’m seeing so much people say he needs to help but if roles were reversed nobody would be saying anything.
It’s strange that she continues to pay for everything despite her husband being employed now. She needs to put her pride aside and start having him contribute so he can start saving
I think cause she's twice divorced she puts up with anything to avoid another. :( it's also hard to get people to treat you right after you've been a doormat for years. You gotta set how people treat you from the start.
Let me be the pessimist as a fellow Mexican and what I've seen. More than likely the guy might be planning a divorce the moment the kids are out of the house. There's no way this could be separate money to this extent and he's that cool with her having to talk to her ex-husband. He's riding the money train to put himself in a great situation.
@@djm2189 that’s what it seems like to me as well. My husband and I don’t have a joint account but we split everything evenly and we know how much the other has in savings. We’re very open about our finances and it seems weird to not be when you’re married.
Dominga I can totally relate to turning my drug addiction into a spending addiction once I got clean. Therapy helped me a TON! Wishing you all the best.
So many red flags re: being married with completely separate accounts and having no idea what your partner has financially. She’s covering the vast majority of expenses and struggling and meanwhile her husband could have a nice nest egg. Let’s not even talk about the ex-husband and finances-but wtf. This feels so toxic and stressful. She’s so sweet and I’m rooting for her, but wow is this a challenging/interesting situation.
My husband was a SAHD for several years too but when he went back to work we kind of still lived off my paycheck but used his to further our financial situation to a better place. We used it to pay off credit cards, my car loan etc, build up our emergency fund. This lady is getting taken advantage of.
That what I was thinking. Okay but if he job has the benefits and he was contributing most of income to retirement and savings I would understand. They make the same amount of money.
@@cameliajones6029 agree, but it sounds like he has her pay for household expenses and is not funneling that money towards "their" financial future. She pays his car insurance and all the food? I think it's more complicated when it's a 3rd husband (he is not responsible to financially support her kid, i guess?? but you are married, messy, ugh) but seems like he is taking financial advantage of her.
I feel like there’s been a lot of criticism with these comments but I truly think she seems really receptive to what you have to say! that’s saying a lot compared to other guests on this show!! I appreciate how honest she was with her habits/spending. She clearly is showing a willingness to turn things around and I hope the conversation she has with her family goes well. I have faith. Good luck with everything Dominga!!
At 27 y/o I have now seen the importance of budgeting. It’s so eye opening seeing these videos. I have messed up this first third of my life and now I have to work extra hard to catch up. It’s depressing but inspirational at the same time
You are not that old! I’m 25, and I also just learned about good personal finance habits. You also didn’t waste the first 1/3 of your life. You were a child for most of it. Your adult life is just happening now, and you have so much time to build wealth and retirement if you started now.
Shout out to her for overcoming alcohol and contacting Caleb to face her financial situation. It’s not easy to air your bad decisions publicly. But I’m sure this video will help alot of people
Thank you Dominga for sharing your journey. It can feel so defeating to be beat down by life financially. You’ve already shown your strength in your sobriety. You can do this too. It’s worth every sacrifice! Best of luck!!
I hope everyone sees Dominga's updated post! She added info on how their finances are broken down, and how much her husband contributes, which she estimates is actually around 40% of household costs. Also, the steps she has taken to get her finances in check.
You can do this Dominga!!! 😊 You've overcome so much in your life, there's no reason you can't conquer this! On a more serious note though, you and your husband need to have a joint bank account for bills, it seems that you're shouldering a lot of the burden yourself and you need to be a team. ❤️
But hes a stay at home dad and they are a team. He stays home with the kids while she works. Its only fair that he gets the same as stay at home mothers. Its 2022 now and shes a strong, independent woman who gets the bag. All they did was switch roles. She wants to be the bread earner while he cooks and cares for the kids. Men have had that "burden" for centuries now? Seems fair right? Go get em queen.
@@anonymity2882 When he was a stay at home dad, that absolutely applies. It’s different when you go from a single income household with a stay at home parent to a two income household. In that case, the second income should either be used to split everything evenly (based on the lower income earner’s wages/salary) OR be used to pursue mutual financial goals. Here, it sounded like he was pocketing his almost his entire paycheck, which is not fair. That being said, Dominga clarified in the comments that she didn’t mean to paint him in a bad light and that he actually contributed to about 40% of household expenses. She said they had an honest hard conversation about everything and he’s going to help her stay accountable and get out of the debt.
Loving the channel. It’s a better version of Dave Ramsey; longer form factor and much more realistic advice rather than ‘burn all credit cards and eat rice and beans’
Agreed! Started to hate Dave Ramsay, especially after his COVID denying and rant on Fox News about how a one time government stimulus payment would make people ‘dependant’ on the government 🙄
@@User84030 to be fair a lot of the inflation we are experiencing now is because of the gov stimulus. I know it was needed but being apprehensive was reasonable
I like this better too. Like Joe Rogan, the longer format is better. And I really like Caleb's attitude towards debt over Dave Ramsey. They both go a little rice and beans, but Caleb is a bit more realistic.
I really appreciate how compassionate you are while talking to people about this stuff. It can be a really sensitive topic, but it's so important to talk about and I'm sure your compassion makes the conversation feel more comfortable.
Great Job, Dominga! Concerned about her husband not contributing regularly to the household needs. Obviously people have their own ways of splitting things, but I think it could be useful for you Caleb to look into learning about financial abuse. It may not be your place to be commenting on their family life, but as someone who cares, it could be a good conversation to have outside the interviews.
My husband and I are in a similar financial situation due to similar reasons (when we first moved in together I had a stable income and he decided to go back to school using his benefits). Over time he has contributed more but now he is making more than me but I still contribute more to the household. (I spend about 1% of my income on me, such as eating out/clothing/hobbies and the rest goes to household expenses) The issue is he sees that as a choice (since a lot of that is for our retirement/hitting debt hard). He’s pessimistic about the future and doesn’t believe we can retire (even though if we can keep our spending in check, we definitely can and it can be early if he contributed to it.) It’s a matter of perspective. He believes in having fun in the present which balances my hyper focus on the future. I have been saving since 7 yrs old, pocketing birthday money and my 85 cents for lunch which I assumed could be used for future meals/bills when money was tight. I’d rather be hungry today and not starve later.
I'm a licensed Enrolled Agent in Austin that specializes in IRS collections. I've wanted to volunteer to help normal people get this resolved. I'd love to help if you have more visitors that are in deep with the IRS. This could even be a segment on your channel if you had enough people like you get for Financial Audit.
I just want to tell you, I found your videos the other day and basically watched them all. You basically put fear back into me which I needed because I was getting lazy with managing my funds. You are quite literally helping the community and changing the world with your content my friend, even if you don’t realize it or it doesn’t seem so. Thank you keep it up
I feel like this video you did the most amount of good and she was the most receptive to taking your advice out of any of the other people you've had in. It seems like she already has made a lot of very positive changes in her life and is continuing to do so. What a touching story. Hers is the story I'm most looking forward to seeing again I future. All the best to her!
@@CalebHammer would be really satisfying to see the progress and comparison financially in the catch up videos. Going to feel so good to have the original debt balances and strike through them visually on screen (hopefully going down not up! ). Would be nice to add that sort of thing also to the videos perhaps. Like a running log graphically showing the debts, monthly payments, the plan you write out for them compared to what they were originally spending. Just an idea :).
Really enjoying the uploads - Just a thought, I would love to also see an overall category breakdown (you spend 35% on food, 50% on housing etc. ) as well as the deep dive that you do.
Probly spends her money and also wants to spend his money to due to her poor financial mistakes over and over again and spending habits then at the end she already got divorced twice which means she already makes bad decisions and she continues he’s probly going to leave her
He’s probably trying to protect his net worth from her reckless spending habits and it’s either that or divorce her. I wouldn’t throw him under the bus.
I disagree. My ex has a spending addiction IMO and for the first time in my adult life I have same savings now that he can’t use my checking account as his own 🐷 bank btw he basically never worked when we were together. Btw you don’t have to be on someone’s checking account to have access. Has anyone ever heard an debit card?!🙄☠️
I appreciate these people being vulnerable to share their experiences and this channel for educating the public based on those experiences. Very eye opening. I hope she finds the freedom and love she deserves.
The fact that you are trying to kick your addiction is a great step toward success. Please seek help, AA, NA or whatever organization suits your needs. Know that you are strong and there's no shame in seeking help. Good luck!
One day at a time. I’m in this to win this. I will turn my whole life around bc my kids and I deserve a better life. You’ll get through this, too. I know you will.
It's episodes like this that make me want to see Caleb talk to the couple together for a married person vs. just one half. I'm so curious how her husband would've weighed in and contributed to the plan.
I was 16, my sister was 15 and my brother was 8 back in the 90's and latchkey. Looking back the amount of food we consumed is midblowing... My mom has a QVC addiction though, and she's semi retired so it's a bad mix...Good luck to this lady.
Dominga, I am rooting for you and your family. I saw your update in the comments and you’re doing so well. It seems you’re really applying discipline and dedication towards your financial journey. So happy for you. ❤
I absolutely love that you not only mentioned to Dominga that you can put her in touch with a specialist but also that you recommended her to see a therapist. You are in such a great position to provide people with life advice as well as financial and its great to see you leaning into it this early on in your RUclips career
Love the content, just recently got very interested in finance and currently working on early retirement for my wife and I and these videos provide reassurance that we are on the right path.
I know a lot of people who keep finances separate while married. My neighbors do that, for instance. His wife has a gambling problem, so she only has access to her money. They don't split bills in half, but they each have responsibility for different bills, like one gets the mortgage while the other pays for the car, one gets electric, the other water. It works very well for them. I plan to do something similar if I ever get married. I have heard the best is to do a mix of combined and separate where there's a joint checking account that pays the shared bills. Each person contributes a set amount to it every month. Then whatever additional money they have stays in their personal accounts to manage how they please. But of course it's your relationship and you can run things however y'all please. That it works for you is all that really matters.
U have to do a follow up with her and get more info about the husband. For some reason, more so than the normal guests, I really feel for her. She’s had a rough go. Sure she makes bad choices, but she’s had a tough life so you can’t help but root for her. She seems willing to sacrifice to make this work.
So she pays for everything, even his cloths, but she is buried in debt and money pressure Yet he keeps 100% of his paycheck and does whatever he wants with his money? This sounds toxic as hell EDIT: THE EX HUSBAND IS THE EMERGENCY ASSITS? WTF? Why is the EX husband helping her instead of her actual husband... EDIT2: Jesus lord mercy, husband probably makes more money than her now too since he is an actual employee instead of a contractor at the same work location
Yeah, I could not be with someone like that and if someone paid for everything all the kids 529 would be maxed and our roths would be maxed as well every year
@@Rudy1150 this is what people aren't acknowledging. Why would you give a partner with a clear shopping addiction access to your savings??? So she can spend that on Amazon too? It would be one thing if all her debt was accrued on necessary household goods, but that is decidedly not that case.
I have binge watched your content of all the people you have tried to help I feel like this lady listened the most carefully and is the most likely to follow your advice!
I feel for her. I also suffered from alcoholism when I was running on hard times and my depression got bad. It's crucial for her to seek mental help. As an addict most will find the next thing to cling on to which might not always been a good thing like with her. I visited my family doctor I was already showing signs of early liver failure at age 25 and my doctor said no way my liver could last even 2 more years. That really opened my eyes because I didn't wanna die so young. So I went to seek mental health and my therapist suggested to me to find something healthy to keep my mind busy on. Which for me was weightlifting and it's been amazing. In just 6 months I'm down 40 pounds and added some serious muscle now I'm at the most healthy I've every been in my life and couldn't be happier. It just takes 5 minutes for your life can change for the better. My heart goes out for her and her struggle
This is no official advice, is GREAT advice. I wish i had that financial talent, working at getting better at this. In bad situations is really hard to keep ourselves acountable, advice is exactly what we need.
This is what a spouse does when they're planning an exit, seperate accounts- he doesn't contribute financially in a major way. He'll have a soft landing while she's left holding the shit bag!
She just needs to understand everyone has some sort of buying addiction. She’s not alone in that. Just wait for that “this needs to stop” moment. It’ll come to you soon and you’ll be all the better for it
I love how you are able to identify underlying issues people have and make helpful recommendations to start solving them. This lovely lady has all of the burden of her family squarely on her shoulders yet there is no reason not to split the bills 50/50 with the husband. You see there is a spending issue between the transfer of alcohol and Amazon, and you recommend therapy, perfect. 👏🏻
I keep finances separate to grow and control my own savings so I can get out if needed. I grew up watching too many women be trapped in a marriage they couldn't leave because they had nothing of their own.
I can kind of understand why she does not have a problem with her husband managing his own money without even seeing what he has. If there is an addiction/spending problem I can see how she would feel guilty not only spending her hard earned money but other people's money.
That'd what I was thinking, I mean I think he should still be helping with bills but I also understand why she pays it all, it seems like he saves for the both of them in a way. I wish them both the best
People who buy too much online can benefit from checking out at the end of the week instead of buying as soon as it goes in their cart. It gives you a chance to rethink unnecessary purchases.
I must be living in twilight zone. I never knew there are men who would sit there making the same as their wives and still put all the financial burden on their wives. Like wtf. This doesn’t even make sense. Why is she with him? I’m not saying he should pay everything but it’s almost as if they are not a team. He selfishly chips in and leaves her to carry the whole financial burden. I have never heard of this type of situation ever before.
It’s very interesting how money unearths a lot life problems. This lady is so kind. After this conversation I hope she realizes how much she’s at jeopardy of having the rug ripped from under her having no savings and the husband not helping. Also if she’s contract how is health insurance getting covered? I’m not done with the video at this point. Keep up the content!
I’m getting the sense that because she has children from another marriage he feels like he shouldn’t contribute, like “I’m not paying for someone’s kids life” for example like food and bills, maybe he feels that since the ex helps and supports his children he doesn’t have to step up BUT BUT He needs to wake up !!! When he married this women he married those kids those are your step children and you should help your wife support these kids period ! You married her knowing she had kids ! This dynamic is of a boyfriend not of a married couple, she needs to stand up for herself, no your not lucky he married you with kids any good Gina would marry a women they love and love those kids as their own ! I feel so bad for her she deserves better !
Addiction is hard to beat but if you beat it, I’m proud of you. I have had a gambling addiction but I beat it for a better future. Anyone who is reading this with an addiction, keep going. You will wish you did later.😊
Behind the screen it is easy to look at this story and critique the decisions Dominga has made along with the decisions her Huband has made. But I really respect her for sharing her story on a platform in a world where social media is only the glitz and glamour. I commend Dominga for growing to make the change to stop drinking which is not easy. She has also done so much on her end not to ditch her husband when I think most people would have gotten divorced. Remember there are kids involved and Dominga stepped up for her Family. And now her husband is back working doubling the household income. The important takeaway is you have to have some sort of joint account and joint financial plan with your spouse before you get married plain and simple. Couples therapy is great for this. The other takeaway as in most of these videos is you can't afford some of the luxuries and guilty pleasures if you have a certain income. However sacrifices to change these habits can go a long way. And most importantly you need to be on top of what you owe and what is crippling you financially. You should know every cent of interest you have to pay and avoid having to finance certain things. The same time it took to watch this video is the same amount of time you should take minimum a month to look at all bills, tickets, taxes, invoices, and other things you owe.
Wish her all the best but she needs to work on her relationship. You can't call your ex husband your emergency fund, and then also not know what your current husband has saved. That's very toxic, hard to blame the current one for thinking she will go back to her ex with that kind of relationship. Hence the lack of commitment when it comes to money. That time bomb needs to be addressed before it blows up on them.
At 16, her son should sign up for Dual Enrollment Program if a colleges near by have it. Can go to college for free 2 years (get a degree or trade) and can transfer to a 4 year if want, and financial aid will pay for books.
I feel so confused about how she's making all those payments. It's too much for me to even keep track of, much less get a handle on. Her whole financial life is just overwhelming. I do hope she listens to your advice. She has no reason to martyr herself to her husband by paying for nearly everything while he's working.
For real! I have one credit card that I keep good track of - but man I can’t imagine having all the different avenues of payments she has. I would never sleep 😬🥲
I really appreciate how your tone is different with this guest versus some of the younger and more irresponsible guests. Obviously her posture towards her finances and willingness to change her behavior made that more possible but I think a lesser host would not have adjusted as well from reprimanding to encouraging. Great job and go Dominga! You can do it!!
15 months sober person here! I hope she is in therapy, because, on the surface level, it looks like she replaced alcohol with shopping. Edit: I caught that early on and kept watching--I see you all discussed that! Good job, Caleb!
I am going to start seeing a therapist regularly. I was going on an as-needed basis and when I could get an appt with the VA. I realize now that it isn't working. This audit and conversations with my friends and family have really made me see that Amazon is my new DOC.
Man trying to pay the IRS back is like a shot in the dark hoping you covered the bill. The website is low budget and getting a person on the phone takes an act of congress 🤬 I feel her on that one
When the person in charge of the finances is financially irresponsible it’s a nasty combo. I really like her personality though, she seems down to learn and is spunky. I wish her the best!
@@13ikea maybe not If (and it is a big "if") she spends any spare money on a spending "addiction" as the video title suggests, it actually may be wiser for him not to blend finances. Basically if 1 is a spender and the other is a saver, this dynamic would allow 1 responsible person to save while the other uses their income to cover day to day stuff. Out another way - if someone is going to be broke at the end of every month by choice, might as well use the money for something useful At the same time, he better be the one paying for holidays and better be ready to share if she falls into need or loses her work That's my view anyway. If I were going to waste my half, it better to let my partner save up her half
Noticed on the past two videos their deposits were much higher than expected and I believe that’s because on the traditional biweekly Friday pay schedule there were 3 pay days in July (at least I was paid 3x in July)
The fact that the ex-husband steps in with emergency payments for rent and insures the kids is very unusual Easpecially when the current husband doesnt pickup any of the financial slack AM I the only person that thinks something doesnt seem right for this arrangement?
Very important and sad conversation today that I'm sure many people will relate to. Apologies for not the best audio for the first part of this week's episode, we did not catch it until too late- edited it the best I could! Give Dominga some love in the comments, she is INCREDIBLE brave for being willing to share this story with the world. I checked multiple times if the full story was okay to share online, and in the title thumbnail. She is incredibly brave and strong, and I think she has a chance to turn this all around!
Congrats on 30K subs. I believe you can hit 45-50K by end of the month! Lets gooo!
Quick question. Your disclaimer. Should you say “this is not legal financial advice” instead of “official”. Don’t want you getting fucked over
Also quick maths. 20$ an hour is 40k a year.
Double the hourly rate and add a k. That’s the yearly salary. The past videos I see you not working this out sometimes. Might be easier for your viewers at the time.
Yes sad :(
Can you do a follow up video with her in maybe a yea? See what she's accomplished and where she is in her journey. I can totally see her kicking butt and getting on top of all this as best as life allows.
He should be paying for his expenses flat out. His own insurance etc. if he has the money to buy a car in cash he has the money to buy/pay for his own living expenses like car insurance.
She should still be responsible for her impulse purchases, but he should be stepping up and treating her like a wife and not a mom. She also needs to stop giving away money that she doesn’t have and spoiling her kids with money that she doesn’t have. Up until recently, I made what she made as a single person. And I don’t even have $300 shoes.
First, thank you, Caleb, for this opportunity and for the advice.
Second, I appreciate the comments and I want to add that there are three sides to every story, right? My side, my husband's side, and the truth.
I wish he had an opportunity to come on and explain his side. He definitely contributes more than is shown or explained here and he is helping.
I have had to swallow my pride and admit to him that I have not only a drinking problem, but also a spending problem. In fact, after recording this episode, I went home and had a long and difficult conversation with him.
I am a very strong personality and want to be in charge. It's consuming and has been part of the reason I have ended up where I am. I hope you all keep your hearts and minds open to the fact that there is more to my story.
Thank you, again, Caleb. I will be in touch!
--I posted this as a comment yesterday, but I did t realize I could edit this. Here goes:
It’s been two weeks since this episode was posted. Thought I’d give a small update.
Week two update- 01SEP
- 18 days since an Amazon purchase. I deleted the app after I confirmed I only had subs I needed and used and the cost was low.
- $373 in pay-later debt remaining to be paid (no new lines open)
- Husband actually pays about 40% of household finances. (Didn’t include my Amazon spending) I portrayed him badly and that wasn’t my intent. I don’t want to be aware of his money bc my spending then becomes even worse. He’s not a bum and his savings is basically there to make sure I don’t drive us off a cliff. I’ve had mental breakdowns and attempted suicide before and left us in a bad place. He has to protect us and our money.
- He now is aware of my spending addiction and wants to help by paying off and keeping me accountable.
- I picked up a wfh contract to help pay down debt, so working two jobs
- I finally opened my mail and I have $690 debt to VA for healthcare so far, so another bill, but I’m going to attack it
- Grocery budget is built! $400/month
- IRS owe is $1,470ish. Thanks to those that commented how to look it up. Back on a plan to pay down.
- Opened a savings account and hoping to get that ball rolling
- Set up monthly payments to pay down credit card bill. Will add more payments when I have extra each month. It’s the first debt we are going to clear.
Thanks Dominga!! You are incredibly strong and I respect you so much. I think you have a bright future ahead of you!!
@Caleb Hammer Can you pin Dominga's comment at the top? Hopefully more viewers will read it before commenting.
Best of luck too you! Wishing for the best!
Strong woman!
you are strong, i respect you for your ability to stay that way for your family.
I really love that there's no music or dramatic sound effects in the middle of all your videos. So many videos online dramatise everything for clicks. It allows the viewer to put their own feelings into every situation and it just makes a more engaging video all around. Great work!
Thank you 😊
@@CalebHammer except for the funny meme ones lmao, love those
Probably the only channel that the lack of background music isn't noticeable
This is so true. I didn't think about it until now. It really humanizses the guests and allows we the viewers to have that connection.
Wow! I never even noticed this until now. I always feel like I am sitting in the room just listening to a very personal conversation!
It’s been two weeks since this episode was posted. Thought I’d give a small update.
Week two update- 01SEP
- 18 days since an Amazon purchase. I deleted the app after I confirmed I only had subs I needed and used and the cost was low.
- $373 in pay-later debt remaining to be paid (no new lines open)
- Husband actually pays about 40% of household finances. (Didn’t include my Amazon spending) I portrayed him badly and that wasn’t my intent. I don’t want to be aware of his money bc my spending then becomes even worse. He’s not a bum and his savings is basically there to make sure I don’t drive us off a cliff. I’ve had mental breakdowns and attempted suicide before and left us in a bad place. He has to protect us and our money.
- He now is aware of my spending addiction and wants to help by paying off and keeping me accountable.
- I picked up a wfh contract to help pay down debt, so working two jobs
- I finally opened my mail and I have $690 debt to VA for healthcare so far, so another bill, but I’m going to attack it
- Grocery budget is built! $400/month
- IRS owe is $1,470ish. Thanks to those that commented how to look it up. Back on a plan to pay down.
- Opened a savings account and hoping to get that ball rolling
- Set up monthly payments to pay down credit card bill. Will add more payments when I have extra each month. It’s the first debt we are going to clear.
So excited for you to get control of your finances. You've got this!
Congratulations on your progress! Stay disciplined and you'll get through this!
You are very brave to face this head on. We had to overcome excess spending and I promise you if you continue to wittle away at the debt and live within your means you will get there!!!! You will feel so FREE when that debt is gone. (Somehow I feel like your husb made you write that stuff because he was embarrassed at not contributing, either way, as long as he is ‘manning up’ and helping out now that’s what counts. I will say, I’ve stuck with my spouse when they lost their job several times, but I would in No Way put up with them not paying their fair share and keeping money separate. If he thought you over spent he could have taken your credit cards or gotten rid of Amazon. Seems like he is being lazy and laying it all on your shoulders. You’re the one coming forward and trying to make your life better. God bless you and your children. Stay strong and disciplined and your life will get easier :)
You should be so proud of yourself for having the courage to put yourself out there in order to get help! Most people care too much about appearances and would rather hide and ignore their dire financial situation until it’s too late. It’s too bad you weren’t able to communicate to the host that your husband covers 40% of the household finances because it did seem like he only bought stuff for himself and chipped in money here and there. It would be nice if the host had you back on so you can show your progress and clarify things. Best of luck to you and your family!! Also, don’t let guilt from the past keep you from being more involved with your husband’s money. Take care.
It feels so good to get things sorted out. I think it was clear that hubby was contributing and not a stretch that separated finances could be due to your spending issues.
This certainly made me look at my own amazon spending and get it in check. Good luck to you and i hope you do great!
She doesn't have a husband she has another kid. She needs to take care of herself by requiring him to be a partner.
:(
I can tell who’s in charge of this relationship is going downhill
We only hear one side of the story; she mentioned her husband pays half the rent and she has access to his bank account.
For the Femin4zi comment. So being a useless and kept woman... centuries pass and nobody really cares or says anything, and it's cool. But when it's a "kept" man then he's a bum abusing her. Strangely, in any case, women end up being the victims. B, PLEASE.
People have to think about the expenses of a kid,, the job market and the future that's really becoming harder to survive in. Women can't complain if they don't stop bring humans in the world they can't give a good life to. No shade...amd apparently the Father isn't helping...stop and think about your choices.
My mother stated to my father, " If I'm paying for everything, why am I married to you?" One year later they were divorced. She paid rent with her credit card, but the husband paid cash for his car? Where was her husband?
In a better place financially than she was?
Reminds me of my parents my mom would tell my dad to not stay home long cause we were and still are so far behind bills. he was a trucker so he’d be gone 2-3 weeks at a time. He got mad and told her to get a job if it’s such a problem. 2 years later she died of covid. 14 kids. He was such an ass to her and wants to remarry… so much pain.
@Eat My Shorts yeah all from just them 2.
@Eat My Shorts yeah all from just them 2.
@@mistertrigger5029 How did he expect her to work with that many kids. She should have let him switch places.
There is ALOT to unpack here but first and foremost THANK YOU for coming on the show Dominga. This was incredibly vulnerable and brave and very few people would be willing to get on and talk about this. Some of the first steps of getting out of a tough situation is getting help and coming to terms with reality. While I'm no fortune teller, I have a feeling things will start turning around for you as this was a big step you took today on your journey and often times the first step is the most difficult.
I for real think she can turn this around. If she can kick an alcohol addiction, she’s got the will to sort out her finances.
Agreed!
Usually we trade one addiction for another
@@daniburke9452 Yep!
She didn't.
Caleb - you are so kind. You manage to speak the truth without coming across as judgmental or snarky. Well done.
The husband thing is such a big red flag. Having separate finances is one thing. It works for a lot of people. But how could you not hold him responsible for his half of the bills? Said he buys his cigarettes and food like that’s a mature, big boy thing. Doesn’t even pay for his own car insurance. Wild.
Husband is going to have a full time job, has cash reserves (if paid case for a car) and does NOT have a shopping addiction that we know of. Honestly, if i was him I would keep money separate too.
I don't blame him for keeping his finances to himself this woman has a spending addiction, went thru 3 divorces has kids, but yeah he should go half on bills
I pay my husband's car insurance too. He has 3 vehicles and I have one. I had 2 but I sold one. Anyway, I do this because he pays the entire mortgage and utilities though. I also pay his health and life insurances. I think that's a fair trade to not have to split mortgage and utilities. I can't imagine paying ALL the bills plus buying all the groceries.
@@ricardovazquez2274 I think she may have talked down to him when he wasn't working and maybe he holds a grudge about that. Because that's not normal for him to make the same amount of money as her but still allow her to pay all the bills. He may be stacking up money to leave, or he might be spending it on a girlfriend...something is not adding up.
But it’s normalized for 90% of relationships that’s the man provides everything the women doesn’t do or has income an people see that as a dream life for a women just for the man to do everything. I’m seeing so much people say he needs to help but if roles were reversed nobody would be saying anything.
Caleb's seriously a financial therapist. Helping so many people open their eyes about their fiances just by watching these videos.
It’s strange that she continues to pay for everything despite her husband being employed now. She needs to put her pride aside and start having him contribute so he can start saving
True :(
I think cause she's twice divorced she puts up with anything to avoid another. :( it's also hard to get people to treat you right after you've been a doormat for years. You gotta set how people treat you from the start.
@@grazynawolska8160 ong ong
Let me be the pessimist as a fellow Mexican and what I've seen. More than likely the guy might be planning a divorce the moment the kids are out of the house. There's no way this could be separate money to this extent and he's that cool with her having to talk to her ex-husband. He's riding the money train to put himself in a great situation.
@@djm2189 that’s what it seems like to me as well. My husband and I don’t have a joint account but we split everything evenly and we know how much the other has in savings. We’re very open about our finances and it seems weird to not be when you’re married.
I read her update in the comments, SO glad she has a plan and is pulling herself out of this. My thoughts and prayers are with her to SUCCEED. ❤
Dominga I can totally relate to turning my drug addiction into a spending addiction once I got clean. Therapy helped me a TON! Wishing you all the best.
So many red flags re: being married with completely separate accounts and having no idea what your partner has financially. She’s covering the vast majority of expenses and struggling and meanwhile her husband could have a nice nest egg. Let’s not even talk about the ex-husband and finances-but wtf. This feels so toxic and stressful. She’s so sweet and I’m rooting for her, but wow is this a challenging/interesting situation.
Funny how the current husband contributed 40% and her shopping addiction. That 40% is a great amount when you figure that those kids aren't his.
My husband was a SAHD for several years too but when he went back to work we kind of still lived off my paycheck but used his to further our financial situation to a better place. We used it to pay off credit cards, my car loan etc, build up our emergency fund. This lady is getting taken advantage of.
Yeah, what you both did is GOOD! Kickin butt!!
That what I was thinking. Okay but if he job has the benefits and he was contributing most of income to retirement and savings I would understand. They make the same amount of money.
@@cameliajones6029 agree, but it sounds like he has her pay for household expenses and is not funneling that money towards "their" financial future. She pays his car insurance and all the food? I think it's more complicated when it's a 3rd husband (he is not responsible to financially support her kid, i guess?? but you are married, messy, ugh) but seems like he is taking financial advantage of her.
Yeah some people do that. Live off one income and invest the other one for the whole family. It's still working together.
@@grazynawolska8160 You can do that still while pooling the resources in a transparent way.
So glad the audio in calebs videos dont sound like this anymore. Huge fan of the channel
I watched all of these audits in the last few days while at work. I clicked on this so fast 😂 this is my favorite new financial channel
Thank you so much Nick!
Just finished it. I think she can do it! I'm excited to see all these follow-ups
I feel like there’s been a lot of criticism with these comments but I truly think she seems really receptive to what you have to say! that’s saying a lot compared to other guests on this show!! I appreciate how honest she was with her habits/spending. She clearly is showing a willingness to turn things around and I hope the conversation she has with her family goes well. I have faith. Good luck with everything Dominga!!
I appreciate her transparency through all this. I know this was hard to share.
Yes!!
Except she had to come back and say she lied about her husband totally. She did a great job of portraying herself as a victim.
At 27 y/o I have now seen the importance of budgeting. It’s so eye opening seeing these videos. I have messed up this first third of my life and now I have to work extra hard to catch up. It’s depressing but inspirational at the same time
You are not that old!
I’m 25, and I also just learned about good personal finance habits.
You also didn’t waste the first 1/3 of your life. You were a child for most of it. Your adult life is just happening now, and you have so much time to build wealth and retirement if you started now.
Agreed. I started watching in the middle of this month, I plan to go through all my statements next month and see where I need to fix things.
Shout out to her for overcoming alcohol and contacting Caleb to face her financial situation. It’s not easy to air your bad decisions publicly. But I’m sure this video will help alot of people
Thank you Dominga for sharing your journey. It can feel so defeating to be beat down by life financially. You’ve already shown your strength in your sobriety. You can do this too. It’s worth every sacrifice! Best of luck!!
I hope everyone sees Dominga's updated post! She added info on how their finances are broken down, and how much her husband contributes, which she estimates is actually around 40% of household costs. Also, the steps she has taken to get her finances in check.
Where is the update??
You can do this Dominga!!! 😊 You've overcome so much in your life, there's no reason you can't conquer this! On a more serious note though, you and your husband need to have a joint bank account for bills, it seems that you're shouldering a lot of the burden yourself and you need to be a team. ❤️
You can do it!!!!
You are having multiple kids by different men. Also she seems to not be telling her financial issues like it is
But hes a stay at home dad and they are a team. He stays home with the kids while she works. Its only fair that he gets the same as stay at home mothers. Its 2022 now and shes a strong, independent woman who gets the bag. All they did was switch roles. She wants to be the bread earner while he cooks and cares for the kids. Men have had that "burden" for centuries now? Seems fair right? Go get em queen.
@@anonymity2882 When he was a stay at home dad, that absolutely applies. It’s different when you go from a single income household with a stay at home parent to a two income household. In that case, the second income should either be used to split everything evenly (based on the lower income earner’s wages/salary) OR be used to pursue mutual financial goals. Here, it sounded like he was pocketing his almost his entire paycheck, which is not fair.
That being said, Dominga clarified in the comments that she didn’t mean to paint him in a bad light and that he actually contributed to about 40% of household expenses. She said they had an honest hard conversation about everything and he’s going to help her stay accountable and get out of the debt.
I wish only the best for her and her family. What a strong woman.
Caleb, you were so empathetic to her situation and understanding. Awesome to see ☺️
Loving the channel. It’s a better version of Dave Ramsey; longer form factor and much more realistic advice rather than ‘burn all credit cards and eat rice and beans’
Thank you so much :)
Agreed! Started to hate Dave Ramsay, especially after his COVID denying and rant on Fox News about how a one time government stimulus payment would make people ‘dependant’ on the government 🙄
@@User84030 to be fair a lot of the inflation we are experiencing now is because of the gov stimulus. I know it was needed but being apprehensive was reasonable
@@User84030 I stopped watching/listening to him too for the same reason.
I like this better too. Like Joe Rogan, the longer format is better. And I really like Caleb's attitude towards debt over Dave Ramsey. They both go a little rice and beans, but Caleb is a bit more realistic.
It’s weird seeing you so gentle and meek
I really appreciate how compassionate you are while talking to people about this stuff. It can be a really sensitive topic, but it's so important to talk about and I'm sure your compassion makes the conversation feel more comfortable.
He can be so strong and assertive, but also gentle and understanding! He is great at these intense and tough situations! Caleb rocks!
Great Job, Dominga! Concerned about her husband not contributing regularly to the household needs. Obviously people have their own ways of splitting things, but I think it could be useful for you Caleb to look into learning about financial abuse.
It may not be your place to be commenting on their family life, but as someone who cares, it could be a good conversation to have outside the interviews.
Yeah for sure, absolutely a very odd and interesting situation.
My husband and I are in a similar financial situation due to similar reasons (when we first moved in together I had a stable income and he decided to go back to school using his benefits). Over time he has contributed more but now he is making more than me but I still contribute more to the household.
(I spend about 1% of my income on me, such as eating out/clothing/hobbies and the rest goes to household expenses)
The issue is he sees that as a choice (since a lot of that is for our retirement/hitting debt hard). He’s pessimistic about the future and doesn’t believe we can retire (even though if we can keep our spending in check, we definitely can and it can be early if he contributed to it.)
It’s a matter of perspective. He believes in having fun in the present which balances my hyper focus on the future. I have been saving since 7 yrs old, pocketing birthday money and my 85 cents for lunch which I assumed could be used for future meals/bills when money was tight. I’d rather be hungry today and not starve later.
It's very concerning she goes to her ex for money regularly also, very toxic for the current relationship.
@@TheHolymadrix The ex apparently doesn't pay child support, so asking him for money in an emergency is totally fine.
Totally off topic..but I’ve never seen someone rock green hair so we’ll before
I'm a licensed Enrolled Agent in Austin that specializes in IRS collections. I've wanted to volunteer to help normal people get this resolved. I'd love to help if you have more visitors that are in deep with the IRS. This could even be a segment on your channel if you had enough people like you get for Financial Audit.
@writeme3538 your fake user name says ur a scammer
We were in deep for $10K. I have worked hard since 2019....we are down to $305! Next year we get to keep our refund. Never again.
@@MrJohnybravo86don't reply, don't feed the bots
I just want to tell you, I found your videos the other day and basically watched them all.
You basically put fear back into me which I needed because I was getting lazy with managing my funds.
You are quite literally helping the community and changing the world with your content my friend, even if you don’t realize it or it doesn’t seem so. Thank you keep it up
I feel like this video you did the most amount of good and she was the most receptive to taking your advice out of any of the other people you've had in. It seems like she already has made a lot of very positive changes in her life and is continuing to do so. What a touching story. Hers is the story I'm most looking forward to seeing again I future. All the best to her!
Thank you Elyse :) I look forward to that too
@@CalebHammer would be really satisfying to see the progress and comparison financially in the catch up videos. Going to feel so good to have the original debt balances and strike through them visually on screen (hopefully going down not up! ). Would be nice to add that sort of thing also to the videos perhaps. Like a running log graphically showing the debts, monthly payments, the plan you write out for them compared to what they were originally spending. Just an idea :).
Really enjoying the uploads - Just a thought, I would love to also see an overall category breakdown (you spend 35% on food, 50% on housing etc. ) as well as the deep dive that you do.
For sure! And thank you
This was such a good episode. You really helped this lady so much and I love how receptive and open she was!
From most of your videos I’ve seen, this one gives me the most hope that she will get her finances in order and turn her life around! 💕Best of luck!
Agreed!
Poor woman I am stressed for her that’s not a husband not even a roommate….. she deserves to truly be appreciated and cherish and take care off
Probly spends her money and also wants to spend his money to due to her poor financial mistakes over and over again and spending habits then at the end she already got divorced twice which means she already makes bad decisions and she continues he’s probly going to leave her
He’s probably trying to protect his net worth from her reckless spending habits and it’s either that or divorce her. I wouldn’t throw him under the bus.
I disagree. My ex has a spending addiction IMO and for the first time in my adult life I have same savings now that he can’t use my checking account as his own 🐷 bank btw he basically never worked when we were together. Btw you don’t have to be on someone’s checking account to have access. Has anyone ever heard an debit card?!🙄☠️
This is the only one of these where I actually believe she will
Follow through. Kick ass lady!
This was a hard one to watch. It really shows how addictions can hurt you in many ways
I hope people see my story and realize addictions come in a lot of forms, too.
@@domingatitus3374 you are very brave to look at your financial and mental health issues honestly, many people avoid both. You will do great!!!
@@domingatitus3374 I was an addict for many years after I got clean it turner into a shopping addiction
Really admire her strength in being transparent for the video. I think she can turn things around if she just puts her mind to it!
I appreciate these people being vulnerable to share their experiences and this channel for educating the public based on those experiences. Very eye opening. I hope she finds the freedom and love she deserves.
I have been here before but without the kids. I like how respectful you are with your language even when you are clearly shocked.
Thank you
this hit home because i am currently struggling with addiction as well. hope she can turn this situation around.
Oh wow, I’m very sorry to hear that. Please reach out to local services for support!! You can get through this
The fact that you are trying to kick your addiction is a great step toward success. Please seek help, AA, NA or whatever organization suits your needs. Know that you are strong and there's no shame in seeking help. Good luck!
thanks both of you
Best of luck to you.
One day at a time.
I’m in this to win this. I will turn my whole life around bc my kids and I deserve a better life.
You’ll get through this, too. I know you will.
Thank you for being so kind about her mental health needs, very considerate and good advice.
It's episodes like this that make me want to see Caleb talk to the couple together for a married person vs. just one half. I'm so curious how her husband would've weighed in and contributed to the plan.
Probably would’ve been defensive.
I was 16, my sister was 15 and my brother was 8 back in the 90's and latchkey. Looking back the amount of food we consumed is midblowing... My mom has a QVC addiction though, and she's semi retired so it's a bad mix...Good luck to this lady.
You are crushing it with the uploads! Congrats on (soon to be) 1 mil subscribers :)
Thank you so much :)
Dominga, I am rooting for you and your family. I saw your update in the comments and you’re doing so well. It seems you’re really applying discipline and dedication towards your financial journey. So happy for you. ❤
I absolutely love that you not only mentioned to Dominga that you can put her in touch with a specialist but also that you recommended her to see a therapist.
You are in such a great position to provide people with life advice as well as financial and its great to see you leaning into it this early on in your RUclips career
I love how positive and open-minded she was 🥰 she’s been through a lot. I think she’ll be well on her way
I have an addiction. I'm addicted to the content on this channel.
Her husband makes about the same as her but she pays everything!? Make it make sense! She still buys his clothes?!! Wow!
Love the content, just recently got very interested in finance and currently working on early retirement for my wife and I and these videos provide reassurance that we are on the right path.
That’s so good to hear!
Inspired me to be better with money! Updated format and relatable for our generation!
I know a lot of people who keep finances separate while married. My neighbors do that, for instance. His wife has a gambling problem, so she only has access to her money. They don't split bills in half, but they each have responsibility for different bills, like one gets the mortgage while the other pays for the car, one gets electric, the other water. It works very well for them. I plan to do something similar if I ever get married.
I have heard the best is to do a mix of combined and separate where there's a joint checking account that pays the shared bills. Each person contributes a set amount to it every month. Then whatever additional money they have stays in their personal accounts to manage how they please.
But of course it's your relationship and you can run things however y'all please. That it works for you is all that really matters.
U have to do a follow up with her and get more info about the husband. For some reason, more so than the normal guests, I really feel for her. She’s had a rough go. Sure she makes bad choices, but she’s had a tough life so you can’t help but root for her. She seems willing to sacrifice to make this work.
I feel the same.
This is a very strong woman and thank you for being kind yet upfront towards her Caleb
So she pays for everything, even his cloths, but she is buried in debt and money pressure
Yet he keeps 100% of his paycheck and does whatever he wants with his money?
This sounds toxic as hell
EDIT: THE EX HUSBAND IS THE EMERGENCY ASSITS? WTF? Why is the EX husband helping her instead of her actual husband...
EDIT2: Jesus lord mercy, husband probably makes more money than her now too since he is an actual employee instead of a contractor at the same work location
Yeah it's wild and sounds toxic :/
Yeah, I could not be with someone like that and if someone paid for everything all the kids 529 would be maxed and our roths would be maxed as well every year
sorry, but if my partner was spending that kind of money on amazon daily. I would keep it separate.
Yeah you guys don't know the full story
@@Rudy1150 this is what people aren't acknowledging. Why would you give a partner with a clear shopping addiction access to your savings??? So she can spend that on Amazon too? It would be one thing if all her debt was accrued on necessary household goods, but that is decidedly not that case.
I have binge watched your content of all the people you have tried to help I feel like this lady listened the most carefully and is the most likely to follow your advice!
I feel for her. I also suffered from alcoholism when I was running on hard times and my depression got bad. It's crucial for her to seek mental help. As an addict most will find the next thing to cling on to which might not always been a good thing like with her. I visited my family doctor I was already showing signs of early liver failure at age 25 and my doctor said no way my liver could last even 2 more years. That really opened my eyes because I didn't wanna die so young. So I went to seek mental health and my therapist suggested to me to find something healthy to keep my mind busy on. Which for me was weightlifting and it's been amazing. In just 6 months I'm down 40 pounds and added some serious muscle now I'm at the most healthy I've every been in my life and couldn't be happier. It just takes 5 minutes for your life can change for the better. My heart goes out for her and her struggle
Congratulations for taking control of your life. So glad you sought physical and mental health professionals. Hope you have a long and healthy life!
This is no official advice, is GREAT advice. I wish i had that financial talent, working at getting better at this. In bad situations is really hard to keep ourselves acountable, advice is exactly what we need.
Great video! I appreciate you being so kind but firm in your approach in helping the client. Thanks for sharing your talent.
It's a rough one Dominga but you'll pull through. Keep up the good work on yourself and you addictions... Wishing you well.
This is what a spouse does when they're planning an exit, seperate accounts- he doesn't contribute financially in a major way. He'll have a soft landing while she's left holding the shit bag!
She just needs to understand everyone has some sort of buying addiction. She’s not alone in that. Just wait for that “this needs to stop” moment. It’ll come to you soon and you’ll be all the better for it
This is my favorite audit so far! You can do this Daminga!!!
I love how you are able to identify underlying issues people have and make helpful recommendations to start solving them. This lovely lady has all of the burden of her family squarely on her shoulders yet there is no reason not to split the bills 50/50 with the husband. You see there is a spending issue between the transfer of alcohol and Amazon, and you recommend therapy, perfect. 👏🏻
I keep finances separate to grow and control my own savings so I can get out if needed. I grew up watching too many women be trapped in a marriage they couldn't leave because they had nothing of their own.
I had to learn that the hard way 💔 this is definitely good advice
Yes but she is paying 90 percent of the household expenses. That is not the same as just having your own accounts.
Kudos to her for being 9 months sober! Keep it up!
I can kind of understand why she does not have a problem with her husband managing his own money without even seeing what he has. If there is an addiction/spending problem I can see how she would feel guilty not only spending her hard earned money but other people's money.
That'd what I was thinking, I mean I think he should still be helping with bills but I also understand why she pays it all, it seems like he saves for the both of them in a way. I wish them both the best
the human mind is truly incredible to observe.
People who buy too much online can benefit from checking out at the end of the week instead of buying as soon as it goes in their cart. It gives you a chance to rethink unnecessary purchases.
I must be living in twilight zone. I never knew there are men who would sit there making the same as their wives and still put all the financial burden on their wives. Like wtf. This doesn’t even make sense. Why is she with him? I’m not saying he should pay everything but it’s almost as if they are not a team. He selfishly chips in and leaves her to carry the whole financial burden. I have never heard of this type of situation ever before.
It’s very interesting how money unearths a lot life problems. This lady is so kind. After this conversation I hope she realizes how much she’s at jeopardy of having the rug ripped from under her having no savings and the husband not helping. Also if she’s contract how is health insurance getting covered? I’m not done with the video at this point. Keep up the content!
I’m getting the sense that because she has children from another marriage he feels like he shouldn’t contribute, like “I’m not paying for someone’s kids life” for example like food and bills, maybe he feels that since the ex helps and supports his children he doesn’t have to step up BUT BUT He needs to wake up !!! When he married this women he married those kids those are your step children and you should help your wife support these kids period ! You married her knowing she had kids ! This dynamic is of a boyfriend not of a married couple, she needs to stand up for herself, no your not lucky he married you with kids any good Gina would marry a women they love and love those kids as their own ! I feel so bad for her she deserves better !
*any good kind genuine person
Addiction is hard to beat but if you beat it, I’m proud of you. I have had a gambling addiction but I beat it for a better future. Anyone who is reading this with an addiction, keep going. You will wish you did later.😊
Behind the screen it is easy to look at this story and critique the decisions Dominga has made along with the decisions her Huband has made. But I really respect her for sharing her story on a platform in a world where social media is only the glitz and glamour.
I commend Dominga for growing to make the change to stop drinking which is not easy. She has also done so much on her end not to ditch her husband when I think most people would have gotten divorced. Remember there are kids involved and Dominga stepped up for her Family. And now her husband is back working doubling the household income.
The important takeaway is you have to have some sort of joint account and joint financial plan with your spouse before you get married plain and simple. Couples therapy is great for this. The other takeaway as in most of these videos is you can't afford some of the luxuries and guilty pleasures if you have a certain income. However sacrifices to change these habits can go a long way. And most importantly you need to be on top of what you owe and what is crippling you financially. You should know every cent of interest you have to pay and avoid having to finance certain things. The same time it took to watch this video is the same amount of time you should take minimum a month to look at all bills, tickets, taxes, invoices, and other things you owe.
Wish her all the best but she needs to work on her relationship. You can't call your ex husband your emergency fund, and then also not know what your current husband has saved. That's very toxic, hard to blame the current one for thinking she will go back to her ex with that kind of relationship. Hence the lack of commitment when it comes to money. That time bomb needs to be addressed before it blows up on them.
Very important
Last post. I just want to give her a hug.
At 16, her son should sign up for Dual Enrollment Program if a colleges near by have it. Can go to college for free 2 years (get a degree or trade) and can transfer to a 4 year if want, and financial aid will pay for books.
Excellent advice.
Trade school should not be overlooked
The subs are climbing QUICK. Congrats
Couldn’t do it without you!!
Great audit, we appreciate your hard work Caleb! 🙏🏽
I appreciate that
"That's so unique" 😅😂
I feel so confused about how she's making all those payments. It's too much for me to even keep track of, much less get a handle on. Her whole financial life is just overwhelming. I do hope she listens to your advice. She has no reason to martyr herself to her husband by paying for nearly everything while he's working.
For real! I have one credit card that I keep good track of - but man I can’t imagine having all the different avenues of payments she has. I would never sleep 😬🥲
I really appreciate how your tone is different with this guest versus some of the younger and more irresponsible guests. Obviously her posture towards her finances and willingness to change her behavior made that more possible but I think a lesser host would not have adjusted as well from reprimanding to encouraging. Great job and go Dominga! You can do it!!
15 months sober person here! I hope she is in therapy, because, on the surface level, it looks like she replaced alcohol with shopping.
Edit: I caught that early on and kept watching--I see you all discussed that! Good job, Caleb!
I'm so happy to hear that :)
I am going to start seeing a therapist regularly. I was going on an as-needed basis and when I could get an appt with the VA. I realize now that it isn't working.
This audit and conversations with my friends and family have really made me see that Amazon is my new DOC.
Also, congrats on the 15 months. ODAAT
@@domingatitus3374 Good for you. Take care of yourself first so you can care for your family.
Congratulations!
Had video on in the background the past hour, very deep talk man nice job! You're getting better at this video after another
I'm sorry to hear about the challenges life has thrown at you. But you got this!!!
Yes she does!!!
Man trying to pay the IRS back is like a shot in the dark hoping you covered the bill. The website is low budget and getting a person on the phone takes an act of congress 🤬 I feel her on that one
Watching this after seeing lots of Caleb's new videos and wow! You and your channel have come such a long way, so happy to see so much growth!
When the person in charge of the finances is financially irresponsible it’s a nasty combo. I really like her personality though, she seems down to learn and is spunky. I wish her the best!
And the husband sounds like he’s financially abusing her. Very sad.
@@13ikea maybe not
If (and it is a big "if") she spends any spare money on a spending "addiction" as the video title suggests, it actually may be wiser for him not to blend finances.
Basically if 1 is a spender and the other is a saver, this dynamic would allow 1 responsible person to save while the other uses their income to cover day to day stuff.
Out another way - if someone is going to be broke at the end of every month by choice, might as well use the money for something useful
At the same time, he better be the one paying for holidays and better be ready to share if she falls into need or loses her work
That's my view anyway. If I were going to waste my half, it better to let my partner save up her half
These videos really keep me on track with my own financial goals. Thank you thank you thank you
Noticed on the past two videos their deposits were much higher than expected and I believe that’s because on the traditional biweekly Friday pay schedule there were 3 pay days in July (at least I was paid 3x in July)
Definitely a type of video that was bound to come. Definitely push this on tiktok
For sure!
I’m dedicated subscriber, so I know I’m going to watch this to the end no matter what. I just know I’m going to cry though 😥
Thank you Alice!
The fact that the ex-husband steps in with emergency payments for rent and insures the kids is very unusual
Easpecially when the current husband doesnt pickup any of the financial slack
AM I the only person that thinks something doesnt seem right for this arrangement?
Caleb you should do zoom interviews so that we can see how personal finance differs in different areas of America
My Monthly Money series has this!
Her husband has a great deal. She works as much as he does, pays almost all the bills, and she cares for the kids. Sign me up
I really think she is hiding something or protecting her husband from something. Big red flags Wish her the best of luck.
I love how open she is, very brave