How To Detach & Love Being Alone

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  • Опубликовано: 24 ноя 2024

Комментарии • 190

  • @lorenaerstic9577
    @lorenaerstic9577 Год назад +490

    as a psychologist I have to answer to those here who are leaving comments about her having an easy time talking about being alone since she has a boyfriend. Being in a healthy relationship still means being independent individual and having time for yourself. Also, you can feel lonely even being surrounded with other people, being a part of a large social circle, being in a relationship etc. Everything depends on your perspective, it always comes from the inside. If you feel lonely, do something about it. Go for a walk, try some new hobby, get your gym membership. That’s a way to meet new people and increase your social circle.

  • @MooonlitVerse
    @MooonlitVerse 11 месяцев назад +20

    Things comes to me with ease.
    My life is incredible and it's only going to get better.
    Rough patches teach me something.
    My growth will lead me to greater things.

  • @ceeceeme1
    @ceeceeme1 Год назад +166

    It’s easy to speak on this while in a relationship. However, when break ups happen it will still hurt no matter how much you focus on self love. You don’t fall in love, you grow in love and thats where many people mess up at. Love the video ❤

    • @lummaaziz
      @lummaaziz  Год назад +104

      Before being in a relationship I literally LIVED alone and spent 99% of my time alone, just because I have followers, friends, a partner etc it doesn't mean that it's any easier to speak on this topic, you can't really tell what someone is going through based on what they decide to share :) I've had my fair share of loneliness and struggles with learning to be alone.

    • @ceeceeme1
      @ceeceeme1 Год назад +17

      @@lummaaziz I know I saw your journey that’s why I said I Love the video 🥰 this comment is for individuals who have not experienced being alone while in a relationship. I’m in a relationship but have experienced heartbreak. It’s important to focus on self love at all times so we don’t lose ourselves! Thanks for the reply

  • @jackie41083
    @jackie41083 Год назад +34

    I have been single for such a long time (now in my mid 30s) and needed to hear this. I've been "comfortable" being alone for so long but want a really great and healthy relationship. I believe that timing is not up to me. So this is a good reminder.

    • @ho-ry5uf
      @ho-ry5uf Год назад +2

      she has a bf though

  • @scum3112
    @scum3112 Год назад +21

    been watching your videos cuz of your break up video. my girlfriend broke up with me in late january. she keeps going through cycles of giving me attention and saying she loves and misses me and then distances herself again a few days later. i know she’s struggling with mental health problems but it’s not fair that i’m being so affected by it. i’ve decided that i still want to love her but also detach so that i’m okay when she distances herself and if she decided to completely cut me out i’d be okay. it’s a process but i feel like i’m slowly getting there. thank you for your videos, they’re a big help.
    also i’m not only trying detach from her, but i’m applying the detachment theory to everything in my life. i’m deciding to let go and not be so attached to outcomes. i don’t want to be disappointed anymore.

    • @lummaaziz
      @lummaaziz  Год назад +4

      This is a great mindset to have, happy to have you a part of my channel :)

    • @soraydaunday3096
      @soraydaunday3096 7 месяцев назад +1

      Same here. I just broke up with my 6 year relationship as he kept on pushing me away and its realy ruining my mental health. I hope you're okay now, and I know someday, Im gonna be okay as well ❤

  • @viktoriah3307
    @viktoriah3307 Год назад +13

    I am 20. I have never been in a relationship. I used to have friends when I was younger but I lost all of them during high school. I am unemployed. I have been for a year actually. I have no one. Not even 1 person. The last time I hang out with somebody.... I can't even remember maybe two years ago. I watch videos llike these for comfort. It is so incredibly hard to live like this

    • @viktoriah3307
      @viktoriah3307 Год назад +6

      I accepted that this is my reality now but sometimes it would be nice to have someone to talk to

    • @samex8275
      @samex8275 2 месяца назад +2

      How are you doing?

    • @tea4485
      @tea4485 4 дня назад

      how are you

  • @benedettainespretari1422
    @benedettainespretari1422 Год назад +28

    I broke up with my bf of almost three years almost five days ago. Your videos really help me focus on myself and don’t rely on hope like i used to, thank you so much. It’s not easy but you make me believe I will do it, despite the pain.

    • @Deelife32
      @Deelife32 Год назад +2

      I’m going through exactly the same thing and yeah lumma’s videos are so helpful I know we’re gonna feel better soon 💕💕

    • @MS-lh7ev
      @MS-lh7ev Год назад +2

      I am also going through a 5 year break up. It’s good to know and remind yourself that you’re not alone 💕 xxx

    • @madj7152
      @madj7152 Год назад

      Same! I ghosted my bf of 4yrs because he just couldnt give me the treatment that I deserve. I decided to just not say anything and just vanish. Living alone is lonely at times. How are you doing now?

    • @jessicamelero1550
      @jessicamelero1550 2 месяца назад

      Any updates on how u feel?

    • @kolsen5420
      @kolsen5420 Месяц назад

      @@madj7152 thats strange, sorry. ghosting is never something to be proud of. hope youre doing well but people deserve better

  • @cutiebear808
    @cutiebear808 Год назад +9

    If anyone needs a second opinion. Here it is. I have had a different journey than Lumma. I have accomplished different things, such as medical education, a profession in critical care medicine, moving to a new state entirely on my own, etc. I have my own downfalls that led me to stray from time alone. For me, it was seeking external validation. I had a different breaking point (so to speak) that finally pushed me to TRULY get comfortable with myself. And despite the different path Lumma and I have had. I wholeheartedly agree with everything she said about being comfortable and happy with just yourself. When you can find not only comfort but happiness in your own company and rely entirely on yourself emotionally and spiritually, it truly is a game changer. From changing your attitude around who you hang out with, to pushing yourself outside of your comfort zone and having the most amazing and beautiful growth. Entirely everything she says is completely accurate. I know one cannot just tell you to wake up one day and just be happy and completely self-sufficient alone. But whatever path life leads you down, I urge you to lean into yourself and away from others. The time to learn and grow into this is invaluable.

  • @ashleysales1958
    @ashleysales1958 Год назад +37

    I’ve been in such a funk since my ex broke up with me and I know this of myself and your videos give me such a big boost of confidence that I can regain my power and independence back regardless if they can back or not. Thank you for being so open and vulnerable and encouraging us all to do the same. ❤️

  • @fahim1630
    @fahim1630 Год назад +2

    Your voice is very comforting. If you had a podcast i would listen to it like every day. 💕

  • @bobbieanderson6328
    @bobbieanderson6328 Год назад +3

    Your video inspires me. I'm a loner myself I needed to hear this.

  • @Catherine-jl7tb
    @Catherine-jl7tb Год назад +7

    Was going through a roadblock today , felt like all the healing i went through was a waste cause i suddenly started feeling the same amount of sadness and broken feeling i had after my breakup. Ur video came right on time. A big thank you !

    • @michelegaichies9856
      @michelegaichies9856 Год назад +2

      Remember, growth and healing takes a lot of time and its not linear !

  • @Juhcamposc
    @Juhcamposc Год назад +4

    Sometimes I find myself a bit weird bc I also have moved countries and I always meet people and make friends from all across the world that also don’t stay for long in one place. I have gotten used to this detached lifestyle and to be honest it’s quite addicting and the people you relate to the most are the ones that have the same “free spirit” as you. It’s hard to relate to a lot of people. You become more selective too. Thank you so much for this video it definitely reassured me that’s it’s ok to be alone and very selective

  • @karmax9134
    @karmax9134 Год назад +5

    I really wish I could get a chance to talk to you because your pep talks seem to be one of the few things that actually make me a little calm. much love ❤️

    • @lummaaziz
      @lummaaziz  Год назад +2

      I might start a website where people can reach out and have one on ones with me!

  • @zerinacuric2613
    @zerinacuric2613 Год назад +13

    I love this ❤ as I have decided to really start changing myself and not wait on anyone, relationships, friendships to experience something.. I have actually planned my first solo trip to a city I’ve never been. I usually get so lost , uncomfortable and anxious when I am going somewhere unknown cuz I am anxious about all the details, like how will I find the acommodation, how will I find my flight alone etc. And always thinking worst case scenarios. Now no matter how anxious I feel , I decided I am going alone on that trip 🤗

  • @_daintyari2169
    @_daintyari2169 Год назад +5

    This was so calming to listen to…going through a breakup and listening to this video while doing laundry just made me so excited about the future. Thank you, you’re quickly becoming one of my fav people. You seem so sweet and very thoughtful.

  • @kristinej.4182
    @kristinej.4182 Год назад +6

    There’s a big difference between being alone and being lonely. Self love and enjoying your alone time is so much easier when you are in a relationship. Yes you can feel lonely if you are with the wrong person…HOWEVER, there’s nothing like the bone wrenching loneliness that you feel when you are really alone and lonely. I went through all shades of loneliness… currently I’m in a healthy loving relationship which actually enhances the love I have for myself even more.

  • @tshego_tshego
    @tshego_tshego Год назад +2

    This feels like hugs❤❤😭
    *holding back tears*

  • @amphoteric
    @amphoteric Год назад +60

    there's a difference between being alone vs. being lonely though. when you have a big social circle (supportive friends and family) or you're in a romantic relationship, being alone isn't bad at all. but for those of us that unfortunately do not have a big social circle, it's really f*cking hard because that's where loneliness creeps in.
    humans are meant to have social connections and intimate (not necessarily romantic/sexual) relationships. i've tried dling friendship apps but those haven't worked at all since nobody rlly responds back the only social interaction i get outside my small team of coworkers is online. i do enjoy being alone at times but i do not enjoy being lonely which unfortunately many of us are due to our circumstances. how can we, as adults, grow our social circle to prevent loneliness?

    • @wonwii1938
      @wonwii1938 Год назад +8

      I’d say a great place to start is going to places where your interests lie, if you’re interested in fitness go to a fitness class (yoga, HIT, swimming, cycling, dance, etc.), if you enjoy art go visit museums, or participate in ceramics or painting classes, and so on with any other interest. It’s easier to meet new people this way and connect since you already share a common interest.

    • @KyKy_444
      @KyKy_444 Год назад +11

      I’m in the exact same situation as you. No friends, no romantic relationships, nothing. There’s no one I can call when I just want to talk. No one to hang out with. I’m not close to anyone and I crave that close connection. Just know that you will truly never be alone because there are people all over the world (like me) who are experiencing the same thing you are. I understand you, I see you, the pain of loneliness is so real and it’s okay to crave intimacy. Stay strong and hopefully one day soon we will find our people. ❤

    • @3456849
      @3456849 Год назад

      ​@@KyKy_444 same here ❤

  • @prathinavaneeth4693
    @prathinavaneeth4693 4 месяца назад

    You are curing wounds Lumma, your voice is so soothing and you have such a beautiful aura. I constantly come back to this video, when things don't go as expected with someone - to reassure myself that I will be fine. Watching your videos make me feel so much better. Continue making content like this. Love you so much. ❣

  • @ayumadias
    @ayumadias Год назад +1

    l feel like I'm growing (as a person) with you. Ever since I've watched your breakup video, I'm hooked and always wait for your pep talk. I live abroad alone and your video feels like that one long-distance friend who always gives endless support. Keep doing you boo!

  • @Kasanova2x
    @Kasanova2x Год назад +5

    not sure how this video popped up on my timeline lol, but this is a really insightful and full of value. good advice for a lot of the young women out there. keep doing your thing. love

    • @lummaaziz
      @lummaaziz  Год назад +1

      Thank you! I love to hear it!

  • @sadiqakhan6885
    @sadiqakhan6885 Год назад +15

    thank you so much Lumma for posting another video! ever since I watched your breakup video, I've been repeating what you say in my head over and over again. I've been healing quite well, but it's lowkey semi fresh still and accepting it completely is tough. I find myself misisng the attention that I had gotten used to in those 5 months. I soon realized I was settling based in one of your previous videos lol.

  • @korelee9079
    @korelee9079 Год назад +2

    Over the past semester, I recently joined a sorority and was overflowed with so much social stimulation that I felt like I really lost myself and my peace. This summer I decided to spend my time alone and am so happy!

  • @srimayeeg1041
    @srimayeeg1041 Год назад +3

    I just got out of a relationship and I really needed to hear this. Thank you so much 🩷

  • @annettelozano5232
    @annettelozano5232 Год назад

    Please please do a Podcast! You are so good, so full of wisdom. Some vloggers your age also pep talks on YT but they’re so full of themselves.

  • @libragirl5533
    @libragirl5533 Год назад +1

    Lumma... Don't stop posting These Kind Of pep Talks...we need It so Badly... You're Soo Soo special To me... you're our Inspiration lumma Love you a Lodsssss....I don't have Words to express How Much You Influenced Me ❤

  • @mismonit
    @mismonit Год назад

    your video made me cry because of the warn i could feel from you, your eyes and comforting voice... thanks a lot!! i feel so calm rn

  • @anjulinaevans9571
    @anjulinaevans9571 2 месяца назад

    I am so happy I found this video... The ending made me tear up I am definitely subscribing love this🤍

  • @sophie_tcb
    @sophie_tcb Год назад +1

    Your voice is so soothing 🤍 I love to listen to your ted talks, keep up your great work! ✨

  • @clauyeon
    @clauyeon Год назад +13

    I loved this pep talk! Everything you said is so true! And i hope you'll continue bringing these types of values on your channel ❤

    • @lummaaziz
      @lummaaziz  Год назад +4

      Aww thank you for being here!

  • @angelayip7357
    @angelayip7357 Год назад +2

    thank you for the prep talk, always make me feel at ease and somehow better as am moving on from breakup. im also someone who cnt stand being alone so seeing your changes n being so strong is very inspiring n empowering.
    im not as strong as u but i def improve and feel more comfortable spending a day on my own just reading books and listening to music
    thank you for these videos n pls keep them coming!

  • @SamuelSurbrook98
    @SamuelSurbrook98 6 месяцев назад

    You seem like a really good person. I really like your channel. You remind me of something my Catholic religion teacher said. You are helping me become a better version of myself. You are really an amazing human being. Heartbreak 💔 is a real thing.

  • @cedrickmanuel6562
    @cedrickmanuel6562 Год назад +4

    idk how you always manage to create such amazing videos with such inspiring messages. They've helped me through a difficult breakup so and I've actually been struggling on how to cope and start being alone again, so this videos came up at the perfect time. Thank you so much

  • @anisafarooq1426
    @anisafarooq1426 Год назад

    you're litterally glowing, look so beautiful as always

  • @anisafarooq1426
    @anisafarooq1426 Год назад

    im an in the worst head space and your videos are literally the first thing i thought of that would help me when i feel thissss low, lysm!

  • @LiburAldred
    @LiburAldred Год назад +3

    Thank you for this video Lumma, your pep talks have been a huge help lately!

  • @sonalisingh8447
    @sonalisingh8447 Год назад +1

    Ur voice is really soothing. It calms my anxiety

  • @whyjustwhy2168
    @whyjustwhy2168 Год назад +3

    Wish u had kids. Any single mom channels like this? That's what I need rn

  • @tosexe2535
    @tosexe2535 Год назад +3

    When you’re in love, make sure you really are in love and not just in love with the idea of being in love.

  • @cutiebear808
    @cutiebear808 Год назад +2

    Also Lumma I love the music you chose to play in the background. It is very fitting and zen. You should consider using music like this more often in your videos ☺️

  • @jessicaselenecenteno
    @jessicaselenecenteno Год назад

    I love eating alone. Even when I’ve been in relationships I’ve always enjoyed and loved my alone time. It’s so sacred.

  • @globalshooky5030
    @globalshooky5030 Год назад

    your energy is so calming, and your videos are helping me so much with my break up, thank you

  • @laura-ng5dd
    @laura-ng5dd Год назад

    lumma you'll never know much i love you bc of this, thankyou😭❤

  • @KASHISHGADE-uk5fi
    @KASHISHGADE-uk5fi Год назад +1

    Going through a break up. It's soo painful, all the emotions r triggering all together. Just feel soo lost confused. Really need this to hear.

  • @Elle-hh9jd
    @Elle-hh9jd Год назад +3

    Thank you lumma 🥹🥹

  • @katyanivarma8125
    @katyanivarma8125 Год назад +3

    I LOVE YOU LUMMA

  • @Cristina-vo9lp
    @Cristina-vo9lp 2 месяца назад

    Thank you for all your videos on breakups❤

  • @Kanto77
    @Kanto77 11 месяцев назад

    Your videos are so comforting

  • @fhay1
    @fhay1 Год назад +1

    Lumma, you must have known I NEEDED this video rn! Love your pep talks so much. I’m in my healing era, bettering myself! ❤

  • @user-gr4yz2mg8c
    @user-gr4yz2mg8c Год назад

    Thank you for your splendid words 🤍🤍

  • @Saweetiee
    @Saweetiee Год назад

    I just recently found out ur channel n now you're one of my comfort youtuber 😊♥thanks so much for sharing this x🌷

  • @estherb9370
    @estherb9370 Год назад +2

    Beautiful ❤ Exactly what I need. Trying to become happy on my own after a break up. Thank you for all your videos, they are helping me a lot!

    • @estherb5872
      @estherb5872 Год назад

      Well wtf.. We have just the same name. But.. yes i agree those kind of videos Help me too! (: :D

  • @tvu_7582
    @tvu_7582 Год назад +4

    NEEDED THIS SO MUCH RN

  • @maaikevaneijk8972
    @maaikevaneijk8972 Год назад +4

    Hiii girl! First of all: I would like to say that you’re a big inspiration to me. Like many others, I discovered you bc of your heartbreak documentary and I get excited everytime you post a new video because your mindset is everything.
    You’re way of living is such a motivation for me, but honestly I don’t know where to begin. I would like to be a content creator myself but where do you start with no experience in the field (photoshop, indesign, video editing etc) because they are asking for it. Could you make a video of your whole career path with more details (how long it took to get where you want to, how did you cover up your finances in between, do you do freelance work and how are you able to do that on remote if you’ve moved cities)? I feel a little bit stuck. Thank you 🤍🤍

  • @NcikDaiz209
    @NcikDaiz209 Год назад +1

    I like these video more than the Q&A!

  • @antonetteapalla1263
    @antonetteapalla1263 Год назад

    I love you lummmaaaa 🥺💕 You always makes me feel better whenever I feel off.

  • @meijuyllasjarvi4169
    @meijuyllasjarvi4169 Год назад +7

    I love that you explain everything so clear❤️

    • @lummaaziz
      @lummaaziz  Год назад +1

      Thank you for subscribing!

  • @macyfowler261
    @macyfowler261 Год назад

    I absolutely love these kinds of pep talks. Youre the best 🤍

  • @Noorrrr
    @Noorrrr Год назад

    Such a beautiful atmosphere and words 😊💕👏🏽

  • @jesusismysevior305
    @jesusismysevior305 Год назад

    Lumma i have been watching your videos for so long and you helped me to really get over my toxic relationship and be good by my own so thank youuuuuu i wish you all the best 😊😍

  • @melissawitham6847
    @melissawitham6847 6 месяцев назад

    Have you ever talked about when being alone has been your norm for so long it’s hard to get in a relationship bc it’s not something you’re used to? I’m kinda like you where I’ve always been alone and am so used to that. Finding the balance is difficult and trusting when you do meet someone to lean into it.
    All my relationships have been short term, partly bc I always link up with people who are *also* used to being alone and then break it off bc they would rather be alone. Gotta break that cycle and find someone long term.

  • @Anshi1234x
    @Anshi1234x 13 дней назад

    didnt even know i needed this!!

  • @yepitsmeaye4932
    @yepitsmeaye4932 Год назад

    Thanks for being the perfect elder sister for us!😭😭

  • @quickielts7
    @quickielts7 Год назад +2

    love your speeches

  • @chauminh7873
    @chauminh7873 Год назад

    i love this pep talk and your background in this video 🤍🤍

  • @kaitlinandrews1
    @kaitlinandrews1 Год назад +6

    I love you lumma 💜 ❤

  • @Maincourse19
    @Maincourse19 Год назад +1

    Love love love you hun! Your vids have helped me so much on the healing journey and I recently had to go through the hard lesson of learning to let go and detach. Still working on it but made so much progress in the past four months.

  • @pacert3204
    @pacert3204 Год назад

    thank you.

  • @mk9nzm6
    @mk9nzm6 Год назад

    Thank you so much.

  • @alexandstitch
    @alexandstitch Год назад +1

    This video is exactly what I need. Thank you.

  • @Freedomsfinest
    @Freedomsfinest Год назад +3

    How to get over a long term relationship and what to do when feeling lonely

  • @jashenneruthbajolo5766
    @jashenneruthbajolo5766 Год назад

    thank you so much, your videos make me feel better and rationalize things.

  • @adventuresoftrip1136
    @adventuresoftrip1136 Год назад

    Thank you Lumma! Your videos really help a lot after going through a breakup.

  • @CAders-hc7th
    @CAders-hc7th 6 месяцев назад

    Damnn the harbour metaphorm! Loved it 💙

  • @stephaniemarieshephard3848
    @stephaniemarieshephard3848 Год назад

    Thank you ❤❤❤

  • @s1lvyyy440
    @s1lvyyy440 Год назад +2

    LUMMMAAA WE LOVE U

  • @Ivycelestewinter-hart
    @Ivycelestewinter-hart 9 месяцев назад

    very beautiful. Thank you! needed to hear this today. x

  • @陳韻如-k2o
    @陳韻如-k2o Год назад

    Thank you 👍🙏

  • @yasminasaidou6897
    @yasminasaidou6897 Год назад +2

    ILY Lumma🥰🥰

  • @josepablozunigaroca9395
    @josepablozunigaroca9395 Год назад

    Thanks for your words. You have helped me a lot with such a great video! Regards!

  • @fbercal
    @fbercal Год назад +1

    Iloooooveyouuuuuu Lumma!

  • @bupenanyangwe226
    @bupenanyangwe226 Год назад

    I really love your videos❤❤your pep talks mean a lot to me with love❤❤

  • @soniaakuasomuah6864
    @soniaakuasomuah6864 Год назад +5

    Hi Lumma love your videos so far
    Ps I really look forward to you recommending books ❤❤

    • @lummaaziz
      @lummaaziz  Год назад +1

      I will keep this in mind!

  • @eljstreets
    @eljstreets Год назад

    i needed this today thank you!

  • @wilsoncoriticona7295
    @wilsoncoriticona7295 10 месяцев назад

    has very beautiful skin

  • @shayla3652
    @shayla3652 Год назад

    i love u lumma thank you for this 🩷

  • @kristinej.4182
    @kristinej.4182 Год назад +1

    Humans innately are social creatures. We are not made to be in isolation and love flourishes and becomes more meaningful when shared. Thus we all long to be in a loving romantic relationship regardless of how much self love we can give ourselves. Let’s be real here….

  • @staystrong355
    @staystrong355 Год назад

    Thank you! Helped me so much!

  • @nr4390
    @nr4390 Год назад

    This made my day 🥺❤️

  • @libby8002
    @libby8002 Год назад +1

    needed this ❤

  • @ambrevta
    @ambrevta Год назад

    I watch your videos religiously I swear

  • @jdancer713
    @jdancer713 Год назад

    lovedd this j what i needed to hear rn

  • @kawya7292
    @kawya7292 Год назад

    Lumma You are Glowing❤

  • @honey5075
    @honey5075 11 дней назад

    Jumping into a sponsorship immediately is definitely.. a choice..

  • @guppyriella
    @guppyriella Год назад

    Needed this ❤️

  • @Bellawasme7
    @Bellawasme7 Год назад +5

    Lumma ♡♡♡♡❤❤🎉

  • @ilyneamari3398
    @ilyneamari3398 11 месяцев назад

    Girl this is one of the best videos i’ve ever watched. I really needed it. Thanks a lot.

  • @mgacofficialyt
    @mgacofficialyt Год назад +26

    I hope he didn’t break ur heart AGAIN😑

    • @lummaaziz
      @lummaaziz  Год назад +89

      Hi! I'm still with my boyfriend and VERY much in love, this is just a video on being alone haha, I still feel it's important to be independent whilst in a relationship x

    • @nwabisasibanda4622
      @nwabisasibanda4622 Год назад

      Yeah love it
      Thank you so much for the advice

    • @mgacofficialyt
      @mgacofficialyt Год назад

      @@lummaaziz good to hear dear🥰

    • @Invictusion
      @Invictusion Год назад

      Is she in a relationship with the guy beforr

  • @preranaitagi5553
    @preranaitagi5553 Год назад

    So I've recently cut a whole group of toxic friends out of my life as they were really affecting my mental health and I tried for months to deal with it in different ways and not take the huge step to completely remove them from my life but I've reached a point now where its the only thing left to do to prioritize my mental health. It has been really tough on me since most of my friends live in different cities and the only group of people I used to hangout with are out of my life now. I spend most of my time alone, I have nobody to hangout with. Could you please talk about this situation in your next video and help me out please