Stop Being A FAKE "People Pleaser" 👉 Be REAL Instead!
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- Опубликовано: 3 май 2022
- People don't want you to be nice... Discover why having the COURAGE to be authentic is the key to advanced social skills!
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Julien Blanc (AKA JulienHimself) is a Swiss-born, U.S.-based self-help speaker, entrepreneur and transformational coach.
Since 2010, he has been traveling around the world and has personally coached tens of thousands of clients face to face... Empowering them to create massive success in their lives!
His record-breaking programs Transformation Mastery, Transformation Mastery Live, Transformation Mastery Live Advanced, Transformation Mastery Academy & Transformation Mastery Mentoring help people around the world achieve the HEALTH, WEALTH, RELATIONSHIPS & HAPPINESS they deserve!
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Stop Being A FAKE "People Pleaser" 👉 Be REAL Instead!
Stop being a people pleaser and be real instead! In this video, Julien Blanc (AKA Julien Himself) exposes the disease to please... Discover how to stop being a people pleaser and how to stop people pleasing when it comes to improving your social skills.
#authenticity #bereal #peoplepleaser
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Comment your top takeaway from this video here below! I personally read through EVERY SINGLE COMMENT!!!
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🚨 WATCH ME NEXT
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- How I improved my social skills as fast as I could: ruclips.net/video/PpDf7QWPBDE/видео.html
- Learn how to make people chase you: ruclips.net/video/_FuyBUx69XA/видео.html
Push pull convo is awesome but it should come out naturally
Always be direct the other one is scam
I realized I'm not as "honest" as I take myself to be, despite being a dedicated yogi.
I typically pride myself on my honesty, being that I refrain from falsehood (as in telling lies) as much as possible.
But I see now that I still hide much of what I wish to say in many instances.
So in a way hiding my truth is kind of just as bad as telling lies. And I see that I usually do this to avoid stepping on others toes. Obviously that's an aspect of ppl pleasing. And its dishonest.
Well..no more Mr. Nice Yogi! 😈 lol
Can u make a vid debunking the blackpill
Booked my free coaching. Took 3 weeks rather than 72 hours to get a call. Then had a telephone call schedule with one of your assistants. He called me three and a half hours after the scheduled time. I love your videos but I wasn't impressed with your team so I Didn't nice forward with the call.
Yeah this is a huge point that many people get confused about. You do want to have a healthy ego, but balance it with empathy. When you have both, people you meet will perceive a reasonableness and authenticity, as opposed to someone who's pandering out of neediness or desperation which is a massive UNATTRACTIVE trait. The practice of empathy brings the ego within a healthy zone. Others will see a person they can trust and follow.
This makes so much sense… greatly put into words.
Being real takes practice just like anything else. The more you are the real you, the better the real you will be
Push / pull reveals how people need the chance to invest in you as well, but it's when you LIVE your truest confidence that the effect transforms from being a brief spike to an ongoing response from people -Owen
Yes! Authenticity is the key that naturally takes care of all of this! 🙏
That part about not being able to 'cheat your way there' is so ironic, because we think we need to be at a certain level of income, status, looks, etc. to gain the network needed to get the things we desire.
The truth is that just giving off that authentic vibe is the ACTUAL cheat code, you don't need anything other than the ownership of who you really are to forge the relationships that will enable you to reach heights previously inconceivable to the deepest parts of your mind.
Yes, exactly! 🔥🔥🔥
Key takeaway: I need to be honest and real with myself. Right now, I can't even admit my truest feelings of my life until now. I need to sit at a mirror and get myself talking real shit
You got this! 🔥👊
I prefer Upper / Lowebody over Push/Pull
I love the analogy of being punched in the stomach and even if we were being restricted and held back, at a certain point we’ll be “disgusted” and had enough and try to get out of that. Like a guy named Tyler Durden once said..
“Hitting bottom isn't a weekend retreat. It's not a goddamn seminar. Stop trying to control everything and just let go! LET GO!”
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Julien you're amazing brother, appreciate all the content you provide for free!! absolute gem.
Thank you! Glad my content is helpful! 🙏🙏
It was So tough dating a people pleaser. He was never honest and then blows up later on. Tried helping him be aware of it too but you can only help yourself
Julian thank you for being so dang relatable! Also for making complex subject matter such as psychology simple. It's refreshing to have self improvement in small digestible portions..
Thanks for the videos man, I'm currently breaking this personality trait and my own anxiety in social situations. I really feel this because on days where I was ready to kill it and my day was going great I'd get great responses and on harder days I'd get less. So I know it's real. It's nice seeing how to pinpoint the problem and get it broken down in a way that's easy to absorb. I feel like I can actually focus on the problem that's holding me back. I appreciate your explanations ✊🏼
I had a parent that I had to walk on eggshells around....you better agree on everything is how it felt...when you grow up and realize they weren't perfect and believing them stunted your own personal development, that takes a long time to undo mentally!
Thank you Julien! You generously provide so much value on RUclips for free! It's really helping me. :)
You're very welcome! Glad to hear my content has been so helpful for you! 🙏
Bro you are actually insane with this. I completely understood everything and it hella resonated with me thank you so much
Amazing to hear! You’re very welcome!
Thank you Julien. Your content helped me for the better. I’m proud of the changes I’ve made socially, due to your help and others.
Amazing to hear! Happy for you! 🔥👊
Years upon years of creating mental barriers, out of insecurity and fear, inflicted harm to my social relationships and caused me to PUSH and PUSH my head up my own ass.
With Julien's help, I am in the process of PULLING it out. Thank you Grand Master 🙏
Glad to hear things are going better for you! You got this! 🙏
that's the spirit right there
Love the perspective of confronting challenges everytime an uncomfortable scenario comes up-I love challenges when it comes to work but when it came to my social life I’ve simply been admitting defeat, rather than giving myself a chance to participate and engage. Just ran into your content but came at a great time, really been struggling with this myself. Thank you!
Welcome to the channel! Glad this content resonates! 🙏
I’m really glad I stumbled across your videos and actually started to pay attention. I never knew what anxiety even was and now I actually am learning how to deal with it and I’m able to help people I care about deal with anxiety. And now I’m taking your mentoring program cause I want to continue down this path of learning more about myself so I can stop being afraid and help others with their fears that they don’t even know they have. Truly thankful for you and excited/ nervous about this path that I’m going down.
Can you help me with my social anxiety
@@ownown8585 you are the only one who can help yourself with that
Amazing to hear! Brace yourself for one crazy transformational ride with the mentoring! 🙏
Theres a weirdly perfect connection with this video, because there's this speech that's coming up in are class which is nerve raking , so to get in that I guess comfort is to talk out loud while doing an assignment. Just the little things might help you get used to doing a speech...😇
If the problem is in the mind/head, the answer is in the body/physical, and vise versa.
YESSSS!! This is the energy right here! This video was so motivating and helpful. THANK YOU! *derp* lol
Dude, seriously, thank you.
You’re so welcome! 🙏
Great video as always bravoo👍 I wish you would also touch upon what to do when your "fakeness" is a direct result of years and years of people turning on you and friends leaving you every single time you started to let go just a little bit and be carefree. A consistent experience of that causes someone to feel like maybe their real self is not fun enough or not worth loving. So we put on a front and that becomes our shield. 😢 also it doesn't help how the generation we live in now punishes genuineness with cancel culture and rewards herd-like behavior. It's no wonder ppl are more afraid of being themselves and saying how they really feel.. so the problem for a lot of us isn't just being more real, it's how everyone hates us when we do.
Btw I felt like the only girl who's watching him because of his audience but I don't care I still appreciate the valuable insight 😁👍
Making a note to make another video going even deeper on this soon! Thank you! 🙏
@@JulienHimself oh yess! Your videos have helped me tremendously already, I can't wait 😁 thanks
Thank you!
I need to learn this
The truth seems to be the most winning formula at the ‘end of the day’
Yes! 👌
We have the same name lol thanks for everything. Happy to see you still posting, keep it up. Legend.
A media scandal is on its way to you
@@youssefmikhael3044 Hahaha
Nice! Glad this content resonates! 🙏
Amazing knowledge. Thanks Julien!
Thank you! You’re very welcome!!
Absolutely life changer mate... as always!🔥 Just a basic explaination here, when in every video you refer to "let go" of smthing. The "right" let go is take this out of you in order not to feel it again or accept it will be here no matter what and rename it as something good that has to be there?
Letting go = letting go of any resistance/attachment = accepting 😉
Here is the cheat code. If i can literally just sit around basking in my own happiness and love and self-satisfaction then that short-circuits all of life.
That's the genius of this method. That's its power. You think this is a bug. This is not a bug. This is a feature. This is exactly what you want. You want to short circuit that because you see then it frees you up.
Quality of problems . Quality of life . Well done !
Yes! 🙌
That last minute of the video. 😳🔓
Proud of hearing that my country is an example of bravery to most people today. Hello from Ukraine, Julien!
🙏🙏🙏
i will say one thing, dont open up too soon to women, the less she knows the longer youll last
What’s up bro your content really helps hope you reply to this. Like you said the more I step up to challenges the easier it gets and it feels like a game of momentum in a way but for some reason sometimes I lose that momentum or mindset and go back to this phase of being “stuck” again. Question for you, how do you stay in that mindset and keep that momentum. Is there ever still times where your in and out of these “phases”
Hey, for this to be permanent it has to be combined with inner work and letting go. Otherwise, yes it’s just momentum…
Great stuff as always 🔥
Thanks man!
That godmode part... When you play the game with cheats, lets say you give yourself unlimited money etc, you get bored with it in a brief moment and you turn it off. What more, if you dont enjoy playing it, but still you have a target, even if you get what you wanted you still wont be happy
You are great ❤
mindfulness based meditation....... When i try To meditate i can t feel the triggers but when im walking or playing or studying when i remember the things THEN i get triggered so if i try To feel the sensations during these breef moments would it work ???
Can u make a video debunking the blackpill nonsense
Great stuff
Thank you! What was your top takeaway?
Great video
Thanks!
🙏🙏🙏
6:00 That's what I did 'yesterday' coincidentally. Without hitting me. It just came over me to act as if I suddenly woke up and I stood up and (silently) "yelled" at me 'what the fuck I'm doing here' and "look around, where the fuck are you" and something like "don't act like you're acting right now! This is not a joke! I'm someone else right now, speaking through you! You have been someone else anyways all the time..." ...forcefully trying to be 'woker than woke' [or rathe as if I was 'sleeping' until now]
...an the I switched back to normal.
... I suppose. 😏
Ive struggled alot with being a people pleaser for most of my life, but ive definitely come along way and changed alot for the better after watching your content.
I have a question though, Is being 100% real 24/7 the right way to live? the example that I have in mind when writing that question is if an acquaintance makes a not so funny joke infront of a group that you also dont find funny but you give them a small petty chuckle just to not make the vibe awkward. I definitely do that because I know how bad it feels to make a joke and have no one laugh. is it bad to do that?
Watch this… Touches on authenticity + relatability: ruclips.net/video/Pn00Fdy7k3Q/видео.html 😉
Not sure the Proxy Puppet 'President' story will age well. He's done well for himself as the Pandora papers attest to. The Duran will show you another side of the supposed 'plucky' warrior. Aside from that, excellent stuff and hope you write a book some day to leave your mark for the future unborn who need guidance.
Lol its true about Zelensky, how fast did his image change in the world in these two months, im proud of the man. Im living in Ukraine, in a safe place so far. And last week found your channel, i think i watched 27 videos from one playlist already. Loving your work and the way you bring up different situations, stories and just the way you're explaining everything
What about the Nazi fighting group though in Ukrainian army , US and UK knew about them
Hey man, umm... I'm going to be completely honest, I'd like to believe that your going to read this maybe even give me so life altering advice. You say that "people would love to have my problems." I don't wish my problems on anyone. Sure there are people that could shrug it off as if it were nothing, I'm different, these events in my life have altered who I am, who I could have become. Some may say, "It's what you make it out to be." But I've been optimistic before man. Only pain, disappointment and shock followed. I've been like this ever since the first event back in 3rd grade. I'm 22 now, I don't respond to these traumatic events as others do, and I never forget. Even long after the person who traumatized me does. Those times I make wye contact with them and see no recollection or signs of familiarity. Imagine breaking someone then shrugging it off, never remembering what it is you did to them. I remember every time I've hurt someone. I realize that I'm the one holding myself back, and I must come to peace with the other part of me I consider to be a separate entity. Currently I'm a lead at a food service establishment. It's not the most glamorous job but I'm unsure of where else to venture. Everything seems like I wouldn't want to do for an extended amount of time. That aside, I have and opportunity soon to become an Assistant Manager there, the pay is definitely better and the benefits start to come. But I am unfortunately being held back by my inability to not people please, to not be conflict avoidant and also to lead and train some difficult employees. A huge part of this is the conflict, I don't like it, it brings the worst out of others and makes them feel down. I don't like to hurt people, I realize that sometimes in order to help people you must be firm and strict. I stopped having a backbone a long time ago and fear to be the bad guy. Then there's the customers, they're not all bad, but some of them get very difficult when they don't like the portions I'm forced to give, as is company procedures, we are trained and expected to give very specific portion amounts and I have no control over that amount. Nor can I change it just because they're upset. Honestly when it comes to life man I'm tired of feeling like I have to be like that of a floor mat in order to feel safe, to feel like I'm not going to be bashed and hurt. Others opinions are all I really have left due to not really caring about my own. Sorry for the rant man, I know your very busy but if there's any advice you could throw me so I can take my life back and become the confident mentally strong man I once would have been I'd appreciate it more than tou could possibly know. Once asked a couple other individuals as experienced as yourself for help. The first told me to buy his pretty expensive book and courses, a 14 year old looking for help. The 2nd never answered, and a 3rd not so experienced one did his best but I'm still lost/unsure. Thanks man.
whennim beaing real people thinks i have an actitud problem ...jesus..
the last one wass boss.ahahaha and i dont give a fuck
Ha try twin flames 😂😂
u mean push pull legs? I've just started doing it in the gym very effective workout 💪
Lol, I was referring to emotional/verbal push-pull… In a conversation. 😉
@@JulienHimself I was joking cause I'm a gym rat 😳😳😳
Rate his fit and haircut 1-10 👇🏼
People pleasing gets you nowhere,just dont give a f$$k
gem
🙏
I don't know how to be real😢
I dont like him because he isn't saying things we want to hear he says the things we need to hear and the truth is always hard.
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13:03
Ganggang
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Julian!
*Julien 😉
@@JulienHimself what a push !! 😜
Please challenge yourself to not use the word "like" every 4th word and you will sound ten times smarter and more professional.
You forgot legs
Cool vid
Thanks! What was your top takeaway?
@@JulienHimself stop overthinking, but think creatively with clear intentions, I treat a lot of situations like a chess match.
I just find it funny how their new content goes full circle arriving at normie advice. I guess be yourself was the answer all along.
It "takes care" of all the other "tricks". First seek the kingdom of god - bottomline basics 🙂 (?)
thats why "be yourself/be authentic" is the best advice ever.
WE ALL BOW DOWN AND PRAISE AND WORSHIP YOU O MERCIFULEST LORD AND SAVIOR MIGHTIEST JESUS GOD SPIRIT CHRIST GOD SPIRIT IN HEAVEN AND EARTH AMEN AMEN 🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏 IN HEAVEN AND EARTH AMEN AMEN 🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏
Actually God mode is basically impossible in video games it's the hardest setting 😅😅😅
Lol, always thought that was "hard core" mode... 👌
👋
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🤣😂I quit my job today just for that reason.
Family and friends doesn't exist. Think about it. You were born alone. You will leave this earth 🌎 the same way. This earth wasn't made to have family and friends. Stop looking for people and find yourself. One more thing, stay away from people that always want to fit in. They always want to be in every crowd of people.
Great topic, cringe political commentary.
I am kind of shocked that he is believing those stories
@@christianbruckner6626 this is what happens when we specialize in one area like Julien rightfully does. It's hard to stay abreast of all the crazy lies these days, even if it was your full time job to do so. That's why it's best not to even bring up politics unless it's in your wheelhouse.
@@InReality33 Yes mate, I came to the same conclusion. I know the agenda where we are heading and the last ~5 years confirmed everything. And somehow I unterstand the people who are pulling the strings. I have to admit I admire them. Like Julien knows to transform people, they know how to transform the masses in the way they like. I don't blame Julien, I just never would have thought that he is taking those mainstream narratives without a grain of salt. Enjoy the decline and prepare in a healthy way. Wish you the best and sorry, English is not my first language. Peace :)
@@christianbruckner6626 thanks, bro, I felt the love in that! Good luck to you as well.