INFJ HERMIT MODE GLOW UP SERIES (PART 1) - DISTANCE YOURSELF
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- Опубликовано: 7 фев 2025
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INFJ Life Coach Lesson: Get ready for the INFJ Hermit Mode Glow Up series! I know a lot of you were curious about this topic, and boy, do we have some exciting insights to share. Are you stuck in the Hermit mode? Wondering if it'll ever end? Well, buckle up, because we're diving deep into the transformative power of creating your own INFJ Epic life. Say goodbye to the old world, because once you start blazing your own path, there's no going back. You'll still encounter familiar faces and places, but trust me, you'll be a whole new version of yourself. Get ready for an adventure unlike any other. Let's go!
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What are some of your favorite aspects of the INFJ HERMIT MODE?
Just being by myself & doing absolutely nothing or whatever I want. Heaven! Don’t bug me!
I like the fact that I can see my strength. My own self reliance and independence (which I believe we are as INFJs). Ironically these are traits that I am currently figuring out how to love. I am aware of the benefits of these traits but wondering who will love this about me? What romantic partner will see this as lovable? My parents didnt. They wanted me co dependent and think their thoughts and "do" what they said versus me being allowed to explore this independence that I love!!!
Hermit mode allows me to connect with my spiritual side deeply, and that is a special place for me to be. Also, I can reduce outside stressors so I can rebuild.
The unschedualed sleep patterns, then waking up full of energy and ideas and getting it completed then call it art.
I can be myself 100% totally!
I’ve been in hermit mode for nearly 4 years.
I don’t want to come out. I create so much art. Walks in
Nature alone. I am so happy being by myself.
I very much resonate with this and I will be short and sweet.
Basically, I was so codependent before and let's just say that it almost killed me.
As a consequence, I am so happy being by myself because I can be myself totally!
Nobody to stop me now in my pursuit of my own self! (which makes me happy...)
This is beautiful! Keep thriving 🫶🏾
@@tamiaj851 ❤️
@@Chercheure_Indépendante ❤️
@@muma6559 ❤️
Solitude is the only place that you're going to find yourself. Detaching from all bs projections from peers and from family. Those broken immature past versions of yourself that people cling and hold you to. You are not what people project onto you.
❤ 17:19
yes yes yes. Had to distance myself from a few friends because their words didn’t match their actions. I sensed they were lying to me so I distanced myself, and I’m focusing on my studies. I still haven’t given them a reason but I feel much better for choosing myself.
Very perceptive comment thanks
This is what I need to read. Thank you
I've been in hermit mode for several years now, since 2016. My growth has been exponential. I probably will never rejoin "society". It just doesn't have anything I want. Those who judge me get erased and blocked. Life is so simple and way less stressful this way.
Love it!! What do you do for work?
Hermit mode gives me the space to process all my experiences, which can be a lot.
💯 10:40
Love my alone time . Love to create, no drama from people
❤ 13:25
In fact the cat annoys me sometimes 😂 although I can't blame her, I do spoil her 😂
I am im Gotham City right now and do feel how you have explained in this video. When I say I am fighting for my life right now. I think a non INFj person may see this statement as a metaphorical repsonse - but for me - I am literally fighting for my life. Left a narc husband that been married to for 15 years (my son is still with him) - sleeping on my parents couch in a small 2 bedroom apartment - now living with my parents again - relaizing my dad is a narc - mom has controlling tendencies (now I know how I ended up with husband) - Its like I am bathing in a bath of toxicity - and now I am fighting for my identity - my sanity - my strength - - the well being of my son - this series has come at a poignant time - and I am filled with appreciation - I am very afraid but my back is against the wall - Its War B***es (figuratively).
Puurrr bring the heat on queen.
Hey have you heard of Sheraseven's RUclips video. Her videos give strength to an INFJ
I’ve been there, it gets better! Like Wenzes says, it may be the best thing that can happen to you, it was for me. This is when you find who you are.
Suggestion:Get the best lawyer you can afford if you are divorcing a narc!
You definitely have the strength to push through that situation. Hope the best for you on your journey back to your true self!
I drive Iron Ore trains in the desert. 3km long trains all by myself. I'm alone for pretty much 10 hours of every shift then alone in my room at the camp for 2 weeks a time. It's the perfect job for me.
i've been in hermit mode for 10 years and let me tell you, I love it now, Im so happy like this I dont even want to interact with people anymore, except my family.
The only problem I´ve been aware is that I started to hate people for all their difects, and specially, their unwillingness to be better, but I´m still treat them with all the kind and respect they deserv.
I am into the anti social, social club. Fact is, people do suck most of the time, at least some good 90%. They're sneaky, untrustful, narcissists, materialistic, skindeep, and oh boy...most of them are just sucking out your life energy, like vampires, or being such a time waste, anyway. And i do know exactly what i am saying, i've seen this for more than 3 decades...spent time with yourself, learn a new language, enjoy life & nature, love your pet, or get one...this all makes much (more) sense in life to me, than just a "friend" or even worse, someone you do love, which into the end just fools & plays you. I like being weird, i am always true to myself, and that's all what counts. Can't stand all this fake outside world, all these fake & B$ ppl...i don't give a damn. I don't change anymore for any person, to be "liked", that word does just have such negative impact, since this creepy faceblob came to life. Animals are pure, unlike some beasty humans..when they like & love you, they do it for real, unlike (many) humans. Many people in your life come to you for one reason only - to get what they want from you. And once they have it, they move on to the next person they can take advantage of. We see this coming, way into advance, and don't fall for these creeps. I'd rather being alone, then to "play" another version of me, to be appreciated by specific person(s), which only would appreciate me into a specific way. This is B$, those superficial ppl should being left alone into the dust. they're simply fake, and such a rediculous time waste.
I'm so glad you present the unflattering side of INFJ life.
"That we are this emotional garbage bag"
This spoke to Me so much.
I think basically you described shadow work. because we are such people pleasers, tend to want to live in harmony, make everyone feel good, we have to deep dive into our opposite, anti characteristic, which is to be selfish. once we have experienced that and have abandoned our supposed "fixed" INFJ frame, we can go back. that is the way we grow.
In a hermit mode atm, its been a blessing because for my whole life I've been actively using my extraverted feeling and thinking of others. Now that im practicing detachment, I've directed the extraverted feeling more towards myself because that's the only way to protect my peace
i could not have expressed this any better. exactly where i am as well
She looks so beautiful she looks 22 years old here. How amazing.
More like 33
I'm 100% here for this series! ❤🔥
All around me I see friends and acquaintances constantly getting together and doing things. I feel like an alien because I don’t want to do anything with anyone. It’s not due to depression or anything, it’s just I have no social reserve. Even when I do go out with friends or am around others, I am invisible, and I am actively trying to be friendly and outgoing. It’s happened to me all my life. I honestly just feel like I need to go full hermit mode and disappear for a while.
needed this truly, been trying to hermit and people are trying to invite themselves over. They tell me it's ok that we can sit in silence. They don't get my hermit mode🥴
I went into hermit mode last summer and one friend is now huffy because I won't have a get together with my hubby and them. Just having to explain why is something I don't feel I should have to do. no more energy drainers!
Yeah but, they can't just sit in silence can they. 🤓
Glad you are talking about this subject.
Love my alone time.
My "Gotham" is the start of my choosing to say No! Going through the transition of "helping" too much. The transition of being their garbage bag. The transition of saying, "I am sorry, I am not available to attend your party" The transition of feeling like I am being mean or rude by beginning to eliminating them from my life. I honoring *my* time and life. If they truly like me, they will see that and respect that.
As you and other INFJ say, we live a segmented life. Showing diffferent versions of us to different people and only showing our true selves to those who we deem worthy or those who may not be prepared for what we are, light. Sometimes, or often, we might not want to tell others or show our true selves simply because they wont care or them simply not understanding the endless thoughts in our mind and, for me personally, hoping that there will be someone out there who understand me. Im prepared to step into my power, regardless of what anyone thinks 🌱🧘♂️
I must say something before listening to this. Maybe it's just me but I tend to listen more to others than to listen to myself. Of course, listening to others is great. And it's better to listen too much to others than to be a self centered ignoramus. I get that. But on the other hand, I still have this tendency. Which means that people do not really know me since I am all over the place and this needs to change. I am not only sharing that for myself in order to give myself a kick in the butt but also to help those who have the same tendency. (not that I am lazy, that's the opposite and my mind is always working when I am awake so this is not a sign of a lazy person, quite the contrary - we are passionate and knowledgeable to the very least!) Maybe it is just me who got that sort of "developmental codependency" but if not then, we need to not waste our lives like this because our lives are already short. I know Wenzes already spoke about putting ourselves first, this is not exactly what I am talking about here. To be influenced by others is fine but I want to reach a 50% - 50% deal or at least, a 60%-40% deal. Thank you for reading.
My favourite aspects of my delicious and much craved alone time are my mind, my heart and my creative flow. I indulge my varied interests and hobbies. I can dive deep in my own thoughts, or simply BE, just listeningvto the birds and insects. Heaven.
No one complaining or wanting. Me, just being.
I go into hermit mode from time to time and it lasts 1-2 months, I just need some time to plan, think things through and then take action and it takes me a month usually to plan stuff out
This makes me happy. Been stuck for sometime. However, I feel more intelligent and am able to see the world at its bare bones.
I just recently - i really like the person i am. I love my values.
Distancing myself from childhood friends has been hard, but I know it’s worth it for me if I want to grow and be true to myself. One day at a time.
Ive been in hermit mode since Covid started. I am starting to get back to the outside word. Starting in person class, going to meeups and joining clubs.
I can relate to this 🙌🏻 First I went back to school and now joining clubs to reintroduce myself to the wild lol. Wenzes is right though, it's not the same, it feels like a different dimension even though the people/places are similar, I feel like a different person after the hermit mode.
I tried reintroducing a social life but found it to be stressful. I'm a different person now and cannot tolerate stupidity the way I used to😮
Dark top makes your eyes pop!
🙏 so much . Just learned I am an INFJ (via MBTI testing) just a few days ago. I thought "no way... that just can't be!!!" But I have been through intense research mode since the test and now have come to a state of acceptance in that all that the pieces seem to fit. Thankfully have found - and watched in amazement - many of your videos. This is just the start of this eye-opening, awareness journey I have embarked on. Have your posters now. Getting your book next. Have so much gratitude that you are here! ps: Now in hermit mode for 4 years..basically since the onset of the pandemic and hopefully on the precipice of climbing out of this mode. I'm now exhausted of being in it.
Self love, knowledge and acceptance is the KEY for infjs !!
Perfect timing! I've recently realized I need to dive into hermit mode. I so appreciate all your videos that are helping me learn more about myself and embrace who I am. ❤
I don't like being a hermit and am always trying to find ways to break out. I do have one person I cannot shake and the reason why is I know the person is like myself. I have severed ties with so many over my 64 years but this one is a hard one for me to completly let go of so I do what Wenzes says on here giving all but receiving very little hoping it will turn around with the right actions or words. Tough one because the person is an influencer with hundreds of people trying to get the persons attention. INFJ stuff. I plan on downloading the poster and following for December. Looking forward to that. Happy Holidays everyone. Ken
I live in my Suburban and i work by myself in a surveillance room. Extreme Hermit Mode!! LOL I love it too much.
Thank you for getting through to me. I’m taking steps for the first time to stand up for myself. To do things for me not sacrifice my life for others. It feels a little exciting and a little scary.
I love this so much. I have been inadvertently in hermit mode for a while and knowing everything has to change. This guidance is so incredibly helpful. Definitely ready to phase into part 2!
I’m soooo ready for this series!! 🙌🏻Thank you Wenzes!!❤️
I've gotten more and more anti-social over the years... every interaction feels like a job... Every time i think "Oh, this is someone i can trust" they end up betraying and disappointing me... I went 0 contact with my toxic family... got rid of every person in my freind group that only comes to me for 'therapy' but is never there for me when i need them... I'm so sick and tired of people... i can't...they only bring me misery...
Sadly, I feel like this a lot. I think integrity is a quality that is not valued much anymore.
Me too ♡
Wow, this hits home so much. I often think I'm not being a good person if I'm not helping or doing something for someone else.
Today I started the hermit mode, opened YT and see this xD ❤❤🎉🎉 looking forward on this series
DUDEEE!! ❤❤ My life has completely changed since last year when I watched your videos for the first time. It became my daily habit to watch your videos all the time like every morning, while I was commuting from work or when I needed a motivation to create that INFJ EPIC LIFE. Thank you for the INFJ self-empowerment service that you've done since you started your INFJ journey it made me realize if you can do it, we can do it as well 😍😍 ILYSM wenzes! 🔥🔥🔥💪
Amazing video and topic!!
As an enfp I can relate quite a bit, and I just wanna say that the world misses you infjs in hermit mode, and that you should come out soon when you're reaady as your natural, God-given, liberated self, free from ridcule, aware and nurturing of your own needs.
I'm in hermit mode after trying a lot of stuff to fit in over the years. Including improv courses(which are full of people who should be like me but aren't). Nothing works. I have no real social circle and I've not been in relationship since 2009. All I have is my creative project, my magnum opus. But it is a lonely path. I need motivation to keep the creative fire burning while feeling my life years slip away, alone.
One thing that enabled me to even feel good about going into hermit mode was building up enough boundaries to *know* that I can distance myself without guilt. Because that guilt is pervasive, especially when its a parent or sibling. Needing space, needing emotional and interconnective distance from them. But one day it just set in that if they care about me, they'll accept I need space to figure myself out. Or at the very least accept my decision even if they don't understand the reasons.
I identified very much with what you described here, having grown up in an extremely "extrovert ideal" era. My mother was extremely extroverted, but in retrospect, I think she had more introverted tendencies than she either realized, didn't admit to. And it wasn't just her. Almost everyone in my surroundings were either extroverts or people who wished they were or thought they "should" be. Also, extrovert meant "outgoing" and "introvert" meant "reserved and shy" - a big time generalization for sure.
It was after taking the Myers-Briggs test in 1987 that I found out I was an INFJ what it really meant to be "introverted." And that started my learning (albeit without the internet) the meaning of much of what you share in this video. Many ,of my earlier struggles might not have happened as often - or maybe not at all - if I'd known it.
I definitely learnethe fantastic point you made about distancing ourselves from certain people,and to quit trying to make them approve. First, I learned that it wasn't likely to happen. Second, was that it actually didn't matter, once I started valuing myself.
This video really catches the whole situation accurately. I'm looking forward to the ones that will follow.
This is so relatable to me as an INFJ... love this channel so much.. I'm so glad that I found you Wenzes!!!
I feel the same.
Wenzes is most definitively the best channel on RUclips concerning INFJ...
People play games so much, I just need to get some air sometimes.
I have been hermit from 2021 until 2022. I have never felt so much calmneess and progress wver since i discovered that. Now, based on my circumstances, I have to work with people that involved with people in crisis. My only problem is my narcissistic and psychopatic colleagues. Sighhh
I'm just looking for a friendship that nourishes both parties! It is so hard to find. But no worries, I have my cat 😂
I love how you talked about how liking one’sself impacts the start of hermit mode!
When I tell people how I really think most don’t prefer me.
I see the rock star of yesteryear Jim Morrison of the Doors and his embracing being the black sheep of his family as being the best thing that ever happened to him.
I need solitude to recharge. Its the only place where I feel balance or parity inside of me and outside of me. I do big things during my time with others, and I am proud of what I contribute, but it takes so much energy to resist inevitable negative external opinions or to help others dream instead of fear.
I relate to this. Thanks
¡Gracias!
I'm almost 36 and just now entering my "real" hermit mode, I thought I had been, but past 6 months I've truly been grasping this concept to its fullest, and choosing ME.
I live alone in a very rural place here in Northern Vermont. It is so different from Boston where creativity and uniquness is more acceptable. I really tried to fit in here but it was exhausting because i'm an artist musician and devoted Christian INFJ; talk about a wiedo ! Now I love hermiting up and getting my music and spirit ready for ministry. Truely, I should have been myself all along but I got lonely and tried to "act" more like the normal people. This behavior blew up in my face so many times. Now I feel like I have real friends;, because I found a few who actually like my uniqueness; a few of them trumps hundreds who only accept me when i wear a mask. Wenzes has alot of great advise for us INFJ's. Stay away from those who are unloving toward you. Jesus is king. peace.
You're not a weirdo, I gave up going to churches because it seemed to be too much about socializing and not about the important things.
Have you looked into Asperger’s in women and girls? I totally identify with everything you say, and I am an INFJ, but I recently discovered I have Asperger’s. I’m 41 and therefore a lot older than you, and it is quite common for women to not discover this until about my age. Just thought it might be something you and followers of your channel want to look into. At first I was devastated to discover this, but now it’s a huge relief. It’s still a big challenge learning what this means for me, but I can finally breathe a big sigh of relief too. ❤️
It’s not a real thing anymore. It is not in the DSM
This is ur best hairstyle !
Hermit mode, only partly by choice. Reducing anxiety.
LET´S GET IT LET´S GO ⚔❄⚔❤🔥⚔
You are so accurate in your understanding of INFJ relationships. Your advice to focus on yourself and your personality mode is inspiring. I'm in emotional hermit mode right now and have been for the last year or so. Just never thought of it that way. And while I don't wish to give any pain to others, compromise has gone out the door.
Thanks for your insights from all the deep thinking you must have done
you are on it dude its a pleasure to see, muchas gracias
Take this how you will, I wish you were my mom, or that my mom had your level of understanding. I dislike having to learn all these lessons as a young adult, but I choose to now. Thank you for being a light of understanding that I can reflect on myself to limit my errors and to evolve my paradigms. The tools I need to start my own youtube channel are being shipped actively. You have been an anchor in my confidence of self expression, and the butterfly effect of your actions will lead to my butterfly effect of actions. After a few years of effort, there's a good chance in my understanding that'll you'll either know my channel, or have them recommended from the youtube algorithm. I appreciate you.
Be glad you found this at a young age. It will help you for the rest of your life. Good luck on that RUclips Channel from a fellow RUclipsr.
Thank u so much for showing us ,its ok to distance urself from any thing that stop u growing up in personal level ❤
Lol, shout out hermit mode... those crabs knew what's up.
Wow, this is spot on with what I'm going through! Excited for the rest of the series. Thanks Wenzes.
I still would like to be loved. Except I won’t find ever that. I’m the only one who can give me what I need.
This is great Wenzes, I’ve entered hermit mode this year and I’m ok with that but it’s kinda comforting to know it’s not just me. 😊
Love this video Wenzes! I’ve wrote about this realization months ago. Still giving myself grace for showing up as true self at all times. Definitely nerve wracking but I’m paying the cost for it no matter what. Shout out to the rest of the infjs on this journey ⚡️
Loving it !
10 yrs hermit mode 😂😂🤷 I'm ALIVE 😂😂🫶✨
Thanks for creating this such amazing channel! ❤️
Wenzes ❤️
A bem da verdade, as vezes, não é possível se afastar de pessoas tóxicas por muitos motivos, mas com conhecimento podemos gerenciar isso.
I have found I have to touch a random human at least once a month. So I got to fast food parlors and allow my hand to be touched by the cashier. That is the most human contact I get for the last 5 years or so. It lets me feel real.
Such a great topic! I'm excited and ready to do this series with you all. I just got back into researching infj after a few years because there's this strong nudge in me to create even stronger boundaries, stand firm in who I am and stop wasting my precious energy in depleting ways. It's like I have to take it to the next level because I transitioned to the next level. the tides of change is here ❤
15:15 section.
Do they *like* us??? I am not so sure. In my experience, it has always been an unhealthy relationship when I am "trying" to be liked.
This hairstyle looks good on you😊
I think I'm just in the start of my hermit phase. I had a somewhat wide group of friends but was always bending to their needs and wants then life took a major downturn just over a year ago. Since then I kind of had to go into survival mode and now have lost all of that group of friends including a toxic relationship with an ex. Now I feel it could have all been meant to as I work to come to grips with my true feelings and emotions trying to put my life back together and emerge a true version of myself. This is so helpful, thank you and happy holidays❣️
This video really helps me❤👏👏 Thank you!
I’ve been through multiple entire casts of people in my lifetime. Each time I started over from scratch. It wasn’t until I was 42 and dedicated to choosing better that a whole new type of people started coming into my life. It’s been a hell of a journey but I never regret becoming more. I’ve never lived anywhere longer than 2.5 years and I have moved 40+ times in 30 years. 😂 and I’m planning another move soon 🥂the Gloria Steinem quote about the world being quietly taken over ~saved~by grey haired women one day… 🙌🏻 infj women specifically ❤
This shirt is super cute 😊, it makes you look like a bad ass assain 😎😎
Good luck
You look soo pretty!! And love your advice!💯💯✨✨✨✨
I'm glad these things are understood now, and folks can understand the way others react to them and the fact that they seem to see things differently than the rest of the world at an early age, but wow, how great it would have been to understand forty or forty five years ago. Much more, if my dad had known. Maybe I would not have been treated like something broken that needed fixed. It's all good, though. Better late than never.
Good.
I can't thank you enough for how much I needed to hear this. Thank you Wenzes. Fellow infj this side.
I was in the Donner Party.
Am just perpetually grateful for this light bulb you have put in my path to guide me through what has been life s lonesome highway of alienation. Thank you,
I Got so much out of this video. Thank you! ❤
Maybe practicing hermit mode since childhood was enough as a 24 years old INFJ male.😂😅
This is so exciting
Thankyou. I will enjoy this series.
I never knew i was infj untill my 12 year old ran her tests on me. Wow. I sure am!
Thanks Coach! 🫡🖤
I love this video.
So much. 💙
Love from 🇧🇷
Pops been callin me hermit for 40yrs
15:41 🎉🎉🎉❤❤❤
It's a tremendous challenge for me right now not to lose myself under a micro managing boss. How to assert myself without risk of getting fired...? Or is the risk not as big as I think...only my fear of abandonment talking?
Can this be called a Sigma-transition?
I totally wanna hear the next points of the series because today's one was super important and wise and it shown what I am going through now.
All facts