You know, the fact that you can hold attention for a long period of time and speak so fluid without using a script and a bunch of cuts and edits is very impressive.
When I (a Chinese guy) studied in Beijing, my Swedish and German friends (both are exchange students) asked me one day, "why are Chinese girls so straightforward". I said, "Oh, they are never straightforward to me".
But yeah, does not surprise me at all, either. This is not just a China thing, though. It's most (and I don't really like to use that expression but it's the best way I know to deliver it) non-1st world countries, like when going to South America countries. Then you have the case of Asia countries, too... Aside from SK and Japan (they also have it, but the obsession with getting a western guy comes from a different perspective), the same way it is for some Eastern European countries. I've experienced it myself and friends. It was not that difficult to understand why.
My wife is from china. We have been married 13 years and have two beautiful daughters. My wife is the 3rd child, with two older sisters. Her father worked for the government and was given a fine with his second child and with my wife's birth, his retirement was slashed. I am grateful that when I asked him if he regretted having my wife's birth, he said he would do it again despite those consequences and that children are a blessing. Obviously I always have the utmost respect for him due to this. My wife's family are awesome and good people.
@Death2Life312. You got blue eyes big man? If so, and you're white, you're in luck. Just these features make you eligible to 90% of chinese women. Go over one day, and you'll find a keeper.
As a white American athlete, my dating experiences with Chinese women were very consistent. Looking back, I didn't enjoy it because of cultural differences. They were very "bossy" and demanding and my personality just doesn't click with that well. It's weird, because in the bedroom they were very excited and things went well, but everything outside of it just felt forced and a struggle, and this experience repeated itself with every girl; they seem to place a higher value on material things than I do. Eventually I just gave up because it was obvious our cultural differences couldn't be overcome. Granted, this is small sample size but it left a bad impression that I have no interest in repeating.
My wife never seemed that into material things. She was very thrifty. But she has a standard in her mind for housing and it drives her insane every day.
My experiences exactly, I almost would not recommend dating mainland Chinese women for foreign men or at least not get into a serious relationship, not a great idea at all.
gotta date a country girl, city girls everywhere are like that. If someone comes from a rich place, they'll prolly have rich standards. My girlfriend is Chinese and she's empathetic, supportive, and pretty earthy-crunchy. Of course she wants material things from time to time, who doesn't, but I think it's really a city vs country thing.
My experience was also just terrible. They don't give up anything for their partners, but they expect their partners to throw away everything for themselves. Most of them are just too selfish, uncaring, and damn jealous. Ugh, man, I hate this jealousy stuff. They're the most jealous people, but if you're jealous, they hit you with this "it's the modern world" crap, saying "you shouldn't be like this," but it only applies to you, not to themselves. They seem to have a concept of honor, but actually, they're the most dishonorable people I've ever seen. Man, I loved this girl, but she just messed me up mentally. It's better to really get to know each other first; otherwise, you're going to be the one who gets hurt.
why not, relationships and dating are an important part of culture. I think one understands the chinese culture better if one knows some facts on their mating rituals. Me a straight male with absolutly no interest in dating chinese girls watched it aswell, just because china is fascinating, terryfiing and so sad from a western perspective.
If relationships depends on how much money you can throw away in dates and gifts, I think it's safe to say you're going through a rip off rather than being in a real relationship.
@@ghsense2626Simply don’t buy your girlfriend anything expensive in the first 3 months (show her love and affection without expensive gifts), and all the materialistic girls will dump you in the first month leaving you with the real deal. Most importantly pray to God to help you find the right person for you.
I "dated" a Chinese woman who was about 4 years older than me. She was literally the hottest woman I've ever been with. After about a month of messing around it turned out she was married to a cop and had a son. I've never felt like a bigger piece of shit. She acted completely nonchalant about the whole thing. She just wanted to keep having her affair. I regret the whole thing.
Dude I picked up a Japanese woman in London, I was there for a month and she stayed with me most days and over night every night, i flew back to Australia in love & then a few months later flew to Tokyo to spend another month with her, again we spend every day and night together. Upon returning to Aus I received a call from her husband, a Russian Gangster who told me if I visited Japan again Id be killed. I had absolutely no idea she was married.
@@happy_man_x yeah man, also he somehow got my email address and sent an email with an attached photo of my parents house (where I lived at the time) to confirm he knew where I lived. What I couldnt understand was how she could spend so much time with me whilst still actually being married to some other man. Oh well fortunately nothing bad came of it, except I was played like a fool
Yeah, I met a Chinese girl during my study abroad in the UK and she told me her parents "forced" her to play piano, ping pong, read when she was 3. They also didn't allow her to watch television her whole childhood but she told me that she never made any friends either. Those activities aren't a bad thing, but it's the pressure put on an innocent child so young that gets to me. Depressing to think about.
I wish I had that pressure. 30 years and haven't achieved anything. Everything I want to do nobody wants done by someone my age. Can't get an internship, have no work history, have no prospects. I laugh whenever someone complains about tiger parents forcing them to be decent people.
@@satouhikou1103 23 year old with parents who asked nothing from me, am math teacher now, doing decent. Sometimes you gotta make the decisions yourself.
Can I just say the one business relationship I had with a Chinese woman, she gave me a bunch of vegetables. She knew I was vegan and wanted me to try different veggies. Nicest client ever
tbh i never take food from other people, why would you gift food to anyone? sure u can recommend smth and i buy it myself, but i dont trust people who gift food to others.
@@HansgameFood is easy to gift since everyone eats, imo. If you know their taste and tendencies, you have a good idea of what to get. As an Asian American, I've gifted food to non-Asian households and majority of people are thankful and enjoy what I brought them because I picked out stuff that they would like. Only when I bring stuff someone has never tried do they get cautious. 😂
That thing with the gifts is 200% accurate. One girl I dated went so far as to ask for the certificate of authenticity. That's some bullshit right there.
@Octobers Lazy Own My family is from the Caribbean, so I know what you mean. I'm working out of the APAC region now though. To be fair, not all the girls are like this. It's just that for the one's that are, they really take it to the extreme.
The older I get the more I see you should be picky. Same religion, same political views, agreeable disposition, personalities that compliment each other, etc.
Having lived in China, I think the follow up to this video should deal with family relationships, i.e. if things get serious, the whole family gets involved, and I mean EVERYONE...
that's definitely a good follow-up. Afterall in China and some other Asian countries too, You don't just marry the girl/boy, you marry their family too.
Haha, sure glad I watched this one. I've been married to my Chinese (Dalian) wife now for 19 years, and I STILL managed to learn something from you. You hit the nail on the head about 'gifts". I was always puzzled why she could be so sweet about many things, but such an ingrate about receiving a gift. Your observations and explanations are spot on. So, after a few bent feelings, I decided to just giver her the stuffed red envelope, and that solved everything.
As an American that has spent 54 years in Asia since arriving in Saigon in 1967 as a G.I. on a one year tour and then honorably discharged. I was really impressed with the beautiful women of Saigon and promised myself I would come back and some how a life much like my hero of that time Hugh Heffner. After the army I did one year in the U.S. as a hippy with a job, had a lot of fun and as it was then sex, drugs and rock and roll, I had a fun year but I also worked on a assembly line making cars and saving money to finance my main dream of getting back to Asia. The war in Vietnam was still going on so I bought a one way ticket to Bangkok and a backpack to find out more about Asia and how I could fit in. That year had me all over Thailand, Laos and Cambodia learning that unless I had a skill or a college degree things were going to be hard but I did also learn to speak Thai and even attended a university there for one semester. I also learn something special, I was not restricted as to a lifestyle that I may have been born into. Meaning that as a American, even though my mother was a waitress and my father worked as a switchman I had the right to attend a university and in my case my GI bill paid for part of it. I went back to America and enrolled in my State University met a 100 Thais there working on their PhDs. got my degree working part time (no help from my parents or a loan) and 4 months later I got my first job back in Vietnam 1973. This time along I got an apartment, hired a maid and got back to playing a young Hugh Heffner for a year. Everything worked out prefect, many playmates but the only woman that stayed more than one night was the maid. End of the one year contract and I got a real break learning a company in Bangkok was hiring for a oilfield construction project in New Guinea. Working 4 weeks in the jungle and 2 weeks off in Bangkok for 3 years, I learned a lot about oilfield construction and the ladies of Bangkok. Again the same life style, rented a house hired a maid and at best made friends with a few of the working girls but never a girlfriend and again a hassle free lifestyle. and actually saving a lot of money. Keeping Bangkok as a home base I went on to work in Libya, Bahrain, Saudi Arabia, Qatar, Sumatra, Borneo, Brunei and Thailand. Now what did I learn about Asian women, I wanted a very uncomplicated life and most of the men that I worked with that married Asian women really did not have half the fun I did since they were always embroiled in one drama after another mostly about money and the Asian wife's family. In the mean time I was coming and going as I pleased and spent all my money on myself. I notice that most of my friends had wife in most cases were not very attractive (to put it politely), they were doing things that they would have never dreamed of doing in America like allow the Asian wife to move in her family into their home, spend most of their money on their Asian wife and her family and then put up with screaming and arguing. All of this happening as one beauty queen after another was spending the night with me and thinking they were lucky to get $10 for their time (that was back in the 70's). To be honest I never kept count of the women and in many cases would meet some of these women later and had no memory of ever having spent the night with them. Was I every worried that I did not have a loving relationship with any of the woman? NO I didn't, all I had to do was go to the house of one of my friends that was married to bring me back to any reality. What I did learn was I was actually a high value man to the Asian woman, not only was I wealthy after working 5 years, I also had a university degree and that was the big attraction to all the Asian office girls working for the big companies in Bangkok. I first as usual I really did not pay much attention to these girls since I knew most were from upper middleclass families and I knew they would not be looking for the one night stand. Later as I got curious about some of these office girls I noticed that many were breathing beautiful and they were really interested in me. I was also curious why there were so many of them and all single? It turned out that they were single because they would not marry a man below them. They had spent years working to get a degree and they were not interested in getting married to a man just because he was nice, hard working, he had to have a university degree or at least came from a well to do family. While the Asian man with a University Degree had no such standards, a good pair of legs and breasts were all that were required. As a results there were literally thousands of college educated women in Asia that are single and would never get a husband or have any children, surprisingly many virgins to the day they die. I did date a few of the girls after I was in my late 40"s and when I did I always invited the girl and her friends on the date (at least I knew how many I was going to pay for) the reason I did this was in Asia when a Asian woman is seen with a foreign man it is usually assumed my the local people that the girl is a working girl with many friends this problem never comes up. After a few dates like that I notice the friends started dropping off until it was only the girl I was interested in. However, I never went any further than taking them to dinner and taking them home. As for me paying for the friends, at least in Thailand when you ask someone to go to dinner or any activity that will cost money you pay. if they ask you they pay. Also what I learned was there are two different Thai women, I will call one a native Thai, her family always lived in Thailand and then there is the Chinese Thai women, the Chinese Thai you will normally never see as a working girl. Second the Chinese Thai girl when she marries she becomes a member of the husbands family and her duty is to her husband and his family. At native Thai woman's duty is to her family to the point that if it comes to a life or death situation you will die before anyone in her family dies, she will always put her parents family ahead of even her husband and children in many cases. I finally married at 51, naturally to a Chinese Thai, she not only had a university degree she was a licensed pharmacist. She was relieved when I told her that her only responsibility was to me and our children since my mother had Social Security. My wife went on to get a Master Degree from an American University and even practiced pharmacy in America for 5 years. After our son was born we realized that America was not heading in the directions we had hopped and decided to return to Thailand where we bought a home and my wife joined a large private hospital where her American degree and experience was apricated and now 14 years later she is a department director that pays very well, our now 16 year old son is in a private school here in Thailand getting an education that was not available in the U.S.A. In addition I did apply and receive my Social Security, how every I already had a substantial savings from my 45 years working for oil companies that allowed my family a lifestyle that would be the envy of my friends in America. I still like building things and now working with an architect on the design of a new home we plan to start next year.. I may do a little travel but to be honest I have already traveled the world back when I was working getting back and fourth between my jobs and my homes. Thought about seeing a 24 hour La Mans race and maybe a fly fishing trip to Alaska or New Zealand. Have not been back to the U.S.A. in 14 years and from what I have been seeing on You Tube have no desire to do so either.
Great life experience. I spent 10 years in China and I had a similar experience. I did not know that a Thai girl will put her family ahead of her husband but it does not surprise me. But no matter which country youre in you need to be selective with women. I saw too many guys both Chinese and Westerner being taken for a ride by girls in China. The worst were Chinese guys that would repeatedly spend money on girls that they had zero chance of ever getting. These women used them. But then many of them were building a safety net incase they ever fell on hard times financially. Chinese men are mostly useless and clueless puppets and the clever women extract whatever they want from them. I suspect its no different with Thais.
@@syntaxerror8955 nah bro just as soon as she pulls up with her friends , bail out...you're going on a date with her not a job interview-dinner type of thing.
These are by far the most unbiased videos, not only about china, but out of RUclips and I’d even go as far as saying any means of media. Keep up the good work. Never go to either ends of opinion and spread hatred in this world. Objectivity is rare in modern society. - Supporter as a chinese south African that just moved to shanghai to study.
@@TerribleBear695 he also has a clear bias against leftist people and ideology as he’s demonstrated clearly in many videos when addressing ccp policy and Chinese class structure. He’s also stated he’s against communism and socialism Im pretty sure.
Very interesting. My wife wasn't like that at all. She wanted to save money and was very modest. Didn't expect me to order lots of expensive dishes etc. We also went out one on one when we first started dating. Also I bucked the trend and only found one Chinese girl. We are still married 11 years on :)
The gift giving part is so true. This not only happen in China but also other Asian countries. My dad is Asian and my mom is white. He’s always been blunt about gifts he doesn’t like, and asked if there’s a receipt to return or exchange. He’s does it out of good intent to save us money, but my mom gets mad at him for that.😂
It's the custom of showing gratitude. Like if someone in China is allowing you to stay at their house or invite you for dinner- you bring a gift to show your appreciation.
Respect. Nothing is worse than being given something you never wanted in the first place, or when she buys something related to your interests without really doing any research, then being expected to use said thing all the time. Especially when the gift is an item of clothing that is ugly or uncomfortable. It makes sense to me just to return it. Saves money and a lot of irritation. Gifts aren't supposed to be a chore. Wish our society would normalize this.
Can i ask, are you still considered exotic if your a foreigner, but still asian? Like Korean and Japanese are they exotic or its too similar to Chinese. Then is Indian or Malaysian considered exotic (since they are darker skin and generally have wider eyes)? So is exotic only for caucasian? And how about black people?
Japanese and Korean have higher tier than black. I suppose it's because Japanese and Korean are considered well educated. Chinese tends to respect those with good education.
I dated a chinese young woman about 26 years old when I was like 29. She and I got busy about 10 minutes into meeting the first time. That was a record for me. She later wanted to pay me 25k for marriage and I declined. She had a distinctive smell to her in that certain place, not horrendous just a bit unique. She had some fabulous skills if you know what I mean. After I got married for real she still pursued me with notes in the mailbox and a few phone calls. After like 3 rejections post marriage she finally left me alone.
I really like watching your videos man, you seem like an extremely nice person. I’m glad you try to help people find a relationship that will last like yours. Keep it up with the videos, and NEVER change your attitude or personality because it SO great to see someone in the world that actually cares about other people more than just themselves.
You are so easy to watch and listen to. You demeanor is magnetic. Thank you for opening what is otherwise a challenging country to candidly learn about. Stay awesome always and cheers from California!
11:40 That literally happened to me in the mountains of Vietnam, these tribal people have actual smartphones but take pictures of me as if I'm some sort of mythical creature.
Don't misunderstand, they just don't really see foreigners and are fascinated with you. They take pictures to show their friends and family saying "I saw a foreigner today". I know it's weird but please don't hate them for it
My wife is Chinese I met her on QQ,married for 7 years,our son is 7 years old.we have had our ups and downs,I did not have much money when we met.our marriage is not perfect we have communication problems sometimes.but I love my wife very much and would not change it for anything else. I always come home to her I dont drink or smoke not a party animal.she is not a gold digger,I do give her my salary every month she saves the money as we want to get an apartment in th e future. she really knows all my moods,what bands I like,the other day she bought a rolling stones t.shirt for herself,very cool.
Adil Alfa for Chinese women, beta men represents stability and responsibility for the whole family, they are the most important character that husbands should have, especially for women who are come from developing countries, unlike women who come from developed countries, they would never worry about the tough reality that one day they will easily lose materialistically decent and comfortable lifestyle if their husbands are asshole, the state will always support women and the social welfare system will help them out of bad situation, so they are more willing to spend more time playing games with men and pop up from cock to cock, until they can find the so called “ alpha male or alpha asshole” . Alpha men do exist in China, but 99 percent of them from elite family, and their mating strategy is always be the top women who always come from elite family so called alpha female
It’s very lovely that you and you wife can keep long term loyal relationship even you can not communicate with each other, life must full of challenges and you overcome them, how do you make it going?
I lived in Ningbo from 97-98. I taught English and had a great time. My biggest mistake was my laziness when it came to learning the language and was a barrier for myself. I dated several girls and I was surprised when they would give me a gift it would always be an expensive name brand item like sunglasses, clothes, or a watch. Back then restaurants were very cheap when I did dine out, but not very often. My salary was small and so were my expenses. When I left, new highways were being built with very few cars. Most people were riding on bikes and motorcycles and used public transportation. I'd be afraid to see the changes today.
Here is Aussie we also had sex education in early high school & in true Aussie tradition they showed us a video of a couple of kangaroos "going for it" - can't get more Aussie than that!
Winston, I could tell you countless stories about my 9 years in Hong Kong, so many that we'd need two days and many beers to get it all out on the table. Everything you said is true. One thing I learned fairly quick was that I wouldn't want to be a 'white guy' in Hong Kong. It would take you many days, even weeks, to figure out the woman's true motives and character. At least as a darker-skinned individual you know where you stand. Indians, Africans, Filipinos, Indonesians, Thais are looked down upon and treated accordingly. But if you have a US or British passport, and are white, or a teacher, then you get a lot more consideration. I was indeed fortunate to have found my Chinese relationship which lasted 9 years. Another fantastic video.
Hong Kong women are certainly a different style of Chinese woman. Many HK guys opt for a mainland or a Taiwan girl because the expectations to own your own home, have a car and well paid job to be considered as BF/Husband material is considerably less
It is very easy if you have a certain "look" . I have a blue/green eyed male Swedish friend who told me that a Asian or Hispanic (can't remember) female offered him money to sleep with her and make her pregnant and he wouldn't have to help her raise it because she just wanted her baby to have colored eyes. 1. He already had an Asian girlfriend. 2. He wasn't about to fall for that "you don't have to worry about raising it" okey doke. 🤣😂
Even if he impregnated her Most likely the Asian woman would give birth to a brown eyed baby because Asians usually don't carry the recessive gene for light eyes. There is a greater chance of a white and African American couple reproducing a child with light eyes because of mixing that occurred during slavery. As a result most African Americans carry the recessive gene for light eyes like Steph Curry, Vanessa Williams, Tyra Banks, Michael Ealy, Nicole Murphy, ect
And the "Asian" or Hispanic had a bullshit theory anyway since blue eyes are recessive, so unless she had genes for blue eyes somewhere in here family, her kids together with a blue-eyed dad would cause brown eyes in her kids.
Same here in India....if you are relatively fair skinned then dating becomes very helpful...I'm not even talking European white...kinda how Southern European tan does the trick too...
@Arnav Bhagwat Eye color matters not skin color. I live in USA and I have a male African American friend who gets all the pretty girls because he has blue eyes
I dated and eventually married a Korean girl (I'm from New Zealand). The whole food sharing thing was difficult at first but I soon got used to it and now enjoy the variety.
Having been to China and marrying a mainlander everything that Winston says is fact. Chinese women are a different breed compared to western women. In some ways good, in others not so good. The goods: 1.) They age astonishingly well compared to western women. They’re also more fit due to a better diet. 2.) They take relationships far more seriously compared to western women. 3.) They’re very blunt. While this can suck at times, you’re never left wondering. The bads: 1.) $$$. You will quickly figure out that money is the highest of priorities for Chinese women. If you ever doubt the existence of Hypergamy, a Chinese gal will cure you of that. 2.) See above. 3.) Family dynamics. If you marry a Chinese gal, you’re effectively marrying her parents too. This can be good or bad. Thankfully I get along very well with my in-laws so it isn’t an issue. But be warned, if you move her here, the parents will eventually follow.
@@travisss15 or go for ethic chinese women rather than mainland chinese, they typically more loose with the family dynamic. While still having the majority of positives.
@Ultima MIc the PP stereotype, regarding asians is somewhat for the majority true tbh, like most asians are shorter than white and black people. So our proportions are smaller as well.
This is extremely interesting and accurate, but I just want add a perspective from a female foreigner who lived in China. I’ve been told I’m beautiful and have blonde hair, blue eyes, slim athletic build, etc (I feel weird saying that but there’s a point). It was difficult to date for me and other very pretty expat women I knew compared to other places I had lived (like the Middle East or here at home). I was in Shanghai and expat guys typically looked for a Chinese girl/woman. I did have some one night stands and a few short relationships with ethnically Chinese men who grew up in the States or Canada and a Korean guy. And this was over the course of 5 years, and I had some long dry spells. I remember going to the doctor for a female issue and the doctor asked me the last time I had sex, and I said something like 8 months and he very unprofessionally gasped and practically shouted, “8 months?!? You haven’t had sex in 8 months?” Lol. Just something to note for any women looking to work and live in China. You will not get the same amount of romantic attention as men do (but you will still get random people asking to take a photo with you at tourist sites or even just on the street!). Anyway, love your videos W and how you so eloquently and bravely speak out on important subjects going on in China.
OMG, I just wrote thIs on the comments. How frustrating it was to be an expat in Asia. I felt completely ignored. And I had the same situation at the gynecologist... she looked at me like if I was lying😂😂
@@mckenzieriley7861 ha ha…one gyno got unusually excited about how gross/bad my yeast infection had gotten (I was traveling alone on vacation and couldn’t get medication even with my knowledge of Mandarin or with the help of the female staff at the hotel. Then it took 2 days to change my flight back to Shanghai bc China). Anyway, by that point it was awful, but the doctor took a swab and said, “OMG I’ve never seen one so bad…just look at it!” Then shoved the swab up close to my face, like I really wanted to see the gunk causing me ungodly itching and pain. He was beside himself laughing and in awe of this fantastically gross specimen. So, yeah, docs in China, esp for women’s issues, are quite blunt. That incident just made me laugh bc he seemed so innocent…like a kid on Xmas morning. Other docs just come across as dicks. Wish we’d known each other…could have gone out for hot pot and beers! Cheers!
After dating Japanese women over the years I always found it interesting that western guys are kind of insecure to know if they really like you or not. Western women are usually very affectionate but asian girls not so much so as a guy you always question weather they are really into you or not. What I learned is that if they are still around, they like you. No need to say or make a thing about it
Chinese people love to eat. Not just some Panda Express style trash, not just some lame steak and lobster dinner, but the real delicates Chinese food. Not only the dating, but business partnerships also take place in restaurants.
The bit Winston goes on about having the girl order food that was crazy expensive, I had a very similar experience. I had only been in China a couple weeks and a girl asked me out on a date. This was in Xiamen, Fujian province back in early 2000's. Went to a nicer seafood restaurant and because I didn't read Chinese at that time suggested she order. Now, I don't remember the mandarin name of this dish but it translated to something like 'Buddha jumps over the wall'. The story of this name is that Buddha or a monk was walking past a wall and the smell of this dish cooking on the other side drove his appetite mad so he jumped the wall to get some. The ingredients of this dish is basically every crazy expensive seafood animal you can think of made into a stew/soup. Sea cucumber, shark fin, abalone, etc, etc. Tasted terrible. Price tag was crazy. Think cafe in a Hermes or Fendi store price tag. Needless to say, the date with this girl didn't go very smoothly after I got the bill. Her not asking if something that extravagant was OK to order was what perturbed me.
As a Caucasian male married to a Taiwanese female for 53 years (4 kids and 8 grandkids later), I can attest to the cultural issues that must be surmounted if such a relationship will be successful. Maturity on both sides is important. Just my experience but I think it is generally worth the listen.
I live in New Zealand, and have been living with my Chinese girl friend for 2 years now. She's been here for 10 years, has very good English, and has become a lot more westernized. However, If i mention anything bad about china, she gets super butt hurt. I tried to show her this video, and she sat on the couch arms crossed, getting angrier and angrier. Now I was born in NZ, but i know it is far from perfect, I always mention things that could be improved, or issues with the country. It just really triggers me how blind Chinese people are to whats happening in their own country. No country/system is perfect, but acknowledging what is wrong without getting irrationally emotional is a start.
Yeah but what kind of bad TBH like I think we chinese are fine talking politics and stuff but the way you say it we acknowledge that not all systems are perfect but there are many comments especially in apps such as Instagram and RUclips that hurts us and say dis appropriate things when they could've said it nicer that hurts us. When you talk politics better you mention positive things about china and also negative but like explain what you don't like, disagree with and still be respectful. Some chinese people are rlly tired already listening and reading to stereotyped comments of us and that evey time we express our ideas. This is what we get. Brainwashed by CCP. Die you made COVID. Wumao. Dumb chinese main Lander if we debate let's do it civilized manners and what we disagree or agree with because sometimes even I have no choice being chinese it's not like I get to pick my ethnicity but bc of other people fault they blame me and sometimes I'm really tired
Not so much in big cities like Shanghai, You would find more independent women who hate relying on men for everything. That depends also on individual upbringing. Some families spoil their kids or teach them bad habits resulting in self-entitled childish grown-ups.
True. I have a neighbor who grew up in China and just moved in my country cuz she married someone from here. Anyway, she does not know how to cook, do laundry (even her own underwear) and take care of her daughter. All of those she let the maid do, including raising her child. When the maid went home for 1 week, her and her child would literally fight for food. Like, her daughter would cry cuz she's hungry. When her parents visit, she becomes worse. How do I know all of these? From their maid 😂😂
I am married to a chinese woman who was raised and lived most of her life in Beijing. It is true that for our first date she expected me to meet her at a restaurant. But she did not expect me to pay and did not order lots of food. She knew that I was not rich and did not try to make me feel that I should pay. She is a very loving woman who tries hard to make my life better. Of course, she expects me to do what needs to be done in the house as far as maintenance and repair, doing the garbage duty etc., and she expects gifts at her birthdays, on Valentine day and on new years, but she is very loving and is very good at cooking chinese food and make the house a warm place for us. Whenever we go out at a restaurant with her brother and sister-in-law, it is a fight when it comes to paying for the meal, he always insists on paying. She says it is the Chinese tradition to make a show at wanting to pay but one should play with it and insist back on paying. It becomes a mental tug of war and my wife tells me I should insist more and actually pay sometimes but let him win sometimes. That way, face is saved for both of us. At first I was always glad to let him pay but I found out that he expected me to make a fuss and was surprised to win so easily at first. So instead of actually saying : lets both pay each our way, we end up getting to the same end but in a round-about way. For the rest it is hard for me to relate because my wife had been a journalist who had travelled all over the world and we were both over 50 when we met.
It's amazing for me to hear this type of stories and games people play (with the bill) After you know the person, and he is related to you, why not just speak up and say, can we cut the crap and split the bill? I find that when you talk to people like that, and explain that we are not in China any more. There's no need to play games here most people adopt. I live in a western country with a wife from the Philippines. I taught her and continue teaching her to adopt to our life here. For example shyness, it doesn't work here, so you have to slowly get rid of it. If I move tomorrow to China, I would obviously have to adopt to their lifestyle. I expect the same when others move to my place.
Tooloose lowtreck U are the first guy hold the natural view that I see in the comments. The view like materialistic money worship conservative that the other foreigners holds to chinese women, are only because they can only meet or attract Chinese women like that when they first come into china. That Chinese girls are not well educated and proud of have a foreign boyfriend. Talk about the bill culture, as a 90s generation, we share the bill with the guys that we first meet or hard to meet twice, and take turns to pay the bill when we are friends.
@@joaocaldeira8333 I'm broke at the moment and my girl is super supportive and doesn't is cutting back on all expenses, sure not the typical Chinese chick and she encourages me to earn more work hard but that's a good thing I guess. The three chicks I dated long time didn't care for rich guy but the 18-22 year olds certainly do
I used to work with a Filipino guy and he said he stopped visiting there years ago. I was puzzled. He said if you come there the whole family and their friends follow you like a pack and you're expected to pay for everything. This guy was a Registered Nurse (as was his wife) and not a CEO or hedge fund manager.
I dated two Chinese guys, when I’m on the way to meet them they asked do u mind if I invite some of my friends? And on first date there were 11of his friends and on second date there were three . So the second guy said when u eat food there should be noice and excitement that’s why he invented friends. But I personally don’t like it.
I grew up in Michigan and now live in Utah. About eight years ago, I went back to visit, and went on a date with a Taiwanese med student from my Church. She was about four years older than me, and gladly paid for both of our meals even though I had invited her. The day before I left, she called me to wish me a safe and happy flight. Either I had an exceptional woman, or Taiwanese culture has diverged significantly from the mainland in terms of dating expectations.
I'm under the impression that Taiwanese don't have that conniving mistrust that Mainlanders developed from generations of Communist rule, though they also (at least to me) seem more fanciful and naïve by comparison. Churchgoing Asians tend to be even more deviant, as being outgoing and open to strangers is how the religion survives and grows especially in foreign environments.
A German American friend of mine got caught in a sticky situation. Long story short a girl in China he met said she was going to commit suicide if he didn't marry her. Few years later they're now married and living in the US. Not too sure he's happy.
Only visited 7 times. Had a traditional mainland girl. All the Points are stop on! At first I thought she was crazy or heartless but quickly found out.. that’s just how they are. Especially the gift thing Mann.... imagine spending a lot of money for a gift and really plan a nice surprise, these girls will often just say “ I don’t like it “ it can make any man sink a bit. My tip would be to go after girls who have or is studying abroad. Some have family trouble but many I met has been very much against the traditional way of China. The best chinese girls are the ones who are in between Chinese and western in my opinion.
The generation these days are lazy gold diggers who will end up screaming at their husbands over trivial matters. The joke with my male colleagues at an esl school is "did we marry the same woman" ?
When I met my chinese girlfriend's friends the first thing they asked was "how much do you earn?" And were bragging about how rich they boyfriend was. Now my girlfriend (my wife now) is an example who is very down to earth and don't care so much. She even complained to her friends how stupid question it was and if they were a golddigger or something. It was hilarious and will never forget it.
@@MartinShushu you're lucky. One of the reason why I'm still single is because I'm the oldest child in my family. My family depends on me so I can't just pack and leave them. i also DO NOT want to burden my future bf/hubby because i know the kind of person my mother is. Even though i wont bully my bf/hubby my mother wants to because she feels its the structure and her right. She was never happy with marrying my father because he was poor and throughout my childhood she whine how she married him because she was exceeding a certain age. Marrying chinese girls are not easy. i made the choice of ensuring I don't give this burden to someone else. Now that I'm pass the age of 35 I feel my mother is randomly pushing guys my way. I have told her off. I have always told other people why i chose to stay single for so long. My mother never gave me a chance to live my life.
yuqing2006 hehe don’t take losers on the internet too seriously, people aren’t very good judges of themselves or the reality around them. Especially bitter losers who can’t ever catch a break, instead of self improvement or pushing themselves harder they focus on everyone else’s shortcomings. Really just better to avoid people like that in general.
That was a very insightful and accurate description of Dating in Asia. You articulate your experiences very well. I first saw you in a Video about the Housing crisis in China. It interested me how you get your information. So I decided to watch more of your videos. You can't imagine my surprise when I heard your story. How closely it resembles my own experience. Except of course how you ended up there and how I ended up there are quite different. The more I have heard of your experiences the more I am stunned how similar it is to my own. Not only similar experiences, but I also hold similar values as you do. With expat friends the same as you describe with your expat friends. Mine is not a success story though. It still weighs heavy on me many of the things that I experienced. I did spend quite some time in China and was also Engaged to a Chinese woman. But whilst I was back in Australia preparing for the Wedding she informed me she married a guy in Singapore. But the experience I am talking about acutally happened to me in Vietnam. I ended up in Vientam under strange circumstances and was robbed and left for dead. But I was determined not to let it defeat me. For almost a yeaar I had no idea where I was, no money, no computers, iPhones or technology. I had no money to get any. I had no grasp of the language and no one where I was could speak English. I will make it short. After almost a year a guy came to my little concrete room and asked me to teach Engliish at his school. He heard about what happened. I ended up staying for 5 years in Vientam. Through many trials and errors. I have found VIetnam now to be a second if not a first home for me. My story with Vietnam started in 2008 and continues to this day.
Dude, I’m hooked on your videos. You seem very objective, well spoken, educated and honest. I’m going to continue to watch, but from someone who watches a lot of videos yours are great.
A window into China without all the political nonsense. Good content Serp, you are a stellar vlogger whose modesty is refreshing to listen to. You always are the good reporter who tells the facts as you see them.
I love how honest you were about your experiences.. Like the gifts thing.. That's gotta hurt! I personally am a very appreciative person and couldn't ever imagine rejecting a gift from someone or saying I didn't like it, Unless they purposely made it very horrible!
really annoyed me when my girlfriend ordered like 4 dishes, eat like 1\4 of it and then said "ok, i'm full". I dont even want to write about the argument that then went down, because i told her that in think it's a waste of food and money. From her point of view it seemed that i dont love her or i'm cheep, because i dont want to waste money and food.
@Wes Takahashi I've dated both a Chinese guy and a Japanese guy in my 30yrs of life. I have to honest, the Japanese guy, his friends, family I met, cultural etiquette and even something such as humour. Was much much more relatable (I'd dare say more than Western men even). The Chinese guy, was very err, what's the right word here. Demanding, and kind of disrespectful often. Not necessarily to me, but something I noticed often, especially when amongst his friends, being gay, mostly women and they were even worse. I'd have to say Japanese Men are some of the best men in the world. For their manner, humour, etiquette, politeness and forward communication yet not overt blunt to point of sort of shocking. As you say too, the wasteful culture was not at all as prominent. Like yourself, my ex partner had alot of respect for being sensible with money and resources. Which is something I very much respected about him, as a similar situation from my own past. The Chinese guy found it very odd I 'worked the land' in a slightly negative way, as a Forager of wild food and Medicine of which is my job, Herbalist and Botanical research, not not the most conventional 'land work'. My Japanese partner was very keen to learn alot about it . Of the two, I would say there was a much greater exchange of culture and language and life experiences, along with his friends and family too vs the Chinese guy. If ever I dated either again, knowing as I do these days. Without doubt I would much prefer, and feel far mroe comfortable in a relationship with a Japanese man.
You nailed it. Foreigners/westerners are exotic look to Asians, purely different appearance to us. It’s the same goes with women in Taiwan. I was one of them, married an American, we just celebrated our 50th anniversary living in Florida. There were moments, we butted head each other simply from different culture instill in us. 😂
Back in the day, I had a gf from a traditional Chinese family. She was also 2 or 3 years older than me. We had to break-up and one reason was, her parents only *want* her to date (and eventually marry) someone who is also Chinese. Though we were together *(discreetly)* for not a very long time, I still remember her. That was the only time I've ever had such a relationship.
how ridiculous. my ex mainland gf had no values at all...thats why we had to break up, sex was utterly mindblowing, but after a while i realised she has no values at all inside, no limits to what she will do to gratify her negative emotions. Very animalistic really, hence the wild sex, felt sorry for my neighbour, a single muslim woman 🤣🤣🤣
While living in NYC for nearly 20 years, every chinese girl (student or corporate) I knew were obsessed with one aspect of 'dating' me and it wasnt my personality LOL. And all talked about marriage and kids after hooking up, it was insane (0 - 60). The most ironic fact I found was all of their parents worked in the government and had the cash to buy them real estate in NYC and fund their crazy way of life.
It didn't even work, it's hilarious. The CCP ended up chokeholding the reproduction of the educated in the cities while they couldn't control the ancient human family philosophy of "more kids, more chance of living descendants" that prevailed in the out of reach countryside.
@jester26uk apparently it's "ending". I just moved back to the mainland for complicated reasons, so I don't know too much about it. But in 2018 it was apparently "ending" or whatever.
Good evening Winston. My husband brought up an interesting question. As you explained the facts of dating from a males perspective, he was quite taken aback by some if the situations you described. Then he said "If that happens to the guys, I wonder what happens to business women that come there." He is a compassionate man and is truly concerned and even troubled by what their experience would be. Maybe another video answering this is in order. We have always loved and respected you and your work. Blessings of health, safety, happiness and breathable air to you and yours. Steven and Janice Washington state USA
Ah Winston, you do such a nice job with your videos. I'm enjoying my time teaching on the mainland in Nanjing. I watched a lot of your stuff prior to moving here. Love your insightful commentary. Stay Awesome my friend.
I don't know if you remember having dinner with my Fiancé Gavin Cannon in China a few years back but he spoke very fondly of you and we've been obsessed with Chinese videos on RUclips again so he sent me to your RUclips. Thanks for sharing the knowledge and talking honestly and openly.
My experience dating a main land Chinese woman for over two years, was very similar. They expect you to know many customs, they will treat you well, but they will act like they are your mother.
I've learned more about Chinese culture and customs from this guy than I ever have the news or school 👍🏾 Thanks mang for helping me understand how literally 1/7th of the world operates
Most of the Chinese girls that Westerners meet aren't the traditional ones. How i know is the high STD hit rate. It is extremely low for conservative ladies.
No, the traditional ones are even more pathetic - allowing their husbands to fuck around with hookers at least three times a week just because they provide the money for their LAZY wives!
I went out with a mainland china girl about 15 years ago. I respected her culture and we took it slow. The first night we agreed to get naked and have some 'fun' was a disaster. Everything was going great until I 'went down'. Oh no, cant be doing that. It put a massive dampner on the rest of our relationship. She thought I was a pervert. Our relationship never recovered. I was sad because, I was wrapped up in this girl and would have married her at the drop of a hat
you sound like a pervert to be honest. If i was a chinese girl i wouldn't want you near me lol . just kidding. i'd just say ： いや、結構です。要らないから、大丈夫です。さよなら、変態さん！＾＿＿＾
@@MissPurpur No they have great hygiene and overall healthy bodies but they just haven't been exposed to that. Especially 15 years ago. Now it's much different, and you just got to do it right one time then they get hooked of course
They have never thought about what they want. They are taught to try and be successful. Nobody in their right mind would choose money/success over true love. It's just that they don't believe in love or a good natural relationship.
Hey Winston You're awesome despite all the negative backlash I keep seeing popping up about you and Laowan86... Much respect in your ability to live abroad because most can't do it, when it comes to people like us. I'm a mix bag of ethnicities and a cultural blend because I was born in the Caribbean Island of Trinidad and Tobago and moving to Southern California at age 12. I now live in Đà Nẵng Việt Nam after deciding to retire at 40 from the corporate world of pharmaceutical marketing and prior to that I served in the United States military, then earned a degree in Social Psychology after getting out of the service, before moving to Đà Nẵng. The weirdest thing is after hearing so much negative stereotypes and accusations about Vietnamese people plus Asian women don't date men of African decent much. Well here I am in Việt Nam where I've pretty much become a icon in my neighborhood and have dated and have been in relationships with some very beautiful Vietnamese women plus I've been ask to take pictures, invited to numerous dinners by Vietnamese local, got introduce people's daughters, sisters and friends who are single and looking, plus I even got married at one point to a local Vietnamese woman which didn't work out but yeah as a foreigner we have a serious advantage of local guys, i was even told so by a local Vietnamese buddy of mine who said that as a foreigner all I have to do is show and get the girls and a local guy will have to bend over backwards and more an probably still won't get the girl. My current Vietnamese girlfriend tells me I'm a hotboy to the Vietnamese women with fit body and handsome smile Lol, hahaha, ohhh and on the part of the Vietnamese men I have a firm belief that some have made passes at me in a handshakes by circling their finger I my inner palm along with a very close uncomfortable hug to the point where I had to tell some men that in America men do not walk or sit that close together Lol, hahaha. I also had told this to my girlfriend she laughs and said both men and women like you.
Vietnamese food is very tasty. I've been there a few times. I even had a young girl, my age that we shared a few special days together. If you look in the history of Vietnam, it's a very strong nation. Strong in spirit and in mind. I'm not aware of any mind blowing scientists, writers or Nobel prize winners who came from there, the people themselves like I said are strong minded. I can't say they were super nice to me asba foreigner, I felt many times I was overcharged and scammed but in general the experience was positive. The food, the history and the nature there is great.
1 day I'll suprise my parents with a passport, they told me a lie about getting them which I believed for 7 years, I had to be explained by a teacher that it's bull Mum, dad, I'm going to Vietnam Tâm biết, tôi yêu người tiếng Việt
I live in Thailand and run a resort so I meet people from all over the world. Would never date a mainland Chinese, most of them seem horrible. Taiwanese girls seem really nice. Japanese and Koreans are great as well. Thai are alright if you make sure to find a good one (stay the hell away from the naughty bars).
You know, the fact that you can hold attention for a long period of time and speak so fluid without using a script and a bunch of cuts and edits is very impressive.
Yep. So true.
I appreciate you noticing that, I will keep making videos as long as you keep watching them
Lindybeige is also very impressive. It takes a lot of skill to deliver a topic this way.
he is a teacher. all teacher have that power
@@steven_003 lindybeige is a self-important wanker, who talks a lot of crap about things he has no idea of, but thinks he does
When I (a Chinese guy) studied in Beijing, my Swedish and German friends (both are exchange students) asked me one day, "why are Chinese girls so straightforward". I said, "Oh, they are never straightforward to me".
Is it because they only want white men?
But the question is how can you use RUclips ? Are you using vpn?
@@arushi8046 He used past tense. Perhaps he's not there anymore.
But yeah, does not surprise me at all, either. This is not just a China thing, though. It's most (and I don't really like to use that expression but it's the best way I know to deliver it) non-1st world countries, like when going to South America countries. Then you have the case of Asia countries, too... Aside from SK and Japan (they also have it, but the obsession with getting a western guy comes from a different perspective), the same way it is for some Eastern European countries. I've experienced it myself and friends. It was not that difficult to understand why.
Dude me too. Wanna share stories? I'm a Chinese as well.
My wife is from china. We have been married 13 years and have two beautiful daughters. My wife is the 3rd child, with two older sisters. Her father worked for the government and was given a fine with his second child and with my wife's birth, his retirement was slashed. I am grateful that when I asked him if he regretted having my wife's birth, he said he would do it again despite those consequences and that children are a blessing. Obviously I always have the utmost respect for him due to this. My wife's family are awesome and good people.
He probably was privileged enough to not be punished more severely for that.
idk why but this brought tears to my eyes .... haven't cried or w/e but then again its been 7 yrs since my last real cry... idk why
@@noop9k not necessarily. In China everything is possible with a fine or bribe. It’s not like North Korea
Educated parents are far more different than.those who arent no matter where they are from
@Death2Life312. You got blue eyes big man? If so, and you're white, you're in luck. Just these features make you eligible to 90% of chinese women. Go over one day, and you'll find a keeper.
As a white American athlete, my dating experiences with Chinese women were very consistent. Looking back, I didn't enjoy it because of cultural differences. They were very "bossy" and demanding and my personality just doesn't click with that well. It's weird, because in the bedroom they were very excited and things went well, but everything outside of it just felt forced and a struggle, and this experience repeated itself with every girl; they seem to place a higher value on material things than I do.
Eventually I just gave up because it was obvious our cultural differences couldn't be overcome. Granted, this is small sample size but it left a bad impression that I have no interest in repeating.
My wife never seemed that into material things. She was very thrifty. But she has a standard in her mind for housing and it drives her insane every day.
I had the same experience. Exactly
My experiences exactly, I almost would not recommend dating mainland Chinese women for foreign men or at least not get into a serious relationship, not a great idea at all.
gotta date a country girl, city girls everywhere are like that. If someone comes from a rich place, they'll prolly have rich standards. My girlfriend is Chinese and she's empathetic, supportive, and pretty earthy-crunchy. Of course she wants material things from time to time, who doesn't, but I think it's really a city vs country thing.
My experience was also just terrible. They don't give up anything for their partners, but they expect their partners to throw away everything for themselves. Most of them are just too selfish, uncaring, and damn jealous. Ugh, man, I hate this jealousy stuff. They're the most jealous people, but if you're jealous, they hit you with this "it's the modern world" crap, saying "you shouldn't be like this," but it only applies to you, not to themselves. They seem to have a concept of honor, but actually, they're the most dishonorable people I've ever seen. Man, I loved this girl, but she just messed me up mentally. It's better to really get to know each other first; otherwise, you're going to be the one who gets hurt.
Me, a straight woman: let's watch a video about dating women from far away china 😂
why not, relationships and dating are an important part of culture. I think one understands the chinese culture better if one knows some facts on their mating rituals.
Me a straight male with absolutly no interest in dating chinese girls watched it aswell, just because china is fascinating, terryfiing and so sad from a western perspective.
and adding to that serpentza is just a great presenter
It's crazy Val, find myself watching things I thought I'd have no interest in,.. Then end up loving it..
Always watch the competitors XD
Interesting I guess. No matter what you are.
If relationships depends on how much money you can throw away in dates and gifts, I think it's safe to say you're going through a rip off rather than being in a real relationship.
Damn, what do I do from preventing that
Dear friend. I expect you have a far wider audience if you sober up and find a true paryner/companion. At least for 5 or 20 years.
RUclipsrs are ambitious. You have potential.
@@ghsense2626Simply don’t buy your girlfriend anything expensive in the first 3 months (show her love and affection without expensive gifts), and all the materialistic girls will dump you in the first month leaving you with the real deal. Most importantly pray to God to help you find the right person for you.
@@ghsense2626 don't chase girls, lol
I "dated" a Chinese woman who was about 4 years older than me. She was literally the hottest woman I've ever been with. After about a month of messing around it turned out she was married to a cop and had a son. I've never felt like a bigger piece of shit. She acted completely nonchalant about the whole thing. She just wanted to keep having her affair. I regret the whole thing.
Hot!!
That's shitty. She cheated on you both.
Dude I picked up a Japanese woman in London, I was there for a month and she stayed with me most days and over night every night, i flew back to Australia in love & then a few months later flew to Tokyo to spend another month with her, again we spend every day and night together. Upon returning to Aus I received a call from her husband, a Russian Gangster who told me if I visited Japan again Id be killed. I had absolutely no idea she was married.
@@jacksalami9945 really??
@@happy_man_x yeah man, also he somehow got my email address and sent an email with an attached photo of my parents house (where I lived at the time) to confirm he knew where I lived. What I couldnt understand was how she could spend so much time with me whilst still actually being married to some other man. Oh well fortunately nothing bad came of it, except I was played like a fool
This is just 20 minutes of 100% bro talk, i love it
Hi
Stupid talk. Why is he talking about China and not about his country??
@@buckethead133 did you get +10 social credit for commenting this shit ? 😂
@@Lepardine you just got -10 social credit score lol
the level of frogs in this thread is too damn high!
Yeah, I met a Chinese girl during my study abroad in the UK and she told me her parents "forced" her to play piano, ping pong, read when she was 3. They also didn't allow her to watch television her whole childhood but she told me that she never made any friends either. Those activities aren't a bad thing, but it's the pressure put on an innocent child so young that gets to me. Depressing to think about.
Tiger parents
I wish I had that pressure. 30 years and haven't achieved anything. Everything I want to do nobody wants done by someone my age. Can't get an internship, have no work history, have no prospects. I laugh whenever someone complains about tiger parents forcing them to be decent people.
@@satouhikou1103 23 year old with parents who asked nothing from me, am math teacher now, doing decent. Sometimes you gotta make the decisions yourself.
@@CounterStrikeLover10 Tried that. Ended up worse than living as a NEET. People need to be taught to live.
@@satouhikou1103 i feel you. i try to learn things that interest me as an adult but it gets harder the older i get.
Can I just say the one business relationship I had with a Chinese woman, she gave me a bunch of vegetables. She knew I was vegan and wanted me to try different veggies. Nicest client ever
tbh i never take food from other people, why would you gift food to anyone? sure u can recommend smth and i buy it myself, but i dont trust people who gift food to others.
@@Hansgame some people just like being nice
@@HansgameFood is easy to gift since everyone eats, imo. If you know their taste and tendencies, you have a good idea of what to get. As an Asian American, I've gifted food to non-Asian households and majority of people are thankful and enjoy what I brought them because I picked out stuff that they would like. Only when I bring stuff someone has never tried do they get cautious. 😂
That thing with the gifts is 200% accurate. One girl I dated went so far as to ask for the certificate of authenticity. That's some bullshit right there.
@Octobers Lazy Own My family is from the Caribbean, so I know what you mean. I'm working out of the APAC region now though.
To be fair, not all the girls are like this. It's just that for the one's that are, they really take it to the extreme.
@george I'm sorry. You seem to be more familiar with that subject than I am.
Lol
To be fair- Chinese market is filled with 99% counterfeit goods...
Stupid video. I dated a Chinese girl and she was the best ever gf I had.
Interesting points. Don't date or marry someone who doesn't share your values, world view, and religious beliefs. It will only end badly for you.
Learned that one the hard way, I agree.
@@ZealousWins I agree much easier when a male female has the same values as you etc and shared the same mindset
The older I get the more I see you should be picky. Same religion, same political views, agreeable disposition, personalities that compliment each other, etc.
In the 90s, a Republican would have a healthy relationship with a Democrat...crazy times.
I don't agree I was a completely different party religion and color from my husband we've been together 25 years and we barely fight
Having lived in China, I think the follow up to this video should deal with family relationships, i.e. if things get serious, the whole family gets involved, and I mean EVERYONE...
Ummm what
我要1girl, 不她的家人
Ok correct my mandarin
hahaha
that's definitely a good follow-up. Afterall in China and some other Asian countries too, You don't just marry the girl/boy, you marry their family too.
Sneak 1 我爱一个女人，而不是她的家人
Think that’s what you’re trying to say.
“I love a woman , but not her family”
@@juraii80 correct
Haha, sure glad I watched this one. I've been married to my Chinese (Dalian) wife now for 19 years, and I STILL managed to learn something from you. You hit the nail on the head about 'gifts". I was always puzzled why she could be so sweet about many things, but such an ingrate about receiving a gift. Your observations and explanations are spot on. So, after a few bent feelings, I decided to just giver her the stuffed red envelope, and that solved everything.
As an American that has spent 54 years in Asia since arriving in Saigon in 1967 as a G.I. on a one year tour and then honorably discharged. I was really impressed with the beautiful women of Saigon and promised myself I would come back and some how a life much like my hero of that time Hugh Heffner.
After the army I did one year in the U.S. as a hippy with a job, had a lot of fun and as it was then sex, drugs and rock and roll, I had a fun year but I also worked on a assembly line making cars and saving money to finance my main dream of getting back to Asia. The war in Vietnam was still going on so I bought a one way ticket to Bangkok and a backpack to find out more about Asia and how I could fit in. That year had me all over Thailand, Laos and Cambodia learning that unless I had a skill or a college degree things were going to be hard but I did also learn to speak Thai and even attended a university there for one semester. I also learn something special, I was not restricted as to a lifestyle that I may have been born into. Meaning that as a American, even though my mother was a waitress and my father worked as a switchman I had the right to attend a university and in my case my GI bill paid for part of it. I went back to America and enrolled in my State University met a 100 Thais there working on their PhDs. got my degree working part time (no help from my parents or a loan) and 4 months later I got my first job back in Vietnam 1973. This time along I got an apartment, hired a maid and got back to playing a young Hugh Heffner for a year. Everything worked out prefect, many playmates but the only woman that stayed more than one night was the maid. End of the one year contract and I got a real break learning a company in Bangkok was hiring for a oilfield construction project in New Guinea. Working 4 weeks in the jungle and 2 weeks off in Bangkok for 3 years, I learned a lot about oilfield construction and the ladies of Bangkok. Again the same life style, rented a house hired a maid and at best made friends with a few of the working girls but never a girlfriend and again a hassle free lifestyle. and actually saving a lot of money. Keeping Bangkok as a home base I went on to work in Libya, Bahrain, Saudi Arabia, Qatar, Sumatra, Borneo, Brunei and Thailand.
Now what did I learn about Asian women, I wanted a very uncomplicated life and most of the men that I worked with that married Asian women really did not have half the fun I did since they were always embroiled in one drama after another mostly about money and the Asian wife's family. In the mean time I was coming and going as I pleased and spent all my money on myself. I notice that most of my friends had wife in most cases were not very attractive (to put it politely), they were doing things that they would have never dreamed of doing in America like allow the Asian wife to move in her family into their home, spend most of their money on their Asian wife and her family and then put up with screaming and arguing. All of this happening as one beauty queen after another was spending the night with me and thinking they were lucky to get $10 for their time (that was back in the 70's). To be honest I never kept count of the women and in many cases would meet some of these women later and had no memory of ever having spent the night with them. Was I every worried that I did not have a loving relationship with any of the woman? NO I didn't, all I had to do was go to the house of one of my friends that was married to bring me back to any reality.
What I did learn was I was actually a high value man to the Asian woman, not only was I wealthy after working 5 years, I also had a university degree and that was the big attraction to all the Asian office girls working for the big companies in Bangkok. I first as usual I really did not pay much attention to these girls since I knew most were from upper middleclass families and I knew they would not be looking for the one night stand. Later as I got curious about some of these office girls I noticed that many were breathing beautiful and they were really interested in me. I was also curious why there were so many of them and all single? It turned out that they were single because they would not marry a man below them. They had spent years working to get a degree and they were not interested in getting married to a man just because he was nice, hard working, he had to have a university degree or at least came from a well to do family. While the Asian man with a University Degree had no such standards, a good pair of legs and breasts were all that were required. As a results there were literally thousands of college educated women in Asia that are single and would never get a husband or have any children, surprisingly many virgins to the day they die. I did date a few of the girls after I was in my late 40"s and when I did I always invited the girl and her friends on the date (at least I knew how many I was going to pay for) the reason I did this was in Asia when a Asian woman is seen with a foreign man it is usually assumed my the local people that the girl is a working girl with many friends this problem never comes up. After a few dates like that I notice the friends started dropping off until it was only the girl I was interested in. However, I never went any further than taking them to dinner and taking them home. As for me paying for the friends, at least in Thailand when you ask someone to go to dinner or any activity that will cost money you pay. if they ask you they pay. Also what I learned was there are two different Thai women, I will call one a native Thai, her family always lived in Thailand and then there is the Chinese Thai women, the Chinese Thai you will normally never see as a working girl. Second the Chinese Thai girl when she marries she becomes a member of the husbands family and her duty is to her husband and his family. At native Thai woman's duty is to her family to the point that if it comes to a life or death situation you will die before anyone in her family dies, she will always put her parents family ahead of even her husband and children in many cases.
I finally married at 51, naturally to a Chinese Thai, she not only had a university degree she was a licensed pharmacist. She was relieved when I told her that her only responsibility was to me and our children since my mother had Social Security. My wife went on to get a Master Degree from an American University and even practiced pharmacy in America for 5 years. After our son was born we realized that America was not heading in the directions we had hopped and decided to return to Thailand where we bought a home and my wife joined a large private hospital where her American degree and experience was apricated and now 14 years later she is a department director that pays very well, our now 16 year old son is in a private school here in Thailand getting an education that was not available in the U.S.A. In addition I did apply and receive my Social Security, how every I already had a substantial savings from my 45 years working for oil companies that allowed my family a lifestyle that would be the envy of my friends in America. I still like building things and now working with an architect on the design of a new home we plan to start next year.. I may do a little travel but to be honest I have already traveled the world back when I was working getting back and fourth between my jobs and my homes. Thought about seeing a 24 hour La Mans race and maybe a fly fishing trip to Alaska or New Zealand. Have not been back to the U.S.A. in 14 years and from what I have been seeing on You Tube have no desire to do so either.
Great life story !
Enjoyed it
My wife is a thai Dr 15 years going strong
Great life experience. I spent 10 years in China and I had a similar experience. I did not know that a Thai girl will put her family ahead of her husband but it does not surprise me. But no matter which country youre in you need to be selective with women. I saw too many guys both Chinese and Westerner being taken for a ride by girls in China. The worst were Chinese guys that would repeatedly spend money on girls that they had zero chance of ever getting. These women used them. But then many of them were building a safety net incase they ever fell on hard times financially. Chinese men are mostly useless and clueless puppets and the clever women extract whatever they want from them. I suspect its no different with Thais.
If 6 people pull up and expect me to pay I'll walk right out the door
unless you want a sixsome
@Sean
one needed to make the video
Funny how English is always a problem when it comes to obeying laws and paying money
If you pay this time, you will need not pay next 6 times.
@@syntaxerror8955 nah bro just as soon as she pulls up with her friends , bail out...you're going on a date with her not a job interview-dinner type of thing.
These are by far the most unbiased videos, not only about china, but out of RUclips and I’d even go as far as saying any means of media. Keep up the good work. Never go to either ends of opinion and spread hatred in this world. Objectivity is rare in modern society. - Supporter as a chinese south African that just moved to shanghai to study.
To say that this guy's videos are unbiased you clearly didn't live in China, or maybe you did into an expat bubble.
@@alexisalexisss8895 are his videos biased?
@@TerribleBear695 could you explain how? I genuinely wanna know
@@TerribleBear695 he also has a clear bias against leftist people and ideology as he’s demonstrated clearly in many videos when addressing ccp policy and Chinese class structure. He’s also stated he’s against communism and socialism Im pretty sure.
@@alexisalexisss8895 He is 100 percent true about China. The CCP literally controls the whole country.
Very interesting. My wife wasn't like that at all. She wanted to save money and was very modest. Didn't expect me to order lots of expensive dishes etc. We also went out one on one when we first started dating. Also I bucked the trend and only found one Chinese girl. We are still married 11 years on :)
what a lovely story; thanks
Oh sure
This is the guy that you'd want to have beers with and tons of stories for hours.
Fr.
The gift giving part is so true. This not only happen in China but also other Asian countries. My dad is Asian and my mom is white. He’s always been blunt about gifts he doesn’t like, and asked if there’s a receipt to return or exchange. He’s does it out of good intent to save us money, but my mom gets mad at him for that.😂
It's the custom of showing gratitude. Like if someone in China is allowing you to stay at their house or invite you for dinner- you bring a gift to show your appreciation.
Respect. Nothing is worse than being given something you never wanted in the first place, or when she buys something related to your interests without really doing any research, then being expected to use said thing all the time. Especially when the gift is an item of clothing that is ugly or uncomfortable. It makes sense to me just to return it. Saves money and a lot of irritation. Gifts aren't supposed to be a chore. Wish our society would normalize this.
I know a lot of older white guys from more rural areas that do the same thing.
Man.... i lived in China for 10years and what Winston said is 110% true.
Can i ask, are you still considered exotic if your a foreigner, but still asian? Like Korean and Japanese are they exotic or its too similar to Chinese. Then is Indian or Malaysian considered exotic (since they are darker skin and generally have wider eyes)?
So is exotic only for caucasian? And how about black people?
@@qduck7696 嗯, you're still a laowai, welcome to the club😊
@@misc4u721 Thank you, Im a laowai, cant even speak Chinese or Cantonese. My favorite chinese food is steamed pork buns and honey chicken (no joke).
@@qduck7696 好的ヾ ^_^♪
@@misc4u721 nanana Na na Na naa :p
I don’t even understand REGULAR women much less CHINESE women
Hi Hank Hill, another Texan here. I agree
Lmao wtf is wrong with yalls
@Forsworn amen
Western women=regular women? There's more Chinese women, I would say they are more regular...
@@crazychainsawkid1 What even argument do you have to assume as much Sexy ???
In the west, you see one guy eating dinner with 5 girls you assume he is gay.
In China, you see that situation... first date bro?
Reduce that to four
In China, this can come off as increasing face
lmfao
Here in Germany, I would rather assume, that this guy is a lucky bastard, but not gay. Must be a great group "party" after dinner. :-D
That story about the chap from the UK really was a tearjerker ngl
I've been in China for over a decade and still learning new things from your videos; thank you!
winston: "foreigners are exotic in china"
me: **being asian born american** ಠ_ಠ
Not you ;)
@@serpentza Lol
Lol
It’s true, experiencing it now
@@ashleylaflor22 Americans don't get surprised when Asians speak english. Why does it get better reactions when its the other way around? Lol
I've been dating a Chinese lady for about 6 weeks now and what you say is on point. They can be very blunt but also very caring.
find a real woman
mostly blunt
@Lumikki555 heh I just came across my comment I made a few years ago. That relationship didn't last long and she had some major issues.
I wanted to ask. But now the question has already been answered. 😁
By foreigners he’s talking about white guys, everybody else is bottom tier
Eh, my black friends had a lot of curious women hovering around. Anyone who's been to a Chinese bathhouse can guess why.
Japanese and Korean have higher tier than black. I suppose it's because Japanese and Korean are considered well educated. Chinese tends to respect those with good education.
@@slz1119 How about let's not put entire races of people on "tiers".
@Shlomo PilpulStein Stop looking in the mirror
@Shlomo PilpulStein Proud of it.
I dated a chinese young woman about 26 years old when I was like 29. She and I got busy about 10 minutes into meeting the first time. That was a record for me. She later wanted to pay me 25k for marriage and I declined. She had a distinctive smell to her in that certain place, not horrendous just a bit unique. She had some fabulous skills if you know what I mean. After I got married for real she still pursued me with notes in the mailbox and a few phone calls. After like 3 rejections post marriage she finally left me alone.
That is a hilariously detailed story
White Fever
their smell is disgusting!! I know what you mean.
@@Igor-vk8fl is it related to their eating habits, such as garlic ?
I really like watching your videos man, you seem like an extremely nice person. I’m glad you try to help people find a relationship that will last like yours. Keep it up with the videos, and NEVER change your attitude or personality because it SO great to see someone in the world that actually cares about other people more than just themselves.
You are so easy to watch and listen to. You demeanor is magnetic. Thank you for opening what is otherwise a challenging country to candidly learn about. Stay awesome always and cheers from California!
11:40 That literally happened to me in the mountains of Vietnam, these tribal people have actual smartphones but take pictures of me as if I'm some sort of mythical creature.
oh lord hhahahh
Lol
Everyone is now not National Geographic models
Don't misunderstand, they just don't really see foreigners and are fascinated with you. They take pictures to show their friends and family saying "I saw a foreigner today". I know it's weird but please don't hate them for it
My wife is Chinese I met her on QQ,married for 7 years,our son is 7 years old.we have had our ups and downs,I did not have much money when we met.our marriage is not perfect we have communication problems sometimes.but I love my wife very much and would not change it for anything else.
I always come home to her I dont drink or smoke not a party animal.she is not a gold digger,I do give her my salary every month she saves the money as we want to get an apartment in th e future.
she really knows all my moods,what bands I like,the other day she bought a rolling stones t.shirt for herself,very cool.
Adil Alfa for Chinese women, beta men represents stability and responsibility for the whole family, they are the most important character that husbands should have, especially for women who are come from developing countries, unlike women who come from developed countries, they would never worry about the tough reality that one day they will easily lose materialistically decent and comfortable lifestyle if their husbands are asshole, the state will always support women and the social welfare system will help them out of bad situation, so they are more willing to spend more time playing games with men and pop up from cock to cock, until they can find the so called “ alpha male or alpha asshole” . Alpha men do exist in China, but 99 percent of them from elite family, and their mating strategy is always be the top women who always come from elite family so called alpha female
It’s very lovely that you and you wife can keep long term loyal relationship even you can not communicate with each other, life must full of challenges and you overcome them, how do you make it going?
Give all salary ? No way ! But if you both r happy with it OK ☺
@@ryolanda8393 Beta men are fun, they pay the bills, cook the dinner, clean the dishes...easier for the real men to come in to entertain "Her"
@张军 except he is not Chinese... My wife and i share different culture so we make compromises👌
I lived in Ningbo from 97-98. I taught English and had a great time. My biggest mistake was my laziness when it came to learning the language and was a barrier for myself. I dated several girls and I was surprised when they would give me a gift it would always be an expensive name brand item like sunglasses, clothes, or a watch. Back then restaurants were very cheap when I did dine out, but not very often. My salary was small and so were my expenses. When I left, new highways were being built with very few cars. Most people were riding on bikes and motorcycles and used public transportation. I'd be afraid to see the changes today.
Here is Aussie we also had sex education in early high school & in true Aussie tradition they showed us a video of a couple of kangaroos "going for it" - can't get more Aussie than that!
Bruh I’m from Australia where the fuk are you
My school taught sex ed in middle school
Winston, I could tell you countless stories about my 9 years in Hong Kong, so many that we'd need two days and many beers to get it all out on the table. Everything you said is true. One thing I learned fairly quick was that I wouldn't want to be a 'white guy' in Hong Kong. It would take you many days, even weeks, to figure out the woman's true motives and character. At least as a darker-skinned individual you know where you stand. Indians, Africans, Filipinos, Indonesians, Thais are looked down upon and treated accordingly. But if you have a US or British passport, and are white, or a teacher, then you get a lot more consideration. I was indeed fortunate to have found my Chinese relationship which lasted 9 years. Another fantastic video.
Hong Kong women are certainly a different style of Chinese woman. Many HK guys opt for a mainland or a Taiwan girl because the expectations to own your own home, have a car and well paid job to be considered as BF/Husband material is considerably less
@@alexlee83 Nailed it.
Make a video about it.
They are golddiggers basically.
I remember buying you a beer (online) back in the day.. stay awesome mate!
Thanks mate!
It is very easy if you have a certain "look" . I have a blue/green eyed male Swedish friend who told me that a Asian or Hispanic (can't remember) female offered him money to sleep with her and make her pregnant and he wouldn't have to help her raise it because she just wanted her baby to have colored eyes.
1. He already had an Asian girlfriend.
2. He wasn't about to fall for that "you don't have to worry about raising it" okey doke. 🤣😂
Even if he impregnated her Most likely the Asian woman would give birth to a brown eyed baby because Asians usually don't carry the recessive gene for light eyes. There is a greater chance of a white and African American couple reproducing a child with light eyes because of mixing that occurred during slavery. As a result most African Americans carry the recessive gene for light eyes like Steph Curry, Vanessa Williams, Tyra Banks, Michael Ealy, Nicole Murphy, ect
And the "Asian" or Hispanic had a bullshit theory anyway since blue eyes are recessive, so unless she had genes for blue eyes somewhere in here family, her kids together with a blue-eyed dad would cause brown eyes in her kids.
Same here in India....if you are relatively fair skinned then dating becomes very helpful...I'm not even talking European white...kinda how Southern European tan does the trick too...
She almost paid him get her laid
@Arnav Bhagwat
Eye color matters not skin color. I live in USA and I have a male African American friend who gets all the pretty girls because he has blue eyes
Followed your channel for a few years now Winston. As always, really great, honest content & needs to be heard. Fine work.
I dated and eventually married a Korean girl (I'm from New Zealand). The whole food sharing thing was difficult at first but I soon got used to it and now enjoy the variety.
Winston spilling the tea on dating behind the great firewall.
The great firewall 😝😝😝
it`s not that great
Having been to China and marrying a mainlander everything that Winston says is fact. Chinese women are a different breed compared to western women. In some ways good, in others not so good.
The goods:
1.) They age astonishingly well compared to western women. They’re also more fit due to a better diet.
2.) They take relationships far more seriously compared to western women.
3.) They’re very blunt. While this can suck at times, you’re never left wondering.
The bads:
1.) $$$. You will quickly figure out that money is the highest of priorities for Chinese women. If you ever doubt the existence of Hypergamy, a Chinese gal will cure you of that.
2.) See above.
3.) Family dynamics. If you marry a Chinese gal, you’re effectively marrying her parents too. This can be good or bad. Thankfully I get along very well with my in-laws so it isn’t an issue. But be warned, if you move her here, the parents will eventually follow.
Tip! Go after exchange students. As they often have best if both worlds. Chinese and western. Although many of these of family issues haha
@@travisss15 or go for ethic chinese women rather than mainland chinese, they typically more loose with the family dynamic. While still having the majority of positives.
@Ultima MIc the PP stereotype, regarding asians is somewhat for the majority true tbh, like most asians are shorter than white and black people. So our proportions are smaller as well.
Do Chinese girls like to hook up or do they mainly look for serious relationships only?
@@travisss15 And exchange students come from families with money.
Very useful information. Thanks
Miss are you a spy?
@Sir Loin No. Serpentza is right. Most of Chinese dating like what Serpentza speaked out.
@Sir Loin I find that really funny because when I was dating my now wife she paid all the time until I told her it was time for me to pay.
This is extremely interesting and accurate, but I just want add a perspective from a female foreigner who lived in China. I’ve been told I’m beautiful and have blonde hair, blue eyes, slim athletic build, etc (I feel weird saying that but there’s a point). It was difficult to date for me and other very pretty expat women I knew compared to other places I had lived (like the Middle East or here at home). I was in Shanghai and expat guys typically looked for a Chinese girl/woman. I did have some one night stands and a few short relationships with ethnically Chinese men who grew up in the States or Canada and a Korean guy. And this was over the course of 5 years, and I had some long dry spells. I remember going to the doctor for a female issue and the doctor asked me the last time I had sex, and I said something like 8 months and he very unprofessionally gasped and practically shouted, “8 months?!? You haven’t had sex in 8 months?” Lol. Just something to note for any women looking to work and live in China. You will not get the same amount of romantic attention as men do (but you will still get random people asking to take a photo with you at tourist sites or even just on the street!).
Anyway, love your videos W and how you so eloquently and bravely speak out on important subjects going on in China.
OMG, I just wrote thIs on the comments. How frustrating it was to be an expat in Asia. I felt completely ignored. And I had the same situation at the gynecologist... she looked at me like if I was lying😂😂
@@mckenzieriley7861 ha ha…one gyno got unusually excited about how gross/bad my yeast infection had gotten (I was traveling alone on vacation and couldn’t get medication even with my knowledge of Mandarin or with the help of the female staff at the hotel. Then it took 2 days to change my flight back to Shanghai bc China). Anyway, by that point it was awful, but the doctor took a swab and said, “OMG I’ve never seen one so bad…just look at it!” Then shoved the swab up close to my face, like I really wanted to see the gunk causing me ungodly itching and pain. He was beside himself laughing and in awe of this fantastically gross specimen. So, yeah, docs in China, esp for women’s issues, are quite blunt. That incident just made me laugh bc he seemed so innocent…like a kid on Xmas morning. Other docs just come across as dicks. Wish we’d known each other…could have gone out for hot pot and beers! Cheers!
@@jenl7094 😂😂😉
After dating Japanese women over the years I always found it interesting that western guys are kind of insecure to know if they really like you or not. Western women are usually very affectionate but asian girls not so much so as a guy you always question weather they are really into you or not. What I learned is that if they are still around, they like you. No need to say or make a thing about it
Japanese? I been with a Central Chinese woman she was more clingy than my former girlfriend who was Filipino descent
@@ErikPT Filipino girls are more decent than Chinese girls.
You look happier than you were in China Winston. I'm glad you got out.
But for how long? He doesnt have a US green card
@@MrBlackspoon Why would that matter? They let every brown person stay forever even without a green card. We welcome him with open arms.
@@osusauckes say that to the immigration office...
Y'all sound kinda hateful of brown people's opportunities.
@@osusauckes Its not that easy u sound dumb
Sounds like restaurants run the dating game in 🇨🇳
Chinese people love to eat. Not just some Panda Express style trash, not just some lame steak and lobster dinner, but the real delicates Chinese food. Not only the dating, but business partnerships also take place in restaurants.
The bit Winston goes on about having the girl order food that was crazy expensive, I had a very similar experience. I had only been in China a couple weeks and a girl asked me out on a date. This was in Xiamen, Fujian province back in early 2000's. Went to a nicer seafood restaurant and because I didn't read Chinese at that time suggested she order. Now, I don't remember the mandarin name of this dish but it translated to something like 'Buddha jumps over the wall'. The story of this name is that Buddha or a monk was walking past a wall and the smell of this dish cooking on the other side drove his appetite mad so he jumped the wall to get some. The ingredients of this dish is basically every crazy expensive seafood animal you can think of made into a stew/soup. Sea cucumber, shark fin, abalone, etc, etc. Tasted terrible. Price tag was crazy. Think cafe in a Hermes or Fendi store price tag. Needless to say, the date with this girl didn't go very smoothly after I got the bill. Her not asking if something that extravagant was OK to order was what perturbed me.
Buddha casserole
As a Caucasian male married to a Taiwanese female for 53 years (4 kids and 8 grandkids later), I can attest to the cultural issues that must be surmounted if such a relationship will be successful. Maturity on both sides is important. Just my experience but I think it is generally worth the listen.
What do you mean by caucasian are you from Kavkaz
another word for white
he means white guy..@@dvrkmvztxr9636
I live in New Zealand, and have been living with my Chinese girl friend for 2 years now. She's been here for 10 years, has very good English, and has become a lot more westernized. However, If i mention anything bad about china, she gets super butt hurt. I tried to show her this video, and she sat on the couch arms crossed, getting angrier and angrier. Now I was born in NZ, but i know it is far from perfect, I always mention things that could be improved, or issues with the country. It just really triggers me how blind Chinese people are to whats happening in their own country. No country/system is perfect, but acknowledging what is wrong without getting irrationally emotional is a start.
Nationalism, never bring politics with your Chinese girlfriend. Unless you are wed and she compromises
Sounds like time to find a new gf
Yeah but what kind of bad TBH like I think we chinese are fine talking politics and stuff but the way you say it we acknowledge that not all systems are perfect but there are many comments especially in apps such as Instagram and RUclips that hurts us and say dis appropriate things when they could've said it nicer that hurts us. When you talk politics better you mention positive things about china and also negative but like explain what you don't like, disagree with and still be respectful. Some chinese people are rlly tired already listening and reading to stereotyped comments of us and that evey time we express our ideas. This is what we get. Brainwashed by CCP. Die you made COVID. Wumao. Dumb chinese main Lander if we debate let's do it civilized manners and what we disagree or agree with because sometimes even I have no choice being chinese it's not like I get to pick my ethnicity but bc of other people fault they blame me and sometimes I'm really tired
@Marek Kac Nationalism = insecurity.
@Marek Kac 😂 you def sound insecure
Only Chinese farmers and villagers knows about reproduction from a young age.
Of coz, that's why their single motherhood are lower than yours.
Why do I have this feeling this will fly over many a head? 🙃
Not so much in big cities like Shanghai, You would find more independent women who hate relying on men for everything. That depends also on individual upbringing. Some families spoil their kids or teach them bad habits resulting in self-entitled childish grown-ups.
Yep. Specially parents who only have one child. Its like putting the entire family pressure just on one person. Poor kids :(
Cesar Torres I was in shanghai this year. This is true
Yes , a lot of entitled young people everywhere.
We call them snowflakes.
True. I have a neighbor who grew up in China and just moved in my country cuz she married someone from here. Anyway, she does not know how to cook, do laundry (even her own underwear) and take care of her daughter. All of those she let the maid do, including raising her child.
When the maid went home for 1 week, her and her child would literally fight for food. Like, her daughter would cry cuz she's hungry.
When her parents visit, she becomes worse. How do I know all of these? From their maid 😂😂
I am married to a chinese woman who was raised and lived most of her life in Beijing. It is true that for our first date she expected me to meet her at a restaurant. But she did not expect me to pay and did not order lots of food. She knew that I was not rich and did not try to make me feel that I should pay. She is a very loving woman who tries hard to make my life better. Of course, she expects me to do what needs to be done in the house as far as maintenance and repair, doing the garbage duty etc., and she expects gifts at her birthdays, on Valentine day and on new years, but she is very loving and is very good at cooking chinese food and make the house a warm place for us. Whenever we go out at a restaurant with her brother and sister-in-law, it is a fight when it comes to paying for the meal, he always insists on paying. She says it is the Chinese tradition to make a show at wanting to pay but one should play with it and insist back on paying. It becomes a mental tug of war and my wife tells me I should insist more and actually pay sometimes but let him win sometimes. That way, face is saved for both of us. At first I was always glad to let him pay but I found out that he expected me to make a fuss and was surprised to win so easily at first. So instead of actually saying : lets both pay each our way, we end up getting to the same end but in a round-about way. For the rest it is hard for me to relate because my wife had been a journalist who had travelled all over the world and we were both over 50 when we met.
It's amazing for me to hear this type of stories and games people play (with the bill)
After you know the person, and he is related to you, why not just speak up and say, can we cut the crap and split the bill?
I find that when you talk to people like that, and explain that we are not in China any more. There's no need to play games here most people adopt.
I live in a western country with a wife from the Philippines. I taught her and continue teaching her to adopt to our life here. For example shyness, it doesn't work here, so you have to slowly get rid of it. If I move tomorrow to China, I would obviously have to adopt to their lifestyle. I expect the same when others move to my place.
Sounds a lot like my Chinese Girlfriend. Asian women know how to treat a man, but there are psycho b*tches everywhere
Age matters too.
Tooloose lowtreck U are the first guy hold the natural view that I see in the comments. The view like materialistic money worship conservative that the other foreigners holds to chinese women, are only because they can only meet or attract Chinese women like that when they first come into china. That Chinese girls are not well educated and proud of have a foreign boyfriend. Talk about the bill culture, as a 90s generation, we share the bill with the guys that we first meet or hard to meet twice, and take turns to pay the bill when we are friends.
@@joaocaldeira8333 I'm broke at the moment and my girl is super supportive and doesn't is cutting back on all expenses, sure not the typical Chinese chick and she encourages me to earn more work hard but that's a good thing I guess. The three chicks I dated long time didn't care for rich guy but the 18-22 year olds certainly do
I used to work with a Filipino guy and he said he stopped visiting there years ago. I was puzzled. He said if you come there the whole family and their friends follow you like a pack and you're expected to pay for everything. This guy was a Registered Nurse (as was his wife) and not a CEO or hedge fund manager.
Im Filipino and I never tell anyone I know whenever I go back for the same reason.
Married to my Filipino wife 31 yrs now
I dated two Chinese guys, when I’m on the way to meet them they asked do u mind if I invite some of my friends? And on first date there were 11of his friends and on second date there were three . So the second guy said when u eat food there should be noice and excitement that’s why he invented friends. But I personally don’t like it.
You are a lady and expected to pay as well?
@@ahmedjinan6600 Equal rights bro
how do you known it's a lady?
I grew up in Michigan and now live in Utah. About eight years ago, I went back to visit, and went on a date with a Taiwanese med student from my Church. She was about four years older than me, and gladly paid for both of our meals even though I had invited her. The day before I left, she called me to wish me a safe and happy flight.
Either I had an exceptional woman, or Taiwanese culture has diverged significantly from the mainland in terms of dating expectations.
I'm under the impression that Taiwanese don't have that conniving mistrust that Mainlanders developed from generations of Communist rule, though they also (at least to me) seem more fanciful and naïve by comparison. Churchgoing Asians tend to be even more deviant, as being outgoing and open to strangers is how the religion survives and grows especially in foreign environments.
Yes, Taiwanese girls are much different than mainland China.
"don't go to china and order whatever you want in a restaurant"
sounds like a Mr. Beast challenge!
A German American friend of mine got caught in a sticky situation. Long story short a girl in China he met said she was going to commit suicide if he didn't marry her. Few years later they're now married and living in the US. Not too sure he's happy.
Your "friend" sounds like a spineless coward, living in a bed of his own making.
@@RuthlessandDisciplinedyes cant wipe his own arse
In China dating is an economic contract first, possible romance second😮
I just realized that I was unsubscribed to this channel... And I have been a subscriber for YEARS.
RUclips does that
Only visited 7 times. Had a traditional mainland girl. All the Points are stop on! At first I thought she was crazy or heartless but quickly found out.. that’s just how they are. Especially the gift thing Mann.... imagine spending a lot of money for a gift and really plan a nice surprise, these girls will often just say “ I don’t like it “ it can make any man sink a bit.
My tip would be to go after girls who have or is studying abroad. Some have family trouble but many I met has been very much against the traditional way of China. The best chinese girls are the ones who are in between Chinese and western in my opinion.
Oh and another great video. Thank you for the video man.
wow
Are you talking about the ones in the big cities?
@@unreal4good367 Define "big" cities.. Its china. My ex was from a city with 9 million people and it as considered countryside XD.
@@travisss15 I'm talking about Beijing, Shanghai, Shenzhen and Guangzhou.
The generation these days are lazy gold diggers who will end up screaming at their husbands over trivial matters. The joke with my male colleagues at an esl school is "did we marry the same woman" ?
Ultima MIc make way for the jackhammer everyone 😂😂. Lol if you are 22 or less you get pass on that cheesy comment
When I met my chinese girlfriend's friends the first thing they asked was "how much do you earn?" And were bragging about how rich they boyfriend was. Now my girlfriend (my wife now) is an example who is very down to earth and don't care so much. She even complained to her friends how stupid question it was and if they were a golddigger or something. It was hilarious and will never forget it.
lol
@@MartinShushu you're lucky. One of the reason why I'm still single is because I'm the oldest child in my family. My family depends on me so I can't just pack and leave them. i also DO NOT want to burden my future bf/hubby because i know the kind of person my mother is. Even though i wont bully my bf/hubby my mother wants to because she feels its the structure and her right.
She was never happy with marrying my father because he was poor and throughout my childhood she whine how she married him because she was exceeding a certain age. Marrying chinese girls are not easy. i made the choice of ensuring I don't give this burden to someone else.
Now that I'm pass the age of 35 I feel my mother is randomly pushing guys my way. I have told her off. I have always told other people why i chose to stay single for so long. My mother never gave me a chance to live my life.
yuqing2006 hehe don’t take losers on the internet too seriously, people aren’t very good judges of themselves or the reality around them. Especially bitter losers who can’t ever catch a break, instead of self improvement or pushing themselves harder they focus on everyone else’s shortcomings. Really just better to avoid people like that in general.
That was a very insightful and accurate description of Dating in Asia. You articulate your experiences very well. I first saw you in a Video about the Housing crisis in China. It interested me how you get your information. So I decided to watch more of your videos. You can't imagine my surprise when I heard your story. How closely it resembles my own experience. Except of course how you ended up there and how I ended up there are quite different. The more I have heard of your experiences the more I am stunned how similar it is to my own. Not only similar experiences, but I also hold similar values as you do. With expat friends the same as you describe with your expat friends. Mine is not a success story though. It still weighs heavy on me many of the things that I experienced. I did spend quite some time in China and was also Engaged to a Chinese woman. But whilst I was back in Australia preparing for the Wedding she informed me she married a guy in Singapore.
But the experience I am talking about acutally happened to me in Vietnam. I ended up in Vientam under strange circumstances and was robbed and left for dead. But I was determined not to let it defeat me. For almost a yeaar I had no idea where I was, no money, no computers, iPhones or technology. I had no money to get any. I had no grasp of the language and no one where I was could speak English. I will make it short. After almost a year a guy came to my little concrete room and asked me to teach Engliish at his school. He heard about what happened. I ended up staying for 5 years in Vientam. Through many trials and errors. I have found VIetnam now to be a second if not a first home for me.
My story with Vietnam started in 2008 and continues to this day.
Dude, I’m hooked on your videos. You seem very objective, well spoken, educated and honest. I’m going to continue to watch, but from someone who watches a lot of videos yours are great.
A window into China without all the political nonsense. Good content Serp, you are a stellar vlogger whose modesty is refreshing to listen to. You always are the good reporter who tells the facts as you see them.
I love how honest you were about your experiences.. Like the gifts thing.. That's gotta hurt! I personally am a very appreciative person and couldn't ever imagine rejecting a gift from someone or saying I didn't like it, Unless they purposely made it very horrible!
15:09 "Minimum three dishes..." My experience is it's more like 20 to 25 dishes.
really annoyed me when my girlfriend ordered like 4 dishes, eat like 1\4 of it and then said "ok, i'm full". I dont even want to write about the argument that then went down, because i told her that in think it's a waste of food and money. From her point of view it seemed that i dont love her or i'm cheep, because i dont want to waste money and food.
I was trying to be nice and conservative but yes, you're right
The amount of food they can eat and spend on food boggles my mind.
@Wes Takahashi I've dated both a Chinese guy and a Japanese guy in my 30yrs of life. I have to honest, the Japanese guy, his friends, family I met, cultural etiquette and even something such as humour. Was much much more relatable (I'd dare say more than Western men even). The Chinese guy, was very err, what's the right word here. Demanding, and kind of disrespectful often. Not necessarily to me, but something I noticed often, especially when amongst his friends, being gay, mostly women and they were even worse. I'd have to say Japanese Men are some of the best men in the world. For their manner, humour, etiquette, politeness and forward communication yet not overt blunt to point of sort of shocking. As you say too, the wasteful culture was not at all as prominent. Like yourself, my ex partner had alot of respect for being sensible with money and resources. Which is something I very much respected about him, as a similar situation from my own past. The Chinese guy found it very odd I 'worked the land' in a slightly negative way, as a Forager of wild food and Medicine of which is my job, Herbalist and Botanical research, not not the most conventional 'land work'. My Japanese partner was very keen to learn alot about it . Of the two, I would say there was a much greater exchange of culture and language and life experiences, along with his friends and family too vs the Chinese guy. If ever I dated either again, knowing as I do these days. Without doubt I would much prefer, and feel far mroe comfortable in a relationship with a Japanese man.
@@DreaMeRHoLic well she is just testing and manipulating you.
If she really cares than she would be realistic
You nailed it. Foreigners/westerners are exotic look to Asians, purely different appearance to us. It’s the same goes with women in Taiwan. I was one of them, married an American, we just celebrated our 50th anniversary living in Florida. There were moments, we butted head each other simply from different culture instill in us. 😂
Back in the day, I had a gf from a traditional Chinese family. She was also 2 or 3 years older than me. We had to break-up and one reason was, her parents only *want* her to date (and eventually marry) someone who is also Chinese. Though we were together *(discreetly)* for not a very long time, I still remember her. That was the only time I've ever had such a relationship.
There's no way in hell I'm paying for her friends shit you gotta be messed up winston
Totally agree! I just tell them no and see who's still interested.
Dating a mainland Chinese girl is like dating your grandmother. They have the same life values.
Hahaha lol good one! I believe that counts for most cultures
how ridiculous. my ex mainland gf had no values at all...thats why we had to break up, sex was utterly mindblowing, but after a while i realised she has no values at all inside, no limits to what she will do to gratify her negative emotions. Very animalistic really, hence the wild sex, felt sorry for my neighbour, a single muslim woman 🤣🤣🤣
At least the Chinese girl knows how to use the internet...
True, i had the experience in China that many relationships are businesses.
...
dude, I'm still getting used to seeing you with "long" hair, nice vid, thanks for sharing.
While living in NYC for nearly 20 years, every chinese girl (student or corporate) I knew were obsessed with one aspect of 'dating' me and it wasnt my personality LOL. And all talked about marriage and kids after hooking up, it was insane (0 - 60).
The most ironic fact I found was all of their parents worked in the government and had the cash to buy them real estate in NYC and fund their crazy way of life.
Curious what were they obsessed with?
@@steinbergen Ha... here is hint, wasnt my personality.
I love videos like this, honestly sharing the inner workings of another culture. Thanks.
The Chinese two child policy is not enough to stop the demographic crash coming to their country.
It didn't even work, it's hilarious. The CCP ended up chokeholding the reproduction of the educated in the cities while they couldn't control the ancient human family philosophy of "more kids, more chance of living descendants" that prevailed in the out of reach countryside.
@jester26uk apparently it's "ending". I just moved back to the mainland for complicated reasons, so I don't know too much about it. But in 2018 it was apparently "ending" or whatever.
Or the communism spreading in ours
Good evening Winston. My husband brought up an interesting question. As you explained the facts of dating from a males perspective, he was quite taken aback by some if the situations you described. Then he said "If that happens to the guys, I wonder what happens to business women that come there." He is a compassionate man and is truly concerned and even troubled by what their experience would be. Maybe another video answering this is in order. We have always loved and respected you and your work. Blessings of health, safety, happiness and breathable air to you and yours.
Steven and Janice
Washington state
USA
Hello, I’m from Washington too. You brought up a good point
Truly another side that needs to be explored, I will endeavor to do so
Ah Winston, you do such a nice job with your videos. I'm enjoying my time teaching on the mainland in Nanjing. I watched a lot of your stuff prior to moving here. Love your insightful commentary. Stay Awesome my friend.
I don't know if you remember having dinner with my Fiancé Gavin Cannon in China a few years back but he spoke very fondly of you and we've been obsessed with Chinese videos on RUclips again so he sent me to your RUclips.
Thanks for sharing the knowledge and talking honestly and openly.
A girlfriend. 10 past boyfriends. 10 previous abortions.
Ur talking about your wife huh?
@@yingqisheng6950 no, yours i guess as he said girlfriend
My experience dating a main land Chinese woman for over two years, was very similar.
They expect you to know many customs, they will treat you well, but they will act like they are your mother.
That’s the same for us Mexicans. Women from a Hispanic background she will mother you
@@ErikPT Latina's.. know very well.. Have you eaten? jaja
Winston was raised so well. Very well balanced.
R u Irish? (Ur name)
@@bnap3221 He's Shaquille O' Neil's cousin.
@@bnap3221 I am of Irish extraction, but don't live in Ireland.
I've learned more about Chinese culture and customs from this guy than I ever have the news or school 👍🏾 Thanks mang for helping me understand how literally 1/7th of the world operates
its actually 1/20th of the world the chinese make up,thats bad enuff,1/7th would be diabolical
When he said one night stands I thought I heard him say “one eye stands” LOL
I married a Taiwanese girl, 25 years ago. She made my life. It seems Chinese girls are quite different than Taiwanese girls.
Yes they are
Me watching this never planing to go to China.
Actually is great place to visit. Some stunning landscapes.
I'll stick to Europe good enough for me lol
@@Grandmaster-Kush well I been on every continent except Antarctic and I would say you missing out.
Most Americans can’t afford to go to China anyway.
AthenaCannon yeah China isn’t know for tourism anyway
Work so hard your whole life to go to a college where you don't even show up for class ahahahaha
Awesome mate good work
God knows why, but at 4:59 I truly thought he said ‘one-eyed Stans’ for a brief moment
Most of the Chinese girls that Westerners meet aren't the traditional ones. How i know is the high STD hit rate. It is extremely low for conservative ladies.
Even if they are 'conservative' it doesn't matter if their BF is going KTV and banging hookers on the side. STDs get around
No, the traditional ones are even more pathetic - allowing their husbands to fuck around with hookers at least three times a week just because they provide the money for their LAZY wives!
Smell dis Jeff!
The thing about $$$ its not just Chinese women, that's been my experience Winston. So glad to see you've been out of China now, good for you man.
I went out with a mainland china girl about 15 years ago. I respected her culture and we took it slow. The first night we agreed to get naked and have some 'fun' was a disaster. Everything was going great until I 'went down'. Oh no, cant be doing that. It put a massive dampner on the rest of our relationship. She thought I was a pervert. Our relationship never recovered.
I was sad because, I was wrapped up in this girl and would have married her at the drop of a hat
One word: starfish.
Wait what? She didn't want you to go down on her or she didn't have good hygiene?
@@MissPurpur she called him a 'pervert' so I'm assuming she didn't want him to go down on her.
you sound like a pervert to be honest. If i was a chinese girl i wouldn't want you near me lol . just kidding. i'd just say ： いや、結構です。要らないから、大丈夫です。さよなら、変態さん！＾＿＿＾
@@MissPurpur No they have great hygiene and overall healthy bodies but they just haven't been exposed to that. Especially 15 years ago. Now it's much different, and you just got to do it right one time then they get hooked of course
SUMMARY. THEY JUST WANT YOUR MONEY.
Make me wonder what kind of ppl he being hanging with... just saying
@@martinma9546 I know hahahaha
They have never thought about what they want. They are taught to try and be successful. Nobody in their right mind would choose money/success over true love. It's just that they don't believe in love or a good natural relationship.
he's right
If you have repeated negative experiences of a similar nature when dating, then the issue is you.
Dating Western men is a landmine too.
Hey Winston
You're awesome despite all the negative backlash I keep seeing popping up about you and Laowan86... Much respect in your ability to live abroad because most can't do it, when it comes to people like us.
I'm a mix bag of ethnicities and a cultural blend because I was born in the Caribbean Island of Trinidad and Tobago and moving to Southern California at age 12.
I now live in Đà Nẵng Việt Nam after deciding to retire at 40 from the corporate world of pharmaceutical marketing and prior to that I served in the United States military, then earned a degree in Social Psychology after getting out of the service, before moving to Đà Nẵng.
The weirdest thing is after hearing so much negative stereotypes and accusations about Vietnamese people plus Asian women don't date men of African decent much.
Well here I am in Việt Nam where I've pretty much become a icon in my neighborhood and have dated and have been in relationships with some very beautiful Vietnamese women plus I've been ask to take pictures, invited to numerous dinners by Vietnamese local, got introduce people's daughters, sisters and friends who are single and looking, plus I even got married at one point to a local Vietnamese woman which didn't work out but yeah as a foreigner we have a serious advantage of local guys, i was even told so by a local Vietnamese buddy of mine who said that as a foreigner all I have to do is show and get the girls and a local guy will have to bend over backwards and more an probably still won't get the girl. My current Vietnamese girlfriend tells me I'm a hotboy to the Vietnamese women with fit body and handsome smile Lol, hahaha, ohhh and on the part of the Vietnamese men I have a firm belief that some have made passes at me in a handshakes by circling their finger I my inner palm along with a very close uncomfortable hug to the point where I had to tell some men that in America men do not walk or sit that close together Lol, hahaha. I also had told this to my girlfriend she laughs and said both men and women like you.
Vietnamese food is very tasty. I've been there a few times. I even had a young girl, my age that we shared a few special days together.
If you look in the history of Vietnam, it's a very strong nation. Strong in spirit and in mind.
I'm not aware of any mind blowing scientists, writers or Nobel prize winners who came from there, the people themselves like I said are strong minded.
I can't say they were super nice to me asba foreigner, I felt many times I was overcharged and scammed but in general the experience was positive. The food, the history and the nature there is great.
1 day I'll suprise my parents with a passport, they told me a lie about getting them which I believed for 7 years, I had to be explained by a teacher that it's bull
Mum, dad, I'm going to Vietnam
Tâm biết, tôi yêu người tiếng Việt
Dating Chinese was FAR worse experience for me than USA. I went Filipina instead.
Thailand FTW... China interesting to visit.
I live in Thailand and run a resort so I meet people from all over the world. Would never date a mainland Chinese, most of them seem horrible. Taiwanese girls seem really nice. Japanese and Koreans are great as well. Thai are alright if you make sure to find a good one (stay the hell away from the naughty bars).
I was a Counsellor at a college in Ontario. Many of the Chinese girls got pregnant. They had no idea of birth control or sex.
14:42; “$1.00 for expired meat”. LMAO!
The juice is not worth the squeeze, doesn't matter what flavor. Thank you good sir for this public service announcement.