Great! Just allow your wife some time and understanding. Many couples break up because of these changes that are too much for the men sometimes. It will all be good. Or maybe you'll just be lucky and everything will go smoothly. Congratulations and best wishes!
That is beautiful to hear. We’ve all seen women not have the care and support they need even though they could not control what happens to them in this process. Please be there for her 💯🙏🏽
So glad you spoke on the psychosis... A friend of mine began to hear voices and experienced moments of random rage due to her sleep deprivation and its very sad to witness. I didn’t realize how common postpartum psychosis was. Moms need help!
Well done dear. It truly is not easy. In Nigeria (south eastern), the mom of the new mother and mother-in-law take turns to cater to the new mother at least for the first 6 months. At times you get other relatives rally round to help with cooking, cleaning and other chores. So the new mom just eats, sleeps and feeds her baby. Even baby care (bathing) is also done by the mom. They also guide you on latching and other things. For you to do all that alone, it can take a toll on you. I am glad you are better now.🌺🌸🌺🌸
Exactly, that's the problem in the West. I heard of similar practices in Asia. I told my mother she should move in with me when I give birth. It was hypothetical. I'm not pregnant 😅 But I wanted to know if she would be up for it. She said, "no way, I did on my own, so you have to do it on your own." Isn't that crazy?!
That was what used to be common even in the West a century ago and still does in places where extended families stay near each other. The nuclear family model is a disaster and creates isolation from knowing and learning from those who lived before you. I grew up close to extended family and knew five generations that I gained so much wisdom from and felt very loved and helped. Bring back that extension and it'll give people more peace of mind. One's child isn't just you or your spouse's child, it's also God's child and the child of the rest of the family.
Thank the Lord, my husband stayed home for a month with me and then my mom came to stay with us for the second month. Then we moved up and stayed with my mom for 2 months. Having 4 months of constant help made all the difference!
This was me. She's 11 months old now but I wish pple talked more about what it's really like. It's eye opening, shows u unhealed areas of ur childhood etc. But it also shows you how strong you really are
I’m 38 1/2 weeks pregnant and this was SO hard to hear… I wanted to click out because some of it is terrifying. However, I’d rather be more aware of these things so I can self monitor and ask for more help before things get too overwhelming. Thank you for discussing these topics ❤
Right here with you. I am 28 weeks and after reading and researching, my fears have moved from L&D to the postpartum period/ fourth trimester. Best of luck to you!
I have 6 children and can attest to how hard it is but how it’s totally worth it. And the more babies you have the more your love multiples. It’s amazing!❤
I admire mothers with multiple children who manage it well and stay sane. I’m a first time new mom and even though after 12 weeks I know my baby quite well now, it’s so so hard physically and mentally. I can’t imagine putting myself through it again. Although I used to see myself having several children.
One of the best things I did after birth of my children was having a post-partum dula (my mom) to run the night shift for the first two weeks. My mom stayed up and held my babies while I slept. Then she would bring them to me every two hours to nurse. This allowed me to actually *sleep* at night so I had energy to care for my baby during the day. And also meal-trains 😅
I am incredibly grateful for this video, although I am not a mother yet. Thank you so much for being so transparent and sharing the unadulterated, truth of motherhood and your experience. The psychosis part is some thing that I empathize with, as I helped foster a newborn baby for a year, and it was such an experience. Motherhood really is 24/7.
My husband and I are planning to try for a baby this year. I am 1000% sending him this video, because you did an amazing job explaining everything that I simultaneously didn't know about and need him to understand. Congratulations Jasmyne, you're doing fantastic!
I am not married and I haven't ever been pregnant, but I would like to be both someday. I have seen some articles/videos about "what no one tells you about having a baby" and several of them seem really negative. It's actually kind of scary to start thinking, maybe I shouldn't be wanting a baby because it will be so horrible and miserable and I'll regret it. It was very encouraging to see someone like you, who loves God and loves your baby and seems (from other videos) to have regained some rhythm in your life talk honestly about the challenges. I think the idea that It's only a phase and other women have struggles yet survive will help me when I do eventually have a baby. Because I also see plenty of women who seem to love having kids/babies. I feel like your video did a good job putting both things together in a non-despondent yet honest way.💗
‘Love lived here’. I’m sat listening to you whilst holding my 7 week old baby and this phrase brought tears to my eyes! What a beautiful phrase, I’ll be reminding myself of this.
Even as a woman who’s not yet a mother, I really appreciated your candor and transparency in this video. I do think about being a mother one day, but you definitely brought to my attention some of the realities to expect, at least within the first six months of giving birth. I think a lot of women, and possibly men, idealize and fantasize about becoming parents and forget that there is a season of being in the trenches with your newborn until you find your rhythm and they eventually grow into a routine that matches yours as an adult. Anyway thank you again this was so enlightening and illuminating ❤
Thank you for sharing this video and being so raw and honest about your postpartum experience. I felt so much of what you were feeling but during my pregnancy. It was a terrible time between the changes in my body, the lack of support and emotional abuse from my sons father, and being far from my family. It was hell. I struggled so bad with depression and had those same thoughts of harming myself to stop the emotional pain. Thank God for bringing me through that. I think after all I went through it was by Gods grace alone that He allowed me to have a smooth transition into motherhood once my son was born. This video really helped me understand what most mothers go through and how hard the adjustment period and breastfeeding can be.
I needed to hear this. I’m so excited for motherhood but I’m naturally very naive to the experience. Definitely mentally preparing myself. But I know it’s gonna be worth it.
I've literally just overcome every element that you described my baby just started sleeping through the night at 12 months and just like that my hair is back, skin is back, libido is back, sense of humour, no more aches and pains. 😢😢😢 I'm not an emotional person but I literally burst in to tears watching this 😂😂😂
I found postpartum after my first to be traumatic. I was not prepared and eventually broke down. Thank God I had lots of people around me so I had emotional support. I just had a second baby and it was HARD but my husband stayed home with me for a month to help me, then my mom for true next month. Thank God!
*In India* when a lady is pragnent before one month to baby comes one person from the girl side of the family or maybe from the boy side of the family comes leaving all work just to help the women who is pregnant and usually the person is who has an experience with babies before . All the care of bady is done by the lady , just the brest feeding is mom's job's And in that .... She is told various remedies if there is any problem she is having is brest feeding. Later she is explained how to give a baby bath properly etc *like full baby course is given to the newly mother* And all this is must to be done Or is a tradition to help the mom
That sounds like such a beautiful tradition. I think this or something similar to this is how it really should be. Becoming a mother is something that no one should have to go through alone.
Also in many african countries, like my country Kenya. I noticed that in the west we think we are responsible for everything but human lived in tribes so they can support each other. Eventhough we are the parents, there is also family there which their role is to support in such times and vice versa. We are not meant to deal with everything completely alone as 2 people. Thats why we have a community & family. 😊
My husband took 6 weeks off after my 3 children were born . He took care of all domestic things, which was wonderful. My first went through a few weeks of colic , so traumatic for all of us. His pain hard to endure. I wanted to throw the screaming out the window . Nothing helped . Yes to be prepared . Also with homeopathic remedies , cranio sacral therapy for baby ,as their birth experience is traumatic as well . So very hard for parents without support .
This video has so many things a new mom goes through and doesn’t talk about most times. I wish I saw something like this before having my oldest daughter!
Nothing can prepare you for how much work a baby can be, I had an easy pregnancy/birth/breastfeeding experience but at around two weeks my daughter started crying all day unless we bounced her up and down or took her for walks in the sling - every time I sat down to rest she would start to scream! My son was the opposite and was a chill baby! They are now both teens and are a delight to be with and I don't regret a second of motherhood but it was so much harder than I ever imagined beforehand. The best thing I ever did but also the hardest
This was so comforting to hear, reminders are so important sometimes 😅 I just had my first baby five weeks ago, and the sleep deprivation was real. The sleep-deprivation-induced tear-filled breakdowns were real too 😅😂 One of the most helpful things for me as far as getting adequate sleep has been is taking turns with my husband. No, we don’t really get to go to bed together, but getting a guaranteed 5+ hours of sleep a night while in survival mode is totally worth it. And even at the 5 week mark, I can confirm, it gets WAY easier. There’s hope, mamas! ❤️
Thank you so much for sharing your experience. I am so proud of you for making it through those hardest weeks! I 100% would have benefited from this video before having my baby, so to anyone who's having a baby soon -- take notes! My main takeaway here is that it all gets better. My son is 6 months old now, and I forgot how wild the first couple of weeks were until I watched this video!
I had my second child just 2 weeks after you had your baby and the hardest for me is the exhaustion of managing a two year old and a little baby. They never sleep at the same time so I get zero minute of proper rest per day, my brain is always on and I experience this rage you mentioned, I don't recognize myself anymore. I also eat way too much because of stress and of the need for comfort, which means I'm gaining weight postpartum... and the worst of all is that I resent my oldest for just being here. It's like I don't know how to love her anymore because I'm too exhausted and she's too demanding. Really, it's hard.
I bought Ashwaganda & lemon balm tea to calm my nerves so I can sleep better. Would recommend. And remember that 8 hours of broken sleep is comparable to 8 hours of continuous sleep & walking can help to diminish effects of sleep deprivation 💞💞
Thanks for your honesty. My children are grown now, but I experienced many of the discouraging things that you describe. The ripped sore nipples when b/feeding my first. My first was in ICU for awhile, he fought b/feeding after he had already been fed w bottle. No help from family/friends, we lived in a new place and knew no one. Husband extremely jealous of baby added to the problems. But . . . All worth it in the end! Such a privilege!!
Congratulations mommy, my son will be 9 in April and this video reminded me of everything i went through so vividly, i remember the aches in my body, i relate so much, and u right it gets better, i remember the 1st few years all i was looking forward to was uninterrupted sleep and for him start speaking so he can say what he wants or feel, and dont have play the guessing game while hes crying. To this day i still dont fully belong to myself, but experience them getting into the own is so so rewarding. Congratulations again and great video as always.
Loved this video and all the honesty. We always hear about the magical parts of motherhood, but not the tough parts. Good job for you for going through all this (especially postpartum rage and psychosis,) and still being able to acknowledge the value of suffering. God bless you and thanks for your videos!
Thank you so much for being honest. And the first thing I thought when I saw you was, “she looks like a grown up woman now!” there’s an aura of maturity and wisdom that comes with motherhood. Glory to God! I wish the best for you and your family. 🥰
Oh my goodness. Beautiful testimony. Thank you for being so honest and vulnerable about your journey. I'm not even a mother and have no plans to, but I've always felt that women's mental health would be so much better if they could just share honestly about what to expect about motherhood and the journey to get there. "Get ready to push"-Its funny you mentioned that! I had a childhood friend who said the same thing, that she didn't actually expect to be a mother until it was time to push 😅 It was like, all of a sudden, this weird 9 month journey she was on suddenly became very real to her. And I agree, I think pregnant women may spend too much time preparing for the birth, and NOT THE POSTPARTUM PERIOD. This is dangerous as it can lead to depression, anxiety, and even suicide if new moms are not sure what to expect after childbirth. Feeling of guilt/anxiety-Oh, my heart broke for you hearing that! Women already place way too much pressure on themselves to be perfect for everyone, all the time. New motherhood is like that times 1000 from what I've seen. My same friend from earlier, the first time I took her to lunch 3 months after her baby was born, she had a complete meltdown in my car because she felt like a 'bad mom" for being away from the baby for 30 minutes. I had to explain to her that, taking care of yourself is JUST AS IMPORTANT AS CARING FOR YOUR BABY. She had literally just been in her house with the baby for 3 solid months, she didn't even go to the mailbox. So yes, time away from your baby is needed! Breastfeeding-That all sounds so horrible! Especially if you want to do things as natural as possible and you find yourself struggling with it. I knew from my friend about mastitis, but I didn't realize how painful breastfeeding can sometimes be. Some women make it seem so easy! Thanks again for your honest portrayal of new motherhood. Content like this is why I love your channel! Blessings to you and your daughter 💕🙏🏽
Welcome back moma❤ Edit: WOOWWW! This was deep and raw. Thanks for being so honest and open, I’ve never ever heard anybody describe motherhood like this. They often make it seem easy. I can tell you, I’m going to need help and I hope my mom will be alive when my time comes.
Thank you for your honesty. Personally I appreciate that, i don't know why the previous generations didn't talk more about this. I feel more comfortable knowing the possibilities of motherhood.
In general previous generations had a support system mother so less of all these for new mommy. Its still th case in some part of the world, the women take care of the new mother sometimes 4 weeks.
I am a new mom to a 5 months old and so many things you express Ed are so relatable. As mkthers we sacrifice so much but also the list of expectations we feel from society... Its sometimes just too much but I am going to take it more easy and thanks for all your advices 💕
You are so courageous to speak about postpartum (depression, psychosis and rage) So many new mothers are afraid to ask for help because they worry that their child may be taken from them because they’re seen as unfit mothers. You speak for so many! I’ve watched my sisters suffer with postcard depression etc and I wish it was something that wasn’t so misunderstood by society. Congrats on being a mother!!
This video is gonna blow up. I love this! Your honesty only makes me more grateful for my mother and all the mothers around me. Women need to hear this! Especially in the feminine / traditional community. We can be honest about these things and still be pro mamma pro family etc.
Thanks for sharing the honest truth about your experience. It's so easy to feel isolated in the early days, I'm sure this video will help a lot of new mums to know they're not the only one in the world feeling like this. I know you said at times you felt like you weren't doing things out of love, but caring for your baby even when you don't feel like it is in some ways is a great example of a mother's love. Our feelings aren't always going to be what we want them to be at many stages in motherhood but caring for our kids despite it is what it's all about 😊
The thumbnail with your bubba is so teasing! Wish we could see her for 10 seconds at first and feel the radiating love between you 💗 Loved the peak of her from your birth video. Still loooved this video!
im only half way through the video and i had to stop to comment. this video is NECESSARY!! OMG! i really wish i saw this before i had my son (7years ago). everything you said thus far is 100% accurate and i remember the anxiety and exhaustion and just hopeless feeling of being a new mother. it was the best and worst feeling at the same time. i can honestly say its something you never expect or anticipate when you decide to have children. im looking forward to having my next child and just taking the knowledge that i have and hoping that it comforts me when the time comes that i experience all these emotions again. but Thank you so much for sharing this.❤
You just gave us the scoop! Thank you. I have been grieving my life honestly for awhile and I’m 34 weeks pregnant. I am a painter who is looking to start a business for help my household financially but because of the lack of space, i had to put all of my stuff in storage and don’t have room to work right now… this just really helped me to slow down even more because though I’ve been living a slower life now, I needed to remember I’m being life into the world and not to beat myself up if I’m not able to help as much as I care for our baby in the early stage.
You literally put into words so well everything I was feeling in the post partum phase with my son. I remember as we developed routines and he started sleeping longer and then I started sleeping longer, I remember him being about 4 months old when I truly felt like me, I had energy and love to give and that's when his babyhood really felt so fun and joyful. I always loved him but how you put it, being truly tapped out was so overwhelming at times. Now he is a sweet 3 year old and we have so much fun together and he regularly reminds me to have patience and grace! I think your video was such a gift to new and future mama's out there! You definitely have a gift for being well spoken and clarifying your thoughts!
Thank you for this beautiful message As a mother of four beautiful angels from 0- 10 years you spoke the ABSOLUTE TRUTH. You covered everything I went through and so much more. You are such an amazing and beautiful soul. This message has to go viral because this is the absolute truth young woman need to hear the message. The beauty of motherhood covers every emotion Blessings my love
This is so relatable. We didn't have the same exact issues, but I can barely remember my first month post partum after my eldest son because that month was seriously just a haze.
You've nailed it right on the head. I just had my second baby a year and a half ago, and despite having an easy birth, both times, breastfeeding was extremely difficult for me. I never mastered it despite having 2 home births. As for the emotional coaster ride, I have to commend you and say you're much further ahead than i was. I was still mourning my maidenhood a good year after my first baby was born. Eventually my new role as a mother grew on me. I have to thank my wonderful husband for being my pillar through that time. I will say, it doesn't ever get easier but we learn how to appreciate these delicate and precious moments more. Lastly, I think it's a great disservice that our world has only taught women how to be maidens, but not mothers. I think if we were better exposed to what that role really meant, then this would be an easier transition. To all the expectant moms out there, trust the process. It may take a week, 3 months or 2 years to finally find yourself in this new role, but it really is worth it.
Thank you, Jasmine, for sharing this! Mine is 6 years old now, and I'm still trying to integrate the trauma of my labor and post partum stages. I tell people all the time that "I never knew how someone could shake their baby to death, until I had her." I know that sounds terrible, but knowing what I went through, how long it too us took us to come out of it and the fact that I did it completely alone (before even knowing Jesus), I feel like it's a totally valid statement. Hearing this brings me to tears. It's a deep sadness/empathy knowing how dark and lonely that stage is and an overwhelming comfort knowing that my experience was not a totally isolated fluke and I'm just a wimp for not being able to handle it. Thank you for bringing the real trauma of labor and postpartum into the light! 🙏🙏🙏🙏 When we are prepared we heal much faster!
Thank you for making this and talking about this! My husband and I are starting to mentally prepare for having a baby; we've been talking about it for a number of months now, and we're starting to make changes like pre-conception health planning and making sure that our bodies (specifically mine, but his is important too) are in the best health we can be in. I'm going to share this with him, as hopefully it will help him to help me better in the months post baby.
I was really lucky because I decided to have my baby at a birthing center. That allowed me to have a doula and a midwife so after the birth it was constant help. Even if it was just a text message or video call they were there to assist me. And this was during the pandemic. Because that is something they never really speak on. After you bring my baby home is when stuff gets REAL. Congratulations on your baby!!
An aspiring wife & mother here, and this is quite informative. As a Christian, this reminds me of the enmity between the snake & the woman (spiritual warfare between the two), like childbirth pain. It's also a problem that is more evident in individualist countries where families are skattered and women are left to, as you said & evidenced, figure out taking care of a new born alone. I'm so happy you overcame.
I wish I knew a lot of this! So many women I knew were telling me how wonderful it would be and even after I had my son they would say "isn't it just great don't you love your baby so much?". I felt like I was doing something wrong because nobody was treating me like a person who was only getting one hour of sleep a day and struggling to feed my baby. My son was also in the NICU and came home on oxygen after a super traumatic birth and all anyone could say to me was "thank God it wasn't worse!" I felt like such a failure and I had such bad postpartum depression. I was able to get progesterone shots for my depression, I stopped breastfeeding at 15 months, and my son now sleeps through the night (sort of 😅). He is now 18 months and he has tons of words and motherhood is still challenging but it is so much more fun now. I would do it all over again but I wish that somebody had been honest with me about how hard it was going to be. I know that in more traditional communities like my Catholic Church, people and women go out of their way to glorify the experience of giving birth and having children in part to counter the broader culture which tells women that they shouldn't be having children and that children are a burden. While I understand that perspective and I think it is needed in some ways It really did make me feel like I was doing everything wrong when I had mothers with 8+ kids around me acting like I should be in heaven while taking care of a newborn. Great video as always!
Girl! This. To the T. I love my baby boy more than anything and I would do it again without hesitation, but our first month of breastfeeding was awful. I got mastitis and my nipples were so messed up, scabs and all. I would scream out every time he latched. We had latching issues, too. A nipple shield saved our breastfeeding journey until he was bigger and his latch was wider. He is 13 months old now and still breastfeeds (without the shield). I felt so discouraged during those first 6 weeks because I thought the hard part was labor, but here I was suffering further and I had no idea if it would get better. Thankfully it did. I watched so many latching videos but honestly the nipple shield is what did it. I tried pumping and it just wasn't working for us at all because I couldn't pump while he was awake so I would have to stay awake longer to pump and it was just awful 😱
Thanks for the realistic perspective on postpartum. As a first time mom with a now one year old, everything you said resonated. It’s so much harder than you can imagine but also so so worth it!! Love the content!
Sometimes I wonder what mothers even discuss with their daughters. I’m saying this because whenever I watch one of these “I didn’t expect/know” videos regarding birth/postpartum it always consists of what my mom and I casually talk about over dinner😂 Nonetheless motherhood looks beautiful on you love❤️ keep pushing you got this🫶🏾
My mother has told me nothing. Not a thing, beyond "Having kids isn't worth it. Find something else to fill your life with." XD Ergo, a video like this from Jasmyne is utterly invaluable for women like me, who stubbornly intend to have children anyways.
I think after so many years my mom just forgot how hard it is. The only thing she mentioned is her nipples bleeding. I'm 18 months out from having my 1st and the details of how hard it was are getting fuzzy.
My mom always acted like it was no big deal. She never really said it was a difficult and she didn't seem to remember much about the early days...totally not how it really is!!!
I am so glad my boyfriend is here to help me. Its been the most difficult transition and I feel like my vagina is falling out. I can't even get out of bed I'm so delirious and uncomfortable at times, so my bf changes the diapers, burps him, and puts him back in the crib after evey time I feed him. I wish he didn't have to go back to work next week...I feel like I need so much assistance. I miss being able to go on walks, leave the house, and sleep well...and not feeling like my vagina is falling and will never be the same.. The first few weeks have not been enjoyable...and i was not prepared for how long it would take for me to heal after a traumatic birth. Thank you for being honest about everything. I think it will be much better when I'm not still healing and feel physically better! And when he transitions to formula so others can feed him sometimes! Looking forward to things getting better and so thankful my bf is here to care for us ❤❤❤
Wow, so sorry to hear this and really appreciate you guys One of the main reasons am scared of moving to the states is cuz people don't have support after giving birth In Ethiopia a mother or a sister, any female family member or if not a neighbour or atleast a hired nanny must be with the mother and baby atleast for 3 months but mostly for 6 months. It's like a little honeymoon with the baby because a lot of people gather around making food for the mother especially till she's strong enough Moms are not allowed to leave their house for until the christianing day of the baby
I'm glad you shared this because since all my experiences of having my children wasn't like this. I had my first few kids in unhealthy, dysfunctional, sinful situations and the only joy I had was holding and nursing and bathing my babies. Breastfeeding came so natural for me. Perhaps my life was so bad God in His mercy gave me just that. But I don't want to be judgmental to moms who had it hard. I did have the body changes but I was the opposite. I thought all the changes would go away with exercise and skin care, including stretch marks . So by the time reality hit it was too late to be sad about it.
You are so beautiful and strong. Thank you for being 100% transparent with us. Regardless of what you have experienced. I can tell that your an amazing mom 🌸💕
I felt exactly the same what you were describing in this video 🎉 Thank you for your honesty 🙏🏼 I also had to take ibuprofen for breast feeding 🤱 while I was exhausted not being able to sleep due to my son was crying hourly 24/7…. I do feel you ❤
I recall dreaming during my sleep, expecting a baby, I felt shocked and thought it was real and at that view it was hard to imagine in thinking, how am I going to begin with dealing with the needs for babies and how one needs to learn the pattern of breast-feeding... This video at last came to know what you observe that matters for after birth.
Thank you for talking about this. Motherhood was really hard for me especially because we didn’t have any family in our city & my child would not wean off of my breast for 18 months! Whenever I would say how I missed my old life people would try to guilt me into being a bad mother, but I love my child I just did not like the version of motherhood I was experiencing. She’s almost 2 now & we are in a much better place! It does get better 💜
Thank you for your video! It has so much valuable information. I am currently 5 weeks pregnant after a long 4 year journey of TTC and one miscarriage. I look forward to the day I can meet my baby 🥰 thank you again!
It was amazing but incredibly HARD being a mother the first time, it was EASY being a motherthe second time. Yes! It will get better. First time is so difficult. I had the same things you are describing. Lack of sleep makes anybody a sort of monster. It's scary. No, I don't miss the newborn stage. Haha. I loved everything about seeing my precious baby but would not want those first days back. Yes I carry my strech marks. They do get much better with time. My stomach was literally destroyed the first time, now it's almost decent. Yes, laughter is the best medicine. You are such a nice person. 😊 I can't even imagine you angry. Enjoy motherhood! ❤️
I watched this at 40 weeks and thought I heard you, but tomorrow I am 6 weeks postpartum and I really HEAR you. Rewatching this video now was so cathartic, I was sobbing the whole time. Thank you for sharing your experience with the world ❤
I feel this in my soul. The best and worst at the same time, that is the just of it. I switched to mostly pumping too but at like 5 months we figured it out and went back to breastfeeding! Honestly saved my sanity. Best wishes for you and your little one! Mine is nearly a year now,, and it is wild, it just gets better! (and more challenging, in different ways)
Omg this hits home. I gave birth 3 weeks ago this next Tues. I gave up on breastfeeding because baby wouldn't latch & my breasts hurt so much from the milk coming in. I leaked everywhere & the pump was not getting anything out. I also have a 20 month old so I had to care for her too & struggled so much with the pain. I am home alone most of the time so no one could help me. I feel so depressed about having given up on breastfeeding .... however I also get dmer so letting down milk makes me depressed too. If baby latched it would have helped so much
Cant you get a doula or lactation expert to come in and help. It helped me out w my oldest and w the 3rd who has a reclining chin. Which made feeding very painful for the 2 years I did it for him. For the first I had painful sore ni... for one or 2 mths. Hopefully you'll get it sorted
@@Maderlololohio I wish. I can't afford it. I'm not paid for maternity leave and my job went on furlough due the the economy since a couple months ago.
@@betylaguerrera sorry to hear about it surely some is covered by insurance. Or maybe there are special programmes where you can apply and get the help. A doc or nurse or social worker might be able to get you in touch w it
Thank you for being so open an honest! I have never heard any woman say these things and I am very grateful that you are sharing your advice and insights. Me and my husband are trying for a baby and I am researching and learning. I praise God for Christian women like you, who are sharing their story and letting God use them to encourage and educate other women 🙏🤍
I'm a young girl, I'm excited to be married some day and have kids, and you make me trust that it's right even more, and also think of things to discuss with my future man before our baby comes. I appreciate you and this baby content sosososososo much, please please know that. I appreciate it to my soul and back at least four to a billion times. You make me want to be a mom even more, which is comforting, because I used to not want that as a little girl, and now it feels a bit strange every time I think that I DO want to have kids and stay at home, not have a career. You make me more sure of that descision than the literal science of the psychology of women wanting kids. I appreciate you and this content so much; thank you, Jasmyne.
Hi again beautiful, I hear you on how you felt in postpartum but letting your body rest and surrender to postpartum is key one you surrender to it it feels beautiful in a way - 😊
I’m not a parent yet but I’ve been an in-home childcare professional for dozens of families + I have such a love for motherhood + supporting mamas + parents (studying to become a postpartum doula). so, I just want to say “sis, girl, mama, queen, you are doing a good job 👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽!!” I hope you remember that 🫶🏽. your transparency is so beautiful + necessary-thank you for sharing with us. your vulnerability is helping other women be honest, feel seen, + advocate for themselves during the 4th trimester + the world is better because of that-because of you. so happy the journey is enjoyable for you now!! keeping you + rest of the mamas out there + your precious babies lifted up in prayer 🙏🏽.
Not me watching this 3 months pregnant and being scared of giving birth and everything that comes after it🥺😭💀💔 God take wheels 🙏 I appreciate your honesty and openness Sis. Now that I know what to expect, it won't be as scary i guess.
Thank you so much for this video like I literally can not thank you enough. I really felt so awful about having rage and psychosis pp and I thought that I was doomed but now I truly see light at the end of the tunnel. It's so relieving to see I am not alone and you and so many other new moms feel exactly the same. It's relieving to see another person who thought they shouldn't ask for help that says ask for it when you need it. It popped up in perfect timing. Thank you ❤️
Thanks for your honesty on this topic it is truly refreshing! Motherhood is unique in a sense where it's probably the most difficult yet the most rewarding. It brings strong emotions on both negative and positive. As a mom of 5, for me, motherhood is one of those things that although it comes with many challenges....its something I would never not want to have....they are blessings I would never want to have.
I never thought for a second motherhood would be easy. I anticipated it would be the hardest thing I do in my life regardless of me being happily married with cool friends & family
So helpful to hear the bit about preparing mentally emotionally for when the baby is HERE, and not just the labor. Needed to hear that. June 23rd is our due date :) thank you for this.
A lot of women and men don’t really understand or get the clarity of how much work it actually takes to care for children. I just gave birth via C-section a month ago and having a one year old with getting a C-section was a very different experience. I had a n emergency C-section with my first so I understood how difficult it was caring for a child but two while in pain with no help at all was difficult. Its more of a mental difficulty. But on the other hand seeing how fast time seemed to go with my first makes me appreciate everything. Take it one day at a time especially if you have no help. Even though I’m married my husband works.
This video was so clear and easy to emphasize with! Thank you so much. As someone who always feels baby fever, my fever began to temporarily subside after watching this. Really enjoying my life now… knowing that it won’t always be here.
As a son, this makes me appreciate my mum even more.
Your mom did well
Same bro
As a future husband and Dad, this is a gem of information.
Great! Just allow your wife some time and understanding. Many couples break up because of these changes that are too much for the men sometimes. It will all be good. Or maybe you'll just be lucky and everything will go smoothly. Congratulations and best wishes!
Your gonna be an amazing husband and dad ❣️
That is beautiful to hear. We’ve all seen women not have the care and support they need even though they could not control what happens to them in this process. Please be there for her 💯🙏🏽
So many women are unaware of what can happen with postpartum- how amazing to be a husband who can look out for your wife and child! Excellent job!! ❤
So glad you spoke on the psychosis...
A friend of mine began to hear voices and experienced moments of random rage due to her sleep deprivation and its very sad to witness.
I didn’t realize how common postpartum psychosis was.
Moms need help!
Well done dear. It truly is not easy. In Nigeria (south eastern), the mom of the new mother and mother-in-law take turns to cater to the new mother at least for the first 6 months. At times you get other relatives rally round to help with cooking, cleaning and other chores. So the new mom just eats, sleeps and feeds her baby. Even baby care (bathing) is also done by the mom. They also guide you on latching and other things. For you to do all that alone, it can take a toll on you. I am glad you are better now.🌺🌸🌺🌸
Exactly, that's the problem in the West. I heard of similar practices in Asia. I told my mother she should move in with me when I give birth. It was hypothetical. I'm not pregnant 😅 But I wanted to know if she would be up for it. She said, "no way, I did on my own, so you have to do it on your own." Isn't that crazy?!
@@johanna2690 😂😂😂 Momsy of life.
my mother in law is from Lagos and she's the best!
That was what used to be common even in the West a century ago and still does in places where extended families stay near each other. The nuclear family model is a disaster and creates isolation from knowing and learning from those who lived before you. I grew up close to extended family and knew five generations that I gained so much wisdom from and felt very loved and helped.
Bring back that extension and it'll give people more peace of mind. One's child isn't just you or your spouse's child, it's also God's child and the child of the rest of the family.
Thank the Lord, my husband stayed home for a month with me and then my mom came to stay with us for the second month. Then we moved up and stayed with my mom for 2 months. Having 4 months of constant help made all the difference!
This was me. She's 11 months old now but I wish pple talked more about what it's really like. It's eye opening, shows u unhealed areas of ur childhood etc. But it also shows you how strong you really are
Me: 🤔✍🏾✍🏾✍🏾
Also me: Caught between wanting marriage and babies, yet also appreciating the liberty that I have a a single!
I’m 38 1/2 weeks pregnant and this was SO hard to hear… I wanted to click out because some of it is terrifying. However, I’d rather be more aware of these things so I can self monitor and ask for more help before things get too overwhelming. Thank you for discussing these topics ❤
It is very accurate
why didn’t you do your research before getting pregnant…….
@Kelsi wishing you a smooth delivery AND postpartum recovery! You’re on your way to being an outstanding mother simply by informing yourself ❤
Right here with you. I am 28 weeks and after reading and researching, my fears have moved from L&D to the postpartum period/ fourth trimester. Best of luck to you!
I have 6 children and can attest to how hard it is but how it’s totally worth it. And the more babies you have the more your love multiples. It’s amazing!❤
That’s encouraging to hear! I would’ve thought it would’ve been harder to spread love the more kids you have :)
I admire mothers with multiple children who manage it well and stay sane. I’m a first time new mom and even though after 12 weeks I know my baby quite well now, it’s so so hard physically and mentally. I can’t imagine putting myself through it again. Although I used to see myself having several children.
😂😂😂😂😂
@@TheKaraqi4 "SANE" THIS is is... I'm sane now after 4 baby 80% sane
One of the best things I did after birth of my children was having a post-partum dula (my mom) to run the night shift for the first two weeks. My mom stayed up and held my babies while I slept. Then she would bring them to me every two hours to nurse. This allowed me to actually *sleep* at night so I had energy to care for my baby during the day. And also meal-trains 😅
I am incredibly grateful for this video, although I am not a mother yet. Thank you so much for being so transparent and sharing the unadulterated, truth of motherhood and your experience. The psychosis part is some thing that I empathize with, as I helped foster a newborn baby for a year, and it was such an experience. Motherhood really is 24/7.
My husband and I are planning to try for a baby this year. I am 1000% sending him this video, because you did an amazing job explaining everything that I simultaneously didn't know about and need him to understand.
Congratulations Jasmyne, you're doing fantastic!
Glad it was helpful!
Think twice. It might break u. I'm exhausted. I miss my old life forever 😢😢😢😢
I am not married and I haven't ever been pregnant, but I would like to be both someday. I have seen some articles/videos about "what no one tells you about having a baby" and several of them seem really negative. It's actually kind of scary to start thinking, maybe I shouldn't be wanting a baby because it will be so horrible and miserable and I'll regret it. It was very encouraging to see someone like you, who loves God and loves your baby and seems (from other videos) to have regained some rhythm in your life talk honestly about the challenges. I think the idea that It's only a phase and other women have struggles yet survive will help me when I do eventually have a baby. Because I also see plenty of women who seem to love having kids/babies. I feel like your video did a good job putting both things together in a non-despondent yet honest way.💗
Postpartum is brutal. I’m a pretty healthy woman but nothing could’ve prepared me for how much it would f*ck me up
‘Love lived here’. I’m sat listening to you whilst holding my 7 week old baby and this phrase brought tears to my eyes! What a beautiful phrase, I’ll be reminding myself of this.
Even as a woman who’s not yet a mother, I really appreciated your candor and transparency in this video. I do think about being a mother one day, but you definitely brought to my attention some of the realities to expect, at least within the first six months of giving birth. I think a lot of women, and possibly men, idealize and fantasize about becoming parents and forget that there is a season of being in the trenches with your newborn until you find your rhythm and they eventually grow into a routine that matches yours as an adult. Anyway thank you again this was so enlightening and illuminating ❤
Thank you for sharing this video and being so raw and honest about your postpartum experience. I felt so much of what you were feeling but during my pregnancy. It was a terrible time between the changes in my body, the lack of support and emotional abuse from my sons father, and being far from my family. It was hell. I struggled so bad with depression and had those same thoughts of harming myself to stop the emotional pain. Thank God for bringing me through that. I think after all I went through it was by Gods grace alone that He allowed me to have a smooth transition into motherhood once my son was born. This video really helped me understand what most mothers go through and how hard the adjustment period and breastfeeding can be.
You described everything I have been feeling... Thank you, I now don't feel so alone.
I needed to hear this. I’m so excited for motherhood but I’m naturally very naive to the experience. Definitely mentally preparing myself. But I know it’s gonna be worth it.
I've literally just overcome every element that you described my baby just started sleeping through the night at 12 months and just like that my hair is back, skin is back, libido is back, sense of humour, no more aches and pains. 😢😢😢 I'm not an emotional person but I literally burst in to tears watching this 😂😂😂
I found postpartum after my first to be traumatic. I was not prepared and eventually broke down. Thank God I had lots of people around me so I had emotional support. I just had a second baby and it was HARD but my husband stayed home with me for a month to help me, then my mom for true next month. Thank God!
*In India*
when a lady is pragnent before one month to baby comes
one person from the girl side of the family or maybe from the boy side of the family comes leaving all work just to help the women who is pregnant and usually the person is who has an experience with babies before .
All the care of bady is done by the lady , just the brest feeding is mom's job's
And in that ....
She is told various remedies if there is any problem she is having is brest feeding.
Later she is explained how to give a baby bath properly etc *like full baby course is given to the newly mother*
And all this is must to be done
Or is a tradition to help the mom
That's nice
That sounds like such a beautiful tradition. I think this or something similar to this is how it really should be. Becoming a mother is something that no one should have to go through alone.
Also in many african countries, like my country Kenya. I noticed that in the west we think we are responsible for everything but human lived in tribes so they can support each other. Eventhough we are the parents, there is also family there which their role is to support in such times and vice versa. We are not meant to deal with everything completely alone as 2 people. Thats why we have a community & family. 😊
My husband took 6 weeks off after my 3 children were born . He took care of all domestic things, which was wonderful. My first went through a few weeks of colic , so traumatic for all of us. His pain hard to endure. I wanted to throw the screaming out the window . Nothing helped . Yes to be prepared . Also with homeopathic remedies , cranio sacral therapy for baby ,as their birth experience is traumatic as well . So very hard for parents without support .
I’m 4 weeks postpartum.
simply, thank you.
This video has so many things a new mom goes through and doesn’t talk about most times. I wish I saw something like this before having my oldest daughter!
I appreciate my mother even more now after watching this. She was single (due to my bio father abandoning us). This is a really eye opening video.
Nothing can prepare you for how much work a baby can be, I had an easy pregnancy/birth/breastfeeding experience but at around two weeks my daughter started crying all day unless we bounced her up and down or took her for walks in the sling - every time I sat down to rest she would start to scream! My son was the opposite and was a chill baby! They are now both teens and are a delight to be with and I don't regret a second of motherhood but it was so much harder than I ever imagined beforehand. The best thing I ever did but also the hardest
This was so comforting to hear, reminders are so important sometimes 😅
I just had my first baby five weeks ago, and the sleep deprivation was real. The sleep-deprivation-induced tear-filled breakdowns were real too 😅😂
One of the most helpful things for me as far as getting adequate sleep has been is taking turns with my husband. No, we don’t really get to go to bed together, but getting a guaranteed 5+ hours of sleep a night while in survival mode is totally worth it.
And even at the 5 week mark, I can confirm, it gets WAY easier. There’s hope, mamas! ❤️
Thank you so much for sharing your experience. I am so proud of you for making it through those hardest weeks! I 100% would have benefited from this video before having my baby, so to anyone who's having a baby soon -- take notes! My main takeaway here is that it all gets better. My son is 6 months old now, and I forgot how wild the first couple of weeks were until I watched this video!
I had my second child just 2 weeks after you had your baby and the hardest for me is the exhaustion of managing a two year old and a little baby. They never sleep at the same time so I get zero minute of proper rest per day, my brain is always on and I experience this rage you mentioned, I don't recognize myself anymore. I also eat way too much because of stress and of the need for comfort, which means I'm gaining weight postpartum... and the worst of all is that I resent my oldest for just being here. It's like I don't know how to love her anymore because I'm too exhausted and she's too demanding. Really, it's hard.
Gosh. You are so strong. You’ll get through this soon, I promise. I’ll pray for you 💞💞
@@JasmyneTheodora Thank you for your kind words ☺
I bought Ashwaganda & lemon balm tea to calm my nerves so I can sleep better. Would recommend. And remember that 8 hours of broken sleep is comparable to 8 hours of continuous sleep & walking can help to diminish effects of sleep deprivation 💞💞
@@JasmyneTheodora I'll give it a try, it will be better than chocolate for sure !
Thanks for your honesty.
My children are grown now, but I experienced many of the discouraging things that you describe.
The ripped sore nipples when b/feeding my first. My first was in ICU for awhile, he fought b/feeding after he had already been fed w bottle.
No help from family/friends, we lived in a new place and knew no one. Husband extremely jealous of baby added to the problems.
But . . . All worth it in the end! Such a privilege!!
Husband extremely jealous of baby, my god that's absolutely shocking you had to deal with that.
Jasmyne, thank you for the video! As a young mom who’s pregnant with baby number two, it’s refreshing to hear the experiences of another young mom.
Thank you for being so honest! Too many people sugar cost motherhood. Thank you for talking about the bad parts
Congratulations mommy, my son will be 9 in April and this video reminded me of everything i went through so vividly, i remember the aches in my body, i relate so much, and u right it gets better, i remember the 1st few years all i was looking forward to was uninterrupted sleep and for him start speaking so he can say what he wants or feel, and dont have play the guessing game while hes crying. To this day i still dont fully belong to myself, but experience them getting into the own is so so rewarding. Congratulations again and great video as always.
Loved this video and all the honesty. We always hear about the magical parts of motherhood, but not the tough parts. Good job for you for going through all this (especially postpartum rage and psychosis,) and still being able to acknowledge the value of suffering. God bless you and thanks for your videos!
Thank you so much for being honest. And the first thing I thought when I saw you was, “she looks like a grown up woman now!” there’s an aura of maturity and wisdom that comes with motherhood. Glory to God! I wish the best for you and your family. 🥰
Oh my goodness. Beautiful testimony. Thank you for being so honest and vulnerable about your journey. I'm not even a mother and have no plans to, but I've always felt that women's mental health would be so much better if they could just share honestly about what to expect about motherhood and the journey to get there.
"Get ready to push"-Its funny you mentioned that! I had a childhood friend who said the same thing, that she didn't actually expect to be a mother until it was time to push 😅 It was like, all of a sudden, this weird 9 month journey she was on suddenly became very real to her. And I agree, I think pregnant women may spend too much time preparing for the birth, and NOT THE POSTPARTUM PERIOD. This is dangerous as it can lead to depression, anxiety, and even suicide if new moms are not sure what to expect after childbirth.
Feeling of guilt/anxiety-Oh, my heart broke for you hearing that! Women already place way too much pressure on themselves to be perfect for everyone, all the time. New motherhood is like that times 1000 from what I've seen. My same friend from earlier, the first time I took her to lunch 3 months after her baby was born, she had a complete meltdown in my car because she felt like a 'bad mom" for being away from the baby for 30 minutes. I had to explain to her that, taking care of yourself is JUST AS IMPORTANT AS CARING FOR YOUR BABY. She had literally just been in her house with the baby for 3 solid months, she didn't even go to the mailbox. So yes, time away from your baby is needed!
Breastfeeding-That all sounds so horrible! Especially if you want to do things as natural as possible and you find yourself struggling with it. I knew from my friend about mastitis, but I didn't realize how painful breastfeeding can sometimes be. Some women make it seem so easy!
Thanks again for your honest portrayal of new motherhood. Content like this is why I love your channel! Blessings to you and your daughter 💕🙏🏽
Welcome back moma❤
Edit: WOOWWW! This was deep and raw. Thanks for being so honest and open, I’ve never ever heard anybody describe motherhood like this. They often make it seem easy. I can tell you, I’m going to need help and I hope my mom will be alive when my time comes.
Thank you for your honesty. Personally I appreciate that, i don't know why the previous generations didn't talk more about this. I feel more comfortable knowing the possibilities of motherhood.
In general previous generations had a support system mother so less of all these for new mommy. Its still th case in some part of the world, the women take care of the new mother sometimes 4 weeks.
I am a new mom to a 5 months old and so many things you express Ed are so relatable. As mkthers we sacrifice so much but also the list of expectations we feel from society... Its sometimes just too much but I am going to take it more easy and thanks for all your advices 💕
You are so courageous to speak about postpartum (depression, psychosis and rage)
So many new mothers are afraid to ask for help because they worry that their child may be taken from them because they’re seen as unfit mothers.
You speak for so many!
I’ve watched my sisters suffer with postcard depression etc and I wish it was something that wasn’t so misunderstood by society.
Congrats on being a mother!!
This video is gonna blow up. I love this! Your honesty only makes me more grateful for my mother and all the mothers around me. Women need to hear this! Especially in the feminine / traditional community. We can be honest about these things and still be pro mamma pro family etc.
This is all so true. Thank you for sharing your experience. I wish I would have had someone tell me it all was normal when I had my first
Thank you for watching!
You summed up my experience with my first baby! I found it much easier the second and third time around knowing what to expect for postpartum!
Thanks for sharing the honest truth about your experience. It's so easy to feel isolated in the early days, I'm sure this video will help a lot of new mums to know they're not the only one in the world feeling like this.
I know you said at times you felt like you weren't doing things out of love, but caring for your baby even when you don't feel like it is in some ways is a great example of a mother's love. Our feelings aren't always going to be what we want them to be at many stages in motherhood but caring for our kids despite it is what it's all about 😊
This video needs to go viral because of how TRUE and she explains how motherhood REALLY is. ❤️❤️❤️
expecting mom. needed this transparency!! thank you!
So glad you found it valuable
The thumbnail with your bubba is so teasing! Wish we could see her for 10 seconds at first and feel the radiating love between you 💗 Loved the peak of her from your birth video. Still loooved this video!
im only half way through the video and i had to stop to comment. this video is NECESSARY!! OMG! i really wish i saw this before i had my son (7years ago). everything you said thus far is 100% accurate and i remember the anxiety and exhaustion and just hopeless feeling of being a new mother. it was the best and worst feeling at the same time. i can honestly say its something you never expect or anticipate when you decide to have children. im looking forward to having my next child and just taking the knowledge that i have and hoping that it comforts me when the time comes that i experience all these emotions again. but Thank you so much for sharing this.❤
Your candor and vulnerability is much appreciated
You just gave us the scoop! Thank you. I have been grieving my life honestly for awhile and I’m 34 weeks pregnant. I am a painter who is looking to start a business for help my household financially but because of the lack of space, i had to put all of my stuff in storage and don’t have room to work right now… this just really helped me to slow down even more because though I’ve been living a slower life now, I needed to remember I’m being life into the world and not to beat myself up if I’m not able to help as much as I care for our baby in the early stage.
You literally put into words so well everything I was feeling in the post partum phase with my son. I remember as we developed routines and he started sleeping longer and then I started sleeping longer, I remember him being about 4 months old when I truly felt like me, I had energy and love to give and that's when his babyhood really felt so fun and joyful. I always loved him but how you put it, being truly tapped out was so overwhelming at times. Now he is a sweet 3 year old and we have so much fun together and he regularly reminds me to have patience and grace! I think your video was such a gift to new and future mama's out there! You definitely have a gift for being well spoken and clarifying your thoughts!
Thank you for this beautiful message
As a mother of four beautiful angels from 0- 10 years you spoke the ABSOLUTE TRUTH.
You covered everything I went through and so much more.
You are such an amazing and beautiful soul.
This message has to go viral because this is the absolute truth young woman need to hear the message.
The beauty of motherhood covers every emotion
Blessings my love
This is so relatable. We didn't have the same exact issues, but I can barely remember my first month post partum after my eldest son because that month was seriously just a haze.
You've nailed it right on the head. I just had my second baby a year and a half ago, and despite having an easy birth, both times, breastfeeding was extremely difficult for me. I never mastered it despite having 2 home births.
As for the emotional coaster ride, I have to commend you and say you're much further ahead than i was. I was still mourning my maidenhood a good year after my first baby was born. Eventually my new role as a mother grew on me. I have to thank my wonderful husband for being my pillar through that time.
I will say, it doesn't ever get easier but we learn how to appreciate these delicate and precious moments more.
Lastly, I think it's a great disservice that our world has only taught women how to be maidens, but not mothers. I think if we were better exposed to what that role really meant, then this would be an easier transition.
To all the expectant moms out there, trust the process. It may take a week, 3 months or 2 years to finally find yourself in this new role, but it really is worth it.
The postpartum ocd hits so hard ❤️ sending prayers!
Thank you, Jasmine, for sharing this! Mine is 6 years old now, and I'm still trying to integrate the trauma of my labor and post partum stages. I tell people all the time that "I never knew how someone could shake their baby to death, until I had her." I know that sounds terrible, but knowing what I went through, how long it too us took us to come out of it and the fact that I did it completely alone (before even knowing Jesus), I feel like it's a totally valid statement.
Hearing this brings me to tears. It's a deep sadness/empathy knowing how dark and lonely that stage is and an overwhelming comfort knowing that my experience was not a totally isolated fluke and I'm just a wimp for not being able to handle it.
Thank you for bringing the real trauma of labor and postpartum into the light! 🙏🙏🙏🙏
When we are prepared we heal much faster!
God bless you 💜💜💜 I am so grateful for your honesty and candor! Very helpful as someone who wants to be a wife and mother in future
Thank you for making this and talking about this! My husband and I are starting to mentally prepare for having a baby; we've been talking about it for a number of months now, and we're starting to make changes like pre-conception health planning and making sure that our bodies (specifically mine, but his is important too) are in the best health we can be in. I'm going to share this with him, as hopefully it will help him to help me better in the months post baby.
I was really lucky because I decided to have my baby at a birthing center. That allowed me to have a doula and a midwife so after the birth it was constant help. Even if it was just a text message or video call they were there to assist me. And this was during the pandemic. Because that is something they never really speak on. After you bring my baby home is when stuff gets REAL. Congratulations on your baby!!
That is so great! And thank you!
An aspiring wife & mother here, and this is quite informative. As a Christian, this reminds me of the enmity between the snake & the woman (spiritual warfare between the two), like childbirth pain. It's also a problem that is more evident in individualist countries where families are skattered and women are left to, as you said & evidenced, figure out taking care of a new born alone. I'm so happy you overcame.
I wish I knew a lot of this! So many women I knew were telling me how wonderful it would be and even after I had my son they would say "isn't it just great don't you love your baby so much?". I felt like I was doing something wrong because nobody was treating me like a person who was only getting one hour of sleep a day and struggling to feed my baby. My son was also in the NICU and came home on oxygen after a super traumatic birth and all anyone could say to me was "thank God it wasn't worse!" I felt like such a failure and I had such bad postpartum depression.
I was able to get progesterone shots for my depression, I stopped breastfeeding at 15 months, and my son now sleeps through the night (sort of 😅). He is now 18 months and he has tons of words and motherhood is still challenging but it is so much more fun now.
I would do it all over again but I wish that somebody had been honest with me about how hard it was going to be. I know that in more traditional communities like my Catholic Church, people and women go out of their way to glorify the experience of giving birth and having children in part to counter the broader culture which tells women that they shouldn't be having children and that children are a burden. While I understand that perspective and I think it is needed in some ways It really did make me feel like I was doing everything wrong when I had mothers with 8+ kids around me acting like I should be in heaven while taking care of a newborn.
Great video as always!
Girl! This. To the T.
I love my baby boy more than anything and I would do it again without hesitation, but our first month of breastfeeding was awful. I got mastitis and my nipples were so messed up, scabs and all. I would scream out every time he latched. We had latching issues, too. A nipple shield saved our breastfeeding journey until he was bigger and his latch was wider. He is 13 months old now and still breastfeeds (without the shield). I felt so discouraged during those first 6 weeks because I thought the hard part was labor, but here I was suffering further and I had no idea if it would get better. Thankfully it did. I watched so many latching videos but honestly the nipple shield is what did it. I tried pumping and it just wasn't working for us at all because I couldn't pump while he was awake so I would have to stay awake longer to pump and it was just awful 😱
Thanks for the realistic perspective on postpartum. As a first time mom with a now one year old, everything you said resonated. It’s so much harder than you can imagine but also so so worth it!! Love the content!
Sometimes I wonder what mothers even discuss with their daughters. I’m saying this because whenever I watch one of these “I didn’t expect/know” videos regarding birth/postpartum it always consists of what my mom and I casually talk about over dinner😂
Nonetheless motherhood looks beautiful on you love❤️ keep pushing you got this🫶🏾
My mother has told me nothing. Not a thing, beyond "Having kids isn't worth it. Find something else to fill your life with." XD
Ergo, a video like this from Jasmyne is utterly invaluable for women like me, who stubbornly intend to have children anyways.
I think after so many years my mom just forgot how hard it is. The only thing she mentioned is her nipples bleeding. I'm 18 months out from having my 1st and the details of how hard it was are getting fuzzy.
@@TakaraoftheElvessame as my mum
My mom always acted like it was no big deal. She never really said it was a difficult and she didn't seem to remember much about the early days...totally not how it really is!!!
I am so glad my boyfriend is here to help me. Its been the most difficult transition and I feel like my vagina is falling out. I can't even get out of bed I'm so delirious and uncomfortable at times, so my bf changes the diapers, burps him, and puts him back in the crib after evey time I feed him. I wish he didn't have to go back to work next week...I feel like I need so much assistance. I miss being able to go on walks, leave the house, and sleep well...and not feeling like my vagina is falling and will never be the same.. The first few weeks have not been enjoyable...and i was not prepared for how long it would take for me to heal after a traumatic birth.
Thank you for being honest about everything. I think it will be much better when I'm not still healing and feel physically better! And when he transitions to formula so others can feed him sometimes!
Looking forward to things getting better and so thankful my bf is here to care for us ❤❤❤
Wow, so sorry to hear this and really appreciate you guys
One of the main reasons am scared of moving to the states is cuz people don't have support after giving birth
In Ethiopia a mother or a sister, any female family member or if not a neighbour or atleast a hired nanny must be with the mother and baby atleast for 3 months but mostly for 6 months. It's like a little honeymoon with the baby because a lot of people gather around making food for the mother especially till she's strong enough
Moms are not allowed to leave their house for until the christianing day of the baby
I'm glad you shared this because since all my experiences of having my children wasn't like this. I had my first few kids in unhealthy, dysfunctional, sinful situations and the only joy I had was holding and nursing and bathing my babies. Breastfeeding came so natural for me. Perhaps my life was so bad God in His mercy gave me just that. But I don't want to be judgmental to moms who had it hard. I did have the body changes but I was the opposite. I thought all the changes would go away with exercise and skin care, including stretch marks . So by the time reality hit it was too late to be sad about it.
You are so beautiful and strong. Thank you for being 100% transparent with us. Regardless of what you have experienced. I can tell that your an amazing mom 🌸💕
I felt exactly the same what you were describing in this video 🎉 Thank you for your honesty 🙏🏼 I also had to take ibuprofen for breast feeding 🤱 while I was exhausted not being able to sleep due to my son was crying hourly 24/7…. I do feel you ❤
I recall dreaming during my sleep, expecting a baby, I felt shocked and thought it was real and at that view it was hard to imagine in thinking, how am I going to begin with dealing with the needs for babies and how one needs to learn the pattern of breast-feeding... This video at last came to know what you observe that matters for after birth.
As someone who wants to be a great dad and husband, thank you for this
Thank you for talking about this. Motherhood was really hard for me especially because we didn’t have any family in our city & my child would not wean off of my breast for 18 months! Whenever I would say how I missed my old life people would try to guilt me into being a bad mother, but I love my child I just did not like the version of motherhood I was experiencing. She’s almost 2 now & we are in a much better place! It does get better 💜
I relate to this 100 percent. I wanted to run away just to sleep for days on end. It physically hurt not sleeping. Thank God it doesn’t last.
Thank you for your video! It has so much valuable information. I am currently 5 weeks pregnant after a long 4 year journey of TTC and one miscarriage. I look forward to the day I can meet my baby 🥰 thank you again!
It was amazing but incredibly HARD being a mother the first time, it was EASY being a motherthe second time. Yes! It will get better. First time is so difficult. I had the same things you are describing. Lack of sleep makes anybody a sort of monster. It's scary. No, I don't miss the newborn stage. Haha. I loved everything about seeing my precious baby but would not want those first days back. Yes I carry my strech marks. They do get much better with time. My stomach was literally destroyed the first time, now it's almost decent. Yes, laughter is the best medicine. You are such a nice person. 😊 I can't even imagine you angry. Enjoy motherhood! ❤️
I watched this at 40 weeks and thought I heard you, but tomorrow I am 6 weeks postpartum and I really HEAR you. Rewatching this video now was so cathartic, I was sobbing the whole time. Thank you for sharing your experience with the world ❤
I feel this in my soul. The best and worst at the same time, that is the just of it. I switched to mostly pumping too but at like 5 months we figured it out and went back to breastfeeding! Honestly saved my sanity. Best wishes for you and your little one! Mine is nearly a year now,, and it is wild, it just gets better! (and more challenging, in different ways)
I think I would like a video on you explaining the topic of why "suffering is good for the soul"
Our babies are the same age! I related so much with this video. Postpartum is rough, definitely wished I prepared more.
Thank you for Sharing! God willing I will be a wife and mother of healthy happy children soon ❤
Thank you for watching!
Omg this hits home. I gave birth 3 weeks ago this next Tues. I gave up on breastfeeding because baby wouldn't latch & my breasts hurt so much from the milk coming in. I leaked everywhere & the pump was not getting anything out. I also have a 20 month old so I had to care for her too & struggled so much with the pain. I am home alone most of the time so no one could help me.
I feel so depressed about having given up on breastfeeding .... however I also get dmer so letting down milk makes me depressed too. If baby latched it would have helped so much
Cant you get a doula or lactation expert to come in and help. It helped me out w my oldest and w the 3rd who has a reclining chin. Which made feeding very painful for the 2 years I did it for him. For the first I had painful sore ni... for one or 2 mths. Hopefully you'll get it sorted
@@Maderlololohio I wish. I can't afford it. I'm not paid for maternity leave and my job went on furlough due the the economy since a couple months ago.
@@betylaguerrera sorry to hear about it surely some is covered by insurance. Or maybe there are special programmes where you can apply and get the help. A doc or nurse or social worker might be able to get you in touch w it
I'm praying for my own future family and am looking forward to joining the Mama Tribe! Much love and congratulations!
Thank you!! It’s an amazing journey!
Thank you for sharing your experience with us and being vulnerable 🤍🙏🏼🕊
Thank you for sharing this. So true! Everything you said is exactly what I went through. I wish someone would have shared this with me.
I’m currently single. Somehow ended up here. ❤ Thank you for the transparency. Praying for your strength in Jesus in All areas.
Thank you Jasmyne !! Im 20 weeks and I'm just getting the feeling of oh shiiiiiii I'm a MOTHA😂❤
Thank you for being so open an honest! I have never heard any woman say these things and I am very grateful that you are sharing your advice and insights. Me and my husband are trying for a baby and I am researching and learning. I praise God for Christian women like you, who are sharing their story and letting God use them to encourage and educate other women 🙏🤍
I'm a young girl, I'm excited to be married some day and have kids, and you make me trust that it's right even more, and also think of things to discuss with my future man before our baby comes. I appreciate you and this baby content sosososososo much, please please know that. I appreciate it to my soul and back at least four to a billion times. You make me want to be a mom even more, which is comforting, because I used to not want that as a little girl, and now it feels a bit strange every time I think that I DO want to have kids and stay at home, not have a career. You make me more sure of that descision than the literal science of the psychology of women wanting kids.
I appreciate you and this content so much; thank you, Jasmyne.
Hi again beautiful, I hear you on how you felt in postpartum but letting your body rest and surrender to postpartum is key one you surrender to it it feels beautiful in a way - 😊
this was a good lesson, I never knew it would be like this, the honesty is very appreciated
I’m not a parent yet but I’ve been an in-home childcare professional for dozens of families + I have such a love for motherhood + supporting mamas + parents (studying to become a postpartum doula). so, I just want to say “sis, girl, mama, queen, you are doing a good job 👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽!!” I hope you remember that 🫶🏽. your transparency is so beautiful + necessary-thank you for sharing with us. your vulnerability is helping other women be honest, feel seen, + advocate for themselves during the 4th trimester + the world is better because of that-because of you. so happy the journey is enjoyable for you now!! keeping you + rest of the mamas out there + your precious babies lifted up in prayer 🙏🏽.
Not me watching this 3 months pregnant and being scared of giving birth and everything that comes after it🥺😭💀💔
God take wheels 🙏
I appreciate your honesty and openness Sis. Now that I know what to expect, it won't be as scary i guess.
Hello, how is it going ?
This is the most helpful and honest video I’ve seen on postpartum. Thank you for this
Thank you so much for this video like I literally can not thank you enough. I really felt so awful about having rage and psychosis pp and I thought that I was doomed but now I truly see light at the end of the tunnel. It's so relieving to see I am not alone and you and so many other new moms feel exactly the same. It's relieving to see another person who thought they shouldn't ask for help that says ask for it when you need it. It popped up in perfect timing. Thank you ❤️
Thanks for your honesty on this topic it is truly refreshing! Motherhood is unique in a sense where it's probably the most difficult yet the most rewarding. It brings strong emotions on both negative and positive. As a mom of 5, for me, motherhood is one of those things that although it comes with many challenges....its something I would never not want to have....they are blessings I would never want to have.
I never thought for a second motherhood would be easy. I anticipated it would be the hardest thing I do in my life regardless of me being happily married with cool friends & family
So helpful to hear the bit about preparing mentally emotionally for when the baby is HERE, and not just the labor. Needed to hear that. June 23rd is our due date :) thank you for this.
A lot of women and men don’t really understand or get the clarity of how much work it actually takes to care for children. I just gave birth via C-section a month ago and having a one year old with getting a C-section was a very different experience. I had a n emergency C-section with my first so I understood how difficult it was caring for a child but two while in pain with no help at all was difficult. Its more of a mental difficulty. But on the other hand seeing how fast time seemed to go with my first makes me appreciate everything. Take it one day at a time especially if you have no help. Even though I’m married my husband works.
Thank you for sharing your story! You are inspiring.
This video was so clear and easy to emphasize with! Thank you so much. As someone who always feels baby fever, my fever began to temporarily subside after watching this. Really enjoying my life now… knowing that it won’t always be here.