Women got happy if their personal needs are important to their man. And he give her her privste life. Its like women always got the familys intrests in first place and dont care about her own intrestes. When they had as good luck thst time, they naturally try their luck. Even if its just charity act. Be yourself. What sbout the men,... Like i said.
I yelled at my ex-gf many moons ago for crying during some Romance movie and just ice cold watching Saving Private Ryan. She just laughed at me too. Its like lucifers soul is the puppet master of all women. lol
In my youth, I saw the movie "Burn After Reading" with my mother. She thought it was a great movie. I hated it! The female lead got what she wanted and the three men who loved her DIED!
@@danielkelley7548 What.... Lolo! Ya think do ya? Lolo! Insulted everyone BUT the king & MOST DEFINITELY beheaded or tortured if mocked the ruler. 🤦♀️😒
@@autonomous8108 the dyke had a sense of humor, she surprisingly made me laugh, and then her reaction to the roast, she definitely has a good sense of humor.
The amount of times most women NEED to be taken out, restaurant's, movies etc etc. It's insane how unhappy they are unless you treat them like your own child. Can't go anywhere without em or their spite builds and builds with secret contempt for you
Bill Burr is every middle aged man I worked with, no matter the race 😂 Those smoke breaks use to have me dying of laughter but they were so damn serious talking they shit
@@americandissident9062 Men are complex and incredibly so, But we recognize and utilize the simplicity to make life so much more. Especially not making the same mistakes over and over and placing blame elsewhere, Simply does not cut it. It is the woe of man who are simple, simply crazy, simply emotional and simply delusional. Extremely egotistical if the man lets them, to all else around them Almost all chess players and go players are men, We like women who simply know when to shut up and speak up. when necessary.. Simply put if they add to our lives we can love and adore them, then construct something more complex, if not simply go away.
That "most difficult job on the planet" bit really had me rolling! That's how my ex described it when she was home with the kids for the first 5 years. She got to the point where it was "just too much for her"and we switched. When she left to live with another guy 6 years later, she's telling everyone that she gave me "the EASIEST job on the planet" 🤣🤣🤣
So, by their own admission when it's a mom, it's the Hardest job. When it's a dad, it's the easiest job. Is that like admitting that dad's are better at something???🤣🤣🤣
@@mouche621621 you clearly haven't been around kids much... yes, the waking up crying in the middle of the night part is rough. but entertaining a 6 year old is surely not easier. with the occaisonal emotional fits, aggression, crying, egotrips etc... having a verbal argument with a kid that doesn't undersrand half of what either party is saying but is still convinced that he/she is right... totally easy... you raise your kids from 5 on, before that it's mostly feeding and the first steps, all the emotional work comes after that. in addiditon to running after them, driving them around, clean loads of clothes etc. it get's easier after 10 till puperty(that's a 50/50, so where are the easy years?^^
@@MSRooky350z That's so sad. I have kids. If your 6 year old "doesn't understand half" of what you're saying and is not able to entertain himself something is wrong. He should grab a book if bored, and you should have amazing conversations together, way more often than you end up running after him. I hope it'll get better.
Both of them were the silent power behind the man. Barbara in particular. Neither woman embarrassed or shamed or tried to upstage thier husband. Both extremely kind and well spoken. Had the art of conversation to keep a bunch of college kids entertained while husband made rounds to give everyone face time. They knew how to be 1st ladies.
@@colonelangus75I’m confused…I have been told it is the kitchen since childhood! Have I been lied to for 2 decades and a handful of years, give or take another handful of years…, OR is it both?!? But to give myself a smidge of credit, (if that’s ok?🥺) I know that it sure as hell ain’t the boardroom! (Whatever that is…🧐)
And some women calls him Val Kilmer while half of his face is cut in half? She gives a specific min sec of the moment went to time stamp she stated and there's nothing Val Kilmer in this video where half of his face was there, I see Opie Taylor never Val Kilmer???
As a Brit, Bill Burr is new to me, but I identify with almost everything he says. He´s hilarious and now my new favourite comedian after the sad passing of our own Sean Lock.
Gotta love billy. He’s not referring to all women either just the worst of the bunch. Lowkey a lot of women have realized their hypocritical ways and I respect it fully.
Nah I for sure know the type of bitches Bill is talking about 😂 I had a former friend that acted like an overbearing girlfriend. If I didn’t hang out, it meant (to her) that I was mad at her. Insane.
@@zarifshoeb Because women are generally the ones who like to get their man to dress up smart with them and go do fancy things. The woman laughed very hard at that joke because it was true about them.
Because women like to dress up whereas the vast majority of us men dgaf about that🤷♂️
4 месяца назад+6
If you don't dress up, you're going to be making her look bad, to her friends who all made their boyfriends dress up. Plus, she's going to be looking at those fancy men, and she knows it.
@bell191991 Wouldn't date/marry a woman who thinks clothes make the man(or woman). I can just look at a woman i.e., false eyelashes/fake hair extensions/painted fingernails etc and just know. Nope. Notta me!! Wish them well, but no🤷♂️
A few years ago I became a widow after several decades of marriage. A friend moved in for almost a year, and I got a whole new perspective. First, she expected that we would do everything together. My husband sure never expected that and I have to have my me time. Then I found out that I could not tell her when I was taking a day off or she would plan things for me to do. Finally, I realized I have to get a divorce. I regret that we are no longer friends, but it really opened my eyes about how we ladies can be.
@lowlypop - I think he was asking because you have left the exact same comment over and over again throughout this comment section, which make you come across as a bit odd. And the “who is asking and why are you making assumptions” comment makes you come across as extremely psychotic. Hope that clarifies things for ya.
@@1597B traditionally, red headed folks are pretty fair skinned and sunburn easily. As a red headed landscaper myself, I can attest to the fact that working outdoors has its challenges. But at least I can find some shade on hot sunny days. On a roof there’s no place to hide!
its like an oven, specifically designed for your skin type and genes. that roast you quicker and deeper then anyone around you at the time.. most likely
When I am looking for something and can't find because she has a better place to put it. I look for it for 3 minutes. Because I remember where I bought it. Eventually she will run out of good places to put it. When she asks "Can get can a have a 20 for gas?" No spent it on that thing I could not find..
Good comedy will always remain so! I think you'd like my comedy playlist. Whenever I re-watch it, it's just as funny as the first time I watched it! :D
Bills funny takes, thoughts, and ideas are based on reality. His humorous take on things can be therapy for us all to consider and contemplate. He truly is an entertaining and hilarious artist.
2:10 Burr was decades ahead on this. Him and Chappelle are the only comedians to predict the future with their jokes consistently. Not talk about things that will always be relevant, but actually predict things about society
Don't even know who that actress is, but man she seems a self-aggrandizing type... And then she burst out in the fakest laugh ever at Bill's 'joke' (actually a pretty accurate observation) to cover the humiliation of being put in her place.
I knew how great Bill B is as comedian when I kept falling off my sofa laughing uncontrollably and understanding the valid points he was making- all at the same time. 😂
He’s so right about women randomly wanting to fill your free time in with a bunch of bs. I could be fixing random things in the house or doing chores and my ex wouldn’t bother me all day, it wasn’t until I was finally done and ready to relax and she’d hear the “BEEP” on the PlayStation and then all the sudden wants to bother me about something stupid like the sound of the beep lit her ears on fire or something
Love this! If I dare take a nap one day because I'm tired from busting my ass, my wife immediately gets some idea about things I or we could do. Didn't come up hours before, but usually just as I doze off.
Right my ex would start complaining that I wasn't spending enough time with her even after talking and listening to her for hours. I'd have my headphones on and she would be tapping my shoulder and still trying to talk to me with the volume all the way up lmao😂😂
@@brandonh.6956we would ve arguing everyday. I'd tell her you are not getting every second of my free time. Get a friend or something is what I'd have said.
My sister can have the TV & radio blaring whilst reading posts on FB & talking to her friend ALL AT THE SAME TIME, but then she remembers nothing 15 minutes later..
Burr and Chappelle are the voices of our generation,.. Beyond the laughs is a wisdom that we all can appreciate. Most of the time they are saying things that we can no longer say ourselves, Laughable and Lamentable at the same time. Only the masters can pull it off. Robin Williams and Richard Prior could do it too.
Most underrated? He sells out theaters. He’s properly rated. But then again Amy Shumer and Kevin Hart sell out arenas and Bill is twice as funny as them combined
Exactly. So much more talented but others much less talented as you mentioned seem to get more main stream notoriety. That's fast changing though and well earned on his part.
I saw him two summers ago at a sold out show in Queens. He was incredible. My stomache and face hurt from all the laughing, and I almost never go to comedy shows
I think Billy Gardell once said something like "we say nothing because what we're really thinking about is something so insanely stupid that hearing it out loud could make you're brain short circuit so we just keep it to ourselves. You're welcome."
absolutely agree. he's not my all time fav but if anybody told me he was even THE greatest in their opinion, I would respect the hell out of it and could offer no valid argument to the contrary.
Bill is my GOAT. I love all the greats and I'm a comedian, at heart. It's why so many people have invited me to their weddings. They know I'll keep the crowd entertained. It's a little spooky how similar we speak. He's an animal, though. Absolute pisser, every time. You know how you can't pick your favorite band's best song? That's how I feel about Bill's rants. I can't pick one. That's a true professional and I'll be a fan for all time. Maybe someday I'll get on stage and test my chops. For right now, I'm a plumber. Thank you, Bill, for speaking the truth ❤
@@jaimhaas5170 These men were raised in a world of Wonder Bread, and Lite Beer. They were lied to their whole lives, so they never knew you could possibly say, "I don't enjoy your company anymore, pack your shit and go back to your mother, you are making my life unenjoyable and it is not worth being around you anymore". Beat it.
I love the fact that women and men are different, otherwise it would be very boring. And then, there's two different kind of people, the nice ones and the others.
This man has become my inner voice. I’ve watched every special, every late night show appearances, and countless of hours of his podcast. It’s a blessing to have him drop a new pod episode twice a week every week!!
Agreed. They’re both excellent though. Chappelle is just in another league though. Only one I’ve seen in Chappelle’s league was Patrice O’Neal. Burr’s got game though.
Bill is spot on. I could sit in front of the tv, make my favorite meal, and be happy and content as hell just watching a movie while eating. It truly is a time to just shut the brain off and just CHILL.
Yep!! I love that simple luxury too. Traded my ex-husband for 2 pit bulls, never looked back.Best deal ever!!! I willNEVER cohabitate again😂😂😂 I love being with my dogs. ❤ kicked people to the curb now 3 peop L e have access to me. Sweet relief!!! I require a LOT of solitude❤❤
The funny thing with Bill's jokes about women is that you can actually tell he's been through all those situations himself. It's a masterful combination of humor and frustration as he tells those jokes, love it 🙂
I’m a stay at home mom who homeschools 3 kids and have another on the way. Definitely definitely NOT the hardest job in the world LOL. And I’m not being sarcastic at all. Life is awesome.
Just because you enjoy doing it, that doesn't mean it's not difficult. The outcome is arguably more important than most careers, as well (raising the future population).
I have to say I enjoyed watching college football with my daughter as she got older. When she would complain about a bad call or cheer after a score. I loved that.
When Lea threw herself into the chair with laughter on Conan was the best part of the video. Seeing everyone all laugh together was really awesome. And that's the way comedy should all be folks.
@Mark Knapp Lea only did that because the audience laughed at Bill's retort, so she had to laugh in order to save face. She is an obnoxious, abrasive person.
Speaking of motherhood being the most difficult job, my older sister once told me, "I wished I could have learned how to cook like you, but you know, I was too busy raising three kids.". My reply: "you mean like our mother, grandmother and aunts, plus the million of women before? What a joke.
4 месяца назад
Occupying your top level comment to inform everybody that this video really is 240p in 2024. It shows the option for 1080p60fps, but that's just more bandwidth to show you the same poor quality. Try it, there's no difference above 240p.
0:45 This is so true. My ex would spend hours in chick shops and these places have no where to sit so I’d literally sit in the middle of those circular stands. I didn’t realize this was so common for men until I heard a comic mention the same thing in a joke and I lost it so hard in front of my chick. She just stared at me with the meanest face ever while semi chuckling because she knew it was true, lol.
What Bill meant is that women are jealous of how contented a man can be without needing everything in his life to be perfect - but he delivered it in a way that wouldn't upset his wife.
His wife is too busy being upset that he's content watching football, eating pizza and drinking beer to be upset at how he described the simple minded man
My wife can turn on cartoons for our son and give him a snack before dinner and go do whatever she wants to. However, if I were to do that she’d say he watch’s too much TV and he’ll spoil his apatite if you give him food before dinner.
My first mistake watching Bill Burr was eating a sandwich!! I thought I was going to choke to death. I've since learned my lesson.😂😂😂 This guy is brilliant!!
This dude is my therapist, life coach, motivational speaker all in one.
Same here man....nice to have a heavy hitter out there batting for us dudes...
your dick is a motivational speaker
:DDD
Hell yeah! Same with George Carlin
@@TheFloatingHouse woh brother lol...George Carlin is even more hard core....carland is a lagend lol
On babys💯💯
"You know what makes women happy? NOTHING!" Truer words have never been spoken! Thanks Bill!
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Women are never satisfied. All they do is complain but they won't leave. It's a pain in the ass to get rid of them.
Women got happy if their personal needs are important to their man. And he give her her privste life. Its like women always got the familys intrests in first place and dont care about her own intrestes. When they had as good luck thst time, they naturally try their luck. Even if its just charity act. Be yourself. What sbout the men,... Like i said.
No wonder. Man cant accept nehative critic.
Man cant accept negative critics.
> Women: Titanic was so romantic
> Bill: Titanic was a horror movie. all the men died.
This is just hilarious. I love it.
I yelled at my ex-gf many moons ago for crying during some Romance movie and just ice cold watching Saving Private Ryan. She just laughed at me too. Its like lucifers soul is the puppet master of all women. lol
@@Phaze-rb3mp Lucifer is the bringer of light. maybe it's through chaos.. lol
@@Phaze-rb3mpthey're a bunch of nightwalkers the whole lot of them
Love it 😅😅😅😅
In my youth, I saw the movie "Burn After Reading" with my mother. She thought it was a great movie. I hated it! The female lead got what she wanted and the three men who loved her DIED!
I love how Bill Burr can be so funny while spitting facts. Top of my comedian list by far.
Every society needs a man like Bill Burr to point out the absurdities in our lives.
The Greeks had diogenes
The Chinese have ai weiwei
The Roman's had one on every street corner.
We have bill burr and Dave chappelle
Comedians job
He really is fantastic.
He is a very powerful comedian.
@@Banana_SlammaWe could probably stand to add to this short list the late, great George Carlin. Maybe even Samuel Clemens, way back when.
I feel like he’s not even trying to be funny he’s just speaking from the heart in a humorous tone
Right!? Time to start taking from behind and give up on his poor life choices in women 😂😂😂😂😂
That’s just charisma and confidence 👌🏻
This is why, historically, the Court Jester was the only person in the kingdom who could insult the King and not die.
@@danielkelley7548 What.... Lolo! Ya think do ya? Lolo!
Insulted everyone BUT the king & MOST DEFINITELY beheaded or tortured if mocked the ruler. 🤦♀️😒
Actually, I think that's true a lot with him. And I think that makes him great (that plus being hilarious), much like Lewis Black.
That "can you believe that marriage didn't work out?" line is one of my favorite Bill Burr moments LMAO absolute savage
Mans didn't hesitate either! 🤣
That was the best...and he zoned in straight away on that Dyke aggressive personality 💀🤣
gotta give her credit for laughing & not getting all upset like most would lol
@@josh903x for real, that was great too. It made the joke that much better cuz even she couldn't help but appreciate the savagery
@@autonomous8108 the dyke had a sense of humor, she surprisingly made me laugh, and then her reaction to the roast, she definitely has a good sense of humor.
As a millennial woman yes yes yes yes yes and yes 😂 all facts !!!! I love bill so much
“Oprah’s not even a mother. How the fuck would she know?”
Kills me everytime.
I think she was raped and had to get an abortion or had a stillborn. ☹️👎 not really his place to say this dumb stuff!
@Ugandan Special Forces 🤣🤣Paris huh?
I love that jab. No one's off the table ;-)
Even funnier when you realize that her dad was an actual coal miner.
She had a baby that died but still hilarious😭
Back in 2003 my dad told me one of the biggest lessons of my life : "you are trying to mix women and logic. You can't do that."
Wow😮 💯 Salute.
Your father was indeed a wise man.
....and.....always lie
A very astute observation 😂😂😂
Your dad must of been married Before 🤣😂🤣😂😙
“Why would you wanna sleep in on a Sunday when you can go pay $18 for eggs?” 😂
The amount of times most women NEED to be taken out, restaurant's, movies etc etc. It's insane how unhappy they are unless you treat them like your own child.
Can't go anywhere without em or their spite builds and builds with secret contempt for you
@@mandelorean6243 FACT
$36 now in my city and $56 if you get a drink. Then there's an automatic 22% gratuity applied.
@@mandelorean6243 that's sad. I hope you find a woman who's a friend first & foremost: someone who likes you for you. And who you like, too ...
They love being seen, lol. Peaceful sleep is where it's at, woman go run the streets and pay for your own eggs.
The women in the audience thinks he is joking. No, he’s telling the truth
everything they want to do,we don't.
Oh no, they know he's serious. They respect him for telling the truth. Women secretly want a man to do that, but act like they don't.
@@camillebrenes your a minority of women that think that
@@camillebrenesI wouldn't try that with a gf or a wife, not without a damned good lawyer...
That's why he's not funny. He believes his own BS. There is a reason much of his fanbase coincides w Rogan. 🤷🏻♀️
Bill Burr is every middle aged man I worked with, no matter the race 😂
Those smoke breaks use to have me dying of laughter but they were so damn serious talking they shit
Yeah Me too haha, I have great memories of some outlandish conversations, great times.
Hell ya dude
just wait.... ull see its all true
At 41, I just came an "old head", or someone in between, at those work smoke breaks lol. Talking shit.
its built up frustration...they gotta vent or theyre gonna blow up
Best line ever "Women are jealous of how simple the male brain is..." 😊😂
It’s a good joke, and I do get it. But the idea that men are simple is exactly how women get away with psychological and emotional abuse.
@@americandissident9062 Men are complex and incredibly so, But we recognize and utilize the simplicity to make life so much more.
Especially not making the same mistakes over and over and placing blame elsewhere, Simply does not cut it.
It is the woe of man who are simple, simply crazy, simply emotional and simply delusional. Extremely egotistical if the man lets them, to all else around them
Almost all chess players and go players are men,
We like women who simply know when to shut up and speak up. when necessary..
Simply put if they add to our lives we can love and adore them, then construct something more complex, if not simply go away.
@@americandissident9062 A "simple" brain is not necessarily a bad thing.
As Leonardo Da Vinci said "Simplicity is the ultimate sophistication."
I am...... I am m not kidding
I felt so seen 😅
“…like a couple of birds fightin’ over a french fry”. 🤣🤣🤣🤣
Ah, that part.
Clear proof that comedy is honesty, just like therapy..
“You know what makes a woman happy?” NOTHING!
Kills me every time.
Not true... two things make me very happy 😅😅
@@Lisa-tk7ku8dr4k Let me guess...No and Thing
@@Lisa-tk7ku8dr4k what would that be
@@Lisa-tk7ku8dr4kwhat are those things
Something’s but only for a short time
That "most difficult job on the planet" bit really had me rolling!
That's how my ex described it when she was home with the kids for the first 5 years. She got to the point where it was "just too much for her"and we switched.
When she left to live with another guy 6 years later, she's telling everyone that she gave me "the EASIEST job on the planet" 🤣🤣🤣
So, by their own admission when it's a mom, it's the Hardest job.
When it's a dad, it's the easiest job.
Is that like admitting that dad's are better at something???🤣🤣🤣
double standards
To be fair the first five years are the tought part. After that kids are basically grown ups.
@@mouche621621 you clearly haven't been around kids much... yes, the waking up crying in the middle of the night part is rough. but entertaining a 6 year old is surely not easier. with the occaisonal emotional fits, aggression, crying, egotrips etc... having a verbal argument with a kid that doesn't undersrand half of what either party is saying but is still convinced that he/she is right... totally easy... you raise your kids from 5 on, before that it's mostly feeding and the first steps, all the emotional work comes after that. in addiditon to running after them, driving them around, clean loads of clothes etc. it get's easier after 10 till puperty(that's a 50/50, so where are the easy years?^^
@@MSRooky350z That's so sad. I have kids. If your 6 year old "doesn't understand half" of what you're saying and is not able to entertain himself something is wrong. He should grab a book if bored, and you should have amazing conversations together, way more often than you end up running after him. I hope it'll get better.
I don’t think a comedian besides Dave Chapelle has made me laugh so hard and so consistent as bill. 🤣🤣 absolute legends I love those guys
Patrice O'neal would
Carlin was great.
@@juliof970 Bill was better than those three.
Louie CK is in Bill and Dave's league, imho.
@@juliof970 yeah, George Carlin was amazing! Nice to see a person of good taste!
Al Bundy:
"Son, never try to understand women. Women understand women, and they all hate each other."
“That’s why they can’t be happy…” 😂😂😂😂😂😂I felt that
"Gotta give it to the Bushes, they kept their wives in line."
I died 😂😂
they knew their roles besides, the bush men were oil men like JR
@@joeclayton2121 And like JR's daddy once said: "A woman's place is in the bedroom, it sure as hell ain't in the boardroom!"
Both of them were the silent power behind the man. Barbara in particular. Neither woman embarrassed or shamed or tried to upstage thier husband.
Both extremely kind and well spoken. Had the art of conversation to keep a bunch of college kids entertained while husband made rounds to give everyone face time. They knew how to be 1st ladies.
@@colonelangus75I’m confused…I have been told it is the kitchen since childhood! Have I been lied to for 2 decades and a handful of years, give or take another handful of years…, OR is it both?!?
But to give myself a smidge of credit, (if that’s ok?🥺) I know that it sure as hell ain’t the boardroom! (Whatever that is…🧐)
Lmmfaoooooo
This man is a national treasure and must be protected at all cost.
@FortyFirst Millennial protected from the feminist trying to cancel him.
too late. he married one.
Protected from what exactly?
@@VengefulPolititron I love him more now.
Protected from what?
🤣
Where has Bill Burr been all my life!! He’s amazing!!! Today is a great day because I now know he exists!! He’s hilarious!!!🤣🤣🤣
And some women calls him Val Kilmer while half of his face is cut in half? She gives a specific min sec of the moment went to time stamp she stated and there's nothing Val Kilmer in this video where half of his face was there, I see Opie Taylor never Val Kilmer???
As a Brit, Bill Burr is new to me, but I identify with almost everything he says. He´s hilarious and now my new favourite comedian after the sad passing of our own Sean Lock.
Sean Lock
Welcome to Bill, Brit.
Sean "I'm on the fence about hitler" Lock 🤣🤣 I still watch as much of his content as I can.
You Brits must be really old to find Bill new. No wonder your comedians are passing.
From a brit.. The best comedian stateside.. For sure!
Gotta love billy. He’s not referring to all women either just the worst of the bunch. Lowkey a lot of women have realized their hypocritical ways and I respect it fully.
Well no shit it’s not all of em. Ya think people got time to say “not all of them” every time they talk about a group?
@Samuel ..Not Sum-All of Them!!!
Hvn said that lemme add..
Best of luck on this journey 😂😂
@@MaztRPwn damn you’re so intelligent bro my bad I’ll do better
He tells the truth.
Nah I for sure know the type of bitches Bill is talking about 😂 I had a former friend that acted like an overbearing girlfriend. If I didn’t hang out, it meant (to her) that I was mad at her. Insane.
I love it that the woman on Conan laughed hysterically at him. She didn't get butt hurt- she saw the humor. This was a great 20 minutes of hilarity.
It was a woman?!
Because you'd ruin her reputation if she didn't.
@@pluckybellhop66 I don't even know her, how could I ruin her reputation?
@@ВладимирКруглов-к9о It was a tough one to determine, because she didn't look much like one, but there were clues that led me to that deduction.
@@pluckybellhop66spot the psycho
Never get tired of Bill Burr
Ah, right
The reactions to the tuxedo joke at 4:35 show that he understands women. That one absolutely killed with the women in the audience 😂
I don’t understand it. Can you please explain it ?
@@zarifshoeb
Because women are generally the ones who like to get their man to dress up smart with them and go do fancy things.
The woman laughed very hard at that joke because it was true about them.
Because women like to dress up whereas the vast majority of us men dgaf about that🤷♂️
If you don't dress up, you're going to be making her look bad, to her friends who all made their boyfriends dress up.
Plus, she's going to be looking at those fancy men, and she knows it.
@bell191991 Wouldn't date/marry a woman who thinks clothes make the man(or woman). I can just look at a woman i.e., false eyelashes/fake hair extensions/painted fingernails etc and just know. Nope. Notta me!! Wish them well, but no🤷♂️
"Can you believe that marriage didn't work out?!" 🤣🤣
I was looking for this comment. That bit had me dying 🤣
Yeah Kim Jung Un failed in a marriage, who would have guessed 🤣🤣
I would've just said no and looked away. You don't ask me to do anything the way she did.
@@Tdawg93a but then you would've missed the opportunity to expose her for the fraud she is!
@@rokaine7334 how would you use that opportunity?
I am a female and I agree with everything he has said. He’s hilarious. It’s way more true than not true.
You agree with Bill? Honey they need to clone you.
You're about to get a lot of guys wanting to marry you honey,but much love haha
You wanna make some sandwiches and go to the park?
You one of the few 😍
Same. He’s absolutely spot on.
A few years ago I became a widow after several decades of marriage. A friend moved in for almost a year, and I got a whole new perspective. First, she expected that we would do everything together. My husband sure never expected that and I have to have my me time. Then I found out that I could not tell her when I was taking a day off or she would plan things for me to do.
Finally, I realized I have to get a divorce.
I regret that we are no longer friends, but it really opened my eyes about how we ladies can be.
“Just because you’re f*ckin the plumber doesn’t mean you know how to plumb” 😂😂
"Just because you're fucking the plumber doesn't mean you're the fucking plumber!" It's right there!
This isn't even shitting on women, he's just telling the truth in sarcastic funny ways..
@low beam You good bro?
Most comedians do the same thing its just popular these days to be part of the cancel culture.
@lowlypop - I think he was asking because you have left the exact same comment over and over again throughout this comment section, which make you come across as a bit odd. And the “who is asking and why are you making assumptions” comment makes you come across as extremely psychotic. Hope that clarifies things for ya.
Women disagree. Anything that suits their insipid ideology of indecisiveness, and their lack of reason and accountability.
@lowlypop cause ur spamming some weird shit LOL
“ I thought roofing in July as a redhead was tough” had me rolling!
as a redhead… i approve this true and factual observation … worst job for a redhead ever
Could you folks break that one down for me? I don't quite understand the joke enough.
@@1597B traditionally, red headed folks are pretty fair skinned and sunburn easily. As a red headed landscaper myself, I can attest to the fact that working outdoors has its challenges. But at least I can find some shade on hot sunny days. On a roof there’s no place to hide!
@@VinnieRed71 Alright, now it makes sense. It's like working in an oven.
its like an oven, specifically designed for your skin type and genes. that roast you quicker and deeper then anyone around you at the time.. most likely
I have a female friend who's bisexual. She says women are WAY more emotional work than men.
Geez, no shit -?!?
Thanks captain obvious. Your friend had to start dating girls to figure that out is concerning.
That's cause Men are physical, we fuck and fall asleep. End of problem. your happy and I'm asleep perfection achieved.
@@xrpkidotec520😂
My ex would always bitch about not getting enough attention from his family and friends…I might as well have been with a woman. 😁
This man shares so much wisdom packaged in peak humor, absolutely incredible
When I am looking for something and can't find because she has a better place to put it. I look for it for 3 minutes.
Because I remember where I bought it. Eventually she will run out of good places to put it.
When she asks "Can get can a have a 20 for gas?" No spent it on that thing I could not find..
If he was covered in EVOO, he would make a great enema for an elephant.
Incredible all right 😅😅😅😅😅
No matter how many times I hear these routines, they never get old! Timeless humour.
Good comedy will always remain so! I think you'd like my comedy playlist. Whenever I re-watch it, it's just as funny as the first time I watched it! :D
I'm a woman but I found myself nodding along over & over.
it's gonna fuckin rust
🤣🤣🤣
There’s hope for ya
Shut up
Make sure you give the balls some attention too
The greatest comedian I have ever seen. His delivery is astounding.
Best of all time.
Bills funny takes, thoughts, and ideas are based on reality.
His humorous take on things can be therapy for us all to consider and contemplate.
He truly is an entertaining and hilarious artist.
Bill really shows how absurd society really is.
cant be more true than that, hes a real man.
And Dave Chappelle.
Its jokes Dude
@@clintfischer1057 yes but every joke has a truth.
@@mackcummy4976 yes. so lets base our understanding of society on them, shall we ?
George Carlin, Dave Chapelle, Bill Hicks, Richard Pryor, and Bill Burr are all in my pantheon of great social commentary comedians.
And Patrice Oneal
@@HusseinAwjamacosign Patrice O'Neal, Ron White is another favorite.
I would just add Ricky Gervais but yes 💯
Jay Hickman and Ollie Joe prayter were great but died in the 90’s. Sad, they would have really been great if they lived another 10 years or so
Larry the cable guy was one of the best of all times and has the money to prove it. He wasn’t dirty either. It’s hard to be great and not dirty
2:10 Burr was decades ahead on this. Him and Chappelle are the only comedians to predict the future with their jokes consistently. Not talk about things that will always be relevant, but actually predict things about society
What about Bill Hicks, George Carlin & Anthony Jeselnik?
@@JacobVanstanTried Jessenik, can't watch him, comes over as sociopathic, can't find the funny in that
“Hey Conan, can you believe that marriage didn’t work out?”
That’s probably my favorite.
Don't even know who that actress is, but man she seems a self-aggrandizing type... And then she burst out in the fakest laugh ever at Bill's 'joke' (actually a pretty accurate observation) to cover the humiliation of being put in her place.
@@GFSagredoshe plays an agressive lesbian in "Orange is the new Black",it was a flash in the pan hit show back then.
@@ZesPakS1 is good, I've hit S2 and it's boring atm
@GFSagredo Bit ott but she liked Bill I think
Bill is the Eminem of comedians. A heckler would have to be off their meds to mess with him.
He does get them from time to time but he roasts them so hard they shit their pants and leave in shame.
you should look up his Philly or Pittsburgh show.
He straight up toasted the audience for his whole entire show because they heckled his opening acts
Except eminem has been trash the last decade
lol dumb comparison
Eminem does what he’s told by his handlers.
Total sell out
“Any job you can do in pajama’s is not a difficult job!” 😂🤣😂🤣
😅😅😅😅ha ha haaaaaaa
Remote working had something to say about that.
I knew how great Bill B is as comedian when I kept falling off my sofa laughing uncontrollably and understanding the valid points he was making- all at the same time. 😂
Bill Burr is one of the funniest humans I've ever heard. He tells the truth from an angle most of us don't see.
Don't want to acknowledge
Have you seen the recent Red Rock special. So funny!!!
You could say funniest man. No women are funny lmao.
@@theortheo2401
Actually, my wife is pretty funny, especially when she's making fun of me.
You mean most of them don't see😯
He’s so right about women randomly wanting to fill your free time in with a bunch of bs. I could be fixing random things in the house or doing chores and my ex wouldn’t bother me all day, it wasn’t until I was finally done and ready to relax and she’d hear the “BEEP” on the PlayStation and then all the sudden wants to bother me about something stupid like the sound of the beep lit her ears on fire or something
Love this! If I dare take a nap one day because I'm tired from busting my ass, my wife immediately gets some idea about things I or we could do. Didn't come up hours before, but usually just as I doze off.
i means its nice that they wanna do things with us and spend time but theyve got no sympathy for exhaustion. until its their own of course
😂💯
Right my ex would start complaining that I wasn't spending enough time with her even after talking and listening to her for hours. I'd have my headphones on and she would be tapping my shoulder and still trying to talk to me with the volume all the way up lmao😂😂
@@brandonh.6956we would ve arguing everyday. I'd tell her you are not getting every second of my free time. Get a friend or something is what I'd have said.
Woman here and I agree with Bill with everything he says about women!! I laugh so hard my tummy hurts 🤣🤣🤣
😂 your where laughing cuz he was talking about you! Hehe
I’m a woman and I find it hilarious too!
@@ModernGoddess81 because he portrays y'all in good light. isn't that right? y'all wouldn't be laughing otherwise
I truly envy your boyfriend or husband because you're the type of women that normal, balanced men want.
My sister can have the TV & radio blaring whilst reading posts on FB & talking to her friend ALL AT THE SAME TIME, but then she remembers nothing 15 minutes later..
I just discovered this guy --OMG! This is hilarious!!!!
Genius. A free mind playing with reality and saying what we all wish we'd said. Hats off to the man.
4:26 Everyone who's seen _Titanic_ remembers that guy who fell and smacked the railing on his way down.
Propeller
I laughed so hard and got so many dirty looks for it
Wasn't it the ship's propeller?
@@G31M1 There was a couple but i think the bit hes refering to was when the ship tipps up at the back the ppl start flying down the deck
😪
My dad gave me these wise words
Never wake a sleeping woman because then she'll be awake.
lol true my man needs some time alone
This is how I treated my mother growing up. Cause if she woke up she'd just tell me off for being happy.
you're dad sounds like he didn't need to be with a woman.
Smart guy. I had to learn it the hard way but once you know. Oh boy do you know
Don't poke the dragon..
My father told me “if it has tits or tires you’re gonna have problems”…
No, they are like pedigree horses, poetry in motion and lots of health issues.
This guys been on my radar since 2004. It’s great to see him rise to power
🍪
@@adangarza7332 🤣
You shut your mouth Jerry.
Burr and Chappelle are the voices of our generation,.. Beyond the laughs is a wisdom that we all can appreciate. Most of the time they are saying things that we can no longer say ourselves, Laughable and Lamentable at the same time. Only the masters can pull it off. Robin Williams and Richard Prior could do it too.
Maybe you can't, simp boy.
Barbara bush was drunk😂😂
Hilarious, I related right away when he said you can't have a day off, they will fill it. So unbelievably true
You DO NOT let them dictate your days off. Full stop!
I love when he does the 'woman voice' 😂
“Like two birds fighting over a French fry.” Lmao.
Most talented yet underrated comic. One of my favorites. Thank you Bill!!!
Most underrated? He sells out theaters. He’s properly rated. But then again Amy Shumer and Kevin Hart sell out arenas and Bill is twice as funny as them combined
Exactly. So much more talented but others much less talented as you mentioned seem to get more main stream notoriety. That's fast changing though and well earned on his part.
I saw him two summers ago at a sold out show in Queens. He was incredible. My stomache and face hurt from all the laughing, and I almost never go to comedy shows
My wife is always asking me what I'm thinking about and when I say nothing she won't believe me, but it's true a lot of the time, lol.
Why do they do that???
Even if you are thinking about something, it's something stupid, like "I wonder how hard it would be to convert my car to jet engine power..."
@@fryncyaryorvjink2140 “What if I just started living in the woods tomorrow? How long would I last?”
I think Billy Gardell once said something like "we say nothing because what we're really thinking about is something so insanely stupid that hearing it out loud could make you're brain short circuit so we just keep it to ourselves. You're welcome."
My wife would hate to hear what I'm thinking about....luckily she has never asked that. Quite frankly, I don't think she's remotely interested.
I’m a woman and I’m watching this, laughing so hard, I’m. Crying !!!! 😆🤣
This guy is one of the all time greats
Word!
absolutely agree. he's not my all time fav but if anybody told me he was even THE greatest in their opinion, I would respect the hell out of it and could offer no valid argument to the contrary.
Bill Burr is a breath of fresh air.
I've finally found a reason to live. Thanks Bill. I'm not insane after all.
you're probably an incel though and Bill is not
@@gb342002 What’s that? You can’t offend me if I don’t get the insult?
And the brainwashed will be considered sane.
@@mikelindellspillow2609 and the offended will be lie and say they aren't. Lol
If listening to Bill Burr gets you to think: “gee, maybe I’m not crazy”, I have some bad news for you….
Bill is my GOAT. I love all the greats and I'm a comedian, at heart. It's why so many people have invited me to their weddings. They know I'll keep the crowd entertained. It's a little spooky how similar we speak. He's an animal, though. Absolute pisser, every time. You know how you can't pick your favorite band's best song? That's how I feel about Bill's rants. I can't pick one. That's a true professional and I'll be a fan for all time. Maybe someday I'll get on stage and test my chops. For right now, I'm a plumber. Thank you, Bill, for speaking the truth ❤
Thankyou. This is such antidote . People are actually AFRAID TO LAUGH.
I wish there were more men like bill.
They're all like Bill, but their wives own their balls.
Woke feminism has neutered them.
@@jaimhaas5170 These men were raised in a world of Wonder Bread, and Lite Beer. They were lied to their whole lives, so they never knew you could possibly say, "I don't enjoy your company anymore, pack your shit and go back to your mother, you are making my life unenjoyable and it is not worth being around you anymore". Beat it.
@jaim haas
Ew.
Wow, so misogynistic jerks?
Wife and me
No friend
No facebook
No normal life
Just a GREAT life ❤
F@&$ social life
One life ! No time for bullshito
Great video ❤
I love the fact that women and men are different, otherwise it would be very boring. And then, there's two different kind of people, the nice ones and the others.
So true😂 it's hilarious we have differences
This man has become my inner voice. I’ve watched every special, every late night show appearances, and countless of hours of his podcast. It’s a blessing to have him drop a new pod episode twice a week every week!!
As a woman, I approve this message
Who asked?
@@open_cktyou did now
Nobody cares
Go away woman, where is my sandwich
@@bustamango863 every single one of US care
Bill Burr is totall hilarious, he is not only funny with the jokes he makes but also because of his style. he's one of the very best!
You know this is old Bill Burr (besides the hair) when he’s talking about $18 brunch like that’s expensive. 😂
Bill Burr is the greatest comedian of all time. Truth has never been said in a funnier way.
He can’t hold Chappelle’s jock strap he’s funny though
Agreed. They’re both excellent though. Chappelle is just in another league though. Only one I’ve seen in Chappelle’s league was Patrice O’Neal. Burr’s got game though.
Can't forget the Mac man himself. Lol
George Carlin would like a moment of your time.
And then Bill Hicks has a few things he'd like to say...
Heard all these bits before but STILL laugh like a crazy person when I hear them. Bill Burr is a national treasure.
Ikr!
Bill is spot on. I could sit in front of the tv, make my favorite meal, and be happy and content as hell just watching a movie while eating. It truly is a time to just shut the brain off and just CHILL.
And at that exact moment, she wants to tell you all about her day.
]
But then they come up and ask ……What are you thinking about ! And ruin everything!
Yep!! I love that simple luxury too. Traded my ex-husband for 2 pit bulls, never looked back.Best deal ever!!! I willNEVER cohabitate again😂😂😂 I love being with my dogs. ❤ kicked people to the curb now 3 peop L e have access to me. Sweet relief!!! I require a LOT of solitude❤❤
The funny thing with Bill's jokes about women is that you can actually tell he's been through all those situations himself. It's a masterful combination of humor and frustration as he tells those jokes, love it 🙂
I’m a stay at home mom who homeschools 3 kids and have another on the way. Definitely definitely NOT the hardest job in the world LOL. And I’m not being sarcastic at all. Life is awesome.
Just because you enjoy doing it, that doesn't mean it's not difficult.
The outcome is arguably more important than most careers, as well (raising the future population).
Give yourself more credit.
@@kingayy9267 that’s true I understand what you mean. However for sure it is not the most difficult job!
🏆
@@kingayy9267 patting yourself on the back for nothing like Bill just said lol
I have to say I enjoyed watching college football with my daughter as she got older. When she would complain about a bad call or cheer after a score. I loved that.
When Lea threw herself into the chair with laughter on Conan was the best part of the video. Seeing everyone all laugh together was really awesome. And that's the way comedy should all be folks.
Yeah, it was great to see him laugh
@@bneale... I see what you did there - LoL 😆
@Mark Knapp Lea only did that because the audience laughed at Bill's retort, so she had to laugh in order to save face. She is an obnoxious, abrasive person.
Funniest burn on RUclips. Never get tired of it.
Never heard of it before now and bet I never will again
Cant get enough of Bill Burrr , his comedy and vocal performance is just so addictice
Lol, splicing old and new clips was brilliant. Shows how much he's grown as a man and a comedian. Thank you 😂
For years I thought I was gay.
Then realized I just shared Bill’s sentiments.
Effin' Funny!!
As a woman I find this hilarious . Bill really shows how absurd society really is..
....How Absurd WOMEN* is.....which was his point throughout this whole content. Now that was some typical woman shh ya did there 😂
Women are absurd...women! He sad women! Typical woman...hears what she wants...ignores the rest.
"I want to love women like how I love my dogs. My dogs need me but they don't act like they don't."
~Patrice O'Neal
This man should be president!!
Speaking of motherhood being the most difficult job, my older sister once told me, "I wished I could have learned how to cook like you, but you know, I was too busy raising three kids.".
My reply: "you mean like our mother, grandmother and aunts, plus the million of women before?
What a joke.
Occupying your top level comment to inform everybody that this video really is 240p in 2024.
It shows the option for 1080p60fps, but that's just more bandwidth to show you the same poor quality.
Try it, there's no difference above 240p.
🤖
Bill Burr is hilarious. He goes after everybody and I love him for that. He's a comedian, it's his job to tell JOKES, and he's damn good at it!
"A happy man is a happy relationship, a happy woman is a miserable man"
-Patrice
“Anytime you upset a woman you know you’re on the right track”
Truly a rare breed he was. Gone too soon
Wouldn’t it make sense for both of them be happy?
@@sarahfickes9704 women are jealous when the husband is happy... to the point they snap and pull a stunt to stirr drama!🤣
@@peterkoch3777Facts!
0:45 This is so true. My ex would spend hours in chick shops and these places have no where to sit so I’d literally sit in the middle of those circular stands. I didn’t realize this was so common for men until I heard a comic mention the same thing in a joke and I lost it so hard in front of my chick. She just stared at me with the meanest face ever while semi chuckling because she knew it was true, lol.
What Bill meant is that women are jealous of how contented a man can be without needing everything in his life to be perfect - but he delivered it in a way that wouldn't upset his wife.
Oh I never could have come to that conclusion on my own 😂
His wife is too busy being upset that he's content watching football, eating pizza and drinking beer to be upset at how he described the simple minded man
Mmm😊
Right after he said "you know, what makes women happy? Nothing" I pressed that like button 😁
Applause
Absolutely love the way his sarcasm is not offensive to women in general How many ladies are just having a laugh !
He is sooooo hilarious 😅😅😅😅
It's like a lot of the man bashing. We can recognise the truth in there, even if it doesn't tell the whole story.
My wife can turn on cartoons for our son and give him a snack before dinner and go do whatever she wants to. However, if I were to do that she’d say he watch’s too much TV and he’ll spoil his apatite if you give him food before dinner.
Don’t forget...you are always wrong. It’s universal.
*appetite
Bill Burr is one of the honest comics which says it like is. And David Chappelle is the other one.
He is hilarious!! “Moronic conversations . . . you just want to flip the whole table over.” Been there a few times 😆😆😆
Sometimes its sex talk and they lie to each other, fact.
Conan trying to turn Bill's jokes on their head and Bill ngaf actually puts a smile on my face. 😂
My first mistake watching Bill Burr was eating a sandwich!! I thought I was going to choke to death. I've since learned my lesson.😂😂😂 This guy is brilliant!!