The different types of DL “downlow men” & how to read them | Tarek Ali
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- Опубликовано: 12 сен 2024
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F A Q
what’s your name? Tarek Ali (Tuh-reek Ali)
are you muslim? no but yes? I'm omnist/perennialist
what’s your instagram? @itstarekali
how old are you? 22
What's your sign? Scorpio (virgo rising, aries moon)
how tall are you? 6'1"
what’s your ethnicity? African-American
what equipment do you use to film?
➭ camera: amzn.to/3cMGWjf
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➭ more/all equipment: www.amazon.com...
➭ editing: final cut pro
FTC: Not sponsored. Some of the above links are affiliate links, meaning I earn a small percentage of sales made via those links, but it doesn’t cost you anything extra.
My podcast is HERE!!!! go to thatconvopod.com to stream or search "THAT conversation tarek ali" wherever you get your podcasts!! we are live on every platform!
I’m a straight woman taking notes because there are too many DL men out here. Some getting married and having kids and all! But I also blame society for making someone feel like they can’t be themselves.
And not to mention sexually fluid men. They should be honest with their partners.
Atlanta?
@@Lejjend832 yep
Satan trying to get’em all…. He don’t want any body making it to Heaven! Satan, always twist what God created, and he is the Author of Lies and deception.
Down-low…means Men who deceive Women. They CAN’T deceive the Men they lay with, cause the Men they screw KNOWS they like Men.
Check they phone on gay line they phone already been activated on a free trial
Erase the DL man by accpeting your sons for who they are so they dont ruin a poor womens life
@Ruru Home Never understood this insane appeal of dl men. When I see a man in the streets, if he seems dl I'm like "I'm good bruh".
Best comment!🏆💯
Ruru Home Women can’t get mad at us if they ain’t got the good stuff to keep they man at home and that he has to go elsewhere (gay/bi/trans men) to get some feel good. Get it together and you won’t have to worry about him lookin at another man.
@M Bailey wtf are you talking about 😂 if gay men weren't scared to be fully out they wouldn't mess with women they wouldn't have a reason to thats my point now fuck off you make no sense
@Russian Bot from Russia Ok sir is that my problem?
You will not be confused if you trust your intuition. Your intuition is always right.
I had a gay bf once lol. First red flag was when I met the family and they were extremely shocked he brought a woman home 😂🤦🏾♀️
Lol what were the other signs?
@@Shaunpeters105 mannerisms, he only had gay friends lol, he got an eyebrow piercing. He was just super fine so yeah lol. But I knew but didnt want to believe.
@@TaylorSamantha lol oh ,thanks. Some can be super masculine as well too, so we got to pay attention to both the feminine & masculine type of men.
@@Shaunpeters105 Yeah the masculine type be the main ones faking of course lol
@Liquid Bijoux I can laugh about it now lol because I am genuinely happy he's out of the closet !
To me, the biggest sign of a DL man is his homeboys. He goes out with his homeboys more than me. He spends more time with his homeboys especially if they are over 30 years old.
In the closet is a person who's not ready to come out. DL is sombdy who's being deceitful about it.
goode gal Not always. Often, YES. But sometimes DL can be a guy who wants to sexually experiment with guys cause he knows he’s not straight and wants to know what it’s like to sexually be with a guy, but he isn’t ready and/or safe to come out so he wants his sexual encounters to be kept private. Also boundaries for DL aren’t universal. So some DL guys have boundaries that make dating impossible, and even a booty call relationship difficult. While other DL guys are still dateable, because at the end of the day, a guy should not be shamed for not feeling ready/safe to come out but still wanting to have same sex romantic/sexual experiences. (BUT if it’s not done deceitfully and rather with transparency and ofc he should be single and clear with boundaries) But we shouldn’t condemn DL’s just for the label.
I think DL more refers to guys who date/marry/sleep with women while secretly sleep with men. And like another poster said, every case isn't the same. Closeted guys are guys who are afraid/not ready to come out for whatever reason. A lot of closeted guys don't date women. So by that definition, all DL guys are closeted but not all closeted guys are DL.
EXACTLY!! DL is a Deceitful Liar. There is absolutely nothing cute or to be pitied about being DL.
good way to put it
DL is still in the closet for not coming out & they’re being deceitful, manipulative & all the above.
I have a gay boy best friend in school and he literally tells me stuff and it’s crazy because the boys he tells me about I would’ve never guessed and it’s the main boys that try to act hard!!!
ellaarr fwfegrw omg seriously
Hell yeah
ellaarr fwfegrw When they try to act hard is a clear sign. Those are the main ones that are DL
ellaarr fwfegrw it always is! They’re in such denial that they exaggerate their hate for what they truly are! It’s so sad 😅
ellaarr fwfegrw omg sameeeee lmao☠️☠️I be SHOCKEDDDD!!
can we just talk about their SKIN?!? literally GLOWING TO THE GODS
When ppl say to the God's it let's you know ppl take the creator for a joke
Dont put God in this, no type of way!!!!
@@NVRLTLLTHATRUTH actually the face is the most spiritual part of the body. So take your Bible brainwashing and gtfo somewhere
I don’t understand the obsession with skin tbh, like I guess it looks good like it’s not all warty and messed up but as long as it’s normal smooth and untainted it’s just skin to me
It's called butter...
How is him and all his friends so fine?! Damn being in nontoxic relationships is really good for the skin and the hair👏🏽👏🏽
I was tryinh to figure out the secret 🤣
Lol
😂
So yall have been asking for longer videos so I kept in extra clips instead of straight to the point. If you’re pressed for time, the video starts starts at 2:18. ALL NEGATIVE COMMENTS WILL BE AND ARE ALWAYS DELETED
Tarek Ali clicked on this vid soon as I saw the notification cus I needed this tea/laugh 😂
You are gorgeous!! I'm new here.
Tarek Ali I'M bearded ruff and rugged looking. I WOULD NEVER MESS WITH SOMEONE THAT LOOK LIKE ME.
To me "in the closet" is denying to yourself and "DL" is denying it to others--- that's just my feeling.
Tanya Cooper to me in the closet just means you aren’t ready to say or do anything yet. Closeted people don’t do gay things at all or if they do it’s once fore exploration. DL people do gay things all the time.
To me closeted means you aren't out to others, but you acknowledge your sexuality and don't use women to hide your sexuality . DL is you are messing with men, and use women to hide your sexuality : you could acknowledge your sexuality or be in denial. To me the key difference is whether or not you use others to try and hide your sexuality.
Being in the closet means you are not presenting yourself as anything, to anyone. At least not openly or publicly. The closeted person may or may not have it figured out for himself. But he is not comfortable broadcasting his business or doesn't see the need to broadcast his business. This information may be kept on a need-to-know basis!
Being on the DL means you are openly presenting yourself as straight while living a certain portion of your life as a gay man, and having man to man sex. The straight part is for public display or consumption and is therefore on open display while the gay part is kept deeply hidden. Deeply!
The problems arises because the DL person is not being honest with anyone - - including himself. It is meant to confuse others and to throw them off his tracks. It's a very difficult way to live because of all of the deception. And lies! Everything is a secret! And that's a very, very heavy burden to carry for any length of time because no one ever really knows who the DL person really is, deep down. Everything is kept very superficial due to all the secrecy. And superficial things don't have much meaning or value. But superficial is the name of the game in the life of a DL guy.
@@paulortiz5047 Yeah, I like your explanation of closeted men more than mine. And good insight on the harm that being DL causes to the person himself too.
- - thank you very much!
Damn! You boys are handsome af.
Too fine lol
YES THEY ARE SO HANDSOME ❣❣❣❣❣
꧁ Orlando Cruz ꧂ nope they are
Priddy
Lovely girl youre not entitled to them at all. God didnt make them for you
Yep!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Y’all so handsome 😭😭
Not, it's all make up just like you wearing it,it enhances our beauty
She like gay men girl they dont want you tho 😆
Beauty is beauty, it does not have to imply anything sexual. They are both really cute.
That's just what I was thinking. I'm like y'all too fine to be gay--that's a damn shame.
I don't think DL men are straight. There must be a new definition for straight I may not know about.
Mahogony's Lifestyle! Straight people barely knows what straight means
Most are bisexual
Others are just gay
Jackie Montrose You clearly don’t know either.
If you have sex with a man you’re GAY DL means to me (d stands for dudes and L stands for Lie ) together means dudes lie
Put it this way, for some people, it's similar to masturbating with your own hand, or a toy, which many people do. They get aroused and climax using something they are not even sexually attracted to, but mentally thinking of something or watching something that they are attracted to. So, a straight person can have sex with another person that they are not sexually attracted to, but use only for sexual gratification, like their hand or a toy. That's how a straight person can have sex with someone of the same sex, without being gay per se.
And, humans are first and foremost homosexual, since they usually begin by sexually arousing and climaxing on their own. Masturbation is a form of homosexuality, really. If you're a straight man, you claim you don't like penis, yet you are engaging in sexual gratification by stimulating your penis and getting yourself to climax. You are using your own hand, mouth and/or toy to sexually stimulate your vagina if you're a woman, or your penis if you're a man. That means we naturally have no real aversion to the same-sex genitalia. However, we start learning from society even before we start masturbating that homosexuality is wrong. So, when it comes to sexually touching the body of another person of the same sex, it's suddenly a gross, or wrong, which makes no sense. But some people are still able to do it like masturbating with a person, without letting society's stigma stop them. It is actually the natural next step in the progression of human sexuality. That's enough lesson for today. Your homework is to think about this the next time you masturbate and report back.
Class dismissed.
I think I dealt with a man who was DL! I pray he becomes comfortable with his sexuality!
akeshia williams me too
What a nice wish for the old boyfriend.
Right
@@angelldadonn3577 so did he turn out to be gay????
I can relate!
2 BEAUTIFUL men!
They are cute but so feminine...why call each other girl...unless you're a drag queen? Anywho DL men I've always fou d interesting as there is a large range of sexual desires.
@@edreef8689 I think "girl" these days is moreso a slang word. Just like I may say, "dude, guess what?" or "hey guys!" to women although they are not men (who are often represented by the words "dude" and "guy." It's not that deep in my opinion. No shade or anything, I swear. I just feel bad when it seems people are being judged for not fitting in to what other people deem as acceptable behavior for their sex and/or gender.
They cute !!!!
They're gorgeous 😢
Gott damn booty bandits
I was engaged to a DL man. The guy comes from money, Ivy league educated and an only child. We met throught a mutual friend that i'm now almost certain is gay too. My ex his very religious and very homophobic. We would fight over the fact that I have gay friends.
First red flag for me was his eagerness to get married. 5 months in, he proposed. I couldn't say yes because I knew deep down something wasn't right. I didn"t want to lose him because I was falling in love. So I said OK but let's have 1 year engagement before we jump the broom.
Thank God I didn't marry him on the spot like he wanted me to.
A few months after our engagement party, my laptop crashed. He lent me his and I accidently found out he was very active on a lot of gay dating sites.
He would present himself as a bisexual man looking for hook ups. I confronted him and his reaction was to blame me for violating his privacy.
We broke up and he moved on to marry a very young girl (20 at the time, he was 36). They have 2 kids.
Why dL men likes to married women if she can’t answer his sex need
You are lucky you didn’t marry him. I married my ex husband who was on the dL. He was so homophobic which made no sense to me how much he hated gay people, just to find out he had a second phone where he was sexting multiple men
Ms. Beautiful smh
@@ploynarongrit because they are ashamed of their gayness and want too hide it
Whew Chile~
I hit the like button on this video 4 years ago when I was married because I sensed my husband was DL . Now I'm divorced since September 2022 . Now he has a boyfriend and I seen all the signs 4 years ago. Thanks to this video. You guys are awesome, thank you. I was his beard all along.
I feel my former bf was on the dl. The first thing I noticed was the high pitched voice that I feel he was using (instead of his regular low voice that I heard sometimes) and he would sit like a teen girl would and tuck his hair in his ear like a teen girl would. I know cause I was a teen girl myself 😂I dated a lot of men too and they didn’t have that stance. I don’t judge him but it hurt to be used and a lot of other girls he dated were treated like trash for absolutely no reason (were pretty, paid for their dates, gave him gifts)
damn, sounds tuff
It took me awhile to let go of finding heterosexual men more attractive than gay men. I definitely feel internalized homophobia plays into gays mens idealization of heterosexual men. I think understanding that gay men are just as( if not more) diverse than our hetero counterparts and learning to appreciate and love those components was the turning point for me.
How long would u say it too u to come to that realisation?
@@BlackNerdist Internalized homophobia like @Channing said. When you grow up being told that you're not a man that you're not worthy as a person that you're an abomination, you start looking at everything that reminds you of you (fellow gay men) in the same light, and that turns you off because all you see is negativity. Heterosexual men, on the other hand, are so glorified in this hyper masculine, patriarchal culture, that you see that as not only the holy grail but a proof that you're worth it as a person (aka "if a straight dude can fall for me then maybe I might not be so worthless after all"). Even though I come from a very homophobic culture (I'm part African), African culture is paradoxically much more accepting of gender fluidity than western cultures. So I never cared how a dude presented himself-if I like you I like u, don't matter if you're drenched in glitter or rocking sweatpants.
@@tbg6070 some country in africa are tolerant. Some countries in africa are intolerant. In few countries in africa, "corrective rape" (gang rape of lesbians) goes without recourse to the victims, and even parents can be sentenced to prison for their son's sodomy. Speak for only your own home country.
😭😭😭😭😭😩😩😩🤡🤡🤡
@tpamel regardless of what they do to the person as punishment, it's everywhere. I know the things they do there and I'm not lying
Dwight Howard is a LEGIT Level 3 DL
Lol
🤣🤣🤣 facts
I knew my friend was gay before he even knew. Does that make sense? It was his voice and actions that made me think, “You’re actually gay.” But he would always say no and I never brought it up again. 2 years later, he confirmed to me and his family that he was gay. I felt happy for him when he came out. He is proud of who he is :)
Usually it's the most thuggish and masculine men in the black and latino communities. My gay cousin used to pull 'em back in the day. His sister was Hella jealous...she got pregnant by one of his dudes he was messing around with.
😲😲😲
Damn
Whaaaaaa
Sounds about right
#homothugs
BJ is so handsome 😍 his skin
Both of their skin
DDomino Geronimo Yes Both, But I was concentrating on BJ since he’s new here
It's make up period,would like to see them without
Christine Munday it’s there natural faces sweetie
Christine Munday well bj is my baeeee and that is def his skin and he looks that good all of the time
I think u have to look out for the one's that have a lot of kids n baby moms...its a cover also
👏👏👏👏👏
Wow Good point ??? I never thought about that 1 fr ??? Or a Man that talks about his so called homeboys all the timesss fr ??? That's extremely Red Flags to me aswell .
Tanya Miller yessssss
Deadass???
Tanya Miller how is that a red flag???? Because men like to hang out with other men?
That took me out 😂😂😂 “you look fine” “Chill bro, I ain’t with all that” LMFAO
LMFAO
Tarek looks like he could be the brother of the McClain sisters .. loving the blonde on him too🙌🏽
Bj seems so high class 💅🏾 that needs man of etiquette and wealth to come his way.
Right?!! I saw the same vision! A WEALTHY man who absolutely adores him! 😂😂
And you're cosigning this nasty ass behavior! THAT'S the mf'ing problem!
@@gloriousjohnson1807 The problem is, you're here
@@Lejjend832 : Are YOU ABLE TO 'REPRODUCE' ?🙄😣👀
@@gloriousjohnson1807 what?….
Omg y’all are so cute! Can a bihhh get a skincare regimen?! Lol 😂
on my page baby :)
Okkkurt!!
Yes girl, they perfect ❤️
Nizzy's PlayHouse lmao 😂🤣😂🤣
W W have a seat ma’am lol 😂 don’t u got some else u need to be worried about? Dayummm
Yall both GLOWING, love y’all
This video was needed and made several valid points! Here are some I feel like could have been added from personal experience...
The Super Secretive DL: He only likes to talk on the phone. He won’t ever text you anything too incriminating and he always tells you to delete your messages to each other when you’re done talking. When you two meet up you cannot be seeing together in public and absolutely NO pictures.
The Confused DL: He’s unsure on if he likes men but has a special attraction to you. Each time you do something with him he says he’s “ Never done anything like this before or he doesn’t do this often “ He isn’t seeking an emotional connection because he doesn’t know if a man is what he wants emotionally.
The obsessive DL: He can date any other woman he wants, and sleep with whomever he pleases. You will be the only MALE he is sleeping with and he doesn’t want you sleeping with any other Men besides him. He gets jealous, controlling, and aggressive when he’s sees you with other Men all while he is in a full blown relationship with a Woman.
The Married DL: He married her for a cover up, secretly has sex with men on the side, can get into a full blown relationship with you while still married. Will constantly tell you how he is unhappy with her and they don’t sleep in the same bed.
The Dangerous DL: He sleeps with men and nobody knows. He doesn’t want you to speak to him in public but he’s always watching you. If you approach him while he is with friends he will pretend he doesn’t know you. If he gets ridiculed enough he may physically harm you.
The Bi-curious DL: He sleeps with men ONLY when a female is involved.
It’s plenty more but my list is already too long 😂 and I’m only 20 and these are the types of “Lowkey” dudes I have come across .
👏👏👏👏🙌🙌
Why would the bi. Curious sleeps with only Male when he has a girlfriend. Not not cheat with famles too
I attract the confused and the dangerous DL..... Therefore I just don't deal with them anymore 😆
I would love to get your input on a situation I’m dealing with. If possible ?? 🙏🏾
You should make a video..I’d love to hear more from u on this topic
The lower the level, the higher the privacy.
D DOMANICO
TAKE CONTROL OF YOUR LIFE IT'S 2019
Nothing but the truth
@@marlonmalcolm1738 I'm good Melted Chocolate. Thx.
Nice
You both are beautiful men! I love how your personalities mix and differ and mostly you both keep it real!
First of all, y’all are both gorgeous! But Giiirrrllll when you dropped that tea “he was here the other night”, it went to a commercial break (ad). I HAD to make sure you got your coin but I was on the edge of my seat waiting for the rest of the tea! LOL
Do you have to watch the ad ? I didn't know I always skip. Does that help them get there coin I mean ?
Summer Tynes I believe watching the ads that pop up during RUclipsr’s videos gets them money somehow. (Adsense or smthn like that). I’m not certain but I watch the ads just in case 🤷🏽♀️
Tiara Shamane Girl, me too! That's my broke self supporting!!! 😂🤣😘
Tiara Shamane girl. Girl.
Tiara Shamane yes that’s how they get paid , from the ads
Great video! I wish you spoke more about the type of DL men that has a girlfriend(s) or wife. The DL’s that use women as a cover up. Cause as a woman I need to know chileeeeee
Brittany like my husband of 7 years did with me. I recently found out he been hookin up with dudes for a couple years now.
yesss
Nine Wectawski omg I hope y’all don’t have kids together
Nine Wectawski how’d you find out ?
@@ninewectawski1935 that's my baby daddy
this has always been an interesting topic to me bc before the video i usually felt bad for DL men bc of stigmas of being a gay/bi man and things like that. but i also noticed that there are DL men who hurt people along the way, string people along, use people etc. so it’s interesting seeing this from your perspective as this is your “dating pool” for lack of a better term.
DL men aren’t taking you through anything that us women don’t go through with hetero males (DL included) on a regular basis... Girrrllll(s), welcome to the world of dating MEN (in general) 🤷🏽♀️🤷🏽♀️🤷🏽♀️
Good to know, I am myself masculine and all that bs of not "looking gay" but I think you are right, seducing men is a hard job and requires surgical precision, you don't know what they will come up to.
Faaaaacts
Lol
This video has been very informational lol I truly enjoyed it
Get my book 'girl Don't Be so Desperate... you know He's Gay' on Amazon now to learn more.
I'm trying
John Carter lmao ima read this thanks
Wow! You two are so right about the "DL" men. However, when you have truly lived in this life, you will understand that these types of men will never change as long as we continue to allow this behavior. I'm a older black gay man. My life...has no room for this type of nonsense. I say , leave the "DL" men alone. It will only lead to heartache and much worse if you continue down this road. There are soooo...many gay men out here that need and want love and would not put you through all of this nonsense. Honestly, I have been where you're at. It's no fun when you want to go to a social gathering but you can't get them to go because of their lie that they're living. A person may as well be by themselves. These men don't change. I say just find you a gay man who is confident with himself and you. Life is so much easier this way.
To the 2 of you this was and is very informative to the younger gay men who are still learning about this lifestyle or should I say life. Both of you have a very blessed day!!
@J Whitt I understand where you are coming from; however even a gay person whose not on the DL can make the relationship difficult and hard. I truly believe in giving DL a chance. I believe that as black men we do want things to be picture perfect. But we are not willing to go through the challenges of ups and downs behind the beautiful pictures that the media reveals Facebook, Instagram, Snapchat, etc.
I am a magnet for the DL for a level 1 and 2. They must target certain types of women. This quiet little passive one was so sketchy. He wants me to "chase" him. I am not that type of woman. So long old DL dude.
Courtney that’s a bad idea!! Lots of openly gay men in the world! Why would you pursue a down-low man even for a chance!? Sounds like desperation to me
Exactly! I don't respect a gay man sleeping w a man he knows has a woman! If you're gay to each is own, but stop involving us woman in it!
You gon have people saying “under the bed” lol
Kiah43 im saying it already.. haha
😂
They also have many kids with different baby moms.
Bj looks like the male version of queen he’s beautiful 😂
Who's queen??
I said the same exact thing lol
@@Megaman-kk1lu Queen Naija she's a RUclipsr, singer and Mom
@@heyimjames5566 ohh Queen Naija 😂😂
@@Megaman-kk1lu yeah😂😂
I need to reach this level of moisturized
The fact that I pictured someone for each of these types lmaooooooo
Oh
This helped me realize the guy I liked was level 1 and 2. He will tell you he just hasn't met the right woman. The right woman is a man. I get it now.
You have to be very intuitive to pick up on those subtle patterns and their ambiguous actions, then realistic w yourself so you’re not perceiving a false reality. They don’t even be worth all that effort 😭
DLs definitely act narcissistic and they be treating you like you’re one of their little fans (even though they hit you up first). That shit baffles tf outta me LOL hold this block sir
😊😊😂😂
PREACH ^^^
I got the feeling that DL men maybe Narcissists because they have no boundaries and the fact that they would have sex with men and woman won't mean nothing to them because they don't identify as men or woman emotionally even they don't have emotions except shame and fear and hate and envy and jealousy. They have no empathy so this would make them prone to have both men and woman and they have no moral compass so anything goes with them. They want to hurt both men and woman it is an ego thing with the down low man because he maybe a Narcissists.
Shaun Neoux all these damn big words😂🤦🏾♂️
Just MMAALLYYKK I’m thorough and exact in mah speech! Lmaoo
Damn! BJ is fiiiiinnnne!
Yesssss!!!!
I know, beautiful black king 😎
Samething i said 🤤🥵
Yea
Great Topic.....DL men are good for “Fun” that’s all. Don’t be catching feelings for them just have fun.
I don't like "straight" or "DL" dudes for anything more than friends--confident guys who are true to themselves no matter where they fit on the spectrum of men (fem/masc) have true appeal.
agreed sis. I ain't fuck w trade and dl. too much hassle and ion wna be w a man who aint accept himself or be public w me. I ain't some nasty secret
Alex Carlson what’s a trade?
I agree, I love people who are 100% themselves
Greetings. I told my sister, " before you bring a young man to your apartment. First let me meet him." Men know men...under all circumstances.
I am a str8 female who consistantly attracts DL men. I think it's my personality, sure I love makeup, doing my nails, heels sometimes, but I also work on cars, carry a pistol, play playstation and basketball. I feel like as more LBGTQ people are accepted then people also starting to accept my lifestyle. I'm currently seeing a man I think is DL, again, but this time I want to ask if he is open to sharing. Please don't judge me, just being transparent. I don't know how to have the conversation but I'm pretty sure he is DL.
I noticed this is me too. I’m just not very comfortable with a too masculine man but the dl guy I dated was cruel to every girl he dated so I don’t think it’s a good idea to even think about making. That work.
Level 1( What I have experienced from men/co workers)
1.Starring at you when your not looking
2. Look's away real fast when you look at them/ stare back
3. Always finds something to talk to you about, even the smallest of things.
4.Compliments you.
5.When they stare at you, it feels like they're undressing you with they're eyes.
6. They find excuses to touch you, even for smallest reason, like brush past you, or behind you.
7.Won't speak/ talk to you for days, then all of a sudden talk to you out the blue like nothing ever happened,
8.Shortens your name without, you being close/friends, (example if you name is James they'll call you "jay" or "j"
9.When you're hanging out alone, they take the time to randomly sit next to you/ hang around you.
10. Make sexual jokes about females around you (To see your reaction)
11. When you walk past/ around them they always have a reaction (scratching their ear, clearing throat, slightly uncomfortable)
12.When you ask for their number, they give it too you, without hesitating or thinking about it
13.They get jealous when you start to talk to/ hang around other people, and try to inject themselves into the conversation
14 People that you don't know you/ friends, start to notice the strange behavior between you and him and start assuming things
15. It has come to light that he has had sex with a man/ transsexual before.
16 When he is having a conversation with someone else, and you walk by, his eyes, automatically lock onto yours.
17. Stares at your body/butt
18, When they're around they're friends, and having a conversation, or laughs, if you're around they'll stare at you, when they should be focusing on their friends
19. They ask personal questions about your life, (where you live, what you go to school for, are you single?)
20. He is obviously aware that you are gay, but doesn't acknowledge it, treats you like one of the guys, even still hangs around you in front of his friends/other guys
21. His friends/strangers notice his staring
If the guy /girl does any of these things im 99.9 sure they're interested in you, but stay away because this type isn't worth it, they find you attractive/hot but are too chicken shit to do anything about it, don't feed their ego, don't even giving them a second thought. these are the type to try and hook you in, and when they get you interested, they will ignore you
You said it... they bait you but when you finally acknowledge their interest in you.... they back off. These folks get off (nut) on knowing that you want them.
You are right!!! 🤦🏾♀️🤦🏾♀️
Totally agree but I ALWAYS hook their ass. They rarely ignore me. Maybe cuz Ive dabbled with ALL levels of dl men and know how to function in their world. I play their gane cuz I KNOW their steelo. You gotta get into them how they do you without showing you're interested or care. Its a game and they wanna be conquered truthfully
I think they are fighting the fact that they are attracted to you , they badly wanna be heterosexual , but can't resist their true desire
@@KourtniCapree but sis like why ain’t u just date a guy who’s out and comfortable I mean ain’t it just easier? Or u like the chase or that dl d lol
Yall if funny but here is a similar but real list ok.
1.the bully
2.the flip flopper
3. In denail
4.the stalker/ pervert
No specific order
I knew the guy I was seeing was on the DL when we went shopping and a gay guy was in the store me and this guy was standing by each other, well I noticed the gay gay and apparently so did he. He left from by me went as close as he could to the gay guy, gave him eye contact and a nod. He didn,think I noticed but I did. He needs to come on out the closet!!
Omg i notice this when we are out in public ...he will turn to look at gays
The bidding and gapping rhe feet in the bathroom is also a sign I'm DL alot if wives got dl husband ot real sad. Alot if deception in relationship. It so evil
I respect who ever is open enough to be them selves!
Why date someone DL? Nope not for me at all. Some gay guys date DL men because they see them as a prize because they are “str8” acting. But noo soon as I find out, I’m running away. Nope it isn’t cute. It’s desperate. And shows what kind of person you truly are if you date a DL guy. I’ve never been with a DL guy. Nope
it's not easy coming out and gays should accept dl men for who they are instead of trying to push them out of the closet. That's why they stay in the closet. So speak for yourself, not everyone that likes a dl man is desperate.
That's u , everybody not comfortable with everybody up they ass ,if a nigga dl then he dl
I been saying this.
Faith Love Hope True. And when they do decide to come out of the closet, they will have all this baggage because of the shitty treatment from the out gays who “don’t date” dl men.
I could understand the dating thing since it tends to be an issue in the long run, but just for casual sex...why not, unless they married or something of course.
Thank you for this insightful vlogg guys! I got with a level 2 DL Hispanic guy last summer. He’s Dominican Republic lives in a predominantly Dominican/Cuban hood outside of Bronx. He’s a good looking pretty boy with a beard. When we started seeing each other, I checked his IG, he had no female friends at all except his mom and sisters. Mostly are his male buddies. He’s a huge flip flopper big time and always gas lighting shit causing drama. My take away was the fact that he does not like women. And when I called him out on it, it made him really uncomfortable and angry. Shortly after, he blocked me on IG and ghosted me and never heard from him again. He blocking me proved that my instincts were on point all along that he’s Gay in the DL. He grew up in a all boys school. Go figure. He’s 23 and only had 2 girlfriends but claims to have fucked a lot of women. I think that’s a bit exaggerated on his part and wasn’t honest from the start. Your channel gave me validation and thank you. And you two are adorable by the way! ❤️❤️❤️ new subscriber
Lisa Holte, Your Access To The Red Carpet! Omg I need to talk to you !! I have a similar situation i need to get your insight on my situation....
I need both of y'all to drop your skincare routine. I'm here for the melanin and wine time!!!! Get it girls!!!!!
yasss girl I'm thinking same mfin thing. they skin be glowing! and melanin popping if u find out let a brother know, I need my beautiful melanated skin to be brighter than my future too! also I'm down for wine time too. no red tho!
They are men not girls
i completely agree with the “inner homophobia” comment! gays often look at DL men as more “manly”. me walking out the house everyday in heels, makeup, hair, etc. makes me more of a man than DL MEN! i rather be with some that’s comfortable with themselves opposed to someone that’s just going to slowly put me back in the closet that i was never in
That BJ is remarkably handsome. He has a very quiet and understated yet very intelligent and reasoned energy. Very attractive.
Lol I’m a whole female but i think this was very informational even for a straight women so i can know the signs a a gay men gotta keep my eye out the now for these signs cause ain’t nobody got time for a dl man
Order my book 'girl Don't Be so Desperate... you know He's Gay' available on Amazon now.
Just check who all likes the guy pics 🤣
You gonna live your life paranoid.
Really? I never would have guess. I thought you were half a female. Bwahaha. What a dumb ass expression. Why do people keep saying "I'm a whole this or a whole that..". Dumb black expressions need to stop.
@@udob4939 you must be DL
lol he poured like three glasses of wine 🍷 lol 😂
Tell me about it
This video is EVERYTHING! You are so wise and so aware of people and how they are and how they interact. Definitely subscribing!
21:14-21:40 I would say that it true to a certain extent but at the same time it all comes down to preference. Some gay men find femininity attractive others prefer more masculine men (and I’m not referring to masc4masc). Some people just have the mentality that “if he’s feminine, I might as well just date a woman”. Eventually it also comes down to maturing and growing.
Edwin Rivera 😂😂 i think you mean *femininity
Solomon Booker I did and you still understood, thank youuuu ☺️
Hmm there are masculine gay men just saying ok bye
I don't think i need to mature/grow if i'm not into feminine men. I am more feminine, so I obviously want someone who is more masculine than me
The dark hair guy, I respect. He has respect for self and the other
ALSO! It comes down 2 vibes also! Some of these Men can/will “disregard ya gender” if they feel like you’re someone who they can be vulnerable with, on many levels.
I liked that y’all touched on the internalized homophobia in our community. It was beat into our heads what a man was. And i could not see myself in a relationship with a DL man he has to be gay and open about it
I'm a super affectionate person, and when I behold beauty, I offer genuine compliments no matter the gender/orientation/color/creed etc...(btw you two are absolutely STUNNING💖💖). Quite a few people have asked if I was lesbian or "at least bi," because "regular-hetero" females are usually not as "warm." 🙄 From experience, my gender fluidity (I dress, do hair and make-up more "girly" some days, and "tomboy" on others based on my mood/vibe) is often mistaken for orientation...I wish people would take more time to show and receive love rather than trying so hard to label and compartmentalize everything (which I annoyingly had to do in this comment to illustrate the struggle🙈😅). *Peace, Love & Infinite blessings 🦋
I use to work at a grocery store as a front end manager. I had a worker stand at the front of the store and point out the customers in the store shopping with their girlfriends and children that were on the DL. I was totally 😳 shocked.
wow
I associated being "down-low" with a behavior and "in the closet" as a state of being. Behavior vs sexual identity. I never thought of the two as synonymous. Good conversation. Keep them coming.👍🏾
I agree! that's probably the best explanation I've seen on differentiating the two sayings!
I'm glad I watched this video. Not only do the level 1 and 2 DLs give gay men give women false hopes, but in the end, they hurt their beards (the women that they hide behind.) I would not want to be with a guy who isn't even into me because I'm a woman and he's hiding, but I'm giving my all to him. When I date a guy, I make sure I show his picture and explain his mannerisms to my gay brother first. I understand when a DL is young and doesn't want to get kicked out of the house because they come out to a homophobic family, but if he is grown and KNOWS he likes men and marries a woman and has children with her, then they are fucking that whole woman's life up. (and the children) A full-grown level 1 or 2 DL are selfish as hell IMO.
It depends on the community, environment too. Some circumstances are worse than others. There are places where to come out means you'd have to leave everything and everyone you know and love since coming into the world. A lot of people who demand that men be open about it, could not handle that if the shoe were on the other foot. So, basically I agree with you, but there are circumstances where people make it near impossible for a person to come out, and if they end up getting married when they are young, due to pressure and self-hatred and what not, then there is far more than one person to blame. The people around him/her who created that homophobic atmosphere are also to blame, and in many cases, the significant other also took part in that anti-gay culture.
They are called Beards not mustaches
A grown man on any level of DL is selfish if he's not staying away from women ...
@@msgigglesbaby Amen👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽💯
Vanity Posh ...Absolutely! And this is the type of behavior that ruins entire families.
The DOWN LOW/Undercover Lover has always existed and includes women as well. It's good to see this very important situation that can impact so many lives finally getting to the front of the line for open and honest discussions.
I like the feminine /masculine vibes the cohost gives. Reminds me of PRINCE!
If he could, Prince would come back from the dead and kick your ass for that comment. Prince gave you "androgyny," not feminine.
@@rodentcafeteria Did I say he was Prince. I did not. So go kick your OWN ASS!
Really😠😠😠💜
Srsly I cant stop staring at him.😍
rodentcafeteria prince was as GAY as the men in this video. Calm down
Two beautiful men that I will never have :the saddest story
shanise elise 😂😂😂
😂😂😂
lol
Straight up smh
Once I found out that I delt with a dl man I started calling myself a trade magnet because it seem like most of the men I've dated was on the DL and the men that tried talk to me was too 🤦🏾. At one point I started to dislike trans women because on two different occasions two different ones kept coming for me indirectly. I didn't know or understand why when we didn't run in the same circle or have mutual friends but come to find out we was sleeping with the same guy smfh it fucked me up mentally and emotionally for a long time but now I'm good. Thanks for giving me more insight on this topic.
Yea
They might've seen you as a good cover cause you weren't aware of their true identity. It's like not being aware of a narcissist.
Ugh I attract them too, but now that I'm a single mother, I'm really not looking to date anyone, and quite frankly, don't trust most people!
I am so happy you made this. This is epic. The “DL” video WE needed. Bravo! 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾
Why u happy
I'll tell ya'll one thing, I had two gay guys as friends and they are the best friends you can find. Shit a gay guy can be a better friend to a female than a actual female.
This has been the most insightful video on youtube about how to navigate the dl situation this is probably my 6th time watching this ive tried watching others but they seem far too animated this video gives facts can you please do an updated version to this please
Yasssss Tarek I do the same thing I go through the likes & followers. If he follows more then 3 gay ppl then that’s a Red flag & a eyebrow raiser
Kartier Kulture ughh that never works for me cause they all straight...
Lol! Really!?!?
And then yall wonder when straight men are homophobic right? Smfh
Emmanuel Toney Yes really Lol, that’s how I always find out
Ode Straight men are homophobic, because they choose to be ignorant. So idk what point you trying to get at
tarek, you were a fool in this video 😅 and who is Aladdin over here 👀
just found your channel and I'm in love. I love how articulate you are. Such a safe space for dialogue
I feel like I still can’t spot a DL guy and this video definitely explained why. I automatically assume any guy nice to me is gay. I have to get out of that lol
And women wonder why men find it a smarter strategy with women being an asshole. I suspected there were women that thought like you. Any type of niceness and you question a man's sexuality??? DL men help in the destruction of relations between black men and women.
Que Amell I been spotting they asses since before this video. But, I have learned something new.
LMAO BJ grabbed that phone so quick like I'm about to Nancy Drew this ish lmao !!!!
Bj know he cute😁...look how he eating that fruit looking in the camera😁😁
His da only one I was looking at
Found your channel by roaming on RUclips and this came up! I throughly enjoyed it and now I am a subscriber! Keep up the good work! 👌🏽
Society is what keeps them on the DL....the stigma. We(lgbti) are past the stigma... we accept it. They have a hard time with this. We don't. You two are HILARIOUS!👄✌
Nah a lot of y’all trip with miss labeling bisexual people but ok 👌🏽
I'm a single female. I recently dated a man who's sexuality I wonder about. He is ultra masculine (to me) and often hardcore, which I really like, but sometimes OTHER things seem to be expressed by him naturally that nobody will mention. He is very anti-gay/homophobic. He's always talking down about that community, I mean always, all the time, without anybody bringing up the subject. He makes interesting gestures, especially with his hands flinging when he talks sometimes (but tries to hide questionable gestures when we're around other people). He sometimes sticks his pinky out when drinking out of certain glasses. He makes certain dance movements/body movements that are almost flamboyant. I think he protests too much, KWIM. He also posts videos of crowds where he will follow men sometimes & try to quickly put it on a female if he see's somebody looking at him filming a man. It's VERY SUBTLE, but my female 6th sense catches it. These are all circumstantial and I know it, but when I'm with him sometimes it looks...different. I've recently cut things off with him because he doesn't want a relationship although we act like a couple when I'm around. I want to be in a relationship but he won't claim me & says he's concentrating on his business...awwww : ( Hmmmm?
Hi, I’m a male questioning my sexuality. And yeah he definitely feeling men. Sound like he try to act macho as a front. Concentrating on “business” doesn’t seem like a valid excuse. What it really seems like is he’s tryna make others seem like he’s interested in women, or he was tryna have a thing w you to figure his sexuality out
Lord... I’m in a full blown long term 8 year relationship with a mixture of a 3 and 4... He doesn’t feel comfortable with his straight co workers and his family to know he’s gay but when it comes to other gay people he doesn’t care especially when he feels someone is trying shoot their shot to me...And now it’s becoming a problem with me because I can’t do all this fake shit anymore ....like don’t admit to being gay when it’s convenient....I kinda get the whole situation with him because when we first got together I was just like him but I have evolved and don’t give a whole fuck what anybody thinks my family is good with me so I’m good...I’m about to end this pretty soon because it’s getting old especially because we’ve been together for so long it’s not like people don’t know ...so it makes me feel like I’m back in the closet again and it took me a long time to get to the place I am in my life with myself so I’m getting annoyed with this.. but he needs to tell when he’s ready I guess and I’m not sticking around too much longer to find out when he’s gonna do it. Good topic!
EphraimAdamz WOW!! I’m sorry you have dealt with that more than 1 time because this is my first and last time I can’t do it anymore
I HOPE AT SUM POINT HE FINDZ DA STRENGTH 2 SAY FUQQ IT N COME OWT...BUT UNTIL THEN, UR CONTENT WIT WHO U R N DESERVE 2 LIVE UR BEST LIFE @BRKLYNBOY 🌈💯
ELLA SPITZGERALD Thank you I really appreciate that!! 🤗🙏🏽
star child First thing I’m far from dumb, next I don’t chase after “straight men” the person I’ve been with is gay but not comfortable with it within himself.. I’m in a whole relationship with this person not a side nigga we live together and all. Thanks for your dumb ass assumption tho
star child The last I checked side pieces don’t live with the person and have everything revolve around but that one thing of not being comfortable with themselves.. also hence why I said I’m leaving because it’s getting old.. don’t project whatever happened to you on me.. I’m nobody’s side piece the better word I can say might be secret cuz he doesn’t want to tell his family but I’m no side piece
interesting what you said about straight men being seen as "real men". that's totally part of hegemonic masculinity, the unwritten standard of what the manliest man is. I learned this in sociology & I'd encourage y'all to look it up. it has encouraged me to challenge what I see as attractive and why. it's definitely internalized for most of us
sis u hit the nail on the head! yasss
Thanks for making this video....I have wayyyyy more respect for males who is open about being gay or bi-sexual than DL men.....be who you are and accept the good and bad that comes with it but don't mask yourself and hurt someone innocent who truly loved you for you but all that time she was loving the fake you....🤓 .....Y PPL can't just be real.....
I asked myself this for a year and he eventually dumped me. Wild
I’m bi but mostly gay and masculine and private. When I moved to Atlanta 1 married man wanted my number out the blue who had a family and the other one wanted to date me but I saw a car seat in his back seat in the car and that was a turnoff
U dodged 2 bullets...
And why was that so
Respect💯
Yall so damn fine skin glowing
Great topic
I purposely looked 4 this topic and appreciate the tips
Being a straight woman, always feared I would date a DL and not know
Its also my fear🙈🙈🙈
I love him to the right. He has standards. Good for you. ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️ Because if he’s on the DL on the other end of that is likely a woman and children that is being put at risk and you are contributing to that. To not know he’s on the DL is 1 thing but to know means you are encouraging the potential deceit and harm of others including yourself. So handclap to you hun for having enough self worth and maturity to know your worth,
. You definitely deserve someone that will represent you 110%
Agreed! Bj seem very self aware and mature and appears to have respect for himself and others.
I can certainly appreciate that.
Why the only name that came in my head was Deven Hubbard 😩😂😭
XoXo Indyy LMAOOOOO FACTS BRO
😂😂😂😂😂guurrrllllll! Ikr
💀💀💀💀😂
I'm from Atlanta and This girl I use to work with said they went out and they broke up because she found out he was gay he diff level 4😂😂😂
Chileee aint nothing down low about that foul, he been Open, Up, High, and getting his cheeks clapped since them 2015 Tumblr days.
Y’all are HILARIOUS. Felt like I was watching a talk show. Y’all were so ON POINT. Shit I always felt like 80% of men that show interest in me are DL. Especially online.
This was so informative... I always knew all of this but thought I was just a little crazy for thinking this way but you two definitely clarified some things I’d been seeing... GREAT VIDEO!!
I was looking up Will Smith and this popped up 😨
😂😂😂
Bloop
LMAO
Will smith for sure that man is hiding something for sure,i been looking his vlogs he's on somethangsss🤣🤣 only in the demon's time know 😂😂
Will Smith isn’t gay, he’s bisexual
You missed one DL trans attracted men
Yeah the ones who specifically want a trans with a penis ...
@@AuntieThree malika yoba
Trans women are women. Those people are heterosexual.
@beautifultammira10 Not necessarily. Don't mix up gender with sex. Intersex people exist.
beautifultammira10 Yes, there is. A trans Woman is a woman that was born with the biology of a male, and because of that they transition.
Skin... flawless. Both... FINE!