As an estj my biggest fear is failure at anything I do. I feel like I not only have to win or succeed but to do it at such a level that there’s no doubt in anyone’s mind that I did a good job or succeeded. So I end up not trying certain things I’d otherwise like to give a shot from fear of not being good at them.
I am an estj and this is SO true. I believe in doing 100% and that also includes knowing about myself and what I want. I don’t want to fail and waste time and that makes me indecisive about my career line. I just worry about it too much because I don’t want to fail.
I rarelyyyy see videos abour ESTJs almost everybody hates us lmao... we didnt even do anything wrong ppl fail to realize its so hard being an estj already... lmao
I am an ESTJ, I feel lost a lot. I feel like I do not truly know who I am. I can identify most of my emotions but a lot of them still confuse me. For example, platonic and romantic love. I often can not tell which is which when I meet a new person because the emotions feel different for every person I meet some are more stronger than others so it confuses me when I meet a person that is stronger than I have met before.
@@robinjang9506 I glad that you commented, it is a relief to have proof that I am not the only one. I already know that I could not be the only one but it does not feel real till the proof is staring you in the face. So, thank you for commenting!
Thanks, my mother is an ESTJ Te/Ne. I see this mainly manifested by the fact that she isn't controlling really over other people. But she needs to know exactly what other people are doing and why they are doing it. It's quite funny actually, because I see her processing that information and making all kinds of childish observations of why people are doing what they are doing. And then through her Te she just decides that her Ne observations are the truth, that that's the way it is and she acts from those assumptions. And when someone calls her out on it she becomes defensive and insecure. And I think it's this insecurity that is actually holding her back in life. I think if she just chills a bit, do some meditation and yoga. And don't focus on other people so much, and be open that her Ne might be wrong sometimes, she would be so much more effective and happy, but nope. Te/Ne is extremely stubborn, closed-minded and insecure at the same time. When someone gives her advice she just assumes you are trying to attack her character.
@@joon_choco estjs can handle criticism even if it's harsh as long as it is practical. The only exception is when you attack their moral convictions and their principles. Criticizing an ESTJ's principles is seen as utter rejection of that person since an estj's views are derived from their principles.
Wow! This is so awesome! Finally, a Myers Briggs video on the ESTJ that doesn't tell you the same 30 things about what they typically prefer and don't. I have an ESTJ boss who I can't figure out to save my life. This is really helpful. Thanks!
My husband is an estj, and this could not be more true! It’s part of the struggle for me living with him. It’s also, his hardest struggle, after delving into mbti I actually learned a lot more about how to cope with his personality. I also agree, while he is a director at his company. He’s anything, but a mean person he helps everyone. To the point it takes him over, and he kills himself.
That sounds more like a real ESTJ! help him find how he feels about his job, do this through his thoughts (thinking) not feelings. If he can rationally see how he is hurting himself he will back off and lean more towards caring for himself, instead of investing so much into others.
totally agree, I don't like people getting emotional during argument cause they would start saying something that misses the point and their goal of argument is gonna be changed to hurting the opponent's feeling. However, if everyone is logical during argument, we will eventually find out what the best choice is for both of us and no one would get hurt
just found out i’m an extj, can’t determine if im intuitive or sensor however. this is scarily accurate. like you said, my fi demon has been SUCH a struggle throughout my ENTIRE life, and it feels like i just don’t know who i am despite living my life everyday, experiencing things and doing what i do. this video explains things in a way that i perfectly understand, unlike others that just confuse me and don’t help at all. thank you for this
Oh my god. This video has just made me realise why I keep going through all these identity phases. I’ve been in a TeNe loop for AT LEAST the past 2 YEARS. I’ve been falsely trying to solve this through boxing myself into a fixed identity (which is part of why I got into MBTI in the first place) but Ne keeps getting bored and wanting change, which is really out of character for me. As a child, I had very fixed interests, but I suffered some mental trauma that now explains my unhealthy functioning. Ne has caused me to want to gather as much knowledge as possible before pursuing any 1 path, and the sheer overwhelm of trying to work so quickly but having so many choices has only served to slow me down. Because I’m so scared of _looking_ like a failure (Ne conspiring with Fi) I’ve been doing my level best to try to warp my Si into an almost Se function to try to output this image of perfection that I just don’t have. My biggest mistake is not asking for help. I’m independent to my own detriment. At least now I have a start as to _why_ this has been happening. And why I keep getting mistyped as ENTP/ESTP when I know I’m an S/J type! THANK YOU. I mean it.
Yay, finally someone explaining how you can be an Ne user and still an ESTJ! Many descriptions of ESTJ's using Si to overly organise/control things, is nothing like me. I prefer gathering new ideas, and building something more productive from it, which many say is ENTJ type thinking. Until you came along with a better explanation! I think many ESTJs are misunderstood, or assumed to be ENTJ's.
I love ESTJs infact I love all personalities. It just shows how diverse people are. I have an ESTJ friend and he's amazing. I believe he's more Ne than Si but trust me he's a good friend and he's very reliable. ESTJs are very reliable and dependable people.
Again, wonderful video! I would put 2 million "likes" in it, if I could...! Finally I was able to get my mum's personality! She is an ESTJ that has as savior Te and Ne! It makes perfect sense to my mother and another friend, because we always related them with ESTP, but then they were not because we could see that they were extroverted Sentinels (ExxJ), but then they do not like to make strict plans or rules or to be controled (?!)... It was very confused for us to try to type them, and it was driving me crazy not being able to know... This video solved it all! And all this is explained by the fact that they favor Ne like me (Ne is my dominant function) above the Si! Their greatest fear is really to not feal valued by the Tribe... But they are so controling sometimes, that is difficult... How could we show that we value them (without having to submit to their over dominant orders / desires)?
The ESTJ is my hardest relationship. As an ESFJ, is this normal? I hate to use the word hate, but I ALMOST hate them. They are exhausting. When I live in the same house as one, I have to go to random parking lots and relax in my car instead of at home.
Renée Brent as an INFP with parents and sister as ESTJ, i honestly can't stand them. Which is weird because I want to believe goodness in everyone but They are just very demanding, (manipulative, if they're behaving worse) and expect highly of people that would sometimes be out of place. I was feeding my dogs and suddenly my sisters started berating on me for not doing it correctly. God, I try to avoid interaction with the as much as i could.
I'm an ESTJ and my mothers ESFJ, i have heaps of trauma wounds from my mother in childhood coz we clash so badly... So yes Ive found you have to work super hard on a relationship between these 2 types. Its Fe vs Fi problems. ESTJs find Fe doms so weird... we struggle to understand it, and Fe doms find Fi inferior users as uncaring/selfish so I've heard (coz of our lack of feeling awareness). Its not easy for our types to get along, it seems ESFJs cant see ESTJ version of caring for others, and ESTJs think ESFJs caring is self devaluing.. and will never approve of such destructive methods. Although the ESTJ will defend the ESFJ on a level that's profound when you befriend one, they see ESFJ blind spots when they are in danger, and keep you out of harms way at all times (they will take the hits for you). ESFJs are care-bears to ESTJs, who need defending (see you as a weaker personality). Sadly though ESFJs can manipulate/betray ESTJs and thats when the ESTJ will destroy the ESFJ coz loyalty/safety is very important to us.... life threatening to many ESTJs with childhood trauma wounds.
@@johndalenino Ive been best friends with every INFP Ive ever meet, so i find that strange to hear honestly... are you sure they are ESTJ? As an ESTJ i would never manipulate anyone, but ISTJs (who look a lot like us) can be very manipulative. Gotta be a super unhealthy ESTJ whose acting childlike for that to be true....Id say.. which Ive found isn't as common in ESTJs more come in ISTJs. Ask yourself this.. are they micro managing you Si dom? (ISTJ trait) or are they efficiency controlling you Te dom? (ESTJ trait) what do they value more? that's a great way to tell... look for their drive to reach goals. On that note my INFP friends dont like ISTJs typically either...haha... sounds very ISTJish...
the estj i know has the most crippling inferiority complex. its so bad, they feel threatened by anyone who does anything remotely as good as them. i cant stand to see them crumble like this. i need to help them
ESTJ here... a little late to the party. ESTJ is not synonymous with being a dick. The expectations an ESTJ puts on themselves are insane. It is a constant thought that never stops or slows down. The ESTJ makes very high standards for themselves, and when others can’t match those standards, it’s hard to process. “Why would you not give 110% at work.” “What do you mean you skipped the gym.” It’s not about being mean or judging others, it’s an inability to understand why others wouldn’t put in the effort you do. This is at work, your family and your love life. You think you hate an ESTJ...? You should see the battle going on in their head at any given moment. An ESTJ will exhaust themselves giving. And, when shit hits the fan and you need someone to slay post apocalyptic zombies, or join you in the trenches during war... there is no personality trait better! ;)
Damn, that's me. My emotions sometimes are a wreck, very strong, and that stumps me as well as concerns me. To compensate, I try to understand others' emotions and help them as much as I can. To avoid doing something for myself.
I recently found out I am an ESTJ due to the results a PSI test I took, and I do fear this a lot, but my current fear is failing at my new job, I recently became an Electrical instructor and man am I felling the stress and anxiety.
Ne fears? future danger fears? ESTJs tend to over plan with Si to prevent chaos.. to stop Ne fears of the future.. organising for potential dangers can help you out.. otherwise therapy is only solution ... try the work by Byron Katie "thought therapy" its wonderful for ESTJs great for accessing emotions through our thinking trait...
Working on my Fi...it's tough. How do you know yourself? I have spent a lot of time trying to figure that out. Also, who you are changes so it is a neverending process...
I hear it's actually more fruitful when you're young to focus on strengthening your dominant function and later in life you can then harness the power of your inferior function. It can actually be counterproductive to try and "skip ahead" with developing the inferior function before you've mastered the dominant, auxiliary, and tertiary! This was comforting for me to learn as an INFP because I thought I needed to completely forgo my Fi and work on Te but I've realized whenever I try to do that I completely lose my sense of self and feel even worse. So don't rush or force the process of self-growth and trust yourself more! I think if you rush anything, rush acceptance of self. Because what you accept you can move on from, if there is a part of you that you don't fully accept, you won't be able to move beyond that, at least not truly! Good luck!
I'm confused. What does Ne have to do with gathering or helping people? I thought Ne was about brainstorming ideas and forming connections between ideas. In all my years of MBTI, I've never heard of someone relate Ne with gathering/helping people. That would seem more like an Fe trait than an Ne trait.
In Objective Personality System, Ne is "gathering" concepts, possibilities, ideas, theories, potential patterns, etc., as opposed to Ni "organizing" those things. Similarly, Se is "gathering" facts, experiences & things in physical reality, whereas Si is "organizing" known sensory facts, information, experiences, memories of events, etc. With Ne serving Te (which is about problem-solving for the tribe), the Ne is used to "gather", collect, take in, generate, come up with or, as you said, brainstorm lots of possibilities for the purpose of finding solutions that help everyone in the tribe solve a problem. And the Te user is constantly trying to solve problems for the tribe in hopes that everyone will see them as valuable & "good enough" since they have inferior or "demon" identity/Fi & are quite insecure about who they are & how other people view them. They try to earn connectedness with the tribe by being useful. OPS has linked the functions with "human needs", based on Tony Robbins' work. - Di, introverted decider (Fi or Ti): the need for significance (making decisions for yourself) - De, extroverted decider (Fe or Te): the need for connection (making decisions for others) - Oi, introverted observer (Ni or Si): the need for certainty (organizing what you already have) - Oe, extroverted observer (Ne or Se): the need for variety (gathering in new)
im definetly a te/si. everytime i get frustrated/sad/angry and so on i always over analyze it to a crazy extend. to get some kind of answer and to improve lol
Hur Jannat estp are crazy doers always burning bridges but feeling kinda bad for it later but never thinking about others when they are doing their go go go go go go observing all kinds of shit always super bored need to be doing stuff or theyll go crazy
Hur Jannat entps are know it all assholes who always have to object or interrupt every statement somebody says because they think they know more or they just like arguing with people and they are natural rebels whos always against the rules but make plenty of there own. Hate to be controlled but insist on controlling everything around them. Always have to have last word.
As as ENTJ, I don't understand why our brain should process "feeling" in general. I can confirm with you, it's optimal when no feeling is involved in my decision-making process, and thus I am successful in thousands of topics, in a result.
Well, I'm an INFP and watching this because of my best friend, he's very likely ESTJ. He's in his mid-30s now, never had a job, still lives at his mums, is having suicidal thoughts, can't sleep, binge drinks,.... and he has no clue how much he fucked up and cannot share his feelings or thoughts on his own state at all, he can't even tell what he wants to do with his life. It's hurtful to see, because for his friends it's easy to see what's wrong and why he's so frustrated and what solutions there are - for him it's impossible, because he can't even make the first step of like asking for help, letting innovative thoughts in etc
@@BLoodyEx I hope things get better for him. I was very glad to grow up and start working toward my career but I've had times where I'm lazy and then get depressed. His mom probably should've given him an ultimatum years ago.
i'm going to let it out here because i think it's a good place to do it. not sure if anyone's gonna respond but whatever. also sorry for my english hvgghkyhkj i thought i was INTP because i thought having demon tribe meant fearing them and their opinions. i'm currently struggling a lot with the tribe, but not because they don't understand me, it's because i don't know how to please them anymore. i hadn't struggled with this until a few years ago. i feel like they hate me because i can't please them and i'm falling into this rabbit hole of fear because i don't know what to do about it. i don't know what can i offer them and how should i behave around them because i don't want them to think bad things about me. i've talked this with my parents and some friends and they just tell me to be myself but it's hard to put in practice because i get nervous and i end up just not talking and evading talking with people around me at school or in family meetings. is that ESTJ/ENTJ? or i'm just being an INTP caring about my image to the tribe? thanks for reading
also, i'm still 17 so maybe it's a dumb teenager problem but it's really something that's stoping me from doing a lot of things i would love to do, but don't because of people's opinion.
I think you're incorrect that they hate you. While it's good to try to be nice to people and do the right thing, they don't want you to be stressed out over it. That's one thing they mean by being yourself, don't be so stressed over others' opinions of you (or your perceived opinions that might not even be accurate). As for your personality type, 17 (or if you're 18 by now) is a little young to know your type for sure. You don't necessarily sound like an ESTJ. But as an ESTJ I can say I am happiest when I stay busy and feel as though I'm contributing and doing something I'm good at, and if you feel that way good news it gets better because as an adult you have more freedom and more responsibility (now I sound like Uncle Ben from Spiderman).
omg how do you know that that's scared me I always try to gather information to full my life and my feelings and my emotional states is my biggest problem
As an ESTJ, my fear is that people will see me as an imposter, so I tuck away the emotional parts - they cloud my judgement anyway, lol. Not necessarily because I have ego issues, but my purpose is to help others to be better and more efficient. It's HELLUH exhausting though 😅
How does one know if an estj loves them? My fiance is an estj and he likes to do all things for me as long as they have nothing to do with love or romance. He swears he cant put feelings into words. If he nonstop helps everyone, how can i know if he loves me? How does an estj view or show love?
My emotions seem to go up and down a lot and I recognize that can happen to anyone but I wonder if part of it is being an ESTJ and being not very in tune with why I'm feeling something? I'd agree my biggest fear is failure though I also have phobias like fear of public speaking, I'll do it but I get inexplicably nervous.
I admit it is very difficult to admit any feelings aside from anger (which is justified when others make clear mistakes and they are somehow okay with it :P)
I've NEVER understood why and how people can get "intimidated" by ESTJ-like people. I mean, this whole idea of ExTJ "bullying" and being "pushy" is BS. Everyone can be so in their own ways, not just ExTJs. The people I know who are ESTJ-ish definitely have something I appreciate: a CLEAN-CUT bottomline. And that bottomline is often about making things run according to whatever data/figures they have collected in their ancient books. For someone like me who tends to disagree with the minutiae of their bottomline, everything else that they do can only be the subject of a facepalming episode. Whether they complain, sulk, show off or bare their claws, they seem like some sort of caricature to me. I find it really hard to take these ESTJ-ish people I know seriously... :)
of course if I am extroverted it is awkward to figure who I am and what I like. After finding something I like I than go do I like this really? and why do I like this? My fear is who I am and what I am to become in the eyes of others and the thoughts in my mind. I am reading and learning about myself and its been a scary but exciting time of learning. Iv lived a lot of years with this fear keeping me reserved and tired but I am gaining all of this energy again from learning about who I am and that who I am is a curious and I will spend my life searching and looking at things. I feel like a lover of all and a knower of not much haha, getting a surgeof energy just thinking about something I havent heard about or done before.
To me, ESTJs have the fear of having to own up to their shortcomings to other people. Especially, to those who they have been critical to. In short, they are really bad at a sincere apology or even know why they have to apologize. Because that is equivalent to admitting defeat.
I'm an ESTJ who is very aware of my shortcomings, I don't know if that's an ESTJ thing though it might just be low self-esteem. I joke that I'm too self-deprecating, it's one of my many faults. And I apologize a lot but I'm trying not to be overly apologetic anymore because people don't appreciate that either.
Dave Superpowers: Listen here, you are ESTJ. I know this type intimately, because my brother is one. I love my brother and he is a very intelligent, responsible and excellent person. Remember, typing is easier when you don't know someone and you can more easily get a read on their so-called "vibe." If you don't agree, sue me. I'm NOT a licensed practitioner of any kind.
Oh yes! This is true. All these feelings you can't casp to reality..you know you don't like it when you have done it. But what is then the reality you like? Testing testing testing..and help more people in the mean time
Eyy, Dave ! Love your channel man! Super informative. I have a question. Im an estj and looking for a job. I really dont have anything special that i like to do. Do you think estj’ make good mechanics ? Im thinking about maybe getting into plumbing or something:)
I test ESTJ sometimes. I have been in auto mechanics for 10 years. But I'd rather sell the cars then fix them. Auto mechanics is great for Te. You get to fix a problem and see the results work. Trade work is great as well. But you will find out your interest or at least mine was more in the business side than the actual details and trade side. I am now trying to start another business. Just don't like working for people. I think with te main thing is they want to control their own destiny.
Thank God I don’t have an identity problem anymore now knowing I’m a child of God. Now I know for certain that my identity is what it always has been, caring for everybody else. 1 John 5:1 Whoever believes that Jesus is the Christ is born of God, and whoever loves the Father loves the child born of Him.
You still haven't explained the difference between T and F. I only know they're both helping people. Traditionally, only Fe helps people, Te do stuff for personal profit.
How is it going so far? :) i"m also an enfp dating an estj and i tend to obsess quite a bit about the fact that we are not a perfect match, but isn't that in itself another personality trait of an enfp? I think we should step back and stop overthinking, of course MNTI can help us understand each other but only to a certain degree. One of my fears is getting brushed over and feeling misunderstood in cases of conflicts, but i think it helps a lot to understand that we're just wired differently and will be able to LEARN a lot from each other :) enfp will calm down and be more rational, estj will gain empathy... just my guesses. Most important thing is to look in the same direction :)
Their biggest weakness is taking critisicm, being open minded and accepting they don't/ cant know everything . They seem to think I'll judge them if they expose themselves, I'm an enfp all I want to do is be your friend but you seem to put any roadblock in front of you so that we don't come near u. Honestly I feel like it's never gonna work. And no I don't hate you guys I have a great deal of respect to you, you just don't allow anyone to like you.
The world needs more narrow-minded, control freaks who have a presumed self-sense of high status, otherwise, who else would we have to laugh at behind their backs? #Tigermoms
As an ESTJ, my biggest fear is failing at anything. We know how we feel, we just don’t like showing it, because we think it’s being weak.
Yes!
Could you actually be an INFP?
"Crying won't solve anything"
Same (entj)
wtf no thats just toxic
As an estj my biggest fear is failure at anything I do. I feel like I not only have to win or succeed but to do it at such a level that there’s no doubt in anyone’s mind that I did a good job or succeeded. So I end up not trying certain things I’d otherwise like to give a shot from fear of not being good at them.
Same but ENTP. It’s gotten better over the years tho
I can relate, being an INFP. But sometimes you have to fail in order to learn. It's a really good thing to loose the fear of making mistakes.
As INTJ I will tell you that failure is part of the learning process on the way to success.
*INFP
Exactly
I am an estj and this is SO true. I believe in doing 100% and that also includes knowing about myself and what I want. I don’t want to fail and waste time and that makes me indecisive about my career line. I just worry about it too much because I don’t want to fail.
Who likes to fail duh
-infp
I rarelyyyy see videos abour ESTJs almost everybody hates us lmao... we didnt even do anything wrong ppl fail to realize its so hard being an estj already... lmao
Jk M two of my closest friends are ESTJ’s :)
As a estj ur comment annoyed me redo ur quiz bro
You are my most favorite type! ISTP
Who is ppl?
I hear you....ppl just dont understand us, all we do is help
100% my issue: life question of who I am and what I want to do, reading personality profiles, and just genuinely wanting to be happy through purpose.
Finally!! A good video about ESTJs!
I am an ESTJ, I feel lost a lot. I feel like I do not truly know who I am. I can identify most of my emotions but a lot of them still confuse me. For example, platonic and romantic love. I often can not tell which is which when I meet a new person because the emotions feel different for every person I meet some are more stronger than others so it confuses me when I meet a person that is stronger than I have met before.
Wow....me too...
@@robinjang9506 I glad that you commented, it is a relief to have proof that I am not the only one. I already know that I could not be the only one but it does not feel real till the proof is staring you in the face. So, thank you for commenting!
me too :(
Same
The longer I watch these videos, the more I find how much I don't know my friends.
Yes, they'll hide their weaknesses and in fact try to play them as strengths
Thanks, my mother is an ESTJ Te/Ne. I see this mainly manifested by the fact that she isn't controlling really over other people. But she needs to know exactly what other people are doing and why they are doing it. It's quite funny actually, because I see her processing that information and making all kinds of childish observations of why people are doing what they are doing. And then through her Te she just decides that her Ne observations are the truth, that that's the way it is and she acts from those assumptions. And when someone calls her out on it she becomes defensive and insecure.
And I think it's this insecurity that is actually holding her back in life. I think if she just chills a bit, do some meditation and yoga. And don't focus on other people so much, and be open that her Ne might be wrong sometimes, she would be so much more effective and happy, but nope. Te/Ne is extremely stubborn, closed-minded and insecure at the same time. When someone gives her advice she just assumes you are trying to attack her character.
Joey Try to talk to her gently.
Joey, my mother is exactly the same! :)
Wait I thought estj can handle criticism?
@@joon_choco estjs can handle criticism even if it's harsh as long as it is practical. The only exception is when you attack their moral convictions and their principles. Criticizing an ESTJ's principles is seen as utter rejection of that person since an estj's views are derived from their principles.
In what ways is Te/Ne insecure?
Wow! This is so awesome! Finally, a Myers Briggs video on the ESTJ that doesn't tell you the same 30 things about what they typically prefer and don't. I have an ESTJ boss who I can't figure out to save my life. This is really helpful. Thanks!
He might not be ESTJ at all, many people confuse ISTJs and ESTP for ESTJs often.... in my experiences
My husband is an estj, and this could not be more true! It’s part of the struggle for me living with him. It’s also, his hardest struggle, after delving into mbti I actually learned a lot more about how to cope with his personality. I also agree, while he is a director at his company. He’s anything, but a mean person he helps everyone. To the point it takes him over, and he kills himself.
That sounds more like a real ESTJ! help him find how he feels about his job, do this through his thoughts (thinking) not feelings. If he can rationally see how he is hurting himself he will back off and lean more towards caring for himself, instead of investing so much into others.
Im estj and I dont think I dont know who I am. Its all about logic if u deal with ESTJ people. They dont accept any excuses which make non sense
Hey. Your argument is great. I feel u miss
totally agree, I don't like people getting emotional during argument cause they would start saying something that misses the point and their goal of argument is gonna be changed to hurting the opponent's feeling. However, if everyone is logical during argument, we will eventually find out what the best choice is for both of us and no one would get hurt
Thank you! I rarely see videos on ESTJs. I have a character who is an ESTJ and this was very helpful.
just found out i’m an extj, can’t determine if im intuitive or sensor however. this is scarily accurate. like you said, my fi demon has been SUCH a struggle throughout my ENTIRE life, and it feels like i just don’t know who i am despite living my life everyday, experiencing things and doing what i do. this video explains things in a way that i perfectly understand, unlike others that just confuse me and don’t help at all. thank you for this
Oh my god. This video has just made me realise why I keep going through all these identity phases. I’ve been in a TeNe loop for AT LEAST the past 2 YEARS. I’ve been falsely trying to solve this through boxing myself into a fixed identity (which is part of why I got into MBTI in the first place) but Ne keeps getting bored and wanting change, which is really out of character for me. As a child, I had very fixed interests, but I suffered some mental trauma that now explains my unhealthy functioning.
Ne has caused me to want to gather as much knowledge as possible before pursuing any 1 path, and the sheer overwhelm of trying to work so quickly but having so many choices has only served to slow me down. Because I’m so scared of _looking_ like a failure (Ne conspiring with Fi) I’ve been doing my level best to try to warp my Si into an almost Se function to try to output this image of perfection that I just don’t have. My biggest mistake is not asking for help. I’m independent to my own detriment.
At least now I have a start as to _why_ this has been happening. And why I keep getting mistyped as ENTP/ESTP when I know I’m an S/J type!
THANK YOU. I mean it.
Yay, finally someone explaining how you can be an Ne user and still an ESTJ! Many descriptions of ESTJ's using Si to overly organise/control things, is nothing like me. I prefer gathering new ideas, and building something more productive from it, which many say is ENTJ type thinking. Until you came along with a better explanation! I think many ESTJs are misunderstood, or assumed to be ENTJ's.
I love ESTJs infact I love all personalities. It just shows how diverse people are. I have an ESTJ friend and he's amazing. I believe he's more Ne than Si but trust me he's a good friend and he's very reliable. ESTJs are very reliable and dependable people.
Thank you
Again, wonderful video! I would put 2 million "likes" in it, if I could...! Finally I was able to get my mum's personality! She is an ESTJ that has as savior Te and Ne! It makes perfect sense to my mother and another friend, because we always related them with ESTP, but then they were not because we could see that they were extroverted Sentinels (ExxJ), but then they do not like to make strict plans or rules or to be controled (?!)... It was very confused for us to try to type them, and it was driving me crazy not being able to know...
This video solved it all! And all this is explained by the fact that they favor Ne like me (Ne is my dominant function) above the Si!
Their greatest fear is really to not feal valued by the Tribe... But they are so controling sometimes, that is difficult... How could we show that we value them (without having to submit to their over dominant orders / desires)?
The ESTJ is my hardest relationship. As an ESFJ, is this normal? I hate to use the word hate, but I ALMOST hate them. They are exhausting. When I live in the same house as one, I have to go to random parking lots and relax in my car instead of at home.
Renée Brent as an INFP with parents and sister as ESTJ, i honestly can't stand them. Which is weird because I want to believe goodness in everyone but They are just very demanding, (manipulative, if they're behaving worse) and expect highly of people that would sometimes be out of place. I was feeding my dogs and suddenly my sisters started berating on me for not doing it correctly. God, I try to avoid interaction with the as much as i could.
yes, theyre easily the most hateable type. My boss is an ESTJ and regularly bullies us and makes many of the shy quiet girls cry.
@@jkm2048 I don't speak ebonics
I'm an ESTJ and my mothers ESFJ, i have heaps of trauma wounds from my mother in childhood coz we clash so badly... So yes Ive found you have to work super hard on a relationship between these 2 types. Its Fe vs Fi problems. ESTJs find Fe doms so weird... we struggle to understand it, and Fe doms find Fi inferior users as uncaring/selfish so I've heard (coz of our lack of feeling awareness). Its not easy for our types to get along, it seems ESFJs cant see ESTJ version of caring for others, and ESTJs think ESFJs caring is self devaluing.. and will never approve of such destructive methods. Although the ESTJ will defend the ESFJ on a level that's profound when you befriend one, they see ESFJ blind spots when they are in danger, and keep you out of harms way at all times (they will take the hits for you). ESFJs are care-bears to ESTJs, who need defending (see you as a weaker personality). Sadly though ESFJs can manipulate/betray ESTJs and thats when the ESTJ will destroy the ESFJ coz loyalty/safety is very important to us.... life threatening to many ESTJs with childhood trauma wounds.
@@johndalenino Ive been best friends with every INFP Ive ever meet, so i find that strange to hear honestly... are you sure they are ESTJ? As an ESTJ i would never manipulate anyone, but ISTJs (who look a lot like us) can be very manipulative. Gotta be a super unhealthy ESTJ whose acting childlike for that to be true....Id say.. which Ive found isn't as common in ESTJs more come in ISTJs. Ask yourself this.. are they micro managing you Si dom? (ISTJ trait) or are they efficiency controlling you Te dom? (ESTJ trait) what do they value more? that's a great way to tell... look for their drive to reach goals. On that note my INFP friends dont like ISTJs typically either...haha... sounds very ISTJish...
Oh goodnes... you pretty much nailed it at Te-Ne part.
As an ENTJ (same lead and last function with ESTJ), these videos feel like truth being slapped mercilessly directly on my face.
Thought I was an entp cause of the MB entj sterio types... If I had known this, there would have been no more guessing.
I dentity crises is my middle name. Its what ive been struggling with all my life! Now I know why is that, Thank you 😭😭🙏
I Pray things go better for you, that your life drastically improves since learning this info 🙏
the estj i know has the most crippling inferiority complex. its so bad, they feel threatened by anyone who does anything remotely as good as them. i cant stand to see them crumble like this. i need to help them
ESTJ here... a little late to the party. ESTJ is not synonymous with being a dick. The expectations an ESTJ puts on themselves are insane. It is a constant thought that never stops or slows down. The ESTJ makes very high standards for themselves, and when others can’t match those standards, it’s hard to process. “Why would you not give 110% at work.” “What do you mean you skipped the gym.” It’s not about being mean or judging others, it’s an inability to understand why others wouldn’t put in the effort you do. This is at work, your family and your love life. You think you hate an ESTJ...? You should see the battle going on in their head at any given moment. An ESTJ will exhaust themselves giving. And, when shit hits the fan and you need someone to slay post apocalyptic zombies, or join you in the trenches during war... there is no personality trait better! ;)
Damn, that's me. My emotions sometimes are a wreck, very strong, and that stumps me as well as concerns me. To compensate, I try to understand others' emotions and help them as much as I can. To avoid doing something for myself.
very nicely explained, made my life a bit better,thank you.
Too many options... brain is exploding...
I recently found out I am an ESTJ due to the results a PSI test I took,
and I do fear this a lot, but my current fear is failing at my new job, I recently became an Electrical instructor and man am I felling the stress and anxiety.
Ne fears? future danger fears? ESTJs tend to over plan with Si to prevent chaos.. to stop Ne fears of the future.. organising for potential dangers can help you out.. otherwise therapy is only solution ... try the work by Byron Katie "thought therapy" its wonderful for ESTJs great for accessing emotions through our thinking trait...
Working on my Fi...it's tough. How do you know yourself? I have spent a lot of time trying to figure that out. Also, who you are changes so it is a neverending process...
I hear it's actually more fruitful when you're young to focus on strengthening your dominant function and later in life you can then harness the power of your inferior function. It can actually be counterproductive to try and "skip ahead" with developing the inferior function before you've mastered the dominant, auxiliary, and tertiary! This was comforting for me to learn as an INFP because I thought I needed to completely forgo my Fi and work on Te but I've realized whenever I try to do that I completely lose my sense of self and feel even worse. So don't rush or force the process of self-growth and trust yourself more! I think if you rush anything, rush acceptance of self. Because what you accept you can move on from, if there is a part of you that you don't fully accept, you won't be able to move beyond that, at least not truly! Good luck!
I'm an estj, but I fully know who I am and what I like and dislike. My biggest fear is imperfection in all aspects.
I'm confused. What does Ne have to do with gathering or helping people? I thought Ne was about brainstorming ideas and forming connections between ideas. In all my years of MBTI, I've never heard of someone relate Ne with gathering/helping people. That would seem more like an Fe trait than an Ne trait.
In Objective Personality System, Ne is "gathering" concepts, possibilities, ideas, theories, potential patterns, etc., as opposed to Ni "organizing" those things. Similarly, Se is "gathering" facts, experiences & things in physical reality, whereas Si is "organizing" known sensory facts, information, experiences, memories of events, etc.
With Ne serving Te (which is about problem-solving for the tribe), the Ne is used to "gather", collect, take in, generate, come up with or, as you said, brainstorm lots of possibilities for the purpose of finding solutions that help everyone in the tribe solve a problem.
And the Te user is constantly trying to solve problems for the tribe in hopes that everyone will see them as valuable & "good enough" since they have inferior or "demon" identity/Fi & are quite insecure about who they are & how other people view them. They try to earn connectedness with the tribe by being useful.
OPS has linked the functions with "human needs", based on Tony Robbins' work.
- Di, introverted decider (Fi or Ti): the need for significance (making decisions for yourself)
- De, extroverted decider (Fe or Te): the need for connection (making decisions for others)
- Oi, introverted observer (Ni or Si): the need for certainty (organizing what you already have)
- Oe, extroverted observer (Ne or Se): the need for variety (gathering in new)
He just say "gathering" about Ne, the helping people is about Te
im definetly a te/si. everytime i get frustrated/sad/angry and so on i always over analyze it to a crazy extend. to get some kind of answer and to improve lol
I always thought I was INFP. I think I'm actually ESTJ. Most of the time I feel like sad pepe as I try to please everyone.
PLEASE DO ESTP FEARS!
so I can understand if I’m an estp or entp
Hur Jannat estp are crazy doers always burning bridges but feeling kinda bad for it later but never thinking about others when they are doing their go go go go go go observing all kinds of shit always super bored need to be doing stuff or theyll go crazy
Hur Jannat entps are know it all assholes who always have to object or interrupt every statement somebody says because they think they know more or they just like arguing with people and they are natural rebels whos always against the rules but make plenty of there own. Hate to be controlled but insist on controlling everything around them. Always have to have last word.
As as ENTJ, I don't understand why our brain should process "feeling" in general. I can confirm with you, it's optimal when no feeling is involved in my decision-making process, and thus I am successful in thousands of topics, in a result.
Well, I'm an INFP and watching this because of my best friend, he's very likely ESTJ. He's in his mid-30s now, never had a job, still lives at his mums, is having suicidal thoughts, can't sleep, binge drinks,.... and he has no clue how much he fucked up and cannot share his feelings or thoughts on his own state at all, he can't even tell what he wants to do with his life. It's hurtful to see, because for his friends it's easy to see what's wrong and why he's so frustrated and what solutions there are - for him it's impossible, because he can't even make the first step of like asking for help, letting innovative thoughts in etc
"I am successful in THOUSANDS of topics"
🤔
@@BLoodyEx I hope things get better for him. I was very glad to grow up and start working toward my career but I've had times where I'm lazy and then get depressed. His mom probably should've given him an ultimatum years ago.
i'm going to let it out here because i think it's a good place to do it. not sure if anyone's gonna respond but whatever. also sorry for my english hvgghkyhkj
i thought i was INTP because i thought having demon tribe meant fearing them and their opinions. i'm currently struggling a lot with the tribe, but not because they don't understand me, it's because i don't know how to please them anymore. i hadn't struggled with this until a few years ago. i feel like they hate me because i can't please them and i'm falling into this rabbit hole of fear because i don't know what to do about it. i don't know what can i offer them and how should i behave around them because i don't want them to think bad things about me. i've talked this with my parents and some friends and they just tell me to be myself but it's hard to put in practice because i get nervous and i end up just not talking and evading talking with people around me at school or in family meetings. is that ESTJ/ENTJ? or i'm just being an INTP caring about my image to the tribe? thanks for reading
also, i'm still 17 so maybe it's a dumb teenager problem but it's really something that's stoping me from doing a lot of things i would love to do, but don't because of people's opinion.
I think you're incorrect that they hate you. While it's good to try to be nice to people and do the right thing, they don't want you to be stressed out over it. That's one thing they mean by being yourself, don't be so stressed over others' opinions of you (or your perceived opinions that might not even be accurate).
As for your personality type, 17 (or if you're 18 by now) is a little young to know your type for sure. You don't necessarily sound like an ESTJ. But as an ESTJ I can say I am happiest when I stay busy and feel as though I'm contributing and doing something I'm good at, and if you feel that way good news it gets better because as an adult you have more freedom and more responsibility (now I sound like Uncle Ben from Spiderman).
Love the video!!
Can you please do the weakness of infj?
I want to understand my friend more (she is a infj, while i am a enfp)
Have a nice day!!
ESTJ - TE/NE here and this video couldn’t explain me any better. Thanks!
omg how do you know that that's scared me I always try to gather information to full my life and my feelings and my emotional states is my biggest problem
This is me!!! Holy Molly! I even had to go to therapy! AND I worry too much about failing that sometimes I don't even start🫤
Coming from an XSTJ (questioning ESTJ) I relate to this on another level 0:21
"Te - Ne" I guess this explains why ESTJs can get severely mystyped as ENTP.
Asteroidal Assassin And the other way around, no?
you really know me better than i know myself huh
Te's got some big blue balls.
Nice vid.
ThisIsntEvenMe HAHAHHAHAHHAAHHAHAHA MADE MY DAY
As an ESTJ, my fear is that people will see me as an imposter, so I tuck away the emotional parts - they cloud my judgement anyway, lol. Not necessarily because I have ego issues, but my purpose is to help others to be better and more efficient. It's HELLUH exhausting though 😅
How does one know if an estj loves them? My fiance is an estj and he likes to do all things for me as long as they have nothing to do with love or romance. He swears he cant put feelings into words. If he nonstop helps everyone, how can i know if he loves me? How does an estj view or show love?
I am ESTJ and recently found that my closest friends are all ESTJ or ENTJ. 😂
and here I am, trying to know about my ESTJ religion lecturer to work on our issue. -INFP-T
My emotions seem to go up and down a lot and I recognize that can happen to anyone but I wonder if part of it is being an ESTJ and being not very in tune with why I'm feeling something? I'd agree my biggest fear is failure though I also have phobias like fear of public speaking, I'll do it but I get inexplicably nervous.
1:29 like a TErex
I admit it is very difficult to admit any feelings aside from anger (which is justified when others make clear mistakes and they are somehow okay with it :P)
It's amazing that you make videos about all types!
I've NEVER understood why and how people can get "intimidated" by ESTJ-like people. I mean, this whole idea of ExTJ "bullying" and being "pushy" is BS. Everyone can be so in their own ways, not just ExTJs.
The people I know who are ESTJ-ish definitely have something I appreciate: a CLEAN-CUT bottomline. And that bottomline is often about making things run according to whatever data/figures they have collected in their ancient books.
For someone like me who tends to disagree with the minutiae of their bottomline, everything else that they do can only be the subject of a facepalming episode. Whether they complain, sulk, show off or bare their claws, they seem like some sort of caricature to me. I find it really hard to take these ESTJ-ish people I know seriously... :)
My brother is the poster ENTJ.
This is spot on.
of course if I am extroverted it is awkward to figure who I am and what I like. After finding something I like I than go do I like this really? and why do I like this? My fear is who I am and what I am to become in the eyes of others and the thoughts in my mind. I am reading and learning about myself and its been a scary but exciting time of learning.
Iv lived a lot of years with this fear keeping me reserved and tired but I am gaining all of this energy again from learning about who I am and that who I am is a curious and I will spend my life searching and looking at things. I feel like a lover of all and a knower of not much haha, getting a surgeof energy just thinking about something I havent heard about or done before.
To me, ESTJs have the fear of having to own up to their shortcomings to other people. Especially, to those who they have been critical to. In short, they are really bad at a sincere apology or even know why they have to apologize. Because that is equivalent to admitting defeat.
I'm an ESTJ who is very aware of my shortcomings, I don't know if that's an ESTJ thing though it might just be low self-esteem. I joke that I'm too self-deprecating, it's one of my many faults. And I apologize a lot but I'm trying not to be overly apologetic anymore because people don't appreciate that either.
Great video!
INFP & INFJ fears please!
My mbti is INFP and according to OP I'm probably ESTJ. The only problem is this description couldn't sound more foreign to me.
I like the voice speed
YYEEEEEEESSSS!!! I want nothing more than to answer those 2 pesky little questions: Who am I & What do I like ~ENTJ
Dave Superpowers: Listen here, you are ESTJ. I know this type intimately, because my brother is one. I love my brother and he is a very intelligent, responsible and excellent person. Remember, typing is easier when you don't know someone and you can more easily get a read on their so-called "vibe." If you don't agree, sue me. I'm NOT a licensed practitioner of any kind.
They don't have demon Fi! They have inferior Fi and demon Fe. Get your Jungian terminology right! ;)
its his own terms to make it a lot more intuitive and easy for people to understand
@@seignee disagree.
Thank you so much I don't like that word too. Because make us looks bad.
Which is the book by Jung where I can read about this "inferior" and "demon" concepts, please?
Can you do ISTJ next?
Oh yes! This is true. All these feelings you can't casp to reality..you know you don't like it when you have done it. But what is then the reality you like? Testing testing testing..and help more people in the mean time
This is why I thought I was an EJ :
P Jackson You are not alone.
So you're not an EJ? What are you then? :o
INTP CP/B(S). With EJ problems :p
@@pjackson7395 how do you know your type ?
Jesus the first two questions are scary true
Eyy, Dave ! Love your channel man! Super informative. I have a question. Im an estj and looking for a job. I really dont have anything special that i like to do. Do you think estj’ make good mechanics ? Im thinking about maybe getting into plumbing or something:)
I test ESTJ sometimes. I have been in auto mechanics for 10 years. But I'd rather sell the cars then fix them. Auto mechanics is great for Te. You get to fix a problem and see the results work. Trade work is great as well. But you will find out your interest or at least mine was more in the business side than the actual details and trade side. I am now trying to start another business. Just don't like working for people. I think with te main thing is they want to control their own destiny.
Actually, the ESTJ Demon Function is Fe, Fi is their Inferior Function. You might want to upload a corrected version of this video.
Can you please go into ENTJ’s more
Oh Dave, you are a genius!
Well this just depresses me 😩😫
All the ISTP's I know own companies. Companions not what you get from ISTPs, you work for them.
Ie tried to like my ESTJ housemate but I just cant
Excelent video about us! Finally something more accurate
Actually, my biggest fear is the dark
Okay, I’m lucky I have my team always win in P.E or I’d be thinking about how I lost the rest of the day
I did an escape room for the first time and it was fun and we won yet I was still thinking about things I could've done better afterwards lol
Great video!
My husband says its money issues 🙄 does that have anything to do with feelings?
Would you believe it is probably actually money issues? We tend to get too stressed over uncertainties like that and need to chill out sometimes.
Thank God I don’t have an identity problem anymore now knowing I’m a child of God. Now I know for certain that my identity is what it always has been, caring for everybody else. 1 John 5:1 Whoever believes that Jesus is the Christ is born of God, and whoever loves the Father loves the child born of Him.
ISTP and INTP desires? Something that is not fears would be interesting, too.
Infp looking at my shadow.
Do one like this on ENTJ
You still haven't explained the difference between T and F. I only know they're both helping people. Traditionally, only Fe helps people, Te do stuff for personal profit.
I feel Like Te is more concerned with "making things work" in a tribe setting.
My ESTJ does everything based on his Fi. He's a Te Ne, but his Fi is very obvious
i recently started dating an estj, and i think she's great, but the MNTI says im a bad match because im an enfp. How far do you think that's true?
How is it going so far? :) i"m also an enfp dating an estj and i tend to obsess quite a bit about the fact that we are not a perfect match, but isn't that in itself another personality trait of an enfp? I think we should step back and stop overthinking, of course MNTI can help us understand each other but only to a certain degree. One of my fears is getting brushed over and feeling misunderstood in cases of conflicts, but i think it helps a lot to understand that we're just wired differently and will be able to LEARN a lot from each other :) enfp will calm down and be more rational, estj will gain empathy... just my guesses. Most important thing is to look in the same direction :)
Dave Cross
this exactly I felt for the past months,
oh I'm estj with Fi😅
Yeah, this is nonsense. As a TEXTBOOK ESTJ, my ONLY FEAR is FAILURE! I 100% know who I am.
Please do ESFP Fears!!
still don’t know if i’m ISFP or ENTJ lol rip
ياليت فيه ترجمه
dear god this is so fucking good
Can you do my type next?
I know who I am, it's other people that have a hard time accepting it.
Not gather, propose solutions to the tribe
Their biggest weakness is taking critisicm, being open minded and accepting they don't/ cant know everything . They seem to think I'll judge them if they expose themselves, I'm an enfp all I want to do is be your friend but you seem to put any roadblock in front of you so that we don't come near u. Honestly I feel like it's never gonna work. And no I don't hate you guys I have a great deal of respect to you, you just don't allow anyone to like you.
Wow this is scary accurate !!!
4:00 So INFP is irresponsible and forced? Ouch!
No it depends on placement of saviour demon functions
Can u do ISTJ?
The world needs more narrow-minded, control freaks who have a presumed self-sense of high status, otherwise, who else would we have to laugh at behind their backs?
#Tigermoms
I think my boyfriend is estj but, im not quite sure.