Why you shouldn’t be a “good girl” | Camilla Lundin | TEDxStockholm
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- Опубликовано: 21 сен 2024
- The one compliment I do not like is “good girl”, says entrepreneur, tech investor and equality advocate Camilla Lundin. By treating boys and girls differently we discourage girls from taking risks, so they are less likely to become entrepreneurs. Governments can only go so far in promoting equality but we can all help by replacing “good girl” with words like “strong” and “persistent”.
Camilla is an entrepreneur, co-founder of Qalora Capital focusing on fundraising through international investor networks, a coach for women starting companies at Qalora Growth, ranked among Sweden’s top 25 “Future Female Leaders 2019” by Ledarna, and started Sweden’s largest female career network on Instagram @businessanddreams! She leads by example and hopes to inspire more women to become entrepreneurs!
Find out more about why there are fewer female entrepreneurs at #TEDxFastForward when Camilla takes the stage to share her ideas about equality and female entrepreneurship in society. This talk was given at a TEDx event using the TED conference format but independently organized by a local community. Learn more at www.ted.com/tedx
Being a good girl is so detrimental. People use it to control you, you can’t set boundaries because you’re afraid you’ll be “bad” or perceived as bad when in fact you are just telling people what makes you uncomfortable. I’m not going to raise my daughter to be a “good girl” she’s going to be true to herself and if someone makes her uncomfortable then respectfully walk away, don’t endure abuse to make other people happy. Guard your energy.
A good girl is usually a narc mother raising an empath daughter she has the understanding she’s dealing a hurt child in her mother.
“We tend to ask women how they’re not gonna lose, and men, how they’re gonna win” sadly true
So true i really hate this thing
Facts
we aint the same
This good girl syndrome nearly ruined my life. From now on I'm going to stand up for myself!
It ruined my life too
Same here.
same
I was raised as a good girl which really get me into self doubt often .Getting approval from all , being quiet , kind , good all the time and mostly refusing to take risks ...all these qualities don't matter at all and they're really exhausting 😣. I'll allow my child ,whether a boy or girl, to become anything they want and I don't wanna expect them to be perfect. We must introduce gender equality right from our home .
Amen
I have ALWAYS hated this sentence and I knew for a fact there was a reason! My instincts never failed me, what a wonderful speech, I love those powerful speeches women give to encourage eachother❤️ I almost teared up when she said “call her strong, call her persistent, brave” I rarely hear those words said to me, most of what I hear as a “complement” is : “you are almost there work a little harder” or “do it better I know you can”, I rely my success on my self, and I do it for me, because I am the only one who calls me strong
This is so true! I realized recently. Being a good girl is a socities way to tell us to be docile so that they can dominate. That's all it is about.
I despise being called “good girl” with all my heart. Glad to see I’m not the only one.
Exactly
I am suffering from good girl syndrome right now . Although i now every thing about my pattern but still it is very difficult to rewire our brain . I often find myself pleasing every one, not taking risk ,worrying about what
Others will think about me etc . I really want to be just a ' person ' . No prefix . I want to be anything i want to become
Just focus on your goal n earn money that's it bcs money is the biggest power in this kalyug ⚡
I Hear You 😣😩 This is what i have discovered: If you care what other people think, it means that you believe them, but ask yourself: who knows me more?
Who lived and lives my life? Who is the protagonist of my life?
Nobody says it, but the people who would not accept who you are, or would not approve what you want to do or choose, (your goals and all that), they would not because they do not even do it with themselves, the fear is theirs, not yours, if you make someone else's fear your own, you will have no place for your dreams, your goals, your decisions. And Probably that is why you listen to what they say, that is why, perhaps, why you believe them. Their fears are thistles on your feet, they do not let you advance, taking them out will hurt, but only then will you achieve your Freedom. Will hurt because to achieve it one has to be free from oneself (to be free from your old self).
Most people live as if they are not the protagonists of their own life. Do not be one of them.
This video deserve so much more views.we need more people seeing this
Yh becasue it's so wrong to start acting badly just cuz if u act good others will take advantage of you SO WHAT you should still try your best to do the right thing as humans it's very important we serve and put others before ourselves, in fact God before others, then ourselves at last.
It was a very meaningful speech. Thank you so much for thinking about us! 🤗😊
Yay! The one complement that didn't make me cry, now makes me question my whole personality!
Thank you, Camilla Lundin, for spearheading or making more obvious this needed conversation. ❤
It's been a few years ongoing, and I've realized I am the 'good girl' in the public eye who keeps failing the standards and structures, this mostly being known to those that are opportune to view or know my private affairs. Now, having struggled with the feelings of "not good enough" and trying not to succumb to the 'righteousness' or condemnation or the "ways things must be done", I'm constantly reminded by God, myself, realities and a very few real persons that I must be assertive and be unapologetically true to my uniqueness and life purposes, even if I seemingly and eventually become the "bad girl".
A fantastic speech! You are so brave and wise👏🏼
Как избавиться от комплекса "хорошей девочки":
1.Нужно прожить боль отвержения/одиночества
2.Избавиться от убеждения:"Если я буду хорошой, то со мной ничего плохого не произойдёт".
3.Нужно отказаться от идеи полезности для других. Нужно самой научиться хвалить себя и поощрять.
4.Избавиться от страха изменения своей жизни
5. Придумайте тот образ, как-будто какую часть вы в себе подавили.
Тренируй себя в слияние с этим образом.
👏 👍🏾
I agree, we should try to treat girls and boys growing up more equal. That goes both ways, in all ways. I do believe that one of the biggest reasons there are more men in venture capital is that they tend to be willing to take more risk, which is both cultural AND biological.
" and when a girl get the new job she applied for, don't call her good girl.. Call her brave" ♥️
what I learned from this treat my future daughter harder. don't go easy on her and it also encouraged me to learn about mental health not to make a business or anything just for my future family I am gonna make and also my body language because the things Camila is saying are totally right but the thing that would have made it more powerful would be her body language
I relate to every bit of it. I was feeling it right now when i watched this video.
Thank you for an inspiring speech. I am going to share this with my women's groups!
Being good is extremely difficult, we have got good days and bad days. Unfortunately I cannot behave my best in my bad days. We have to respect ourselves first...
the best video i have ever seen , i always had a question why they arent more women entreprenuers
and the answer is mindblowing
lots of love from india Camilla ludin.
Thank you, awesome video 👌 An important lesson I will keep in mind while raising my daughters.
Love this, so proud to call you my sister! ❤️
very true...... all we are taught and trained is to become a good girl and please every human on earth so they have nothing to complain about but at the eod you are not a single bit happy nor satisfied !!!!
Other thing that my family put in my head is always to be a good girl by always smiling, always say it's ok and it's fine, no problem, accept whatever they want to do or say. Keep quiet. I grew up like that and it ruined my career.
This has to change, we, women, have to change.
She is so comfident
So insightful.Beautiful
Just in time for me ! Just in time ❤
How do I stop?!
this is beautiful ❤️ i need to stop being a good girl that pleasing everyone and finally at the end i get exhausted and frustrated.
This is amazing!
Wow this is mind blowing, thank you so much😍
Powerful!
I will not be calling my daughter good girl anymore
Superb !!! It’s time for change 🙏
i'm surprised at how little views this has. we need more people to see this. and by more people, i mean more women.
Great talk. Thank you.
Härligt Camilla! Så jäkla grym du är!!! Heja dig!!!!!
Great.
My teacher said i wasnt good that didnt stop me
I Love This
Amazing Talk!! and So TRUE :)
She's georgous in that red dress !
👏👏👏yes!
"there usually one right answer" sounds like mathematics
That’s why I hate math🤣🤣🤣
Nice speech at the end...
Wow👍
So good!!!
☹☹ thats true. 😥😥 yes woman speak. Make feminists army.
😍😍😍😍😍damn I'm proud of you
Jävlar Camilla :) You go girl mvh Rasmus från önnered
❤❤❤❤❤❤❤
Im from America. Love this woman. But cant say her being up there with heels and a dress talking about leading starup companies doesnt make me jealous. I got sexist burned in Los Angeles for trying to be an editor. Happy for her success though.
I wish she would call me a good girl
Why does this have so less views..?
Everyone likes a good girl, it's the "nice girl" that are unwanted.
👍👍
Bad girls are better🙃🙃
No one is bad the girl who's act bad they're frustrated in their life circumstances make them bad but deep inside they all want respect
Depends what you mean by bad girl.
I think assertive is the appropriate term here.
Why are men in comments section scared ??
Sad that there are no men in the comments section.
@@roshnik5137 😂😂
💜🌹🕊
She sounds so fake or scared cant listen no more. Sorry 😮😢
She hasn’t got any tights on
The Big FIVE psychology of traits is the basis for differences. The more egalitarian the culture, like Scandinavia the greater the differences between men and women. We're different. This is tiresome and unscientific.
Normal people want to be with good people. Nobody needs bad guys/girls…
She’s not wearing any tights
Cry alone after 35😂😂
H
Nt only quite girls are gd .... 👍
'Where are all the women?' in a safe home doing dishes.
It's not safe anymore she's living with toxic parents who waiting her for getting married 😕
I’m not one of those women, we shouldn’t have to be ‘safe’ all the time lmao
While men are take risks and investing, women are looking after the kids, cooking and cleaning the house. She could have a career as well but don't have enough time to do it all.
I haven't actually watched any of this I came to say actually you should be a good girl if you're a girl and if you're a boy you should be a good boy. Everyone should try harder to be good, talk good, have a good heart, and do the right thing. Also remember tho "none is good but one and that is God"-Holy Bible. We should try very hard to be good keeping in mind no one is good and we all still need to repent of our sins to Jesus.
Hey please watch then right down anything 😖
You should watch the video and then form an opinion. She isn’t saying people should be bad, but people use the word “good” to control girls behavior and make us more pleasing to others while sacrificing ourselves.
If she wants to be a bad girl, come and see me and she'll never want to be good ever again!, lol!
She's not bad society make her bad idk how to explain you women want one thing respect