Why being told I had a ‘BAD ATTITUDE’ messed me up! | Michelle C. Smith
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- Опубликовано: 31 май 2023
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Very well said, "DO NOT NEGOTIATE WHO YOU ARE" - Brené Brown...in martial arts they say empty your cup, but it never meant to loose your self...
Right there with you! Kid (and teen and grown) me really needed to hear this. I've always loved playing about in the woods and swinging about sticks since I was a whee thing...but so many people around me told me it was weird and not okay...so I forced myself to pretend that wasn't who I was, and it took me until my mid 20s to finally stop and say "I'm not hurting anyone and I'm having fun so sod the lot of you!" 7 years later and I'm working in forestry in Scotland, playing about in the woods all day! And finally at age 31, after watching your videos for 5 or 6 years now, I went and got myself a cheap broom handle a few months ago and started staff spinning. And I love it! I've still got work to do, but I'm getting there. So thank you so much for all the tutorials, and all the positivity, and just for being so openly you ❤🏴
👏👏👏👏👏
Keep it up, don't let people define you, as you everytime show respect, they have to respect you back :) you are you.
As a dad I thank you for sharing. I have to remember the words I use matter and it's about supporting them in there dreams.
This hits deep. For some reason whenever I practise my staff spinning I am able to let my emotions flow and I’m able to monologue to myself every problem I have described perfectly. But the moment I need to explain it without my staff words go bye bye
Michelle is an amazing person. The best coach I've ever had (online coach!! who gave me more than all the other coaches in 28 years) An amazing bright emotional person!!! you gave me a lot in a difficult 2020, gave me a new family, sincere communication and gave me a new favorite hobby. THANK YOU, my life has gained a lot of new colors, I am very grateful to Michelle!!!! I love you 💖😍😀
Thank you!❤️
I love how you can do all that with your staff, lightsaber, baton, etc. However, you’re also a very interesting person. You’re in stunt work, you instill creativity and talent in others, you’re articulate, and you’re brave enough to face such toxicity and still strive to move forward in spite of it. I think that, it takes a great attitude to accomplish what you have and those people can suck a lemon (a really sour one). Stay awesome, Michelle! 👏👏👏
Totally agree!!!
I use to often hear " if you have a problem with everyone maybe your the problem " then I realized what if you a person that just don't feed into BS that you can see right thru... Stay strong Michelle✌
Powerful words, thanks for the insight into things people may carry
My oldest niece used to compete in baton twirling at the national level. I attended several competitions in various states to support her. I was honestly shock an appalled at the way those girls had to dress and everything they had to go through. She found other interests in her mid teens and I was glad of that. I am proud of the woman she has become, but I do wish I had this video 15 years ago. I think you would have been a great role model for her.
Once a bad attitude, now a bad ass. I love it when a plan comes together!!
You are the absolute amazing woman I've ever seen in my life. Always be the way you are 'cause you're just so awesome.
That, right there, is someone who's lived a hard life but lived it thoughtfully and now knows who she is and what she wants to be. Respect.
I also love how you're nearly always twirling when you talk. It's like twirling is part of the way you communicate.
Kids today grow up with participation trophies, parents who reason with 5 year old, teachers who tolerate classroom misbehavior and doctors who categorize child misbehavior as a drug-treatable condition. It's the opposite side of the spectrum - yet, like us in our youth, kids still feel misunderstood. This leads to child push back / rebellion, which may not be a bad thing because, according to something i read, a child's tendency to rebel against their parents is a natural means of motivating them into becoming independent. When they no longer see the parental figure as all-knowing, they will start looking for their own answers. But that transition is a struggle for both child and parent as they try to redefine their new roles. This leads me to believe - and I'm speculating based on observations and readings - that we are naturally wired to feel misunderstood, regardless how we are raised.
The Skill Level to vent and Tell a Story and show off her baton skills.😮
Your story hit me so hard. I had a similar situation as you (different sport) My defense was 180 degrees different from you. I just quit and withdrew from almost everything. Even today I have immense struggles in almost any team setting. In my adult life I've just managed to hide it better. I completely feel you on this. Thank you.
I get your feeling, i had similar situations as a kid for example moving every school year, new school, new teachers, new home, new everything. With huge part of my life left behind every single time. I've been said "don't be a kid", "you gotta grow up", "you don't need your toys, anyway, I AM paying for it", "don't be mean", "don't be childish", ...
Small part of the result, i don't remember names, i don't have friends from my school years, i have a hard time trying to show people when they are valuable to me.
I am 37, and i find that Michelle, you are totally right; it's hard but you are doing it so well, don't change anything :)
I know it's a video, but i see truth and some "old pain" in your eyes; That made part of building up the great women you are.
Thank you for the boost you are giving to a lot of your vewers with that message.
BTW sorry for any approximative English
Dear Michelle! I hope all this trauma and depression of feelings have found a way of acknowledgement and expression! We love you who you are and how you are! We thank you for sharing with us all this art, passion and talent! We love your attitude! It's not bad, it's bursting forward to go deeper to the way things (and people) work and exist!
Keep in touch with those who accept you, whenever you need anything from Greece's side, let me know!
I was told that I had a bad attitude as a youth. Mostly by people that I disagreed with their opinions the rest were those whom I refused to kiss their asses. I realized if you live your life to please others everyone loves you. If you chose to be the person you want to be your attitude is questionable.
Billy Joel said the same thing about teachers... you can look back and enjoy the last laugh.
My daughter was going through the same thing when we had her in catholic school. In public school. The same school her mom went to , the first day she got in " trouble" ... an older teacher informed her that , her mom was a problem kid ... she was caught stealing cigarettes from that teachers purse. It was great when she mentioned that in front of Grandma and Grandpa... the veil of the perfect " when l was your age" fell completely. We watch your posts often and l offered her karate lessons , at 16 she said she is too old ... could you please consider a "pep" talk post around that ? Thank you.
So glad that you identified that issue and aren't still carrying it around wondering what is wrong with you. Is is nothing wrong with being who you are and having the feeling that you do. Good for you !
Thank You Michelle, this video really speaks to me! Your strength and honesty give me hope. Thank You!
Only thing bad about you is badass and this video has cemented that you’re our queen of badassary. Thanks for sharing Michelle
And that's how you become a Jedi!
I definitely needed that. Perfect timing ::heart emoji::
......(that was freakn' awesome)
When I had to move to Germany as a kid, and then grow up on the German economy, I had to bottle up my emotions. Because when I had a problem of being bullied, I got help from nobody, and all my mother would say that I shouldn't exaggerate it. If there was something she took as common knowledge, that I didn't know about, then she would berate me of why I am not learning this in school. And I am leaving out the juicy parts of what I went through, that made me a stereotypical loner/nerd.
The bottom line... I am damaged goods. The only reason I haven't gone postal or killed myself, is because I have a great wife who supports me.
Also helped that I went to therapy a few times when the going got tough. Trust me when I say that the "quiet ones" are the ones to worry about.
At this point in life, I wish I had that type of "Bad Attitude" back then.
I'd like to sit and have a beer with you, so we can both share war stories about this shit. Thank you for making this video! There are alot of us out there that feel this way due to these types of experiences.
You know I would add that most people that have attained a level of expertise and skill such as yourself tend to have something or things that have stuck with them. A 'thing' that drives them to attain greatness that separates them from everyone else because they aren't like everyone else. For example, Stallone once said, he knew he had to develop his body because he knew people wouldn't come out to see him perform Shakespeare. Stallone also said that he was made fun of because of his first name sharing that of a silly cat. One thing is for sure, he will live forever and it isn't because of his "silly name" or the way he talks.....ok maybe the way he talks but it will be an iconic impression of a legend! You do you!
Thank you. We live in a culture where we increasingly tell other humans that its bad and wrong to be what humans are. Have feelings. Cry. Resistance to conformity based strickly on dominance alone. Creative people are a marginalized group.
I don't even know how to describe where I'm at with this. It's like I carry every contrary opinion to anything I've ever wanted to do with me anywhere I go with it. Or I've taken direction from people like coaches etc. who took me away from being able to do things in ways that I was able to do them and have ruined me on things. And absolutely nobody did a thing for me in helping me establish boundaries against this cause everyone just acts like you're closed-minded or have some kind of 'attitude'.
Or "show your work" shit in school was fun. Bet I'd be able to do math better now if I was ever left to just answering things without being subservient to some process or another about it.
I did understand that I couldn't thrive with 'their' attitudes, but literally nobody has had a smart thing to say to me as to why and now I'm 41 and learning from Twitter that I'm probably autistic. Maybe. And then my homelife was not ideal to this either.
Not really gender fluid, just never really cared. I can like guy things but liking them to be a guy seems stupid. Just feels like a dumb thing to put deliberate effort into.
Now I'm looking at all kinds of health problems due to this and saber spinning is one of the few things keeping me sane. That and my cat. And I have a deal of younger coworkers that are easy to talk to on things like this. That helped with some more identification with possible autism.
Just fully under it with all of this. And then trying to figure some way to make a few bucks on the side with sabers cause it gets some people interested to see what I do even if I'm still mid, lol. Just wish these things were easier to shop for and if my brain could settle on the simple types for spinning, or the pixel guys with sexy hilts. I vibe hard on all the colors and sounds. 😅
Michelle you are a shining example for talented people so many times I heard similar things and today I still struggle with the stage fright it gave me but I like you will overcome all my fears and flaws and I hope to be a better person for it! You are a badAss talented super cool person and we love you!
I wish you had not experienced that as a kid. I lived through a similar childhood, and the the people telling me not to have a bad attitude were harming me and didn’t want me to resist and complain about it. You are awesome BTW!
Always been told I can't do anything or literally tricked if I've ever trusted anyone.
I trust myself though and love seeing others do well.
I guess it taught me resilience I've still got issues with trust though.
I am a martial artist, but I love your very good feeling for sticks and lightsabers. I am impressed by the flow of your movements. You can see all the training and hard work. My respect for that.
Small amount but HUGE thanks for sharing♡♡♡
I feel you, I got still on going eating disorders from gymnastics... To this day it still shocks me everytime I realize adults are just lost kids pretending to be grown ups that never quite figured out how to do this properly because they are just carrying a huge load of trauma and passing it on to the next generation without realizing it or even worse, knowing what they are doing... instead of doing the adult grown up thing and learn from mistakes made and work on healing (which is the most difficult part) in order to not pass on said traumas and repeat same mistakes made to them. It's hard, but I'm amazed at how people seem to seek to find more ways to make it even harder.... maybe it's just me, and I'm saying nonsense like I've been told most of my life cause I was always the problem, not them 😂
I wanna hug you so much right now!
Excellent Video Thank you for Uploading i enjoyed you and Bad Attitude is Savage though im kindness and compassion
Sure
Hey Michelle! Missing the cat vids.😉 So happy that you've succeeded in spite of your troubles. But Happy Pride! Can't keep up with spinning because my lymphoma beacame bone-marrow cancer (myoloma). I too am non-binary in Hamiltom. Started Btgtg transitioning 20yrs ago until our neighbor attacked my dad 6 weeks after his quint bypass. (He's fine. Police forced neighbour to move.) By the time I restarted, I'd developed non-Hodgkins Lymphoma. And hormones make my tumours swell. I'm sad that my light-sabring is curtailed, but take so much joy from watching you be seriously awesome! Happy Pride month! 🌈
It's been a minute since I have watch one of your videos. I needed this one!
One of the first things I loved was the obvious non conformist. I resonanted with the bad attitude.
During lockdown and the stupid years your bad ass attitude was broadcast.
I thank all that made it be.
I have learned an invaluable skill from you, thank you from my heart. I live my daily walk and spins. Not only is it great exercise, every day is leg day when you squat properly to pick the stick up.
When someone jumped the fence and came at me with a screwdriver, I was not helpless.
I thank you every day for my new skill.
Bless your non conformist socks.
Much ❤
&ré
Both a life coach and a movement coach, you’re a superstar Michelle! I’m gender non-conforming (drag queen😁) person too, and I found out that if you have confidence in who you are as a person and your talents as well, the world will applaud you in the end; at least the people who matter. And your talents are without a doubt worth a standing ovation. You did it, and you should be so proud!! I’ve recently started fire spinning, and I’ve learned so much from you. I believe that I can be a superstar too because of your gifts. Keep on rocking the world🤘Much love from the Netherlands
❤️❤️❤️
💛Thx, Keep shining.
I get it. As someone who has always felt like they didn't fit in I get it. Also as an instructor of a lot of young people with this sort of thinking I get it. However I also believe in balance. If we do not have balance in how far down this path we go we will not get along in this world. We still have to survive and sometimes that means putting our feelings on the shelf and just getting the job done. Is what it is..........life.
Performance arts competitions can really take a toll on a young kid. There’s so much emphasis on external validation that individual preferences are disregarded for the sake of the performance. Just know most of us appreciate you and your work.
Better to be hated for who you are than to be liked, loved or tolerated for what you are not.
Sometimes it’s those we trust most that let us down. While unfortunate, in the end it makes us stronger. Look at you now 👍
У нас есть песня со следующими словами:"нас бьют, мы летаем". Вы, Мишель, дарите нам неподдельные эмоции, страсть, виртуозное владение своими предметами, уроки. Ваши личные тренировки указывают на то, что не всё сразу получается. Нужно упорство в достижении цели! Вы, Мишель, приближаете нас к нашим маленьким и большим победам. Мне скоро 70 и я иногда беру деревяшку и пытаюсь повторить хоть что-то из ваших вариаций. Это так классно! У меня отдельный плейлист с Вами. Я люблю даже просто смотреть их. Чем бы Вы не захотели заниматься, то, что Вы уже вложили в наши головы, остаётся навсегда с нами, у ребенка или взрослого. К тому же записи можно пересматривать сколько угодно! Желаю Вам душевного равновесия и счастья! Оставайтесь собой!❤️✌️🌹🌹🌹😀
@@gakarelina2038
I’m sorry, I can’t understand you
I love your attitude 💕
Always hard to unscramble ourselves from our experiences. Gg
I think all worthwhile philosophy comes from musing on our pain and who we are while we are "in the zone" of our hobbies. Thank you for sharing your thoughts. I'd be curious to know what you think really makes a person "good" or "bad", like just in your opinion and what you value. I find it's easy to feel "bad" when we haven't defined it for ourselves, when we inherit a definition. Maybe, when you lay out what is good and what is bad, you'll see how you fit with your ideals, to either bring comfort for doing a good job, or give you goals to improve
I’m a 46 year old man , all of the sudden I want to take up baton twirling. That looks so therapeutic 😵💫
Well said.
😂 I just wanna hug her ... 😂
Thank you.
Random question from another Scottish fan🏴- Any opinion on the way Jackie Chan was trained as a kid?
Your content / life is so interesting!
My mom did that. I think its why all of my brothers and me did martial arts. All staff using sword swinging kids. Our house was nuts. Oh and I broke so much glass on my parents cars and on their house. My poor parents.
If that was true, then me having a bad attitude is a curse to everyone else who made become the demon haha
Every generation screws up the next generation in some new and exciting way... Recovering from childhood trauma gives you something to do as you progress through adulthood. If you're lucky, you'll realize early that the only validation that really matters is the self approving of how well you react to the world and not how well the world reacts to you.
Queen
Love you 💔❤️🔥❤️
Never understood how folks don't understand what sort of effect this kind of thing has on young people. It's really damaging. And have lost count of the number of girls that have related similar stories. It's monstrous. The only thing I can suggest is when you see an adult doing this to a kid, for goodness sake say something to the adult. And encourage the kid. Hey you ended up awesome right? They can too!
You didn't have a bad attitude. They just didn't like the one you had. Part of growing up is learning to be your own person. Sometimes that takes a while. Part of that Woke crap is people not knowing how to have their own opinions and not conforming to someone else's opinion. That takes inner strength. The Sound of Freedom is a case in point. Not the movie so much as what it is doing to people in Hollywood. Mel Gibson was telling something about it and that was just the thought going through my head as he was speaking. No one else knew how to be their own person.
Just came across your "full circle staff spinning video and decided to check out some more. I'm 72 and have been spinning for a couple of years now. It's not so strenuous that I wear myself out but it does keep me moving. My first staff was some broom handles... mango wood. I picked the two straightest pieces I could find and started with the help of a few YT tutorials. You go girl! Do what you love.
👏👏👏👏👏
❤❤❤😊
I can see that.
Cool you
Hello. Michelle I recived notification That I won something, but I am not sure of this is you or just some kind of scam I am not sure...Can you confirm that?
40 years. Still don't give a damn what boomers say.
Tôi thích em
Your a regular Twirler 😉💪🤠🌺
I'm out.
Could you please talk faster? I can't understand what you are saying at .25 speed.
those adults were right tho, u do have bad attitude.
Bad attitude? Or badass? Hmmmm...
The whole gender thing has really gotten out of hand in America I think
Good thing u didn't turn in2 a boy.....lol
My dad taught Me the gun, the rifle... I won't say exactly what... but for what I was taught you don't wear pink frilly dresses. My dad never bought Me a pink frilly dress... My dad bought Me camo and black clothing: My dream was to be a Olympic sports shooter.
My dad never told Me I had a bad attitude, it's all the men around Me, that see Me as every other female, that told Me I have a bad attitude. My dad told Me they would do this: as it was a Canadian thing against Americans: and he was right. I never thought I was bad... I just know Canadians are taught to worship male kings: hence carry a great deal of mysogamist and sexist ideologies against females.
I'm not a lesbian, but you are not hated by Me. I love most people over hate most people as I am Love.
I feel like we're not getting the whole picture about your story Michelle. Someone doesn't just tell you at random " you have a bad attitude" because they want to mess up your mind. If you have a short temper because you keep messing up in training no matter how hard you're trying and you're at a brink of giving up, then someone may say that to tell you to change your mindset. Be careful about making stories like this. People may start to perceive you as a "pick me" girl with victim mentality when you make invalid stories like this.
You had me all the way up to the woke nonsense. Then I stopped listening
Think you mean you went back to sleep? Since you dont want to be...awake?
Quit your whining, it wasn't even all that woke. I take it you're one of those people who think the entire pizza is ruined because it has one burnt bit on the edge and then annoyingly tell everyone about it for the next week?
@@yougottateachyoself whatever helps you get through the day
@@yougottateachyoself pretty sure the op is referring to agreeing to reality rather than mental illness.
What woke nonsense?
Real talk Lady....