Bipolar Courage. My diagnoses, why I started this channel, my writing projects.

This video has edited captions in English.
My name is Xanthe Wyse. I am 50 years old and was born in and live in New Zealand.
I decided to make another introductory video, since it's been a while. Summing up why I started this channel, my diagnoses, my creative writing projects.
I forgot to mention I also would paint in spurts and I did the two improvised paintings on the wall when felt inspired to paint. With bipolar, I have been unable to do things on a reglular basis. So try work with it.
Definitely most challenging creative projects for me are writing, as writing takes organisation to make it understandable to others, and I have difficulty with organising words now.
I have gotten to a point with the vlog where I actually find it easier to improvise speaking than to write. Writing is a slog for me since I had a major breakdown in 2015, requiring hospitalisation. But I enjoy the challenge. (My psychiatrist at the time was astonished I completed a book, well 2, so far).
I have a clinically recognised mental injury from trauma, which people confuse with autism. The injury is still there after 4 years of treatment for PTSD (most people take 1-1.5 years).
I am on medications for bipolar disorder (type 1, rapid cycling).
Recently diagnosed pervasive developmental disorder, PDD which is considered to be on the autism spectrum but the psychiatrist who assessed me said I am subclinical for Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD). New Zealand uses both DSM-IV and DSM-V to diagnose.
I don't see my diagnoses as my identity as I see extremist ideology from identity as being harmful. Also, I have a complex presentation and I decided to highlight bipolar, as it is the disorder that has had the most effect on me, along with PTSD. Still considered by clinicians to be the diagnoses that affect me the most, despite treatment.
Also, I highlighted bipolar disorder, as there is so much stigma. So much so, that I would insist I didn't have bipolar and instead insist I was autistic instead. Psychiatrist said I have 'clinically significant autism features but sees me overall as being sub-threshold for ASD diagnosis.'
In my channel, I did a lot of processing but I also shared ways that helped me to process trauma in ways that did not retraumatise me. Also how I regulate mood. My treating psychologist with over 20 years of experience said she learned things from me.
My mind is very complex, and I find it very challenging to communicate with words, in speaking and writing. I found it easier to speak if I had just a few notes and improvised.
When I write books, I have bursts of writing then sort it out later.
My books are self-published and are on Amazon as print-on-demand and e-books. Pet Purpose is also available as an ebook on other e-book distributor platforms.
I am currently writing a memoir, Bipolar Courage, about behind-the-scene connections, during the advocacy journey. The main focus is on an intense online connection with an autistic man. I want to try answer the question 'are online relationships real?' I hope to publish it in 2023. Book projects take me a long time with my disabilities.
My website with some of my art, books, blog (don't blog often these days):
www.bipolarcour...
My books focus on relationships with bipolar and PTSD.
My best writing effort so far, Pet Purpose: Your Unspoken Voice:
www.amazon.com...
Bipolar Cringe was my first memoir, completed before Pet Purpose. Note the content warning.
www.amazon.com...
#bipolarcourage
#diagnoses
#writing