FULL STORY: Ex husband demanded a paternity test for peace of mind, so I asked to see his phone
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- Опубликовано: 16 июл 2024
- My ex husband demanded a paternity test for peace of mind, so I asked to see his phone for peace of mind.
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“And then I used the paternity test results to file for child support” lmfao be careful what you wish for Daddio. You wanted to be sure you’re the father for “peace of mind” 😂
It doesn't matter he has to pay anyway
@@patrick1992She said she had to use the test as proof he was the father. Clearly she needed evidence if she was going to get a dime
@@patrick1992that's not true at all. If you aren't the father, you don't have to pay child support. Idk where you got that bullshit from
@cheesecakepaws if his name is on the birth certificate, he still does have to pay child support
@@KagomeXinuyasha1300depends on the state. Sometimes they pass laws so that a guy can be protected from paying a child that they were deceived into rearing for.
Cheaters usually will claim you cheat because they think that since they could do it to you, that you would.
They are horrible.
Exactly. Anything to make them feel less guilty.
It’s also possible he wanted to use her cheating as a way to divorce her so she wouldn’t find out he was the one cheating
Not always. My husband hasn't cheated. He has (just found out 3 days ago) this HUGE fear of '"losing it all". He admitted (without me saying so) that he has trust issues. We're in a really rough spot. In a way, he has created his worst fear about our marriage except for the cheating. For many years he told me he didn't want our marriage to be like my parent's. Our marriage is like my parent's marriage now.
What does a thief fear the most? Being robbed. What does a cheater fear the most? Being cheated on.
I don’t think it’s that cheaters fear being cheated on i think it’s that they fear being caught. So they throw about accusations of the other person cheating as a sort of disguise away from their behaviour. Like “If i’m so upset at the thought of you cheating on me then i’m obviously not cheating on you”. Which ofc is bullshit.
@@peachy_cinnamonas far I've read about it in psychology it's called projecting behaviour, the reasoning is that he found his own behaviour unacceptable and instead of condemning his own action, he projected the shame onto his partner.
@@TJAngela 🎯💯
Yeah they are so bold to cheat and so bold to suspect/accuse others of cheating... isn't that always the case? Another sign: "I just don't love her anymore..." translate to "I'm cheating with someone else and I want to set things up to explain my cheating".
My daughter’s father implied the possibility of a dna test. I looked him in his face and said I want nothing more than for this child not to be yours so I can get the hell away from you. I never heard anything else about it 😂😂😂 she’s his clone from head to toe and thoroughly through personality too, but he was of course projecting because of all the bs he was doing behind my back.
I wish I could have seen seen his reaction when you said it. Was like, the light got dimmed from his eyes or was more like “well damn…” and he left it alone? 😂
@@Monbrax both 🤣 the look on his face was priiiiiiceless! You could really see the flood of emotions take turns on his face. If he wasn’t dark skinned I think he would’ve went pale then red almost simultaneously 😭 I wanted to laugh but I had to hold my “don’t flatter yourself” attitude 😂 the nerve of him to even fix his lips. Like sir, 😒 please go to the furthest depths of hell right now 🤣 he baby trapped me so the audacity was strong with that one.
Do we have the same BD? By my ex did the same thing 💀
@miniibg Damn, I'm so sorry you had to go thru that, but HUGE W and what a boss move!!!! Seriously, your daughter is so lucky to have such a strong mother raise her!!!
My mom said that a spouse who accuses the other for cheating is 99% of the time cheating on their own and projecting it on the other. And she hasn’t ever been proven wrong.
Sometimes these types of things happen because of projection. The husband was cheating behind her back and assumed his wife was as well.
Nice ..that was your reason that he wanted that test
It's always projection. Reddit always defends these dads who want "peace if mind" but I don't get it, why marry someone and have a kid with someone u dont trust? This phone analogy is awesome. If there's no trust, then no journals or phones are off limits are they?
I mean, he was cheating and projecting his cheating on op, so...
Yep. Hector projector.
@@mary-janereallynotsarah684exactly. men have just been having to trust that their children are theirs since the beginning of time. it seems weird and gross to me that nowadays so many of them feel entitled to take a peak at literal dna just to prove that they’re not “wasting their time and money” on someone else’s children. be a man and raise your kids.
@@daniellemitchell3118 I'm sorry but Hector Projector took me OUUTTT
I was about to say that he's cheating on you that's why he had the doubt about the child. Turns out, I was right
It’s obvious
It’s fucked up because %75 of the time when a guy demands a paternity test that vehemently then they’re usually the ones doing dirty.. in more ways than one
Amazing how so many people are just talking about how paternity tests should be required but ignoring the fact that this POS was cheating on his wife with at least FOUR OTHER WOMEN while she was a loyal loving wife and mother. He's such a loser, he gave up a good woman.
For the record, I don't see an issue of mandatory paternity tests at birth, but it is telling that so many people are ONLY talking about that.
Cheaters often , accused their spouses of cheating , I have found it very normal behaviour because of their guilty conscience ,
It is always the people thinking the worst that do the worst
It’s called projecting 🙄
Should have asked the phone the first day and not taken a no for an answer
Yep.
"You will not get your test until i see your phone"
95% of the time, when someone is blaming you for something you know you didn’t, it’s projection.
So he was projecting lmaooo
Text book definition of projecting
His own guilt of betrayal gave him away. He was the one cheating but hoped so badly you weren’t… that’s so sad.
Every accusation is a confession...
I think paternity tests are great even if both people were virgins prior to conception (im a married woman for context). Its no skin off my back and nothing makes me happier proving im a loyal person. However, what the husband did was disgusting. If you are going to ask her for a test the least you could do is let her look at your phone. If you have nothing to hide then there shouldn't be a problem. Again, no skin off your back.
It’s always a red flag to ask for one. In what scenario is the man not accusing the woman of infidelity. Thing is, maybe she is. Women cheat just like men do. Asking for a paternity test is always a red flag and denying it is always a red flag. There is no win win. From that point on, either but partners are dismissive of it and decide it’s not a big deal, maybe laugh it off, or the marriage is forever scarred. Doesn’t mean divorce but can
Trust is THE foundation of a relationship, this person sleeps in your bed, lives with you, and is your partner through life, and the relief part, its more the assumption that you could have had another man's child that hurts, but ya know, she's happy now and he lost his chance at a loving, secure family unit, unfortunately so did his daughter
It can be made into a compulsion, because of the increased amount of cases of husbands raising someone else's child.
But, there are many countries in which despite prooving the child not to be his, the husband still need to pay child support. Because it doesn't matter who they pin it on. So they don't have any advantage of this system
@@aasthajasrotia5055All right, let's talk about it. I really wish people wouldn't just read the scary headlines and not understand the efficacy behind the study. The study absolutely everybody quotes from about the amount of people who are raising children are not. There's is a terribly unethical study. In fact, if you put that study in medical sick, it has one of the worst ratings of any study I've ever seen ever on that program. In fact, studies that try to prove that vaccines cause autism have better ratings than that study does. So let me tell you about that study. First of all, came out in the '90s. So it's about 30 years out of date. Also, the selection pool was 20 people who have all had reason to suspect that their partner cheated or they were in an open relationship or they were not exclusive at the time. That group of people are going to skew your results. The fact of the matter is that to have an ethical study you need to have thousands upon thousands of people in it. I can hand pick a group of people and come out with any type of conclusion i want. That's why you can't have a study with just 20 people in it. Also, this study when tried to be replicated in a more ethical manner never comes anywhere near that number. The fact of the matter is any ethical study that has been done by Yale or Harvard or McGill or Oxford that ran a more ethical study on paternal fraud. Comes up with a number between two to five percent. That's an extremely low number. It's not that it doesn't happen. It's not that women don't lie or women don't cheat. But it is nowhere near the 30 to 40% that I hear quote from people. If we're going to quote a study and hide it in reddit post, could we please read more than just the scary statistic. Also, let's not get our facts from Reddit.
@@aasthajasrotia5055Also, let's talk about the skewed system. A study done by Harvard law that but covered over 50,000 couples. Proves that statistically when men show up and they're ready to fight for their children. They always either get joint custody or full custody. But the fact of the matter is that over 90% of the time men show up to court and they're not prepared. In fact, the study found that over 30% of men getting divorced didn't know their child's middle name or their date of birth. That the high 90s didn't know if their child had a medical condition or if they did have a medical condition, what it was. Also, 92% of men didn't know if their child had any allergies. The fact of the matter is if you show up to court and you don't know the basic things about your child's care nobody's going to give you custody. But it's proven time and time again by different case studies that when men show up and they are prepared to fight, they get equal custody or full custody. In fact, the study found when men show up to court prepared and proven that they know their child and how to care for their child. They are more likely to get custody than the woman. I know we have her biases and we want to ignore what leads to the fact mendo get custody because it's convenience for our argument, but let's do a little bit better. All of these studies are available online.
Ugh poor woman
The thing about paternity test is you have the right to ask for them. But you never not ever like in any situations. Have the right to dictate how somebody responds to what you ask them. Just because you have the right to do something doesn't mean it comes. Consequence free. Basically, what you're saying by telling your partner that I want to paternity test is that you think they cheated and they're such a terrible person. They lie to you about paternity. If you want to question someone on the most fundamental level of a decent human being then that person has the right to be upset. Just like you of the right to ask. If you want to call your partner the absolute worst thing you can call them without them breaking the law. Then you have to be prepared for the consequences of that. Your best bet is when you sit down first date you tell That woman that you need to a paternity test. So that way you're open and honest and up front even before you sleep together. And she can decide if that's something she's okay with. And then neither of you waste time with someone who's not okay with what the other person wants. But what you don't get to do is drop it like a bomb on a pregnant woman or just a recently postpartum woman and then play victim when they're like. Hey that's an awful thing to call me. I don't like it and I'm getting a divorce.
being a single working parent is crazy
It’s is but my mom said she’d choose it 1000 times over her awful ex husband.
My mom says it makes life much easier when you have one person to take care of and not two.
Being a married single parent is worse
Better than being married to a king baby on top of having a child
Crazy yes but doable staying with a cheating spouse is not only crazier it’s stupid.
The people who fear being wronged are always the one wronging other people. You always assume other people will be like you, bad people assume everyone has bad intentions, good people assume good from others
he was probably hoping she wasn’t his so that he could have a reason to continue his disgusting second life. good for op
✨projection✨
Im glad shes doing well
It’s always the cheaters who think you’re cheating
Nah, as a woman, I will be insulted by this. Unofficial you are accuing me of infidelity, you can have it, but that relationship is over.
Yup! A husband can ask but he can't control the reaction to being asked.
@@league-of-shadows fine by me, if I were a woman Id just take the test to prove a point. Sure its a little insulting, but then women don't always tell the truth about their history do they? Why not do it if you got nothing to hide? This story is obviously projection on the mans part, and he deserves what came to him. But the number of men who don't find out about their children not being theres is much higher than the number of fathers who do find out. They literally banned paternity tests in France because the estimated number of men that would find out they were raising a bastard would break millions of families apart.
@@alien6824 "Why not do it if you got nothing to hide?"
It's not that you have anything to hide, it's that the husband shows that he doesn't trust you. At that point, the relationship is over.
A woman has the right to be angry if accused of cheating.
The audacity of cheaters😭
A lot of cheaters have a guilty conscience and assume their partner is cheating since they do it happened with my sister and her husband. She ofc never cheated cause she for some reason is head over heels for the man but he’s cheated on her with multiple girls and even gave my sister an std scare (that’s how she found out he was cheating after they were married she knew he cheated while they were dating)
She deserves that, she stayed and listened to him after not letting her see his phone. I would have stood up and told him it is over the second he denied me access to his phone, cause how is it okay for him to accuse you of cheating and he still gets what he wants and you can’t even check his phone for peace of mind? I’m not weak and I would drop him in seconds.
Even though the toxic Ex was projecting soo hard... I'm all for Post birth DNA testing for both parents. It could bring light to genetic abnormalities while rare, can happen. Just treat it like all the other test screenings done to make sure the baby is healthy since it wouldn't be hard to add on.
“Ex husband” Kind of gives away the ending in the title, doesn’t it?
Honestly do think that paternity/maternity tests should be required. So many things have gone wrong with babies being switched, would rather not risk
That's a fair reason for wanting one. This dudes reason isn't fair tho.
I think live streaming your partners phone to yours should be mandatory. So many people cheat and lie.
@@MathildaFlowI think that’s a lil excessive. If you have that little trust for you partner, that you can’t offer eachother privacy, that’s controlling and just as bad as being secretive. I think it’s understandable to ask sometimes if you have suspicions, but 24/7 streaming is way too much. There’s no foundation of trust in that.
@@babyqeels Hes not serious. Hes using the same logic that the original comment.
I wish your ending was mine, desperately need to move out but the money is not adding up. ❤
projection is one of the most interesting things in psychology imo
Bro really fumbled the bag.
Cheaters don't want to be cheated 😂😂
Projection. If ur partner ever accuses you of cheating out of the blue theyre most likely the one cheating.
Someone I was dating who had cheated quite literally in front of me while I was a couple feet away would find almost any weird small reason to accuse me of cheating. When he was the only person in our relationship who had cheated. 😊 not a coincidence there. I think when people actively cheat on their partners they just think everyone is also a cheater.
Nothing wrong with either request, peace of mind matters and the reality is that no matter how much you trust someone, being human's with free will means that trust can never, and frankly SHOULD NEVER be complete and unquestionable. The paternity tests should be mandatory, and the request to see his phone was also perfectly reasonable.
Whatever someone does will come back at them in the long run.
The moment my man asks me for a paternity test, we are most likely done(there are a few good reasons). It tells you he doesn't trust you. Bottom line
Paternity tests should mandatory.
so i guess the husband just wanted “backups” for “peace of mind” then, 😂😂😂
Not all people scared of their partner cheating are cheaters. But every cheater is paranoid their partner is cheating.
Say this because I’m always afraid of my partners cheating, my dad cheated on my mom and it affects me to this day. I’ll never cheat
When the father gets a new wife the stepmom is probably gonna push for the daughter to call her mom, and try to turn the daughter against OP. I’m envisioning it as I type this XD
✨Projection✨
I think there's nothing wrong with asking for a paternity test for "peace of mind", though Ideally that should be discussed long before the pregnancy even happens, not when the child is already born.
Men just can never have the same assurance as women when it comes to their children, because duh, they didn't get goddamn pregnant and have to give birth to the kid.
That being said if in turn my GF wants to install a goddamn tracking and package-sniffer app on my phone that live-updates her on my location and all my send and recieved text messages, while I'd think that'd be kinda weird, but I'd agree nontheless, whatever, I got nothin to hide from my SO, so if she's interested she just needs to ask.
Why not giving him the case of cheating?? You let him loose too easily
Idk what I would do in that situation but I hope she texted those other women that he was his wife and he was cheating on her with them. Who knows, maybe they already knew, but I hope since she had his phone she could have sent them all messages telling them what a piece of shit he was.
Cheaters always accuse
Yes
It really always come back to projection, huh
Classic projection.
Its called projecting, they think it was so easy for me to cheat then my partner can cheat just as easily.
I love this, yes thank you for this story. But I kind of expected of some revenge but I guess it worked out, what about Alimony. Also make sure to keep their distance like if the dad is that dirty on cheating with 4 women and talking like that who knows what influence he can place with the child no to mention his DNA is on the kid so keep an eye out.
... i can see why he's her ex-husband
Huge projection
✨️Projecting✨️
Women don’t have to worry about this cause the baby came out of them
Thats why he was asking for a paternity test bc he was projecting his infidelity.
No that’s not how you play the game😡
EARLY GANG
👇
This is messed up
I think paternity tests SHOULD be a requirement to sign a birth certificate. I work in child welfare, and too many men are tricked into thinking they are a dad, later they find out they aren’t biologically the father, but since they signed the birth certificate they are on the hook for any and all public assistance and child support despite disproving paternity. It’s sad. I understand her frustration and she was right to be upset, but I think they SHOULD ALWAYS be required regardless.
That would be an interesting discussion.
honestly there is nothing wrong with wanting a paternity test since cheating is rly common these days but yeah he should have let u see his phone
Paternity test should be mandatory the moment we are talking about child support.
End of discussion.
And this is why my partner and I have had this conversation already. I have a low egg count and can’t even give birth due to medical reasons but we’ve still spoken about other options and what ifs. I was actually the one who said paternity tests should be free (I see them similar to abortions) and legally if the child comes out to not be theirs they can ditch with zero repercussions because the child isn’t theirs and if the husband cheats/is abusive the wife and child should be able to ditch without repercussions too. To me making the choice to have a baby in a relationship is apart of the relationship, that child in a sense is now apart of the relationship. Cheating to me at least means you’re giving up on not just the relationship but the child as well. We also discussed situations of what if the mother isn’t suitable but the accused father is suitable but not the biological father. We agreed in cases like that if the father feels the father child connection then they should absolutely have the right to the child. You gotta have these hard conversations first man, a week into my relationship we were already talking about boundaries when it comes to our personal space living with someone. You gotta find a common ground for everything in your relationship especially if you hope to go somewhere with it
I’m a firm believer that paternity test should be mandatory regardless of the relationship status.
this is so fake or the craziest story ever
Nah, cheaters will actually become paranoid that their partners also cheating on them because of the guilt, it happens all the time.
You should see some of these stories this was the most believable one
Depends on the cheater. Some will just keep everything under lock and key and gas light you. Others will do both. @@Strawberrykoal
This is an absurdly common story.
Cheaters will often project and accuse their partner of infidelity. Its extremely common.
First day on earth?
I still think people should be allowed to ask for the test just in case. people cheat even if u trust them, so he should be allowed to ask even if he trusts her. The fact he cheated doesnt change my view on this
Well, you ARE allowed to ask. What you’re not allowed to do is force the person you’re asking to react how you want them to. If my partner were to ask for a paternity test, he’s fully legally allowed to do it. Stop acting like it is illegal. Thing is, if he asks he will be getting divorce papers if we’re married. Lol.