THE DOWNSIDE OF BEING A KOREAN ADOPTEE LIVING IN KOREA!!!
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- Опубликовано: 1 фев 2017
- This video is about my struggles trying to build a relationship with my twin as well as the difficulty of being scrutinized by my family. I wish my outlook would be more positive, but I am just sharing my experience as a Korean adoptee living in Korea.
If you have any questions or comments about being a Korean Adoptee, I read all messages and try to respond to any we receive.
Check out some of our other Korean Adoptee Videos here:
Meeting my family in korea after being sperated since birth- • Video
why we mobed to korea- • Video
korean adoptee: birth family seach in seoul, south korea- • KOREAN AMERICAN ADOPTE...
My Korean Adoption Story- • MY KOREAN AMERICAN ADO...
My First Chuseok with my Family in Korea-
• MY FIRST CHUSEOK WITH ...
Korean Adoptee Reunited: First Birthday with my Twin-
• Video
My First Korean Adoption Service (KAS) Meeting in Seoul-
• MY FIRST KOREAN ADOPTI...
Korean Adoptee DNA Family Birth Search Process: Part 1-
• KOREAN AMERICAN ADOPTE...
The Downside of Being a Korean Adoptee Living in Korea-
• THE DOWNSIDE OF BEING ...
What's my Identity-
• KOREAN AMERICAN ADOPTE...
A Recap of our time in Korea-
• Video
Just wanted to say how happy I am I found your videos. You're one of the few Korean adoptees that shared the raw and real experiences that adoptees go through after the reunion when reality hits. Thank you, Thank you!!! I found your channel awhile ago, but I am finding it even more helpful now. It validates so much for me.
Wow, thanks for sharing. I'm so lucky that my twin brother and I were adopted into the same family. It appears that your twin sister is jealous and resentful of you because you're at a higher socio economic level and that you're happily married. Her opportunities aren't as plentiful as yours. Being married to a Korean woman for 9 years I understand the culture more. What I don't like is that Koreans are very judgemental and see things on the outside. There are things I like and don't like about Korean culture.. My only advice would be to write your feelings out and give her a letter and see if she can understand your feelings. If she doesn't respond or sympathize with you then you will truly understand where she's coming from.
Good luck and enjoy your tip in Bali.
I think that is incredible that both you and your twin were adopted into the same family. Thanks for sharing! I appreciate your advice. I will give it a try again. At this point, I think it is pointless. Thank you, two weeks and counting.
Thank you for sharing such a heartfelt moment. I am so sorry that you are going through such hard times but I am glad that Eric is by your side to help you in these difficult moments of your family reunion. It is tough reconnecting with your family, let alone an entirely new culture and language on top of it. It is tiring I know but please do not give up. Just keep trying and most importantly keep trying to learn the language. I think that once you get over the language barrier that it will all start to come together.
Hi Eric, thanks for reminding me of the importance to learning the language. I have fallen off the wagon lately. I should make absolute use of my time here. All the best to you!
Hi Amanda,
I was adopted also from South Korea when I was 14 years old back 1980. Anyway, I see and hear many stories who are searching or has found their adopted parents. I certainly like to get to know more people like us and help deal with finding families. Anyway, my problem is I don't know where to start to search for my family. If you read my comments here I would love to get some help where to start. Thanks
I have some other videos with resources of adoption agencies to start with.
Thanks. I will keep an eye on it.
Let go, dear, let go. Break out of the circle and stop living your illusion of family life.
Look into yourself, take great care of your feelings, don’t ignore what you feel.
Be true only to your heart.
wow, what a emotional roller coaster!
I think you should give yourself and sis time, to bond.
as you said she must resentment, jealous.
and also there's the culture gap.
good luck!
Thank you, yes it is a psychological nightmare at times.
My heart goes out to you girl
Thank you, I hate sounding like I'm complaining or ungrateful for the opportunity. I appreciate your support!
I admire your full disclosure, and I can tell from all the other comments that your experience is very emotional. I'm sorry you're having a hard time. I know how much you internalize everything. That's the burden of a big heart. I love you and hope that sister of yours has some sort of epiphany or something.
Thanks, these past two months have been very difficult and will influence our future decisions for sure.
Hi hon... I really feel for you. It sounds very stressful and the book "he's not that into you" kept popping into my head listening to you vent your frustrations. Have you read that before?? It will be hard to except that she may be so emotionally closed down the you won't ever to be able to reach her, but it won't be weight on your shoulders because you are doing all that you can. I think writing a letter is a wise choice. She may respond better to your words when she's alone and all the walls are not up? Also going with your own translator to family visits might be wise until you can trust that she's portraying the situation correctly to your mother. Good luck and enjoy Bali! Australia is just a hop, skip, and a jump away from there... You should come visit here before you go back home to the states sometime🙂. I'm from Indiana and married to a Korean adopted Aussie... We are quite the bunch living the dream in Brisbane lol would. Would be happy to have you. xx Sari
I have the movie, "he's not that into you," but haven't read the book yet. Deep down, I don't want to admit it, but I do think you are right. As of recently, I felt we need to spend alone time together to create that bond, which is why I tried to set up a time before we leave for vacation. I don''t want to make her look bad in front of my mom, but I sense a rivalry going on. My mom's opinion is that both of us aren't trying. Eric just mentioned today how close Australia is LOL. Thanks for the invite!
Oh, you sweet girl. I can see the hurt in your eyes. I am sorry that you're going through this. I sympathize. I had a relative who was the same way. It's not you. Please know that. I can't imagine having a twin that rejects you, but she doesn't know you. However, you have another sister and parents and a wonderful husband. Focus on them. You are loved!
Thank you for the encouragement and great advice! I am starting to think I should focus on the family members that acknowledge me as a family member. My uncle, he lives in Seoul and he spends countless hours using the Google App to translate with my husband and I. He often pokes fun at his wife's addiction to adrenaline by waving his hands in the air and screaming whooo. I can tell he loves to see us laugh. These are priceless moments I will never forget. Thank you.
You are beautiful, intelligent, healthy and very articulate. They seem jealous, put a time plan in your head to see if their behaviour and attitude improve. If not I would just break off all contact.
That is very good advise although I have been looking for a family that would accept me for my whole life. since coming back to the states my relationships has improved ten fold.
화이팅~!!
Always!
hope your twin sister could watch your vlog so that she can understand your feelings.she's a mean sister to you .she's lucky actually because she grow up here and taking care by your biological parent.God bless you.
Thank you for your kind words! I do envy her experience growing up with our loving parents! She has no idea how much I wish I could have traded places.
Korean Adoptee Reunited don't try so hard to be her twin sister.at least you've done your part already to be her lost twin sister because you gave up your life in the US to be with them.actually koreans are not affectionate people .yes they are kind in someways they are like robots hehehe I'm a foreigner married to a korean that's why.oh!i want to give you a hug.anyway you are not alone lucky enough to have your husband in your side.
Very true. Both sisters tell me they envy me. It's super annoying, but i'm realizing that may be part of the problem. What is there to envy?
I have blood sister's and mother that I grew up with and they have never shown me love. Everything I do is wrong and they put me down. It's okay to love them from a far. Meaning I don't talk to them. They are jealous of you, You can't do noting about it. I'm glad you gave it a shot. The best thing to do is live your life and don't feel bad about it. She isn't making a effort to learn English, meet you, and so on. You have a huge heart. Shame on your sister. She is jealous. It's her inner feeling and you can't change that about her. It's her journey and she has to work through that. Best thing you can do is pray for her. Prayer: "Lord bless her and change me" ( this prayer is making you humble).... You are awesome and I could see her feeling that you are the better twin. Be happy and proud of your life. It's the best thing you can do for yourself and others watching you. You guys are awesome. I love how you both are sharing your journey. Amazing! xoxo
I am sorry about your upbringing. Being adopted into two families, I can sympathize with your experiences. I was hoping my moving here would prove my genuine desire to connect with my entire family. If you are like me, once someone hurts me a few times, I move on. I am hoping this does not end up the case for my relationship with my twin. For now, I will give her space and try a few more attempts. I am really sorry again for the hardship you encountered by making the decision to not speak with your family, truly. I hope you are happy and 2017 is your year!
Thank you. It was and it is truly the hardest thing I had and have to do. The hurt every time. I was forced to open my eyes. God shines the light on those people. I would've kept my blinders on, but the things they did was overwhelming. I still try, but scared of the hurt that comes from trying. Nothing is never good enough and they take (money, stolen medication's, gift's, hospitality) without a care. I'm 45 yrs old. I could share so many story's. To sum it up and this might sound extremely rude of me, but I live my life with lot's of joy, because I know they wish the worse for me. I'm bless to have a husband of 28 yrs, a bio son age 28, adopted 3 kids (they are siblings) now ages 25, 24, and 19 (only girl,) and had another bio son age 5. My dream is to have that perfect loving bond with my bio family, but it's never going to happen. I understand the hurt so I'm able to share with my adopted kids. Family is us. Our unit is perfect. We still make a effort to bond. They have all moved out of my home ( left the nest ) the only child in my home is our baby. One of my adopted son's is giving me the best gift in the whole world which is... I'm going to be a grandma (due date April 16, 2017) 2017 is already the best year. I have so much to keep me busy and I help others (homeless, strangers, church family) and they show so much kindness and appreciation in return which fills my heart. Hope I made sense. I never write lol I felt your hurt and wanted to share. I agree with comment below please do write to your sister and your family explaining your story, but they also have feelings and are stuck. Keep on moving forward with your life, husband, learning your Korean, helping others with this youtube, and growing your family. You are so wise already I'm sure you will find peace in your heart soon. xoxo
I think you need to distance your self from your sister if they make a effort to see and be with you you will now that you matter,but if they don’t make effort move on jealousy is a monster
Honey it's not your fault she is jealous i'm so sorry you are to Americanized and you have a big heart you don't have to worry to please them!!! they need to please you, your sister way out of line yes come home you don't have to put up with this crap!!!! your hubby loves at the end of day that's all you need you tried!!!!
Thanks for the support! We realize there are lots of communication barriers preventing us from moving forward in our relationship.
dear you do not live in korea if u get involed you will be expected to support everybody ur life is in the US u did ur best they cannot think living good life for 6 months with out working n top of that she is not married by 30 she is left on the shelf
the us and asia are very different god bless u ur heart is very good there is no right answer
Agreed, but it would sure make everything easier if there was a straightforward answer.
Hey.. you're american (we don't sweat the small s--t!)
I'm soooo lucky.. I met my family (didn't like 'em) and walked away !!
You know that work is the national neuroses of Korea !!
(maybe you try too hard?)
Hi. Are you on Instagram or Facebook ?
Yes we are check out the front of our page.
First of all, may I ask if you guys have done the DNA test to make sure.......
Without boring you with all of the details, I am certain this is my biological family.