You Two Would Have GREAT SEX in Marriage If . . .

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  • Опубликовано: 7 сен 2024
  • What does the Bible say about sex? How can you know if you would have healthy sex with someone in marriage? Here are 6 signs that usually occur when two people would have great sex if they got married one day.
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Комментарии • 207

  • @TimGun87
    @TimGun87 Месяц назад +253

    I find the "we need to have sex before marriage too see if were compatible" thing to be so weird, and I have no clue how people fall for that when if you look at it literally its saying, "you as a person have no redeeming qualities worth being with outside of your body and ability to please me sexually, so if you can't do that immediately you're worthless to me." how is that the kind of person you would ever want to be with? that's objectively horrible and disgusting, that a person would devalue another to that level.

    • @ApplyGodsWordcomMarkBallenger
      @ApplyGodsWordcomMarkBallenger  Месяц назад +37

      well said

    • @trinawms3749
      @trinawms3749 Месяц назад +16

      Preach that!

    • @beingthesalt
      @beingthesalt Месяц назад +35

      Yeah it's not even weird it's sinful literally. It's breaking covenant with The Lord & dishonoring Him to think we would know better and could choose better by our flesh.

    • @lisamay3240
      @lisamay3240 Месяц назад +11

      Sex before marriage isfornication

    • @HisGateIsNarrow1021
      @HisGateIsNarrow1021 Месяц назад

      There is no way of tell how good the steak is until you have tasted it!!
      Same to goes with sex!!
      Abstain or don't abstain the choice is yours but there are many ways to get straight with Jesus, fornication out of wedlock is not one of them!!
      Fact!!

  • @borky22391
    @borky22391 Месяц назад +109

    You got me excited Mark! I’m getting married in 5 weeks and I’m so excited to share this experience with my future wife. We have been celibate since we’ve met which is 2.5 years now. I come from a background where I did not initially hold a sacred view of sex. But, God redeemed me in my sinful lust and I am marrying someone that is a faithful selfless follower of Jesus and has never had sex.
    It seems impossible but Jesus is the God of impossible. So much healing and deeply rooted issues have been addressed and God can do that for anyone. Just surrender and put yourself in positions to actively “hear” from God such as reading God’s word, praying, and paying attention to life situations. I’ve been watching you Mark since my break up 3.5 years ago. You’ve definitely been a tool from God in my spiritual growth and I thank you.

    • @kingkoop7326
      @kingkoop7326 Месяц назад +5

      Wow God bless you man

    • @Supman1
      @Supman1 Месяц назад +10

      Congrats! If you haven't already please go to a good Christian counselor for pre-marital counseling. Find those blind spots you two might have. If you have already ironed those out, then godspeed on your new chapter.

    • @p.o.m.n
      @p.o.m.n Месяц назад +2

      The best counsellor is none other than Jesus Christ himself..not a humanbeing..and it's God..not "god"

    • @libbyisadog
      @libbyisadog Месяц назад +3

      Congrats bro! God bless you and your union.

    • @borky22391
      @borky22391 Месяц назад

      @@kingkoop7326 thank you so much!

  • @paulhong6419
    @paulhong6419 Месяц назад +118

    Sex before marriage is like eating “junk food” before going to a 5-star restaurant or like eating candy and sweets before a 5-star meal. Sex before marrying taints the actual good sex which God has reserved for His people. God made us, so He knows exactly how we best function. The world has gotten everything backwards because of the enemy of our souls. God(our Parent) knows best!

    • @brandonoliver5304
      @brandonoliver5304 Месяц назад +3

      I’m trying to to heal and to be able to have good sex still…

    • @believersamuel6942
      @believersamuel6942 Месяц назад +2

      What a perfect piece said in a humorous manner, I love this!

  • @The_Blessed_Cowboy
    @The_Blessed_Cowboy Месяц назад +130

    Remember to break off any soul ties from past relationships first. You dont want to bring that into a marriage.

    • @ApplyGodsWordcomMarkBallenger
      @ApplyGodsWordcomMarkBallenger  Месяц назад +20

      Here's a related video I made about soul ties: ruclips.net/video/UU1jzHPXpDc/видео.html

    • @ShadowDancer_
      @ShadowDancer_ Месяц назад +6

      But how does a person do that?

    • @The_Blessed_Cowboy
      @The_Blessed_Cowboy Месяц назад +3

      ​@@ShadowDancer_mark posted a link to a video on how to do so below my comment.

    • @Earthsbodye
      @Earthsbodye Месяц назад +2

      ​@@ShadowDancer_pray

    • @adk5997
      @adk5997 Месяц назад +1

      You can’t do that. Men/ women who sleep around and then think they going to be loyal and focused; they do bring what they lived with them.

  • @safsren
    @safsren Месяц назад +81

    I'm glad you didn't downplay the need for physical attraction. I feel like the church downplays that part too much.

    • @ApplyGodsWordcomMarkBallenger
      @ApplyGodsWordcomMarkBallenger  Месяц назад +38

      I agree. It certainly should not be the most important quality on the list, but it's clearly a part of God's design for romance

    • @catheenmason
      @catheenmason Месяц назад

      @@ApplyGodsWordcomMarkBallenger I have a question. What if you are mildly physically attracted? Would that work? I feel like I am and then not like wildly physically attracted to him.

    • @darth-hellhound6534
      @darth-hellhound6534 Месяц назад +2

      ​@@catheenmason​@catheenmason how long have you been together? I'm finding that my attraction to my girlfriend grows over time, though she does not match what I used to consider as beautiful.

    • @catheenmason
      @catheenmason Месяц назад

      @@darth-hellhound6534oh thank you!! Only a few months in. However. We both already knew right away. We are now just getting to know each other

    • @SleepyFox4000
      @SleepyFox4000 Месяц назад +2

      I wasn't initially attracted to my bf, but about 6 months in, getting to know each other so intimately in an emotional sense it became hard to keep my hands off of him. We went through a season of struggle with that but are pulling out of it now. It grew us both as individuals and deepened and redirected our love back towards the foundation of our relationship and away from the worldly aspect. Just the emotional connection with him is better than the s** I had before I was a believer.

  • @StephTellnTruth
    @StephTellnTruth Месяц назад +36

    Sex always felt wrong when I had it outside of marriage. I felt cheap, used, not valued as a human, I felt something in my gut was not aligned correctly and left me sad and feeling wrong all the time. The ONLY time that sex felt "right" was when I was married. And even though my marriage didnt last (he did not love God or follow him) in my single time with God I feel so happy knowing Ive decided to do things right this time and wait for marriage. Sex outside of marriage has too high of an emotional cost, if you break up or he leaves you, you feel destroyed and used. If he loves God, treats you with honor and is willing to wait until marriage, then you have a man that loves God more than you. And that is the mark of a good man.

    • @adk5997
      @adk5997 Месяц назад +2

      Sex is responsibility for bringing child into existence. Anybody who is not ready (married) to bring up the consequences shouldn’t be pretending they are. It is that simple. All the children living in incomplete families all the abortions and we still talk about feelings we have around sex??? There is main purpose to it. Why everyone pretends is just for feelings?
      get married enjoy it, and take care of the results-children.

    • @StephTellnTruth
      @StephTellnTruth Месяц назад +1

      @@adk5997 the point of talking about feelings is because your feelings can also guide you to God. If you feel guilt shame sorrow it is an indication that you are not aligned spiritually, when you are not aligned with the ways of God there are consequences, those are the emotional consequences. Men are not as emotional as women so they may not understand when women express themselves or interpret the world through what they feel. The point is, when you accept Gods truth, live in alignment with Gods design (sex inside the bonds of marriage) the emotional consequence is peace hope joy...(fruits of the spirit). Women interpret things more emotionally and that is what I meant. Also not everybody knows all about God, some of us are on a journey and we learned as we lived. So dont judge. Have Grace. The bible says "there is One worthy to judge...but not even He judges us but intercedes for us before the Father" also "there is no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus" so when you find God, when you turn to Him. He doesnt judge you and say "why didnt you get this sooner?? He says "Come to Me ALL who are weary and heavy laden and I will give you REST" He doesnt say I will give you judgement and condemnation He says I will give you Peace. Amen

    • @smokingcrab2290
      @smokingcrab2290 Месяц назад

      You willingly walked into a marriage with a guy who didn't follow God and you blame him for it

    • @StephTellnTruth
      @StephTellnTruth Месяц назад

      @@smokingcrab2290 I dont blame anyone but myself. I dont blame God or my Ex. I had a nervous breakdown age 24 and thought I failed God and that God left me. I thought I had "fallen from Grace" that was what I truly believed (I have 2 uncles who are paranoid schyzophrenic mental illness runs in my family) so I believed God left me and I was of no value. So I did not follow God for 10 years I thought I had no value so I acted like that. I thought no man would want me so even though I had been a virgin till 24 I just gave myself away to the first man who showed me attention... it was very scary. But after 10 years it was like I had an awakening, that God had never left me, that he loved me and was always with me. I rededicated my life to Him because my mind was healing and my marriage didnt work because my husband cheated on me with many women. I got cancer and was fighting for my life and the cheating continued finally I confronted him, he had no apology or concern, so I left. I only acted these ways because I sincerely believed God had "left" me but in truth it was my mind that was ill and telling me lies. God is gracious, it doesnt matter where we have been or what we have been in, he loves us eternally. No matter lifes craziness no matter our imperfections no matter our poor decisions and mistakes He loves us still. I dont blame anybody for my choices they were terrible so I bore the consequences. That is life. But "when we are faithless yet God is faithful". We cannot stop Him from loving us or chasing us. "He leaves the 99 for the 1". "This is Love...not that we love God but that HE loved US and gave Humself For us." Its not our love for God that saves us its His love for us thats the miracle.

    • @StephTellnTruth
      @StephTellnTruth Месяц назад +2

      @@smokingcrab2290 no I dont blame God or my Ex the choice was mine it was wrong I paid the consequence for it

  • @ForMySoulSistas
    @ForMySoulSistas Месяц назад +92

    It's a risky but necessary topic, especially when you're abstaining before marriage. I loved those points: biblical view of sex, attraction, selflessness and forgiveness. I would add: constant communication before and during marriage.

    • @ApplyGodsWordcomMarkBallenger
      @ApplyGodsWordcomMarkBallenger  Месяц назад +13

      God bless!

    • @sh6460
      @sh6460 Месяц назад +14

      Not sure about constant communication, but healthy communication. I think sex was designed to be mutually giving, the world has reduced it to a selfish act.

    • @smokingcrab2290
      @smokingcrab2290 Месяц назад

      "selflessness"
      So be a doormat

    • @smokingcrab2290
      @smokingcrab2290 Месяц назад +1

      @sh6460, its designed to be mutually fun. But Christians turn it into this chore and duty

    • @red_phoenix0570
      @red_phoenix0570 Месяц назад

      @@smokingcrab2290 bro, did you watch the video? it's literally meant to be the exactly what you said.
      also, selflessness != being a doormat. that's a lack of self respect that does that. selflessness is putting others first, not allowing yourself to be abused.

  • @cosmicbrambleclawv2
    @cosmicbrambleclawv2 Месяц назад +32

    Definitely not something I expected to see from this channel 😅 but a good reminder for folks :) I'm 28 yrs abstinent and still waiting for marriage

  • @Pheonix1111
    @Pheonix1111 Месяц назад +46

    Thank you Mark. All the reasons you explain in this video are the reasons why people participating in hook up culture are always disappointed and dislike the experience. God created sex solely for a married couple who truly love one another. Any sex outside of marriage will never truly satisfy anyone. Selfishness and stealing sex outside of marriage will always be unhealthy and toxic. And every child resulting from sex deserves and needs two parents who truly love one another and them. Healthy married parents can raise healthy children.

    • @ApplyGodsWordcomMarkBallenger
      @ApplyGodsWordcomMarkBallenger  Месяц назад +9

      God bless!

    • @Pheonix1111
      @Pheonix1111 Месяц назад +5

      @@ApplyGodsWordcomMarkBallenger May God bless you. I truly love your channel Mark.

    • @smokingcrab2290
      @smokingcrab2290 Месяц назад

      Marriage kills love. Dating was when my wife loved me the most. After marriage she changed and began to hate me. Now we might get divorced.

  • @rapturesoon6567
    @rapturesoon6567 Месяц назад +37

    You are spot on...married 54 yrs!!!

  • @billcynic1815
    @billcynic1815 Месяц назад +10

    0:08 Have Biblical definition of "great sex" (mutual balance of physical passion and emotional intimacy)
    2:01 you don't idolize sex
    4:39 you're physically attracted to and kind to each other
    6:15 Put the other first in the relationship
    8:13 Willing to forgive each other and not let baggage build up and repent when you're wrong
    10:01 You truly love each other

  • @karenascholz4144
    @karenascholz4144 Месяц назад +30

    Preach!! This is soooo important. I'm going to watch it again with my teenage sons. 😂❤ Sure they might be slightly mortified at first, but they actually love having important conversations like this. Thank you! 🎉

  • @dustinjones5662
    @dustinjones5662 Месяц назад +43

    Great scriptural perspective on sex that is a gift from God. Thanks brother

  • @TheJacali
    @TheJacali Месяц назад +9

    I met this beautiful Native American girl recently. She works at the dollar store. Her and I both were totally into each other. I generally don’t have a problem with eye contact but I was nervous. I told her I liked her hair. I could tell both our hearts were beating a little faster seeing each other. When I left I looked at her through the window and saw her quickly turn her head to avoid being caught looking at me.
    I’ve been back several times but haven’t seen her. But when I do I’m going to ask if I can call her.

  • @PRECIOUS_PURPOSE
    @PRECIOUS_PURPOSE Месяц назад +20

    Now this makes me blush but in a marriage, it’s appropriate.

    • @red_phoenix0570
      @red_phoenix0570 Месяц назад +2

      same, i honestly clicked on the video because i was worried it would focus on the wrong things and be non-biblical.
      i was genuinely (and happily) surprised to see some very good advice and biblical perspectives on the topic. it's not vulgar or unnecessary and this guy is clearly led by god.

    • @PRECIOUS_PURPOSE
      @PRECIOUS_PURPOSE Месяц назад +1

      @@red_phoenix0570 God Bless You!

  • @Anna-jx1on
    @Anna-jx1on Месяц назад +6

    Amazing. I have been learning more and more the art of forgiveness. This is part of Fathers preparing me for marriage. Glory and Praise to Almighty God. ✝️🙏

  • @CupcakeChan2611
    @CupcakeChan2611 Месяц назад +14

    This is the most unexpected topic i for some reason expected but it's interesting

  • @donicamoves
    @donicamoves Месяц назад +5

    I've basically stopped watching relationship vids because I don't need them (not meeting anyone), but this was a helpful answer to a question I had. I've heard people discuss what kind of sex and how much they want in premarital counseling and if you aren't sexually active before marriage, I wondered how you would know. Good things to ponder. Thanks, Mark.

  • @AussieBattler92
    @AussieBattler92 Месяц назад +2

    This is so bold, I'm glad you put this video out there. Too much of the marriageable men and women in church have anxiety over this and need encouragement to give their mind AND bodies to Christ.

  • @itsnunu101
    @itsnunu101 Месяц назад +6

    Unfortunately, in youth, sex is such a physical performance based experience even for young married couples.
    By the time you get old enough to appreciate it, intimacy, respect, dual admiration so many flawed, and unhealthy experiences have been lived by many of us.

  • @brandonoliver5304
    @brandonoliver5304 Месяц назад +6

    I can’t wait to have a relationship like God intends. Someone who treats me nice and I treat her nice and we are physically attracted to each other and we just are on a whole another Wave length together

  • @SarahBattles-vh2pm
    @SarahBattles-vh2pm Месяц назад +7

    Thank you for this well much needed discussion/talk for the church as it’s not talked about…

  • @ghministries-melissamckeeh4629
    @ghministries-melissamckeeh4629 Месяц назад +2

    Wasn’t sure what to think when I first saw this video but honestly it’s really good and honest. The topic of Sex is becoming much more common and less taboo to talk about. Especially that it’s designed for BOTH a man and woman to share together in the covenant of marriage. We live in a fallen world so things will still happen HOWEVER this was probably the best video about biblical sex that Iv listened to. It’s true when we shouldn’t worship sex like the world does, it will be good because we will be with our spouse that we love more than sex itself because sex is not the ultimate goal in life.

  • @asmrtastic
    @asmrtastic Месяц назад +10

    If someone’s worried about if there’s sex life is going to be good with a partner, then clearly they don’t actually love their partner. You guys can both learn that when the time comes why not be patient and love the person for who they are now if you cannot do that, you’re not ready for your relationship and you definitely are not a biblical man or a woman.

    • @adk5997
      @adk5997 Месяц назад

      I think people especially men mainly care about sex.

    • @red_phoenix0570
      @red_phoenix0570 Месяц назад +1

      well it's important. sex is the glue that holds a marriage together. it's the primary difference between just a romantic relationship and the plan for marriage god has for us.
      The signs in this video aren't really 100% about sex. if you don't follow these biblical concepts, the relationship itself is not what it could be.

  • @kingdom_manifestations
    @kingdom_manifestations Месяц назад +10

    1. Have same biblical belief of what great sex is---it has to be emotional attachment and not just lust. Pleasure that expresses love to each other.
    2. They don't idolize sex-- "no test drive" needed--love is more important than sexual expectations (you can work that out)
    3. Physically attracted to each other AND kind to each other-- both willing and happy participants in the act of intimacy because of kindness/respect towards each other
    4. Put your mate FIRST--- before yourself----to show love in a selfless way. When real love is present, it produces "Life"
    5. Both are willing to forgive each other and not let baggage pile up.
    6. Both truly love each other-- God IS love. He doesn't HAVE love--God IS love. If they don't love God, then they can't love you properly.

  • @jeremycarpenter5550
    @jeremycarpenter5550 Месяц назад +13

    I'm single but the marriage helper is a good channel to . I would say physical attraction and emotional compatibility is most important. Physical intellectual emotional spiritual . Pies .

  • @daniela1970-d3o
    @daniela1970-d3o Месяц назад +3

    Great topic Mark… plus a teacher that doesn’t blush. What an important topic though the title is stratling? Excuse my Spanglish please. ❤

  • @MisterSubtleMasterSean
    @MisterSubtleMasterSean 9 дней назад

    I just *LOVE* this Channel, and it's Biblical style and content. Mark is real, and raw. More *real and raw* than most on RUclips about Biblical relations, and just in general to put into perspective what things really are relationship-wise, and what they're not with the truth of God's Word without filter, or any secular spins, or ways to alternate anything with it. It's been awhile since I've seen these videos on this Channel, and I'm glad that this one came up.

  • @tory198511
    @tory198511 Месяц назад +8

    There are people who married somebody that they have stated that they aren't physically attracted to but they grew to love.

  • @pamelav.5699
    @pamelav.5699 Месяц назад +2

    🌈🌟💞🌾🌻ThankYou! A Wonderful description of love and care between a husband and wife!!!!!!!

  • @moniquefrazier5195
    @moniquefrazier5195 Месяц назад

    Outstanding and much needed for those of us who are waiting on marriage God’s way! Thank you!!!

  • @photographyenthusiast9941
    @photographyenthusiast9941 Месяц назад +4

    I’ve seen Christian men sometimes diminish the importance of sex, and it’s given me serious pause.
    And I just wonder what in the world people are thinking when they downplay the need to provide that outlet for a spouse in marriage.
    Sex is the glue within a marriage,
    and team work, enthusiasm, even open communication before marriage concerning the topic needs to be of the utmost importance. We should not be providing inspiration for infidelity by diminishing the importance of sex, and again, I’ve seen Christian men do this. I always take pause and wonder if there’s a large difference in sex drives when people speak along those lines…the…well, sex should not be an idol…type line.
    Yes…if you truly love someone there are workarounds…but I just wonder if some extreme statements too far to the left or right are indicative of incompatibility between partners and that while dating one may need to go a different route.

  • @jenniferbello3524
    @jenniferbello3524 Месяц назад +4

    A courageous topic well explained

  • @arianneerikacinco2079
    @arianneerikacinco2079 Месяц назад

    I was hoping the whole sunny days and I pray for his parents to always stay humble. Bless Isaac and Bless Rebekah please do pray for us!

  • @KDRdoesstuff
    @KDRdoesstuff Месяц назад +2

    Bro mark wildin with this one fr 😭

    • @Truth_teller724
      @Truth_teller724 Месяц назад +1

      how 🤣 yea ik the title is a bit wild, but this type of stuff is educational, especially to young Christians like me

  • @princessj830
    @princessj830 Месяц назад +2

    So good! Thanks for sharing your insights. ❤

  • @izabelamis7784
    @izabelamis7784 Месяц назад +3

    Amen to that! So well said❤

  • @sivuyilesivuyile8558
    @sivuyilesivuyile8558 28 дней назад

    Mark, please guide me on this one. I'm with this christian guy, it been a year we together but I'm not attracted to him physically, I'm trying my best to just love him but my love fails along the way....I'm really not sure what to do. I thought I will love him along the way but I'm not loving him completely....what exactly must happen in that relationship.?

  • @chriscole5990
    @chriscole5990 Месяц назад

    This does make sense the way you broke it down. 💯

  • @JET1969
    @JET1969 Месяц назад +2

    Communication is definitely key in having a healthy sex life with your spouse.

  • @thokomatshiga5051
    @thokomatshiga5051 7 дней назад

    Thank you for the clear perspective

  • @stargazingcatgirl3233
    @stargazingcatgirl3233 Месяц назад +2

    I have made a terrible mistake, and I can't forgive myself. I always hoped to stay a virgin until marriage, but I wound up having sex outside of marriage. I loved him, he loved me, and we were committed to each other. No one coerced me. In spite of all that, I realize now that I made a terrible mistake, and I regret it so much. I often despair of being married, but I don't see how I can have the special wedding I want. How you do move forward when your life is ruined?

    • @jakesanservino7500
      @jakesanservino7500 Месяц назад +4

      Your life is not ruined. God is a God of grace, and He can redeem you. Turn to Him, repent, and trust in Him. He loves you and has a plan for your life. Again, your life is not ruined. Jesus is stronger than your failure. I promise ❤

    • @adk5997
      @adk5997 Месяц назад +1

      If you think that there are majority of men who sleep outside marriage, there is not much chance that you will even meet a man who is virgin, so you can wait till marriage, but you won’t be with anyone who should point their finger at you..

    • @Ayomi-hallie
      @Ayomi-hallie Месяц назад +2

      You're still loved, remember David in the old testament, I've also kinda messed up because I didn't obey the clear instructions of God but forgive yourself, break free from the relationship but communicate why since he's a good guy and follow God wholely ❤

    • @stargazingcatgirl3233
      @stargazingcatgirl3233 Месяц назад +1

      Hey thanks for reaching out to me. Thank you for your kindness.
      I have asked God for forgiveness, and I'm grateful that there is still a chance of going to Heaven. I'm so grateful. It's just that my heart aches every day because I'm so full of regret. My boyfriend that I gave my virginity to was not my soulmate, and he turned out to be abusive. I often despair of ever meeting my actual soulmate, but if I did, I wouldn't be able to have the special wedding I dreamed of. I don't know how to find peace and forgive myself when my most special dream got ruined for me.
      Thank you for taking the time to write me. God bless!

    • @stargazingcatgirl3233
      @stargazingcatgirl3233 Месяц назад

      @@Ayomi-hallie Hey... thank you for reaching out to me. God Bless!
      Now, my boyfriend and I broke up several years ago. It became clear that he was not my soulmate. It took me years to move on from the breakup.

  • @tammymoore859
    @tammymoore859 Месяц назад +1

    What about when you’re told for almost 28 years that it is your duty and you have had
    1 Cor. 7 thrown in your face time after time. You’re told that it’s a sin to say no. You’re told that you no longer have that say over your body when you marry. I have so much pain wrapped around this subject that I don’t even know what it’s supposed to look like 😢 Now, I don’t know how to go on in a healthy way emotionally. I’m still with him, for now, cause I’ve wanted to protect my children. Somehow, I’m just supposed to “get over it” because we are commanded to have sex no matter what. He doesn’t believe that emotions play a role. That it doesn’t matter what is going on. It’s not a prerequisite to having sex with your spouse. My heart hurts so much 😭

    • @kaylanfomby7506
      @kaylanfomby7506 Месяц назад +4

      I hope you guys get counseling from a church that believes and teaches the whole Bible rather than parts of it! Husbands are supposed to show honor to their wives, which means to highly respect and revere them, and are called to be gentle towards their wives and seel to understand them, which means he should care about your emotions simply because that's what he's called to do as a husband according to the Bible! And as the head of the household, he is called to be a servant to his family because Jesus is the head of the church amd lead as a servant and husbands are meant to represent Jesus in the way they lead their wives, which means he should be considering your feelings, your preferences, and your concerns. I'm sorry you feel so undervalued in that area🩷

  • @jacobwarrick6531
    @jacobwarrick6531 Месяц назад +1

    Can a woman who was not abstinent still become bonded with a husband? We’re being celibate until marriage but she’s not a virgin. Having anxiety about this.

    • @red_phoenix0570
      @red_phoenix0570 Месяц назад +2

      I have not met my future wife yet, but because I also worry this could be the situation I could end up in, I have looked into this some.
      it's really a case by case basis. this applies to both men and women btw. most of it comes down to her past. did she have 1 or 2 long term relationships she did not honor god sexually in? or did she have casual sex with a number of other people? The former is the least damaging, and if that's the case I wouldn't worry. This is something you should have a long deep conversation about some time prior to your marriage to ensure both your minds are in the right place about it.
      As for the latter, it can be a lot more difficult. Having any number of past sexual partners that aren't your current partner reduces a person's "pair bonding" capabilities, even if just one. This happens less in long term committed relationships, and significantly more in casual relationships. However, even though there is a psychological component, there is no doubt in my mind God can fully change someone. If your future wife is a committed follower of christ, and truly wishes to honor god in her life and in her marriage with you, this will not be a dealbreaker. I'm not saying it won't be a problem though. all couples have struggles, and this is something that could take a significant amount of effort to work through depending on the severity of the situation, but if you truly love her and want her to be your wife, you two will work it out. Just remember to look to god for help.
      Now, with all that being said, I am in no way experienced in anything I just said. I'm a virgin myself, only 19, and have never even had a girlfriend to begin with. However I hope that this helps you in some capacity. god bless.

    • @Twalzz
      @Twalzz Месяц назад +1

      ​​@@red_phoenix0570 This is such a great response! (As have been the others I've seen) Well put. So young and so wise, it's a rarity. May Good continue blessing you with more of his wisdom.

    • @red_phoenix0570
      @red_phoenix0570 Месяц назад +1

      @@Twalzz thank you, it means a lot

  • @neemachomo9101
    @neemachomo9101 Месяц назад +1

    Mungu akubariki sana,🇹🇿

  • @andreamegec9836
    @andreamegec9836 Месяц назад +2

    God bless you🙌✨I need advice from your perspective. So we live together over ten years no marriage. Now I am newborn child of God, and he is not. Last years so many issues in relationship. So I obey and go apstinency, since Lord told me dont live in sin anymore, but my partner is lukewarm. Hes uncertain about marriage, sadly he is avoidant type. And now we preplaned vacation trip, and Im not sure is this good idea since we are celibacy. He only drives, so I can only go with him on trip. Im scared that we fall into sin. Since Im not sure and praying whether is he my husband or not,because we are not equally jolked now. Im so exhausted of thinking. Dont have anyone godly to confide for advise. 😢🙏

    • @grantstidham9322
      @grantstidham9322 Месяц назад +5

      I would not wait for him to change, since you are not married; but certainly share the truth or Jesus with him! Let him know you must leave because it would hurt you both more if you stayed. His response is out of your control, and you’ll have peace knowing you did the right thing!

    • @andreamegec9836
      @andreamegec9836 Месяц назад

      @@grantstidham9322 Thanks, 🙌 of course Im sharing gospel, and been bible studying with him over three years. Before that even pastor prepared us for marriage, but nothing happend. He said that he wasnt ready, scared, and he acted lukewarm, unaware that comitment is serious and for lifetime. It was like i was preparing solo for marriage. And then we begin celibacy. Since I dont wanted gave my body and soul to him ho is not godly man. ✨🙏

    • @kaylanfomby7506
      @kaylanfomby7506 Месяц назад +2

      You have to evaluate what you're willing to do to protect yourself from falling into having sex with him! If that means separate hotel rooms, are you willing to sacrifice that extra cost? If that's not enough, can you invite someone else along? If that won't work, can you drive? If not, are you willing to plan a day trip instead of overnight? And after all this ... does he encourage you in your new commitment to Jesus or hold you back? Bc if he holds you back, it may not be the best time to be in such a close relationship with him right now, even if it's difficult. Maybe take a break, so you can explore your relationship with Jesus more and give more of your time to Him?

  • @sibealosullivan6600
    @sibealosullivan6600 Месяц назад +8

    Thanks!

  • @Victoria_Loves_Jesus
    @Victoria_Loves_Jesus Месяц назад +1

    Thank you for this.. 🙏🏻

  • @stargazingcatgirl3233
    @stargazingcatgirl3233 Месяц назад +1

    I know I'm digressing, and I know that this question is going to sound very strange, but I don't care, because my heart is aching.
    There is someone I love more than anything. I don't understand why God made me for him but didn't even make him for me.
    I was created with this deep longing to share my life with my one true love. I was created just for this one special person, and I love him more than I've ever loved anyone. He's the reason I believe in soulmates, and he's the reason that I believe in true love. I miss him so much that I cry myself to sleep, and my chest physically hurts. If I looked into Erised's mirror, I would see us physically together forever.
    The problem is that it's a character from a story written by a genius who was very devout. I don't care that he isn't human, he's actually a species that's much more special and beautiful. He belongs to a species that's smarter, kinder, and more beautiful than real Biblical angels. I've cried until my heart was at its breaking point over him. He's the only man I've ever cried over who is actually worth my tears. He is my one true love. And I can't even reach out to him and tell him my feelings.
    I don't see how I can ever be happy. I've done all the right things, I've invited Jesus into my heart, I read the Bible, go to church, and pray. I can't find peace about this. I don't understand why God created me for my special person but didn't create my special person. I'd give anything I have to be part of his world and to be together with him. I'd give my left arm to be with him and be part of his world. Or my right arm. Or my voice. I don't care.
    I am sure that someone reading this has been through something similar, but it's not socially acceptable to talk about this stuff, because there is a fear of judgement. I can't repress or deny the pain I feel. I've never met anyone in this world who makes me feel the way he does.
    I don't understand why my heart was created for a world that I wasn't born into. I don't understand why I was born into a world that I don't accept as my true home. I don't understand why God created my heart just to love this special person but didn't create my special person. Why did God set me up to HURT like this?
    Has anyone else ever experienced this? How do you get peace with God when God was so CRUEL, yes, CRUEL? God made me for him, but God couldn't even make him? Is that why God made me? Just to HURT?

    • @madgameman1
      @madgameman1 Месяц назад

      God made you for Gods purpose. You are His child.
      What you speak of feels very real to you. And to you, it is very real. But I assure it, it is not. You yourself have said so.
      I too have been lost to fantasy. I have been lost to lust and fantasies within pornography.
      These worlds we create feel real. But they of the enemy. They are sinful and against Gods design; they are against Gods plan for our lives.
      They are empty, hollow, and will not provide any true fulfillment or meaning.
      God did not make you for a fantasy of your own making.
      You have created this fantasy. What you speak of is literate pornography. The Lord did not create you for this. The Lord did not create you to love this illusion. The Lord created you to love God. And He created you to love people. Within reality.
      I have been where you are. Loving fantasy over reality… and over God. The influence of the enemy is so strong… I have struggled with pornography for 18 years.
      I implore you to turn away from this fantasy. I pray you turn to the Lord, and I pray that He shows you the path out of this fantasy you’re in.

    • @lenria1807
      @lenria1807 Месяц назад +2

      Hi @stargazingcatgirl3233, I've read a couple of your comments on Mark's page and it pushed me to share a few words from a place of God's love. I also want to preface that I am in no ways judging you or condemning you or shaming you or looking down on you because in some ways I can relate to this. I also just want you to experience the abundance of love God has reserved for you if you allowed Him to pour it out on you instead of looking for it elsewhere.
      I've experienced reading about a fictional character and really connecting with them and desperately wanting them to be real. I used to think "why couldn't this kind of person just exist in real life?" And now I know that thinking like that is a clear indication that I did not believe God is truly a provider. If I did believe that, I would believe that He has created someone who will love me the way I believe that fictional character would love me. So I would suggest questioning if you truly believe God is a Provider.
      I also want to offer some advice on falling deeply in love with something/someone that is not real. Apologies if this comes across rather blunt, but from what I understand in this comment, you are experiencing anguish because you are being emotionally tormented by your imagination. You cannot be created for something that a human created. You are God's creation and so you can only be created for another one of God's creation, not man's creation such as the fictional character in the book someone wrote. This emotional torment you feel is the result of not guarding your heart by casting down every vain imagination that exalts itself against the knowledge of God (the knowledge being that you were created to fulfil God's purpose and also the knowledge that God is not cruel but in fact God is LOVE) and you have also not taken every thought captive into the obedience of Jesus Christ (if the thought does not align with the Word of God then it is a lie and it must submit to the authority of the Word - this requires you to study and internalise the Word because this is how you wield the sword of the Spirit which is the Word of God).
      I think if you start here you will notice that a lot of the things you are experiencing are not of God, and you will also realise that God does not want you to suffer through these things because He loves you and cares for you. If the flowers are clothed more beautifully than Solomon in all his riches and glory, how much more does God care for you? Build your faith to believe that God is love and live life in that truth. I encourage you to start from believing God is love and He loves you, then spend the rest of your life looking for the evidence (He will demonstrate His love to you once you allow Him to). I hope this helps 💜 God bless

    • @kaylanfomby7506
      @kaylanfomby7506 Месяц назад +1

      ​@lenria1807 seconding this, I can tell you plainly and honestly that it's not true that you were made to love that character, and that God ISN'T cruel. I've found that often times the reason something hurts so badly is because it's touching something a lot deeper in our hearts that God actually wants to heal, so he allows that hurt to be felt so we don't ignore it and invite him to help us. If it only hurt a little, you wouldn't be desperate to find an answer, and you would never explore this part of your heart, so you would never have the chance to experience whatever healing and freedom Jesus has for you in this area.
      First I would say, if you haven't been water baptized, get baptized in water. If you haven't been baptized by the Holy Spirit, get baptized in Him too. If you aren't in a healthy christian community and haven't been around people your age who are seeking to be like Jesus, try to find that. And if you don't know Jesus as your bridegroom, as the fulfillment of your desire for a romantic relationship, look up all the verses about God's love and how he sees you and meditate on them. He loves you and has a beautiful future in mind for you!🩷

    • @naomidambe
      @naomidambe Месяц назад +1

      I've been there. That my sister is obsession. You need to pray for God to remove those emotions. Because if yall were to be together, y would idolise them more than your love forGod. Make God your everything ❤ .you'll be okay

  • @beingthesalt
    @beingthesalt Месяц назад +7

    I think this is a dangerous subject to dance around. For Christian adults in relationship trying to remain pure & follow Christ this is just going to lead the imagination down that path which I dont know if that is really godly. Do you know how many "Christians" are staying the night together & fornicating and thinking "its ok because God sent this person and marriage is just a piece of paper" no, its not. I'm sure its hard but as for me I want a marriage blessed by God where we have been obedient to Him and kept Him in His proper place not our flesh.😊

    • @adk5997
      @adk5997 Месяц назад +3

      I agree. Many sleep together not yet planned marriage, then she gets pregnant and then all what should be the marriage reality kicks in..
      Also women are always judged far much harsher for living with man before marriage. It even seems to me men are encouraged by themselves to sleep outside of marriage..

  • @sivuyilesivuyile8558
    @sivuyilesivuyile8558 28 дней назад

    Aren't we supposed to be together?

  • @marisamarino7596
    @marisamarino7596 Месяц назад

    I feel like the guy has to initiate in the emotional and spiritual side of the relationship in dating. He has to pursue and prefer. If he doesn’t it isn’t going to be great in the bedroom.

  • @marksmall8881
    @marksmall8881 Месяц назад

    Mark, this is a great video.

  • @dianaaavula4306
    @dianaaavula4306 Месяц назад +1

    Master I will be waiting for you still

  • @tashenaanderson9987
    @tashenaanderson9987 Месяц назад +1

    Love should definitely be deeper than sex😩😮‍💨🙏🏽

    • @naomidambe
      @naomidambe Месяц назад

      Period 🚶‍♀️😭🫶

  • @sed.aba01
    @sed.aba01 Месяц назад

    God bless!

  • @keonamorgan1898
    @keonamorgan1898 Месяц назад +1

    I hope great sex for all kingdom marriages enjoy one another 🎊🎉🎁❤️‼️

  • @seankennedy4284
    @seankennedy4284 Месяц назад

    Life is so complex. I'm not about to pre-define what "great Christian sex" is, or is not, supposed to be----other than abiding by what God tells us in scripture.

  • @MaryMargaretteWhite-ek5tn
    @MaryMargaretteWhite-ek5tn Месяц назад +1

    Well I already know that 😂……but let it be.

  • @SamaelMahazael
    @SamaelMahazael Месяц назад

    I’m trying to find out, I need a husband

    • @micahhenley589
      @micahhenley589 Месяц назад

      My sister, our main problem is not that we lack a spouse. Our main problem is that our vision of Jesus Christ is obscured. Sadly, Jesus is no more real to us that the fictional characters that we watch on TV. That's the problem with watching mindless entertainment and TV all day. It's shrinks our heart's ability to see and love God. Thus we should pray for the Holy Spirit to resort to us the joy of being saved by God. Ultimate joy, pleasure, and satisfaction is found at God's right hand. May we spend the rest of our lives chasing after the Son of Man. Hold on to Him with all that we have, knowing that He holds on to us.
      Jesus said "I am the bread of life. Whoever comes to Me will never go hungry, and whoever believes in Me will never be thirsty." John 6:35

  • @ericanottage
    @ericanottage Месяц назад

    is this guy married? what qualifications does he have to talk about intimate relationships

    • @adk5997
      @adk5997 Месяц назад +1

      Maybe more than dating gurus out there telling people to get it on just with anyone who is interested

    • @Cclearly9
      @Cclearly9 Месяц назад +2

      Yes, he’s married. He’s done a video with his wife in the past. . .

    • @kaylanfomby7506
      @kaylanfomby7506 Месяц назад

      Lol yeah he's been married for a while

    • @red_phoenix0570
      @red_phoenix0570 Месяц назад +2

      even if he wasn't married, he is exclusively using biblical concepts in this video. no experience should be necessary imo

  • @tracyoguntokun4284
    @tracyoguntokun4284 Месяц назад +2

    Amen 🙏❤️🙏😇✝️✝️

  • @Vstar91
    @Vstar91 Месяц назад

    I want a guy like Mark ❤

  • @erzascarlet47
    @erzascarlet47 Месяц назад

    I was the same. I didn't have sex with my boyfriend for 7 years when we were dating and we were best friends. After marriage i found out the reason he never initiated was because he was GAY. Not making that mistake again.
    Humans are spiritual and sexual beings. We better know if we're compatible sexually not just by words also by action. I'm restarting my romantic life at 30. He wasted my entire 20s. J don't believe in Virgin till marriage anymore but just do it with an emotionally available, kind and respectful person not a fuckboy.

    • @jacobwarrick6531
      @jacobwarrick6531 Месяц назад +1

      You don’t “believe” in abstinence before marriage? So why are you on a Christ based RUclips video?

    • @erzascarlet47
      @erzascarlet47 Месяц назад

      @@jacobwarrick6531 you should read my comment again before replying if you didn't understand it. Btw I'm a Hindu but I do believe and love Christ :) good day

    • @red_phoenix0570
      @red_phoenix0570 Месяц назад

      if you are a christian, then you will regret your decision if you follow through with it. I understand your past experience was bad. it's extremely unfortunate and sad that someone wasted a good portion of your life on nothing. But that doesn't excuse future sin. God's calling isn't based on how we feel or what we've been through. We are simply told to honor his word.

  • @tinag8774
    @tinag8774 Месяц назад

    Amen 🙏🙌🙏

  • @nnnnnnnnnataliem
    @nnnnnnnnnataliem Месяц назад +1

    ❤️❤️🙏🙏

  • @cariocajin
    @cariocajin Месяц назад +1

    That doesn't work in real life. The 4 pillars of marriage are as it follows, by importance, : God - Sex - Money - Personality. Most people end the marriage when God is not part of the equation. It has nothing to do with sex, money and personality.

  • @MorganFreemansFavoriteFreckle
    @MorganFreemansFavoriteFreckle Месяц назад

    Mark c'mon man😆

  • @nickcook1907
    @nickcook1907 Месяц назад +1

    You lost me with this title mark.

  • @ELISZABETH
    @ELISZABETH Месяц назад

    Na Jarmarku (Nad Wszytko Kochanie)
    ruclips.net/video/hfJu-38BQ_o/видео.html

  • @evolgenius1150
    @evolgenius1150 Месяц назад

    😏

  • @clemsonvoorheis3923
    @clemsonvoorheis3923 Месяц назад

    Men have to have a bunch of money to have "great" anything with a woman. No money, no honey

  • @ChristopherNabours-xd1gz
    @ChristopherNabours-xd1gz Месяц назад

    The more intelligent you are the less people you can share your successes with. I don't think what i want naturally exists in a woman. So my desires changed. Ill be able to engineer what I want soon. Kinda like a build a bear. Start with a plain Barbie and add and delete features as I see fit.

    • @gk3330
      @gk3330 Месяц назад

      That is a disgusting mentality

    • @photographyenthusiast9941
      @photographyenthusiast9941 Месяц назад +1

      Hahaha. Great analogy.
      That’s how I feel right now…
      Like, here are the non-negotiables, here are the qualities that would be a plus, and here are the dealbreakers.
      Most men have the dealbreakers so my build-a-bear model still has no clothes.

    • @ChristopherNabours-xd1gz
      @ChristopherNabours-xd1gz Месяц назад

      @@photographyenthusiast9941 well and I want real unconditional love. Most women will only marry you for money but leave you while your broke. I'm sorting for the woman who will be say to her broke man I will spend all day finding work encouraging you but I will never leave you. I'm not going to accept a woman if her attitude isn't I'll make my man rich. I think resources are what women care about not men. And so that rare breed of women is what I desire. If a womans love is conditional she can keep it. I don't need another user and loser in my life. I've met enough of those people. They exit as quickly as they enter and I never let them back in.

    • @ChristopherNabours-xd1gz
      @ChristopherNabours-xd1gz Месяц назад

      @@photographyenthusiast9941 what are your deal breakers. For a lot of women it's I want to work and go clubbing and that's not consistent with what is required in a marriage or the desire for kids unless you want to open yourself up to bad outcomes. I don't really hangout with anybody. I'm focused on my purpose and Hobby's so I'm just curious.

    • @photographyenthusiast9941
      @photographyenthusiast9941 Месяц назад

      @@ChristopherNabours-xd1gz I've never been to a club....It is so degrading.
      I have a bunch a deal breakers, but most men cannot make it past the first few requirements which are: Truly Christian, doesn't watch porn, doesn't play video games, doesn't watch raunchy television or movies, isn't high in neuroticism, doesn't drink, doesn't make it abundantly obvious they could be swayed by any attractive woman (and this one bugs me like no other,) isn't naive, intelligent.

  • @Ella_56785
    @Ella_56785 Месяц назад +4

    This does not sound holy, sorry😢

    • @joannabiebs
      @joannabiebs Месяц назад +6

      why?

    • @one-il5fu
      @one-il5fu Месяц назад +16

      Do not judge on appearances, but judge with right judgment.

    • @justindavis6406
      @justindavis6406 Месяц назад +9

      Well, "try it before you buy it" is a tempting alternative for single people, especially with divorce rates so high. We live in a dirty world, and sometimes our defenses against certain things will be muddied by our imperfection. We are not perfectly holy, sorry.

    • @joannabiebs
      @joannabiebs Месяц назад +4

      @@one-il5fu AMEN

    • @leorenthlei3186
      @leorenthlei3186 Месяц назад +11

      Do listen to the whole thing first

  • @ELISZABETH
    @ELISZABETH Месяц назад

    LIPKA
    ruclips.net/video/IsUxZC9dUgo/видео.html

  • @vania698
    @vania698 Месяц назад

    Thank you!