i never questioned my sexuality. I was always attracted to men and have only ever imagined myself with men. over quarantine i’ve been alone a lot and had time to overthink. I suddenly had this thought. I prayed for these to go away. I’m so scared and hate living everyday.
So I’m a girl and literally my entire life I’ve liked boys and it’s never been a question that I’m straight. But with this whole quarantine thing I developed hocd. I spend most of the day fine and knowing I’m straight, but then just randomly thoughts will pop into my head like what if your bi or what if you like girls. And I really dislike those thoughts, but I just remeber that people who actually do like girls like thinking about them and I don’t like thinking about them. I just remeber that these are only thoughts and that it’s not going to change my sexuality. I am straight and that’s okay.
how did you teach yourself to do that im doing alot better than what i did but sometimes the thoughts come back and when i pay more attention to them it makes me feel so bad about myself, ive been straight all my life and im nearly 16 ive never had any intention on being gay or bi.
isabella childs Yeah that’s how I feel too but you just have to realize that these are just thoughts and nothing more. For example, if you started thinking about how much you dislike your favorite food, it’s not going to change the fact that you actually do like it. Remeber sexuality doesn’t just change. I was doing good but over the past couple days it’s been kinda bad again, so just know you’re not alone!
@@anikabhatt1799 they just feel so real like my brain tricks me to thinking i wanna be gay then i freak out but whenever i accept the thoughts its scary af like i have always been straight and always wanna be, this lockdown is the main cause of this i swear
@@isabellachilds1326 ikr like being in the house all day is not helping, but i just try to stay busy. remeber that the fact that thoughts about being with a girl make you uncomfortable just proves that youre straight. stop feeling threathened by the thoughts and just think of them as a random thing thats popped into your head. you have to understand that these thoughts literally dont mean anything and if you give them meaning then you give them power and they will keep coming back
i'm suffering from this too. i don't want to give you reassurance but this thoughts are just thoughts. thoughts gives you suggestions and that's it. if it's uncomfortable, then it is uncomfortable. thoughts can't simply change your sexuality. don't pay attention to it. it will make it stronger. you have to remember that you are the boss of your mind. you'll be straight for the rest of your lives. trust me and you're not alone. we'll recover togethet from these demons
I’ve been going through the same thing since December 1st and for a whole month before that i just felt really depressed and didnt feel the same towards my girlfriend and had no reason why my life has been hell. And it tells me you dont actually care why are you acting like you do. You’re gay. You’ve done things in the past that means your gay (no i never had sex with a man) im homophobic but i cant even say that anymore.
Kwndnd Sjdhdh your not the only one man, I had the same thing where I didn’t have the same feeling towards girls and didn’t have erections for like a solid month but it subsided and you’ll get that feeling back.
Kwndnd Sjdhdh and I’m also homophobic I grew up like that and still sort of am but we have to let that go man it will only make our ocd worse if we hold on to it.
@@Kyle-bv6di it just started all of a sudden for me after watching a gay scene in a netflix series, I've had lots of fun with my gf and all of a sudden I'm filled with guilt and constantly thinking about it , my sex life is going down . How did you get past it ??
Same here probably around the same age as me. I've accepted that I'm bisexual or gay. I even went through years of ERP. This is clearly not in my head... Who knows fml
Same here, but it's just temptation, your imagination, it's not reality, so focus on what's important like studying Maths and get a partner who makes you feel who you are
8 years... Ive only had it for maybe 2 months. Im so sorry i dont know how youve made it this far if you indeed have. I hope youre doing better peace and love ☮️❤️✌️🎶
Deion Salone I always have to think about it, I'd rather be with men or women, but never get a result, is that normal? I never thought about that before Hocd
U gonna get over it watch when you start going around men again you be ok same wit me I had to wait to go around girls again but I stop having it n a coup days ago it just came out of no where but it’s gonna leave next week watch
You have no idea how much this helped me, the thoughts feel so real but every time I feel my anxiety go down I feel normal again, hopefully this helps me back to sanity again
I can’t stand this anymore it’s ruining my life. I’m sleeping all day, I’m not eating properly, I’m failing school, it tortures me everyday all day and I can’t fucking stand it please anything to make it stop please I’m so desperate at this point nothing helps.
You just should ignore them. When a question pops in your head dont answer them. Quit porn do not watch it even if you recover from hocd. Ive done this mistake and my hocd came back in a very disgusting way so do these what im telling you and you will recover bro but it also depends in your mindset.
I remember when I just disregarded these thoughts. I think COVID-19 and the quarantine def messed with our minds. Stuck at home and basically nothing to do except overthink and over analyze your thoughts. Normally, I feel like I would have disregarded these thoughts as I liked girls and I knew I liked girls. However, now I haven’t really had much interaction with girls and just keep imagining me in “gay” situations. It really is a never ending process of just imagining denying imagining denying. This started a few days ago and it keeps on persisting. Hopefully, this goes away and hopefully it’s nothing too serious.
the thing about ocd is, it doesn't matter how real it feels, it really has nothing to do with your sexuality. it's just really ocd fucking with your head. false attraction, false feelings, urges, body sensations, mental images, groinal responses, these things will feel real and it might feel that you like it. but it's just really fucking ocd. it's your anxiety and obsession playing games with you. so to those HOCD sufferers, accept the thoughts, they dont mean anything. they won't change your sexuality, it's genetically preset. so put your head up high and dont let ocd ruin your lives. have a blessed day!
Our sexuality is not genetically preset. We aren’t just BORN with a sexuality, that comes out over time 99% of time through our childhood/teenage years. And as far as OCD you can still have HOCD and realize that you are gay.. it may or may not be ocd telling yourself that it’s just ocd etc is a compulsion to give you some relief.
@@thetreasurer7531 you absolutely have a choice.. you may not have a choice on your attraction, but you have self control. You don’t have to life a homosexual lifestyle despite same sex attraction.
I’m doing the erp it’s the only thing that works for me. It’s fucking hard doing it because sometimes it feels so real. I really wish you all freedom from this I really do.
I am ready to end it all. I’m tired of feeling anxiety. I don’t even know if it’s anxiety anymore. I can’t even live anymore because it’s all I think about. I have no motivation anymore and am ready to die. I’m terrified that I’m simply in denial.
Don’t go that way man. I’m going through the exact same thing and it sucks. Sometimes u just have to learn to accept the thoughts and kind of just ignore them. The more u fear and think about it the worse it gets. Keep ur head up buddy seek help because there is light at the end of the tunnel 👍
@@vaultboy368 hm i have heard a lot of bad stories but its alway *fear* usually people think becus they get these thoughts what if they like butt stuff n try it and some like it but it makes it worse so they stop even tho their mind is telling them to do it, its hard
@@vaultboy368 yeah I was also experiencing many hocd sessions because of sum gay stuff when I was like 12. I hadn't got the concept of valentines day and my home had said if I brought him chocolate he'd give me an iPod he had. I never took it as gay since I had prepared a love letter for this girl I liked but when I thought back on it I thought it was confirmation I was gay but nowadays I know that what I was doing wasn't gay per say but just being a bro so stay strong man you'll get through this
i stopped watching porn as it made me less productive as a male .. thinking back, porn was used against me by my ocd, such as "who you look at? how you look at ? what you feel? who you like to be".. i did not want to stop porn as i thought it will increase ocd.. but then , i came across gary wilson's vid where he talked about harm of porn .. i found out that porn can feminize a male and make erectile dysfunction... my mind got conditioned to be aroused only by porn, not any woman ... thus i stopped watching that.. ocd tries to use it against me by saying "no, you are scared to be exposed to you truth about being gay" but the reason is not that..
Dude I think that’s what I’m going through. All my life Iv had crushes on girls but last month I developed hocd because I saw myself getting turned on by penises. I was horrified by this and started to have mild anxiety ever since. The thought of being gay just dosent sit right with me but my mind plays tricks on me and tries to make me think that I’d like being gay but another part me just dosent want that life. I’m not trying to sound homophobic because I’m not I support the lgbt but becoming one after a life of being straight is just scary for me. Iv been watching a lot straight porn and it still gets me going so I guess that’s a plus but still Iv been watching porn for a long time and I think that’s the reason why I’m beginning to view men in a different light now. It’s terrifying.
@@niiiish5383 the arousal part is groinal response.. it is not your fault and it is not gay. Many times brain creates independent thought and that makes independent reaction on body which is not from your inclination. Because what you might have seen, brain associated that thing as something to do with sex.. then it sent those related sensations. Not because you are gay..
@@niiiish5383 porn is kinda bad in a sense because porn creates mental compulsions and it is very bad for libido. It also makes you be conditioned to be aroused over only porn.
@@mathew1812 same. I dont wana be gay i wanna have a beatiful wife with my childrens and ive been straight for my whole life ive had crushes on girls but im a little bit nerd i dont speak with girls much. I have the same thought like you have no problem of being gay but i dont wanna be like that. I want to be straight all my life ive wished also for my birthday to god to only be straight for my whole life and to get over these thoughts
I've been plagued by hocd most of my life. As well as other obsessive thought disorders. I've only learnt that it is a form of OCD in the last couple of weeks. What a relief to know that I'm not the only one who struggles with this. I've always been attracted to women but hocd has me doubting myself on a daily basis to the point where I can't differentiate the truth from the false. It affects so much of life and I've had enough of being controlled by my thoughts
It is the only thing I think ab all day everyday and I get so anxious that I could just turn that way even though Ik that I can’t, but something in my head is telling me that I can turn that way or I already have
Whenever I watch teen webseries, and they show one of the character realizes that he/she attracted to same gender. I feel so scared and sometimes I feel good for them when they confess and get into relationship. I don't want to avoid anything from now, I want to recover HOCD.
I am a 14yr old male i have never even thought of a man in this way ever before. I was only attracted to women all my life. I kept checking the "am I gay tests". I never seen anything gay or thought of it. Ever since lockdown started i began to venture deep into my curiosity/thoughts my heart rate increased i felt pain in my throat because I thought I am gay or bisexual. Its been a cycle of checking and checking on Google and RUclips. I haven't even be diagnosed with ocd yet or I dont even know. For the past few days I had been feeling no anxiety I started thinking "does this mean I have accepted i am..." nowadays when I sleep intrusive thoughts pollute my head i try to get rid of them I dont want it!! Why did it have to be me... I am also experiencing some kind of groinal responses I want to cry but my brain keeps telling me stuff. I pray everyday for a better day but even when I pray intrusive thoughts flood my head. It feels so real I dont know what to do I am trying to act Happy when my family is around I dont know what to do!
Holy crap! I relate to most of this so much, (accept im thr opposite gender) especially the “if i dont feel anxitey ive accepted it“. Get better soon dude and know youre not alone. I think its normal at our age.
@@Eezkiel oh im so sorry to hear that, ive been doing ok. Ive found that (as hard as it seems) whenever you experience an unwanted thought feeling or image to say “ok, so?“ when you tell the obsessive voice in your head “i dont care“ it can actually really help. I know it may be hard to do this but just remember the starting point: they are just thoughts! Ive also started labeling thr thoughts in my head “intrusive“ and that has helped a little. I hope youre ok and let me know if you have any questions!
Me too bro me too. I am experiencing the same as you bro when i have no anxiety with these thoughts it feels like you are accpeting it. Someone said if you are born straight you are gonna be straight for your whole life and it goted me relaxed but idk why my brain is sometimes confused. I am a straight guy and i will always be but i dont know why i dont feel safe its like a devil will haunt me for my entire life until he gets what he wants but im never gonna do what the devil says because i feel it in my heart that im straight and always have been before. Im a little bit nerd and ive always been scared to talk to the girls i have crush on them. Now im in a diffrent school and tbh i dont like any girl in my class but i once had a crush for like 3-4 days to a girl and only thinked of her but i didnt like her in some days anymore. I hope we all get through this if you are struggling with something just dont hesitate i think you are suffering from what i am currently
To anyone who is suffering from Hocd trust these are just thoughts .the thoughts have become repitive because you are scared I would recommend y'all to read the book "Overcoming unwanted intrusive thought" You will actually come to know how your brain plays trick shot with thoughts Whether it be any type of ocd it will actually y'all I myself suffered through a lot of thoughts
I am fully cured just because of you .it has been almost 1 .5 years since I am cured .I was struggling for almost about 2 months but after your advice hocd was cured within a month almost .I don't remember that much ,but I just wanted to let everybody know that it can be cured . Thank you very much for this video .
Bro so I struggling with hocd for 1 month and rn the thoughts are really low no running or anything. Do you feel confused when this anxiety is low and thoughts what do you feel because. Right now I keep telling myself that I’m straight almost everyday and I am straight. Like what is the feeling when you are cured?
Im doing better im bale to go places and stuff i got triggered today and it was just anxiety looking at guys butt in a tv show and i just laughed and said hes thick and moved on lol keep moving on
I hate this. It comes and go for periods. But now it is at its worst. I know deep down im Straight but my brain keeps telling me that im lying to myself.
I let myself watch something gay related on tv but then my mind wants to say “ooh you’re gay”. I see a girl in public and I’m completely fine but then my mind goes straight to “do I like her? Do you desire a relationship with one? What if you look bi/lesbian?” Lately my anxiety hasn’t been showing up as much and it messes me up especially since I’m in a relationship with a guy and I love him so much and genuinely get turned on with him and enjoy having sex with him but my mind thinks “agh what if you don’t like it? What if you think of a girl during sex? What if you’re lying to yourself? Are you really turned on? You liar.” And I hate how when I text him my mind says “I’m gay” and I keep saying” no stop it” I want to just cry cause I feel like I am lying. This feel like my ROCD but then at the same time not and I get scared that what if this isn’t Hocd? Sometimes I do think maybe I am bi/lesbian but then I completely freak cause I know I’m not and I start to imagine being with a girl and it seems so impossible and unrealistic but still realistic. Ugh I feel so torn. I just want to be straight and not have another option. All I want to do is cry now.
I've had HOCD for two years now, my mental state has been destroyed and I don't think I'm straight anymore. This has ruined my life please I need help.
I am going through HOCD since the beginning of this pandemic. I overcame it in March this year and somehow it's back. It's convincing me this time that I am not straight but then I remind myself that it's nothing but my mind's trick. Don't worry, we have to get back stronger.
My HOCD convinces me over everything i do! I've done ERP and the anxiety is gone, and i dont think i do mental compulsions anymore, or even physical, but how long will this intrusive thoughts go away? Will it be forever??
When i observably notice it. That's where it still blazes. i learned how to to not give it a value and also acceptance and mindfulness is a vital treatment
I really feel like I’m recovering man! I can feel it like I don’t do certain things I used to or worry as much because I’m knowing I’m not gay. But! I’m still having these thoughts (gay thoughts) literally any thing triggers them.
isabella childs yes it is much worse when you give them attention, it’s like your brain lies to you and says you want these thoughts you really do wanna be what you’re thinking. But deep down you don’t want any of that
isabella childs I hope the best for us sufferers honestly this sucks, I’ve been with this for 3 months... having to deal with all this stuff. I honestly wish things can go back to the day before I got all of this.
Bro... iv'e had this stupid shit for 5 mnths trust me i know how it feels it sucks it's one of the worst things iv'e gone through and i get depresed bc i used to love when i'd get the fuzzy and warmth feeling when i hug my blanket bc i'd pretend i was hugging my crush now it's gone bc of this stupid intrusive thoughts... and the worst thing is she has a boyfriend now too but idk if i feel like im heartbroken or not... (i actually do a lil bit) but the reason why i say i feel like i dont care either bc i dont get as aroused to girls like how i used to anyway and feel like i don't have much attraction .. i dont get aroused to dudes either at least but it still sucks bc u can feel it throguh ur mind and it makes most ppl that are straight uncomfortable. ( i did go outside and saw some girls i thought they were pretty attrACtive) but ik i cant get fully hard to them.. the first time i got this tho it was even worse but now im to fighting it and its getting a lil better.. and thats some progress.. other than that tho i hope u get better don't let this stupid crap get to you brother ik we are all straight at least we are ok.. the thoughts really do get to u tho..
Is it normal that you suddenly have to test every man you see if you like him? I've only had that since my thoughts, even with men I've known for a long time
I get less anxiety from HOCD now but I am scared I have accepted that I am gay. I don't want to be gay, but I am lost. Can HOCD turn you homosexual? Plus I don't avoid it. But I am scared I am becoming more gay because I pushed through it. The things in the video have became easy for me. But this worries me into transitioning into a gay. I don't have any attractions towards men. I can't imagine spending life with a men. But my mind is like you are in denial and my mind is like opposing me. I have had crushes on girls on my life too. Please reply Ali.
I have had hocd from the young age starting with masculinity issues like i am emotional and little weak am I really a boy and I wanted to be a boy I have had fantasies about girls from the start. But I was being bullied for being weak and emotional. It triggered me a lot and now whenever I find a guy attractive I am not able to recognize he fact its normal and I am straight and I like girls. It gives me anxiety
I’m bi so standard hocd recovery advice never fully resonates 😞 The root of my sexuality ocd though is in my ROCD. I know I just need to do the work and disregard and push through but it’s so hard and scary because of how alienating it feels.
I stopped watching it and stopped masturbating and I felt good and got my attraction back for woman so I thought I was back to normal after like 10 days. Because I got my attraction back I started watching very little porn again but masturbating a lot over pictures for like 2 weeks. Now all the thoughts are back again and 100 times worse then before. I’ve sat in my room for nearly 3 days straight and eaten very little because of it. Everytime my dad asks me if I’m okay I just break down and start to cry and he just says tell me what’s going on. But if I tell him he will never look at me the same. And because I always cry when I’m asked if I’m alright it makes me think I’m in denial.
Rivsy it’s alright man. Same here. I feel better sometimes but wen I start masterbaiting a lot, these thoughts come back worse. Just know that porns not good for you, it makes hocd worse. That’s why I quit it. The thing that works best for me is to slow down on and masterbait only once or twice a week and wen you do masterbait, don’t do it to porn and pictures but wen you do have gay thought just tell yourself that these are just thoughts, so what if I’m gay.
@@Hrvey That's what porn does. Quit it for good and get CBT. Our sexuality doesn't change just like that. Remember we all feel as if we're the exception with OCD. It does this. See a CBT therapist who specialises in OCD. I am as well and we'll all get through this. Stay strong bud
@@johnD1998 You must also expose yourself to your fear bro. Also, remember that OCD attacks our most cherished values and for us that is being straight, we love our heterosexuality and that's what OCD attacked because it knows we will guard it the most and it will cause us the most stress. See a CBT therapist bro
ive never had any thoughts towards men(im a guy) and never questioned my sexuality but now that i have hocd it feels so real and at times i feel like im actually gay and i get this intrusive thought of two men having sex and theres times where it feels like i like it and then i freak out and get anxiety and i heard that there is this thing called a sexual orientation crisis and im scared thats whats happening and there was this girl i really liked but my brain is like well if any of the men in this room(i was in class)were gay you would like them and the only reason you didnt like them is because theyre straight but im really scared that last night when i imagined two men having sex for like a couple of seconds it felt like i liked it and im so scared right now
I am well aware the thought content doesn't really matter in terms of recovery but I just want to have a clear way to recover from this particular type of OCD
I'm suffering from ocd last 11 years.. Last year I knew about my ocd.. Its very difficult to control my thought.. Nowdays I'm suffering from HOCD.. I want to overcome from it...
Is it just me or when you do get over the thoughts and start to feel calm they come back saying oh these thoughts don’t bother you anymore you must’ve accepted taht your gay (I’m a straight male btw) these are making me so stressed out and tired idk what to do and I’ve been following the tips on how to recover
I’ve had ocd for over 20 years. It has been a nightmare. Possibly schizoaffective now. I have homosexual friends, but also have severe hocd from assaults and other traumas in my past. It is hard if not down right impossible to find affordable help that doesn’t just want to put you in a 12 step program.
Damn that’s sucks man. Yea I’ve had hocd for about 7 or 8 years and it’s sucks. I been actually getting better just by saying “so what if I’m gay, there just thoughts” if you say these things, they should help you.
i‘ve never been diagnosed with ocd, which is why idk if it‘s hocd or denial. My therapist is ill atm and i haven’t had the time to find a new one and idk what to do
@@kevintopete9337 Same I've always had intrusive thoughts and I've never done physical compulsions , which was hard for me to believe I had OCD. Now HOCD is just a subtype of pure OCD now you are obsessed with ur sexuality and later in life you might develop other themes and obsessions. If u have HOCD u also have OCD.
Yo its long but whoever cares to read thank you. So ive been going through what i think is HOCD (i match up with all the Symptoms). All my life ive looked at myself without a doubt being STRAIGHT, now i dont know if society has gotten into my mind at a young age and that ive programmed my mind subconsciously without eve knowing but i now damn well that i was so happy and always wanted a wife and kids one day. Im a 16 year old male and im worrying that puberty is showing me some hidden/secret self, Could this be the case??, The thing i dont get is why i get these wierd feelings without a lot of anxiety, like yesterday i intentionaly thought of a women in bed with me and i got happy and a warm feeling and ofcourse then i got the thought of a man, I didnt get that much anxiety from i but i worried and it sucks. I also dont know if im bi (i dont want people commenting "its ok to be bi" or "Being bi gives you two options" no no no no I DONT want 2 options i only want to be attracted to girls) No i know you can want stuff but you dont always get what you want and man does this scare me (wanting to be straight but im not). I dont know if im insanly deep in the closet or so scared to come out that i dont realize it or something like that. Its really sad because before i was so comefortable in my skin and didnt worry about JACKFUCKING SHIT of my sexuaality and knew i was straight, Now, not so much anymore. Ive fapped like crazy since i was 10 and maybe porn and fapping is then problem or maybe not, really hope it is. Ive lost the drive to be with women and what sucks is that i dont really care, and this destroys me. I feel kinda numb and its making me think im bi, I dont know if ill ever go back to my self where i loved myself and didnt worry about this or that im bi and deep in the closet and dont know. I dont know if ive been subconsciously been bi my whole life wihtout a clue or if its all thsi shit is HOCD. Thank you whoever reads this reallllllllly appreciate you.
I get you man. I recently just came out of a horrible six month bout with anxiety, and then this HOCD came. I haven't even gotten a chance to recover, and this thing comes up, so I'm not as reactive to this as I am to my other anxiety, and then my mind tells me that I'm gay because I'm not reacting to it as passionately. It's annoying. I've lost interest in fighting it because it's just been there for so long, and that scares me. I want to fight this, but I don't have the strength man. But, I feel like most people who are gay or bi like it, and just worry about coming out to peers and family. If we're so scared about being gay or bi, I don't think we are because we would like it. And most gay/bi people know when they're young. If you're like me, and you've had straight thoughts for your whole life, you're not bi or gay. It's just stupid OCD that feels so freaking real that it's hard to differentiate from the real world. If any of you reading this are religious, I'd appreciate a prayer.
@@sleep7270 I think we'll get through it. I've had HOCD once before, and I got over it. It's just so real when it comes back that it makes your question your whole life. You and I are straight my friend. And no amount of OCD can change that. Our minds are telling us this, and our minds are in our bodies. And we control our bodies. So I believe that we can do it. Stay strong. It's a tough road to walk to get cured, but it's walkable.
It baffles me as I will have the thoughts but when p go see my girlfriend and give her a hug I'm happy and I get the sensation of uno what plus when she cant see me or I cant hug her or kiss her I feel the pain in my chest that harmful feeling of pain. I love her to bits and I just hope these thoughts leave me alone.
Hyyy guys we are straight we know gay's can happy with there feeling and attraction and we know we have just thoughts and that thoughts killing us anyway don't fight with them you know u are not gay or bi anyway im struggleed a week with this and i just researched what is this and why did this happening and how gays feel there feeling every thing and maybe i think i know every thing about this and i find out i have hocd anyway im getting recover from this and you can too this is your anxiety makeing and your brain is tricking with you and we can recovery form this thoughts are thoughts have a nice day 😊
I always compare men to women and sometimes i feel like i like men more. Then i have to keep testing until i feel like i like women more. Is this an effect of the H-ocd?( im a male who has been attracted to women all his life until now)
Sparkly Salma im sorry you’re going through this. Im not an ocd specialist so i cant really help you, but the best thing you could do is go to a therapist. You see the thoughts arent the problems its the feelings that come with them and i learned that you should not do anything about the feelings and it will make you feel terrible but in the long run its going to help.
Frans Mierenneuker stop doing it, its a compulsion. Yes it is hocd but i shouldnt even be reassuring you bc its only going to be worse in the long run. Dont react to the thoughts. You are not your thoughts. If you say youre straight them you ARE straight.
Let me tell you a little story bud. Once a little boy was born and he had blonde hair , pretty face and was given beautiful name. What could go wrong one might say? His parents were troubled throughout their lives, but they raised him how they knew best. They weren't alcoholics or drug addicts , but the kid was a bit off. Would make impulsive decisions without thinking , wouldn't care about anything too much , unmotivated , but somewhat loving person. Unfortunately, kid felt physical and mental abuse, became distant and easily scared by people, felt into drugs and all that made him very antisocial person. After graduating high school he moves to England, London to start living his independant life so to speak. After couple years he gets hit on by a gay guy at his friends place. For him it was the worst day in his life and he wished he could go back in time and just smash his head into a wall until he is out of his misery. When he goes to sleep all kind of thoughts start bombarding his brains just one after the other and he wakes up different. He can feel that today is just different , the way he looks at people , the way people look at him. Like his whole life he keeps this to himself , after a bit his girlfriend leaves him. He is in such confusing state right now he starts thinking about suicide:-I couldn't choose how i was born , so i will choose how i am gonna die , there is no other way.. He stops going to work , jumps back into drug and alcohol abuse like never before and starts thinking of a way to do it fast and painless , but he is scared shitless. After few attempts he understands this won't be as easy , he even starts looking to buy a pistol as a last resort. He wastes all his money and he has nothing left. So he moves to Oxford to live with his brother's family , but he brought something with him...a dead man...he was a dead man walking. All he could think about is suicide and kept planning how to do it. In two years he tried to commit suicide around 15 times in various ways, i am not even talking about ones he didn't do. During this time he did a lot of researching about gay people , disorders and so on. He started believing all kind of things. Now he wasn't only convinced that he is gay , but serial killer and child molester too , even started getting inappropriate thoughts that he sexually attracted to some family members.. However , he never actually killed himself no matter how close it was. Eventually his brother found his journal of him planning to hang himself and they had a talk about it. For a bit it seemed fine , but his thoughts won him over again and he ended up in hospital because of poisoning. He comes back to his country and everything is so different to him , starts talking therapy because he thinks all this was just depression where it might have been suppressed feelings and emotions, because of all shit he had to go through. After a month of therapy they still have no clue what is wrong with him , so he stops going there and it seems he is in same boat again, but with more knowledge as if it helped. After sometime he finds something interesting on the internet called HOCD , he never heard of it before and researches all about it. His jaw drops and he bursts into tears...: I cannot believe i nearly took my life and inflicted life long pain to many people.. He realised that there was hope , after 2+ years of constant falling he is ready to rise again. So listen i know there is a lot of shlt out there , a lot of things we might not understand , but giving up won't give you the option to come face to face with your nightmare. Keep fighting , future You will be glad you took my advice ;)
P.S. boy's name was Valentinas. This was meant for one comment , but i have this feeling in my gut that this might save a life.
Valentine Giedraitis this was very nice :) I wish you the best in your recovery, just know it is not the smoothest process and you will have times where you think “what if it’s all just denial or suppression” this is why I keep a journal of my journey, it helps me see the patterns and debunk my ocd myths. I always keep track of when I feel good around men again ( I’m a girl ) and when I feel normal, etc. it truly helps. Just keep pushing in recovery, you will eventually be who you once were.
Brooke Jett even with knowledge i have today , every day gives me something new from time to time , but i am not scared any more. I SAY BRING IT THE FUCK ON!!!!
It’s HOCD bro trust me I had for 6 months but in the begging I was able to beat it but short term and it returned so you can beat it butttttttt, as you said about the doctor it’s HOCD when I first had it, it was worse before I saw any guy and my HOCD would say I liked him I have a crush and I wanna do sexual acts, and I’m like the straightest person you would have ever saw and having HOCD scared tf outta me, I’m able to control it a little bit and now able to hangout with my guy freinds again but your not in denial if your born liking girls then that’s it and it’s always gonna be like that. If you have the groinal response it makes things harder witch I have but don’t worry it’s not denial.
I'm bisexual and I have OCD. There is a big difference between fearing that you might be something (HOCD) and feeling joy and elation every time you think you might be gay or bisexual. I'm the latter. That's how to figure out what is REALLY going on. Judge by the feelings... generally, OCD manifests as fear or worry. Just so you know what it's REALLY like to be Bi or gay.
I'm 21 years men and I was always straight and I'm straight right now but in quarantine and because of overthinking suddenly men doing sexual thoughts comes to my mind,when I had gone for wandering with my friend.., it is been 4 months...M I straight or gay_?? Or bisexual Please answer
@@pabitrafun1344 It all depends if you like your thoughts about men. It still doesn't mean you are bi or gay but it starts to give you a clue, something to think about.
I've always liked girls, I've always had crushes on girls, but then I saw a very disgusting image on the internet, and then that image came back to me, it never turned me on, but it always came to mind and it disgusted me. I avoided a lot of things, right now I started to avoid a lot of things, but when I forget about those thoughts of “what if I'm gay?” I quickly become how I was before, I think pornography has to do something with it, but I'm not sure. I quickly became homophobic, I wasn’t before I didn’t care about people being gay, but now I have a fear and I can’t look at my friends or anything. It’s really really bad, but when I see a beautiful girl I always forget about it. I don’t know what to do. I've been felt attracted to woman since forever, I didn’t know this was a thing I thought it was only me. I think I should stop watching pornography because it might be one of the reasons this is happening. I just want to feel the same way I felt about woman like I did before, sometimes I think about it logically and then the thing goes away, but it always comes back. What should I do?
Ali can u please make a video about lost of attraction Opposite sex. I lost all of IT in hocd. And still dont have IT back . IT scares me . Like i never had it
@@sdb244 i have hocd because of porn. 5 days ago i was on a 2 weeks no masturbate streak then all of a sudden i have no interest on girls. i really panicked and i thought i was gay then i found out i was on a flatline phase of no masturbate. IF I KNEW ABOUT THE FLATLINE I WOULDN'T HAVE TO GET THROUGH THIS HELL! so my advice is just let it happen and pray to god that all of this will stop
I just thought I would drop another line here, after thinking about it. I have the opposite of HOCD. I'm fully bisexual/biromantic and constantly doubting it, despite huge evidence over my entire lifetime. Crushes, boyfriends, desire to kiss guys. And I still keep doubting. That's the power of OCD. It can really ruin your day!
@Jim Newt When I was younger I was terrified when my first sexual experience was gay and when I was hit on by gay people. When I worked on myself to just not care anymore, my true feelings were able to come out. The straight people I know don't really fret much if a gay person hits on them. They brush it off and not worry about it. If it really makes you want to vomit or do self harm, then I think there is some deep fear that somebody else put into you, or some other thing like OCD responsible. I'd check out therapy for that.
I was raised to fear homosexuals and I was terrified if they hit on me all the way into my mid-20s. But I noticed I was attracted visually to both men and women and I thought it was something else. Maybe it is something else. I just don't care anymore. It's all beautiful. But remember it took me 30 years to get to that point ....
bro you need to stop trying to prove to yourself you aren’t gay. That’s part of the problem. You want to say maybe it’s true and then move on with your day and not think about it too in depth
you’re not accepting that you’re gay. You’re accepting the fact that you had a thought that could mean you’re gay. Ocd works because your keep saying “oh no it’s true.” The only way to get over it is to say “whatever” or something similar when you have a thought and then not respond to the thought in depth
Now I’m scared of looking at rainbows eating sprinkles and I’m scared of putting my hair a way these things bother me I don’t want to be gay I even look at women still I still have in attraction to woman and I don’t want to be gay there’s just a thought in my mind saying say your gay you would be happy and it scares me I want to be straight I look down on the Community of gays I want to be straight heck I’m like a girl right now and am about to ask her out in a few days so good luck to me so I know I’m straight I like a lot of girls but I’m scard now because yesterday I had a gay nightmare and now i’m dramatize and I only ever liked girls anytime I look at a girl most of the time i think she’s hot and I’m a Christian to and my parents look down on it and I look down on it what triggered my hocd is my friend did something gay to me then I was at a sink for 10 hours no he forced me to I had no will I was asleep at a sleepover and when I heard I threw up I threw up I was at a sink washing myself off the death then the next day I got scard but I should not of been because I was looking at women and my attention to them has not changed I’m just scard of the what if I pray to god and this is something I never understood I have 2 ocds I have harm ocd and hocd when rarly my hocd goes away my harm ocd comes in there was only one day since I started having these ocds where I got both to go away I just want both of them to go away for ever and they were starting to till I had a nightmare not I’m scard I want to marry a girl I want to have kids with her I’m just scard of the weird images in my head I don’t want to do the only way I can get them to go away is I yell poof and punch my stomach and I’m scard of being gay I don’t like saying the word I get disgusted by it I don’t want to be gay I want to be straight and for some reason love songs triggers my hocd and now I’m scard and wondering is it hocd plz someone help I’m scard of saying it to anyone but I want to be straight I’m scard of not being it while I’m writing this I’m kinda of having. A panic attack I’m t trying to come down but it’s hard I want to be straight but I’m scard of not being straight so someone plz help and I know I’m still straight I still like women now that you read my story what do you say
Aye man don’t worry about the nightmares I had the same thing too but in the end everything was all right, and if your scared that’s the worst way to recover, just live your life like you use to sounds hard but it’ll be alright
I started doing erp but then i get thoughts like " I am not suppressing my gay thoughts these days may be I have accepted that I am gay, oh God! I am not Gay!" Please someone tell me this is normal 🙏🏼
Omg! I havent started erp yet but I do this ALL THE TIME! It's like I'm able to ignore the thoughts for once and then it just makes everything worse. I've only been dealing with this for a month and a half and I'm already falling apart.
Alia Du same with me once I feel good myself and knowing I’m not gay instantly goes back to those thoughts again and it keeps going on and on I dont know what to think anymore
Aight so, when I was little I thought of myself having sexual feelings towards a dude. I did it on purpose for some odd reason, probably just out of curiosity. Then I just thought it was weird and wack, and why would I even do that. But then YEARS later I thought about the memory again. I was confused if it was actually just an early sign of homosexuality. I was always attracted to girls, but I always knew if a man was attractive or not because I grew up with 3 girls, and they would tell eachother if a boy was cute or not (not sure if that’s weird or not). Anyways I’d have these compulsions to focus on good looking girls, instead of men who are mainly attractive. But whenever I see an attractive dude, I feel like my stomach is twisting because I don’t know if I’m really attracted to them. I’ve had compulsions for about 4 years and I don’t know what to do. I’m almost certain I’m very much attracted to girls, but I’m just confused if it’s the same for guys as well. Please let me know if you guys think I’m bi or hocd. Or if you have anything to help me, considering it’s been about 4 years with this condition
I Would definetly say that if you have had conpulsions to watch Good looking women you have hocd. Btw the twisting thing in your stomac i have had that to.
Ignore it. It is absolutely normal. And ignore it when it happens again. And third time too etc. Only through repetitive ignoring it will eventually go away. But BEWARE, when it happens, don't fall into fearsome thoughts like 'but I've been ignoring it a while already, isn't it meant to go by now?'. Don't chase the end result, focus on the present and just don't do anything about it every time for as long as it needs. It can be weeks or months. Not doing anything about it means going about your day further, not stopping and focusing on these thoughts and questions. E.g. you're at a gym's locker room changing after a workout; a guy (I assume you're a guy) is changing in front of you, you get anxiety, thoughts, sensations, erections - whatever. Ignore, keep on changing - because this is what you came here for. What helps also is Ali's suggestion to treat the thoughts/sensations as an annoying neighbour who shouts at you trying to provoke you to respond to him. Your attitude should be: 'Oh, that's you again, shouting. Ok, cool, keep on shouting, go on for as long as you want, I don't care.' Also, adding a pinch of humour always helps. So you've changed into your clothes, you leave the gym, and if the "annoying neighbour" attacks you on your way home trying to make you analyse what happened back at the gym - your reaction should be the same as earlier. For some time these thoughts and sensations will seem very real, and it will just require almost a blind belief in their fakeness from you. But if you will just keep responding to the "neighbour" in that manner day after day, making it a habbit, without trying to figure out when will it all finally end, at some point you will suddenly realise 'oh, I remember I was bothered by this thing, and I had these weird doubts and thoughts and sensations. How weird is that, that's no longer part of my life.' You won't be able to remember the exact day or week when this change occurred, and it won't matter either. At that point, it's very important to just move on and never look back. Good luck!
@@horadley2531 Thanks for your help. I appreciate it a lot! I wan't to ask you something though; do you think there is a danger in repeating to yourself that it's just my "annoying neighbour"? . I think that get's into a similar realm of saying "it's just my OCD". I tried that and didn't see as much progress as I would have liked to. I think the trick is to treat the threat as if it's real. To say to yourself "I might be gay". Only then can our mind start to accept uncertainty and lower anxiety over time. Uncertainty is at the core of any OCD, regardless of the theme. You're absolutely right about not reacting to intrusive thoughts. I think everyone agrees that if intrusive thoughts come into your head, the best thing to do is to not react to them. This eventually takes away their power overtime and become less stressful and anxiety inducing. What I'm currently doing is treating the threat of whether or not I'm gay as if it's real and allowing myself to feel that OCD anxiety (ERP). It's only after I did that, did my mind fully start embracing uncertainty. It's helped me a lot. What are your thoughts on that? What OCD did you go through and what methods did you use? I'm really interested to know, because one size doesn't fit all and many people did get better with Ali's method. I'm a male by the way. You were right about that.
@@chinmay6249 I'll answer your questions in a bit of a structured manner and will lay out a few practical take-it-or-leave-it advice tips afterwards. 1. I had severe HOCD, obsessions about anything that causes slight anxiety (such as hypochondria), OCD about leaving the gas on when I leave home, compulsive picking on nails and fingers, etc. This eventually led to insomnia and depression. I have sufficiently recovered since then and, using Ali's terms, I am currently around the 4th (final) stage of recovery, where I don't get anxiety, thoughts almost never pop up in my head and I have been liberated from the doubts and gained self-confidence. I still occasionally deal with the urges to check whether I have "really" recovered. Good thing I know the right way to deal with the urges. 2. I have tried many methods including hypnotherapy, before I've found Ali's channel. Ali's way of handling it has proven to be the most effective. 3. The quote about the "annoying neighbour" wasn't meant as an actual line you are supposed to say in your head. It was just the way that I described the attitude you should develop. To reiterate, at the time when you are triggered or thoughts or sensations occur, you have to be conscious of the fact that you're about to get washed over with an aggresive wave of anxiety and very distressing feelings, and you need to accept being washed over with these feelings and anxiety, and just experience these all the way through without doing anything to stop it. 4. You know yourself better from within, and if agreeing with the message that the OCD sends you works for you - I as a random stranger on the internet cannot say if this is right or wrong. You say you get less anxiety this way - that means it works for you. In my case, since I am quite a visual thinker, what helped me was externalising my OCD, by imagining it as a sort of a separate entity, like a demon, who follows me and tries to confuse me and scare me. This helped me in being conscious of the fact that these thoughts and sensations are not me, but they're something separate that affects me. This is why the metaphor about the annoying neighbour made sense to me. Our minds are all similar, yet very individual at the same time. A few practical advice tips taken from my experience with OCD and especially HOCD. This is in addition to your ERP work: 1. Quit watching pornography if you have such an issue. Completely and for good. If it's tough, do it with the help of a therapist. 2. Go to bed and wake up at the same time every day, including weekends, allowing yourself 8hrs of sleep every night. 3. Introduce regular physical exercises, every day if possible. It is especially good if you do it in a company of one other or a group of people, and also if it's outside your house - a gym or outdoors. 4. Make sure that you spend some time outside every day. 5. Stop searching for answers online. At some point, maybe even now, you have to stop watching Ali's videos, write comments, check forums, or anything OCD-related. Your response above points at the fact that you are already very well-informed on how to deal with your OCD. Asking for more answers/trying to clarify things will keep you away from your recovery. 6. One thing that helped me A LOT personally was quitting social media (reddit, facebook, twitter and instagram). It was a game changer in many ways. Social media feeds of human weaknesses and compulsions. 7. Socialise and try to focus on REAL (as opposed to digital) life as much as you can. The more your attention will be focused on other people, the better. 8. Make sure you are occupied during the day. If needed, write yourself schedules or to-do lists for every day, so that at the time of rumination or an urge to check stuff online you can refer to the list and switch to a relevant activity that you planned for today. 9. Develop a playful and humorous way around it. It is crucial to just keep it cool, peaceful, no panic, no feeling of guilt or blaming yourself for anything. I hope this helps. I don't know if you are a man of faith, but I will pray for you and I wish you a speedy recovery!
What if i dont have anxiety, and intruisive thoughts? I cant stop thinking about whether i am gay or not, and i have also lost my attraction towards women. Can this still be OCD?
As I have learned about hocd, I came to realize that for most people the o side of hocd is more of importance than the c side. But what if you feel c to visit gay bars and clubs, is that still hocd or something different?
the problem for me in hocd is that when these thoughts started happening, I started thinking I found every man (im a boy) attractive and good-looking when I didn't before. I also started thinking I have crushes on loads of my mates and random people I see when before these thoughts I used to have loads of crushes on girls and always been attracted to them. How can I stop thinking this because I need help?
Bro we the same. I always been straight and chasing only women. Every time I see an attractive dude sometimes I get anxiety like I cant breath sometimes my face turns red but im thankful for the masks it covers my face. I can truly say I never gotten an erection from a guy or would ever flirt. I even tried watching gay porn but it was a major turn off. It all started when I was working and I saw some dude smile and I kinda smiled back just to be polite. I had a gay vibe from him and the entire week I would constantly think about it and it would hurt my head because I thought I just turned gay then weeks later I notice guys more and I hate it. The truth is we arent in denial we didnt turn gay people dont just turn gay. We just need to not ignore the thoughts or run away but face them saying "oh there it is, its nothing to do with me and its not personal, and there it goes its away". Practice and we will live to tell this(if you want) as a struggle because the mind is truly powerful. I learned it can be your greatest enemy if its not tamed
@@endangeredmexican9644 bro ive tried also to avoid the thoughts it has worked for me to recover but than the thoughts came back in more bad way because i thought the hocd was gone and i started to watch porn which was a bad mistake. I will also do what you said to face them but in what way? I have done a straight test and i was 97% straight which i was really really happy but the thoughts are still in my mind i tried to avoid them but the thoughts are still on my fucking mind.
I'm 21 years old men..I was always straight but I had sexual thoughts about my sisters and ocd too and I have also overthinking...but in quarantine I suddenly felt like I'm doing sex with men...from that time I went through depression and now it seems like HOCD... someone please answer me that m I gay or bisexual or gay_???? Although I'm still not doing sex with men and don't want at all 😭
Ever since I was born I’ve had attraction towards women and only thought of women sexually/romantically. I’ve had HOCD for 11 months and it’s been absolutely hellllllllllllllll.It’s now making me think I’m bi Reasons why: - I don’t have anymore anxiety or attraction to women (not often) - is not scared of the thought or distressed of them like I used to when I first got HOCD - Everyone says they get shameful or guilty but I don’t feel like that - I’m 16 so it’s making me think “i don’t know myself” or that I’m changing with puberty
Never listen to your heart, you have to remember your origin and never let go of the real you, practice saying " I love women and I will fall in love with my girlfriend" tons of times and attach an emotion to it so that you can rewire your brain
I have this problem too I loved women ever since and I have multiple crushes and I'm still thinking about this girl I like and idk why ever since I watch porn this has happened to me
Hi Ali, I wanted to ask a question or maybe I could get some advice? I struggle with hocd, but lately I have 0 anxiety and I still have many intrusive thoughts. Really I have many, I still obsess, analyze and look for reassurance because although it still worries me, I have no anxiety. The thoughts also feel very real like this must be true. I guess I want to know if this is normal? Or if it’s part of a recovery process? I do not do ERP, because I’m over the anxiety. Yet I still obsess and I worry about my sexuality and about what xyz mean. I see that thoughts only feel real because of anxiety but I don’t have anxiety anymore and they still feel real? I hope you read this, and maybe give me some advice or insight. Thank you so much!
Im in the same situation. I also have a loss of attracion and it sucks so much. Sometimes i wish i had panic attacks, cos it would be a proof that it's hocd.
did you had homosexual dreams? and felt aroused? what does it mean do i want those dreams to be true? I am so terrified I don't know if I'm accepting to be gay Or if I force myself maybe I'll like to be one I am so terrified please help
can Hocd people realise they are Gay does Or Hocd mean we are not Gay. I have been diagnosed with ocd by 5 therapists but I then see people saying Hocd people can realise they are Gay I am so confused
No if you have hocd then your Not gay. If someone realizes that they are gay then that means they were in denial. Hocd and denial are two different things.
What’s the different between Hocd and denial then because don’t a lot of people with Hocd think they are in denial. My ocd therapists has aid this on his article so does this mean people can be gay from the first sentence t is not at all true that having HOCD indicates you’re not gay. To be clear, it also doesn’t indicate you are gay! Having HOCD doesn’t tell you anything about your sexual orientation whatsoever. All it tells you is that you have OCD about your sexual orientation, which you already knew. drmichaeljgreenberg.com/articles/marks-gay-and-thats-it-a-response-to-mark-ameen-johnsons-article-about-hocd/
Blade118 Ok. Hocd is wen a straight person has a fear of being gay, denial is wen a gay person who knows deep down he’s gay but has the fear of coming out as gay. That’s the difference.
I have be diagnosed with ocd by like 5 therapists but my thoughts are so graphic 24/7 I feel like I know I am gay and just in denial I feel I know I am don’t want to be. My life has changed over the last 12 months massively to a point where I started kissing walls, bending over, role playing, etc imagining kissing every bloke I see , family, friends
Blade118 damn. Yea I know how you feel. I did a lot of that stuff too wen I was young. I’ve had hocd for about 6 years. It sucks. Remember it’s not real but the fact that you don’t want to be gay shows that’s it is hocd. That’s how I figured out cause if you were really gay then you would want to be gay. Its does get better tho.
I am so confused as my therapist said people with Hocd can realise they are Gay and just because you have HOCD doesn’t mean you’re not. I am so confused as my therapist says it’s just Ocd and I am not a gay but I feel strongly that I am. My ex partner has said this is just OCD can someone with Hocd realise they are Gay as I feel I know I am so can this just be denial as thought this meant I wasn’t. Have a been lied to for years or misled about what ocd means
I had lost my libo, did checking and reassurance for 2 weeks but I only have the urges I’m trying abstain from porn ( day 2) just make sure this isn’t the addiction I didn’t have a problem with using anything but gay porn or anything(still don’t) I get groinal responses and urges and I’m afraid that I won’t get my attraction to females back because the constant habit of questioning I just don’t know anymore if I’m recovering
Someone pls help I’m a male and I’ve been attracted to girls all my life I lost sleep over them. One day I said what if I like a boy and it all started it’s been months and it’s been getting worse before it was what if and know I see pics in my head and get weirdly aroused I also feel like I might be attracted to guys but I don’t know if it is me or my mind playing tricks on me
hi can someone with hocd realise they are gay as the more i go through this the more i feel and know i am. i have been diagnose with ocd and told i am not gay but i feel i know i am
If it doesn't cause you to much anxiety and realize MD that you were attracted to the same sex just a bit that means you may have been in denial, but if it's always in your head and causes so much anxiety and panic that makes you feel sick then it's hocd.
@@fareehamustapha9556 it does cause me aniexty so much and have been with a girl for over 10 years but this is what i think of constantly was it jus denial. my therpaist says i have severe ocd with the things i do so does this mean i am not gay
@@fareehamustapha9556 is doesnt make me sick either, when i think about doing these things i can see myself doing it and feel i want so can someone witth hocd realise they are gay then
What a strange video. People struggling with accepting their sexual orientation don't have OCD. They have painful and consuming cognitive dissonance. Of course their minds are burdened with never-ending thoughts and questions about who they are and how they want the world to know them. They're dealing with a battle to continue living a lie, where the status quo will go on as expected, except the life ahead is desperately lonely since no one actually loves them for the persons they are. Or the mind is balancing living their authentic lives, which is liberating and honest but comes with costs like being shunned by family and friends and perhaps church fellowship. And they resent this outcome because it's irrational and unfair and shines their loved ones in an unflattering, small-minded, judgmental light. Forget "HOCD." Read up on cognitive dissonance and the tricks we play with our minds to make the pain go away, sometimes to our own detriment.
Read up on HOCD before you assume :) it is quite prevalent in the ocd community and majority of the time people with hocd are very accepting of people in the LGBT community. There’s a reason therapists treat this and also why there’s success stories of hocd recovery. It does exist, and to tell people they don’t have ocd when they clearly do, is damaging and can cause people to possibly commit suicide. Be mindful of what you say. Bc this is not the place for that.
drop thank you, I remember seeing comments like this at the beginning of my recovery and thinking they must be true, but truly for anyone struggling with ocd, the only people you should trust with info regarding your theme is 1. Other sufferers of that theme . 2. People who treat that theme. Or 3. Just people who are simply educated on the theme. It saved me a lot of mental pain from listening to people who had no idea what they’re talking ab.
I have this for 4 years! It all started when a gay tried to groom me! In the beginning i vommited with the thoughts and the fear and anxiety made it feel like OCD now i dont even have fear or anxiety and it makes it much more scary! In the beginning of this i watched only lesbian porn so to not get triggered cause if i was watching straight porn my hocd told me things (if i make my self clear) in general everytime i watch porn i feel like sit cause hocd turns everything to gay even though i watch only straight or girl on girl porn. On top of all this i was stalked by a chomo and this really fkd me up as i didnt had enough of the first incident that starded the OCD. I feel with so many chomos outhere, so much propaganda and brain washing a lot of straight guys are going to suffer from this..especially those that wanna be real alpha men in the traditional sense! Maybe HOCD is the consience way of taking revenge on you for not releasing your masculine urges! I wanted to destroy both the first chomo that tried to groom me and also the second chomo that stalked me but i cant cause i have a family and i dont want to do jail for life i think HOCD is the way my manhood is taking revenge on me!
i never questioned my sexuality. I was always attracted to men and have only ever imagined myself with men. over quarantine i’ve been alone a lot and had time to overthink. I suddenly had this thought. I prayed for these to go away. I’m so scared and hate living everyday.
Same but I'm a boy the thought of being gay scares me
Same
Oh my god thats exactly what happened to me , these thoughts just came of nowhere
Same and I’m really scared 😖
Same
This rarely gets talked about
So I’m a girl and literally my entire life I’ve liked boys and it’s never been a question that I’m straight. But with this whole quarantine thing I developed hocd. I spend most of the day fine and knowing I’m straight, but then just randomly thoughts will pop into my head like what if your bi or what if you like girls. And I really dislike those thoughts, but I just remeber that people who actually do like girls like thinking about them and I don’t like thinking about them. I just remeber that these are only thoughts and that it’s not going to change my sexuality. I am straight and that’s okay.
how did you teach yourself to do that im doing alot better than what i did but sometimes the thoughts come back and when i pay more attention to them it makes me feel so bad about myself, ive been straight all my life and im nearly 16 ive never had any intention on being gay or bi.
isabella childs Yeah that’s how I feel too but you just have to realize that these are just thoughts and nothing more. For example, if you started thinking about how much you dislike your favorite food, it’s not going to change the fact that you actually do like it. Remeber sexuality doesn’t just change. I was doing good but over the past couple days it’s been kinda bad again, so just know you’re not alone!
@@anikabhatt1799 they just feel so real like my brain tricks me to thinking i wanna be gay then i freak out but whenever i accept the thoughts its scary af like i have always been straight and always wanna be, this lockdown is the main cause of this i swear
@@anikabhatt1799 but like everyone says if you were straight before hocd then your always gonna be straight so
@@isabellachilds1326 ikr like being in the house all day is not helping, but i just try to stay busy. remeber that the fact that thoughts about being with a girl make you uncomfortable just proves that youre straight. stop feeling threathened by the thoughts and just think of them as a random thing thats popped into your head. you have to understand that these thoughts literally dont mean anything and if you give them meaning then you give them power and they will keep coming back
i'm suffering from this too. i don't want to give you reassurance but this thoughts are just thoughts. thoughts gives you suggestions and that's it. if it's uncomfortable, then it is uncomfortable. thoughts can't simply change your sexuality. don't pay attention to it. it will make it stronger. you have to remember that you are the boss of your mind. you'll be straight for the rest of your lives. trust me and you're not alone. we'll recover togethet from these demons
I don’t feel my normal self I just want all this to go away so I don’t have the guilt in my anymore towards my girlfriend, help
I’ve been going through the same thing since December 1st and for a whole month before that i just felt really depressed and didnt feel the same towards my girlfriend and had no reason why my life has been hell. And it tells me you dont actually care why are you acting like you do. You’re gay. You’ve done things in the past that means your gay (no i never had sex with a man) im homophobic but i cant even say that anymore.
Kwndnd Sjdhdh your not the only one man, I had the same thing where I didn’t have the same feeling towards girls and didn’t have erections for like a solid month but it subsided and you’ll get that feeling back.
Kwndnd Sjdhdh and I’m also homophobic I grew up like that and still sort of am but we have to let that go man it will only make our ocd worse if we hold on to it.
@@Kyle-bv6di it just started all of a sudden for me after watching a gay scene in a netflix series, I've had lots of fun with my gf and all of a sudden I'm filled with guilt and constantly thinking about it , my sex life is going down . How did you get past it ??
Connor12 R1333 sake I hv a girlfriend I love her this is damn corruption
This is the worst ocd I have ever suffered and it’s been going on for 8 years.
Vincent Lam damn
Same here probably around the same age as me. I've accepted that I'm bisexual or gay. I even went through years of ERP. This is clearly not in my head... Who knows fml
Same here, but it's just temptation, your imagination, it's not reality, so focus on what's important like studying Maths and get a partner who makes you feel who you are
8 years... Ive only had it for maybe 2 months. Im so sorry i dont know how youve made it this far if you indeed have. I hope youre doing better peace and love ☮️❤️✌️🎶
@@jackcharlie5344 I only had it for 2 weeks... My solution was simply to change lifestyle
also does anyone feel like the thoughts feel real and like you can’t distinguish between fear of desire and real desire. like i don’t know what to do
Yes bruh but we’re good because our subconscious mind can’t tell the difference between a truth and a lie
Deion Salone I always have to think about it, I'd rather be with men or women, but never get a result, is that normal? I never thought about that before Hocd
Yes this is very common
Shruthi are you a malayali
U gonna get over it watch when you start going around men again you be ok same wit me I had to wait to go around girls again but I stop having it n a coup days ago it just came out of no where but it’s gonna leave next week watch
Thank you Ali you saved My life
Joe hassloaf you good now bro I have it but I think am about to be normal again
@@chito87 how do u feel now?
@@chito87 how do you feel now
You have no idea how much this helped me, the thoughts feel so real but every time I feel my anxiety go down I feel normal again, hopefully this helps me back to sanity again
I can’t stand this anymore it’s ruining my life. I’m sleeping all day, I’m not eating properly, I’m failing school, it tortures me everyday all day and I can’t fucking stand it please anything to make it stop please I’m so desperate at this point nothing helps.
You just should ignore them. When a question pops in your head dont answer them. Quit porn do not watch it even if you recover from hocd. Ive done this mistake and my hocd came back in a very disgusting way so do these what im telling you and you will recover bro but it also depends in your mindset.
How are you now?
Could you make a new hocd video because it seems like their are so many people suffering from it since covid 19 lockdown
Yes ! I started suffering since the lockdown and it still here .
Sylia Touati me too
shruthi narayanan me too
shruthi narayanan Malayali aaano ?
@@daisyy3051 RIGHT? I went from simping over every k-pop man too literally wanting to die cause of these stupid thoughts
I remember when I just disregarded these thoughts. I think COVID-19 and the quarantine def messed with our minds. Stuck at home and basically nothing to do except overthink and over analyze your thoughts. Normally, I feel like I would have disregarded these thoughts as I liked girls and I knew I liked girls. However, now I haven’t really had much interaction with girls and just keep imagining me in “gay” situations. It really is a never ending process of just imagining denying imagining denying. This started a few days ago and it keeps on persisting. Hopefully, this goes away and hopefully it’s nothing too serious.
the thing about ocd is, it doesn't matter how real it feels, it really has nothing to do with your sexuality. it's just really ocd fucking with your head. false attraction, false feelings, urges, body sensations, mental images, groinal responses, these things will feel real and it might feel that you like it. but it's just really fucking ocd. it's your anxiety and obsession playing games with you. so to those HOCD sufferers, accept the thoughts, they dont mean anything. they won't change your sexuality, it's genetically preset. so put your head up high and dont let ocd ruin your lives. have a blessed day!
Thank you!! That messages gave me so much motivation g! You be blessed yourself to man 💯
@@MarioGarcia-ef3qf im a woman tho, haha! ocd may not have a cure, but we can recover and live a life the way we want it! : ))
Our sexuality is not genetically preset. We aren’t just BORN with a sexuality, that comes out over time 99% of time through our childhood/teenage years.
And as far as OCD you can still have HOCD and realize that you are gay.. it may or may not be ocd telling yourself that it’s just ocd etc is a compulsion to give you some relief.
@@Dub_97 then by your logic, being gay is a choice, then?
@@thetreasurer7531 you absolutely have a choice.. you may not have a choice on your attraction, but you have self control. You don’t have to life a homosexual lifestyle despite same sex attraction.
Thank you Ali. This video is extremely helpful. Please consider doing a live stream or a Q and A video on hocd also?
I’m doing the erp it’s the only thing that works for me. It’s fucking hard doing it because sometimes it feels so real. I really wish you all freedom from this I really do.
How did it go? I’m considering it
What it erp
@@devontesmith6141 don’t consider do it
I am ready to end it all. I’m tired of feeling anxiety. I don’t even know if it’s anxiety anymore. I can’t even live anymore because it’s all I think about. I have no motivation anymore and am ready to die. I’m terrified that I’m simply in denial.
Don’t go that way man. I’m going through the exact same thing and it sucks. Sometimes u just have to learn to accept the thoughts and kind of just ignore them. The more u fear and think about it the worse it gets. Keep ur head up buddy seek help because there is light at the end of the tunnel 👍
Yo if u don't wanna be gay ur not
The only way to be gay is if u want to
@@vaultboy368 hm i have heard a lot of bad stories but its alway *fear* usually people think becus they get these thoughts what if they like butt stuff n try it and some like it but it makes it worse so they stop even tho their mind is telling them to do it, its hard
@@vaultboy368 u want my snap? Cus sounds like ur at the rough part
@@vaultboy368 yeah I was also experiencing many hocd sessions because of sum gay stuff when I was like 12. I hadn't got the concept of valentines day and my home had said if I brought him chocolate he'd give me an iPod he had. I never took it as gay since I had prepared a love letter for this girl I liked but when I thought back on it I thought it was confirmation I was gay but nowadays I know that what I was doing wasn't gay per say but just being a bro so stay strong man you'll get through this
i stopped watching porn as it made me less productive as a male .. thinking back, porn was used against me by my ocd, such as "who you look at? how you look at ? what you feel? who you like to be".. i did not want to stop porn as i thought it will increase ocd.. but then , i came across gary wilson's vid where he talked about harm of porn .. i found out that porn can feminize a male and make erectile dysfunction... my mind got conditioned to be aroused only by porn, not any woman ... thus i stopped watching that.. ocd tries to use it against me by saying "no, you are scared to be exposed to you truth about being gay" but the reason is not that..
Dude I think that’s what I’m going through. All my life Iv had crushes on girls but last month I developed hocd because I saw myself getting turned on by penises. I was horrified by this and started to have mild anxiety ever since. The thought of being gay just dosent sit right with me but my mind plays tricks on me and tries to make me think that I’d like being gay but another part me just dosent want that life. I’m not trying to sound homophobic because I’m not I support the lgbt but becoming one after a life of being straight is just scary for me. Iv been watching a lot straight porn and it still gets me going so I guess that’s a plus but still Iv been watching porn for a long time and I think that’s the reason why I’m beginning to view men in a different light now. It’s terrifying.
@@niiiish5383 the arousal part is groinal response.. it is not your fault and it is not gay. Many times brain creates independent thought and that makes independent reaction on body which is not from your inclination. Because what you might have seen, brain associated that thing as something to do with sex.. then it sent those related sensations. Not because you are gay..
@@niiiish5383 porn is kinda bad in a sense because porn creates mental compulsions and it is very bad for libido. It also makes you be conditioned to be aroused over only porn.
@@mathew1812 thx bro I had lots of tensions
@@mathew1812 same. I dont wana be gay i wanna have a beatiful wife with my childrens and ive been straight for my whole life ive had crushes on girls but im a little bit nerd i dont speak with girls much. I have the same thought like you have no problem of being gay but i dont wanna be like that. I want to be straight all my life ive wished also for my birthday to god to only be straight for my whole life and to get over these thoughts
I've been plagued by hocd most of my life. As well as other obsessive thought disorders. I've only learnt that it is a form of OCD in the last couple of weeks. What a relief to know that I'm not the only one who struggles with this. I've always been attracted to women but hocd has me doubting myself on a daily basis to the point where I can't differentiate the truth from the false. It affects so much of life and I've had enough of being controlled by my thoughts
I've had SOOCD since childhood!
It is the only thing I think ab all day everyday and I get so anxious that I could just turn that way even though Ik that I can’t, but something in my head is telling me that I can turn that way or I already have
I thought u got better ?
drop it comes and goes I have my days but I am getting better and staying positive
Same
Whenever I watch teen webseries, and they show one of the character realizes that he/she attracted to same gender. I feel so scared and sometimes I feel good for them when they confess and get into relationship. I don't want to avoid anything from now, I want to recover HOCD.
I am a 14yr old male i have never even thought of a man in this way ever before. I was only attracted to women all my life. I kept checking the "am I gay tests". I never seen anything gay or thought of it. Ever since lockdown started i began to venture deep into my curiosity/thoughts my heart rate increased i felt pain in my throat because I thought I am gay or bisexual. Its been a cycle of checking and checking on Google and RUclips. I haven't even be diagnosed with ocd yet or I dont even know. For the past few days I had been feeling no anxiety I started thinking "does this mean I have accepted i am..." nowadays when I sleep intrusive thoughts pollute my head i try to get rid of them I dont want it!! Why did it have to be me...
I am also experiencing some kind of groinal responses I want to cry but my brain keeps telling me stuff. I pray everyday for a better day but even when I pray intrusive thoughts flood my head. It feels so real I dont know what to do I am trying to act Happy when my family is around I dont know what to do!
Holy crap! I relate to most of this so much, (accept im thr opposite gender) especially the “if i dont feel anxitey ive accepted it“. Get better soon dude and know youre not alone. I think its normal at our age.
@@abbym9468 Hey thanks for the reply this really made my day glad I am not alone 😊 . And yes this probably is normal at our age
@@abbym9468 How are you doing? It's getting worse for me
@@Eezkiel oh im so sorry to hear that, ive been doing ok. Ive found that (as hard as it seems) whenever you experience an unwanted thought feeling or image to say “ok, so?“ when you tell the obsessive voice in your head “i dont care“ it can actually really help. I know it may be hard to do this but just remember the starting point: they are just thoughts! Ive also started labeling thr thoughts in my head “intrusive“ and that has helped a little. I hope youre ok and let me know if you have any questions!
Me too bro me too. I am experiencing the same as you bro when i have no anxiety with these thoughts it feels like you are accpeting it. Someone said if you are born straight you are gonna be straight for your whole life and it goted me relaxed but idk why my brain is sometimes confused. I am a straight guy and i will always be but i dont know why i dont feel safe its like a devil will haunt me for my entire life until he gets what he wants but im never gonna do what the devil says because i feel it in my heart that im straight and always have been before. Im a little bit nerd and ive always been scared to talk to the girls i have crush on them. Now im in a diffrent school and tbh i dont like any girl in my class but i once had a crush for like 3-4 days to a girl and only thinked of her but i didnt like her in some days anymore. I hope we all get through this if you are struggling with something just dont hesitate i think you are suffering from what i am currently
To anyone who is suffering from Hocd trust these are just thoughts .the thoughts have become repitive because you are scared
I would recommend y'all to read
the book
"Overcoming unwanted intrusive thought"
You will actually come to know how your brain plays trick shot with thoughts
Whether it be any type of ocd it will actually y'all
I myself suffered through a lot of thoughts
How is your ocd now?
When I go out especially to parties. I'm afraid of being judge and in order for me to not think about it I have to get drunk to fell natural
I am fully cured just because of you .it has been almost 1 .5 years since I am cured .I was struggling for almost about 2 months but after your advice hocd was cured within a month almost .I don't remember that much ,but I just wanted to let everybody know that it can be cured .
Thank you very much for this video .
Bro so I struggling with hocd for 1 month and rn the thoughts are really low no running or anything. Do you feel confused when this anxiety is low and thoughts what do you feel because. Right now I keep telling myself that I’m straight almost everyday and I am straight. Like what is the feeling when you are cured?
@ I don't eat burgers please give me some tips,i can't go to a therapist.
@@potaragaming4159 how r u now
Im doing better im bale to go places and stuff i got triggered today and it was just anxiety looking at guys butt in a tv show and i just laughed and said hes thick and moved on lol keep moving on
@@potaragaming4159 cool dude I also told myself maybe I'm bi but who cares I'm gonna date a women😂(I know im straight)
I hate this. It comes and go for periods. But now it is at its worst. I know deep down im Straight but my brain keeps telling me that im lying to myself.
Hey listen bud dont let it bother u. Gays r "sexually confused" if they waited to let their brain process it then they would be straight
Yea sometimes you beat it and comes back and it’s hard to recover from but it gets better
I let myself watch something gay related on tv but then my mind wants to say “ooh you’re gay”. I see a girl in public and I’m completely fine but then my mind goes straight to “do I like her? Do you desire a relationship with one? What if you look bi/lesbian?” Lately my anxiety hasn’t been showing up as much and it messes me up especially since I’m in a relationship with a guy and I love him so much and genuinely get turned on with him and enjoy having sex with him but my mind thinks “agh what if you don’t like it? What if you think of a girl during sex? What if you’re lying to yourself? Are you really turned on? You liar.” And I hate how when I text him my mind says “I’m gay” and I keep saying” no stop it” I want to just cry cause I feel like I am lying. This feel like my ROCD but then at the same time not and I get scared that what if this isn’t Hocd? Sometimes I do think maybe I am bi/lesbian but then I completely freak cause I know I’m not and I start to imagine being with a girl and it seems so impossible and unrealistic but still realistic. Ugh I feel so torn. I just want to be straight and not have another option. All I want to do is cry now.
I think I feel the same too exactly the same
Great video super informative! Keep up the great work, you’re a great person.
I've had HOCD for two years now, my mental state has been destroyed and I don't think I'm straight anymore. This has ruined my life please I need help.
You are straight, just that these thoughts are trying to prevent you
I am going through HOCD since the beginning of this pandemic. I overcame it in March this year and somehow it's back. It's convincing me this time that I am not straight but then I remind myself that it's nothing but my mind's trick. Don't worry, we have to get back stronger.
Thoughts alone can’t change your sexuality your believing the lies and that’s what you should NOT do.
My HOCD convinces me over everything i do! I've done ERP and the anxiety is gone, and i dont think i do mental compulsions anymore, or even physical, but how long will this intrusive thoughts go away? Will it be forever??
The thought will go away when you don’t give it the attention it desires or just don’t care
How long have you had this
When i observably notice it. That's where it still blazes. i learned how to to not give it a value and also acceptance and mindfulness is a vital treatment
I really feel like I’m recovering man! I can feel it like I don’t do certain things I used to or worry as much because I’m knowing I’m not gay. But! I’m still having these thoughts (gay thoughts) literally any thing triggers them.
im the same, it feels worse when you pay attention to them but when you ignore them it doesnt affect me as much
isabella childs yes it is much worse when you give them attention, it’s like your brain lies to you and says you want these thoughts you really do wanna be what you’re thinking. But deep down you don’t want any of that
@@MarioGarcia-ef3qf i have been suffering with this for 3 weeks but its seriously ruining my life i just want everything to go back to normal
isabella childs I hope the best for us sufferers honestly this sucks, I’ve been with this for 3 months... having to deal with all this stuff. I honestly wish things can go back to the day before I got all of this.
@@MarioGarcia-ef3qf it is kind of reasuring when if you have been straight all your life before hocd then you always will be straight
I was doing well today but then I saw a girl and thought she was pretty and I got scared and I feel like crying now
Same sister but now I m recovering😁
easy drawings that’s good that ur doing better do you have any tips? 😔
@@doiewrld are u good now?
@@chano5757 I’m doing better now I still have the thoughts but I try to just let them sit there :)
@@doiewrld good:)
Thanks a lot, Ali! Great video!
Why do false attraction feel so real
CloudPlays RBLX HOCD?? 9 months
Bro... iv'e had this stupid shit for 5 mnths trust me i know how it feels it sucks it's one of the worst things iv'e gone through and i get depresed bc i used to love when i'd get the fuzzy and warmth feeling when i hug my blanket bc i'd pretend i was hugging my crush now it's gone bc of this stupid intrusive thoughts... and the worst thing is she has a boyfriend now too but idk if i feel like im heartbroken or not... (i actually do a lil bit) but the reason why i say i feel like i dont care either bc i dont get as aroused to girls like how i used to anyway and feel like i don't have much attraction .. i dont get aroused to dudes either at least but it still sucks bc u can feel it throguh ur mind and it makes most ppl that are straight uncomfortable. ( i did go outside and saw some girls i thought they were pretty attrACtive) but ik i cant get fully hard to them.. the first time i got this tho it was even worse but now im to fighting it and its getting a lil better.. and thats some progress.. other than that tho i hope u get better don't let this stupid crap get to you brother ik we are all straight at least we are ok.. the thoughts really do get to u tho..
E͎i͎x͎r͎y͎ can you explain how it feels to you. If I see it on tv or real life I have anxiety and I’m wandering if it’s ocd or true
Cloud Plays how did you recover from it please tell I’m suffering.
@Arth Shukla what the fuck dude, Thats downright Stupid and horrible to say to ocd sufferers. You could send someone into panic attack.
Love these comments bro💪🙏
Yes i need not to AVOID. I always postpone things that makes my OCD worst ! im fed up with my mind and anxiety. I have a problem to take a decision!
Is it normal that you suddenly have to test every man you see if you like him? I've only had that since my thoughts, even with men I've known for a long time
Yea
Me too bro
Yes
In the case of a straight man, It happens to me with woman, I have to look at them and see if they attract me.
I get less anxiety from HOCD now but I am scared I have accepted that I am gay. I don't want to be gay, but I am lost. Can HOCD turn you homosexual? Plus I don't avoid it. But I am scared I am becoming more gay because I pushed through it. The things in the video have became easy for me. But this worries me into transitioning into a gay. I don't have any attractions towards men. I can't imagine spending life with a men. But my mind is like you are in denial and my mind is like opposing me. I have had crushes on girls on my life too. Please reply Ali.
Hi how is it going u gotten any better?
Thank you mam, it is helping me to understand that this is just an hocd, God bless u
how are u now
I’m 16 and have had HCOD FOR 1 year and it’s been hell. I don’t know what to do to get myself happy and feel like me again.
No fap .
Yes it is the cure to the mentally illness both of us have. Though it is extremely hard to do.
Sir Damian will only stop watching porn help the most or semenretention
BENJAMIN don’t spill a drop
same
I have had hocd from the young age starting with masculinity issues like i am emotional and little weak am I really a boy and I wanted to be a boy I have had fantasies about girls from the start. But I was being bullied for being weak and emotional. It triggered me a lot and now whenever I find a guy attractive I am not able to recognize he fact its normal and I am straight and I like girls. It gives me anxiety
How are you now brother ?
Can people with this kind of ocd have successful marriages and relationships? It feels so hard
Anything is possible just be strong
Obviously 😄
Well just overcome it and accept it’s just hocd and it’s all in your head and once you got control of your anxiety then yea it’s possible
Who has recovered from HOCD ? Comment if you have
I’m bi so standard hocd recovery advice never fully resonates 😞 The root of my sexuality ocd though is in my ROCD. I know I just need to do the work and disregard and push through but it’s so hard and scary because of how alienating it feels.
what are your root fests with SOOCD?
same here
Since u re bi please tell me, i still be feminine ? U still wear dresses and do make ups with long hair ?
First step is to quit watching pornography.
I stopped watching it and stopped masturbating and I felt good and got my attraction back for woman so I thought I was back to normal after like 10 days. Because I got my attraction back I started watching very little porn again but masturbating a lot over pictures for like 2 weeks. Now all the thoughts are back again and 100 times worse then before. I’ve sat in my room for nearly 3 days straight and eaten very little because of it. Everytime my dad asks me if I’m okay I just break down and start to cry and he just says tell me what’s going on. But if I tell him he will never look at me the same. And because I always cry when I’m asked if I’m alright it makes me think I’m in denial.
Rivsy it’s alright man. Same here. I feel better sometimes but wen I start masterbaiting a lot, these thoughts come back worse. Just know that porns not good for you, it makes hocd worse. That’s why I quit it. The thing that works best for me is to slow down on and masterbait only once or twice a week and wen you do masterbait, don’t do it to porn and pictures but wen you do have gay thought just tell yourself that these are just thoughts, so what if I’m gay.
@@Hrvey That's what porn does. Quit it for good and get CBT. Our sexuality doesn't change just like that. Remember we all feel as if we're the exception with OCD. It does this. See a CBT therapist who specialises in OCD. I am as well and we'll all get through this. Stay strong bud
@@johnD1998 You must also expose yourself to your fear bro. Also, remember that OCD attacks our most cherished values and for us that is being straight, we love our heterosexuality and that's what OCD attacked because it knows we will guard it the most and it will cause us the most stress. See a CBT therapist bro
MrFlyingSourcer it feels so real. I don’t feel the same anymore. I feel like I’m acting gay and feel like I don’t want to be straight when I do
ive never had any thoughts towards men(im a guy) and never questioned my sexuality but now that i have hocd it feels so real and at times i feel like im actually gay and i get this intrusive thought of two men having sex and theres times where it feels like i like it and then i freak out and get anxiety and i heard that there is this thing called a sexual orientation crisis and im scared thats whats happening and there was this girl i really liked but my brain is like well if any of the men in this room(i was in class)were gay you would like them and the only reason you didnt like them is because theyre straight but im really scared that last night when i imagined two men having sex for like a couple of seconds it felt like i liked it and im so scared right now
Hocd does this bro
HOCD is hard because of the groinal response and false attractions tbh
Hmm what do you mean? Can you explain ?
If the gronial response was never a thing everyone would have been fine
@@lifelonglearner7771 it’s basically when The ocd makes your penis tickle or become erect at some extent.
@@kevintopete9337 I'm so relieved
Been freaking out for almost 2 years now
Can you make a video specifically on TOCD? I just want to know what to do exactly even though I have been doing pretty well these days.
I am well aware the thought content doesn't really matter in terms of recovery but I just want to have a clear way to recover from this particular type of OCD
Dzidzgkorn I am also suffering from tocd do you want to talk to me about it
@@onone2883 If you I have got an idea how to recover from this sure, either way I am trying to divert my attention to something else anyway.
Dzidzgkorn I want to share my tocd story with you, please tell me your Instagram id, I want to talk to you there, I am very upset with tocd
Dzidzgkorn reply me please
I'm suffering from ocd last 11 years.. Last year I knew about my ocd.. Its very difficult to control my thought.. Nowdays I'm suffering from HOCD.. I want to overcome from it...
how r u now
Is it just me or when you do get over the thoughts and start to feel calm they come back saying oh these thoughts don’t bother you anymore you must’ve accepted taht your gay (I’m a straight male btw) these are making me so stressed out and tired idk what to do and I’ve been following the tips on how to recover
how r u now
I’ve had ocd for over 20 years. It has been a nightmare. Possibly schizoaffective now. I have homosexual friends, but also have severe hocd from assaults and other traumas in my past. It is hard if not down right impossible to find affordable help that doesn’t just want to put you in a 12 step program.
Storming Heaven im sorry 😕
Damn that’s sucks man. Yea I’ve had hocd for about 7 or 8 years and it’s sucks. I been actually getting better just by saying “so what if I’m gay, there just thoughts” if you say these things, they should help you.
Well don’t go to derapist you can beat it yourself or at least take away all the symptoms don’t rely on medication be strong and face your thoughts
i‘ve never been diagnosed with ocd, which is why idk if it‘s hocd or denial. My therapist is ill atm and i haven’t had the time to find a new one and idk what to do
I personally didn’t have ocd either, but I fed into it when I started having intrusive thoughts.
@@kevintopete9337 I know this was to the person who originally commented but same here
@@kevintopete9337 if u have hocd u also do have ocd , it just takes a lot of forms and subtypes to show itself
@@kevintopete9337 Same I've always had intrusive thoughts and I've never done physical compulsions , which was hard for me to believe I had OCD.
Now HOCD is just a subtype of pure OCD now you are obsessed with ur sexuality and later in life you might develop other themes and obsessions.
If u have HOCD u also have OCD.
@@kevintopete9337 HOCD is one of the themes of pure OCD so everyone with HOCD also has what is called 'Pure OCD'
Yo its long but whoever cares to read thank you.
So ive been going through what i think is HOCD (i match up with all the Symptoms). All my life ive looked at myself without a doubt being STRAIGHT, now i dont know if society has gotten into my mind at a young age and that ive programmed my mind subconsciously without eve knowing but i now damn well that i was so happy and always wanted a wife and kids one day. Im a 16 year old male and im worrying that puberty is showing me some hidden/secret self, Could this be the case??, The thing i dont get is why i get these wierd feelings without a lot of anxiety, like yesterday i intentionaly thought of a women in bed with me and i got happy and a warm feeling and ofcourse then i got the thought of a man, I didnt get that much anxiety from i but i worried and it sucks. I also dont know if im bi (i dont want people commenting "its ok to be bi" or "Being bi gives you two options" no no no no I DONT want 2 options i only want to be attracted to girls) No i know you can want stuff but you dont always get what you want and man does this scare me (wanting to be straight but im not). I dont know if im insanly deep in the closet or so scared to come out that i dont realize it or something like that. Its really sad because before i was so comefortable in my skin and didnt worry about JACKFUCKING SHIT of my sexuaality and knew i was straight, Now, not so much anymore. Ive fapped like crazy since i was 10 and maybe porn and fapping is then problem or maybe not, really hope it is. Ive lost the drive to be with women and what sucks is that i dont really care, and this destroys me. I feel kinda numb and its making me think im bi,
I dont know if ill ever go back to my self where i loved myself and didnt worry about this or that im bi and deep in the closet and dont know. I dont know if ive been subconsciously been bi my whole life wihtout a clue or if its all thsi shit is HOCD.
Thank you whoever reads this reallllllllly appreciate you.
Aaron Krom These last two day’s have been the worst it’s literally hell, I don’t really know what I like anymore and it’s so fucking devastating
I get you man. I recently just came out of a horrible six month bout with anxiety, and then this HOCD came. I haven't even gotten a chance to recover, and this thing comes up, so I'm not as reactive to this as I am to my other anxiety, and then my mind tells me that I'm gay because I'm not reacting to it as passionately. It's annoying. I've lost interest in fighting it because it's just been there for so long, and that scares me. I want to fight this, but I don't have the strength man. But, I feel like most people who are gay or bi like it, and just worry about coming out to peers and family. If we're so scared about being gay or bi, I don't think we are because we would like it. And most gay/bi people know when they're young. If you're like me, and you've had straight thoughts for your whole life, you're not bi or gay. It's just stupid OCD that feels so freaking real that it's hard to differentiate from the real world. If any of you reading this are religious, I'd appreciate a prayer.
Aaron Krom thank you, these past 2 days have been the worst days of my HOCD and life
Matthew Steinke Yeah man it’s been hell, these past 2 days I’ve been so so lost and don’t know anymore.😓😖
@@sleep7270 I think we'll get through it. I've had HOCD once before, and I got over it. It's just so real when it comes back that it makes your question your whole life. You and I are straight my friend. And no amount of OCD can change that. Our minds are telling us this, and our minds are in our bodies. And we control our bodies. So I believe that we can do it. Stay strong. It's a tough road to walk to get cured, but it's walkable.
Thank You so much Ali x
It baffles me as I will have the thoughts but when p go see my girlfriend and give her a hug I'm happy and I get the sensation of uno what plus when she cant see me or I cant hug her or kiss her I feel the pain in my chest that harmful feeling of pain. I love her to bits and I just hope these thoughts leave me alone.
Hyyy guys we are straight we know gay's can happy with there feeling and attraction and we know we have just thoughts and that thoughts killing us anyway don't fight with them you know u are not gay or bi anyway im struggleed a week with this and i just researched what is this and why did this happening and how gays feel there feeling every thing and maybe i think i know every thing about this and i find out i have hocd anyway im getting recover from this and you can too this is your anxiety makeing and your brain is tricking with you and we can recovery form this thoughts are thoughts have a nice day 😊
I always compare men to women and sometimes i feel like i like men more. Then i have to keep testing until i feel like i like women more. Is this an effect of the H-ocd?( im a male who has been attracted to women all his life until now)
That's hocd
Goodluck Isaack Thank you for your reply, if you are suffering from ocd I wish you goodluck
Sparkly Salma im sorry you’re going through this. Im not an ocd specialist so i cant really help you, but the best thing you could do is go to a therapist. You see the thoughts arent the problems its the feelings that come with them and i learned that you should not do anything about the feelings and it will make you feel terrible but in the long run its going to help.
Frans Mierenneuker stop doing it, its a compulsion. Yes it is hocd but i shouldnt even be reassuring you bc its only going to be worse in the long run. Dont react to the thoughts. You are not your thoughts. If you say youre straight them you ARE straight.
Please help me
Let me tell you a little story bud. Once a little boy was born and he had blonde hair , pretty face and was given beautiful name. What could go wrong one might say? His parents were troubled throughout their lives, but they raised him how they knew best. They weren't alcoholics or drug addicts , but the kid was a bit off. Would make impulsive decisions without thinking , wouldn't care about anything too much , unmotivated , but somewhat loving person. Unfortunately, kid felt physical and mental abuse, became distant and easily scared by people, felt into drugs and all that made him very antisocial person. After graduating high school he moves to England, London to start living his independant life so to speak. After couple years he gets hit on by a gay guy at his friends place. For him it was the worst day in his life and he wished he could go back in time and just smash his head into a wall until he is out of his misery. When he goes to sleep all kind of thoughts start bombarding his brains just one after the other and he wakes up different. He can feel that today is just different , the way he looks at people , the way people look at him. Like his whole life he keeps this to himself , after a bit his girlfriend leaves him. He is in such confusing state right now he starts thinking about suicide:-I couldn't choose how i was born , so i will choose how i am gonna die , there is no other way..
He stops going to work , jumps back into drug and alcohol abuse like never before and starts thinking of a way to do it fast and painless , but he is scared shitless. After few attempts he understands this won't be as easy , he even starts looking to buy a pistol as a last resort. He wastes all his money and he has nothing left. So he moves to Oxford to live with his brother's family , but he brought something with him...a dead man...he was a dead man walking. All he could think about is suicide and kept planning how to do it. In two years he tried to commit suicide around 15 times in various ways, i am not even talking about ones he didn't do. During this time he did a lot of researching about gay people , disorders and so on. He started believing all kind of things. Now he wasn't only convinced that he is gay , but serial killer and child molester too , even started getting inappropriate thoughts that he sexually attracted to some family members.. However , he never actually killed himself no matter how close it was. Eventually his brother found his journal of him planning to hang himself and they had a talk about it. For a bit it seemed fine , but his thoughts won him over again and he ended up in hospital because of poisoning. He comes back to his country and everything is so different to him , starts talking therapy because he thinks all this was just depression where it might have been suppressed feelings and emotions, because of all shit he had to go through. After a month of therapy they still have no clue what is wrong with him , so he stops going there and it seems he is in same boat again, but with more knowledge as if it helped. After sometime he finds something interesting on the internet called HOCD , he never heard of it before and researches all about it. His jaw drops and he bursts into tears...: I cannot believe i nearly took my life and inflicted life long pain to many people..
He realised that there was hope , after 2+ years of constant falling he is ready to rise again.
So listen i know there is a lot of shlt out there , a lot of things we might not understand , but giving up won't give you the option to come face to face with your nightmare. Keep fighting , future You will be glad you took my advice ;)
P.S.
boy's name was Valentinas.
This was meant for one comment , but i have this feeling in my gut that this might save a life.
Valentine Giedraitis this was very nice :) I wish you the best in your recovery, just know it is not the smoothest process and you will have times where you think “what if it’s all just denial or suppression” this is why I keep a journal of my journey, it helps me see the patterns and debunk my ocd myths. I always keep track of when I feel good around men again ( I’m a girl ) and when I feel normal, etc. it truly helps. Just keep pushing in recovery, you will eventually be who you once were.
Brooke Jett even with knowledge i have today , every day gives me something new from time to time , but i am not scared any more. I SAY BRING IT THE FUCK ON!!!!
I actually am triggered by this and coming out stories scare me
@Bhavik Chavda it triggers even my psychologist said it
@Bhavik Chavda wowwwww
When I watch doctor who I feel paniced that I have a crush on Matt Smith or David Tennant. Is this HOCD or In denial
It’s HOCD bro trust me I had for 6 months but in the begging I was able to beat it but short term and it returned so you can beat it butttttttt, as you said about the doctor it’s HOCD when I first had it, it was worse before I saw any guy and my HOCD would say I liked him I have a crush and I wanna do sexual acts, and I’m like the straightest person you would have ever saw and having HOCD scared tf outta me, I’m able to control it a little bit and now able to hangout with my guy freinds again but your not in denial if your born liking girls then that’s it and it’s always gonna be like that. If you have the groinal response it makes things harder witch I have but don’t worry it’s not denial.
@@kevintopete9337 this helped thanks bro
You're the best😘
Frankly speaking ,many of this things happens in my daily😐
Recording helps...but now the sensations tripped me up...and i want to overcome it...so I'm still recording...and I'm working at it
I'm bisexual and I have OCD. There is a big difference between fearing that you might be something (HOCD) and feeling joy and elation every time you think you might be gay or bisexual. I'm the latter. That's how to figure out what is REALLY going on. Judge by the feelings... generally, OCD manifests as fear or worry. Just so you know what it's REALLY like to be Bi or gay.
I'm 21 years men and I was always straight and I'm straight right now but in quarantine and because of overthinking suddenly men doing sexual thoughts comes to my mind,when I had gone for wandering with my friend.., it is been 4 months...M I straight or gay_?? Or bisexual
Please answer
@@pabitrafun1344 It all depends if you like your thoughts about men. It still doesn't mean you are bi or gay but it starts to give you a clue, something to think about.
@@pabitrafun1344 Finding yourself takes time. With enough happy experiences, namely attractions to people, you will know who you really are.
@@alexisvan222 I don't like these thoughts
@@pabitrafun1344 I would talk to a doctor or counselor then. Look up CBT and see if that helps.
I've always liked girls, I've always had crushes on girls, but then I saw a very disgusting image on the internet, and then that image came back to me, it never turned me on, but it always came to mind and it disgusted me. I avoided a lot of things, right now I started to avoid a lot of things, but when I forget about those thoughts of “what if I'm gay?” I quickly become how I was before, I think pornography has to do something with it, but I'm not sure. I quickly became homophobic, I wasn’t before I didn’t care about people being gay, but now I have a fear and I can’t look at my friends or anything. It’s really really bad, but when I see a beautiful girl I always forget about it. I don’t know what to do. I've been felt attracted to woman since forever, I didn’t know this was a thing I thought it was only me. I think I should stop watching pornography because it might be one of the reasons this is happening. I just want to feel the same way I felt about woman like I did before, sometimes I think about it logically and then the thing goes away, but it always comes back. What should I do?
Ali can u please make a video about lost of attraction Opposite sex. I lost all of IT in hocd. And still dont have IT back . IT scares me . Like i never had it
I suffer with lossed attraction, and then had hocd after. I’m really hoping it will come back.
@@almunumm9069 how did this happen , porn ?
@@sdb244 i have hocd because of porn. 5 days ago i was on a 2 weeks no masturbate streak then all of a sudden i have no interest on girls. i really panicked and i thought i was gay then i found out i was on a flatline phase of no masturbate. IF I KNEW ABOUT THE FLATLINE I WOULDN'T HAVE TO GET THROUGH THIS HELL! so my advice is just let it happen and pray to god that all of this will stop
I just thought I would drop another line here, after thinking about it. I have the opposite of HOCD. I'm fully bisexual/biromantic and constantly doubting it, despite huge evidence over my entire lifetime. Crushes, boyfriends, desire to kiss guys. And I still keep doubting. That's the power of OCD. It can really ruin your day!
@Jim Newt When I was younger I was terrified when my first sexual experience was gay and when I was hit on by gay people. When I worked on myself to just not care anymore, my true feelings were able to come out. The straight people I know don't really fret much if a gay person hits on them. They brush it off and not worry about it. If it really makes you want to vomit or do self harm, then I think there is some deep fear that somebody else put into you, or some other thing like OCD responsible. I'd check out therapy for that.
I was raised to fear homosexuals and I was terrified if they hit on me all the way into my mid-20s. But I noticed I was attracted visually to both men and women and I thought it was something else. Maybe it is something else. I just don't care anymore. It's all beautiful. But remember it took me 30 years to get to that point ....
@@alexisvan222 hi, I hope you've been well!
Can SO-OCD for bisexuals cause us to lose attraction to 1 gender, and not the other?
@@Nicole-yx8ms I don't know... my attractions do fluctuate but not because of OCD as far as I know
Can you do a video on relationship ocd next?
I have an ROCD (relationship ocd) video on my channel! 👍🏻👍🏻
Ok i’ll check it out!
bro you need to stop trying to prove to yourself you aren’t gay. That’s part of the problem. You want to say maybe it’s true and then move on with your day and not think about it too in depth
you’re not accepting that you’re gay. You’re accepting the fact that you had a thought that could mean you’re gay. Ocd works because your keep saying “oh no it’s true.” The only way to get over it is to say “whatever” or something similar when you have a thought and then not respond to the thought in depth
they’re called compulsions and I think you may have a lot of them based on how you’re talking
Now I’m scared of looking at rainbows eating sprinkles and I’m scared of putting my hair a way these things bother me I don’t want to be gay I even look at women still I still have in attraction to woman and I don’t want to be gay there’s just a thought in my mind saying say your gay you would be happy and it scares me I want to be straight I look down on the Community of gays I want to be straight heck I’m like a girl right now and am about to ask her out in a few days so good luck to me so I know I’m straight I like a lot of girls but I’m scard now because yesterday I had a gay nightmare and now i’m dramatize and I only ever liked girls anytime I look at a girl most of the time i think she’s hot and I’m a Christian to and my parents look down on it and I look down on it what triggered my hocd is my friend did something gay to me then I was at a sink for 10 hours no he forced me to I had no will I was asleep at a sleepover and when I heard I threw up I threw up I was at a sink washing myself off the death then the next day I got scard but I should not of been because I was looking at women and my attention to them has not changed I’m just scard of the what if I pray to god and this is something I never understood I have 2 ocds I have harm ocd and hocd when rarly my hocd goes away my harm ocd comes in there was only one day since I started having these ocds where I got both to go away I just want both of them to go away for ever and they were starting to till I had a nightmare not I’m scard I want to marry a girl I want to have kids with her I’m just scard of the weird images in my head I don’t want to do the only way I can get them to go away is I yell poof and punch my stomach and I’m scard of being gay I don’t like saying the word I get disgusted by it I don’t want to be gay I want to be straight and for some reason love songs triggers my hocd and now I’m scard and wondering is it hocd plz someone help I’m scard of saying it to anyone but I want to be straight I’m scard of not being it while I’m writing this I’m kinda of having. A panic attack I’m t trying to come down but it’s hard I want to be straight but I’m scard of not being straight so someone plz help and I know I’m still straight I still like women now that you read my story what do you say
Aye man don’t worry about the nightmares I had the same thing too but in the end everything was all right, and if your scared that’s the worst way to recover, just live your life like you use to sounds hard but it’ll be alright
I started doing erp but then i get thoughts like " I am not suppressing my gay thoughts these days may be I have accepted that I am gay, oh God! I am not Gay!" Please someone tell me this is normal 🙏🏼
I believe that’s normal when it comes to the whole erp processes
Omg! I havent started erp yet but I do this ALL THE TIME! It's like I'm able to ignore the thoughts for once and then it just makes everything worse. I've only been dealing with this for a month and a half and I'm already falling apart.
Alia Du same with me once I feel good myself and knowing I’m not gay instantly goes back to those thoughts again and it keeps going on and on I dont know what to think anymore
Aight so, when I was little I thought of myself having sexual feelings towards a dude. I did it on purpose for some odd reason, probably just out of curiosity. Then I just thought it was weird and wack, and why would I even do that. But then YEARS later I thought about the memory again. I was confused if it was actually just an early sign of homosexuality. I was always attracted to girls, but I always knew if a man was attractive or not because I grew up with 3 girls, and they would tell eachother if a boy was cute or not (not sure if that’s weird or not). Anyways I’d have these compulsions to focus on good looking girls, instead of men who are mainly attractive. But whenever I see an attractive dude, I feel like my stomach is twisting because I don’t know if I’m really attracted to them. I’ve had compulsions for about 4 years and I don’t know what to do. I’m almost certain I’m very much attracted to girls, but I’m just confused if it’s the same for guys as well. Please let me know if you guys think I’m bi or hocd. Or if you have anything to help me, considering it’s been about 4 years with this condition
I Would definetly say that if you have had conpulsions to watch Good looking women you have hocd. Btw the twisting thing in your stomac i have had that to.
And i Believe that that is connected with H-ocd cuz i am like 99% surr that i have H-ocd and have had it in some years
Anyone else here with HOCD get Groinal Response? Do you have any tips on dealing with it?
Ignore it. It is absolutely normal. And ignore it when it happens again. And third time too etc. Only through repetitive ignoring it will eventually go away. But BEWARE, when it happens, don't fall into fearsome thoughts like 'but I've been ignoring it a while already, isn't it meant to go by now?'. Don't chase the end result, focus on the present and just don't do anything about it every time for as long as it needs. It can be weeks or months. Not doing anything about it means going about your day further, not stopping and focusing on these thoughts and questions. E.g. you're at a gym's locker room changing after a workout; a guy (I assume you're a guy) is changing in front of you, you get anxiety, thoughts, sensations, erections - whatever. Ignore, keep on changing - because this is what you came here for. What helps also is Ali's suggestion to treat the thoughts/sensations as an annoying neighbour who shouts at you trying to provoke you to respond to him. Your attitude should be: 'Oh, that's you again, shouting. Ok, cool, keep on shouting, go on for as long as you want, I don't care.' Also, adding a pinch of humour always helps. So you've changed into your clothes, you leave the gym, and if the "annoying neighbour" attacks you on your way home trying to make you analyse what happened back at the gym - your reaction should be the same as earlier. For some time these thoughts and sensations will seem very real, and it will just require almost a blind belief in their fakeness from you. But if you will just keep responding to the "neighbour" in that manner day after day, making it a habbit, without trying to figure out when will it all finally end, at some point you will suddenly realise 'oh, I remember I was bothered by this thing, and I had these weird doubts and thoughts and sensations. How weird is that, that's no longer part of my life.' You won't be able to remember the exact day or week when this change occurred, and it won't matter either. At that point, it's very important to just move on and never look back. Good luck!
@@horadley2531
Thanks for your help. I appreciate it a lot!
I wan't to ask you something though; do you think there is a danger in repeating to yourself that it's just my "annoying neighbour"? . I think that get's into a similar realm of saying "it's just my OCD". I tried that and didn't see as much progress as I would have liked to. I think the trick is to treat the threat as if it's real. To say to yourself "I might be gay". Only then can our mind start to accept uncertainty and lower anxiety over time. Uncertainty is at the core of any OCD, regardless of the theme.
You're absolutely right about not reacting to intrusive thoughts. I think everyone agrees that if intrusive thoughts come into your head, the best thing to do is to not react to them. This eventually takes away their power overtime and become less stressful and anxiety inducing. What I'm currently doing is treating the threat of whether or not I'm gay as if it's real and allowing myself to feel that OCD anxiety (ERP). It's only after I did that, did my mind fully start embracing uncertainty. It's helped me a lot.
What are your thoughts on that? What OCD did you go through and what methods did you use? I'm really interested to know, because one size doesn't fit all and many people did get better with Ali's method.
I'm a male by the way. You were right about that.
@@chinmay6249 I'll answer your questions in a bit of a structured manner and will lay out a few practical take-it-or-leave-it advice tips afterwards.
1. I had severe HOCD, obsessions about anything that causes slight anxiety (such as hypochondria), OCD about leaving the gas on when I leave home, compulsive picking on nails and fingers, etc. This eventually led to insomnia and depression. I have sufficiently recovered since then and, using Ali's terms, I am currently around the 4th (final) stage of recovery, where I don't get anxiety, thoughts almost never pop up in my head and I have been liberated from the doubts and gained self-confidence. I still occasionally deal with the urges to check whether I have "really" recovered. Good thing I know the right way to deal with the urges.
2. I have tried many methods including hypnotherapy, before I've found Ali's channel. Ali's way of handling it has proven to be the most effective.
3. The quote about the "annoying neighbour" wasn't meant as an actual line you are supposed to say in your head. It was just the way that I described the attitude you should develop. To reiterate, at the time when you are triggered or thoughts or sensations occur, you have to be conscious of the fact that you're about to get washed over with an aggresive wave of anxiety and very distressing feelings, and you need to accept being washed over with these feelings and anxiety, and just experience these all the way through without doing anything to stop it.
4. You know yourself better from within, and if agreeing with the message that the OCD sends you works for you - I as a random stranger on the internet cannot say if this is right or wrong. You say you get less anxiety this way - that means it works for you. In my case, since I am quite a visual thinker, what helped me was externalising my OCD, by imagining it as a sort of a separate entity, like a demon, who follows me and tries to confuse me and scare me. This helped me in being conscious of the fact that these thoughts and sensations are not me, but they're something separate that affects me. This is why the metaphor about the annoying neighbour made sense to me. Our minds are all similar, yet very individual at the same time.
A few practical advice tips taken from my experience with OCD and especially HOCD. This is in addition to your ERP work:
1. Quit watching pornography if you have such an issue. Completely and for good. If it's tough, do it with the help of a therapist.
2. Go to bed and wake up at the same time every day, including weekends, allowing yourself 8hrs of sleep every night.
3. Introduce regular physical exercises, every day if possible. It is especially good if you do it in a company of one other or a group of people, and also if it's outside your house - a gym or outdoors.
4. Make sure that you spend some time outside every day.
5. Stop searching for answers online. At some point, maybe even now, you have to stop watching Ali's videos, write comments, check forums, or anything OCD-related. Your response above points at the fact that you are already very well-informed on how to deal with your OCD. Asking for more answers/trying to clarify things will keep you away from your recovery.
6. One thing that helped me A LOT personally was quitting social media (reddit, facebook, twitter and instagram). It was a game changer in many ways. Social media feeds of human weaknesses and compulsions.
7. Socialise and try to focus on REAL (as opposed to digital) life as much as you can. The more your attention will be focused on other people, the better.
8. Make sure you are occupied during the day. If needed, write yourself schedules or to-do lists for every day, so that at the time of rumination or an urge to check stuff online you can refer to the list and switch to a relevant activity that you planned for today.
9. Develop a playful and humorous way around it. It is crucial to just keep it cool, peaceful, no panic, no feeling of guilt or blaming yourself for anything.
I hope this helps. I don't know if you are a man of faith, but I will pray for you and I wish you a speedy recovery!
I have recovered from hocd anyone feel free to ask me any questions regarding hocd 👍
@Jim Newt therapy and time. 👍
How can u do it
@@vananh3591how r u now
Who is 14?? :(
Me , this HOCD made me do terrible things . I hate it . I’m looking for answers
@@mamawaaweegie6377 same bro I dont even know if its hocd how did you find out?
It really hurts my heart that I am thinking of these stuff
Me,:(
@@johncarvacho2861 hang in there bro
What if i dont have anxiety, and intruisive thoughts? I cant stop thinking about whether i am gay or not, and i have also lost my attraction towards women. Can this still be OCD?
Yup !
@ZKS l oh im better now, you just gotta realise tha gays r just confused and if u fight it, it wil go
drop did you recover please tell me I need help!!
@@mel5282 yes
drop okay but how did you recover?
It really sucks you’re always “checking”
As I have learned about hocd, I came to realize that for most people the o side of hocd is more of importance than the c side. But what if you feel c to visit gay bars and clubs, is that still hocd or something different?
the problem for me in hocd is that when these thoughts started happening, I started thinking I found every man (im a boy) attractive and good-looking when I didn't before. I also started thinking I have crushes on loads of my mates and random people I see when before these thoughts I used to have loads of crushes on girls and always been attracted to them. How can I stop thinking this because I need help?
Bro we the same. I always been straight and chasing only women. Every time I see an attractive dude sometimes I get anxiety like I cant breath sometimes my face turns red but im thankful for the masks it covers my face. I can truly say I never gotten an erection from a guy or would ever flirt. I even tried watching gay porn but it was a major turn off. It all started when I was working and I saw some dude smile and I kinda smiled back just to be polite. I had a gay vibe from him and the entire week I would constantly think about it and it would hurt my head because I thought I just turned gay then weeks later I notice guys more and I hate it.
The truth is we arent in denial we didnt turn gay people dont just turn gay. We just need to not ignore the thoughts or run away but face them saying "oh there it is, its nothing to do with me and its not personal, and there it goes its away". Practice and we will live to tell this(if you want) as a struggle because the mind is truly powerful. I learned it can be your greatest enemy if its not tamed
@@endangeredmexican9644 bro ive tried also to avoid the thoughts it has worked for me to recover but than the thoughts came back in more bad way because i thought the hocd was gone and i started to watch porn which was a bad mistake. I will also do what you said to face them but in what way? I have done a straight test and i was 97% straight which i was really really happy but the thoughts are still in my mind i tried to avoid them but the thoughts are still on my fucking mind.
@@DG-mw8bjhow r u now
HOCD is becoming common and i think i have it and its causing me erectile dysfunction
So if you see a naked man you dont avoid it???!?!!!!
yes just kind of,ignore it
Hey can you please post a video on how to do ERP therapy in case of HOCD?
Just like other erps you can do this
I'm 21 years old men..I was always straight but I had sexual thoughts about my sisters and ocd too and I have also overthinking...but in quarantine I suddenly felt like I'm doing sex with men...from that time I went through depression and now it seems like HOCD... someone please answer me that m I gay or bisexual or gay_????
Although I'm still not doing sex with men and don't want at all 😭
How are you bro
@@saranshpandey1132do u suffer from HOCD?
Ever since I was born I’ve had attraction towards women and only thought of women sexually/romantically. I’ve had HOCD for 11 months and it’s been absolutely hellllllllllllllll.It’s now making me think I’m bi
Reasons why:
- I don’t have anymore anxiety or attraction to women (not often)
- is not scared of the thought or distressed of them like I used to when I first got HOCD
- Everyone says they get shameful or guilty but I don’t feel like that
- I’m 16 so it’s making me think “i don’t know myself” or that I’m changing with puberty
Never listen to your heart, you have to remember your origin and never let go of the real you, practice saying " I love women and I will fall in love with my girlfriend" tons of times and attach an emotion to it so that you can rewire your brain
Take a look at this
ruclips.net/video/4_UlzOeF3Qg/видео.html
I have this problem too I loved women ever since and I have multiple crushes and I'm still thinking about this girl I like and idk why ever since I watch porn this has happened to me
I literally am feeling the same way you are...istg
@@ghostghost1664 ok I will repeat the sentenceces
Anybody else get visual snow as a result of an anxiety attack from ocd I've had it for a long time
I know this is pretty late but I have had visual snow since childhood and suffer from ocd as well. I think it might be related.
Hi Ali, I wanted to ask a question or maybe I could get some advice? I struggle with hocd, but lately I have 0 anxiety and I still have many intrusive thoughts. Really I have many, I still obsess, analyze and look for reassurance because although it still worries me, I have no anxiety. The thoughts also feel very real like this must be true. I guess I want to know if this is normal? Or if it’s part of a recovery process? I do not do ERP, because I’m over the anxiety. Yet I still obsess and I worry about my sexuality and about what xyz mean. I see that thoughts only feel real because of anxiety but I don’t have anxiety anymore and they still feel real? I hope you read this, and maybe give me some advice or insight. Thank you so much!
Kim This is the recovery .Its still hocd!!I have the Same thing
I'm in the same boat and then anxiety came back and I actually wanted to kill myself. But, today has been a good day and hopefully this will go away
Im in the same situation. I also have a loss of attracion and it sucks so much. Sometimes i wish i had panic attacks, cos it would be a proof that it's hocd.
Miki same :( we’re so use to it that’s why
Priscilla hey have you recovered? Can we talk somehow like over email or something I need help and advice
Where can I come in contact with you?
I have recovered from hocd feel free to ask me any questions 👍
Hi how long did it take for the thoughts to go
@@lochy0475 a few months
did you had homosexual dreams? and felt aroused? what does it mean do i want those dreams to be true? I am so terrified I don't know if I'm accepting to be gay Or if I force myself maybe I'll like to be one I am so terrified please help
@@iwantpeace4707 all hocd, remember ocd can make you feel everything even when it’s fake
@@-ce-0715 thanks for the reply
How did you recover?
What did you do? Did you recover on your own?
This suffer me a lot 🙁
I have this but I also have bad visual snow and tinnitus any help
I am looking for treatment in NYC from a therapist I have Aetna insurance please help
Hocd is common because of pornography. Pornography is evil
Maybe I just got it because of curiosity but I’m fine now
I’m sure porn complicates it, but I don’t think it’s the causal factor.
Please do a video on pocd
can Hocd people realise they are Gay does Or Hocd mean we are not Gay. I have been diagnosed with ocd by 5 therapists but I then see people saying Hocd people can realise they are Gay I am so confused
No if you have hocd then your Not gay. If someone realizes that they are gay then that means they were in denial. Hocd and denial are two different things.
What’s the different between Hocd and denial then because don’t a lot of people with Hocd think they are in denial. My ocd therapists has aid this on his article so does this mean people can be gay from the first sentence t is not at all true that having HOCD indicates you’re not gay. To be clear, it also doesn’t indicate you are gay! Having HOCD doesn’t tell you anything about your sexual orientation whatsoever. All it tells you is that you have OCD about your sexual orientation, which you already knew.
drmichaeljgreenberg.com/articles/marks-gay-and-thats-it-a-response-to-mark-ameen-johnsons-article-about-hocd/
Blade118 Ok. Hocd is wen a straight person has a fear of being gay, denial is wen a gay person who knows deep down he’s gay but has the fear of coming out as gay. That’s the difference.
I have be diagnosed with ocd by like 5 therapists but my thoughts are so graphic 24/7 I feel like I know I am gay and just in denial I feel I know I am don’t want to be. My life has changed over the last 12 months massively to a point where I started kissing walls, bending over, role playing, etc imagining kissing every bloke I see , family, friends
Blade118 damn. Yea I know how you feel. I did a lot of that stuff too wen I was young. I’ve had hocd for about 6 years. It sucks. Remember it’s not real but the fact that you don’t want to be gay shows that’s it is hocd. That’s how I figured out cause if you were really gay then you would want to be gay. Its does get better tho.
I am so confused as my therapist said people with Hocd can realise they are Gay and just because you have HOCD doesn’t mean you’re not. I am so confused as my therapist says it’s just Ocd and I am not a gay but I feel strongly that I am. My ex partner has said this is just OCD can someone with Hocd realise they are Gay as I feel I know I am so can this just be denial as thought this meant I wasn’t. Have a been lied to for years or misled about what ocd means
So whoever liked does that mean it can be true then
@@lister11811 no no bro
Ali can u pls make a video of lost of attraction Opposite sex in hocd.
how r u now
I had lost my libo, did checking and reassurance for 2 weeks but I only have the urges I’m trying abstain from porn ( day 2) just make sure this isn’t the addiction I didn’t have a problem with using anything but gay porn or anything(still don’t) I get groinal responses and urges and I’m afraid that I won’t get my attraction to females back because the constant habit of questioning I just don’t know anymore if I’m recovering
Why you watch gay porn
@@Eezkiel my bad I meant using any porn except for gay porn. I don’t watch gay porn(still don’t)
@@Drunkenmist132 same dude resist the temptation I am 14 about to turn 15 this is so bad
@@Eezkielhow r u now
Someone pls help I’m a male and I’ve been attracted to girls all my life I lost sleep over them. One day I said what if I like a boy and it all started it’s been months and it’s been getting worse before it was what if and know I see pics in my head and get weirdly aroused I also feel like I might be attracted to guys but I don’t know if it is me or my mind playing tricks on me
Its common
@@kevintopete9337 how you beat it
@@Drunkenmist132 I didn’t I thought I did that was like 3 months ago
@@kevintopete9337 🤕
@@Drunkenmist132 but it’s gotten better
hi can someone with hocd realise they are gay as the more i go through this the more i feel and know i am. i have been diagnose with ocd and told i am not gay but i feel i know i am
If it doesn't cause you to much anxiety and realize MD that you were attracted to the same sex just a bit that means you may have been in denial, but if it's always in your head and causes so much anxiety and panic that makes you feel sick then it's hocd.
That's what I realized as Im recovering
@@fareehamustapha9556 it does cause me aniexty so much and have been with a girl for over 10 years but this is what i think of constantly was it jus denial. my therpaist says i have severe ocd with the things i do so does this mean i am not gay
@@fareehamustapha9556 is doesnt make me sick either, when i think about doing these things i can see myself doing it and feel i want so can someone witth hocd realise they are gay then
@@lister11811how r u now
Defense
What a strange video.
People struggling with accepting their sexual orientation don't have OCD. They have painful and consuming cognitive dissonance.
Of course their minds are burdened with never-ending thoughts and questions about who they are and how they want the world to know them. They're dealing with a battle to continue living a lie, where the status quo will go on as expected, except the life ahead is desperately lonely since no one actually loves them for the persons they are.
Or the mind is balancing living their authentic lives, which is liberating and honest but comes with costs like being shunned by family and friends and perhaps church fellowship. And they resent this outcome because it's irrational and unfair and shines their loved ones in an unflattering, small-minded, judgmental light.
Forget "HOCD." Read up on cognitive dissonance and the tricks we play with our minds to make the pain go away, sometimes to our own detriment.
Shut up idiot
The thing is u people forget that people with hocd get better 😊
Read up on HOCD before you assume :) it is quite prevalent in the ocd community and majority of the time people with hocd are very accepting of people in the LGBT community. There’s a reason therapists treat this and also why there’s success stories of hocd recovery. It does exist, and to tell people they don’t have ocd when they clearly do, is damaging and can cause people to possibly commit suicide. Be mindful of what you say. Bc this is not the place for that.
@@broojie8191 well said
drop thank you, I remember seeing comments like this at the beginning of my recovery and thinking they must be true, but truly for anyone struggling with ocd, the only people you should trust with info regarding your theme is 1. Other sufferers of that theme . 2. People who treat that theme. Or 3. Just people who are simply educated on the theme. It saved me a lot of mental pain from listening to people who had no idea what they’re talking ab.
I have this for 4 years! It all started when a gay tried to groom me! In the beginning i vommited with the thoughts and the fear and anxiety made it feel like OCD now i dont even have fear or anxiety and it makes it much more scary! In the beginning of this i watched only lesbian porn so to not get triggered cause if i was watching straight porn my hocd told me things (if i make my self clear) in general everytime i watch porn i feel like sit cause hocd turns everything to gay even though i watch only straight or girl on girl porn. On top of all this i was stalked by a chomo and this really fkd me up as i didnt had enough of the first incident that starded the OCD. I feel with so many chomos outhere, so much propaganda and brain washing a lot of straight guys are going to suffer from this..especially those that wanna be real alpha men in the traditional sense! Maybe HOCD is the consience way of taking revenge on you for not releasing your masculine urges! I wanted to destroy both the first chomo that tried to groom me and also the second chomo that stalked me but i cant cause i have a family and i dont want to do jail for life i think HOCD is the way my manhood is taking revenge on me!