Beauty/beautiful is a three-pronged composite of a person: 1. Personality 2. Physicality 3. Presence A kind, intelligent, loving, caring, knowledgeable mind meets a well-groomed person who knows how to carry herself with grace, poise, and elegance. People have always said to me, "You carry yourself so well." and I never understood that until lately lol. You can be confident and sexy. It's not a bra size, it's a persona.
This was really good and I totally agree. Femininity is an attractive asset, not demeaning to women. If we want a masculine man, expect him to want a feminine woman. Makes sense. Thanks for explaining it in such a respectful way.
+SexyConfidence.com .. I am not saying I disagree but if someone is not like and just attract the guy she behave like you said and lets say the relationship started and she slowly turns back to the real person she is not so feminist the relationship the end eventually.. then what's the use of it.. don't take it in offensive way but it kind of act to be some who ur not..
So very true! I really love and attracted to a manly-man! I don't know many women who aren't. I'm sure the opposite goes for men. This video is not supposed to be demeaning to women. Being feminine is not demeaning.
@@DeliciaTrini Yes, it is. It can be. I don't want a manly man. If you mean a really manly man, hell no. That reminds me of Gaston. I am like belle, too much friction. That's a hell no. I need a guy who is more feminine, a man who yes asks me out and talks to me, but must be able to connect with me.
I feel like people in the comments are misunderstanding. Nobody says you cant be confident an independant, you can! Maybe you'll attract a less alpha male, but if thats not problem, great. This video is definitely for those who WANT to attract alpha males. I think we really need to embrace our feminine sides. There's nothing wrong with seeming softer and graceful, it has its own strengths.
roseberry lava this is why u cant even here a good joke these day cuz ppl get to offended haaaaaa. i get exactly wat he was saying. there r different types of guys n he was jus talking bout one particular type which is a dominant masculine man. they do tend to lik a softer more feminine women n plus u can b soft n dominant too. hahaha
Women do need to balance their masculine and feminine side. We lead men by example. If a woman *allows* a man to lead, she is still leading. Remember the movie, My Big Fat Greek Wedding? "The man may be the head, but the woman is the neck that turns the head". haha!
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I have no idea why my boyfriend likes me then, I am not super feminine, I am not all dainty, or have a quiet voice. I am loud, I swear, I have a dirty mind, and I speak up about things, and have fairly strong opinions. Nope, still no idea why he loves me, and we've been together for over four years. Also, not every woman wants a 'Ugg, me man, hear me roar' type. Some actually want a sweet, genuine guy, not a raging asshole. And the Beta male thing is bull. Just because some guys are 'big' or 'strong', that does not mean they are any less of a man, them men, who are those things. Saying that just perpetuates the stereotype that men should be a certain way, otherwise they are 'Betas'.
+MsAquamonkey You sound like you have a bold "dont give a fuck" attitude, in other words you sound confident and comfortable in your skin. Confidence is really attractive!
I'm so glad to hear you praise femininity. Women are too subconsciously and consciously made to be ashamed of being girly. There is NOTHING wrong with being a lady. I LOVE being a girl; I also love being able to vote and have a great career and an education, own property, etc. These ideals are not mutually exclusive. I adore brutish, manly men. Me being an awesome woman only means I need an equally awesome man. My man is a badass at work and at home. It's nice to kick ass all day then come home to someone protecting me. I'm sweet to him; he protects and provides. And I'll be alone before I'm ever with some wimpy dude. I won't waste my time or energy on some helpless guy. No boy allowed here - only a chest-beating, slaying MAN for me.
Sexy Confidence Hehe, thanks. I love everything else about your videos - even recommended your channel to a relationship-wise confused friend of mine recently. Thank you for replying!
What a bullshit. My girl is higher than me and doesn't have that "feminine" signs. But I still love her, cause she's beautiful for me even if the others maybe don't think so.
Nice video, Adam; love that you were raised by a feminist mother. My mother was also a feminist who loved it if a man opened the door for her or kissed her hand. It was only after she passed away that I began dubbing her the "Feminine Feminist." The two are not incompatible. Thank you for a great video!! ♥️
Oh dear. I've tried to be feminine but it's not me. I was a tom boy growing up and actully prefer feminine men to masculine men. Does the opposites attract, also include boyish girls attracting feminine men? I know that sounds like a weird question. Sorry.
+sakuramari This video is bullshit. He is trying to put all people into neat little categories how all men and women are "supposed" to be. However that doesn't work in the real world.. There are so many different types of people and all people like different types of women and men. I also find the stereotypical macho men unattractive and find more gentle "feminine" men very sexy. No one should try and act a way they are not (goes for both women and men) just cause some stupid video with just one dude's opinion. Sure some other men and women have that opinion too but not all, cause you know not all men (or women) are cloned and have the same personality and preference. LOL
im the same way, im a dom female and i like fem men. my biggest problem is that i give off the wrong vibes to women who might be interested in me. ( i hounestly cannot see myself with a women, its just not what im into)
+Nora Neko That is true. Some masculine girls are sexually attracted to gay looking feminine and emotional guys with soft silky necks rather than rough skin necks and very hairy bodies looking too manly. I like only the pretty boys.
If you don't let make the first move when they become obnoxious and become too conceited by their ways. Also, would think they got you and don't need to make the effort.
Like on a mating call? I would spread my colourful wings and show off my big puffy feathered chest to show off I a high on sperm counting and have access to resources to feed the offspring. Then the females will approach and I as the alpha male will select the mate, and If another male approaches I will fight him on a battle and the winner will get to spread his DNA to the next generation. Is that what you meant by man calling women?
Powerful, dominant, alpha male? I find men who are TOO masculine to be unattractive. For me, those words mean "difficult" man, even scary. Everyone needs balance. We come from both sexes. A macho guy is icky. They rarely have the grace and beauty - yes, beauty - themselves to be appealing. Women want a man who's a friend, first and foremost. Women and men must have both softness AND aggression - when needed at appropriate moments. Women want a man who will "take" them - when they want him, not before that. A man must wait for a woman's "signal" that it's OK to move forward. Men want an aggressive woman at moments, as well. (One very macho guy I know said he adores a woman who "strides through life," in other words, a woman he can be proud of because she's sexy AND smart.) Both passion and repose are sexy. Romance is a dance. Think of that old dance the minuet. It was one of the sexiest dances of all time because it brought partners close, then apart. It teased, it played. Playfulness and charm, passion, aggression, cool, hot, friendly, combative: all of these components must exist in both partners in good relationships. I know. I have had it and it's divine. Can we please meet on those grounds of mutual excitement and warmth? That's what makes people "attractive," far more long-lasting and compelling than "beauty," which has the ring of a stagnant quality. And those terms of "femininity" and "masculinity" are so over. Sometimes I'm my strong, sexy Dad. Sometimes I'm my more beguilingly pretty, like my mother. So which is it? It's ME - totally, uniquely myself, not definitively one or the other of someone else - or others' expectations. Oh, and by the way, I've been "married" since I was five.
I Read everything and I completely understand where you come from and actually agree with you on this? Please tell me you being married since 5 was a joke of sarcasm, I swear I heard sarcasm in it.
But what if you don't want a macho or dominating guy? I can't stand guys like that. That's why I love my boyfriend, he is sensitive, caring, loving, supportive, kind, romantic, smart, sweet....
I love being a woman who takes interest in her beauty (which includes grace, elegance and softness)You made excellent points and Im glad that I watched it and it will help be more mindful of the things that I do so that I can get things that I want!!
Wowwww!!! My boyfriend told me the exact same thing!!!! He likes me because I strive for more and I'm tough at work to get ahead, but when Im with him, I am very feminine. Wow Adam, you are awesome giving dating advices!!! Thanks!!!
As girlish and petite as I look, I embody a lot of male characteristics: like to take charge and be in control/leadership role, eat raw meat and lots of other food, love science, watch classic mafia movies, drink whiskey straight, make wildly inappropriate jokes, sarcasm, profanity - the whole nine. Men seem to go crazy over that. They don't care for that timid little cookie-cutter act. It gets boring soon enough. As long as you're hot and pose an intriguing challenge, men will forever spend their days trying to "tame" you. Ladies, be as manlike as you want to, as long as you don't look butch. Skip the salad and order a real meal, just make sure to stay in shape.
+Marcella Ganzorig LoL...*))) Are you Italian or do you have Italian roots? I have a lot of Italian friends - male and female - and I find 'La Donna' is often quite masculine in her femininity.
I don't think that's what he meant in the video though, your missing the bigger picture.... It's about qualities such as Loving, caring, gentle, warm, etc. not what you order or make jokes about.
It's been over a decade since I dated anyone; and now I'm dating a man I've known as a great friend - and we're getting in and getting to know each other better now. Your advice has been invaluable to me... thank you so much. So far, it's been 3 weeks and I haven't said or done anything wrong because of your videos. :D
The feminine presence is *BY FAR THE MOST IMPORTANT PART OMG!* When a women do not know how to be feminine I feel she's less a women and more a man and the last thing I want to be in a relationship is with another man! Now when allowing a man to feel masculine the key word is *Let* Let him be let him do. That's not saying let him do you but let him do what he needs to do to feel like a man. For some reason that's difficult to explain a women being venerable is such a huge turn on for me and It is for allot of men. When a man see's a beautiful women in distress is going to want to fix that and make her smile if he can. Most genuine men want to make a women happen especially when she's down. A women just being a women is such a beautiful thing without price! Because finding that women you want is so damn hard because there's such confusion out there in this world and so many lairs out there telling women how to be and they are learning from the wrong people. WOMEN are often cough in traps because they don't know better but the same go for men. I wish there was something in the education system that teach people how to build healthy relationships as a requirement. But the education system don't care about shit that truly matters it just cares about how you can put money into corporations pockets and not invest into yourself the right way it's all messed up.
+Oddy Chanz Most men don't want "vulnerable" women, they want confident women who can stand for what they believe in and can take care of themselves. In a relationship there's no alpha and beta, there should be equality between both counterparts. Both sides should respect each other equally and not need to downgrade or upgrade themselves over one other to be "turned on". All relationships are different and every living thing is different, so there shouldn't be any categories of what "guys find attractive" or what "girls find attractive". Everyone has different opinions on what they personally find attractive.
+Oddy Chanz LOL there it goes, a man telling women what they love in women, and here comes the women telling them they're wrong. I bet these women are single and wonder why they can't keep a man lol. The media has women acting like men and telling men to accept their masculinity!
Loving this!! Your message is loaded with insight! It's time to *celebrate* our differences. To bring back that magical gender polarity and magnetism! 💓 Opposites attract/Like repels. "Vive la difference"!! (Long live the difference between men & women) Great vid! Keep them coming!
totally agree! allowing the man to lead a date talks a lot abut how empowered that woman is, how trusting on herself is that if there is something in the date she doesnt like she can set boundaries to be safe.
I appreciate your time in creating this video, and I appreciate your insights. You may want to consider fixing the spelling of "femininity" at the beginning of the video.
Thanks for this great video Adam. I get where you're coming from. I think we sometimes forget how everything is "relative". The key is to look for a "balance", the yin to the yang. We are complex multi-dimensional individuals and feminine to some, may not be feminine to others. Just like beauty is in the eye of the beholder. I thank you for reminding me to tap into my femininity more often , with this video. I acknowledge it is a beautiful thing but I often forget about that essential part of who I am. Indeed, I shall strive to remember to be the best version of myself and remember to "charm and disarm" now and again ;) Cheers xx
what the?! I have never met a guy who said he likes stupid women and he clarity didn't say it. he just say that one good thing we could is be more laid back when dating and be powerful when working,
+Sexy Confidence Well, then you clearly failed because Bethany is right, and your video is truly disgusting. Not only towards women but to men as well. Beta males, what the fuck is this. If I have the choice, I'm gonna go for a co-called "beta male" anytime instead of an "alpha male" who is, according to you, a dominant, wanna-be leader douchebag who wants to be in control of everything and needs his woman to pretend she is delicate, quiet and feminine and not too dominant in order to "complement" him (aka being selfish and self-centered), boost his ego and truly "love" her. Wow. Literally welcome to the 18th century lmao.
+Bethany Mclean He's trying to say that women need to use their feminine side to attract a man, not that strong opinions, smart, etc are a turn off. A domineering - not *dominant* - woman would turn off an alpha. I have to say I'm not crazy though about the simple separation of males into alpha and beta. People can be complex and not fall neatly in one category.
Hey! what if we had to meet a strange guy which i have only texted never meet and he lives so far apart and when i went there and he says me to meet in a resturant....what should i do in that case.
Thank you so much for saying this! I am a strong woman who enjoys holding my own (my job requires it), but maintaining feminity is so important! It's a tough balancing work.
Most women try so hard to prove they are one of the guys and don't like pink, dresses, or any girly thing. I don't want to fit in with that attitude. I will stick to being me. Besides I couldn't not be feminine if I tried. I am 5'2 with big boobs, small waist, and a big butt shaped like a upside down heart. I have a very naturally soft voice. I love feminine clothes, jewelry, and more. I prefer very masculine take charge men. I won't be a push over but I will likely follow his lead. Just yesterday somebody pointed out how feminine I was and complimented me for it. It was surprisingly another woman.
boys only like beautiful girls and that's not fair we girls like them for being you self here's a note girls be your self some boys like girls because there being them self I like a boy called Dilan he's in my class I try being my self but I can't so just try don't hold it in just let it out girls from now on just try once if you don't like it like I don't just don't do it again.
Hi Adam.That's what I have been telling my friends about being feminine, however they all disagree with me. But I am the one who gets the attention from men, also I was told how kind, sweet I am by man. They love my attention and touching. Man needs soft caress from a woman.Love your videos.Josie
Kindness sweet, being polite, respectful, men feminine, independent, confidence, sexy body language, and an sexy is in attract attitude. Men should chase and take lead. Be yourself.
Very important key points Adam. Not always easy to grasp. I feel like for an Alpha male we picture a big, loud, rude, and arrogant jerk. In fact an Alpha male to me is actually about a guy displaying maturity, integrity and, PRESENCE. A guy who knows who he is and what he wants, takes no bs from anyone while remaining courteous and dignified. Thanks for this vid Adam :)
You are so right. At work, I HAVE TO be masculine - taking decisions, have things done, giving orders, barely smiling... But when I am with this so masculine MAN, I simply melt... he (unconsciously) gently "releases" my femininity. I feel so comfortable being feminine when he's with me. It feels so good when he takes care of me, when he advises me, when he's worried when I'm tired, ill, tense... I do my best to make him feel loved too.
I have always been a dominant female, career oriented, very yang. I had to learn to embrace my femininity and quieter self and be on my own for a long time. I attracted men who were pretty boys, overemotional, dependent, needing a mom and a therapist. My feminine self is not submissive - its just that she has learned to let a strong man be just that. Strong. Its not a duality - it doesn't mean I am weak. It doesn't mean I am dainty - it just means that I like being girly now. And different men show up - men who are polite, gentlemanly and respectful. Not patriarchal and bone headed. But equals. I think everyone attracts who they attract and there is nothing wrong with being masculine or feminine... But the point here is there is a polarity to relationships and you will likely attract your opposite. I used to like beta men and pretty boys because I was trying to not get too attached. I never wanted to truly be in love because it was too scary. I guess I just grew out of that. After the last pretty boy almost destroyed my life, I realized I wanted something different. I am still strong but am more comfortable my feminine sexiness now - I don't pounce and I don't go after them. Honestly its nice to conserve the energy getting older - being alluring instead of conquering. Raw feminine energy is very powerful
Very eloquently spoken. I agree with all of it! Unfortunately I also believe most ladies have to find this out the hard way, through personal experience, for it to have any lasting impact. Still, the sharing of this knowledge is bound to ease the transition for others when it does happen. And hopefully it does--it's always painful to see a woman or man who never fully develops emotionally and remains 'trapped' in a cycle of unhealthy relationships.
Your speech is so entertaining and witty. I agree with everything but how do we handle the pay for the drinks and meal thing? Some guys insist on paying for everything. Others like to share the bill. What can a woman do in these cases?
Dominance is part of every human relationship we form throughout our entire lives. Whether or not you choose to take note of the subtle power plays happening, usually on a very base, biological level, they still occur. Plus, what about sexuality?! Dominance is a very frequent word used when discussing sexual preferences, and it has nothing to do with gender.
I am recently divorced and clueless on this new dating scene. I have had many bad experiences with meetings lately and not sure what I am doing wrong. I want that man to want me to take care of him but having difficulty with it. Any pointers
Once again your on point...I agree with you, we should let a man feel like a MAN. The Bible states that the man (a GOOD man) is the head of his home. I personally don't have any issues with that.
Awesome video, that's how women and men are made - to need each other. Men have to lead and women have to allow it wihtout losing control or power :). Really loved it!
+Sexy Confidence I too enjoy your channel. I understand the message you're trying to convey but I think your message gets lost because of your binary approach. You describe masculinity as dominance and femininity as submission. However both of these attributes are not genetic predispositions but instead we have been socialized to label them as masculine and feminine. Women in leadership positions often have to be a little more dominant in their professions. They are often described as "bitches" while men's dominant personalities in the workplace are applauded. I'm a very independent woman in a leadership position that pays well. Many would say that I am dominant, yet very feminine. I am very nurturing (which sadly is considered submissive/and feminine, when I think it just means you're loving), l love make up, jewelry, heels, dresses, etc. I treat my staff with support and encouragement, but I do not shy away from firmly holding them accountable when needed. Dominance and submission to me is circumstantial and subjective. At work, in my friendships, and when dating, I am dominant and I am submissive depending on the situation and who I am interacting with. I expect my partner to do the same.
Magic! That's how it goes. Once you laid eyes on a person you are connected with, you will not noticed his masculinity or femininity. Act naturally. You don't need to pretend to be somebody whom you are not just to please somebody. Let that person like you just the way you are.
I think this was your best advice yet! It really spoke to me and I will now work on balancing! Now I get why I keep attracting Beta males and what I can do about it. Thank you!!
I've recently gone out with guys that seem to be intimidated by my femininity. I follow ALL the advice, but it seems like these guys have no clue. They seem to be super into me and attracted to me and I am really into them. But they can't, or won't, do much to try and impress me or win me over. Then they seem put off when I express that I like to actually go out and be taken on a fun date. I tell them that I just want to have a fun time and get to know them. No pressure. Why would they ask me out and suggest going to a restaurant and then change their mind? Then they're shocked when I say, maybe we're looking for different things. I know what I'm looking for, but these guys seem like they don't have a clue. They swear they aren't players and they really want a relationship. They'll even bring up marriage and meeting their family. But then why won't they take charge and allow me to be the woman? It almost seems like these low self esteem guys expect women to do all the work. That's not me. My friends seem to think that when we talk online they make plans and seem romantic, but the second they meet me they think they don't have a chance because I may be out of their league. Guy friends I have tell me the same thing, that they are so attracted to me that they are intimidated. I call bs on that. What the heck do I do???
+joyful gabby Be grateful these guys aren't following through so you can have room for the right guy when he finds you. You're not doing anything wrong. be patient. Meanwhile, Break down any walls that you have built up.
Becuase men want women to lead them. That's reality nowadays. Cmon. Take a chance and be in charge. Men never know what to do or where to go. Just lead them, they will,be thankful. Men are lost in this world, without a woman, when he finds her, he wants to rely on her, because know that women are the crucial and the only stable person in their lives.
Your so right guys like it when we females tell them what to do it gets annoying but they don't see it so guys are usually idiots and need a female perspective on things. Of guys I dated yes they don't know what to do if I didn't tell them. Where or when or how. OMG they are idiots that's why Adam ate the forbidden fruit cause he listened to of course the female. So it all started from the beginning. Sorry guys but you come from females. So you are kinda strong but need to know how to treat a female.
So iv'e been seeing this guy for about 4-5 months. I started to want a committed relationship and he said he doesn't like being pressured. does this mean he just wants to keep his door open?
This is kinda funny to me, not just because you're completely wrong, but because in my personal experience the perfect, girlish, cookie-cutter good girl act gets boring after a while. I'm sarcastic, upfront, immature, a tad bit obnoxious, opinionated and definitely hard to get along with - yet, I've had no trouble finding men that are interested in me. On the outside, I LOOK like a very feminine, girlish girl with the feminine clothes, long hair and make-up - but, when I dress down with no make-up, hair in bun in a t-shirt and jeans, every single guy I've ever gone out with goes crazy. So, you see, femininity isn't everything all the time. Interior femininity isn't as important as you're stressing, neither is exterior femininity. I don't like macho alpha males. They're fun for a little while, but, just as basic perfect, no substance girls do, they get boring after a while. Genuine, kind, funny, entertaining men are the best. Ones you can go on adventures with, share things with and the ones that keep you on your toes. It's ridiculous to say otherwise. Looks only last for so long. Life only lasts for so long. So, I'll continue to be an unorthodox sarcastic, immature person because that's who I am, and I don't need to change myself into a girly girl to get a guy for a night.
well looks like im single for life i am a tomboy asf i am LOUD i laugh very loud and half the time i snort and i got a dirty mind ! i turn everything negitive and i speam up about everything i have strong opinion about everything single life
Is this forreal! Okay I'm all about women being women. Let men hold the door and have basic gentlemen skills. But this whole being super feminine thing is a bit overdone dude. It sounds like he wants women to be babies and just spend their life boosting mens ego. Men don't want some passive boring girl. My HUSBAND and I are a TEAM! I do not spend my life making sure he feels masculine he can do that on his own. Why can't the lesson be "be yourself"? I agree that it isn't about looks but it isn't about pretending to be something you're not either. Guess what? When he finally ties the knot and figures out who you REALLY are, he may not like that side of you. So this is some seriously stupid advice.
+Haley Clesh "Let men hold the door and have basic gentlemen skills." LMAO It's 2016! Wake up princess! You have a nice pair of hands you can do that to yourself. Men are not your slaves.
+Alexander Delarge Yesss!!! Someone finally says it! I couldn't care less about the chair and door shit. I think that's terribly oldfashioned. That's not what makes a gentleman these days.
Thanks for the help! It’s sometimes hard to let guys lead when they don’t lead fast enough. Any tips to know how to open dialog about wants and expectations?
First reason already right away I disagree with. So a girl had to be soft and feminine and it's up to the man to be a big strong man?? lololol. I call bullshit. How dare you give women this advice!! I attract very alpha men... lawyers, CEOs, etc and they **LOVE** that I'm a strong woman with goals that speaks her mind. They absolutely hate the girly girl (that you've pretty well described women should be) who radiates this aura of someone who needs saving. They don't want desperate, weak minded, and needy people, AND neither do I. Summary?... Your advice is bullshit. Ladies: Just be you. If you have to change into what these morons in the video claim is a perfect woman and that's not who you are, then this guy isn't **YOUR** Mr. Right.
I think further elaboration on what is masculine or what is feminine is necessary. I like men who have a nurturing quality...I am not sure if now days this is a masculine or feminine trait. I had a discussion with a male aquaintance who thought men should be the physically stronger one in the relationship because a male's instinct is to be a protector. I have many years in the past loved going to the gym and lifting weights and was always proud of my physical strength. At one time because of the work I was doing (outside of gym) I had massive arms with lots of muscles. I felt great, (likely less attractive to men though.) I crinkled my face up when my aquaintance was talking about how men should be stronger, and then he says "fine, if you want to be the protector in the relationship then you will find someone who likes that...I myself do not find muscular weomen attractive". I felt like he was missing the point, because just because I am strong in a lot of different ways, and even physically (which I have had men comment before that I am the most fit woman they have ever dated etc...) doesn't mean I do not want a stronger guy to protect me. I think it is hard to not be who you are, and to just say...ok...I will be more feminine...you can wear make up or whatever, but you are always who you are. I think men and weomen should be equal...I know I am less physically strong than many men...but I want to challenge myself to be stronger in all ways...and part of this is practicality, so that I can do stuff I enjoy (rock climb etc.) Anyways...sorry to write all of this. Just maybe it is better to be exactly who you are because the right date will find you attractive the way you are. What would be the point of trying to be softer or something when in a few dates the real you comes out anyways?? So there are alpha males and beta males?? What about alpha females and beta females? One last comment-I don't think I am super alpha female, but my more recent experience was finding out that although I get along well with beta males as partners, the last thing any woman wants is a man who is a beta style in the bedroom. Just sayin!
This whole video is so not right. His definition of feminity is so vague. He spoke like either an 80 year old conservative lady, or a white chauvinistic man! Well, the second profile seems to match him better!!! All the ladies watching this video, especially the younger ones, please do not believe him. All you need to do is learn to love and value yourself, appreciate your qualities, and be a nice person. You will end up with the right person in due time. If you try to change yourself to hook a man and act "feminine" like the crap this guy is promoting, you will end up not loving yourself, and that can be really damaging in the long run for yourself as well as a relationship!
OMG this is so freaking stupid. the only way to be loved is find someone who lives as exactly as we are! you can nit act too long. one date, two, a week or a month but what later? do you want him to love YOU or someone who you act to be? apmost no one is 100% masculine or feminine it's always some kind of mixture. and everyone loves sth else so just be yourself, god damn it!
Probably one of the best or better comments here. Be yourself. Don't put on an act. Be real. If a woman puts on the BS thinking she is going to attract me she is wasting her time. Meeting a compatible person is such a ridiculously difficult thing, it only makes more difficult if your trying to put on an act that you can only sustain for a brief period of time. Sooner or later your true self is going to show through and if it isn't anywhere near your "act" he is going to walk. You are basically lying to try to trap a guy. ALWAYS think, "What is this was being done to me???"
You know what I secretly always wonder? Do these people who give love advice have a great love life themselves? I know it really doesn't matter all that much and it's absolutely none of my business, but I still wonder :P
Does he have vids on how to strike up convos with guys? Convos topics? I notice a guy at his job + we are still strangers & for me it's not the same as striking up convo at a cafe
Hey, Jennifer - thanks for watching and stay tuned! I just filmed a video on how to keep a conversation going with a guy. Make sure you subscribe so you're notified when it gets posted! :)
Ok, thanks Adam. I am inexplicably drawn to this guy and that rarely happens for me. I have one conversation starter because I accidentally ran into one of his co-workers the other day and it was kind of funny, but after mentioning that I don't know how to bring the conversation to him. I mean I could say how's your new year going. Thats my best guess. Then even after that, if I run into him at his job in the future, I'm looking for other conversation ideas. It seems like he works out so I may ask if he works out & does he do bicep curls & work on lats etc I used to work out - & maybe get into are u a morning work out person, evening or weekends. But beside these two conversations, afterward I'm looking for a few other ideas to continue conversation in future contact. I don't want to seem like I'm hitting on him hard, just open up communication bc I think we are both shy & have been silently oogling one another. Truth is, I don't even know if he has a girlfriend & will certainly Not ask, but hope to keep communication open so that I may give him my email in the future if he ever wants to keep in touch (I may be moving a year down the line). I just want him to get comfortable talking with me & eventually get to the point where if I give him my email or, I could ask for his (if there is something I want advice on (asking a dude for his help per your advice). I just want to keep conversation so that when it gets to that point it won't be weird I gave him or ask for his email : ) I of course wonder later if he has a girlfriend but, my strategy is to have familiarity so when can hit each other up later on if his situation changes & have had that repertoire / history of some convo. Your suggestions really help!
It's a nice idea but it's a bit out of date. Masculine men literally disgust me. If I could find a woman in a man's body (a man's feminine yet male body, to be clear) who wanted to marry me, I'd hop on up to that white horse and ride away.
There's a lot of men who are not overtly aggressive, yet you are not likely to find them at the club, pumping weights or fixing their hot rods. In the modern western world you have very masculine men, nerdy men, zen men, slightly feminine men and very feminine men. Slightly feminine men tend to be secluded and not open about it. They might see a dress a woman is wearing and think, "The pattern of that dress matches her heels, that is a perfect combination". Though, if he tells that to his guy friends that is basically social suicide and they are worried that telling that to a girl in question would label them gay or a creep. And don't be so quick to dismiss the manly man. As a,straight guy I imagine I would love a girl that liked all the things I do, but history shows that opposites tend to attract because they spice up each other's lives. Do you really want to spend the day hanging out with your girl friends only to come home to a guy who is basically another girl friend but with facial hair? That will get old in a second.
We do not need guys to define femininity. Or anybody else. And who is he to speak for all men? There are lots of idiots out there, like him (who find defenders like you), but there are also good guys who let women be themselves without trying to manipulate them.
+Makemyday2006 The majority of men like feminine women because they themselves are aggressive. Some men are more layed back and prefer a more aggressive woman because they find feminine women too boring/weak/needy/useless or whatever. Or because they actually get them to do stuff since otherwise they would be lazy. It's just a proportional thing. Find your significant other.
Ok. But what if the guy isnt very masculine, like what if he is more feminine, then would he go for a slightly more masculine female, because I'm not very feminine, I generally dress like a man, I like baggy shirts and stuff, and alot of the time I get mistaken for a lesbian, but I'm not, maybe that has somthing to with the fact that I definitely go for more feminine males, but would they tend to go for sombody like me? Or will they still go for the more feminine females??
I'm feminine but have been on my own for a long time. I can take care of myself in every respect and am very strong and intelligent. Do I have to dumb down then?
+Aisha Osman That's because most guys want feminine girls because of evolution. That's just statistics. Yet, there is a noticeable market for more aggressive women amongst feminine men. Yeah, it's not typical but it's there.
He was a little oversimplifying things. But, I know strong women who attract weak men and then grow to hate them because they do not respect them. I married a strong man, I am a feminine woman, but strong down deep. I started and ran my own business , all the while raising four kids. My husband and I had some loud arguments sometimes, but we have the deepest respect for each other and are more in love than we were 35 years ago. If there is respect and attraction, a man and a woman can work together and have a wonderful life together, allowing each one to be themselves and not fit into a perfect little compartment. P.S. Don't hold onto thoughtless things said in the moment, let it go and get back to having fun with each other. We both were good forgivers.
oh I love the video!! I feel more confident and gained more knowledge on what guys think which I would never know!!☺️ I just love the way you are and would love to have a guy like u in my life!!😇
Interesting points; as a Feminine Presence teacher, I think that it is even more pleasant, powerful and effective if women keep up their feminine prensence at work also!
+Nicole Blanchard The same way women act like they know what men want and will tell them what to want and how to want it right? Women will tell men that they should like masculine women. They will shame men for not liking fat/obese women. I see why many men marry non-American women b/c too many of you are masculine in attitude and shame men for having preferences, but will have no problems telling their preferences to men. For example, women can shame men for not liking fat/obese chicks, but women will have no problems telling short men they don't date short men. The difference between fat women and short men is that one of them can change their appearance; the other can't.
A Matt It goes both ways and I don't think that it's a specific type of nationality that women or men are that defines them of having a "masculine attitude". That's an opinion, certainly not a fact. Not all women know what men want, that's moreover why we watch these videos to get insight from a male figure himself. I certainly don't go around shouting out what men want but I do take in consideration what men say that they like and get an idea or perspective of what they desire. For instance, I have read many articles and have talked to many guy friends about what they find attractive in women and a recurring trait is confidence. I don't say that all guys want that but from the sampling I have personally talked to, have agreed to that. Every women and every man are different with different opinions and outlooks but I think it's wrong to say that "all women think this" or "all men say this" because in reality you don't know what EVERYBODY thinks, you only truly know what you think.
Nicole Blanchard - I get what you're saying, but he has to speak in generalities, he simply cannot interview ALL men and women in the world. He's giving us generalities. Most men want a feminine woman. You can be strong, CONFIDENT, independent and still feminine. Like for example, you can be independent, pay your own bills, do this and this, be smart, intelligent and intellectual and still be feminine. What's wrong with being feminine? let's say you're trying to open a jar of mayonnaise, your man is in the other room, yeah you can open it, but why not just ask your man to do it? Yeah you can put that book shelf together yourself, but why not let your man do it (esp if he offers)?
+A Matt Hello Matt, so I have pondered your opinions! I don't agree with your mayonnaise scenario! So if I'm perfectly capable of opening my own mayonnaise container but there is another man in the house, I should get up and let him open it for me even though I have already opened it in the room I was in. That truly makes no sense and undermines the women's ability. A women should be able to be self sufficient and not have to rely on a man!
Nicole Blanchard So then what exactly do you want from a man? It seems like you're perfectly okay without a man because you can do everything by and for yourself!
Beauty/beautiful is a three-pronged composite of a person:
1. Personality
2. Physicality
3. Presence
A kind, intelligent, loving, caring, knowledgeable mind meets a well-groomed person who knows how to carry herself with grace, poise, and elegance. People have always said to me, "You carry yourself so well." and I never understood that until lately lol. You can be confident and sexy. It's not a bra size, it's a persona.
much better definition.
You should be doing this video topic.
What does it mean "You carry yourself so well?"
2/3 = same? Or presence meaning confidence?
And thank goodness it's Not Bra size I'd be screwed 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂..
This was really good and I totally agree. Femininity is an attractive asset, not demeaning to women. If we want a masculine man, expect him to want a feminine woman. Makes sense. Thanks for explaining it in such a respectful way.
Andrea Chapman you're very welcome :)
+SexyConfidence.com ..
I am not saying I disagree but if someone is not like and just attract the guy she behave like you said and lets say the relationship started and she slowly turns back to the real person she is not so feminist the relationship the end eventually.. then what's the use of it.. don't take it in offensive way but it kind of act to be some who ur not..
So very true! I really love and attracted to a manly-man! I don't know many women who aren't. I'm sure the opposite goes for men. This video is not supposed to be demeaning to women. Being feminine is not demeaning.
Andrea Chapman
Definitely agree! I love a masculine man.
@@DeliciaTrini Yes, it is. It can be. I don't want a manly man. If you mean a really manly man, hell no. That reminds me of Gaston. I am like belle, too much friction. That's a hell no. I need a guy who is more feminine, a man who yes asks me out and talks to me, but must be able to connect with me.
I feel like people in the comments are misunderstanding. Nobody says you cant be confident an independant, you can! Maybe you'll attract a less alpha male, but if thats not problem, great. This video is definitely for those who WANT to attract alpha males. I think we really need to embrace our feminine sides. There's nothing wrong with seeming softer and graceful, it has its own strengths.
Thanks for sharing roseberry lava!
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roseberry lava ppl just get offended to much
roseberry lava this is why u cant even here a good joke these day cuz ppl get to offended haaaaaa. i get exactly wat he was saying. there r different types of guys n he was jus talking bout one particular type which is a dominant masculine man. they do tend to lik a softer more feminine women n plus u can b soft n dominant too. hahaha
Women do need to balance their masculine and feminine side. We lead men by example. If a woman *allows* a man to lead, she is still leading. Remember the movie, My Big Fat Greek Wedding? "The man may be the head, but the woman is the neck that turns the head". haha!
Awesome movie.
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I have no idea why my boyfriend likes me then, I am not super feminine, I am not all dainty, or have a quiet voice. I am loud, I swear, I have a dirty mind, and I speak up about things, and have fairly strong opinions.
Nope, still no idea why he loves me, and we've been together for over four years.
Also, not every woman wants a 'Ugg, me man, hear me roar' type. Some actually want a sweet, genuine guy, not a raging asshole.
And the Beta male thing is bull. Just because some guys are 'big' or 'strong', that does not mean they are any less of a man, them men, who are those things. Saying that just perpetuates the stereotype that men should be a certain way, otherwise they are 'Betas'.
+MsAquamonkey may be because you are quite honest and straight forward with no fakeness and a good heart...
+MsAquamonkey You sound like you have a bold "dont give a fuck" attitude, in other words you sound confident and comfortable in your skin. Confidence is really attractive!
+MsAquamonkey I also do feel like this...
Completely agree.
+MsAquamonkey Yet your YT account screams "feminine"! :D Maybe you just don't realize it.
I'm so glad to hear you praise femininity. Women are too subconsciously and consciously made to be ashamed of being girly. There is NOTHING wrong with being a lady. I LOVE being a girl; I also love being able to vote and have a great career and an education, own property, etc. These ideals are not mutually exclusive. I adore brutish, manly men. Me being an awesome woman only means I need an equally awesome man. My man is a badass at work and at home. It's nice to kick ass all day then come home to someone protecting me. I'm sweet to him; he protects and provides. And I'll be alone before I'm ever with some wimpy dude. I won't waste my time or energy on some helpless guy. No boy allowed here - only a chest-beating, slaying MAN for me.
Please PLEASE make the intro jingle QUIETER. Please! I'm shouting because I've gone partially deaf. Another option - make the rest louder. Easy!
Liusila Sorry! Duly noted!
Sexy Confidence
Hehe, thanks. I love everything else about your videos - even recommended your channel to a relationship-wise confused friend of mine recently.
Thank you for replying!
+Sexy Confidence thank you! lol :)
+Liusila I agree with you.
lol!!
What a bullshit. My girl is higher than me and doesn't have that "feminine" signs. But I still love her, cause she's beautiful for me even if the others maybe don't think so.
I bet she is happy with you.
#relationshipgoals
💕💕💕
Thats so sweet.
Wtf did you just say? Lol
Nice video, Adam; love that you were raised by a feminist mother. My mother was also a feminist who loved it if a man opened the door for her or kissed her hand. It was only after she passed away that I began dubbing her the "Feminine Feminist." The two are not incompatible.
Thank you for a great video!! ♥️
Oh dear. I've tried to be feminine but it's not me. I was a tom boy growing up and actully prefer feminine men to masculine men. Does the opposites attract, also include boyish girls attracting feminine men? I know that sounds like a weird question. Sorry.
+sakuramari This video is bullshit. He is trying to put all people into neat little categories how all men and women are "supposed" to be. However that doesn't work in the real world.. There are so many different types of people and all people like different types of women and men. I also find the stereotypical macho men unattractive and find more gentle "feminine" men very sexy. No one should try and act a way they are not (goes for both women and men) just cause some stupid video with just one dude's opinion. Sure some other men and women have that opinion too but not all, cause you know not all men (or women) are cloned and have the same personality and preference. LOL
im the same way, im a dom female and i like fem men. my biggest problem is that i give off the wrong vibes to women who might be interested in me. ( i hounestly cannot see myself with a women, its just not what im into)
+Nora Neko That is true. Some masculine girls are sexually attracted to gay looking feminine and emotional guys with soft silky necks rather than rough skin necks and very hairy bodies looking too manly. I like only the pretty boys.
+romanfairy same as me. I'm not into women but I like soft skin pretty boys.
i feel exactly the same way ( im so glad im not the only one XD )
i think a man should call the woman first for a date. I am old fashioned the man should call the woman
If you don't let make the first move when they become obnoxious and become too conceited by their ways. Also, would think they got you and don't need to make the effort.
Like on a mating call? I would spread my colourful wings and show off my big puffy feathered chest to show off I a high on sperm counting and have access to resources to feed the offspring. Then the females will approach and I as the alpha male will select the mate, and If another male approaches I will fight him on a battle and the winner will get to spread his DNA to the next generation.
Is that what you meant by man calling women?
I agree
I mean I agree with Susan Hyland, I think a guy should make the first date
yes but how would he know that the invitation is welcomed.
Powerful, dominant, alpha male? I find men who are TOO masculine to be unattractive. For me, those words mean "difficult" man, even scary. Everyone needs balance. We come from both sexes. A macho guy is icky. They rarely have the grace and beauty - yes, beauty - themselves to be appealing. Women want a man who's a friend, first and foremost. Women and men must have both softness AND aggression - when needed at appropriate moments. Women want a man who will "take" them - when they want him, not before that. A man must wait for a woman's "signal" that it's OK to move forward. Men want an aggressive woman at moments, as well. (One very macho guy I know said he adores a woman who "strides through life," in other words, a woman he can be proud of because she's sexy AND smart.) Both passion and repose are sexy. Romance is a dance. Think of that old dance the minuet. It was one of the sexiest dances of all time because it brought partners close, then apart. It teased, it played. Playfulness and charm, passion, aggression, cool, hot, friendly, combative: all of these components must exist in both partners in good relationships. I know. I have had it and it's divine. Can we please meet on those grounds of mutual excitement and warmth? That's what makes people "attractive," far more long-lasting and compelling than "beauty," which has the ring of a stagnant quality. And those terms of "femininity" and "masculinity" are so over. Sometimes I'm my strong, sexy Dad. Sometimes I'm my more beguilingly pretty, like my mother. So which is it? It's ME - totally, uniquely myself, not definitively one or the other of someone else - or others' expectations. Oh, and by the way, I've been "married" since I was five.
I Read everything and I completely understand where you come from and actually agree with you on this? Please tell me you being married since 5 was a joke of sarcasm, I swear I heard sarcasm in it.
I'm a feminist and I couldn't agree more with everything you said :)
But what if you don't want a macho or dominating guy? I can't stand guys like that. That's why I love my boyfriend, he is sensitive, caring, loving, supportive, kind, romantic, smart, sweet....
Sounds like you've found a keeper! Congrats!
@Madison Daily Smart girl
"Bad female role models" - my favourite part because it's the truest part.
I love being a woman who takes interest in her beauty (which includes grace, elegance and softness)You made excellent points and Im glad that I watched it and it will help be more mindful of the things that I do so that I can get things that I want!!
You are amazing! Your ideas are sooo different from mainstream and they are soo true and refreshing! Keep making amazing videos!!!
I've subscribed and clicked on many self helps... your info is by far the most worth it. Thank you.
I am wondering which men you have actually consulted preparing for this video…
Wowwww!!! My boyfriend told me the exact same thing!!!! He likes me because I strive for more and I'm tough at work to get ahead, but when Im with him, I am very feminine. Wow Adam, you are awesome giving dating advices!!! Thanks!!!
As girlish and petite as I look, I embody a lot of male characteristics: like to take charge and be in control/leadership role, eat raw meat and lots of other food, love science, watch classic mafia movies, drink whiskey straight, make wildly inappropriate jokes, sarcasm, profanity - the whole nine. Men seem to go crazy over that. They don't care for that timid little cookie-cutter act. It gets boring soon enough. As long as you're hot and pose an intriguing challenge, men will forever spend their days trying to "tame" you. Ladies, be as manlike as you want to, as long as you don't look butch. Skip the salad and order a real meal, just make sure to stay in shape.
couldn't agree more!
+Marcella Ganzorig LoL...*))) Are you Italian or do you have Italian roots? I have a lot of Italian friends - male and female - and I find 'La Donna' is often quite masculine in her femininity.
*****
Who cares what turns you on or off....?
ps: this is a rhetoric question.
You eat raw meat? Sicko
I don't think that's what he meant in the video though, your missing the bigger picture.... It's about qualities such as Loving, caring, gentle, warm, etc. not what you order or make jokes about.
It's been over a decade since I dated anyone; and now I'm dating a man I've known as a great friend - and we're getting in and getting to know each other better now. Your advice has been invaluable to me... thank you so much. So far, it's been 3 weeks and I haven't said or done anything wrong because of your videos. :D
The feminine presence is *BY FAR THE MOST IMPORTANT PART OMG!* When a women do not know how to be feminine I feel she's less a women and more a man and the last thing I want to be in a relationship is with another man!
Now when allowing a man to feel masculine the key word is *Let* Let him be let him do.
That's not saying let him do you but let him do what he needs to do to feel like a man.
For some reason that's difficult to explain a women being venerable is such a huge turn on for me and It is for allot of men.
When a man see's a beautiful women in distress is going to want to fix that and make her smile if he can.
Most genuine men want to make a women happen especially when she's down. A women just being a women is such a beautiful thing without price! Because finding that women you want is so damn hard because there's such confusion out there in this world and so many lairs out there telling women how to be and they are learning from the wrong people. WOMEN are often cough in traps because they don't know better but the same go for men. I wish there was something in the education system that teach people how to build healthy relationships as a requirement. But the education system don't care about shit that truly matters it just cares about how you can put money into corporations pockets and not invest into yourself the right way it's all messed up.
Oh shut up
SatansGirl Problem with something I said ?
+Oddy Chanz Most men don't want "vulnerable" women, they want confident women who can stand for what they believe in and can take care of themselves. In a relationship there's no alpha and beta, there should be equality between both counterparts. Both sides should respect each other equally and not need to downgrade or upgrade themselves over one other to be "turned on". All relationships are different and every living thing is different, so there shouldn't be any categories of what "guys find attractive" or what "girls find attractive". Everyone has different opinions on what they personally find attractive.
+Oddy Chanz LOL there it goes, a man telling women what they love in women, and here comes the women telling them they're wrong. I bet these women are single and wonder why they can't keep a man lol. The media has women acting like men and telling men to accept their masculinity!
A Matt How are women "acting" like men?
That wig you always use makes me laugh like hell 😂😂!! keep it up man your videos are so unique.
Loving this!! Your message is loaded with insight! It's time to *celebrate* our differences. To bring back that magical gender polarity and magnetism! 💓 Opposites attract/Like repels. "Vive la difference"!! (Long live the difference between men & women)
Great vid! Keep them coming!
totally agree! allowing the man to lead a date talks a lot abut how empowered that woman is, how trusting on herself is that if there is something in the date she doesnt like she can set boundaries to be safe.
I appreciate your time in creating this video, and I appreciate your insights. You may want to consider fixing the spelling of "femininity" at the beginning of the video.
Thanks for this great video Adam. I get where you're coming from. I think we sometimes forget how everything is "relative". The key is to look for a "balance", the yin to the yang. We are complex multi-dimensional individuals and feminine to some, may not be feminine to others. Just like beauty is in the eye of the beholder. I thank you for reminding me to tap into my femininity more often , with this video. I acknowledge it is a beautiful thing but I often forget about that essential part of who I am. Indeed, I shall strive to remember to be the best version of myself and remember to "charm and disarm" now and again ;) Cheers xx
This video is literally saying that if you have strong opinions or are smarter/more successful than a man than you are not beautiful. disgusting.
+Bethany Mclean I think you need to watch the video again. In no way shape or form was that my message.
what the?!
I have never met a guy who said he likes stupid women and he clarity didn't say it.
he just say that one good thing we could is be more laid back when dating and be powerful when working,
+Sexy Confidence you're so sexy
+Sexy Confidence Well, then you clearly failed because Bethany is right, and your video is truly disgusting. Not only towards women but to men as well. Beta males, what the fuck is this. If I have the choice, I'm gonna go for a co-called "beta male" anytime instead of an "alpha male" who is, according to you, a dominant, wanna-be leader douchebag who wants to be in control of everything and needs his woman to pretend she is delicate, quiet and feminine and not too dominant in order to "complement" him (aka being selfish and self-centered), boost his ego and truly "love" her. Wow. Literally welcome to the 18th century lmao.
+Bethany Mclean
He's trying to say that women need to use their feminine side to attract a man, not that strong opinions, smart, etc are a turn off. A domineering - not *dominant* - woman would turn off an alpha.
I have to say I'm not crazy though about the simple separation of males into alpha and beta. People can be complex and not fall neatly in one category.
Hey! what if we had to meet a strange guy which i have only texted never meet and he lives so far apart and when i went there and he says me to meet in a resturant....what should i do in that case.
it would help us all understand your message in this video if you had given us your definition of feminine or femininity.
Thank you so much for saying this! I am a strong woman who enjoys holding my own (my job requires it), but maintaining feminity is so important! It's a tough balancing work.
Most women try so hard to prove they are one of the guys and don't like pink, dresses, or any girly thing. I don't want to fit in with that attitude. I will stick to being me. Besides I couldn't not be feminine if I tried. I am 5'2 with big boobs, small waist, and a big butt shaped like a upside down heart. I have a very naturally soft voice. I love feminine clothes, jewelry, and more. I prefer very masculine take charge men. I won't be a push over but I will likely follow his lead. Just yesterday somebody pointed out how feminine I was and complimented me for it. It was surprisingly another woman.
You go girly girl..thingy
boys only like beautiful girls and that's not fair we girls like them for being you self here's a note girls be your self some boys like girls because there being them self I like a boy called Dilan he's in my class I try being my self but I can't so just try don't hold it in just let it out girls from now on just try once if you don't like it like I don't just don't do it again.
it's funny how a boy react when he likes a gril
You did not even say much, this was really stupid... for sure...
Becky Norris my own personal goals, I love being girly too!!
Hi Adam.That's what I have been telling my friends about being feminine, however they all disagree with me. But I am the one who gets the attention from men, also I was told how kind, sweet I am by man. They love my attention and touching. Man needs soft caress from a woman.Love your videos.Josie
Thanks, a good reminder. Love your videos! Doesn't hurt that you're so easy on the eyes either.
Kindness sweet, being polite, respectful, men feminine, independent, confidence, sexy body language, and an sexy is in attract attitude.
Men should chase and take lead. Be yourself.
@3:29 had me all the way dead 💀 🤣😂 great advice and funny at the same time. This man has great content 💜✨
Very important key points Adam. Not always easy to grasp. I feel like for an Alpha male we picture a big, loud, rude, and arrogant jerk. In fact an Alpha male to me is actually about a guy displaying maturity, integrity and, PRESENCE. A guy who knows who he is and what he wants, takes no bs from anyone while remaining courteous and dignified. Thanks for this vid Adam :)
Great points! You're welcome and thanks for watching!
You are so right. At work, I HAVE TO be masculine - taking decisions, have things done, giving orders, barely smiling... But when I am with this so masculine MAN, I simply melt... he (unconsciously) gently "releases" my femininity. I feel so comfortable being feminine when he's with me. It feels so good when he takes care of me, when he advises me, when he's worried when I'm tired, ill, tense... I do my best to make him feel loved too.
This topic is very important for women to learn about, keep up the good work!
Loved this video, you have a new subscriber :)
I have always been a dominant female, career oriented, very yang. I had to learn to embrace my femininity and quieter self and be on my own for a long time. I attracted men who were pretty boys, overemotional, dependent, needing a mom and a therapist.
My feminine self is not submissive - its just that she has learned to let a strong man be just that. Strong. Its not a duality - it doesn't mean I am weak. It doesn't mean I am dainty - it just means that I like being girly now. And different men show up - men who are polite, gentlemanly and respectful. Not patriarchal and bone headed. But equals.
I think everyone attracts who they attract and there is nothing wrong with being masculine or feminine... But the point here is there is a polarity to relationships and you will likely attract your opposite. I used to like beta men and pretty boys because I was trying to not get too attached. I never wanted to truly be in love because it was too scary. I guess I just grew out of that. After the last pretty boy almost destroyed my life, I realized I wanted something different. I am still strong but am more comfortable my feminine sexiness now - I don't pounce and I don't go after them. Honestly its nice to conserve the energy getting older - being alluring instead of conquering. Raw feminine energy is very powerful
And Adam, I have to tell you that you look just like Peter Brady.
Very eloquently spoken. I agree with all of it! Unfortunately I also believe most ladies have to find this out the hard way, through personal experience, for it to have any lasting impact. Still, the sharing of this knowledge is bound to ease the transition for others when it does happen. And hopefully it does--it's always painful to see a woman or man who never fully develops emotionally and remains 'trapped' in a cycle of unhealthy relationships.
You're date pretty boys because you're too scared to want anything better for yourself? It sounds like you got self-esteem issues.
Your speech is so entertaining and witty. I agree with everything but how do we handle the pay for the drinks and meal thing? Some guys insist on paying for everything. Others like to share the bill. What can a woman do in these cases?
Body language truly is essential
love ur videos ..doing great job ..u helped me a lot
😃😃😃😃😃😃😃😃😃
"I think it's empathy, admiration, responsibility and common sense.'😶👓☺👂👀💭; What you think?'
Thank you. i just woke up to this concept. I had to be a masculine leader in my job and I have lost touch of my feminine side
The word "dominant" shouldn't be anyone's vocabulary when discussing romantic relationships. Tuned out as soon as I heard the word spoken.
It's always a bad thing.
***** yeah. Obedient, weak women don't and men with low self esteem
Dominance is part of every human relationship we form throughout our entire lives. Whether or not you choose to take note of the subtle power plays happening, usually on a very base, biological level, they still occur.
Plus, what about sexuality?! Dominance is a very frequent word used when discussing sexual preferences, and it has nothing to do with gender.
Agreed, I see a relationship more as teamwork and there should be a balance in both roles.
I like dominant, decisive men. It's romantic.
I am recently divorced and clueless on this new dating scene. I have had many bad experiences with meetings lately and not sure what I am doing wrong. I want that man to want me to take care of him but having difficulty with it. Any pointers
Once again your on point...I agree with you, we should let a man feel like a MAN. The Bible states that the man (a GOOD man) is the head of his home. I personally don't have any issues with that.
how to balance both
please teach me
I am not able to work if I feel feminine
if I feel masculine I am not able to feel
please help
lol
i have a crush on a femme guy
and im more masculine *more so with my body type*
sooooo
i guess its the opposite?
Just love your video and your tips. Great stuff. Makes so much sense. Thanks!
and what if I dress with big, black band t-shirts and have short hair? unu
Awesome video, that's how women and men are made - to need each other. Men have to lead and women have to allow it wihtout losing control or power :). Really loved it!
I'm attracted to feminine looking men and if they act it that's good too
+PrincessAlo not a real one I just don't find streotypical men attractive
Me toooooo!
Vkei+fitness I am the opposite
your videos are awesome!!🌸
such an awesome channel!
***** Thank you :) Nice to hear from you
+Sexy Confidence I too enjoy your channel. I understand the message you're trying to convey but I think your message gets lost because of your binary approach. You describe masculinity as dominance and femininity as submission. However both of these attributes are not genetic predispositions but instead we have been socialized to label them as masculine and feminine. Women in leadership positions often have to be a little more dominant in their professions. They are often described as "bitches" while men's dominant personalities in the workplace are applauded. I'm a very independent woman in a leadership position that pays well. Many would say that I am dominant, yet very feminine. I am very nurturing (which sadly is considered submissive/and feminine, when I think it just means you're loving), l love make up, jewelry, heels, dresses, etc. I treat my staff with support and encouragement, but I do not shy away from firmly holding them accountable when needed. Dominance and submission to me is circumstantial and subjective. At work, in my friendships, and when dating, I am dominant and I am submissive depending on the situation and who I am interacting with. I expect my partner to do the same.
Magic! That's how it goes. Once you laid eyes on a person you are connected with, you will not noticed his masculinity or femininity. Act naturally. You don't need to pretend to be somebody whom you are not just to please somebody. Let that person like you just the way you are.
omg thank u so much for this video.. awesome video... i need to learn more about hot to become more femenine..
algala25 you're very welcome :)
I struggle with this A lot. I just don't want to be taken advantage of . Also will this approach work with interracial dating.
I think this was your best advice yet! It really spoke to me and I will now work on balancing! Now I get why I keep attracting Beta males and what I can do about it. Thank you!!
Thanks Adam! The videos are done with humor and kindness - both attractive traits in a man.
I've recently gone out with guys that seem to be intimidated by my femininity. I follow ALL the advice, but it seems like these guys have no clue. They seem to be super into me and attracted to me and I am really into them. But they can't, or won't, do much to try and impress me or win me over. Then they seem put off when I express that I like to actually go out and be taken on a fun date. I tell them that I just want to have a fun time and get to know them. No pressure. Why would they ask me out and suggest going to a restaurant and then change their mind? Then they're shocked when I say, maybe we're looking for different things. I know what I'm looking for, but these guys seem like they don't have a clue. They swear they aren't players and they really want a relationship. They'll even bring up marriage and meeting their family. But then why won't they take charge and allow me to be the woman? It almost seems like these low self esteem guys expect women to do all the work. That's not me. My friends seem to think that when we talk online they make plans and seem romantic, but the second they meet me they think they don't have a chance because I may be out of their league. Guy friends I have tell me the same thing, that they are so attracted to me that they are intimidated. I call bs on that. What the heck do I do???
+joyful gabby Be grateful these guys aren't following through so you can have room for the right guy when he finds you. You're not doing anything wrong. be patient. Meanwhile, Break down any walls that you have built up.
Becuase men want women to lead them. That's reality nowadays. Cmon. Take a chance and be in charge. Men never know what to do or where to go. Just lead them, they will,be thankful. Men are lost in this world, without a woman, when he finds her, he wants to rely on her, because know that women are the crucial and the only stable person in their lives.
Your so right guys like it when we females tell them what to do it gets annoying but they don't see it so guys are usually idiots and need a female perspective on things. Of guys I dated yes they don't know what to do if I didn't tell them. Where or when or how. OMG they are idiots that's why Adam ate the forbidden fruit cause he listened to of course the female. So it all started from the beginning. Sorry guys but you come from females. So you are kinda strong but need to know how to treat a female.
So iv'e been seeing this guy for about 4-5 months. I started to want a committed relationship and he said he doesn't like being pressured. does this mean he just wants to keep his door open?
Why em I even watching this??
Same
Ikr
yeah
Because you are curious. And a mind seeking knowledge is a valuable asset to a successful human.
you should just give up on Sasuke , he isn't worth it honey
Good video, couldnt agree with you more on this topic. Keep up the good work!
This is kinda funny to me, not just because you're completely wrong, but because in my personal experience the perfect, girlish, cookie-cutter good girl act gets boring after a while. I'm sarcastic, upfront, immature, a tad bit obnoxious, opinionated and definitely hard to get along with - yet, I've had no trouble finding men that are interested in me. On the outside, I LOOK like a very feminine, girlish girl with the feminine clothes, long hair and make-up - but, when I dress down with no make-up, hair in bun in a t-shirt and jeans, every single guy I've ever gone out with goes crazy. So, you see, femininity isn't everything all the time. Interior femininity isn't as important as you're stressing, neither is exterior femininity.
I don't like macho alpha males. They're fun for a little while, but, just as basic perfect, no substance girls do, they get boring after a while. Genuine, kind, funny, entertaining men are the best. Ones you can go on adventures with, share things with and the ones that keep you on your toes. It's ridiculous to say otherwise. Looks only last for so long. Life only lasts for so long. So, I'll continue to be an unorthodox sarcastic, immature person because that's who I am, and I don't need to change myself into a girly girl to get a guy for a night.
Al Mi so can I ask your age and how long has been your committed relashionship ..because everyone is attracted to different kind of ppl ..
idk how you dont have that many subscribes.........u should your just as good if not better.
well looks like im single for life i am a tomboy asf i am LOUD i laugh very loud and half the time i snort and i got a dirty mind ! i turn everything negitive and i speam up about everything i have strong opinion about everything single life
so far really liking the channel
Is this forreal! Okay I'm all about women being women. Let men hold the door and have basic gentlemen skills. But this whole being super feminine thing is a bit overdone dude. It sounds like he wants women to be babies and just spend their life boosting mens ego. Men don't want some passive boring girl. My HUSBAND and I are a TEAM! I do not spend my life making sure he feels masculine he can do that on his own. Why can't the lesson be "be yourself"? I agree that it isn't about looks but it isn't about pretending to be something you're not either. Guess what? When he finally ties the knot and figures out who you REALLY are, he may not like that side of you. So this is some seriously stupid advice.
yes! I agree. Plus I really like the idea of husband and wife as a team.
+Haley Clesh "Let men hold the door and have basic gentlemen skills." LMAO It's 2016! Wake up princess! You have a nice pair of hands you can do that to yourself. Men are not your slaves.
lol! looks like youre going to be VERY lonely! in 2016 my husband opens my door. No one said anything about slaves, it's called being POLITE.
+Alexander Delarge Yesss!!! Someone finally says it! I couldn't care less about the chair and door shit. I think that's terribly oldfashioned. That's not what makes a gentleman these days.
Susie H. So you don't hold the door for anyone? I find that either hard to believe or rude hahaha Didn't say it was required just said it was polite
Thanks for the help! It’s sometimes hard to let guys lead when they don’t lead fast enough. Any tips to know how to open dialog about wants and expectations?
First reason already right away I disagree with. So a girl had to be soft and feminine and it's up to the man to be a big strong man?? lololol. I call bullshit. How dare you give women this advice!! I attract very alpha men... lawyers, CEOs, etc and they **LOVE** that I'm a strong woman with goals that speaks her mind. They absolutely hate the girly girl (that you've pretty well described women should be) who radiates this aura of someone who needs saving. They don't want desperate, weak minded, and needy people, AND neither do I.
Summary?... Your advice is bullshit.
Ladies: Just be you.
If you have to change into what these morons in the video claim is a perfect woman and that's not who you are, then this guy isn't **YOUR** Mr. Right.
I think further elaboration on what is masculine or what is feminine is necessary. I like men who have a nurturing quality...I am not sure if now days this is a masculine or feminine trait. I had a discussion with a male aquaintance who thought men should be the physically stronger one in the relationship because a male's instinct is to be a protector. I have many years in the past loved going to the gym and lifting weights and was always proud of my physical strength. At one time because of the work I was doing (outside of gym) I had massive arms with lots of muscles. I felt great, (likely less attractive to men though.) I crinkled my face up when my aquaintance was talking about how men should be stronger, and then he says "fine, if you want to be the protector in the relationship then you will find someone who likes that...I myself do not find muscular weomen attractive". I felt like he was missing the point, because just because I am strong in a lot of different ways, and even physically (which I have had men comment before that I am the most fit woman they have ever dated etc...) doesn't mean I do not want a stronger guy to protect me. I think it is hard to not be who you are, and to just say...ok...I will be more feminine...you can wear make up or whatever, but you are always who you are. I think men and weomen should be equal...I know I am less physically strong than many men...but I want to challenge myself to be stronger in all ways...and part of this is practicality, so that I can do stuff I enjoy (rock climb etc.) Anyways...sorry to write all of this. Just maybe it is better to be exactly who you are because the right date will find you attractive the way you are. What would be the point of trying to be softer or something when in a few dates the real you comes out anyways?? So there are alpha males and beta males?? What about alpha females and beta females? One last comment-I don't think I am super alpha female, but my more recent experience was finding out that although I get along well with beta males as partners, the last thing any woman wants is a man who is a beta style in the bedroom. Just sayin!
This whole video is so not right. His definition of feminity is so vague. He spoke like either an 80 year old conservative lady, or a white chauvinistic man! Well, the second profile seems to match him better!!! All the ladies watching this video, especially the younger ones, please do not believe him. All you need to do is learn to love and value yourself, appreciate your qualities, and be a nice person. You will end up with the right person in due time. If you try to change yourself to hook a man and act "feminine" like the crap this guy is promoting, you will end up not loving yourself, and that can be really damaging in the long run for yourself as well as a relationship!
Good stuff!! Talking about information!
OMG this is so freaking stupid. the only way to be loved is find someone who lives as exactly as we are! you can nit act too long. one date, two, a week or a month but what later? do you want him to love YOU or someone who you act to be?
apmost no one is 100% masculine or feminine it's always some kind of mixture. and everyone loves sth else so just be yourself, god damn it!
thank you !
Monika #triggeredfeminist
Monika because you only love yourself?
Probably one of the best or better comments here. Be yourself. Don't put on an act. Be real. If a woman puts on the BS thinking she is going to attract me she is wasting her time. Meeting a compatible person is such a ridiculously difficult thing, it only makes more difficult if your trying to put on an act that you can only sustain for a brief period of time. Sooner or later your true self is going to show through and if it isn't anywhere near your "act" he is going to walk. You are basically lying to try to trap a guy. ALWAYS think, "What is this was being done to me???"
"bubbling idiots" aha us women appreciate your honesty and appreciation. Thanks for the love. We'll love you, cherish you, and uplift you in return!
You know what I secretly always wonder? Do these people who give love advice have a great love life themselves? I know it really doesn't matter all that much and it's absolutely none of my business, but I still wonder :P
Does he have vids on how to strike up convos with guys? Convos topics? I notice a guy at his job + we are still strangers & for me it's not the same as striking up convo at a cafe
Hey, Jennifer - thanks for watching and stay tuned! I just filmed a video on how to keep a conversation going with a guy. Make sure you subscribe so you're notified when it gets posted! :)
Ok, thanks Adam. I am inexplicably drawn to this guy and that rarely happens for me. I have one conversation starter because I accidentally ran into one of his co-workers the other day and it was kind of funny, but after mentioning that I don't know how to bring the conversation to him. I mean I could say how's your new year going. Thats my best guess. Then even after that, if I run into him at his job in the future, I'm looking for other conversation ideas. It seems like he works out so I may ask if he works out & does he do bicep curls & work on lats etc I used to work out - & maybe get into are u a morning work out person, evening or weekends. But beside these two conversations, afterward I'm looking for a few other ideas to continue conversation in future contact. I don't want to seem like I'm hitting on him hard, just open up communication bc I think we are both shy & have been silently oogling one another. Truth is, I don't even know if he has a girlfriend & will certainly Not ask, but hope to keep communication open so that I may give him my email in the future if he ever wants to keep in touch (I may be moving a year down the line). I just want him to get comfortable talking with me & eventually get to the point where if I give him my email or, I could ask for his (if there is something I want advice on (asking a dude for his help per your advice). I just want to keep conversation so that when it gets to that point it won't be weird I gave him or ask for his email : ) I of course wonder later if he has a girlfriend but, my strategy is to have familiarity so when can hit each other up later on if his situation changes & have had that repertoire / history of some convo. Your suggestions really help!
It's a nice idea but it's a bit out of date. Masculine men literally disgust me. If I could find a woman in a man's body (a man's feminine yet male body, to be clear) who wanted to marry me, I'd hop on up to that white horse and ride away.
There's a lot of men who are not overtly aggressive, yet you are not likely to find them at the club, pumping weights or fixing their hot rods.
In the modern western world you have very masculine men, nerdy men, zen men, slightly feminine men and very feminine men.
Slightly feminine men tend to be secluded and not open about it. They might see a dress a woman is wearing and think, "The pattern of that dress matches her heels, that is a perfect combination". Though, if he tells that to his guy friends that is basically social suicide and they are worried that telling that to a girl in question would label them gay or a creep.
And don't be so quick to dismiss the manly man. As a,straight guy I imagine I would love a girl that liked all the things I do, but history shows that opposites tend to attract because they spice up each other's lives. Do you really want to spend the day hanging out with your girl friends only to come home to a guy who is basically another girl friend but with facial hair? That will get old in a second.
It is not out of date to be masculine. You have odd taste, that's okay, but that doesn't make masculinity out of date.
Great videos, Adam. Thanks!
And, I AM attracted to feminine men. They are called metrosexuals. They are sexy. I don't agree with your view on this topic.
Never felt the need of makeup and making up but still waiting for the right man to give my heart 😊😍 and yeah I speak my mind out loud
Girls, plz don't give a fuck to what this guy says!
Be the way you want to be. Nothing is more sexy than being real.
He's not saying you can't be yourself. He's just pointing out what men have ALWAYS found attractive in women: femininity.
We do not need guys to define femininity. Or anybody else. And who is he to speak for all men? There are lots of idiots out there, like him (who find defenders like you), but there are also good guys who let women be themselves without trying to manipulate them.
+Makemyday2006
The majority of men like feminine women because they themselves are aggressive.
Some men are more layed back and prefer a more aggressive woman because they find feminine women too boring/weak/needy/useless or whatever. Or because they actually get them to do stuff since otherwise they would be lazy.
It's just a proportional thing. Find your significant other.
Ok. But what if the guy isnt very masculine, like what if he is more feminine, then would he go for a slightly more masculine female, because I'm not very feminine, I generally dress like a man, I like baggy shirts and stuff, and alot of the time I get mistaken for a lesbian, but I'm not, maybe that has somthing to with the fact that I definitely go for more feminine males, but would they tend to go for sombody like me? Or will they still go for the more feminine females??
Great advice! To many women have no ideas about this
michelle staunton unfortunately
I'm feminine but have been on my own for a long time. I can take care of myself in every respect and am very strong and intelligent. Do I have to dumb down then?
Definitely not purpledreamcatcher64
+Sexy Confidence can we chat
Nevermind
Please don't.
I'm in here wondering, "wait I'm a guy, Dafuq did I end up here?"
Ayy LMAO
Deadlyaztec27 because you need to learn things and grow ..
same, i dont know what im even doing
This was such a lovely video, I absolutely enjoyed watching it and I also agree with all you've said. Thanks for sharing.
my ears can't handle the shit being thrown their way.
I love this video and I find it to be very helpful, especially the part about "tap in; tap out of femininity in career vs. in family". Love it.
So your basically saying not to be yourself!
That's not what he's saying.
that is what he is saying. he is basically saying that masculine girls have less chance in dating than feminine girls.
+Aisha Osman
That's because most guys want feminine girls because of evolution. That's just statistics.
Yet, there is a noticeable market for more aggressive women amongst feminine men. Yeah, it's not typical but it's there.
Yup!
+Deadlyaztec27 so is he not saying that being feminine is more attractive and popular than being masculine ?
I learned so much from Adam's videos...you're You're the best Adam! :)
Yes! It's true what he says about femininity!!!
He was a little oversimplifying things. But, I know strong women who attract weak men and then grow to hate them because they do not respect them. I married a strong man, I am a feminine woman, but strong down deep. I started and ran my own business , all the while raising four kids. My husband and I had some loud arguments sometimes, but we have the deepest respect for each other and are more in love than we were 35 years ago. If there is respect and attraction, a man and a woman can work together and have a wonderful life together, allowing each one to be themselves and not fit into a perfect little compartment. P.S. Don't hold onto thoughtless things said in the moment, let it go and get back to having fun with each other. We both were good forgivers.
oh I love the video!! I feel more confident and gained more knowledge on what guys think which I would never know!!☺️ I just love the way you are and would love to have a guy like u in my life!!😇
OH F*€K! THE INTRO IS AWFULLY LOUD!
Interesting points; as a Feminine Presence teacher, I think that it is even more pleasant, powerful and effective if women keep up their feminine prensence at work also!
It's funny how he acts and "knows" what women want when he's not even a women!😂
+Nicole Blanchard The same way women act like they know what men want and will tell them what to want and how to want it right? Women will tell men that they should like masculine women. They will shame men for not liking fat/obese women. I see why many men marry non-American women b/c too many of you are masculine in attitude and shame men for having preferences, but will have no problems telling their preferences to men. For example, women can shame men for not liking fat/obese chicks, but women will have no problems telling short men they don't date short men. The difference between fat women and short men is that one of them can change their appearance; the other can't.
A Matt It goes both ways and I don't think that it's a specific type of nationality that women or men are that defines them of having a "masculine attitude". That's an opinion, certainly not a fact. Not all women know what men want, that's moreover why we watch these videos to get insight from a male figure himself. I certainly don't go around shouting out what men want but I do take in consideration what men say that they like and get an idea or perspective of what they desire. For instance, I have read many articles and have talked to many guy friends about what they find attractive in women and a recurring trait is confidence. I don't say that all guys want that but from the sampling I have personally talked to, have agreed to that. Every women and every man are different with different opinions and outlooks but I think it's wrong to say that "all women think this" or "all men say this" because in reality you don't know what EVERYBODY thinks, you only truly know what you think.
Nicole Blanchard - I get what you're saying, but he has to speak in generalities, he simply cannot interview ALL men and women in the world. He's giving us generalities. Most men want a feminine woman. You can be strong, CONFIDENT, independent and still feminine. Like for example, you can be independent, pay your own bills, do this and this, be smart, intelligent and intellectual and still be feminine. What's wrong with being feminine? let's say you're trying to open a jar of mayonnaise, your man is in the other room, yeah you can open it, but why not just ask your man to do it? Yeah you can put that book shelf together yourself, but why not let your man do it (esp if he offers)?
+A Matt Hello Matt, so I have pondered your opinions! I don't agree with your mayonnaise scenario! So if I'm perfectly capable of opening my own mayonnaise container but there is another man in the house, I should get up and let him open it for me even though I have already opened it in the room I was in. That truly makes no sense and undermines the women's ability. A women should be able to be self sufficient and not have to rely on a man!
Nicole Blanchard So then what exactly do you want from a man? It seems like you're perfectly okay without a man because you can do everything by and for yourself!