Ted Bear 2 - Cyanide & Happiness Shorts
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- Опубликовано: 16 сен 2024
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We're going to learn how to survive. Try and keep up!
Cyanide and Happiness delivers daily comics to your face-hole on www.explosm.net since 2005!
![[Subbed] Cyanide & Happiness S04E05: The Curse of Time 【氰化欢乐秀】时间的诅咒](/img/1.gif)
Ted Bear: "The trick to survive death is to simply not die."
*DEATH RATE DROPS TO 0%*
Lmao
Wait you can prevent a fatal heart attack?
Yup
With cancer
We did it boys, Dying is no more
Okay, let's face it. The rattlesnake tactic is the LAST defense mechanism you'd want to try in a prison shower.....
Oh God 0_0
True dat...
Or drop the soap
i21meerkat First thing that came into my mind when he was doing that. I dont really think its a tactic to try.
Señor Clean-F....
i21meerkat you mean shakeysnake
That's _EXACTLY_ how I want my funeral to go
CreepsMcPasta When you rise from your cocoon will you reveal your true insectoid or reptilian or whatever form or will you look like a human?
Wow
Dude your everywhere!!
:D
Wish dranted
Ted Bear: 16M
Ted Bear 2: 16M
*Perfectly Balanced. As all things should be*
*Avengers Theme Plays*
@SqueakerPlays ...
Thats why thanos snaped bruh
Ted Bear 1 is 17M now
*Ted Bear 1 gets 17M*
*Balanced Disrupted.*
Ted Bear is definitely by far my favourite
Character you guys made
Federer V.H. I can agree lol
Same
And he is voiced by Arin Hanson
Same
Or harry the handsome butcher!
sooo ted bear has the powers of every animal he sees, and is now super buff? looks like we have a new super hero.
tryplot Or, you know, Super villain, cuz he's in jail.
Leon Magnus Super survivor.
Not everyone in jail is guilty
xiChewy i mean he did get caught for public exposure of his buttocks and he stole a wallet
tryplot He's basically animal man
Ted Bear 3: How to Survive Prison?
We all need a third part, man. We do.
2ArAt we need part ten
luro caso
"Prison can be a pretty daunting place, mate. If you want to survive prison, you'll need some real survival skills up your sleeve. And what better place to look... than nature!"
Hops the prison fence and runs into the woods.
Joe A. "Try to keep up!"
Joe A. ya good one
Can we PLEASE get either a full version or at least release the current form of the Ted Bear rap? That shit is straight fire and I need to blast that shit on my system
Man, I"m with you. I HATE rap and I want a copy of that.
YEEESSS
Yeah, you right I was watching this video and this song came up and a couple guys at the other table told me to turn that shit up
...what the hell are you talking about a "full version" or "current form"? This is the full version. This is it, this is what they made. They don't fucking update it, seriously what do you mean "current version"? There is no other version. It goes hard for like 6 lines, and it's over. You want more, write more and share it with us.
@@DanaTheInsane "man I hate rap but I like this rap." Thanks for telling us you think all rap is the same, IN THE SAME SENTENCE WHERE YOU REALIZED YOU LIKE A RAP SONG, I was craving some cognitive dissonance. Maybe you just **gasp** haven't heard many kinds of rap?
Best Part Is Prison Rap
I agree
Do you know where this is from? Who wrote this Song?
Aaron the guards🤣
Aaron u mean prison fap
?
Damb right
2:19 crouching on *Skyrim*
So true..
ChBrahm i used to crouch, but then i took an arrow to the knee
ChBrahm 6:06 best part XD
46zenmaster you made my day ,bro
ChBrahm I was gonna say that XD
This was one of your greatest pieces, guys! My money was well spent!
OwariNeko You spent money on this video?
***** They had a kickstarter to begin making shorts.
OwariNeko Oh, I never knew about that.
Eniah K Thanks! I corrected it in my original post after your message. :)
Griffin kirkpatrick Same for me, that why I didn't know about the Kickstarter.
gotta say, Arin did a real good job voicing Ted, had no idea it was him.
Me neither his accent was so good I had no idea it was him
@@wolftales158even knowing it’s him I can’t hear it
"How to survive dying..."
"Not die in the first place!"
genius
Kyla Reid exactly
Can’t argue with that logic
Kyla Reid just genius
Kyla Reid is THAT your real name
I NEED A 3RD TED BEAR
I LOVE THIS
Golden Freddy's Channel Yes, but I guess you could call yourself Fred Bear!I'm sorry! I had to make a joke about Golden Freddy's real name, since I had the opportunity!
Golden Freddy's Channel FNAF CANCER
Golden Freddy's Channel We definitely dont need a 3,000,000th golden fazbear account though.
Daniel West My brother couldent take the hate and left me with this stupid account asa birthday present` without telling me how to change it or how to record
Golden Freddy's Channel I need a full ted bear rap
Ted has to break out with Señor Cleanfist, Harry the Handsome Butcher, and Gun-Man. It has to happen.
UPDATE: HOLY FUCK IT'S HAPPENING
Dont forget about sad larry
And Big hug Bill
Now that's a REAL prison breakout
Zer0 Pyr0 and teolley tom
Not to forget about the purple shirted eye stabber 💜🤔👁️
Firing someone just because he refused to injure himself during filming. Some director he is.
@Nate Meehan Not exactly. The boss was already threatening to burn the contract up for simply not eating his penis, before he even assaulted anyone.
The studio is literally named after him, he’d never been fired, just have a bunch of employee quits/firings, but never himself. The director/producer would’ve been reprimanded instead of Ted having to worry about his job.
@Mitsi Grabblerberg Oh fuck? Really? You mean I can’t just burst out of my own fat as a skinny survivalist? Fucking shame, I thought I could... fuck. Thank you, I never realized that a fictional cartoon book made into a fictional short series was fictional, we need more people in this world to state the fucking obvious all the time.
@@motodog242 someone needs to lighten up...
Not only that but why would a company named after him make him sign a contract
Thunbs up for full Ted Bear Rap
I wish I could (Im on phone)
***** oh, well im using g plus soo
+TroyRedstone We know that's impossible, btw, i found even a better button for you - The report button
+Darxis report this: *Nature*! *Drops pants* Flap flap flap flap.
That'll teach you
ted bera 3
WE WANT TED BEAR 3
WHO THE HELL ARE YOU TALKING TO?!?!
Cynical Nitro hi this is Ted bear. Today we are gonna learn, how to survive the youtube comment section. *rattles butt*
Ian Nijhof a
Me tooo i need show you my survive
Lets skip that one and go straight to 4
Ted would make a great superhero with his animal powers 😁
Scared Robin Animal Man already exists in DC.
Stop smiling
@Benjamin Joshua Beggs ..
try to keep up
Beast boy, the old one not the new one, the new one sucks
"Now, we're gonna go learn how to use library computers to jack-"
Ted bear
i actually don’t think he was going to say jack off maybe jack people credit card or something
"Look at this snakes rattle, and how it shakes when threaten,that's why it's called a shaky snake" I lost it😂
😂
kiao poorman sane lmao 😂
Ted bear should get his own mini series
I agree with you
Raul Genao yea Ted bear should be a ninny series
Raulin 22G true
This episode was truly a masterpiece.
mrpiggyjelly did you get the ref. between bear grylls (man vs wild) and ted 2?
BS Gaming I did
mrpiggyjelly:D
2:55 was some nice hentai/tentacle porn
mrpiggyjelly One of the best C&H episodes ever.
I like how he just casually takes the turtle’s shell off like it’s not physically part of its body.
Ted bear rap full version pls?
Yea
Was that Arin too?
Yessssssss!
Yup
Yes we want continue rap it cool
5:02
We all have to agree that Arin Hansen was the best voice acter ever for Ted Bear!
he voiced every ted bear skit man
Definitely
shit that was Arin?!
*Hanson
Excuse me *WHAAAAAAAAAA-*
Ted Bear 3
pls
+Parker Dalberg Ted Bear 3: Prison Survival
no idea but it will work
+Parker Dalberg Yes
+Hunter Oblivian yea nigga
4:11 IM LAUGHING MY *** OFF 😂😂😂😂😂😂
6:42 WHAT.. THE... FUCK...
In prison you do what you gotta do.
+Killer Memestar like backstabbing your m8s?
yeah wtf
don't forget his 40 ft nuts
+johny1220 who mans is this gimme your ring
The song at the end was awesome
the song at the end( 1 HOUR VERSION) - ruclips.net/video/46zlWYUz3l0/видео.html
I NEED IT!!
It was cool
Heres the lyrics yw:
Ugh,
Nature,
Yeah,
Im straight barricuda,
Pug with a new bone,
Thug with a fanny pack,
Slug with a foot long,
Goddanm platipus,
I dont give a fuck,
Steer on my tail,
At 40 foot nuts,
Cuz this is nature,
I was born to survive,
Im hurricane 10,
Im catigory 5,
Also known as the dung beetle,
Running this shit,
Piss in my river,
Get a fish up in yo dick,
Yeah, deathbed in this motherfucker,
Goddanm!
Kai you don’t know the lyrics lol
Ted bear becomes the villain in the next "Too many superheroes" episode
Spinach Boy he is not a villan, he wants to survive
Spinach Boy we have Harry the Handsome (insert occupation) Mr. CLEAN, and that random superhero that turned villain after a couple of kids asked what he gets payed and TED BEAR
Spinach Boo
I would pay good money for a Ted Bear feature film
W a i t
W a i t
Why didn't he just eat it and regrow it. He has the powers of all the other animals.
xXDJLEE02Xx Well it seems me and you have two very different definitions of a good time.
xXDJLEE02Xx is that even possible?
Phoenix Wright HA! GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY
effkanurr any straight man will eventually try to suck his own dick.
Phoenix Wright uh not me im not GAY
What is that beautiful outro music?
Munch NomKakes for real that shit was hard
Munch NomKakes I would also like to know.
Munch NomKakes Darude TedStorm
Munch NomKakes Ted Bear Rap by Derek Miller
Girouettex You sir, just won the internet today
He could've just hidden in his shirt and be completely invisible.
Slenderman He wasnt wearing a shirt
He could've took off and flew away... he was a flying squirrel, so it could've happened
Slenderman Flying Squirrels would need to jump of of something high up, cos they can only glide.
He could've flown like a bird is what i'm saying. Not like a flying squirrel
Slenderman Tru
6:30 Who's Ted's ghostwriter, the RZA?
Qtip
No slugs were harmed in the making of this film
thank god
But there was a sex scene
The Wizard Assassin Actors, it was fake
Little do you realize, this was a video the whole time >:D
+TED BEH OMG HI TED BEAR IM YOUR BIGGEST FAN
Love the ending song. So epic.
6:29
It’s a parody of Dmx’s X gon give it tobya
To ya*
@@DiamondBlocks-yx4yb 🤔 no it's not
Atoopen yes it is. You’re probably to young know the song
3:04 It was at that moment he knew he f***** up
“That’s why it’s called a shakey snake”
Ted Bear 2015
this made my year
No
***** I want you inside me now.
morro190 No, U don't.
morro190 that was smooth as a plane in 9/11
zeebra901
this made my ear
The snake part when he was in his underwear had me dying!
Theres snake in my boot? More like Theres a snake in my butt .3
XD That ending was pretty sick tho.
yeah pretty astonishing isn't it
@@mycompaqlaptop8773 Dont you mean ASSTONISHING
6:29
That rap should be on spotify
TEB BEAR 3, LET'S GO!
Sif Smith TED BEAR 3 WOOHOOO
Bidoof Is boss ted bear 3 where
Sif Smith April fools
Please. Please I need that full song. It is the best one I've listened to for a long time. God damn it.
Paine Uchiha need. da. song. now.
This is probably one of the best rap songs since Get Low :D
Yes :D
"Ugh! Ted Bear in this mother fucker! Goddamn!"
Paine Uchiha You're kidding right?
Have issues paying rent or just getting food... Do a crime! -Ted bear
Ted Bear: "The trick to survive death is to simply not die"
*Guys we did it, death is no more*
That Tortoise had some quer balance
thenthapple YOU'RE HERE! I love your stuff, man! Keep up the good work and have a good one!
He's one smart fox
thenthapple woop, fallout 4 announcement in june hopefully
Hey Apple! Was good?
Steven Fenix plz god
I've been watching Egoraptor and Game Grumps for years now, along with the first Ted Bear, and I never knew Arin voiced Ted... Wow...
I JUST FUCKING LEARNED THIS TODAY WOW
WHAAAAAAAAAAAAT OMG FANBOY OVERLOAD
holy shit i just came
HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Same here. I just saw that today.
6:21 had me dying till 6:26
@@abiubunifu8308 Because it only had him dying until 6:26, he was okay afterwards.
@@dededethesuperstarwarrior Touché
@@dededethesuperstarwarrior that makes sense now.
True, so true….
That ending rap goes as hard as the time Ted Bear is serving.
imagine if hiding in your shirt actually worked
The gaming god games 243 would save black people
Amber Baker 😑😑😑😂😂😂
That's what I said to my brother. 😂
Pull a bank heist and just side
Amber Baker is my name WHO STOLE MY NAME
At 6:27, I'm amazed at how authentic that sounds. It sounds as if he's really in jail.
Sounds more like the school corridors to me! 😂
School=prison
How exactly do you know what a prison sounds like?
6:26
1:45 is the best part
Jesus christ this is 5 years old?!
*ALREADY?!*
Damn I remember the day this came out I was like "Aw sweet" and clicked immediately
that rap though.. too bad it's just 30 sec...
40 foot nuts? 😳
yeah
Michsky the rap said" and a huge DICK"
Michsky we need to ask them if they can make a full version of that song and release it
I loved the last Michsky😁😁😁😁😁😁😁👍👍👍👍👍
6:20 " Who the hell are you talking to !? "
This killed me
and the shut the fuck up after that XD
6:26
Why hasn't anyone commented on the part where ted instinctively "becomes a shakesnake"😂
Nicholas Phillips idk I did BUT THAT SHIT WAS SO FUNNY
Lmao
Im late but you did
Million Badger79 you have now
Shake *Y* snake Million Badger79
5:44 top 10 saddest scenes in anime
shrimpin ain't easy in this Barbie world
props for that one
bro where did you get that pic xD
She's Shino from Sao if you are wondering who she is, probably from a doujin or hentai gallery
+yylee123456 You sure it's not Sinon?
+Thomas Lheureux same person
soz for spoilers maybe
your pic °v°
I tried the *shaking when threatened* thing when my teacher came to collect our tests.
Did it work ?
Confused Squirrel for me it did
Now that beginning is an actual plot twist
And just like clockwork, our Explosm God's delivered Ted Bear 3 today.
Such a long journey
4:16 pufferfish
That rap in the end was dope
Everybody do the "Shaky Snake"
Who else came here after seeing 4:11 in one of the WWlll Memes 😂
Gambino 🙋🏾♂️😂😂
@isthisdylan z
No
No
5:33 we are going to learn how to use library computers to jack--
the rap at the end its epic GODDAM
squid time55 yeah deadpool soundtrack
Adarsh kumar thanks
This are the lyrics:
UHH... NATURE...: DAMN... I'm straight barracuda, pug with a new bone, thug with a fanny pack, slug with a foot long, goddamn platypus, I don't give a fuck, stinger on my tail and 40 foot nuts, CAUSE THIS IS NATURE I WAS BORN TO SURVIVE I'M HURRICANE TED, I'M CATEGORY 5, ALSO KNOWN AS THE DUNG BEETLE RUNNING THIS SHIT, PISS IN MY RIVER GET A FISH UP ON YOUR DICK, uh, yeah, Ted bear in this motherfucker, god damn.
It's awsome because they parodied the song before Deadpool even made it wildly popular
Mr. Mister exactly
I watched the ending to this 5 times now. It is my favorite ending to any Cyanide and Happiness short. Hands down.
Got it for my ringtone. The whole crew sings along after a year. And ppl wonder why it takes me so long to answer.... gotta let Ted do his thing.
I'm not kidding when I say Ted Bear is one of the funniest characters I've ever seen
That was fantASStic!
Ted bear 3 soon!
EdgyMac FartAssTic!*
***** And yours is behind me.
Stop it! You're making an ass of yourself!
Next time on Survival Grumps.
JesseRoxII lol, nice
Fuck I GOT IT
AAAAAARRRRRRRIIIIIINNNNN!!!!!!!
ILOVEYOU
JesseRoxII
lol
Arin's a god.
those slugs were gettin it 😂
Hailey Elliott like your tongue
Hailey Elliott damn girl your fine
@@jacobj1517 virgin
Matt Blair virgins are always the best
@@jacobj1517 use the Shakey Snake tactic in the bed. It's great.
1:02 the car just drove through the camera man
please make Ted bear 3
Yes
oh yea
Yeah where is red bear 3
*ted
The Ted Bear 3 plot should be how to survive in prison and the end should be him escaping.
5:19 3 DOTS ON EVERY NACHOS - NACHOS IS ILLUMINATI
NACHOS ARE ALSO IN THE SHAPE OF TRIANGLES ILLUMINATI CONFIRMED
Mr_Awesomeness 3 DOTS, COMMENTS AT 33 MINUTES AND 3 MINUTES AGO. HALF-LIFE 3 CONFIRMED
3 dots don't mean shit
DDRockerLawl 3 dots, triangle has 3 sides, illuminati is a triangle, illuminati confirmed
Oh god, their cover is blown! Run, ***** ! Run!
*TED BEAR 3 OR I BLOW UP THE DAMN TRAIN*
xD
Carl 'CJ' Johnson Heh...
Carl 'CJ' Johnson what train??....•_•
You can't follow it so how you gonna blow it up?
Deaven the king rocket launcher 😏
2:55
Me: exposed how those youtube allow this
I need that song at the end where can I find it. ..I neeeed it
nevermind
Ted bear rap by Derek miller
+benjamin wayne Thought They Made It Themselves That Song Sounds Too Perfect For The Setting
I know right
Its called darude sandstorm
+Dala Solo Ow God! That's not funny anymore! That's older than my grandma's grandma.
The song is everything... please do a long version!
ikr!
omg same. I would so make it my ringtone
You cant get in trouble for indecent exposure while in your own home.
Preston Jackson there's actually been cases of it happening
Tell that to me when one of your daughter's friends comes over and it's a No-Pants Friday.
Makoto Mikami that's a completely different situation thats someone commiting1) the crime of trespassing 2) harassment 3) indecent exposure because it's outside of your house.
If I'm a single man I'm my own apartment and I decided to walk around in my birthday suit all day long you'll arrest me for that?
Preston Jackson did you even read makotos comment?
salame 269 Wtf??? There can't be..... They should be arrested for PEEPING in the persons house to begin with, and I know people get arrested for peeping, like keep your damn eyes to yourself.
“Did someone say, surVival?”
ted bear 3 when?
how do u knw? Just curious.
lol in ted bear 1 he was dead. I think he will get out of jail too pretty easily if he overcame death xD
Khushal Shroff yeah trick to surviving jail don't get in jail " shows clone factory"
Maybe he didn't go to jail. He just faked it I think
Did you guys even see the after credits?
The turtle survival trick is basically how GTA works when trying to escape the cops with less than three stars.
"I thought Ted took a mad shit on the boss's face when he escaped."
6:29
Our repeat button
This isn't a short. This is 7 minutes!!!!
dilz2012 but damn it is pretty good
dilz2012 how is that bad? its fucking awesome
Batman
Is
Me
Sam Bilson You're more like Yoda tho
Really?
I'm
Yoda
wow i actually didnt notice that was egoraptor's voice....usually im good at catching that ......well done arin ....well done
TheGeckoNinja I suppose with Ross around he's got pretty good at his Australian. Or whatever Ross has. Nevermind.
At first, you cant tell, but after knowing it's him and rewatching it, you can tell it is him! :P
Hampsterman4 Whatever accent he was trying to do, it was definitely not Australian. Aside from that, Bear Grylls (the guy they were parodying) is English, not Australian.
The more I try to listen for his voice the less I hear it...
ozifest123 Like a user up there, I think Ted Bear is supposed to have some Steve Irwin in him as well.
...Wouldn't TBS go out of business?
What is ted bear studios without ted bear
They would have replacement but yes it would go bankrupt it will be those moments like that one time they fired this one guy in a tv show then everyone hated that and the other two actors left the business and they went horrible
+Reptilan Sulder top gear?
+Reptilan Sulder top gear?
+ps4sw not sure
I can’t believe Arin voiced him and I didn’t know it
"People die when they're killed"
Ted Bear: "Hold my bear trap"
That you’re correct doesn’t mean you are right
Turtle scene = Video game logic
Skyrim in a nutshell
smitty werbenjagermanjensen Ha... I get the pun.... Wow... I'm catching on rather slowly aren't I?...
Jozza117 you shell see 2 times to get it ¿or not?
Lol. MGS and its box and assassins creed in blending in with the people. Gotta love it. Lol
Tomo Cas Not to mention GTA with its cops.
4:30 Why don't he uses the grasshopper jump?
Wow 😲
idk.
he needed that to get us a badass rap
I love when he says " cuz this is nature I was born to survive I'm hurricane Ted I'm category 5"
Silly Arin trying to say "banana" in an Australian accent using American "a"'s
Fenrir B It's more like buh-nuh-nuh
Holy shit. I watch game grumps every day and it did not even occur to me that that was Arin Fucking Handon.
After reading your comment, I've been trying to figure out how to pronounce banana.... I say it Ber-nar-ner not ba-na-na ... I'm confused - Over a BANANA!! XD
midivilplanet me 2 :O so weird
midivilplanet At 6:15 I knew I finally recognized him
I can't get that rap song out of my head, anyone else?
Same, I came back just for the ending part... It's rly good
same
Really hope they do more Ted Bear
+Ghosttr me too
what is the song called????
since they're both in jail, c&h should do an episode or short with a showdown between ted bear and señor clean fist. that or they break out and take over the world
Good Idea
This need to be done
Nolan Butcher YES!!!
Did you say grime?
Nolan Butcher Ted Bear is always covered in some sort of muck though.
4:28
... how in the f**k is it NOT about him?!? Lol