Three Steps to Help Clients Better Tolerate Distress

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  • Опубликовано: 9 дек 2021
  • When a client is in emotional distress, their first instinct is often to try to make the pain go away . . .
    . . . but by avoiding those feelings, the pain usually just grows.
    That’s why helping clients learn to sit with and manage distress is critical.
    In this video, Michael Yapko, PhD, shares a three-step approach to do just that.
    To check out the NICABM blog, click here: www.nicabm.com/three-steps-to...
    NICABM - Better Outcomes. More Quickly.

Комментарии • 25

  • @noreenvance5554
    @noreenvance5554 2 года назад +57

    Step 1. Distinguish between what is personal vs. what affects you personally.
    Step 2. Distinguish between what is controllable and what is not.
    Step 3. Compartmentalize stress by focusing on a goal.
    Wrote this out for those of us who need to see it. :)

  • @karolinaciucias664
    @karolinaciucias664 3 месяца назад

    Dr Yapko, your book 'Breaking the pattern of depression' is SO helpful to me. I can't thank you enough.

  • @helenabarcas1382
    @helenabarcas1382 Год назад +3

    Thank you, from an elderly patient's view, without access to therapy or other helpful resources, holding on from a remote area.

    • @chinookvalley
      @chinookvalley Год назад +2

      Helena Hi! Me too! Having been to therapists' offices over the years, I have found much better therapy online. Our disadvantage is actually a bonus. I have been able to find therapists who use a telephone visit! I live in a remote area where zoom doesn't work. There are several really good ones here on RUclips.

  • @Reconsiderate
    @Reconsiderate 2 года назад +6

    helpful distinctions, saying "personal vs affects you personally" and also the idea of "importance of the goal". thanks!

  • @jasoncowell5133
    @jasoncowell5133 2 года назад +7

    Refreshing thoughts can be helpful (as this video stones a light on so well here), but working bottom up also where you acknowledge and support the client to learn to be with the feelings and over time to allow them to communicate their message and the unmet needs underneath

  • @katharinab306
    @katharinab306 Год назад

    One of the most helpful videos I found on self regulation etc. in the last 2 years. Thank you so much, Michael. 🙏💐

  • @JoyfulWisdom
    @JoyfulWisdom 2 года назад +1

    Wise. Thank you, Michael 🙂

  • @aLovelyDay4Love
    @aLovelyDay4Love 2 года назад +3

    Could someone please summarize the points that are made in this video for us that are having trouble focusing?

  • @longstoryshort8657
    @longstoryshort8657 2 года назад +3

    is compartmentalizing desirable in the long run? It does help but does it cause problems later ?

  • @chinookvalley
    @chinookvalley Год назад

    Oh, my. The first 2 reasons he gave for distress? Happened to me. 30+ years later they still bother me. As a survivor of something that injured me for life, I only WISH that I COULD compartmentalize the trauma and stress from getting me to the GOAL!!! But my distress won't let me. That is what my therapists DON'T understand.

  • @deelot1
    @deelot1 2 года назад +3

    Could you please clarify the difference between compartmentalisation and dissociation? I know that dissociation sometimes involves focusing attention on a goal to avoid underlying feelings and needs.

    • @tonyburton419
      @tonyburton419 2 года назад +1

      You will not get any reply, to your fine question.

    • @kalash_nikov
      @kalash_nikov 2 года назад +1

      It seems (based on the explanation provided in this video) that compartmentalization is just a process that leads to dissociation. Unless you understand dissociation as "spacing out", in which case compartmentalization would be suppressing feelings with sense of necessity (achieving a goal).
      Imo, ok to use occasionally, but not regularly. Otherwise those compartmentalized feelings will keep popping up, most likely more often and more intensely.

    • @sarahlawrence1451
      @sarahlawrence1451 2 года назад +1

      I think the idea is that compartmentalization is an active coping strategy. It is dissociation but in a positive way. In trauma healing, there's a concept of 'titration', where you let yourself feel a distressing emotion but only in micro doses so you can cope and integrate the experience/emotion. It's ok to dissociate again after to protect your mental health. There's also a concept of 'pendulating' which is similar, where you go into an emotion/experience for a very short time, then back out of it back to your comfort level. Best to do under professional guidance

    • @Kikuye
      @Kikuye 2 года назад +2

      I'm wondering this too. I thought I was doing things correctly before...but pretty sure I was just dissociating by telling myself my feelings don't matter. I think it probably has to do with hierarchy and being able to feel a certain amount (?) that is tolerable but not so much that it completely immobilizes.

    • @chinookvalley
      @chinookvalley Год назад +1

      @@kalash_nikov Well said. Sure is true for me.

  • @AG-mb7wl
    @AG-mb7wl Год назад

    👍🏼

  • @shahilagh
    @shahilagh 2 года назад +1

    When there is not that belief (in some cases this is true) yes there is just pain. But you didn’t build on it.

  • @tonyburton419
    @tonyburton419 2 года назад +4

    Some distress is not just simply self-generated, - may occur due to having contributed, - but others have also played a role - but are unable to own it. What then? What if these few others are highly emotionally significant, but where one has owned our contribution, explained how it occurred, expressed this very clearly but this just falls on deaf ears, - who own nothing. Not overly convinced at all with this breakdown, nor of the importance of the "goal" - whatever that means. Notice not one reply.....! CBT pie chart would l suppose dial down the "distress"