Story 1: You missed the obvious faulty logic as well. The step-mom was going to pay £120 to have the hair cut, but because the hair was detangled, she ended up only paying £60. So she *saved* £60. She should be thanking the stepdaughters friends mom.
Wrong she didn't save the stepmom anything, she prevented the stepmom from asserting 'authority' over the girl. That 'authority' is worth £120 to the stepmom.
@@vinaypatel8578let’s call it what it really is. Abuse. Let’s also call C for what she really was and not stepmom. Actually let’s not sense I might can get in trouble with RUclips guidelines.
In the 2nd story, the fact that it sounds like the daughter in law was demanding, not asking, for the ring on top of already receiving thousands of dollars of gold makes me believe this girl is an entitled brat and the op's reaction was justified
Lol yup, if someone were to demand something from me I’m such a way I’d be instantly offended and angry too. I don’t think there’s any missing story here, rSlash is just jaded from reading too many Reddit stories lol
Story 2: The daughter-in-law was demanding the ring not asking, not sure how rSlash thinks someone demanding someone's expansive possession be handed over isn't a reason to get angry. Also an heirloom is for someone to give not someone to demand, it would also make more sense for these type of heirlooms to go to OP's daughter first and not the daughter-in-law.
Because the escalation doesn't make any sense, it definitely feels like shes down playing her role in this issue and that prob why the son is mad at her - Plus how is it an heirloom if OP just bought it or made it? My mom used to Gaslight me like this an then flip the script when things got heated
@@dudeorduuude5211 This is also making an assumption of an unreliable narrator. Honestly asking for someone's expensive stuff is also very rude, so even if she just asked bit of a weird thing to do.
@@OrgBobaFret The daughter-in-law called it an heirloom not OP. Some people do in fact get angry when asked/demanded to hand over an expensive item especially by a person who from the sounds of it is already giving plenty like 6,000 British pounds worth of gold.
Story 2: borrowing is not the same thing as giving it away, tell your son he should already know You're not spineless. It's not family heirloom that she's entitled to, it's your property that you are not going to just give to her because she somehow convinced herself your stuff is her's. Even if it was a family heirloom when's your daughter be the one that get it now someone who hasn't even said I do yet?
I hope OP has a locked box or somewhere safe to keep her rings. I wouldn’t be surprised if FDIL felt like she can take OPs house from son and help herself.
@@mattybrunolucaszeneresalas9072 I think they mean OP has daughters. So wouldn't the daughters get priority for the 'heirloom' ring instead of a daughter in law.
The girlfriend, Cathy, in the first story, is the example of evil step mother. They didn't have to cancel the haircut appointment, she could have easily still taken April in to get her hair trimmed and styled, especially after being knotted for months. It would have been a great opportunity for the 2 to bond, with a fun trip to the salon. But instead the psycho GF went on a rampage over 60 pounds!! Such bizarre behavior.
Another thing I don’t understand/misunderstand is why she is mad over the 60 bucks. The cancellation fee is half the cost of the cut… so didn’t OP save her 60 bucks and a trip to the salon?
She also only had to pay 60 pounds because she canceled instead of 120 pounds. Also is that normal? 120 pounds for a haircut sounds ridiculous, it should cost no more than 15 pounds.
@@PunakiviAddiktiwhen a client has matted hair, it will cost more as they still arent just cutting the hair. there will be some matts that need detangled. so thats why it costs more than a regular cut.
No, no, no for the "heirloom story": heirlooms are not "to be handed down before the person dies". That is not the definition of "heirloom". The definition is a piece that is traditionally handed down in the family. OP bought this ring. She has the right to say if it is an heirloom or not. The fact that the fiance asked if she could have it is not the problem. The fact that the fiance is not happy that she cannot have it is unfortunate, but still not the problem, though it begins to be because she would not leave it alone. The fact that the fiance put ANY KIND OF FURTHER PRESSURE ON OP IS the problem. And then, if you please, she goes to the groom to put EVEN MORE pressure on OP? YES!Yes the fiance IS "picking over the estate before OP is dead!". I don't care how much OP has given over for the wedding, (though, even worse because it sounds as though she has given over a lot!), that is OP's ring. She can (and cannot) give it over to whomever she likes! Sorry, Dabney, I think this is quite straightforward, actually. Though, I do understand how the escalation could make it seem dodgy...
Also, the polite way would have been to ask if she'd be willing to let her have any of the rings as her engagement ring, not selecting a particular one and demanding it.
The way it escalated tells me that DiL has been acting entitled throughout the entire engagement and wedding planning, and OP simply had enough when DiL crossed a line into demanding something personal from OP.
@@weloveaplateofeggs it happens but not until they have been a part of the family for years or if the son came to the mom and asked for it then gave it but not this way
So…the daughter in law would be more than happy to pass the ring down to her future daughter or daughter in law? Yeah right. She just wants it for herself. If she wants to start an heirloom she can pick one out herself and pass it down. Pretty impolite to specifically ask to make an item an heirloom so she can have it. My mother in law actually gave me her first wedding ring last Christmas which surprised me and I love it. So I’ll probably make it an heirloom somehow. But I have four daughters so…😬😆
This is the first time I outright disagree with rSlash's opinion. She came into her future MIL's home ( Not even married yet! ) and DEMANDED the ring as a gift, not asked, and on top of that wanted gold as well?? Screw her
@@nikispade1350 honestly, they are great but I think it's always the worst ones that dabney has the wrong opinion about 🤔 like he has the right reasons but the wrong response
I’m half Indian, and I don’t know if this is a family thing or a cultural thing, but my family consider it rude to openly ask for something of high monetary value - or openly asking for something that might inconvenience someone. If they’re given something of value that they want or need, they’re expected to make a big show out of saying no before they accept it. I know it was jarring for my dad. When they said “NOOO we can’t possibly ask for your help on this”, he’d ask them if they were sure, then shrug his shoulders. “Okay”. Cue my grandparents’ shocked pikachu face. If story 2’s family is anything like mine, it’s considered to be pretty brazen and disrespectful to just come out and ask for something rather than hinting at it or asking through her husband to be. P.S. I find this pretty annoying and stupid, too. Don’t come at me. I’m just providing context.
I don't think that particular mindset is a family/cultural thing. I think most people would be put off by someone else demanding an expensive and prized possession with the amount of entitlement that the DIL is showing OP.
It sounded more like Demanding, not asking (id say there is a difference) ...and whilst i cant be sure if this is a Danish thing, or an Aspergers thing, the sheer arrogance of demanding things like that is a red flag to me personally (and a bit of a berserk button)
I’m Indian and I grew up in the USA and my mom has the same habit of gathering expensive clothes and jewelry. I pretty sure it’s rude regardless of culture to demand for someone’s stuff of the bat. It makes the person who’s asking for it seem entitled to the other person’s stuff.
Story 3: It sounds like the half-sister has some resentment issues towards the new dad for basically taking the place of her own dad, and it escalated into straight up hatred for OP as well for just existing. And then she randomly turns around and wants OP to come to the wedding to "look better," whatever that means. The Mariana Trench sized audacity of this witch. Sounds like she'll just go back to bullying afterwards. She needs therapy, and the mom needs therapy
I thought this, too. It sounds like the mom didn't try and do anything to help, neither the sister nor OP. Like the little girl was what between 9 and 12 when her dad died and mom got remarried? Then she goes straight into hating the sister. This could be a case of the mom not giving the sister attention to focus on her new husband and then kind of replacing her with OP, so now she has a new family. But not doing anything to help the OP when things got bad with the bullying to the point where she wishes someone dead. All this to say, her behavior isn't acceptable, and she needs therapy, but you can kind of see where she may struggle and understand why OP wants nothing to do with her. The worst asshole is the parents but MOSTLY the mom.
The "Look Better" comment is basically, it's all about the appearance of the half-sister. People noticed that the two "sisters" weren't in the same room or were never around at the time and started to ask questions. But the half-sister couldn't come out and tell them the truth, so to "Save Face" as the saying goes, she needed her half-sister there to make her look like the better old sister, not this outright hateful sister.
From the sounds of it, the mom and step-dad just put up with it all OP's life. Like when the half-sister calls him the fuck-buddy he just smiles and says "LOL, you've got _my_ number!" (or something) and that's really not okay. Though, the mom is _more_ at fault, because obviously the half-sister would never listen to someone who "wasn't her _real_ dad."
I think the only responses to OP's mom and half-sister feeling upset are along the lines of "cry about it" "you made the bed and lay in it" "new phone who dis" like you don't just dis your half-sibling for years and expect them to suddenly forgive you, like she made it clear as crystal that she doesn't love OP and now she has the gull to be upset that OP doesn't love her either after years of hatred, I've said before "the opposite of love isn't hate, it's indifference" but this bastard showed nothing but hatred towards OP because... I don't know why
I personally think OP’s Half Sister believed OP would happily accept the offer. After all, when they were kids, OP seemed to worship the ground she walked on, and because her half sister cared so little for OP, she didn’t even notice that OP had grown to hate her. She probably assumed that OP still wanted a relationship and that her attempts to avoid OP were working. So, she thought that if she asked OP to come to the wedding, asking her in-person no less, OP would happily come. But since OP made it clear that ship sailed and that her half sister is pretty much dead to her, she couldn’t comprehend it. Honestly, it sounds like she may have been a bit spoiled, especially if their mother never stopped OP’s Half Sister. Hell, the fact that the mom got excited at the invite seems to imply to me even she never realized how bad things were.
the heirloom story: op is NTA. daughter in law gets 3/5 buttholes. op said no and DIL didn't want to take no for an answer. it's after she insisted that she get the ring that op, understandably, got pissed off hence the "picking through my estate before I'm even dead" remark. I'd be mad too if someone didn't respect my answer and tried to coerce me into giving up expensive jewelry. Also if the son wants his fiance to have an expensive ring: THEN YOU BUY IT!! THEN YOU BUY HER A SAPPHIRE RING!!!
Right how did r/slash miss a chance to go on a "then you do it" rant on the son. How he was so off the mark on this story I'll never understand. She asked was given an answer and kept demanding after. Never mind the fact that there was an actual daughter to concider aswell. She was in the wrong and OP responded appropriately.
I'd be stunned that my kid's fiancee even had the nerve to ask such a thing! You're barely engaged and you're demanding a very expensive gift from my personal jewelry collection? WTH? Seems like a huge red flag to me.
@@TheBoboTheIceMan No, no he doesn't. And he never said the DIL was right either. He stated several times that he felt something was left out by the OP that would make her say such horrible things to a previously "great girl for my son". Granted, what the DIL did wasn't ok by a long shot, but to reply back this viciously is really odd. Remember, we're only hearing one side of this too.
In the ring story, OP didn't overreact. Sounds like she said no and the GF kept arguing about why OP needed to give her the ring and that's when OP escalated. You have to have major audacity to be watching how often someone wears a ring and then ask for. And then not take no for an answer.
Story 2: OP mentioned they already discuessed wedding gifts, finances and even gold prior to daughter in law asking for the ring, so I see how that question felt like "Aren't we giving enough already?! Now you want my ring to?!" Heirlooms are items lovingly passed down the generations, not something artifically created on the spot because someone is like "I want an hairloom"
1st story : April isn't even Karen/Kathy's s daughter!!! Shes just the girlfriend. 😡 the dad and the gf both suck for not even TRYING or just doing the basic maintenance of April's hair
@@juliaboskamp9666Definitely! I think she's jealous of her in more than one way, thats probably why she wanted to cut her hair really short so she wouldn't be as pretty, otherwise she cld of still taken her to get it trimmed
I want to give J the benefit of the doubt here considering he went out of his way to know what was going on between OP, April and Cathy and immediately stepped up and turned things around once he knew the truth. I think he was merely neglectful of April's situation, likely from trying to make things work with Cathy. Who was at best also purposefully neglectful towards April and at worst gaslighting J into being even worse. He still deserved the 2/5 AH score for his negligence, but people in the comments seem to be going a little too harsh on the guy.
@@CouchSpud91You know, I'm not really sure. I think James is still going to date Karen, just with some distance. I wonder if he really did learn to put his daughter first, or just trying to do damage control. There was a line in the update that Rslash didn't read - Op said she texted the screenshots to James' WORK phone, and then clarified that James gave her the work number to communicate with him because since they started dating **Karen would screen and delete his messages before he could see them** . That is a MASSIVE red flag, especially so early on, but he not only ignored it but he created a work around in order to placate karen. Presumably, his fear of a cold bed wa ls stronger than the red of her flags. This was just another of the long list of red flags she's already hoisted, and none of the others deterred him. I don't think this one will either. I get the impression this is just to save face around friends and family, and that Karen will be "working on herself during their time 'apart' so that she can be a great stepmother when they marry".
I actually really want to see how a judge reacts to the step-mom's NEGLECT of Cathy in story one should they sue it would be SO satisfying to see the case dismissed and the UK equivalent of CPS to get involved as a result of that lawsuit
Everyone's forgetting that she's not even a stepmother yet. She's still the dads girlfriend. So this makes the whole thing even more disgusting in my eyes.
I don't think Rslash read the second story because i feel like he's trying to blame op for this situation. op said that the woman DEMANDED the ring, not asked. You don't demand a ring you down own, and the woman even got all huffy when she didn't get her way. I'd get mad too if some person demanded your stuff.
Just coming to say this. Like she didn't just ask politely and drop the topic when told no. She freaking doubles down and has a Veruca Salt sized tantrum. She is marking OP's items as heirlooms when they have never been established as such. They are first gen items that still belong to a healthy person who is of no mind to sell or give away any of their pieces. Why wouldn't OP get defensive and think she's cherry-picking through her belongings prematurely? I mean have one of your family members waltz ass into your house, have them announce that they like *insert item important to you,* and they want it now because they deciding it's an heirloom and are calling dibs Tell me you wouldn't feel some kind of way.
For story 2...DIL DEMANDED that OP gives her the ring on top of 6K in other gifts/gold! DIL was being ungreatful and kinda "picking through OP's estate before she died"
Story 4: Your half sister told you she wish your mom got an abortion, she does not get to tell you you're wrong for not helping her look good. But your mom is worse for trying to sweep years of resentment under the rug so she can have that picture perfect happy family, that dream died because of the child that was ruthlessly mean to you. Tell your mom and your half-sister you are not a tool to be used when they need you, and if they want you to come to the wedding tell her to go back in time and he raised all those years of abuse.
Pretty much how i felt. Both half-sister and mom want to ignore everything that happened to have a veneer of picture perfect family before half-sister's big day. Never trust people who are only concerned with their image and how they look in other people's eyes, they rarely care for the people around them beyond the veneer.
I also think OP’s dad deserves a butthole score, not as much as the mom, more like 1.5. It sounds like he also never stuck up for OP and simply let everything slide just to keep the peace with his wife. Grow a spine and protect YOUR child!
As someone who's parents just stopped acknowledging me as a person, that first story just makes my blood boil. I used to hide bruises and stuff my family used to give me because my mom yelled at me about how reporting her to CPS would break up the family. I should've tried harder to do exactly that.
Story 3: The fact she bullied OP for her whole life and made it clear she wants OP dead, and she just invites her to the wedding and expects her to just comply and cave? No way! This evil girl played herself, she doesn't want her in her life, and she got her wish! She is the one in the wrong for being an AH to her half-sister. The mom is in the wrong for not stopping the bullying too. NTA.
Not to mention the grandmother warned the elder half sister that it will bite her back and it did. OP's NTA. OP's keeping to her elder sister's wish in staying out of her life.
@@lorilancaster5917 And yet, they expect them to accommodate her, this girl induces so much toxic energy even an actual toxic Karen will be breaking into a cold sweat.
I can't even imagine allowing this to go on in my home. My oldest daughter is from a previous marriage and then I have two younger than her from my second marriage. They are all super close to each other. I don't even think they ever even referred to themselves as half siblings to anyone else ever! They are brothers and sisters. I think the oldest sister deserves higher than just a 3 on the a-hole scoreboard!
Also what did they expect her to do at the wedding? When people come up and ask OP questions, and she's like the truth is half sister is a heartless b-word and wants me dead so we don't speak.
Story 3 : OP is clearly taking the high road here. Many others would have taken the opportunity to go to the wedding and turn her reputation to a shred by just telling the truth to everyone.
I also have to wonder how much the fiancé knows about everything? She never bothered to hide the true extent of her venomosity towards Op and her stepfather to other family members so I doubt she would hide it from her future husband. If he is aware of it all, why would you want to spend your life with someone like that? Either way, I sincerely hope she/they never have children.
Story 2: RSlash does not get this OP for a couple reasons. One, she’s a woman who had to work on her own jewelry collection. Men just don’t get it. Two, heirlooms are handed down from one generation to another. As in OP should be the one to dictate that, NOT the DiL. My mother has told my sister that she can use our grandmother’s engagement ring for one of her sons if he wants to do an heirloom engagement ring. My mother said this because our grandmother is dead. It is literally an heirloom.
Her gender has nothing to do with this. I'm sorry but assuming someone is a gold digger for asking is stupid as shit. Yes, the DIL is demanding but OP was quick to say, "OH you want to pick through my things?" ESH for me.
@@KazeShikamaru She DEMANDED the Ring along WITH THE EXPENSES OF THEIR WEDDING AND WEDDING PRESENTS, what on gods green earth gives her the right to demand an expensiv ring when her future in laws alrady pay for an expensiv wedding (wich mind you they don't have to pay, so are probally paying as their on decicion) AND STILL pay for wedding gifts. Thats like demanding the ring on top of a Car and an Apartmant and is just absolutely entitled
Story 1: Bro, that is one heck of a childish tantrum from C. Sorry, C, you took too long to take care of the problem, and your own solution wasn't okay either, so too bad, you lose £60. And then comes the update, wow C is even worse! Even A's dad didn't want the hair cut! Hope J gets better as a dad
Sounds like she didn't care until April's disheveled and ratty appearance started to make her look neglectful. Then because she is in fact neglectful, she just wanted to force the quickest solution. Now she only cares that she looks bad rather than the "hero" for "fixing" April's hair with her own money.
Best thing on this channel is Rslash not being able to go a single episode without reminding us all that he's a 10/10 dad just by the way he talks about his daughter.
Story 2 I’m on the OP’s side 100% she said that they already paid a LOT and if I paid a lot and than the SIL was like: You have to give me the ring too I would be pissed too. Be grateful for the generous help ffs
Story 2, I'm a collector, but mine is more typical, I collect and display figures of my interests, I can totally understand OPs point of view, she likes to collect and wear rings, it is majorly disrespectful to ask a collector for an item of their collection, it's for our joy, not someone's "welcome gift" huge red flag
Right? I collect a few things, but rings made up the majority for years. If someone had asked me for one to be an heirloom, I would have said the same thing OP did. No. My rings are things I worked hard for, something special to me. Then the DiL demands one? And not just any ring, but one of my favorites? Yeah right. No freaking way
besides that, she demanded one of the more expensive rings. If she was so keen on an heirloom any would have done. Rslash is naive if he thinks this isn't about money. OP rarely wears that ring but DiL paid enough attention that she wants that specific ring? Of course she is a gold digger but her soon to be husband is not as loaded as mommy dearest.
My aunt collects vintage glass. She offered me some of her pieces, and I accepted. I would never demand that she give me one of her favorites, no matter the expense.
That last story. Wow! The audacity of the half sister. Mom is only hoping that this will heal the breach but like come on Mom, you have to know how awful the older sister has been to the younger sister. OP has zero obligation to the older sister and her "appearance" in social circles for how OP has been treated.
i think the mom is rather stupid, if she believes that the relationship is going to be healed when the sister straight up told her that she only want OP in the wedding to avoid questions, is obvious that the sister is going to treat OP like always once the wedding is over
Last story: personally, I would have went to that wedding, aired the dirty laundry, and wished the groom a happy life with the nightmare he just married.
Cathy actually SAVED £60 bc of OP. Detangling mats costs WAY more than that. She doesn't care about the cost at all. She's mad that she didn't get the chance to humiliate the poor girl.
Story 1: Stepmom sounds like she loves to hold the power in the house and the appointment wasn’t to truly fix Aprils hair situation, but to “put her in her place” in a way and she’s more upset she didn’t get to execute that plan; hopefully James wises up and leaves Cathy. She could’ve used that appointment to have the stylist teach her how to maintain her own hair if stepmom wasn’t going to do it herself.
Final Story: The sister reminds me of a brother from a previous post. The brother arrives to op’s events late on purpose. He even showed up to her wedding when she was already walking down the aisle and sat in his seat where his wife and children were already there. He said he did because op ruined his ‘only child dream.’
I feel so bad for that poor girl. She's trapped in a cycle of abuse and her father has his head stuck so far up the stepmother's ass that he doesn't care what his daughter is going through. She may have just lost the only refuge she had. Op needs to find out if April has any family that can take her in and give her the love and support she should have been getting. And if she does, report these abusive pieces of crap. Last story: Nope, the sister can go support herself. You know what, go to the wedding, give the surprise toast of a lifetime. Tell the guests every single cruel thing that came out of her mouth. Tell them all the bad behavior. Her fiance deserves to be told exactly what he is marrying. The Sister didnt have to like Op, but she didnt have to treat her like crap for just being born.
Honestly if c had taken op to court, they would have been charged with child neglect, and op would have won. I’m glad J finally stepped up as a father. Hope things go well for them.
Story 2: you can’t DEMAND heirlooms to be given to you, because part of the appeal is that they are willingly passed down. Additionally, things people own don’t just magically become heirlooms - if OP passed down her ring, it would become one maybe after DIL herself passed it further along. Demanding something and then playing it off as “wanting an heirloom” is simply not how it works. Furthermore, how can a ring function as an engagement ring, if the proposal already happened and the son presumably already used a bought ring to propose with?
About the ring story, I myself have a hobby with jewelry, I had even started to become a certified GIA gemologist. A really good quality unincluded Emeralds is very rare and expensive, if the ring has one then that could be the most expensive ring in her collection which would explain why she doesn’t always wear it. Also taking into account that she also designed the pieces herself, which is something even I wouldn’t have considered taking classes in, each of those jewelry items are EXTREMELY PERSONAL to her because she came up with everything about them. Having someone just come up and say I want your most expensive special piece that you are to afraid to wear all the time as my engagement ring and being persistent about it is a good way to make sure that the owner will give the entire collection to her daughter and give all the cheapest costume jewelry to the DIL.
Second story. The big sister was never over that her mum met someone new. She needs therapy in my mind. Its not about the sister. Its about her emotions about the death of her dad and her mum getting a new family.
Story 3: Honestly, I'd go as far as the give the dad 1.5 AHs as well. There's no way he didn't notice how the sister was treating OP, or the way the mom did absolutely nothing to stop it from happening. Yes, the sister treated him similarly, but it's one thing to decide to deal with it as one person and a completely different thing to not stand up for someone dependent on you. OP's dad should have gotten her out of that situation.
That last story hits hard. I have an older half-sister who's 6 years older then me and we love each other so much! We just see each other as sisters, just sisters, no half or anything less. She's met her "dad" and he's definitely not a good guy. The dad we both grew up with is, and she does her best to make it clear. The neat thing about having different fathers (but same dad) is she's got a huge family, and she wants me to meet them, and they want to meet me. She's excited to share their culture with us, and has done so in the form of delicious food! I wouldn't have my older sister any other way!
2nd story: likely the missing part of the story is the exact words said during her demand, as well as the fact that the OP was already pushed so far for the wedding cost. This was likely the straw that broke the camels back
For heirloom story, how was the word “demanded” missed? Demanded can easily mean OP said no several times politely and then felt like the daughter in law only cared about her things and not HER thus OP justifiably felt like that woman only was after her property. Rslash is always like “your property your rules” yet ALWAYS changes this stance when a woman is exclusively standing up for herself. Maybe subconsciously siding with the son “sticking up for his spouse” when it’s very clear that the son doesn’t really care about OP’s feelings about HER property? Who knows, but bad take regardless 🤔
@@sourisvoleur4854Exactly. He always takes the woman’s side, even sidelining men who are clearly in the right, aside from recently. It’s like he flip flops from one side to the other. He seems to value being a good partner and parent over being a good person as well. Not inherently BAD values to have but I’d say there needs to be balance, he doesn’t have that.
She treated OP as though she was Santa. As you’ve said heirlooms are given by the owner not demanded. FDIL demanded other possessions as well but emphasized on the ring. If OP obliged I’m sure she would’ve made sure OPs daughter was left with nothing.
@@lorilancaster5917 this. Thank you. My Cousin is Like this. My mum was Like a Second mother to her and bought her lots of Things Like clothes, homewear, even Part of a kitchen over the years. Now my mum wants to sell her Restaurant and House and move away for retirement. She does Not even have a buyer yet but my Cousin asked for different Things to "inherit" Like all the gardegear, some furinture (that belonged to my mums grandpa) and also some jewelery my mume wore that she remembered "dearly" From when she was a Kid. My mum, sis and I were more than appaled when she Said that because it sounded Like a grocery list she Had written
I feel like the most wild part of the story is that it wasn’t even an heirloom, the FDIL stated it as one. OP only called it an heirloom in quotation marks in the title, it wasn’t even meant to be one in the first place - the FDIL is just nuts.
Last story: as mean as this is, I think OP should go to their half sister’s wedding and when people walk up to her and ask where she’s been just tell them that her step sister never wanted OP in her life and she’s only here to make the wedding look better or something
That step monster in story one isn't upset about "losing money" she's upset that the op solved the problem she and her husband caused, thus making her look bad, AND robbing her of the opportunity to humiliate a teenage girl she clearly dislikes.
Sounds like she was using it as excuse to get the girl's hair cut. Maybe didn't want any of the responsibility in helping to maintain long hair. Not someone that wants to be a parent, let alone a good parent.
She’s definitely not upset over the money, I 100% agree with you there. She only paid 60 instead of 120, if anything she saved money for the price of the kid getting to keep her hair’s length. She’s got ulterior motive for sure.
Story 2: if my DIL came to me DEMANDING things instead of ASKING, like a decent person, I'd also be inclined to give them a harsh "NO". Therefore, NTA.
For the heirloom story, this is actually very-likely to be based around Egypt. The currency is called the Egyptian pound and we give gold as marriage gifts as well.
"This is my mom, and that's her f-buddy" Personal reaction: "Girl, allow me to introduce you to the following phrases: 1) actions have consequences 2) them's fightin words 3) it was at that point, she realized, she effed up"
For 1st story, hair stylists are Mandatory reporters and matting to that extent constitutes a report. They'd be getting a wellness check from cps within a week for the neglect sh*t
*First OP:* Question: Why couldn't Cathy have the hairdresser rectangle April's hair instead of cutting it off? I have an idea why (wicked stepmother ish), but still. OP is NTA. *First OP UPDATE:* At least James finally got a wake-up call. I hope the reason Cathy's collecting her stuff is because James dumped her. Good for OP for forwarding the screenshots to James. *Second OP:* "I ain't sayin' she a gold-digger..." But OP's FDIL sounded _quite_ entitled. Also, owning is not the same as borrowing. OP is NTA. I also felt like OP left out some details. *Third OP:* Assuming this isn't rage bait, OP's half "sister" got her karma. OP is NTA; she just matched that person's energy.
Last story - I feel for OP because I've gone through this/going through this. My Grandma's first child was my father from an assumed summer affair. It was 1948 so of course, everything was hush hush. I will never know that part of my family because my Grandma took that knowledge to the grave. Grandma met and married a man two years later and had three more children. My father and his sister were bonded at the hip, but the brothers never got along and these two younger brothers even told him he wasn't a "real" brother. My father left at 17, met my mother (another disaster of a story) had me, and unfortunately died at age 21. I was three at the time. All the above was told to me by my aunt (father's sister). The uncles never truly saw me as a nephew. When I was in my early 20s they even said to my face I wasn't "pure" blood and not really part of the family. Fast forward to now, I'm 57 and these two uncles have made it their mission to "prove" that my mother lied and my father was not even my father. I can't figure out why, there's no inheirtance that I could collect. My Grandma passed away with just enough monty to bury her. It has to be just pure evil hatred for my father and by proxy me to put such animosity in their hearts. Oh weil, if that's how they want to live their lives, so be it.
story 2, to demand a ring as an "heirloom" instantly stops it from being an heirloom. heirlooms are gifted, with meaning. loving something, slowly building a collection, and then someone coming in and saying "give this to me because i'm marrying your son". that's entitled and gross
Story 1: NTA. So let me get this straight, C would rather pay more money to cut A’s hair rather than simply brushing it out? That tells me this is a power move. C wants to hurt A to “assert dominance” as they’re both the only women in the house (I believe). Incredibly pathetic that the “father” isn’t doing anything to take care of his daughter and protect her from this witch. It’s so pathetic for someone’s bf/gf trying to force themselves into the parent role. Update: Sounds like J isn’t an evil parent but more so, stupid and blind. Looks like he’s shaping up and trying to improve. I hope he kicks his gf to the curb. I’m so happy A is getting the help she needs and deserves.
Story 2: the point of an heirloom gift is that it is to be passed down the family through generations. To give something so valuable (and many pieces of jewellery out there are worth well over the cost of some of the most expensive houses in the world) as a future heirloom, to someone who isn't even yet contractually bound to the family in any way, is absolutely unhinged in my opinion. Sure, she _may_ not be a gold digger, but the fact that she had already been given SO much in gold, cash, and sundry, AND she was apparently _DEMANDING_ a specific ring that her mother in law to be *still wore* sometimes ("the least"=/="never") and clearly cherishes sure looks bad. The simple matter of fact is that she has no claim to a heirloom in any way shall or form, UNLESS she and her husband (actually related to OP) have a child. That's the point of an heirloom. AND it is too be passed down according to the family tradition, not when any old potential future recipient decided they want it. No tradition? Then it's up to the OWNER of the item. I.e. OP to decide how this is going to go. This is like if some dude your daughter feel in love with, after proposing and exchanging proposal gifts, went up to you and said "hey dude, I was wondering if I could have your one of a kind DBZ statue signed by all the Japanese voice actors. I know you don't look at it as much as you used to and If put it up right on my headboard so I can look at it every day." And when you look at him like he has the heads, he not only doubles down, he starts demanding your property. I mean you know it will appreciate in value over time and although you hadn't fully decided to pass it on quite yet, it does seem like the best thing to do eventually, but it's yours goddamnit! He already got to marry your daughter, is that not good enough for him? I hope this gets through. I saw this as a textbook r/entitledpeople post, mislabeled under r/aita.
Do you understand you only get one side of the story? It does seem strange that she "demands" the ring when asking nicely will more likely work. Watch a judge show on tv like Judge Judy, and you will notice that one side's story is very different from the other. I am sure the DIL will have a totally different version. R/ picked up her story seems off.
That horrendous excuse of a half sister in the last story made her bed of nails, now she can lay on it for the rest of her life. The OP is far, FAR better off without her.
I think the only reason that the sister in story 3 wants op in the wedding is because she is afraid that her fiancee and family are going to notice what a horrible person she is, how much of psycho she was to her little sister growing up. I mean is a major red flag!! I would run!
Have wonder how many lies the sister told to her fiance and in-laws about her half-sister? "We get along great, but she is too busy to meet you." "It was so difficult taking care of her when we were younger." Etc...
If the sister didn’t bother hiding her animosity from her mother and grandmother I doubt she would have hidden it from her fiancé. His family however are probably the ones she wants to keep in the dark.
The thing about emeralds is that they fade and discolor in the sun. If she wanted the ring as an engagement ring, it stands to reason that she'll be wearing it constantly- meaning she'll destroy the ring within a decade.
First story: Everyone needs 0.1/5 Butt-Holes for not thinking to teach April how to look after her own hair. 13 is quite old enough to be able to lean that and she will need the skills eventually. April won't always have someone instantly at hand to brush her hair for her and she can't go through life with permanently tangled hair.
13:18 Yes, you are off the mark, specifically by getting lost in the weeds about possible cultural differences while the relevant part of the story is that this woman came to OP's house basically to demand a gift. Gifts are offered, not demanded. A demanded gift is tribute.
I’m sure the daughter still could have used a salon wash and trim. There’s zero reason to even cancel the appointment. I hope the mom calls CPS. That is neglect
My stepsister treated me exactly the same. She was popular, I was a social outcast, and no its not as fun as Lizzy McGuire. She invited me and my sister to her wedding to pretend we were good family. Me and my real sister happily ate up her open bar tab together.
Story 1: I myself have long hair that naturally curls making it often hard to comb after washing. It really is shocking that instead of taking a few minutes to embrace her hair and style it, she immediately chose to go bald. NTA
The first story really hits home. I came from a family with 6 kids. My hair was long and THICK. People in my life made comments about how *I* needed to take better care of it, but the thing is I don’t remember anyone sitting down and showing me. I remember my sister would painfully brush my hair sometimes. It was torture. That’s the only “help” I remember. Years later my younger sister had super long curly hair my mom refused to cut because “it’s so long and pretty!” I would put on a movie for us, break out the brush and conditioner, and spend the whole movie brushing her hair for her.
Story 2: FDIL did NOT ask for OP's ring, she DEMANDED it! If be offended if someone like that demanded something personal and meaningful of mine ESPECIALLY if it's ON TOP of me gifting them wedding costs AND £6,000 of GOLD. Seriously?!
Honestly the petty side of me for that last story would go to the wedding just to tell everyone about how “great” of a half sister she was all with a big grin on her face. She made her bed and she can lie in it for all I care, and people deserve to know what kind of a person she is.
Story 1: While I'm glad the dad is going to get better, he still let this happen to the point if it wasn't for you and that girl standing up for herself he wouldn't have found out until she came home with her hair cut. Also I think everyone's giving this lady too much credit, if she really only cared about that girl's looks she wouldn't have let her hair gotten that bad or get mad when it was fixed instead of cutting it. She just flat-out didn't want to take care of that child and was going to take every lazy option cheat code when it came to doing anything for her. The only acceptable outcome after all this is the dad dumping her ass, don't work out don't try to change her this is an automatic deal breaker because even if there is a chance you will change for the better, you do not gamble with your child safety like that.
Story 1: it was less about the money. The step mother wanted to take a chance to humiliate her step daughter. She could have it dematted but instead was taking the chance to have a 13 year old girl get rid of all her hair.
Story 1 I have a strong feeling that evil Kathy let April's hair get so bad on purpose so that way Kathy could give April a bad hair cut because she is jealous of her stepdaughter and wants to make her stepdaughter look bad. April's Dad needs to divorce his evil wife.
Story 2: as another commenter mentioned, the future DIL was DEMANDING the ring, and trying to devalue it. Honestly, OP gets an easy 0/5 buttholes, because it’s her stuff; she can do what she wants with it. The DIL gets 2/5 buttholes for the sheer entitlement and audacity, and the son (while backing up his wife is admirable, it doesn’t fit with this situation) gets 1/5 buttholes. Regardless of how you rank it, I’m gonna stick by my opinion on this one: the OP is not in the wrong at all, even for her “escalation.”
For that 1st story. My mother once made me get my hair cut, basically a buzz cut, because she was convinced that it was the reason I was struggling to find a job during covid. I have very thick hair that originally grew as an afro until I finally got it straightened & I loved it. It was hard to manage & going to a salon is expensive for me but I still loved my hair. I still remember vividly that day as I tried & failed to hold back my tears as I felt all my hair get buzzed away. So much so that even now I still feel a rush of anxiety whenever I hear one of those electric razors & I feel an instinctive need to protect my hair. I value my hair & I'm sure many other people do & just saying "oh itll grow back" doesn't take away from that horrible feeling of having something you value taken from you. So yeah props to that mom for sparing that girl from a possible similar experience.
Story 1: I had the same problem as April when I was 13. I had brain surgery and it made it really painful to try and brush my hair. So it got tangled and matted. There were several people in the community who would help me with it. OP is absolutely not the butthole
In the final story I wanted to deck that sorry excuse for a half-sister in the face, I myself have an older half sister and a younger sister and as much as we take jabs at each other and I bemoan being the middle child I wouldn’t change this for the world. And now, after everything she said to a 10 year-old she wants OP in her wedding to save face… yeah the grandmother was right when she said the half-sister would regret saying what she did when OP lost her brother.
Story 3: OP needs to schedule an outing, preferably out of town, with or without her dad and/or her friends AND make it publicly known that she's going on this cool outing...that just so happens to fall on the same day. Oops 😂
I feel like rslash's reading comprehension skills have just fallen off a cliff. He's had some bad takes in the past, but I feel like, in the last few months, he's been assigning scores and not actually paying attention to the story. I am specifically referencing story 2, in this case. Someone comes into OP's home and starts making demands for valuable items and, according to rslash, OP is the one that caused a real problem. @rslash; do you live under a rock, mate?
OP was the one who said the DIL demanded the ring. Yet, considering OPs behaviour, the DIL might just have asked. It is quite possible that OP genuinely doesn't like her DIL. Especially if there is a cultural difference.
Oh man for the last story, ngl, hoping to see an update of, “r/AITA for ruining my half sister’s wedding by exposing her?” And just as petty revenge she’s telling the guests all about what her half sister said to her when she was younger.
Seriously, Dabney, you're missing things here if you think 'there's nothing greedy about demanding a specific ring from your potential mother in law to use as your wedding ring'. On the most basic level, the thing that makes an item an 'heirloom' is that it's passed down to one's HEIRs. You know, 'a person legally entitled to the property or rank of another on that person's death.' As it is, an heirloom ring is one passed down from generation to generation, you can't demand your future mother in law to START a tradition by giving you something you think is shiny.
The biggest red flag that James ignored when dating Cathy is that she was deleting messages from his phone without him seeing them. She doesn't get to decide what is and isn't important to him. I wonder how many of April's messages were deleted by Cathy, which led to the distancing between them.
Story 2: heirlooms are something passed by the owner not asked for by the receiver. It's special if someone wants you to inherit something saying your family. Asking for it isn't wrong, but it loses the whole meaning of an heirloom in the process With that said, I agree with Rslash, this seems bigger than the ring.
How convenient for OP's half-sister in the third story to want her for the wedding when before that she wanted nothing to do with OP for her entire life! Well, she got her wish, she can't complain about not getting what she wanted!
You're missing two things in story 2. First is she's demanding it. Second is " on top of the other wedding gifts we discussed." She's being greedy and entitled. It's possible the op in the story is picking words to make her sound worse, but i strongly doubt its the case in this story.
@@It-is-me...Melsie it is a form of neglect and yes action would be taken. I know someone who had CPS called on them for this exact reason and action was taken
@@kaylafuller8948 For messy hair! I'm sure you're also aware of incidents where no action at all was taken when people have been reported for far more severe infractions than parents not doing their child's hair.
As a side note, enjoying brushing your daughter's hair depends on their hair type, lol. I have always had very tangley hair and if anybody came at me with a brush when I was little I would run and hide
![[FULL STORY] What’s the most entitled thing you’ve ever seen someone do?](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/N4DADAjt-Nc/mqdefault.jpg)
![Blox Fruits Dragon Rework Update [Full Stream]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/EqDAp8udhm0/mqdefault.jpg)
Story 1: You missed the obvious faulty logic as well. The step-mom was going to pay £120 to have the hair cut, but because the hair was detangled, she ended up only paying £60. So she *saved* £60. She should be thanking the stepdaughters friends mom.
Wrong she didn't save the stepmom anything, she prevented the stepmom from asserting 'authority' over the girl. That 'authority' is worth £120 to the stepmom.
@@vinaypatel8578Monke Karen must
A S S E R T D O M I N A N C E
I sorta feel good that J kinda realizes that C is a horrible person to his daughter, I pray they ditch her before she does something stupid
@@vinaypatel8578let’s call it what it really is. Abuse. Let’s also call C for what she really was and not stepmom. Actually let’s not sense I might can get in trouble with RUclips guidelines.
@@vinaypatel8578exactly! I was gonna say that!
In the 2nd story, the fact that it sounds like the daughter in law was demanding, not asking, for the ring on top of already receiving thousands of dollars of gold makes me believe this girl is an entitled brat and the op's reaction was justified
Lol yup, if someone were to demand something from me I’m such a way I’d be instantly offended and angry too. I don’t think there’s any missing story here, rSlash is just jaded from reading too many Reddit stories lol
Absolutely.
Slashy clearly has no clue how expensive emeralds are!
@@JosieJOKyeah. He said it’s like she asked for your house. No she demanded a 6k piece of jewelry
He literally read the word "demanded", and then ignored it. Asking: why the escalation? And coming up with his weird theory.
Story 2: The daughter-in-law was demanding the ring not asking, not sure how rSlash thinks someone demanding someone's expansive possession be handed over isn't a reason to get angry. Also an heirloom is for someone to give not someone to demand, it would also make more sense for these type of heirlooms to go to OP's daughter first and not the daughter-in-law.
Because the escalation doesn't make any sense, it definitely feels like shes down playing her role in this issue and that prob why the son is mad at her - Plus how is it an heirloom if OP just bought it or made it? My mom used to Gaslight me like this an then flip the script when things got heated
How do you know that she "demanded" other than OP said she did. People exaggerate all the time. My guess is DIL just asked.
@@dudeorduuude5211 This is also making an assumption of an unreliable narrator. Honestly asking for someone's expensive stuff is also very rude, so even if she just asked bit of a weird thing to do.
@@OrgBobaFret The daughter-in-law called it an heirloom not OP. Some people do in fact get angry when asked/demanded to hand over an expensive item especially by a person who from the sounds of it is already giving plenty like 6,000 British pounds worth of gold.
@@OrgBobaFrethow is demanding something worth 10s of thousands of dollars when you’ve already been given thousands not warrant escalation lol
Story 2: borrowing is not the same thing as giving it away, tell your son he should already know You're not spineless. It's not family heirloom that she's entitled to, it's your property that you are not going to just give to her because she somehow convinced herself your stuff is her's. Even if it was a family heirloom when's your daughter be the one that get it now someone who hasn't even said I do yet?
I hope OP has a locked box or somewhere safe to keep her rings. I wouldn’t be surprised if FDIL felt like she can take OPs house from son and help herself.
@@lorilancaster5917 I was thinking the same thing. Safe deposit box, and rotate them in and out, and a secret place at home, too.
I don’t understand your last sentence
@@mattybrunolucaszeneresalas9072 I think they mean OP has daughters. So wouldn't the daughters get priority for the 'heirloom' ring instead of a daughter in law.
@@nymeroe ah
The girlfriend, Cathy, in the first story, is the example of evil step mother. They didn't have to cancel the haircut appointment, she could have easily still taken April in to get her hair trimmed and styled, especially after being knotted for months. It would have been a great opportunity for the 2 to bond, with a fun trip to the salon. But instead the psycho GF went on a rampage over 60 pounds!! Such bizarre behavior.
Another thing I don’t understand/misunderstand is why she is mad over the 60 bucks. The cancellation fee is half the cost of the cut… so didn’t OP save her 60 bucks and a trip to the salon?
She also only had to pay 60 pounds because she canceled instead of 120 pounds. Also is that normal? 120 pounds for a haircut sounds ridiculous, it should cost no more than 15 pounds.
@@AilleasMeh, not meaning to split hairs (haha), but it's pounds. But tbh it changes nothing
She feels threatened in her attempt to totally control the family. 🤨
@@PunakiviAddiktiwhen a client has matted hair, it will cost more as they still arent just cutting the hair. there will be some matts that need detangled. so thats why it costs more than a regular cut.
No, no, no for the "heirloom story": heirlooms are not "to be handed down before the person dies". That is not the definition of "heirloom". The definition is a piece that is traditionally handed down in the family. OP bought this ring. She has the right to say if it is an heirloom or not. The fact that the fiance asked if she could have it is not the problem. The fact that the fiance is not happy that she cannot have it is unfortunate, but still not the problem, though it begins to be because she would not leave it alone. The fact that the fiance put ANY KIND OF FURTHER PRESSURE ON OP IS the problem. And then, if you please, she goes to the groom to put EVEN MORE pressure on OP? YES!Yes the fiance IS "picking over the estate before OP is dead!". I don't care how much OP has given over for the wedding, (though, even worse because it sounds as though she has given over a lot!), that is OP's ring. She can (and cannot) give it over to whomever she likes! Sorry, Dabney, I think this is quite straightforward, actually. Though, I do understand how the escalation could make it seem dodgy...
Also, the polite way would have been to ask if she'd be willing to let her have any of the rings as her engagement ring, not selecting a particular one and demanding it.
for real, also I have rarely seen heirlooms go to in laws. It would make 100% more sense if it were given to a potential grandchild.
The way it escalated tells me that DiL has been acting entitled throughout the entire engagement and wedding planning, and OP simply had enough when DiL crossed a line into demanding something personal from OP.
@@weloveaplateofeggs it happens but not until they have been a part of the family for years or if the son came to the mom and asked for it then gave it but not this way
So…the daughter in law would be more than happy to pass the ring down to her future daughter or daughter in law? Yeah right. She just wants it for herself. If she wants to start an heirloom she can pick one out herself and pass it down. Pretty impolite to specifically ask to make an item an heirloom so she can have it. My mother in law actually gave me her first wedding ring last Christmas which surprised me and I love it. So I’ll probably make it an heirloom somehow. But I have four daughters so…😬😆
This is the first time I outright disagree with rSlash's opinion. She came into her future MIL's home ( Not even married yet! ) and DEMANDED the ring as a gift, not asked, and on top of that wanted gold as well?? Screw her
And to an elder who will be your MIL. That's total greedy cow behavior.
Tbh a lot of his recent AITA videos I've disagreed with at least one of his AH ratings
@@crashawashere Yeah, I still love his videos tho because some of his reactions are great
@@nikispade1350 honestly, they are great but I think it's always the worst ones that dabney has the wrong opinion about 🤔 like he has the right reasons but the wrong response
Dabney is an !diot. A lot of his takes are absolutely bananas.
I’m half Indian, and I don’t know if this is a family thing or a cultural thing, but my family consider it rude to openly ask for something of high monetary value - or openly asking for something that might inconvenience someone. If they’re given something of value that they want or need, they’re expected to make a big show out of saying no before they accept it. I know it was jarring for my dad. When they said “NOOO we can’t possibly ask for your help on this”, he’d ask them if they were sure, then shrug his shoulders. “Okay”. Cue my grandparents’ shocked pikachu face.
If story 2’s family is anything like mine, it’s considered to be pretty brazen and disrespectful to just come out and ask for something rather than hinting at it or asking through her husband to be.
P.S. I find this pretty annoying and stupid, too. Don’t come at me. I’m just providing context.
I don't think that particular mindset is a family/cultural thing. I think most people would be put off by someone else demanding an expensive and prized possession with the amount of entitlement that the DIL is showing OP.
It sounded more like Demanding, not asking (id say there is a difference)
...and whilst i cant be sure if this is a Danish thing, or an Aspergers thing, the sheer arrogance of demanding things like that is a red flag to me personally (and a bit of a berserk button)
yeah it’s not really a culture thing and more of a basic human decency thing
@@awesomesauce4078 my family take it to the EXTREME. Like, it looks like a bad telenovela when someone gets money in a card
I’m Indian and I grew up in the USA and my mom has the same habit of gathering expensive clothes and jewelry. I pretty sure it’s rude regardless of culture to demand for someone’s stuff of the bat. It makes the person who’s asking for it seem entitled to the other person’s stuff.
Story 3: It sounds like the half-sister has some resentment issues towards the new dad for basically taking the place of her own dad, and it escalated into straight up hatred for OP as well for just existing.
And then she randomly turns around and wants OP to come to the wedding to "look better," whatever that means. The Mariana Trench sized audacity of this witch. Sounds like she'll just go back to bullying afterwards.
She needs therapy, and the mom needs therapy
I thought this, too. It sounds like the mom didn't try and do anything to help, neither the sister nor OP. Like the little girl was what between 9 and 12 when her dad died and mom got remarried? Then she goes straight into hating the sister. This could be a case of the mom not giving the sister attention to focus on her new husband and then kind of replacing her with OP, so now she has a new family. But not doing anything to help the OP when things got bad with the bullying to the point where she wishes someone dead.
All this to say, her behavior isn't acceptable, and she needs therapy, but you can kind of see where she may struggle and understand why OP wants nothing to do with her. The worst asshole is the parents but MOSTLY the mom.
The "Look Better" comment is basically, it's all about the appearance of the half-sister. People noticed that the two "sisters" weren't in the same room or were never around at the time and started to ask questions. But the half-sister couldn't come out and tell them the truth, so to "Save Face" as the saying goes, she needed her half-sister there to make her look like the better old sister, not this outright hateful sister.
From the sounds of it, the mom and step-dad just put up with it all OP's life. Like when the half-sister calls him the fuck-buddy he just smiles and says "LOL, you've got _my_ number!" (or something) and that's really not okay. Though, the mom is _more_ at fault, because obviously the half-sister would never listen to someone who "wasn't her _real_ dad."
I think the only responses to OP's mom and half-sister feeling upset are along the lines of "cry about it" "you made the bed and lay in it" "new phone who dis" like you don't just dis your half-sibling for years and expect them to suddenly forgive you, like she made it clear as crystal that she doesn't love OP and now she has the gull to be upset that OP doesn't love her either after years of hatred, I've said before "the opposite of love isn't hate, it's indifference" but this bastard showed nothing but hatred towards OP because... I don't know why
I personally think OP’s Half Sister believed OP would happily accept the offer. After all, when they were kids, OP seemed to worship the ground she walked on, and because her half sister cared so little for OP, she didn’t even notice that OP had grown to hate her. She probably assumed that OP still wanted a relationship and that her attempts to avoid OP were working. So, she thought that if she asked OP to come to the wedding, asking her in-person no less, OP would happily come. But since OP made it clear that ship sailed and that her half sister is pretty much dead to her, she couldn’t comprehend it. Honestly, it sounds like she may have been a bit spoiled, especially if their mother never stopped OP’s Half Sister. Hell, the fact that the mom got excited at the invite seems to imply to me even she never realized how bad things were.
the heirloom story: op is NTA. daughter in law gets 3/5 buttholes. op said no and DIL didn't want to take no for an answer. it's after she insisted that she get the ring that op, understandably, got pissed off hence the "picking through my estate before I'm even dead" remark. I'd be mad too if someone didn't respect my answer and tried to coerce me into giving up expensive jewelry. Also if the son wants his fiance to have an expensive ring: THEN YOU BUY IT!! THEN YOU BUY HER A SAPPHIRE RING!!!
Right how did r/slash miss a chance to go on a "then you do it" rant on the son. How he was so off the mark on this story I'll never understand. She asked was given an answer and kept demanding after. Never mind the fact that there was an actual daughter to concider aswell. She was in the wrong and OP responded appropriately.
Just another story were Rslash here's 'daughter' in any context and immediately makes up his mind
Dabny has a history of if its not a horrendous toxic post, then if a family member wants something then guve it to them, no matter what.
I'd be stunned that my kid's fiancee even had the nerve to ask such a thing! You're barely engaged and you're demanding a very expensive gift from my personal jewelry collection? WTH? Seems like a huge red flag to me.
@@TheBoboTheIceMan No, no he doesn't. And he never said the DIL was right either. He stated several times that he felt something was left out by the OP that would make her say such horrible things to a previously "great girl for my son". Granted, what the DIL did wasn't ok by a long shot, but to reply back this viciously is really odd. Remember, we're only hearing one side of this too.
In the ring story, OP didn't overreact. Sounds like she said no and the GF kept arguing about why OP needed to give her the ring and that's when OP escalated.
You have to have major audacity to be watching how often someone wears a ring and then ask for. And then not take no for an answer.
Story 2: OP mentioned they already discuessed wedding gifts, finances and even gold prior to daughter in law asking for the ring, so I see how that question felt like "Aren't we giving enough already?! Now you want my ring to?!"
Heirlooms are items lovingly passed down the generations, not something artifically created on the spot because someone is like "I want an hairloom"
Story 3 : "The people who abused me think i'm in the wrong, am i?" What disgusting excuses for family, op disserves way better.
1st story : April isn't even Karen/Kathy's s daughter!!! Shes just the girlfriend. 😡 the dad and the gf both suck for not even TRYING or just doing the basic maintenance of April's hair
Which is something you would think J would’ve tried to learn the moment the doctor said, “it’s a girl!”
My guts say Cathy hates April for being the child of the guy she is with, why else would she bully a young teen girl
@@juliaboskamp9666Definitely!
I think she's jealous of her in more than one way, thats probably why she wanted to cut her hair really short so she wouldn't be as pretty, otherwise she cld of still taken her to get it trimmed
I want to give J the benefit of the doubt here considering he went out of his way to know what was going on between OP, April and Cathy and immediately stepped up and turned things around once he knew the truth. I think he was merely neglectful of April's situation, likely from trying to make things work with Cathy. Who was at best also purposefully neglectful towards April and at worst gaslighting J into being even worse. He still deserved the 2/5 AH score for his negligence, but people in the comments seem to be going a little too harsh on the guy.
@@CouchSpud91You know, I'm not really sure. I think James is still going to date Karen, just with some distance. I wonder if he really did learn to put his daughter first, or just trying to do damage control. There was a line in the update that Rslash didn't read - Op said she texted the screenshots to James' WORK phone, and then clarified that James gave her the work number to communicate with him because since they started dating **Karen would screen and delete his messages before he could see them** .
That is a MASSIVE red flag, especially so early on, but he not only ignored it but he created a work around in order to placate karen. Presumably, his fear of a cold bed wa ls stronger than the red of her flags. This was just another of the long list of red flags she's already hoisted, and none of the others deterred him. I don't think this one will either. I get the impression this is just to save face around friends and family, and that Karen will be "working on herself during their time 'apart' so that she can be a great stepmother when they marry".
I actually really want to see how a judge reacts to the step-mom's NEGLECT of Cathy in story one should they sue
it would be SO satisfying to see the case dismissed and the UK equivalent of CPS to get involved as a result of that lawsuit
Cathy is the girlfriend, April is the one that was neglected
Everyone's forgetting that she's not even a stepmother yet. She's still the dads girlfriend. So this makes the whole thing even more disgusting in my eyes.
I could use a good laugh. That ought to be a good one.
I don't think Rslash read the second story because i feel like he's trying to blame op for this situation. op said that the woman DEMANDED the ring, not asked. You don't demand a ring you down own, and the woman even got all huffy when she didn't get her way. I'd get mad too if some person demanded your stuff.
Just coming to say this. Like she didn't just ask politely and drop the topic when told no. She freaking doubles down and has a Veruca Salt sized tantrum. She is marking OP's items as heirlooms when they have never been established as such. They are first gen items that still belong to a healthy person who is of no mind to sell or give away any of their pieces. Why wouldn't OP get defensive and think she's cherry-picking through her belongings prematurely? I mean have one of your family members waltz ass into your house, have them announce that they like *insert item important to you,* and they want it now because they deciding it's an heirloom and are calling dibs Tell me you wouldn't feel some kind of way.
For story 2...DIL DEMANDED that OP gives her the ring on top of 6K in other gifts/gold! DIL was being ungreatful and kinda "picking through OP's estate before she died"
Story 4: Your half sister told you she wish your mom got an abortion, she does not get to tell you you're wrong for not helping her look good. But your mom is worse for trying to sweep years of resentment under the rug so she can have that picture perfect happy family, that dream died because of the child that was ruthlessly mean to you. Tell your mom and your half-sister you are not a tool to be used when they need you, and if they want you to come to the wedding tell her to go back in time and he raised all those years of abuse.
Pretty much how i felt. Both half-sister and mom want to ignore everything that happened to have a veneer of picture perfect family before half-sister's big day. Never trust people who are only concerned with their image and how they look in other people's eyes, they rarely care for the people around them beyond the veneer.
I also think OP’s dad deserves a butthole score, not as much as the mom, more like 1.5. It sounds like he also never stuck up for OP and simply let everything slide just to keep the peace with his wife. Grow a spine and protect YOUR child!
As someone who's parents just stopped acknowledging me as a person, that first story just makes my blood boil. I used to hide bruises and stuff my family used to give me because my mom yelled at me about how reporting her to CPS would break up the family. I should've tried harder to do exactly that.
Story 3: The fact she bullied OP for her whole life and made it clear she wants OP dead, and she just invites her to the wedding and expects her to just comply and cave? No way! This evil girl played herself, she doesn't want her in her life, and she got her wish! She is the one in the wrong for being an AH to her half-sister. The mom is in the wrong for not stopping the bullying too. NTA.
And not just for bullying OP. She insulted OPs dad. Why did he even subject himself and OP to this? They deserved better!
Not to mention the grandmother warned the elder half sister that it will bite her back and it did. OP's NTA. OP's keeping to her elder sister's wish in staying out of her life.
@@lorilancaster5917 And yet, they expect them to accommodate her, this girl induces so much toxic energy even an actual toxic Karen will be breaking into a cold sweat.
I can't even imagine allowing this to go on in my home. My oldest daughter is from a previous marriage and then I have two younger than her from my second marriage. They are all super close to each other. I don't even think they ever even referred to themselves as half siblings to anyone else ever! They are brothers and sisters. I think the oldest sister deserves higher than just a 3 on the a-hole scoreboard!
Also what did they expect her to do at the wedding? When people come up and ask OP questions, and she's like the truth is half sister is a heartless b-word and wants me dead so we don't speak.
Story 3 : OP is clearly taking the high road here. Many others would have taken the opportunity to go to the wedding and turn her reputation to a shred by just telling the truth to everyone.
I also have to wonder how much the fiancé knows about everything? She never bothered to hide the true extent of her venomosity towards Op and her stepfather to other family members so I doubt she would hide it from her future husband. If he is aware of it all, why would you want to spend your life with someone like that? Either way, I sincerely hope she/they never have children.
I mean, the view might be better from the high road but there is satisfaction to be gained from traveling the scenic route on the ground as well.
Story 2: RSlash does not get this OP for a couple reasons. One, she’s a woman who had to work on her own jewelry collection. Men just don’t get it. Two, heirlooms are handed down from one generation to another. As in OP should be the one to dictate that, NOT the DiL. My mother has told my sister that she can use our grandmother’s engagement ring for one of her sons if he wants to do an heirloom engagement ring. My mother said this because our grandmother is dead. It is literally an heirloom.
Her gender has nothing to do with this. I'm sorry but assuming someone is a gold digger for asking is stupid as shit. Yes, the DIL is demanding but OP was quick to say, "OH you want to pick through my things?" ESH for me.
@@KazeShikamaru She DEMANDED the Ring along WITH THE EXPENSES OF THEIR WEDDING AND WEDDING PRESENTS, what on gods green earth gives her the right to demand an expensiv ring when her future in laws alrady pay for an expensiv wedding (wich mind you they don't have to pay, so are probally paying as their on decicion) AND STILL pay for wedding gifts.
Thats like demanding the ring on top of a Car and an Apartmant and is just absolutely entitled
@@KazeShikamaru I agree. Demanding is an extremely interesting word to use, but I’m also really curious to see what the fiancés side is.
@@eyeruscat9439 I do believe there is more to this. OP isn't telling the full story.
@@leonkaufmann9776 Where does OP get off assuming she is just after her money? I'm not excusing her demanding but OP jumped the gun too.
Story 1: Bro, that is one heck of a childish tantrum from C. Sorry, C, you took too long to take care of the problem, and your own solution wasn't okay either, so too bad, you lose £60.
And then comes the update, wow C is even worse! Even A's dad didn't want the hair cut! Hope J gets better as a dad
Yes please! Glad he came to his senses, even if it took OP to help him, before he did something horrible like marry that crazy woman!
Not to mention she was going through J's phone, effectively trying to control everything. She's trash.
Sounds like she didn't care until April's disheveled and ratty appearance started to make her look neglectful. Then because she is in fact neglectful, she just wanted to force the quickest solution. Now she only cares that she looks bad rather than the "hero" for "fixing" April's hair with her own money.
Best thing on this channel is Rslash not being able to go a single episode without reminding us all that he's a 10/10 dad just by the way he talks about his daughter.
Story 2
I’m on the OP’s side 100% she said that they already paid a LOT and if I paid a lot and than the SIL was like: You have to give me the ring too I would be pissed too. Be grateful for the generous help ffs
And I heard this story on XO. OP had provided an edit which she said she paid for the 2 karat engagement ring son provided to fiancé.
Story 2, I'm a collector, but mine is more typical, I collect and display figures of my interests, I can totally understand OPs point of view, she likes to collect and wear rings, it is majorly disrespectful to ask a collector for an item of their collection, it's for our joy, not someone's "welcome gift" huge red flag
So true. If someone wanted something from my collection, in op's case DEMANDED, there will be hell.
Right? I collect a few things, but rings made up the majority for years. If someone had asked me for one to be an heirloom, I would have said the same thing OP did. No. My rings are things I worked hard for, something special to me. Then the DiL demands one? And not just any ring, but one of my favorites? Yeah right. No freaking way
besides that, she demanded one of the more expensive rings. If she was so keen on an heirloom any would have done. Rslash is naive if he thinks this isn't about money. OP rarely wears that ring but DiL paid enough attention that she wants that specific ring? Of course she is a gold digger but her soon to be husband is not as loaded as mommy dearest.
My aunt collects vintage glass. She offered me some of her pieces, and I accepted. I would never demand that she give me one of her favorites, no matter the expense.
That last story. Wow! The audacity of the half sister. Mom is only hoping that this will heal the breach but like come on Mom, you have to know how awful the older sister has been to the younger sister. OP has zero obligation to the older sister and her "appearance" in social circles for how OP has been treated.
i think the mom is rather stupid, if she believes that the relationship is going to be healed when the sister straight up told her that she only want OP in the wedding to avoid questions, is obvious that the sister is going to treat OP like always once the wedding is over
Trying to heal that breach would be like trying to level the Grand Canyon. Way too much effort for way too negative a reward.
I love the sentence where Kathy says "It's YOUR FAULT that she doesn't need a hair cut anymore!"
Last story: personally, I would have went to that wedding, aired the dirty laundry, and wished the groom a happy life with the nightmare he just married.
I don't think Cathy is the stepmom. It sounds like she is still only the dad's girlfriend. Maybe OP should talk to the dad one-on-one.
Yeah, C’s only the dad’s girlfriend, not a stepmom
And OP did eventually talked to the dad one on one in the update
@BeatlesPlotagonShow Yes, he got to that part just as I posted my comment. Lol. Next time, I should wait until the story is finished.
@@anndownsouth5070LOL I do this all the time, I post my thoughts too fast before listening through
Cathy actually SAVED £60 bc of OP. Detangling mats costs WAY more than that. She doesn't care about the cost at all. She's mad that she didn't get the chance to humiliate the poor girl.
Story 1: Stepmom sounds like she loves to hold the power in the house and the appointment wasn’t to truly fix Aprils hair situation, but to “put her in her place” in a way and she’s more upset she didn’t get to execute that plan; hopefully James wises up and leaves Cathy. She could’ve used that appointment to have the stylist teach her how to maintain her own hair if stepmom wasn’t going to do it herself.
Final Story: The sister reminds me of a brother from a previous post. The brother arrives to op’s events late on purpose. He even showed up to her wedding when she was already walking down the aisle and sat in his seat where his wife and children were already there. He said he did because op ruined his ‘only child dream.’
IKR? Sheesh some people are just way too entitled to always have to be the center of attention in their blood families.
I feel so bad for that poor girl.
She's trapped in a cycle of abuse and her father has his head stuck so far up the stepmother's ass that he doesn't care what his daughter is going through.
She may have just lost the only refuge she had. Op needs to find out if April has any family that can take her in and give her the love and support she should have been getting. And if she does, report these abusive pieces of crap.
Last story: Nope, the sister can go support herself. You know what, go to the wedding, give the surprise toast of a lifetime.
Tell the guests every single cruel thing that came out of her mouth.
Tell them all the bad behavior. Her fiance deserves to be told exactly what he is marrying.
The Sister didnt have to like Op, but she didnt have to treat her like crap for just being born.
Honestly if c had taken op to court, they would have been charged with child neglect, and op would have won. I’m glad J finally stepped up as a father. Hope things go well for them.
Story 2: you can’t DEMAND heirlooms to be given to you, because part of the appeal is that they are willingly passed down. Additionally, things people own don’t just magically become heirlooms - if OP passed down her ring, it would become one maybe after DIL herself passed it further along.
Demanding something and then playing it off as “wanting an heirloom” is simply not how it works. Furthermore, how can a ring function as an engagement ring, if the proposal already happened and the son presumably already used a bought ring to propose with?
About the ring story, I myself have a hobby with jewelry, I had even started to become a certified GIA gemologist. A really good quality unincluded Emeralds is very rare and expensive, if the ring has one then that could be the most expensive ring in her collection which would explain why she doesn’t always wear it. Also taking into account that she also designed the pieces herself, which is something even I wouldn’t have considered taking classes in, each of those jewelry items are EXTREMELY PERSONAL to her because she came up with everything about them. Having someone just come up and say I want your most expensive special piece that you are to afraid to wear all the time as my engagement ring and being persistent about it is a good way to make sure that the owner will give the entire collection to her daughter and give all the cheapest costume jewelry to the DIL.
Second story. The big sister was never over that her mum met someone new. She needs therapy in my mind. Its not about the sister. Its about her emotions about the death of her dad and her mum getting a new family.
Story 3: Honestly, I'd go as far as the give the dad 1.5 AHs as well. There's no way he didn't notice how the sister was treating OP, or the way the mom did absolutely nothing to stop it from happening. Yes, the sister treated him similarly, but it's one thing to decide to deal with it as one person and a completely different thing to not stand up for someone dependent on you. OP's dad should have gotten her out of that situation.
That last story hits hard. I have an older half-sister who's 6 years older then me and we love each other so much! We just see each other as sisters, just sisters, no half or anything less. She's met her "dad" and he's definitely not a good guy. The dad we both grew up with is, and she does her best to make it clear. The neat thing about having different fathers (but same dad) is she's got a huge family, and she wants me to meet them, and they want to meet me. She's excited to share their culture with us, and has done so in the form of delicious food! I wouldn't have my older sister any other way!
Story 2:
"My entitled daughter demands valuble jewelery from me for free"
"No 🗿"
WOW HOW COULD SHE DENY HER SHES SO MEAN
She’s not even her daughter. Heck! She’s not even a DIL yet.
2nd story: likely the missing part of the story is the exact words said during her demand, as well as the fact that the OP was already pushed so far for the wedding cost. This was likely the straw that broke the camels back
For heirloom story, how was the word “demanded” missed? Demanded can easily mean OP said no several times politely and then felt like the daughter in law only cared about her things and not HER thus OP justifiably felt like that woman only was after her property.
Rslash is always like “your property your rules” yet ALWAYS changes this stance when a woman is exclusively standing up for herself. Maybe subconsciously siding with the son “sticking up for his spouse” when it’s very clear that the son doesn’t really care about OP’s feelings about HER property?
Who knows, but bad take regardless 🤔
It's interesting you say that because MOST people accuse him of always taking the woman's side and being a misandrist.
@@sourisvoleur4854Exactly. He always takes the woman’s side, even sidelining men who are clearly in the right, aside from recently. It’s like he flip flops from one side to the other.
He seems to value being a good partner and parent over being a good person as well. Not inherently BAD values to have but I’d say there needs to be balance, he doesn’t have that.
The heirloom Story: you don't ASK for heirlooms. You recive it.
She treated OP as though she was Santa. As you’ve said heirlooms are given by the owner not demanded. FDIL demanded other possessions as well but emphasized on the ring. If OP obliged I’m sure she would’ve made sure OPs daughter was left with nothing.
@@lorilancaster5917 this. Thank you.
My Cousin is Like this. My mum was Like a Second mother to her and bought her lots of Things Like clothes, homewear, even Part of a kitchen over the years. Now my mum wants to sell her Restaurant and House and move away for retirement. She does Not even have a buyer yet but my Cousin asked for different Things to "inherit" Like all the gardegear, some furinture (that belonged to my mums grandpa) and also some jewelery my mume wore that she remembered "dearly" From when she was a Kid.
My mum, sis and I were more than appaled when she Said that because it sounded Like a grocery list she Had written
I feel like the most wild part of the story is that it wasn’t even an heirloom, the FDIL stated it as one. OP only called it an heirloom in quotation marks in the title, it wasn’t even meant to be one in the first place - the FDIL is just nuts.
OP said it was demanded which is even worse than asking.
@@uselessinformation1988 true
Yes it was outlandish of that daughter in law to demand a ring that has never been offered to her!?!? Her reaction was NOT too harsh at all.
Last story: as mean as this is, I think OP should go to their half sister’s wedding and when people walk up to her and ask where she’s been just tell them that her step sister never wanted OP in her life and she’s only here to make the wedding look better or something
That step monster in story one isn't upset about "losing money" she's upset that the op solved the problem she and her husband caused, thus making her look bad, AND robbing her of the opportunity to humiliate a teenage girl she clearly dislikes.
Sounds like she was using it as excuse to get the girl's hair cut. Maybe didn't want any of the responsibility in helping to maintain long hair. Not someone that wants to be a parent, let alone a good parent.
She’s definitely not upset over the money, I 100% agree with you there. She only paid 60 instead of 120, if anything she saved money for the price of the kid getting to keep her hair’s length. She’s got ulterior motive for sure.
Story 2: if my DIL came to me DEMANDING things instead of ASKING, like a decent person, I'd also be inclined to give them a harsh "NO". Therefore, NTA.
For the heirloom story, this is actually very-likely to be based around Egypt. The currency is called the Egyptian pound and we give gold as marriage gifts as well.
"This is my mom, and that's her f-buddy"
Personal reaction:
"Girl, allow me to introduce you to the following phrases:
1) actions have consequences
2) them's fightin words
3) it was at that point, she realized, she effed up"
I see you just glossed over the fact that the soon to be daughter-in-law demanded the ring versus asking for the ring.
For 1st story, hair stylists are Mandatory reporters and matting to that extent constitutes a report. They'd be getting a wellness check from cps within a week for the neglect sh*t
*First OP:* Question: Why couldn't Cathy have the hairdresser rectangle April's hair instead of cutting it off? I have an idea why (wicked stepmother ish), but still. OP is NTA.
*First OP UPDATE:* At least James finally got a wake-up call. I hope the reason Cathy's collecting her stuff is because James dumped her. Good for OP for forwarding the screenshots to James.
*Second OP:* "I ain't sayin' she a gold-digger..." But OP's FDIL sounded _quite_ entitled. Also, owning is not the same as borrowing. OP is NTA.
I also felt like OP left out some details.
*Third OP:* Assuming this isn't rage bait, OP's half "sister" got her karma. OP is NTA; she just matched that person's energy.
Detangle
@@non-binarycactuspuppy4524thank you. Stupid autocorrect
@@maieen2665 Although that is a hilarious autocorrect!
Last story - I feel for OP because I've gone through this/going through this. My Grandma's first child was my father from an assumed summer affair. It was 1948 so of course, everything was hush hush. I will never know that part of my family because my Grandma took that knowledge to the grave.
Grandma met and married a man two years later and had three more children. My father and his sister were bonded at the hip, but the brothers never got along and these two younger brothers even told him he wasn't a "real" brother. My father left at 17, met my mother (another disaster of a story) had me, and unfortunately died at age 21. I was three at the time. All the above was told to me by my aunt (father's sister).
The uncles never truly saw me as a nephew. When I was in my early 20s they even said to my face I wasn't "pure" blood and not really part of the family.
Fast forward to now, I'm 57 and these two uncles have made it their mission to "prove" that my mother lied and my father was not even my father. I can't figure out why, there's no inheirtance that I could collect. My Grandma passed away with just enough monty to bury her. It has to be just pure evil hatred for my father and by proxy me to put such animosity in their hearts. Oh weil, if that's how they want to live their lives, so be it.
story 2, to demand a ring as an "heirloom" instantly stops it from being an heirloom. heirlooms are gifted, with meaning. loving something, slowly building a collection, and then someone coming in and saying "give this to me because i'm marrying your son". that's entitled and gross
Story 2: when OP screamed “This ring is mine!”, I heard Gollum’s voice. That’s never a good sign.
Story 1: NTA. So let me get this straight, C would rather pay more money to cut A’s hair rather than simply brushing it out? That tells me this is a power move. C wants to hurt A to “assert dominance” as they’re both the only women in the house (I believe). Incredibly pathetic that the “father” isn’t doing anything to take care of his daughter and protect her from this witch. It’s so pathetic for someone’s bf/gf trying to force themselves into the parent role.
Update: Sounds like J isn’t an evil parent but more so, stupid and blind. Looks like he’s shaping up and trying to improve. I hope he kicks his gf to the curb. I’m so happy A is getting the help she needs and deserves.
Story 2: the point of an heirloom gift is that it is to be passed down the family through generations. To give something so valuable (and many pieces of jewellery out there are worth well over the cost of some of the most expensive houses in the world) as a future heirloom, to someone who isn't even yet contractually bound to the family in any way, is absolutely unhinged in my opinion.
Sure, she _may_ not be a gold digger, but the fact that she had already been given SO much in gold, cash, and sundry, AND she was apparently _DEMANDING_ a specific ring that her mother in law to be *still wore* sometimes ("the least"=/="never") and clearly cherishes sure looks bad.
The simple matter of fact is that she has no claim to a heirloom in any way shall or form, UNLESS she and her husband (actually related to OP) have a child. That's the point of an heirloom. AND it is too be passed down according to the family tradition, not when any old potential future recipient decided they want it. No tradition? Then it's up to the OWNER of the item. I.e. OP to decide how this is going to go.
This is like if some dude your daughter feel in love with, after proposing and exchanging proposal gifts, went up to you and said "hey dude, I was wondering if I could have your one of a kind DBZ statue signed by all the Japanese voice actors. I know you don't look at it as much as you used to and If put it up right on my headboard so I can look at it every day." And when you look at him like he has the heads, he not only doubles down, he starts demanding your property. I mean you know it will appreciate in value over time and although you hadn't fully decided to pass it on quite yet, it does seem like the best thing to do eventually, but it's yours goddamnit! He already got to marry your daughter, is that not good enough for him?
I hope this gets through. I saw this as a textbook r/entitledpeople post, mislabeled under r/aita.
R/slash be quiet. The daughter in law was demanding the ring. She’s an entitled brat and I’m not surprised op acted that way.
Do you understand you only get one side of the story? It does seem strange that she "demands" the ring when asking nicely will more likely work. Watch a judge show on tv like Judge Judy, and you will notice that one side's story is very different from the other. I am sure the DIL will have a totally different version. R/ picked up her story seems off.
@@Alexander21025 maybe don’t ask for someone’s ring. It’s honestly just rude
That horrendous excuse of a half sister in the last story made her bed of nails, now she can lay on it for the rest of her life. The OP is far, FAR better off without her.
I think the only reason that the sister in story 3 wants op in the wedding is because she is afraid that her fiancee and family are going to notice what a horrible person she is, how much of psycho she was to her little sister growing up. I mean is a major red flag!! I would run!
Have wonder how many lies the sister told to her fiance and in-laws about her half-sister? "We get along great, but she is too busy to meet you." "It was so difficult taking care of her when we were younger." Etc...
If the sister didn’t bother hiding her animosity from her mother and grandmother I doubt she would have hidden it from her fiancé. His family however are probably the ones she wants to keep in the dark.
The last story, I would actually go to my sister’s wedding, and tell everyone everything about our history whenever they ask me questions
The thing about emeralds is that they fade and discolor in the sun. If she wanted the ring as an engagement ring, it stands to reason that she'll be wearing it constantly- meaning she'll destroy the ring within a decade.
First story:
Everyone needs 0.1/5 Butt-Holes for not thinking to teach April how to look after her own hair. 13 is quite old enough to be able to lean that and she will need the skills eventually. April won't always have someone instantly at hand to brush her hair for her and she can't go through life with permanently tangled hair.
She did not have to cancel! Even people with brushed hair go to salons, and for £120 they're not limited to a buzz cut.
And if A was against getting her hair cut, the stylist likely wouldn’t have done it due to liability risk.
13:18 Yes, you are off the mark, specifically by getting lost in the weeds about possible cultural differences while the relevant part of the story is that this woman came to OP's house basically to demand a gift. Gifts are offered, not demanded. A demanded gift is tribute.
I’m sure the daughter still could have used a salon wash and trim. There’s zero reason to even cancel the appointment. I hope the mom calls CPS. That is neglect
My stepsister treated me exactly the same. She was popular, I was a social outcast, and no its not as fun as Lizzy McGuire. She invited me and my sister to her wedding to pretend we were good family. Me and my real sister happily ate up her open bar tab together.
Story 2 NTA “I saw good digging so I said gold digging, that’s not escalating that’s an astute observation!”
The first story...there was a case on Judge Judy of a hairdresser who sue a client for $10! 😂
Story 1: I myself have long hair that naturally curls making it often hard to comb after washing. It really is shocking that instead of taking a few minutes to embrace her hair and style it, she immediately chose to go bald. NTA
The first story really hits home.
I came from a family with 6 kids. My hair was long and THICK. People in my life made comments about how *I* needed to take better care of it, but the thing is I don’t remember anyone sitting down and showing me. I remember my sister would painfully brush my hair sometimes. It was torture.
That’s the only “help” I remember.
Years later my younger sister had super long curly hair my mom refused to cut because “it’s so long and pretty!”
I would put on a movie for us, break out the brush and conditioner, and spend the whole movie brushing her hair for her.
Dad rslash gushing is the most adorable thing, your baby girl is a lucky child please always protect her
All of my siblings are half siblings and we all love each other regardless. That girl needed HELP my word.
Story 2: FDIL did NOT ask for OP's ring, she DEMANDED it! If be offended if someone like that demanded something personal and meaningful of mine ESPECIALLY if it's ON TOP of me gifting them wedding costs AND £6,000 of GOLD. Seriously?!
On top of that OP also had already did a flat out no first. But the FDIL had continued to demand the ring. So I think the escalation was warranted
Honestly the petty side of me for that last story would go to the wedding just to tell everyone about how “great” of a half sister she was all with a big grin on her face. She made her bed and she can lie in it for all I care, and people deserve to know what kind of a person she is.
Story 1: While I'm glad the dad is going to get better, he still let this happen to the point if it wasn't for you and that girl standing up for herself he wouldn't have found out until she came home with her hair cut. Also I think everyone's giving this lady too much credit, if she really only cared about that girl's looks she wouldn't have let her hair gotten that bad or get mad when it was fixed instead of cutting it. She just flat-out didn't want to take care of that child and was going to take every lazy option cheat code when it came to doing anything for her. The only acceptable outcome after all this is the dad dumping her ass, don't work out don't try to change her this is an automatic deal breaker because even if there is a chance you will change for the better, you do not gamble with your child safety like that.
If OP is so good at making rings The future daughter-in-law should have asked OP to help her make a ring.
Story 1: it was less about the money. The step mother wanted to take a chance to humiliate her step daughter. She could have it dematted but instead was taking the chance to have a 13 year old girl get rid of all her hair.
That half sister is genuinely insane for thinking OP is in the wrong
" even though I hate your guts why do you not want to make me look good how dare you be selfish " the half sister....
@@thetruth1223
Right? A completely unhinged response
Story 1 I have a strong feeling that evil Kathy let April's hair get so bad on purpose so that way Kathy could give April a bad hair cut because she is jealous of her stepdaughter and wants to make her stepdaughter look bad. April's Dad needs to divorce his evil wife.
Kathy is girlfriend not wife, so dad can just leave
@@nightrayneraven1323and from the update sounded, C was the one kicked out. I hope moving forward, J finds better quality women to have around A.
Story 2: as another commenter mentioned, the future DIL was DEMANDING the ring, and trying to devalue it. Honestly, OP gets an easy 0/5 buttholes, because it’s her stuff; she can do what she wants with it. The DIL gets 2/5 buttholes for the sheer entitlement and audacity, and the son (while backing up his wife is admirable, it doesn’t fit with this situation) gets 1/5 buttholes. Regardless of how you rank it, I’m gonna stick by my opinion on this one: the OP is not in the wrong at all, even for her “escalation.”
Dabney, the DIL in the story BEGAN demanding things the instant was she engaged. The gold was she WANTS money and gold. She's a gold digger.
For that 1st story. My mother once made me get my hair cut, basically a buzz cut, because she was convinced that it was the reason I was struggling to find a job during covid. I have very thick hair that originally grew as an afro until I finally got it straightened & I loved it. It was hard to manage & going to a salon is expensive for me but I still loved my hair. I still remember vividly that day as I tried & failed to hold back my tears as I felt all my hair get buzzed away. So much so that even now I still feel a rush of anxiety whenever I hear one of those electric razors & I feel an instinctive need to protect my hair. I value my hair & I'm sure many other people do & just saying "oh itll grow back" doesn't take away from that horrible feeling of having something you value taken from you. So yeah props to that mom for sparing that girl from a possible similar experience.
Story 1: I had the same problem as April when I was 13. I had brain surgery and it made it really painful to try and brush my hair. So it got tangled and matted. There were several people in the community who would help me with it. OP is absolutely not the butthole
In the final story I wanted to deck that sorry excuse for a half-sister in the face, I myself have an older half sister and a younger sister and as much as we take jabs at each other and I bemoan being the middle child I wouldn’t change this for the world. And now, after everything she said to a 10 year-old she wants OP in her wedding to save face… yeah the grandmother was right when she said the half-sister would regret saying what she did when OP lost her brother.
Story 2, the daughter in law didn't ask she demanded the ring, that's completely different. I would have reacted exactly the same way as the mother.
Story 3: OP needs to schedule an outing, preferably out of town, with or without her dad and/or her friends AND make it publicly known that she's going on this cool outing...that just so happens to fall on the same day. Oops 😂
I feel like rslash's reading comprehension skills have just fallen off a cliff. He's had some bad takes in the past, but I feel like, in the last few months, he's been assigning scores and not actually paying attention to the story. I am specifically referencing story 2, in this case. Someone comes into OP's home and starts making demands for valuable items and, according to rslash, OP is the one that caused a real problem.
@rslash; do you live under a rock, mate?
OP was the one who said the DIL demanded the ring. Yet, considering OPs behaviour, the DIL might just have asked. It is quite possible that OP genuinely doesn't like her DIL. Especially if there is a cultural difference.
Oh man for the last story, ngl, hoping to see an update of, “r/AITA for ruining my half sister’s wedding by exposing her?” And just as petty revenge she’s telling the guests all about what her half sister said to her when she was younger.
I can't believe Rslash isn't doing any more videos for the rest of the year.
Seriously, Dabney, you're missing things here if you think 'there's nothing greedy about demanding a specific ring from your potential mother in law to use as your wedding ring'. On the most basic level, the thing that makes an item an 'heirloom' is that it's passed down to one's HEIRs. You know, 'a person legally entitled to the property or rank of another on that person's death.'
As it is, an heirloom ring is one passed down from generation to generation, you can't demand your future mother in law to START a tradition by giving you something you think is shiny.
Happy New Year’s Eve 🎉
The biggest red flag that James ignored when dating Cathy is that she was deleting messages from his phone without him seeing them.
She doesn't get to decide what is and isn't important to him. I wonder how many of April's messages were deleted by Cathy, which led to the distancing between them.
Story 2: heirlooms are something passed by the owner not asked for by the receiver. It's special if someone wants you to inherit something saying your family. Asking for it isn't wrong, but it loses the whole meaning of an heirloom in the process
With that said, I agree with Rslash, this seems bigger than the ring.
She didn't ask, she demanded. Why should she give up something she designed herself and saved up until she could have it made?
How convenient for OP's half-sister in the third story to want her for the wedding when before that she wanted nothing to do with OP for her entire life! Well, she got her wish, she can't complain about not getting what she wanted!
Story 2 she demanded the ring, not ask right?
You're missing two things in story 2. First is she's demanding it. Second is " on top of the other wedding gifts we discussed." She's being greedy and entitled. It's possible the op in the story is picking words to make her sound worse, but i strongly doubt its the case in this story.
In story 1 OP actually did the dad and the horrible girlfriend a favor because in the US that level of matting would warrant a call to CPS
Really?
@@It-is-me...Melsie yes because it’s a sign of neglect
@@kaylafuller8948 It may warrant a call but it's doubtful it would result in any action.
@@It-is-me...Melsie it is a form of neglect and yes action would be taken. I know someone who had CPS called on them for this exact reason and action was taken
@@kaylafuller8948 For messy hair!
I'm sure you're also aware of incidents where no action at all was taken when people have been reported for far more severe infractions than parents not doing their child's hair.
As a side note, enjoying brushing your daughter's hair depends on their hair type, lol. I have always had very tangley hair and if anybody came at me with a brush when I was little I would run and hide