Joseph Schmoe Its terms like that that keep promoting the old adage "Women expect Men to be mind readers." Its basically a womans emotions vs a mans logic; He has to think and place himself in a position to get laid, she just has to be ok with it. Why can a woman have support for her emotions when the man may just want a sexual experience. This is why falling in love is starting to become an life threatening issue or a chance to have your legacy ripped from you
Mike Doonsebury Yeah, that's all she was thinking about as she was receiving. I guess her illusion of what it would be like to hangout with aziz ansari was broken. She was looking down imagining him being funny. But, seeing his tongue whip. She thought, that's not the right format.
She just damage an innocent man's reputation and that's not a big deal? I agree with Ashleigh Banfield.
7 лет назад+4
+Caroline Mendy yet everyone else is guilty as sin right? specially if they are white and male? Oh yeah punish and condemn the white men but when a minority does it the movement is flawed? Liberal Logic.
That's an interesting take Gottenburg, I hope that's not the case though. If the white males you're referring to are innocent, I hope they get their names cleared and at least find justice; and the accusers face the law. I believe Russell Simmons, Bill Cosby, and Nelly are black though and are among those accused of sexual assault and rape, just saying. Thanks for your view point though, its always nice hearing different points of view.
Actually the woman aknowleged that she had part of the respinsability and maybe didn t give clear signals, yeah she souldn t gmhave gone to the press and resolve al of these things personaly because she had the right to feel violated, she consented but under pressure (like she didn t want to disappoint a star and live up to the expectation, many women have this feeling of guilt and exploiting it is not the right thing to do; he probably tought she was nervous because of who he is and missread the signals (because at least he apologized); but in the artivle she didn t lie , just described her oen experience. Plus : are you judjing all women for some s action? Aren t you one of the: don t judge all straight white males.. Get it togheter the truth lies always in the middle
Andreas Wiedenhofer sucking off a man is like saying Im really having a good time to most men. Buyer’s remorse is not sexual assault. You do a disservice to rape survivors when you defend false accusations.
Dark red Bandit Aziz is learning the hard way that bitches be crazy and bitches often lie about everything. Whoring about is a risky game for everyone involved.
Nayahpooh012 That’s the way liberals are, if you don’t agree with them then you’re sexist or racist or whatever, even with the facts in front them they won’t believe you because it they’re right and always will be.
Bob Dillion She’s just describing the lady... that’s the PC shit that we don’t need. Is it wrong to call the lady with the blue scarf a black lady? I don’t think it is.
HOw about the guy's non verbal cues. He called for the check quick. Ended the boat ride quick. She went to his apartment. She and he kissed. He took her clothes off. He took his clothes off. They're both naked and his family jewels is saluting her. He goes down on her. She goes down on him briefly. Of course, his non verbal cues will lead him to say, let's have intercourse. When she said no, he said, ok, let's put our clothes on and watch TV. HOW ABOUT THE GUY'S NON VERBAL CUES!!!! Basically, guys have to be mind readers.
Let the black woman talk for 1 second jesus christ....they both interrupted her whenever she opened her mouth..i hate it when people do that..Let her finish one god damn sentence
I support the MeToo movement, and although I feel bad for Aziz, and think the original story should of been handled differently, I am however glad it is a part of the current conversation. However, there is power within the MeToo movement, and "with great power, comes great responsibility". It is hypocritical to suggest men in position of power should take responsibility for their actions, towards women while at the same time minimizing the responsibility for the actions and consequences of women or the movement just because Aziz is a male celebrity. Whether it is on the left or right of the political scale, there seems to be an inability to objectively say this is what we've done right, and this is what we've done wrong, and this is how we should correct our course.
Wei Wan There is nothing morally wrong with wanting sex from someone and being direct about it. He pointed at his penis and didn't even say anything, and she started sucking him off for the *second* time this evening and somehow he is to blame for any of what she did? Or for thinking she wanted it? There is nothing for him to take responsibilty for. Unless you want him to take responsibility for *her* actions.
Be My Trophy, I'm not sure why you responded to me, as I don't think ice said anything that would suggest I strongly disagree with you. I think men can and should be better at non verbal communication, but of course the responsibility for communication goes both ways. This is a case where she failed to clearly communicate back her intent, and escalate the communication if it was at first misinterpreted or ignored.
Support Aziz Ansari. This claim against him is complete bs. The hypocrisy at the core of modern feminism is it's claim that it wants gender equality but clings furiously to that damn pedestal they claim to hate. No means no. But without a no there is no sexual assault between adults. Acting like a child and setting up the poor guy in the role of mind reader. TAKE RESPONSIBILTY FOR YOURSELVES AND OWN YOUR OWN MISTAKES LADIES.
I agree with your points, but I still enjoy watching Ansari come under fire. He supports the ideology which lead to him being accused, and still does, but he's not willing to sacrifice himself. He should turn himself into the authorities for sexual assault and leave Hollywood just as Weinstein was asked to do.
I would stand up for any guy in the same situation. And anger over social justice warriors out to catch every example of this ism or that ism is completely understandable, and totally relatable. That said this episode is not in the same league with Harvey Casting Couch or Donald Grab Them By The Pussy. Rampant political correctness is out there, douchy sexist behavior is out there. We need to have a little class and a little patience with each other. Sure call out the other guy when they are in the wrong but own up to it when our guy is in the wrong.
That's the behaviour of a woman who if ever told "excuse me, let me finish my point" would claim levels of victimhood and outrage that therefore nobody does.
Exactly what I was going to say. The other woman respectfully sat quietly in the beginning while red scarf made her point. When it was her turn, she couldn’t get out a sentence before red scarf started talking over her.
This white woman needs to read it again because she trying to put words where there ain’t. I’ve had an experience with sexual assault at the age of 6/7 and was able to push an about 36 year old man away so this story pisses me off because it is going to make actual women who have been sexually assaulted look like joke when they are trying to tell their story !!!
Exactly. They make women look like weaklings who can't be entrusted with any responsibility whatsoever. Like men should decide everything for them. And that creates room for many to be that exact way. And they still want to be respected as equals. Absolutely ridiculous.
-Hey. I don’t want to have sex. Maybe you misunderstood the situation. -My bad. Thanks for letting me know I was making you uncomfortable. Sorry about that. DONE!
The girl who complained about Ansari just ruined it for a every regular girl to be able to date celebrities in the future. Celebrity men will just stick to dating celebrity women from now on.
The Hacks-By-Jack Channel That brings up a great question: would "Grace" have been interested in, let alone gone to his apartment, Ansari if he was an average person? I highly doubt it.
A bad date is the worse night of her life? What an amazing life of privilege and luck this woman has had! The thing about her narrative is it's a pathetic attempt at manipulating the reader's opinion with superfluous details that have nothing to do with the main complaint (ambiguous as they are) such as Aziz choosing the wrong wine. It's a minor detail but it's there to paint a portrait of Aziz as both controlling and unfeeling towards our hapless female protagonist who apparently can't pipe up and say what wine she likes. The reader is supposed to sympathize with her who is like some Victorian Era caricature of a passive girl with no agency completely at the mercy of a man's indomitable will whose reputation must be preserved. The whole narrative was like a bad freshman creative writing piece of dull pointless details, overt manipulation, no climax (pardon the pun), and an overthinking analysis with little substance. In short, it was more of a character assassin piece than it was an accusation of wrong-doing.
The white lady justifies the woman’s behavior by saying it shouldn’t matter because it’s in a little known Internet publication that nobody reads anyway. She then concedes that it’s gaining national attention and being picked up and commented on by major media outlets. I think that cancels out the fact that it was a rinky-dink publication to begin with. She then shifts gears by saying it’s still useful because it “opens up a conversation”. That’s bullshit. All it does is open up a conversation about everyone’s perceptions of an anonymous woman scorned who is trying to take down a famous man. A conversation piece would’ve been effective if BOTH parties were allowed to remain safely anonymous while recounting their version of events.
Mass-raping women, like the Red Army did in defeated Germany, would start "conversations," too. Also, publishing Grace's real name on a small RUclips channel that went viral shouldn't matter, either. Right?
olivia15073 she dodged the question "is this okay?" REEEEEEEALLY hard. Every time he asked her (I'm halfway into the video and it's already three times) she has stammered out a non-answer about it not being an official part of the movement, or it being a small publication.
James Gardner ....Yep, and transparent, agenda drivers like that will be part of the reason that someone won’t listen to a REAL victim of sexual assault.
I’m OBSESSED with the woman in the blue scarf! She makes so much sense and she is a TRUE advocate of equality. We shouldn’t have to be mind readers. Don’t send mixed messages. Let your actions reflect your words, and USE your words! We have fought hard to give women power and a voice, and then to insist that they should be rewarded for silencing those things is atrocious!
The person who actually took advantage of "Grace" was the writer from Babe. She heard a story from a girl who felt confused and pounced upon her to milk everything for her own agenda. "I can't let this juicy story get away from me. I have this douchie comedian right where I want him. Yes!!!" And never gave a second thought to how she was actually exploiting an immature and confused young woman just to take down a male celebrity who didn't deserve it. What she did should be criminal.
juanlambda27 *IT IS ILLEGAL.* the misconduct falls under slander and libel laws. Aziz should take legal action against Babe Magazine and the writer of that slanderous magazine article. He could win a settlement or win big in court. That would be nice, to see Ansari get some justice.
The writer Katie whats-her-fuck was looking for her 15 minutes of fame. She sent a nasty email to Ashley Banfield like she was some important real journalist and guess what, she cut off her nose to spite her face AND IT BACKFIRED! Truly she just wanted her name out there and she did! Now she looks like a complete dipshit. I LOVE IT!
there is a actually a movie with Angelina Jolie in the main role, taking advantage of a story as a journalist just to get ahead, then feeling bad about herself. very good movie
Dark red Bandit so everybody famous or with a quantum of power should stop having sex, because it's automatically forced sex. Never heard so much bullshit. Maybe you shouldn't just repeat what other people are saying and start to think. By your logic, all the girls cheering to one direction, are victims of their fame, and somehow when they want to to have sex with them, it's the band who is guilty. There is one religion out there that follows the same logic, where the woman is guilty for getting raped, because she looks too good, that's why she has to cover. Bet you want to convert now.
Dark red Bandit well, I got your sarcasm, but not your point. Because I've personally never heard of ANY feminists say such a retarded thing in my life. And if you did, perhaps you'd like to share a link and enlighten all of us? lol
Why Aziz Ansari is "LEGALLY INNOCENT": 1- There was consented sexual engagement by both sides. 2- There was not force or threat over the so called "victim". 3- There was clear consent from the so called "victim". 4- There was not "abuse of power" since the "victim" is not work-related to the victimazer. 5- The "victim" was never clear facing the repeatedly sexual foreplays and touching of the victimary and engaged instead in consented sex after expressing unclear negativity and mixed signals by staying in the victimazer place. 6- The "victim" repeatedly engaged into sexual interaction with the victimazer. 7- The "victim" had the opportunity to leave the place, stop the victimazer actions or express clear and obvious negativity to the sexual advances of the victimazer and she did not. 8- The "victim" was assuming contradictory behavior towards the sexual advances of the victimazer. 9- The "victim" had clear signs and physical evidence of the desire of the victimazer, allowed sex and continued staying in the victimary place whatsoever. 10- The victimary was pushy and morally incorrect, however, due to the unclear negativity, consented sexual continuation and decision to stay in his place from the "victim" there is no legal elements that make the victimazer legally responsible.
“Grace” should take some responsibility of her behavior,action, and accountable of her decision. Sorry, regret is not an excuse for putting the blame entirely on the man. I’m a woman and I know when to say no and get up and leave.
Storma- damn straight. And being a confused 22 year old doesn't mean you get to rewrite the story and say you were assaulted when you were giving mega-mixed-messages. Time for an assertiveness training workshop for Grace. And Ansari could learn how to be a better lover, sounds like, but that's not the point.
#metoo jumped the shark on this. As a man who grew up with three sisters, I have always had respect for women. I will always treat females the same as men, but anyone who thinks Aziz is in the wrong here, YOU ARE NUTS! I will never apologize for sleeping with ANY women I have been with, even though some said they were surprised we were intimate on that night. This bullshit started back when they decided to label RAPE as "date rape". RAPE IS RAPE! We understand women are assaulted by people they know. For a couple to down a two bottles of wine and to infer the man will be raping his date because she is buzzed and can not give consent, is ridiculous! It is this kind of shit that stops any real progress from being made.When someone like myself, who has ALWAYS stuck my neck out and defended women being harassed on the job or correcting some sexists rant in private conversations, steps back from this movement and zips my mouth shut, that is like losing support.
I always thought date rape was, you go on a date, and then they slip something in your drink. Roofies or something. I think we can agree at that point that it's rape right? I want to point out that these people hadn't known each other for years, expecting Aziz to suddenly know what is going with her
Which is like no one. No one thinks that their drink contained roofies. And even if they were aware that's still not the same as consent. AkA the Bill Cosby situation.
You got that right!!! If I could go back in time and make false sexual assault accusations against every ugly or creepy guy I slept with under the influence, about a third of the US male population would be in jail by now. Seriously.
Would like to have heard more about Professor Opie's view; she seemed to have a well-reasoned perspective and to be able to explain herself clearly. Always annoying to have a controversial topic raised and then have discussion rushed and stopped prematurely.
John Borges as a logical thinking person I'm fully behind your statement. As soon as it ended all I could think was she put out the best debatable argument and it ended. Using her words "why didn't the conversation continue".
R Truth yeah, 'some' dude. I don't mean to drag race into this (i'm just calling what i see), but you clearly hear the difference of opinions between Professor Opie (the Black woman) and the Caucasian woman, and at that you see who gets to speak 'uninterrupted' more often...js. There's a term feminists themselves have coined "White Feminism" -i.e. the type where 'always playing the victim card/ always being the helples damsel in distress who was confused and couldn't have known what she was doing' is the gold standard; and nothing is clear apparently in the matters of sexual behavior. Smh. That's the mess that women as a collective need to stop. You can't have a movement where you're trying to empower yourselves AND be a victim. That White lady speaker needs to stop making excuses for that woman who accused Ansari. He definitely didn't Jedi Mind-Trick her into giving him a bj lol, that's the most absurd lunacy I've ever heard tbh. Smh.
I'm on the Alt-Right and I find nothing tricky: Tina Opie was been logical and calm and she was right. I even think she was really disturbed by the other feminist obtuseness. Your comment is just idiotic: it is like if one saying that would be tricky to for a progressive to support the "raped" white women or the creepy brown man. But then again you're a leftist; logic is a foreign country for most of you. Enjoy the left eating itself, because this is just the begging of a journey to a very dark place for most of you.
Its amazi g how racist the left has become and this comment displays it perfectly. And the im from the uk defence is hilarious as if the uk doesnt have far left poloticians.
jzilla1234 well your silly insults aside the left in the uk will eat itself for the same reason it is everywhere im not sure why you think the uk is some magical land where reality ceases to matter
Going public was a low blow. Being a grown woman, I’ve had dates go like this. I outright say, “we aren’t having sex and neither of us are orgasming.” Sometimes they’re ok to just making out. Sometimes they throw a baby fit, which is such a turn off I’ll leave and never talk to them again. But I don’t go to the local press about it.
It's called a "sex drive" for a reason. It is natural and strongly encourages people to have sex, even to find creative ways of achieving this. According to the story, everything that happened in that apartment was covered under the natural sex drive and was not abuse.
If people did not have a sex drive, then there would not be an opportunity for something like this to happen. Sex has never been a perfect act by any stretch, for any species, human or animal. Sometimes it goes smoothly at first, and sometimes it's awkward, confusing or even harmful. The natural sex drive fact (not law) has got everything to do with it. The point of the comment was that awkward, confusing or even mildly harmful experiences are some of the possible consequences of the sex drive.
Exactly!.. In the heat of the moment even woman demand/ request sexual favours.. No one is forcing you to do,if u dont want to..stop and leave..its that simple!
Tina Opie was my professor in Babson so represent. Thanks for being logical. As for Jen Deaderick shame on you for trivializing false accusations that could ruin an innocent man's life. Terrible
Hating men and blaming them for your mistakes is not what feminism is about. That's the problem with any movement, that there are factions within that movement that are extreme. The problem is that with feminism people believe that all of us are those extremists and these extremists ruin it for the rest of us.
Joni Rose. Then maybe 'feminists' should respond with opprobrium when 'extremists' behave this way. People believe feminism is extreme because, before this story became such an embarrassment, comments like yours were rarer than hens teeth. Spend an hour on Twitter and see how many you can find if you find my comment unreasonable. Why do you suppose that is? It's a serious question Joni, I'm genuinely interested to know what you think.
Oh my word the moderater needs to step up. The lady in the red scarf clearly voiced her opinion. I wanted to hear another view. The red scarf lady constantly spoke over the blue scarf lady. It is more important to listen than talk. Difference between ego and humility... So frustrating!!!
girl with the red scarf is thinking "oh this is a good opportunity to have a conversation about this kind of thing". meanwhile this poor guy's reputation, privacy, and career have been put on blast and she is trivializing that.
The fact that Ansari stopped before they actually had sex and called a cab for her tells me that the entire situation could have been stopped way earlier if "Grace" had actually behaved like an adult. At no point did she say Ansari forced her to perform any sexual acts on him, so why did she do it? Is it just something she does with any guy she kind of likes? Was it impossible for her to say "Sorry, I need to get going. Thanks for dinner. Bye."? This isn't even about feminism; it's about maturity. If she'd made it clear that she was leaving and then he tried to stop her from leaving or threatened to ruin her career, that's when it's an issue.
I don't know why that Sista even wasted her time. The Mighty Whities have the answers & conclusions to everything. It's like asking someone a question & then answering it for them.
Donald Curry Yeah, I saw a person talking over another person. That's very common in a debate. You made it about race to reinforce your own defeatist attitude.
Rat King DXIV can't wait for the sex robots to advance so I don't have to deal with this shit. I am not even joking, I carry around a digital consent form.
One good reason is because everyone else is doing a pretty awesome job for him. Two, if he says something, the media will start talking about that, instead of defending him. Three, why take the chance of saying something stupid?, especially when you consider 1 and 2? It kinda make sense when you think about it.
No, he'll be fucking castrated if he jokes about this. For the sake of what's left of his career he should just disappear for a while and forget this ever happened
Yep, he was conflicted. He knows that he is expected to side with the red scarf and ignore critical thinking skills. And yet another woman is actually using those skills. "Which woman do I want to be liked by, which woman has the most political power?"
It's ok to be sexually aggressive. To ask for what you want. It's even "expected" and desired from men and it's part of our nature. You can be anything you want, but you can also be the archetype, a man who goes after what he wants, flirts, seduces, being persistent, even using verbal aggression. This is how the human species evolved and many women actually do respond positively to that. So how can you prosecute men for being like ourselves? If a women says no, that's it. If she says no, then gets talked into a yes, that's ok too. Women are allowed to change their minds. Either women are able to make their own decisions and are able to say no and are empowered, or they are not.
You couldn't troll me any harder right now if you tried. So you insist men should be very sensitive, non assertive, none sexually aggressive? Sex is primal and shouldn't be civilized. Sex is a fight for survival of your genes. A certain active / agressivenets / assertiveness is part of the male sexuality. You wanting to punish that is really silly. I guess part of female sexuality is trying to control how men may behave sexually. No porn, no masturbation, no aggressiveness. You want a tiger but then pull his teeth. I'm pretty sure this is at the heart of the current feminist backlash, that the women psyche is trying to control sex just as men want but with different means. Just more subtle. I mean seriously Ansari did nothing wrong, nothing wrong at all. If a women can't say no, then what? Should we go back to asking her father and trading him goats because women can't be responsible for their own actions?
I had a friend. A girl who was, when I knew her, a strong advocate for women's rights. She loved Lena Dunham and even looked like her a lot. She was super privileged and her parents were very wealthy. As a woman she had a natural hunger for feminism but I also think her body type and the insecurities with struggling with weight in a thin obsessed world, allowed her to hold on even more tightly to her views. She was also Southern but fancied her self to be above the racism she grew up with, that her parents oozed of. S Pretty much sold her self as the ultimate freedom seeker. But notoriously racist remarks came flying out of her mouth. She slut shamed any girl who was prettier than her. She cheated on almost every guy she had been with. She was incredibly demeaning to any one, even if they were her best friend, if her ego was damaged. She was also sexual molested by a family member. She was used by a guy she loved as a young high school girl. She said she would only date a guy who was super tall, masculine, and rugged, someone who could protect her and not make her feel insecure of her weight, by doing nothing other then being heavier than her. He couldn't be bisexual. And he can't be metro sexual. These women are tearing men down for the same qualities they like, and worship in men. Dominance and protection go hand in hand. Aggression and strength are not exclusive. If women truly want a reversal of ideals in society and want men to be trained how to meet all their needs, then maybe they need to start raising up the type of gentlemen around them, that are genuinely coy about sex in the way women"claim to be" Maybe a man who doesn't put his career above you, but that means that he isn't as well off as your parents expect and want him to be. 'These women pretend to hate men, and while some are truly vile, at the end of the day these woman still privately pursue gaston, and prince charming, over anything.
This is only my opinion: If she felt uncomfortable in a sexual situation, she should say No... and LEAVE! DO NOT CHILL ON THE COUCH AND STAY, IF U FEEL PRESSURED or don't go to his apartment to begin with. Common sense isn't common these days. I can't even believe this is a story.... This, to me, is a total abuse of the #metoo movement SN: WTF is a non verbal que??? Men are not mindreaders.
As a dude, I recognize that I need to be really careful and really need to be certain that the woman doesn't feel pressured. If she's passive and only do what you tell her to, after she's been saying she's not entirely comfortable, then chill. And when you say you'll chill after she told you that, then don't continue trying.
They're both operating in good faith ??? She felt violated ??? She reacted petty and vindictive, after seeing him receive an award on TV, months after their encounter. Instead of going to the Police, or resolving this privately with him, she willingly went to the press, to smear him publicly. This was a deliberate character assassination, over a bad date!
The reality is its not easy to say no. The reality is also you have to take accountability for your actions, especially when the other party is clearly not trying to prey on you. This white woman is fine with ignoring the complexities of real life situations for the simple pursuit of making a point that most logical people already agree with.
As a young woman I had similar situations in which I regret especially after a couple drinks. I would never say I was raped or sexually assaulted, I just had regrets. I don’t think any of those boys (which was exactly what they were at the time) even realised I felt pressured or unsure. The just see sex so differently. I think it is dangerous to make such allegations when by your own admission she never said “NO” outright. Boys need us as women to be very clear on this matter because young men in particularly are not going to pick up on nuance. It is definitely something I talk to my teenaged girls about because of my past experiences.
well women just have this fantasy of a man should seduce women thats why you have regrets it's similar to a man who doesnt have sexual options and sleeps with a ugly woman well regrets well what do you mean by boys were they boyish or because of their mindset
I like how the woman in the red scarf dismisses this allegation with "oh it's Hollywood, these things happen to famous people". If that's the attitude we are adopting then the same can be said about Harvey Weinstein, "it's Hollywood, these things happen". She is a prime example of the the hypocrisy found in a great deal of "modern feminists". Lament about all the obstacles and difficulties you face and dismiss any the opposing side faces.
The Aziz Ansari debacle was one of the most shameful moments of the "Me too" movement. That woman basically humiliated and severely injured a man's reputation because she essentially had "buyers remorse" about having sex with him. He wasn't holding her hostage, she could have simply left, it's disgraceful what she did to him. Not every sexual encounter is going to be "awesome", and if it isn't it doesn't mean it's rape or even some kind of coercion. She's very fortunate that he didn't decide to sue her for defamation of character, he was probably talked out of it by his management.
i think this is pretty messed up. did the woman ever call him a rapist or accuse him of doing anything illegal? i don't believe so. she only shared a sexual experience which made her very uncomfortable. which is not a bad or wrong thing to do? she's only opening up a discussion, many have experiences like that and while nothing illegal happened, if alllll the women who were kind of ~pestered~ into a sexual act are uncomfortable about the experience, it should be addressed in all manners. people are putting a lot on her saying that she should have outright said NO. STOP. DO NOT TOUCH ME. and it's not realistic considering many women are brought up to not be confrontational. so maybe that is something that needs to be addressed. encouraging young girls to be more confrontational and stand up for themselves? would be a good thing for the next generation. bc god knows this isn't something the woman in question alone has difficulty with. we should also make sure boys understand consent as not just a lack of a "no", and that they factor in body language as an indicator. it's a messy issue (bc even just discussion of sex and the dynamics therein = minefield on all sides) but the way it's being handled and discussed is pretty horrendous.
Thank God. Finally one reasonable comment. Thank you! I had started to believe that this thread is just full of mysoginist comments...At a certain age and with a certain amount of experiences I bet most women have at least once in their life been "pestered" into a sexual act. That is truly an issue and it should not only concern women!
She has to take responsibilty for her actions .their was an attractoin there.I been alone with a woman at her apartment all day and some of the night and nothing nevet happen,because their was no attraction.
what about what "she should have done differently?" Maybe not gone to his place? Maybe not gotten naked? Maybe left when she wanted to leave? Maybe not perform oral sex? Maybe not do it again? Easy solution to all of this really. Don't have sex with people you just met. God forbid, maybe even wait to have sex with someone you are in a committed relationship with? It really baffles me that people don't see what is so painfully obvious: old fashion notions of marriage and sex were established for good reason.
MeToo movement is a fashion statement, women can't WAIT to find some sort of sexual encounter story, ANY story, to turn themselves into victims and center of attention
QBRikan77 Everyone knew all about Bill Cosby and gave him a free pass and he was untouchable for 40+ years. That is until he pissed off the Black Community in 2004 with his infamous NAACP "Pound Cake" speech in Washington DC...and within a relatively short amount of time he was suddenly and magically fair game for ALL his past accusers and media to come after him. Comedian Hannibal Buress took offense onstage to Cosby's remarks (Pound Cake speech) and brought up Cosby's hypocritical lifestyle...the media took it from there. If Cosby would have kept his mouth shut no one would have dared to go after him and he would have continued to have a free pass. As it turned out his hypocritical Pound Cake speech backfired on him. beta.latimes.com/entertainment/tv/showtracker/la-et-st-bill-cosby-pound-cake-speech-20150708-story.html en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pound_Cake_speech
Sadly, maybe he think Hugh Hefner’s old saying is true. If a lady says “no” she really means maybe. If a lady says “maybe” she means yes. And if a lady says “yes” then she not really a lady.
As a woman I think we need to know that we have a responsibility to be true to yourself- that said men are human beings and they can miss non verbal clues. It is best to say - Hey No. I don't want to have sex with you or go down on you. If you don't tell another person you are uncomfortable you aren't being responsible to your self. You are leaving it up to the man trying to figure out what you are thinking and he isn't a mind reader. Be open, be honest, have your boundaries and be strong enough to enforce them for yourself and stop expecting men or anyone else to read your mind. and by the way #metoo - so I'm totally behind rape culture dying- I don't think this is rape culture, I agree its a bad date she thought she could capitalize on.
Yes, also even during sex a woman might give non verbal cues coz she might be shy .. But if she is not interested,she should definitely say no and firmly!!.its so simple..this is just ridiculous
Nah, she's just a sexual racist who weaponized the #MeToo movement to cloak her bigotry! Never forget her name - Abby Nierman! She should be SHAMED and PUNISHED for this crime!
My husband 18 years ago told me he couldn’t read my mind. So I learned to speak. If she didn’t feel good about the situation. She should have opened her mouth and said something again. But because her self esteem was so low she went along with it. Men do not know if you have low self esteem. Find you voice. If you don’t you will get used. Is the fault of the man or your lack of voice?
I say that woman who accused Ansari had no malicious intent.....We have to acknowledge that women aren't as evolved as men...And as men we have to keep taking care of them and explaining things to them like children. That girl that accused Ansari may actually believe her own bullshit or convinced of her victimhood because Feminists keep telling them everything is sexual assault and women generally want to be victims...So she had no malicious intent because the other explanation is "Evil Bitch" and "Evil bitches".
Men are not "taught to pursue" it is a biological imperative to pursue. Society has amplified this and glorified pursuit, but the impulse is something every male creature on this planet is born with. Other than that it seemed quite a reasonable discussion. I'm not upset by the views of anyone here. I mostly agree with the black lady, but I also understand the point of view of the white lady.
just two things to learn here - 1) ongoing consent is important, so it should be ok and encouraged to check in with partners once in a while during the act "hey, are you having fun/does it feel good?" etc etc AND 2) Make sure to talk about how you feel honestly. In both the cases - treat communication as a higher priority than maintaining a mood or something. people often think that stopping to talk about things in between ruins the moos or something, thats just dumb. both people here could have checked in to ask if the other is still having fun and/or told the other person they dont want ot continue using words.
So she has to think on it for hours before she decides she wasn’t comfortable with it and he’s supposed to know IMMEDIATELY in the heat of the moment?!
Why is the accuser allowed to be anonymous while humiliating a person who is named and shamed?
mark mooroolbark the accuser outed herself on Twitter: Abby NIERMAN
She must be a democrat. A piece of shit.
Because gynocentrism and female supremists dominate journalism.
For protection, I think
@@krystalharris1259 where tf is his protection?
Ansari absolutely was asked to be a mind-reader. She even texted him saying she sent "non-verbal cues."
What the hell is that nonsense?
Joseph Schmoe Its terms like that that keep promoting the old adage "Women expect Men to be mind readers."
Its basically a womans emotions vs a mans logic; He has to think and place himself in a position to get laid, she just has to be ok with it. Why can a woman have support for her emotions when the man may just want a sexual experience. This is why falling in love is starting to become an life threatening issue or a chance to have your legacy ripped from you
I'm married, so, I'm not MGTOW...
But, with bullshit like this, I can see why the movement is growing.
Silent Conqueror or woman could give a loud “no I am not ok with what is about o happen at all “ and it wouldn’t happen
"My body's saying let's go. But My heart is saying no!"
Mike Doonsebury
Yeah, that's all she was thinking about as she was receiving. I guess her illusion of what it would be like to hangout with aziz ansari was broken. She was looking down imagining him being funny. But, seeing his tongue whip. She thought, that's not the right format.
She just damage an innocent man's reputation and that's not a big deal? I agree with Ashleigh Banfield.
+Caroline Mendy yet everyone else is guilty as sin right? specially if they are white and male? Oh yeah punish and condemn the white men but when a minority does it the movement is flawed? Liberal Logic.
+Gottenburg What does that have to do with anything? This is the biggest stretch I've seen in a while.
That's an interesting take Gottenburg, I hope that's not the case though. If the white males you're referring to are innocent, I hope they get their names cleared and at least find justice; and the accusers face the law. I believe Russell Simmons, Bill Cosby, and Nelly are black though and are among those accused of sexual assault and rape, just saying. Thanks for your view point though, its always nice hearing different points of view.
Gottenburg lol what the fuck where did race get into this lmfao
Wow dude, you just teleported across topics and reasoning lol
Another case of a woman who can’t take responsibility for her actions and want the world to treat her as helpless child as well as a empowered adult.
Lannel Bishop woman never do , that's I started looking at woman as grown children .
Actually the woman aknowleged that she had part of the respinsability and maybe didn t give clear signals, yeah she souldn t gmhave gone to the press and resolve al of these things personaly because she had the right to feel violated, she consented but under pressure (like she didn t want to disappoint a star and live up to the expectation, many women have this feeling of guilt and exploiting it is not the right thing to do; he probably tought she was nervous because of who he is and missread the signals (because at least he apologized); but in the artivle she didn t lie , just described her oen experience. Plus : are you judjing all women for some s action? Aren t you one of the: don t judge all straight white males.. Get it togheter the truth lies always in the middle
Andreas Wiedenhofer sucking off a man is like saying Im really having a good time to most men. Buyer’s remorse is not sexual assault. You do a disservice to rape survivors when you defend false accusations.
Lannel Bishop let's relax for a while and then she goes back to work .
Dark red Bandit Aziz is learning the hard way that bitches be crazy and bitches often lie about everything. Whoring about is a risky game for everyone involved.
Oh my God. Can't the white lady just stop and listen for one second and let the others finish their sentences.
HabituallyObsessed interupting feminist say what
Yea, I wanted to hear BOTH speakers' points of view.
A white lady listening..? Lol. Whaaat? Is that a thing?
Antonio Brown don’t mix up ladies with butch lesbians like this hag
Because it is no longer important to be correct in this country, it's about being the loudest.
The white woman is extremely unprofessional and lacks conversational etiquette.
Nayahpooh012 I agree
Nayahpooh012 That’s the way liberals are, if you don’t agree with them then you’re sexist or racist or whatever, even with the facts in front them they won’t believe you because it they’re right and always will be.
Nayahpooh012 nice bit of racism there could have said the woman with the red scarf but no you went straight for the colour
Bob Dillion She’s just describing the lady... that’s the PC shit that we don’t need. Is it wrong to call the lady with the blue scarf a black lady? I don’t think it is.
ZAPPED916 scroll through the comments and see how many black people are moaning at the black woman being called black
HOw about the guy's non verbal cues. He called for the check quick. Ended the boat ride quick. She went to his apartment. She and he kissed. He took her clothes off. He took his clothes off. They're both naked and his family jewels is saluting her. He goes down on her. She goes down on him briefly. Of course, his non verbal cues will lead him to say, let's have intercourse.
When she said no, he said, ok, let's put our clothes on and watch TV.
HOW ABOUT THE GUY'S NON VERBAL CUES!!!!
Basically, guys have to be mind readers.
monica arends She gave him head Multiple times and then he ate her out but everything else you said is correct
monica arends spot on, nailed it (no pun intended)
Why did she even agree to go back to his place if she wasnt down , juat a case if women playing dumb
Plus, she never said no. Not once. That's part pdf the mind reading, he was supposed to know that she was gonna say it a day later.
Let the black woman talk for 1 second jesus christ....they both interrupted her whenever she opened her mouth..i hate it when people do that..Let her finish one god damn sentence
Dark Soul20 thank you
exactly!!!
Why. This is not a black woman battle. These are white people problems.
Love Lace WHITE ppl lies
Love Lace The accused is not even white.
Totally agree with the black lady.
this white woman is minimizing the damage to azizs career
mastermooky gunga din is done.
I support the MeToo movement, and although I feel bad for Aziz, and think the original story should of been handled differently, I am however glad it is a part of the current conversation.
However, there is power within the MeToo movement, and "with great power, comes great responsibility". It is hypocritical to suggest men in position of power should take responsibility for their actions, towards women while at the same time minimizing the responsibility for the actions and consequences of women or the movement just because Aziz is a male celebrity.
Whether it is on the left or right of the political scale, there seems to be an inability to objectively say this is what we've done right, and this is what we've done wrong, and this is how we should correct our course.
LOL, agreed.
Wei Wan There is nothing morally wrong with wanting sex from someone and being direct about it. He pointed at his penis and didn't even say anything, and she started sucking him off for the *second* time this evening and somehow he is to blame for any of what she did? Or for thinking she wanted it? There is nothing for him to take responsibilty for. Unless you want him to take responsibility for *her* actions.
Be My Trophy, I'm not sure why you responded to me, as I don't think ice said anything that would suggest I strongly disagree with you. I think men can and should be better at non verbal communication, but of course the responsibility for communication goes both ways. This is a case where she failed to clearly communicate back her intent, and escalate the communication if it was at first misinterpreted or ignored.
Omg white lady.. listen and let others talk as well..
😂
its always about race huh?
Support Aziz Ansari. This claim against him is complete bs. The hypocrisy at the core of modern feminism is it's claim that it wants gender equality but clings furiously to that damn pedestal they claim to hate. No means no. But without a no there is no sexual assault between adults. Acting like a child and setting up the poor guy in the role of mind reader. TAKE RESPONSIBILTY FOR YOURSELVES AND OWN YOUR OWN MISTAKES LADIES.
If Aziz Ansari, male feminist and democrat was replaced with Donald Trump in these allegations, would you say the same thing?
>"No means no."
HIM: "Want me to stop?"
HER: "No!"
I agree with your points, but I still enjoy watching Ansari come under fire. He supports the ideology which lead to him being accused, and still does, but he's not willing to sacrifice himself. He should turn himself into the authorities for sexual assault and leave Hollywood just as Weinstein was asked to do.
I would stand up for any guy in the same situation. And anger over social justice warriors out to catch every example of this ism or that ism is completely understandable, and totally relatable. That said this episode is not in the same league with Harvey Casting Couch or Donald Grab Them By The Pussy. Rampant political correctness is out there, douchy sexist behavior is out there. We need to have a little class and a little patience with each other. Sure call out the other guy when they are in the wrong but own up to it when our guy is in the wrong.
Shadilay why.
Is the lady with the red scarf high or something? The words coming out of her mouth are so ridiculous. Just stop talking and listen.
I mean what is time? You knowwww? Space. Cosmos. Apple pie. What is all that? What does it all mean?
Neil Anderson i was looking for you
@ i saw the way she was acting (not what she was saying) and instantly thought shes on meth
That is coz she is biased as a feminist and cant see things neutrally!
The woman with the red scarf loves her voice too much. She shouldn’t be invited back.
That's the behaviour of a woman who if ever told "excuse me, let me finish my point" would claim levels of victimhood and outrage that therefore nobody does.
Rachael M lol
Exactly what I was going to say. The other woman respectfully sat quietly in the beginning while red scarf made her point. When it was her turn, she couldn’t get out a sentence before red scarf started talking over her.
Rachael M true, she didn't even let the other lady to talk, and Ansari didn't do anything wrong in my own view.
Rachael M i agree like a shut up
This white woman needs to read it again because she trying to put words where there ain’t. I’ve had an experience with sexual assault at the age of 6/7 and was able to push an about 36 year old man away so this story pisses me off because it is going to make actual women who have been sexually assaulted look like joke when they are trying to tell their story !!!
Exactly. They make women look like weaklings who can't be entrusted with any responsibility whatsoever. Like men should decide everything for them. And that creates room for many to be that exact way. And they still want to be respected as equals. Absolutely ridiculous.
Be My Trophy this story does make women look really weak.
for real, i agree. she talked over Tina so much, I wanted to hear Tina speak! cause Tina was actually talking sense.
Women like u deserve empowerment
jennifer amxx
Her stuttering spoke quite loudly, didn't it?
Stop cutting Tina Opie off! her opinion means just as much as Jen!!!
Tooniccee Neat yes!!!
Agree 100 percent.
The white lady sounds like she escaped from an SNL sketch.
-Hey. I don’t want to have sex. Maybe you misunderstood the situation.
-My bad. Thanks for letting me know I was making you uncomfortable. Sorry about that.
DONE!
The girl who complained about Ansari just ruined it for a every regular girl to be able to date celebrities in the future. Celebrity men will just stick to dating celebrity women from now on.
If my chances with Zac Efron were 0.00000000001% before they have gone into the negatives now. LOL
at this rate, celeb men will only be safe dating men
The Hacks-By-Jack Channel That brings up a great question: would "Grace" have been interested in, let alone gone to his apartment, Ansari if he was an average person? I highly doubt it.
She’s called Abby Neirmann
With probably more respect on the first date than this lady got.
A bad date is the worse night of her life? What an amazing life of privilege and luck this woman has had! The thing about her narrative is it's a pathetic attempt at manipulating the reader's opinion with superfluous details that have nothing to do with the main complaint (ambiguous as they are) such as Aziz choosing the wrong wine. It's a minor detail but it's there to paint a portrait of Aziz as both controlling and unfeeling towards our hapless female protagonist who apparently can't pipe up and say what wine she likes. The reader is supposed to sympathize with her who is like some Victorian Era caricature of a passive girl with no agency completely at the mercy of a man's indomitable will whose reputation must be preserved.
The whole narrative was like a bad freshman creative writing piece of dull pointless details, overt manipulation, no climax (pardon the pun), and an overthinking analysis with little substance. In short, it was more of a character assassin piece than it was an accusation of wrong-doing.
the White Guy and The Black Lady should have had this Interview Alone..the White Lady was waaaaaaaaaaaay too agenda based in her conversation.
DJ Which Doctor ? right I agree
Agreed
DJ Which Doctor ? Exactly
The white lady justifies the woman’s behavior by saying it shouldn’t matter because it’s in a little known Internet publication that nobody reads anyway. She then concedes that it’s gaining national attention and being picked up and commented on by major media outlets. I think that cancels out the fact that it was a rinky-dink publication to begin with. She then shifts gears by saying it’s still useful because it “opens up a conversation”. That’s bullshit. All it does is open up a conversation about everyone’s perceptions of an anonymous woman scorned who is trying to take down a famous man. A conversation piece would’ve been effective if BOTH parties were allowed to remain safely anonymous while recounting their version of events.
Mass-raping women, like the Red Army did in defeated Germany, would start "conversations," too.
Also, publishing Grace's real name on a small RUclips channel that went viral shouldn't matter, either. Right?
Wow the chick published a RUclips channel after this?
olivia15073 she dodged the question "is this okay?" REEEEEEEALLY hard. Every time he asked her (I'm halfway into the video and it's already three times) she has stammered out a non-answer about it not being an official part of the movement, or it being a small publication.
James Gardner ....Yep, and transparent, agenda drivers like that will be part of the reason that someone won’t listen to a REAL victim of sexual assault.
I’m OBSESSED with the woman in the blue scarf! She makes so much sense and she is a TRUE advocate of equality. We shouldn’t have to be mind readers. Don’t send mixed messages. Let your actions reflect your words, and USE your words! We have fought hard to give women power and a voice, and then to insist that they should be rewarded for silencing those things is atrocious!
The person who actually took advantage of "Grace" was the writer from Babe. She heard a story from a girl who felt confused and pounced upon her to milk everything for her own agenda. "I can't let this juicy story get away from me. I have this douchie comedian right where I want him. Yes!!!" And never gave a second thought to how she was actually exploiting an immature and confused young woman just to take down a male celebrity who didn't deserve it. What she did should be criminal.
juanlambda27
*IT IS ILLEGAL.*
the misconduct falls under slander and libel laws. Aziz should take legal action against Babe Magazine and the writer of that slanderous magazine article. He could win a settlement or win big in court.
That would be nice, to see Ansari get some justice.
The writer Katie whats-her-fuck was looking for her 15 minutes of fame. She sent a nasty email to Ashley Banfield like she was some important real journalist and guess what, she cut off her nose to spite her face AND IT BACKFIRED! Truly she just wanted her name out there and she did! Now she looks like a complete dipshit. I LOVE IT!
there is a actually a movie with Angelina Jolie in the main role, taking advantage of a story as a journalist just to get ahead, then feeling bad about herself. very good movie
This rinkidink thing could destroy the guys career!
Well, he's a male feminist. He shouldn't even have a career that a woman should rightly have. #reparations
Instead of thinking about the innocent man they worry about what this will do to their movement
Dark red Bandit so everybody famous or with a quantum of power should stop having sex, because it's automatically forced sex. Never heard so much bullshit. Maybe you shouldn't just repeat what other people are saying and start to think.
By your logic, all the girls cheering to one direction, are victims of their fame, and somehow when they want to to have sex with them, it's the band who is guilty.
There is one religion out there that follows the same logic, where the woman is guilty for getting raped, because she looks too good, that's why she has to cover. Bet you want to convert now.
Dark red Bandit well, I got your sarcasm, but not your point. Because I've personally never heard of ANY feminists say such a retarded thing in my life. And if you did, perhaps you'd like to share a link and enlighten all of us? lol
*As predicted, feminists are eating each other alive, and I'm not talking scissoring...*
Chris T. Thats funny
😹😹😹😹
🤣🤣🤣
😂
😅😅😅😅
red scarf lady kept misrepresenting the story, getting called on it, and kept doing it. sad.
Why Aziz Ansari is "LEGALLY INNOCENT":
1- There was consented sexual engagement by both sides.
2- There was not force or threat over the so called "victim".
3- There was clear consent from the so called "victim".
4- There was not "abuse of power" since the "victim" is not work-related to the victimazer.
5- The "victim" was never clear facing the repeatedly sexual foreplays and touching of the victimary and engaged instead in consented sex after expressing unclear negativity and mixed signals by staying in the victimazer place.
6- The "victim" repeatedly engaged into sexual interaction with the victimazer.
7- The "victim" had the opportunity to leave the place, stop the victimazer actions or express clear and obvious negativity to the sexual advances of the victimazer and she did not.
8- The "victim" was assuming contradictory behavior towards the sexual advances of the victimazer.
9- The "victim" had clear signs and physical evidence of the desire of the victimazer, allowed sex and continued staying in the victimary place whatsoever.
10- The victimary was pushy and morally incorrect, however, due to the unclear negativity, consented sexual continuation and decision to stay in his place from the "victim" there is no legal elements that make the victimazer legally responsible.
who is the victim?
Aziz and he deserves an apologize from the whole feminist movement and this lil bitch "Grace"
“Grace” should take some responsibility of her behavior,action, and accountable of her decision. Sorry, regret is not an excuse for putting the blame entirely on the man. I’m a woman and I know when to say no and get up and leave.
Storma- damn straight. And being a confused 22 year old doesn't mean you get to rewrite the story and say you were assaulted when you were giving mega-mixed-messages. Time for an assertiveness training workshop for Grace. And Ansari could learn how to be a better lover, sounds like, but that's not the point.
I agree. Abby Nierman should go on the talk-show circuit and stand up for herself.
Thank you! 👏👏
Yes, Grace should have had some guts and said no, loud and clear.
stormca1972 Grace=Abby NIERMAN
#metoo jumped the shark on this. As a man who grew up with three sisters, I have always had respect for women. I will always treat females the same as men, but anyone who thinks Aziz is in the wrong here, YOU ARE NUTS! I will never apologize for sleeping with ANY women I have been with, even though some said they were surprised we were intimate on that night. This bullshit started back when they decided to label RAPE as "date rape". RAPE IS RAPE! We understand women are assaulted by people they know. For a couple to down a two bottles of wine and to infer the man will be raping his date because she is buzzed and can not give consent, is ridiculous! It is this kind of shit that stops any real progress from being made.When someone like myself, who has ALWAYS stuck my neck out and defended women being harassed on the job or correcting some sexists rant in private conversations, steps back from this movement and zips my mouth shut, that is like losing support.
As a woman, I agree.
I always thought date rape was, you go on a date, and then they slip something in your drink. Roofies or something. I think we can agree at that point that it's rape right? I want to point out that these people hadn't known each other for years, expecting Aziz to suddenly know what is going with her
Yea unless she was aware her drink contained roofies.
Which is like no one. No one thinks that their drink contained roofies. And even if they were aware that's still not the same as consent. AkA the Bill Cosby situation.
If you go on a date and end up having sex without clear consent or against will then that’s date rape
REGRET IS NOT ASSAULT!
Well said!
You got that right!!! If I could go back in time and make false sexual assault accusations against every ugly or creepy guy I slept with under the influence, about a third of the US male population would be in jail by now. Seriously.
Would like to have heard more about Professor Opie's view; she seemed to have a well-reasoned perspective and to be able to explain herself clearly. Always annoying to have a controversial topic raised and then have discussion rushed and stopped prematurely.
John Borges as a logical thinking person I'm fully behind your statement. As soon as it ended all I could think was she put out the best debatable argument and it ended. Using her words "why didn't the conversation continue".
I think Professor Opie assesses the situation most clearly.
oodoodanoo And red scarf lady often interupted her 😑
Some feminists are crazy. You can't win one moment strong and powerful the next moment Damsel in Distress. Choose a lane
Just Marcus ✋ some ? ? ? ?
R Truth yeah, 'some' dude. I don't mean to drag race into this (i'm just calling what i see), but you clearly hear the difference of opinions between Professor Opie (the Black woman) and the Caucasian woman, and at that you see who gets to speak 'uninterrupted' more often...js. There's a term feminists themselves have coined "White Feminism" -i.e. the type where 'always playing the victim card/ always being the helples damsel in distress who was confused and couldn't have known what she was doing' is the gold standard; and nothing is clear apparently in the matters of sexual behavior. Smh. That's the mess that women as a collective need to stop. You can't have a movement where you're trying to empower yourselves AND be a victim. That White lady speaker needs to stop making excuses for that woman who accused Ansari. He definitely didn't Jedi Mind-Trick her into giving him a bj lol, that's the most absurd lunacy I've ever heard tbh. Smh.
Sonny H ever heard of a joke????
R Truth yeah dude. My question: why you acting like I attacked you? Lol. My long winded paragraph agrees with the original commentor.
Sonny H lol how am i acting like you attacked me?????????????????? lol what?
That white woman makes no sense at all, literally none!!
This video must be tricky for the alt right. Support the mental white feminist or the logical black feminist.
not 'tricky' if you take away the labels.
I'm on the Alt-Right and I find nothing tricky: Tina Opie was been logical and calm and she was right. I even think she was really disturbed by the other feminist obtuseness.
Your comment is just idiotic: it is like if one saying that would be tricky to for a progressive to support the "raped" white women or the creepy brown man.
But then again you're a leftist; logic is a foreign country for most of you.
Enjoy the left eating itself, because this is just the begging of a journey to a very dark place for most of you.
Its amazi g how racist the left has become and this comment displays it perfectly.
And the im from the uk defence is hilarious as if the uk doesnt have far left poloticians.
jzilla1234 well your silly insults aside the left in the uk will eat itself for the same reason it is everywhere im not sure why you think the uk is some magical land where reality ceases to matter
jzilla1234 also its hilarious that somehow you arent aware jeremy corbyn exists
Why did she go public after he apologised?
Soji Ogungbesan attention. Plus shes a woman... and an american.
MyChemicalDisaster MGTOW and and when you want some loven "hire it "
Anthony Kirkwood yep !
Money I'll bet.
Soji Ogungbesan because she wanted her WAY 🤔 and didn't get it so she LIED
Going public was a low blow. Being a grown woman, I’ve had dates go like this. I outright say, “we aren’t having sex and neither of us are orgasming.” Sometimes they’re ok to just making out. Sometimes they throw a baby fit, which is such a turn off I’ll leave and never talk to them again. But I don’t go to the local press about it.
It's called a "sex drive" for a reason. It is natural and strongly encourages people to have sex, even to find creative ways of achieving this. According to the story, everything that happened in that apartment was covered under the natural sex drive and was not abuse.
Panther15 ZodiacGods but now for that's a bad thing .
If people did not have a sex drive, then there would not be an opportunity for something like this to happen. Sex has never been a perfect act by any stretch, for any species, human or animal. Sometimes it goes smoothly at first, and sometimes it's awkward, confusing or even harmful. The natural sex drive fact (not law) has got everything to do with it. The point of the comment was that awkward, confusing or even mildly harmful experiences are some of the possible consequences of the sex drive.
Exactly!..
In the heat of the moment even woman demand/ request sexual favours..
No one is forcing you to do,if u dont want to..stop and leave..its that simple!
Not safe to go outside these days...
Self Rule what the accuser NAME???
She said "let's chill " . Must be mad he left out Netflix. 😂😂😂how can you give a man oral and then say you were forced?
The woman in the red scarf is the type of to my mother warned me about
Tina Opie was my professor in Babson so represent. Thanks for being logical. As for Jen Deaderick shame on you for trivializing false accusations that could ruin an innocent man's life. Terrible
Hating men and blaming them for your mistakes is not what feminism is about. That's the problem with any movement, that there are factions within that movement that are extreme. The problem is that with feminism people believe that all of us are those extremists and these extremists ruin it for the rest of us.
Joni Rose
The problem with any movement that is for a good cause is that the cuckoos are the loudest and make the rest of it look bad.
Joni Rose. Then maybe 'feminists' should respond with opprobrium when 'extremists' behave this way. People believe feminism is extreme because, before this story became such an embarrassment, comments like yours were rarer than hens teeth. Spend an hour on Twitter and see how many you can find if you find my comment unreasonable. Why do you suppose that is?
It's a serious question Joni, I'm genuinely interested to know what you think.
I love how nonchalant the white woman is about it, so what if she destroyed this man's career over a bad date, he's a man and so what.
Oh my word the moderater needs to step up. The lady in the red scarf clearly voiced her opinion. I wanted to hear another view. The red scarf lady constantly spoke over the blue scarf lady. It is more important to listen than talk. Difference between ego and humility... So frustrating!!!
"It's not gonna suck itself" - Aziz Ansari (probably)
girl with the red scarf is thinking "oh this is a good opportunity to have a conversation about this kind of thing". meanwhile this poor guy's reputation, privacy, and career have been put on blast and she is trivializing that.
The fact that Ansari stopped before they actually had sex and called a cab for her tells me that the entire situation could have been stopped way earlier if "Grace" had actually behaved like an adult. At no point did she say Ansari forced her to perform any sexual acts on him, so why did she do it? Is it just something she does with any guy she kind of likes? Was it impossible for her to say "Sorry, I need to get going. Thanks for dinner. Bye."? This isn't even about feminism; it's about maturity. If she'd made it clear that she was leaving and then he tried to stop her from leaving or threatened to ruin her career, that's when it's an issue.
I don't know why that Sista even wasted her time. The Mighty Whities have the answers & conclusions to everything. It's like asking someone a question & then answering it for them.
Donald Curry ikr
Nothing to do with being white.
This is how most conversations with feminists go.
Donald Curry Want some salt for that chip on your shoulder?
Donald Curry Yeah, I saw a person talking over another person.
That's very common in a debate.
You made it about race to reinforce your own defeatist attitude.
Donald Curry You're weird.
Apparently the sex wasn’t good enough so she decided to embarrass the celebrity.
the difference between a dumb and a sensible feminist explained
so traumatized she had to tell the world
non verbal is the new verbal verbal
Rat King DXIV can't wait for the sex robots to advance so I don't have to deal with this shit. I am not even joking, I carry around a digital consent form.
KingStannis Baratheon 😂😂😂 I agree
😂👍
You gotta take your lawyer with you when you go on a date now, just to watch your back 😂😂😂
At least Aziz is getting some good standup material out of this.
Will Hartley hopefully he'll drop the "male feminist " bullshit
Where the hell is he anyway? Is he hiding?? I would hate to be talked about this much and not defend myself or at the very least sue!
One good reason is because everyone else is doing a pretty awesome job for him. Two, if he says something, the media will start talking about that, instead of defending him. Three, why take the chance of saying something stupid?, especially when you consider 1 and 2? It kinda make sense when you think about it.
No, he'll be fucking castrated if he jokes about this. For the sake of what's left of his career he should just disappear for a while and forget this ever happened
sad :( master of none for real now!
Woman in red scarf says "there were shades of predatoriness",............she means fifty shades of predatoriness, lol!
The anchor really did his best to dodge every land mine in this interview haha
Right that was the fakest I have ever seen a white man act. He was legitimately faking his concern hahaha Dont blame him These men out here shook.
Yep, he was conflicted. He knows that he is expected to side with the red scarf and ignore critical thinking skills. And yet another woman is actually using those skills. "Which woman do I want to be liked by, which woman has the most political power?"
The one is a feminist, that thinks deeply about what is and isn't injustice...The other is just another Karen that like complaining.
I think of a man.. and i take away reason and accountability...
Vankai jack Nicholson said it best.
Was not sure how you were going to approach this one, Dr. Opie. LIke how you did it...I 100% agree!
It's ok to be sexually aggressive. To ask for what you want.
It's even "expected" and desired from men and it's part of our nature. You can be anything you want, but you can also be the archetype, a man who goes after what he wants, flirts, seduces, being persistent, even using verbal aggression. This is how the human species evolved and many women actually do respond positively to that. So how can you prosecute men for being like ourselves?
If a women says no, that's it. If she says no, then gets talked into a yes, that's ok too. Women are allowed to change their minds. Either women are able to make their own decisions and are able to say no and are empowered, or they are not.
You couldn't troll me any harder right now if you tried.
So you insist men should be very sensitive, non assertive, none sexually aggressive?
Sex is primal and shouldn't be civilized. Sex is a fight for survival of your genes.
A certain active / agressivenets / assertiveness is part of the male sexuality. You wanting to punish that is really silly.
I guess part of female sexuality is trying to control how men may behave sexually. No porn, no masturbation, no aggressiveness. You want a tiger but then pull his teeth.
I'm pretty sure this is at the heart of the current feminist backlash, that the women psyche is trying to control sex just as men want but with different means. Just more subtle.
I mean seriously Ansari did nothing wrong, nothing wrong at all. If a women can't say no, then what? Should we go back to asking her father and trading him goats because women can't be responsible for their own actions?
She approached him
Hope J He asked her non-verbally by pointing to his genital.
I had a friend. A girl who was, when I knew her, a strong advocate for women's rights. She loved Lena Dunham and even looked like her a lot. She was super privileged and her parents were very wealthy.
As a woman she had a natural hunger for feminism but I also think her body type and the insecurities with struggling with weight in a thin obsessed world, allowed her to hold on even more tightly to her views. She was also Southern but fancied her self to be above the racism she grew up with, that her parents oozed of. S Pretty much sold her self as the ultimate freedom seeker.
But notoriously racist remarks came flying out of her mouth.
She slut shamed any girl who was prettier than her.
She cheated on almost every guy she had been with.
She was incredibly demeaning to any one, even if they were her best friend, if her ego was damaged.
She was also sexual molested by a family member.
She was used by a guy she loved as a young high school girl.
She said she would only date a guy who was super tall, masculine, and rugged, someone who could protect her and not make her feel insecure of her weight, by doing nothing other then being heavier than her.
He couldn't be bisexual. And he can't be metro sexual.
These women are tearing men down for the same qualities they like, and worship in men. Dominance and protection go hand in hand. Aggression and strength are not exclusive.
If women truly want a reversal of ideals in society and want men to be trained how to meet all their needs, then maybe they need to start raising up the type of gentlemen around them, that are genuinely coy about sex in the way women"claim to be"
Maybe a man who doesn't put his career above you, but that means that he isn't as well off as your parents expect and want him to be.
'These women pretend to hate men, and while some are truly vile, at the end of the day these woman still privately pursue gaston, and prince charming, over anything.
I'm also gay, so no this isn't coming from place of bitterness.
does he deserves to lose his career over this.........NO....stop dragging him through the mud
This is only my opinion:
If she felt uncomfortable in a sexual situation, she should say No... and LEAVE! DO NOT CHILL ON THE COUCH AND STAY, IF U FEEL PRESSURED or don't go to his apartment to begin with. Common sense isn't common these days. I can't even believe this is a story.... This, to me, is a total abuse of the #metoo movement
SN: WTF is a non verbal que??? Men are not mindreaders.
As a dude, I recognize that I need to be really careful and really need to be certain that the woman doesn't feel pressured. If she's passive and only do what you tell her to, after she's been saying she's not entirely comfortable, then chill. And when you say you'll chill after she told you that, then don't continue trying.
The lady with the red scarf has no idea about it because she’s not in situations where men want to have sex with him. Honestly I think that’s why.
E A "her" :)
Is „him“ the punch line?
They're both operating in good faith ??? She felt violated ???
She reacted petty and vindictive, after seeing him receive an award on TV, months after their encounter. Instead of going to the Police, or resolving this privately with him, she willingly went to the press, to smear him publicly. This was a deliberate character assassination, over a bad date!
The reality is its not easy to say no. The reality is also you have to take accountability for your actions, especially when the other party is clearly not trying to prey on you.
This white woman is fine with ignoring the complexities of real life situations for the simple pursuit of making a point that most logical people already agree with.
Be dating black women only....
tarayp tuemond then expect child support, stabbings and a whole lot of violent attitude.
At least I know Ill deal with a frontal attack not this cowardly privileged white woman bullshit.
+Gabriel Michael Ya gotta point there.
Pap Smear 😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
Culture Shoxx better than jail time. Can't trust dem anymore
As a young woman I had similar situations in which I regret especially after a couple drinks. I would never say I was raped or sexually assaulted, I just had regrets. I don’t think any of those boys (which was exactly what they were at the time) even realised I felt pressured or unsure. The just see sex so differently. I think it is dangerous to make such allegations when by your own admission she never said “NO” outright. Boys need us as women to be very clear on this matter because young men in particularly are not going to pick up on nuance. It is definitely something I talk to my teenaged girls about because of my past experiences.
well women just have this fantasy of a man should seduce women thats why you have regrets it's similar to a man who doesnt have sexual options and sleeps with a ugly woman
well regrets
well what do you mean by boys were they boyish or because of their mindset
I like how the woman in the red scarf dismisses this allegation with "oh it's Hollywood, these things happen to famous people". If that's the attitude we are adopting then the same can be said about Harvey Weinstein, "it's Hollywood, these things happen". She is a prime example of the the hypocrisy found in a great deal of "modern feminists". Lament about all the obstacles and difficulties you face and dismiss any the opposing side faces.
The Aziz Ansari debacle was one of the most shameful moments of the "Me too" movement. That woman basically humiliated and severely injured a man's reputation because she essentially
had "buyers remorse" about having sex with him.
He wasn't holding her hostage, she could have simply left, it's disgraceful what she did to him. Not every sexual encounter is going to be "awesome", and if it isn't it doesn't mean it's rape or even some kind of coercion.
She's very fortunate that he didn't decide to sue her for defamation of character, he was probably talked out of it by his management.
It’s because he’s Indian probably
@@701delbronx8Yup! It reeks all over of weaponized sexual racism! Abby Nierman should be shamed and punished for this false accusation!
i think this is pretty messed up. did the woman ever call him a rapist or accuse him of doing anything illegal? i don't believe so. she only shared a sexual experience which made her very uncomfortable. which is not a bad or wrong thing to do? she's only opening up a discussion, many have experiences like that and while nothing illegal happened, if alllll the women who were kind of ~pestered~ into a sexual act are uncomfortable about the experience, it should be addressed in all manners. people are putting a lot on her saying that she should have outright said NO. STOP. DO NOT TOUCH ME. and it's not realistic considering many women are brought up to not be confrontational. so maybe that is something that needs to be addressed. encouraging young girls to be more confrontational and stand up for themselves? would be a good thing for the next generation. bc god knows this isn't something the woman in question alone has difficulty with. we should also make sure boys understand consent as not just a lack of a "no", and that they factor in body language as an indicator.
it's a messy issue (bc even just discussion of sex and the dynamics therein = minefield on all sides) but the way it's being handled and discussed is pretty horrendous.
Thank God. Finally one reasonable comment. Thank you! I had started to believe that this thread is just full of mysoginist comments...At a certain age and with a certain amount of experiences I bet most women have at least once in their life been "pestered" into a sexual act. That is truly an issue and it should not only concern women!
im so glad i got through my college years a decade ago
She has to take responsibilty for her actions .their was an attractoin there.I been alone with a woman at her apartment all day and some of the night and nothing nevet happen,because their was no attraction.
what about what "she should have done differently?" Maybe not gone to his place? Maybe not gotten naked? Maybe left when she wanted to leave? Maybe not perform oral sex? Maybe not do it again? Easy solution to all of this really. Don't have sex with people you just met. God forbid, maybe even wait to have sex with someone you are in a committed relationship with? It really baffles me that people don't see what is so painfully obvious: old fashion notions of marriage and sex were established for good reason.
MeToo movement is a fashion statement, women can't WAIT to find some sort of sexual encounter story, ANY story, to turn themselves into victims and center of attention
Pocahontas Girl could not even stop moving in disagreement. Not enough respect for a different opinion.
Bottom line is, unless you say stop, and you went through with the act, you consented.
The Inconvenient Truth - If Aziz Ansari had been White....he would be toast!
you think a black male celebrity would have been given the benefit of the doubt?
Highlighted reply
jackriver1999 - I think exactly what I said...I'll leave the rest to you.
"If Aziz Ansari had been White....he would be toast!"
mboiko Tell that to Bill Cosby
QBRikan77 Everyone knew all about Bill Cosby and gave him a free pass and he was untouchable for 40+ years. That is until he pissed off the Black Community in 2004 with his infamous NAACP "Pound Cake" speech in Washington DC...and within a relatively short amount of time he was suddenly and magically fair game for ALL his past accusers and media to come after him. Comedian Hannibal Buress took offense onstage to Cosby's remarks (Pound Cake speech) and brought up Cosby's hypocritical lifestyle...the media took it from there. If Cosby would have kept his mouth shut no one would have dared to go after him and he would have continued to have a free pass. As it turned out his hypocritical Pound Cake speech backfired on him.
beta.latimes.com/entertainment/tv/showtracker/la-et-st-bill-cosby-pound-cake-speech-20150708-story.html
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pound_Cake_speech
he already is
Sadly, maybe he think Hugh Hefner’s old saying is true. If a lady says “no” she really means maybe. If a lady says “maybe” she means yes. And if a lady says “yes” then she not really a lady.
😉
As a woman I think we need to know that we have a responsibility to be true to yourself- that said men are human beings and they can miss non verbal clues. It is best to say - Hey No. I don't want to have sex with you or go down on you. If you don't tell another person you are uncomfortable you aren't being responsible to your self. You are leaving it up to the man trying to figure out what you are thinking and he isn't a mind reader. Be open, be honest, have your boundaries and be strong enough to enforce them for yourself and stop expecting men or anyone else to read your mind. and by the way #metoo - so I'm totally behind rape culture dying- I don't think this is rape culture, I agree its a bad date she thought she could capitalize on.
Yes, also even during sex a woman might give non verbal cues coz she might be shy ..
But if she is not interested,she should definitely say no and firmly!!.its so simple..this is just ridiculous
Nah, she's just a sexual racist who weaponized the #MeToo movement to cloak her bigotry! Never forget her name - Abby Nierman! She should be SHAMED and PUNISHED for this crime!
What about Aziz's dignity and privacy in all of this? Does it get bypassed so feminists can have a 'conversation'?
@Leah Acevedo its 3rd wave feminism
The public doesnt have the right to info on dates. If Ansari were not famous, I doubt he would be going through this now.
I agree whole heartedly with Tina Opie. Thank you, Tina!
Its common for a man to be lied about and potentially have his career destroyed... Feminism at its core.
My husband 18 years ago told me he couldn’t read my mind. So I learned to speak. If she didn’t feel good about the situation. She should have opened her mouth and said something again. But because her self esteem was so low she went along with it. Men do not know if you have low self esteem. Find you voice. If you don’t you will get used. Is the fault of the man or your lack of voice?
Ansari sounds like I'm Sorry
I say that woman who accused Ansari had no malicious intent.....We have to acknowledge that women aren't as evolved as men...And as men we have to keep taking care of them and explaining things to them like children. That girl that accused Ansari may actually believe her own bullshit or convinced of her victimhood because Feminists keep telling them everything is sexual assault and women generally want to be victims...So she had no malicious intent because the other explanation is "Evil Bitch" and "Evil bitches".
Men are not "taught to pursue" it is a biological imperative to pursue. Society has amplified this and glorified pursuit, but the impulse is something every male creature on this planet is born with. Other than that it seemed quite a reasonable discussion. I'm not upset by the views of anyone here. I mostly agree with the black lady, but I also understand the point of view of the white lady.
Paul tone you must be a feminist in disguise.
Well, good discussion.
From a local news station too. Very good.
the article was irresponsible and detrimental to metoo
My local hotdog vendor still hasn't learned to read my body language. I signalled more onions.
"Slow down" indicates you are still interested in going forward, just slower... if you claim that means no - you are lying
This white lady can’t let the other lady speak meanwhile she sat and stood quiet while she talked. So disrespectful.
“As feminists aren’t we empowered to say no?” Quote of the whole debate.
This is just the beginning of what every one has been warning about.
just two things to learn here - 1) ongoing consent is important, so it should be ok and encouraged to check in with partners once in a while during the act "hey, are you having fun/does it feel good?" etc etc AND 2) Make sure to talk about how you feel honestly.
In both the cases - treat communication as a higher priority than maintaining a mood or something. people often think that stopping to talk about things in between ruins the moos or something, thats just dumb. both people here could have checked in to ask if the other is still having fun and/or told the other person they dont want ot continue using words.
So she has to think on it for hours before she decides she wasn’t comfortable with it and he’s supposed to know IMMEDIATELY in the heat of the moment?!
I have said since this started -"If women think this is going to end well, They have NOT been paying attention"-
The word 'conversation' is used a lot nowadays, yet nobody is listening to the other side