ADHD is All About Seeing Time & Feeling the Future
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- Опубликовано: 30 сен 2024
- This video explains what makes ADHD ADHD. I share my newest theory on why people with ADHD have so much trouble with time management, distractibility, getting things done, and procrastination. This video will make some of the most confusing, contradictory, and frustrating aspects of ADHD make a whole lot more sense. More importantly, I share some solid strategies on how to see time more effectively and feel future consequences so you are more motivated to start things earlier. Whether you are an adult with ADHD or have a romantic partner, child, client, patient or student with ADHD, the key to an easier life is understanding that ADHD is all about time.
No wonder meditation feels like it brings me back to my authentic true self…..though ADHD has caused me a lot of “problems”, it has also allowed me to experience life more joyfully and energetically. I only experience suffering once I try to fit societal standards of living.
Right on.
Exactly I totally agree 💯with you on this comment
wow, just figuring this one out after 35 years 😭😵💫😅😃💯
How do I get to where you are ? Do you have any tips/advice?
Wow. This entire video really spoke to me but especially that part at 28:33. "[...] until all of the sudden somehow Monday becomes Thursday night and it's again that 'like omg how did that happen' AND the fact that it's happening 50 Mondays IN A ROW doesn't change how they feel on this Monday" ...all of this time-blindness is suuuuper accurate to my experience. I was diagnosed as an adult and I'm so thankful to find experts who study brains like mine to explain and help me better understand everything that has been happening for my whole life. Thanks.
same here..
I have a clock on every visible wall in every room. I finally set various alarms on my phone - 1 to eat before work, 2. start getting ready and shower. 3. shower 4. pack up to leave 5. last call - leave for work. I have all my clocks set at least 10 minutes fast. 5. 10:30 pm start getting ready for bed.. I have various timers for managing things like remembering my laundry etc.. it all helps!
Wall clocks are the best. Ever since mobile phones appeared, clocks have disappeared.
@@flowerpower8722 I'm dyslexic which makes it really hard to read a wall clock
I use “Routinist” as a massively ADHD person 😂❤ It’s the best app I ever used to hold you to time-constrained routines. ❤ I definitely can relate. When people say that they get a “reward” for crossing things off a list, I feel like an alien, I don’t even know how to imagine such nonsense 😂
I got to the part where you said time management is managing time as opposed to reacting and then I got distracted by a star trek video and stopped watching. I thought about what you said though and came back lol.
Thanks for this perspective!
How did I just find you Ari? This is literally one of the best talks I’ve heard on ADHD....I’ve listened to a ton! Thank you Sir!
Shit! Just keep so many clocks and become a computer robot! This way adhd will become schizophrenic! Only solution for adhd is meditation and yoga! Untill these work out manage ur head with dopamine adrenal foods and do some head exercise or head massage! And keep urself out of extremely stressful situations!
“Feeling effective is a pretty good reason to feel good about ourselves.” …I don’t know…
As someone who has done the fifty Mondays in a row, and occasionally, very very occasionally, have managed to make the Friday deadline, I gotta say- it wasn’t very fulfilling. It felt like “Great! I am not taking a beating today, I put myself through torture Monday Tuesday Wednesday Thursday, and my reward is not feeling tortured on Friday. That’s awesome! Let’s do this all over again next week!”
Often, the reward isn’t a reward.
I’ve heard this described as relief rather than an accomplishment. Instead of being excited or proud of getting the thing done, you’re just relieved it’s finally over, and now you’re onto the next stressor!
If this were me I would consider how this fits into the big picture. If there are a lot of tasks that have little feeling of reward I would consider looking into a different field/career. If it's just a few tasks I don't like but overall most tasks feel rewarding, then that is not too bad. It's just a part of life that we are not going to love or feel rewarded by every task we do.
I really just wanna say thank you for calling us "Our friends with ADHD" and not "People with ADHD".
Only half way and I can say that this is the best video on ADHD that I have seen on youtube... and I have seen a lot 😀
It is so sad to see that this video does not have millions of views like other related videos. The information provided here was entirely new to me and I never viewed ADHD from this angle - but jeez it makes so much sense! This information will forever be integrated into my perspective of how adhd works and what techniques help and I am forever grateful to you.
Ok now I'm at 55:25 and all of this has been very useful info! Super accurate and very helpful. I'll make a note on my calendar to come back to finish watching this video tomorrow. 😅👍
Thanks for the talk. You can cover the same material in half the time though. We have ADHD ❤
I hate that it isn't about the guilt (~30min). There is already so much of it built up and it is so encumbering that I can't let it go/reconcile it and I feel the need to brute force through it; the cycle of shame-punish-guilt-and then nothing happens...same shit different day.
Thank you. Decades before I was diagnosed with ADHD I would try to explain to my husband that time felt "slippery" to me. I didn't believe my diagnosis at all until the 5th professional (he also has ADHD) sat me down. Still, this is the first description that resonates.It made me cry.
Your comment speaks to me as well. I’m over 50 and just recently realized I have always had many traits (both strengths and weaknesses) associated with ADHD. You wrote time has always felt slippery. That’s an interesting way to put it. My whole life I’ve been telling people I just do not understand the concept of time at all, it doesn’t seem real to me, it feels like an artificial concept. I recently read that people with ADHD actually perceive time differently from neurotypical people.
Thank you so much! I hadn’t heard of time horizons or temporal discounting before. I left my job to work my own business but have had such a hard time due to the length of time needed for results to be seen. I now realize why my year and month goals aren’t doing the job of motivating me. I’m moving my large goals to weekly and tieing to tangible rewards.
Great info, but this was not delivered in an adhd friendly way. It is a neurotypical layout about neurodiverse subjects.
Your consistently talking at a regular speed and pauses are all pretty short. I can pause the video but it is easy to tune out and I don't realize when my mind drifts so I take extra time finding my place. Add some pleasant tones, pauses, and transition music. Or sound effects.
There is nothing visually stimulating on these slides. They all look the same so I won't remember them as well as if they had anything interesting on them even if it didn't make sense like a rocket ship or an amoeba. Anything to visually associate besides written text would be helpful.
It's a little frustrating how many videos are about adhd but the content is difficult to ingest.
It's a video so add some motion.
If I can't watch the speakers expression and body language I get less comprehension about the message.
❤but it's great information 👍
This is so informative and absolutely necessary for someone who has ADHD to hear. Information is powerful and I am so grateful for the share of information. You have explained it so well and this has been a complete game changer for me Thank you so much! 🙏
fascinating.
from childhood, i’ve been having panic attacks about not living in the future 5000 years from now
I am loving this, very much resonates, thank you. I started learning more about this recently because I am dealing with it myself (has gotten much worse with age and cell phone culture) and I heard someone say that a small percentage of ADHD people are hyper aware of the future (in addition to being kind of landlocked in the now)....And I definitely relate to that. In one sense, there is only "now" and "now now" but in another sense, I am hyper aware of the future, striving to work toward future goals, and kind of feeling like I'm running in place or sinking in quicksand. But the future is VERY much in my present. I don't know how many others feel this, but whatever it was I came across (LOL) yesterday was saying that, too.
Yep….this is why we need to get out of our own heads at times because it’s so debilitating. I have lived with insomnia thanks to my overactive hyperfocusing mind 😢
I agree with you on it seemingly getting worse with age. Being a female it could be hormone related or lack of them.
I am very aware of the future being inevitable but I can't plan for anything that isn't in the now or at least, very immediate future. If I can't see it or feel it then I have no motivation or feel connection with anything beyond what I have concrete evidence of happening
ie: an appointment. It's like I'm unable to live beyond a week/ month from now ...yet ...in the now I'm thinking about an hour or day etc from now.
I live, briefly in the past to switching to the immediate future but rarely in the actual moment.
That said ...as a young child before the stress of responsibility & deadlines
I was very much in the moment I would sit & watch sunsets etc & absorb everything that moment had to offer, being smells sounds the lighting of the time of day. Now Id give my right arm to be able to experience that peace & joy of just being.
Meditation helps bring mind back to present. I’m a fan of Bhakti-yoga. Devotional meditation
Ok, here's an angle; listening & resonating with "due Friday" inaction until Friday....
It's Tuesday - I have family anniversary in two days Wednesday & a birthday party to attend Sunday in five days.
Listening & understandably wanting to do better I take myself to the calendar to note taking Action today....
Anxiety hits. No reason. Stomach in knot. No reason whatsoever, but what I _can_ do when I HAVE TO (THAT BEING WEDNESDAY AND SUNDAY) makes me only very uncomfortable UNTIL the deadline. Why? I don't know. No clue.
Goal: Work on pushing thru unreasonable anxiety.
Reality: Don't want to.
Reset: Identify & Do today - Tuesday (It's not even 9am after all = possible success.)-
Just sharing some new awareness of unpleasant familiar feelings which has apparently always led to my procrastination.
Replying to myself; Wrote Wednesday where I needed 'Thursday'!
This is the most internalized version of how my brain thinks. I've lived my whole life thinking/coping/compartentaiizing time and making excuses for it. I was diagnosed as a kid but never went on meds and am now an adult with a career, kids, a family and understanding myself for the first time in my life.
Are you a minority? Minorities usuallly do not get diagnosed and the intention is to institutionalize those kids. Medical and educational racism is tightly tied with institutional racism and the prison complex system.
This is a really important contribution to the ADHD conversation. I think the concepts of time blindness, future myopia, and time horizon are really important to understanding the ADHD brain and experience - it explains why I'm not as motivated by clear future goals, and why it can be so hard to envision and choose one clear future goal or pathway out of a seemingly limitless array of life choices - the present is so much more attractive and stimulating, and the idea of committing to one path feels too constricting at times. Thanks again!
I procrastinate because i dont feel the motivation and the motivation being absent does leave me with feelings of discomfort and block brain capacity’s/memory. That is even true for things i totally exactly perfectly know when to turn in and i know i should have started in steps and im behind weeks ago. Its not as simple i think but there is truth to it its complicated i dont even know myself of course but many people with adhd seem to act like they know all about what is going on linda impulsively
29:50 this is no different to any other skill or lack thereof. some things seem easy or hard to people based exclusively on how well hard-wired the task/skill is in the brain, not on whether one has the cognitive skills to understand and reason about them.
if you are a bad driver, no amount of "thinking thru" what should you do in a hypothetical scenario will actually improve your reaction time or spacial awareness in the real situation.
same goes for time management, mental calculation, reading a map, speaking a foreign language or anything else. you can know perfectly well how something is done in the abstract and yet completely fail at execution.
This is a very interesting video, however it's not adhd friendly. I get distracted every 5-10 minutes
Apathy Apathy Apathy Bam 💡
For me, I'm a time optimistic and don't realize how long a task should take. I get all caught up in the details, and loose sight of the big finish line. When I break a big task out into individual steps with time deadlines, it helps a little, because at least I a list of things, so I don't forget a big part of the final product, but it's also discouraging when everything takes longer than anticipated, so I'm failing to meet my little deadlines. Plus, I have anxiety that I'll forget something important and look stupid and get fired, so it reinforces being extra detailed... my boss always says he loves my attention to detail, but I have to improve time management. So, I secretly work extra hours to not blow project budgets.
Also, I'm not sure how dopamine fits into this, but the more discouraged I am, the more I get distracted. From what I've heard, I'm probably needing a dopamine hit. But. Since I'm not done with work, i stay at my desk and can't resist finding youtubes to listen to. Or texting a friend. Or whatever that isn't actually working.
I'm hoping by the end of the video you'll have some tips instead of more explanation of the problem... I'm 45 yr old, lady and I'm an engineer, so yeah, super smart, but struggling. It's 9pm and I've been at work since 9am.
Thank you. Your book is damn helpful and I think I will find some help from this lecture as well.
Wow! Amazing video, thank you! I helps me a lot with my clients and my family!
i often feel like my ADHD has some subclinical ODD mixed in, or at least I am a rebel in the four tendencies model by gretchen reuben. the idea about being a slave to impulse and distraction and free will was the perfect reframe and reversal.
Extremely grateful for this video Sir ❤
Nice video but the number of ads is ridiculous...
The solutions starts at 32:30.
This was really great stuff - thank you 🙏
you are talking about over focused ADD
Temporal discounting!!!!
So thankful for this presentation. Thank you so much.
Future Miopic Subscriber
Same
This is the best time management tutorial I've ever seen. although often at work, there is more work to do than time allowed, or paid. Thanks so much. An added suggestion when battling your mind against a big 'nope' job, allow yourself an hour for example, to 'download' into your brain all the steps required, and importantly how you're going to do them. Basically do everything in your head first, write down step by step what and how you're going to do it, then take whatever time you need to gather your materials first. That unlocks the block.
Or A.D.D
I have an awful habit of opening kids paperwork or mail, and then saying, I’ll deal with that later….and then I miss a deadline. The other night, my son gave me a form for summer tutoring. I put it on my nightstand, put an alarm on my phone for the next day at 8am, and labeled it”fill out kids paper for school-look on nightstand”. I made it specific, so I knew where to find it. The next morning, it was completely forgotten, until my alarm went off and directed me where to go…and I got the form signed and in my son’s backpack. I couldn’t believe it was that simple, but I was also sad that I have to be that explicit with myself, knowing that I will completely forget.
Funny that there is so much knowledge of what ADHD is and other conditions and illnesses, but the health care industry and doctors are reluctant to examine and diagnose people because they operate under two premises: 1) if insurance cannot pay for it and the person cannot be robbed, then doctors will not treat 2) the patient either wants drugs, disability paycheck, or legal protection.
This is brilliant. As someone that was diagnosed with ADHD in 1991 at age 10 years old and again in 2002 at 21 years old I can really speak for the validity of just about everything said in this video
Please dont follow this shit! Just practice meditation, light yoga, head exercise head massage and aerobic exercise! Have some coffee to increase dopamine! Its easy to evolve adhd into highly confident executionar of tasks! Just chill adhd is not a problem at all! This is just like u go to bathroom come out fresh and energitic! Only problem is u brain is not habituated to have space between thoughts!
@@nandakishorevibrant Your Suggestions provide Hope ,you sound quite confident and totally against the theory of medicating as suggested by Dr. Russell Barkley and other eminent psychiatrists. Have you successfully overcome the ADHD problems. At 55 years of age, the way my mind darts from one thing to another without actually accomplishing anything worthwhile, besides the mundane necessary routines, i was beginning to take to meds, but seriously would give yours options a try. Have you really been able to tame ADHD ?
@@umaranga6408 try ( ba dua jin), breathing fast/slow with both nostrils, do some swadhistana exercise left /right brain exercises , yoga, sleep at 9 pm to 6am! Drink cofee before doing any worthwhile works! Take dopamine foods tryptophan foods, take ashwagandha without a miss! Age is not a mater, dont worry about adhd! Just do ur daily work out normally! Giving recovery time after exercise is more valuable than exercise itself!
I have Pathological demand avoidance apart from ADHD. Your suggestions are great but I'm feeling under siege listening to them. How can I reconcile your tips on not this comorbidity please?
Dr. Tuckman, I have never been diagnosed with ADHD; however, three of my kids have been diagnosed with ADHD. At 50 what good would it do to be tested for ADHD, how would diagnoses even happen even be possible as my parents are now deceased, and we moved every two years so there's no attestation for my childhood. I'm fairly successful in at my job, most of my colleagues work around my quirks...
26:00 ( temporal / time ) distancing -
Immediate reward is more tempting,
The future seems non existent or out of reach... Executive function, fails to make plans for the future and take the steps necessary to create a good outcome, or takes the steps too late .
30:00 guilt inducing lectures don't work
.
32:00
Why do i have truble with becoming good/motivating myself even for my most favorite games then? And why did i have times in my life where my brain seemed to work way better. I think its random but it might happen more often after i trained like crazy have a substantial muscle mass and maybe when it decreases and when i somethimes take medication but not always. It may be only at perfect dosages idk
Im way more fucked even if i had a perfect to do list for everything i think. I think the peoblem is that most people getting treatment for adhd are mild or super educated or very very convinced by science. Because most people i have ever meet with adhd (and without) seem to love natural therapy hate medication evil pharma and justify everything by gutinstinct conclusions that are often a few layers deep but noone i meet exept a very fee select people would go throu extrended trubble to get the right dosage/meds beyond a very subsurface level. Since even strattera takes ~1 month gor most people to start working/be stable like SSRIs often do i can see why people think meds are not that helpful. + if you never know how good people feel and how easily they can motivate and focus and have social intuition then when u get 1 flow/intuition coming cöose to that u think its „hyperfocus“ its like a colorblind person seeing some colors better for a day and thinking he is in „hypercolordetection“ but in reality he does not know how much there is to have/know. Experts know how much they dont know clueless people dont know its kinda the same thing maybe that is called dunning kruger effekt
Your explanations are great! Just can't listen plus reading so much at the same time
Time stamps would be nice 😉 if you aim for adhd people.
I am watching this on a Thursday evening 🙄
My biggest issue is the more I structure the more I get bored with the structure. I prefer to simply say from 10-2 I will work on my business and have a list of tasks that I can do and decide what to do at that point what I have the energy and focus to accomplish. When I hit a task that has to get done that I don't want to do I delegate it or I realize it's not worth paying someone else to do so I do it myself.
I also have a really bad memory due to migraines so I don't know if I took my meds or if I remember taking my meds yesterday. So I have to attach things to physical things like turning on the lights so that I know if the lights are on, I took my meds.
I forget if I took my medication too. I started keeping a count, so I can count how many I have and that lets me know if I took it or not., but sometimes I start to doubt the accuracy of my count, lol. To stop myself from needing to do it this way, while taking my medication I’ve started saying in my head “ I’m taking my medication. I’m taking my medication” over and over. As soon as I can I’m going to buy one of those medication containers with a separate compartment for each day of the week. That should fix the problem for good!
36:50 anything but that
Dr Amen. : 7 types of ADD
Thank you sooooo much!
Ok Isreal
Thank you so much!!!!
Inspired by this video and a link to an article on ADHD as a Gift!!
"Healing is a long journey and it sometimes requires acceptance of what is to heal, rather that resistance through efforts to fix or change something now.
I feel I was given a blessing and a curse, as I am highly in tune to all forms of energy, connected to nature in a way that is integral to my being and can feel what others are feeling by looking at them or hearing their voice, although I've had the downside of anxiety which often accompanies ADHD, so I'm learning to become more aware of my time management, my tasks at hand (based on importance), while also seeing my unique perspective and lens through which I see the world as a beautiful rare gift that only my unique set of circumstances can create and only I can express these gifts and share them in the way I gathered much wisdom from all sources in an observant and creative way as I was learning to operate in the world from my own resources in many situations and that brought about a unique intelligence and awareness of things many didn't develop in the way I did. I was always the kid playing alone, looking up at the sky, trees and birds and hiding from the other kids, only befriending the other loners and outcasts.
Now I'm so much more confident and can see how my healing journey has helped me to have a better sense of self-worth, learning to adhere more to adult responsibilities and goal achievement, learning to focus more on what will better my future and to forgive myself through self love and being patient, but mainly acceptance and surrendering to the knowing that I'm perfect just the way I am now, has really helped me heal, grow and thrive as I become more motivated to achieve and take action towards my goals which now also align with my true nature I'm not suppressing or trying to fix or change anymore, rather becoming more familiar with as all the imbalanced sides of myself are slowly shifting more into alignment each day as I learn to accept my progress, keep focused and remain deeply contented in my progress so far and grateful for all we have and the growth made thus far through more self-love and forgiveness daily.
Be compassionate to yourself my friends!!"
💜🙏💜
My actual comment on this video:
Wonderful presentation!! I've had ADHD since they diagnosed me at age five, but probably developed it much earlier, as I also had panic attacks in my sleep at age three and four and it turned into general anxiety with panic attacks in my waking and sleeping life, so I then caused my schooling to be affected and I was even held back when we moved to a new city and that school was more advanced in their math that the small town I was from, so that set me up for more failure, as I was then disappointed in myself more as I already know I was struggling in school before we moved, so they put my back in first grade long story short and I felt like a joke. The panic attacks would come every day really since I can remember. I then was able to focus more before I graduated high school after daydreaming my way though grade school and junior high, but got honers and a 3.75 GPA, but math was always a struggle and I had a scholarship, but the math held me back in college and I have all the credits to attain my AA, but three math credits. Anyway, I'm back in school now. This was very helpful. Thanks for the info!!
57 minutes in and finally getting to some good advice, but I need to switch to a different task. I think there is too much detail, especially describing all the deficits and challenges.
It feels like this lecture is too much about teaching skills. How do you know I havent researched that? If you have insulin would you "teach" a person with diabetes to eat different foods? Why assume they havent tought about that too. Idk... maybe those are helpful i just think it has so little impact on adhd, i wish there was a placebo duble blind study where people teach adhd people organizing, books usw and not throwing out the ones that have no success and keep the ones that succseed like A.A. Meetings but having a open mind that it might have 0 effect, and then doing the same thing with neurotypical people. Just get some effect sizes out there, and you might be able to save all this time teaching skills and can focus on other stuff who knows. I mean why not teach depressed people to smile or shizophrenic people to "try to stay in the moment, dont listen to the voices" or autistic people: "Dont flap around with ur hands, try to look insitful and act like a gentelman: Here is how a gentelman dresses in the morning....Hey stop singing to the wall. So this is a monocle and dear gentelman use it in the left eye if they may look at some letter....."
Maybe im wrong.
I think u didn’t get the picture here. He’s not disapproving the use of medication - he is explaining the mental process we go through when making decisions. I myself am on medication and it helps a lot, but with this information I can improve, just like people without any condition can find this useful.
@agungariansyah7456 @emilydeitz7513 who is who