Inside the Mind of Alienation EXPERT, Dr. Bernet
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- Опубликовано: 26 июл 2024
- It’s not everyday that you have the honor to interview one of the leading parental alienation experts. Listen as Dr. Bernet answers some questions that formerly alienated children & targeted parents are itching to know.
Dr. Bernet’s website, Parental Alienation Support Group: pasg.info
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Welcome to The Anti-Alienation Project, where I discuss all things parental alienation from the POV of an adult child who's been through it. I'm sorry you're going through this, but I'm that glad you're here:)
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Extended family of child will often do nothing because they are flying monkeys. An idea for a movie is good, but unless there is a campaign to teach high schoolers to recognize people with disorders and not have children with them, this problem will not go away. And the problem is that a disordered person can hate another human being more than love own child. How does an adult child wake up from that nightmare and accept that fact about own parent? Maybe it's so difficult because admitting that would mean admitting own complicity in driving away his/her own good parent.
This is so true. Having never experienced a person with this narcissist psychological condition, and get into a relationship with them, then having a child with them, them going through this, has been extremely painful, and quite honestly traumatic.
Having children with a narcissist disordered personality is like dying each day, again and again. They do literally hate their spouse far greater than they love their own children. It seems like an impossibility, but I’ve lived my ex-husband’s anger, wrath, and ultimate alienation of my now adult son, since age 12.
Having a narcissist personality to co-parent with is adding one more child to the mix. The best interests of the children is a low priority, especially in ensuring that your children are safe and protected while with the alienator.
More needs to be done to educate high schoolers about healthy relationships, whereas most parents aren’t inclined to teach them. We learn what we live. If the family has a narcissist in the home, they won’t be educating their child about that toxic personality.
Adult children grow up being brainwashed, and have been conditioned to hate the targeted parent. Good parent vs bad parent. What type of damaged individual does this to their kids? High conflict marriages boil down to one spouse. It’s one spouse that causes all the conflict.
History will repeat itself for the next generation if teens aren’t educated about healthy relationships and what they involve. Thankfully more light is being shone on this psychological child abuse that is permanently scarring young adults in our country.
True
Until it's criminalised and minimum of 10 years for parental alienation is implemented, nothing will change ever, the system is fully enabling the abusive, narcissistic parent especially females more than males based off gender stereotypes & that just by being a female automatically makes a woman victims in every regard & the man/father the perpetrator in every regard, just because he is a man, the amount of influence rabid man hating feminist organisations have on government policy without any valid imperical research is absolutely criminal & fully in co-operation to deliberately destroy men/fathers by design it's not an accident at all, it's a fully planned & intended agenda to deliberately destroy the nuclear family.
Can't ever have a healthy relationship with an alienating parent ever, that's absurd injustice especially if the alienating parent doesn't make amends, apologise and make right what they deliberately did wrong...💯
Yes my oldest daughter 31 yrs. Know what her 2 younger sisters are going through but will not help.
As an alienated parent of more than 10 years, thank you for sharing your story and being a very important voice for other children who have been alienated. You also give hope to us millions of parents who have been alienated.
Parental alienation is a serious crime and should be a chargeable offense. The family court system prefers to profit off the years of malicious litigation instead of protecting the innocent children and targeted adults. I have witnessed incredible crimes in my case in support of the criminals.
Keep up the great work, YOU make a difference!❤️
thank you so much!!! I really appreciate your support. And I’m so sorry you’re going through this.
Until it's criminalised and minimum of 10 years for parental alienation is implemented, nothing will change ever, the system is fully enabling the abusive, narcissistic parent especially females more than males based off gender stereotypes & that just by being a female automatically makes a woman victims in every regard & the man/father the perpetrator in every regard, just because he is a man, the amount of influence rabid man hating feminist organisations have on government policy without any valid imperical research is absolutely criminal & fully in co-operation to deliberately destroy men/fathers by design it's not an accident at all, it's a fully planned & intended agenda to deliberately destroy the nuclear family.
Can't ever have a healthy relationship with an alienating parent ever, that's absurd injustice especially if the alienating parent doesn't make amends, apologise and make right what they deliberately did wrong...💯
Hope is a drug.
Another crucial and important factor is the financial drowning that hamstrings targeted parents as a result of the courts not holding the alienating parent accountable. And additionally another related aspect is the resulting depression and anxiety. I don't want to say there isn't hope,but to note the extreme difficulty that is inherent in the midst of this horrible abuse perpetrated upon the child/children.
I forgot to add and summarize. All of this makes it very difficult to go to court while also looking to and hoping the same system that permits/allows this horrible behavior/abuse will actually do something about it and help put an end to it.
Or even supporting the alienating parent by cutting off the target parent.
@@monikori6473 depression and anxiety is no joke with this hell were going through.
@@kristina7901 I know. Not being able to talk to my children is horrible. I Akeep thinking the worst that could be happening to them :( They want to talk to me but ex cut off all contact.
@@KingOfTheStalorites exactly. How does the abusive system help? Are we gaslighting ourselves?
I think that instead of me being on the hampster wheel fighting with my spouse to see our child i should just let her be i can only control myself & just make sure i'm healthy & happy despite what she does or says to me or about me so that if i do receive custody i'm in the best place possible mentally 💯🖤 Thank you 🙏🏽
Thank you again for doing this! I pray everyday my young adult children will wake up. The abuse is awful on my kids and me
:( :(. I wish i could help them so bad, they are not the children i used to know, they are not normal and its awful as a mother that i cant help them.
That 10 percent is NOT ENOUGH :(
The 10% is atrocious. @@kristina7901
The same production company who made The Sound of Freedom would be your best bet to get your movie made. This is hidden abuse and I am a mother being erased from my child's life. Thank you for what you are doing for others and keep up the amazing work. This is your calling dear one x
This young woman is creating amazing change! Naturally the world economic forum and world health organization defiles this experience of parental alienation.
That should be enough info for the comatose.
thank you so much!! Means a lot to me :)
Until it's criminalised and minimum of 10 years for parental alienation is implemented, nothing will change ever, the system is fully enabling the abusive, narcissistic parent especially females more than males based off gender stereotypes & that just by being a female automatically makes a woman victims in every regard & the man/father the perpetrator in every regard, just because he is a man, the amount of influence rabid man hating feminist organisations have on government policy without any valid imperical research is absolutely criminal & fully in co-operation to deliberately destroy men/fathers by design it's not an accident at all, it's a fully planned & intended agenda to deliberately destroy the nuclear family.
Can't ever have a healthy relationship with an alienating parent ever, that's absurd injustice especially if the alienating parent doesn't make amends, apologise and make right what they deliberately did wrong...💯
Lawyers are afraid to say "parental alienation" still....in iowa.
Also, in Canada, Alberta
Here are some terms I have learned about; parent child relational problems, estrangement, coercive control, family violence( all essentially PA, without saying the actual term) coercive control and family violence are now part of/recognized in the family law act. in my province ON.
My 2 alienated children cut all ties with my alienating ex-spouse when they "saw the light". i never had to say a single negative word about her, they saw it for themselves. I have some opinions on what your interview subject said, but no time to express them properly. Hopefully I'll get some free time to expand on my answer, which I think is helpful. One point I'd like to eventually address is guilt (on the alienated child's part) as an obstacle to restoring a healthy bond after reunion. Both guilt toward Parent A (because they are betraying them in a fundamental way) and toward Parent B (for having swallowed Parent A's story hook, line and sinker and rejected Parent B). Keep up the good work with your campaign!
And guilt of target parent for feeling helpless to protect their children.
@@monikori6473 exactly how I feel
@@donnaparsons8494 hugs
Going through this now after many mistakes made out of fear on my part, I’ve told my children they are not responsible for my feelings or emotions nor their fathers .. I keep trying to hammer that point hoping it will help in some way
My 6yr old son asked my why did I "kick" him and mummy out. His mum bullied me and turned me into a mouse I didn't want him to see such a weak man as his role model or to think that mummy's behavior is how a partner should treat you. She breaks every rule in the parenting plan. Your channel is helping me
If the parent doing the alienating is actually a narcissist, if the targeted parent confronts them it only assures the narcissists that their actions and words are working and they double down on their efforts. In other words, it only makes matters worse. The change only happens when the child tells the targeted parent the truth. All the power remains with the alienating parent so long as the child remains silent.
Lets see Dr Childress next!
I’ll reach out to him!!
Dr. Childress is expert.
And Amy Baker too
Jennifer Harman gets to the root of the interpersonal violence and power over the targeted parent from the alienator too, which is a link not recognised (insanely) by services. Major system failure. Post separation abvse involving children ought to be a no brainer with all the awareness of dv relationships yet it's completely ignored by the services meant to protect children and their loving targeted parents who continue to suffer. The wider public need to know of this hidden pathology wrecking families and children's futures and the enabling forces addressed. Harman is a brilliant voice in this area. If vengeful aims are a motivation, we can get in front of the alienation by recognising gaps in support for separating families and taking protective measures.
Absolutely brilliant
I'm a targeted parent coming up for three years now without any contact, sometimes we need to hear others opinions & not feel like we're the only ones, such a shame children are denied access from a living, supportive & caring parent, keep fighting the fight please, we need others to learn more about this, what to do when courts can cost so much money & sometimes we feel like it's hopeless, but living your child never goes away, though we must look after ourselves so our child see's a happy contented alienated parent if & when they are reunited... it's all rather sad where no bitterness should be involved it's the child who suffers the most.
Love 💕 to you both for raising much needed awareness.
Arthur Young.
Two other good people to interview: #1!: Dr. Jennifer Harman and Amy Baker PHD.
Dr. Baker said no.... :( Dr. Harman unfortunately has cancer. I feel so bad for her. BUT, she said she’d love to be interviewed once she’s in remission!!
Maddie, thank you for continuing to spread the message about Parental Alienation from the child's perspective. I can't help but seeing "my future daughter" in you - when she eventually wakes up from this nightmare. I agree with the doctor, we should unite to create a project; a movie or a music video or something similar to continue to create awareness. I'd love to collaborate with you and other adult children and alienated parents to make something happen. I make music, and I just wrote my first song about parental alienation. Just throwing that out there for you and anyone else who reads this. Again, keep up the great work, Maddie! 👌🏼💯
thank you so much for your support!! I’m really sorry you’re going through this.
Yes❤Madison it's super duper important our liberty & freedom AS AMERICANS ❤❤❤DEPEND ON IT❤A+ GOOD JOB
@@TheAnti-AlienationProject Madi, here's new info from Dr. Bernet. ruclips.net/video/bLUGSRnGtn0/видео.htmlsi=wWYBb98ExYov6WQw
Until it's criminalised and minimum of 10 years for parental alienation is implemented, nothing will change ever, the system is fully enabling the abusive, narcissistic parent especially females more than males based off gender stereotypes & that just by being a female automatically makes a woman victims in every regard & the man/father the perpetrator in every regard, just because he is a man, the amount of influence rabid man hating feminist organisations have on government policy without any valid imperical research is absolutely criminal & fully in co-operation to deliberately destroy men/fathers by design it's not an accident at all, it's a fully planned & intended agenda to deliberately destroy the nuclear family.
Can't ever have a healthy relationship with an alienating parent ever, that's absurd injustice especially if the alienating parent doesn't make amends, apologise and make right what they deliberately did wrong...💯
@TheAnti-AlienationProject I would love to somehow get involved in your project and spread awareness about this tremendous issue that many parents like me suffered in silent. My case it's to an extreme level and cross so many boundaries like you couldn't imagine. It's been such a crazy crazy ride. I would love to share my story. I think interview other parents and doing a podcast would a great way to spread awareness.
Dr Barnet always responded to me. He ofdered to assist with a PARC test bit the cutosy coordinator, Psychologist and judge all refused to use it as a test for parental alienation.
First thank you for all you do. The information Dr. Bernet provided pretty much confirmed what I already know and feel. As you know I have not seen my kids in 21 years. If they even attempted reunification, as he described, they and their actions would be rejected by their alienating mother. They would be badgered, berated and the alienation would just flair up again with more hostility towards me. "How could you do this to me?!" (I can hear the scream now). As far as help in reunification; most relatives are gone, those that remain have never wanted to be involved. Nephews and a niece (same age as my kids 35-ish), no longer communicate with my kids due to their "weirdness". Family friends also never wanted to be involved and certainly won't help today. Their spouses, I have never heard from them. All I can hope for is a life event, a moment in time, a crack to occur. Dr. Bernet's 10% estimate for reunification of the severely alienated is probably fairly accurate. I live on in pain and disappointment in it all. All I can do now is help others and I encourage other alienated parents to find a path forward and help others if you feel it can help.
Craig, I’m so sorry you’re going through this. I know that what you’re predicting--the alienator becoming livid at the kids if you were to reconnect--is probably what would happen. From the child’s point-of-view, I can tell you that learning the truth has been the hardest thing I’ve ever gone through... but it’s also the BEST thing that could’ve happened to me. It’s that cheesy cliche: the truth is what sets you free. "A painful truth is better than a pleasant lie"
Whether or not you reconnect, as you know, I appreciate your support for my project, and I’ll continue to hold that hope for you if it’s too hard to maintain for yourself. :)
I don’t care that my daughter has done this to me. I care that she is doing this to my grandchildren, and I believe it was to hide the abuse she and her husband commit against their children
@@JK-mr8wv It sounds ike our situations are VERY similar. I am now 67 and I also have grandchildren I will never meet and I am someone they will never know existed. This is all just plain evil and I believe...we the long term alienated are the "forgotten ones". It is harder now than it was in the beginning. I am very sorry you are going through this and there is some help-support knowing that we are in this together. Take care of yourself, life is too short not to.
@@JK-mr8wv Our stories are very similar and I am sorry you are going through this. I too doubt I will ever see my kids again. Educate yourself and Madison's pages will help and guide you to others. I now try to help younger dads in my area going through this. Here is my story (video interview with Madison): ruclips.net/video/GoVV3TFDFyI/видео.html
Great job Maddie! Your efforts are helping in such a positive way. Everyday new children begin this painful journey. Young, helpless and vulnerable children. Adults suffer immensely as well. I think the confusion and the pressure on children mixed with the pathogenic parenting they live with is life altering. Keep up the great work!!
thank you so much!! I appreciate your support more than I can express
There is an interview by Pearl of Erin Pizzey that exposes the insidious practices of the system that fosters parental alienation, which I see as a serious gender and human rights issue against men despite affecting a few mothers. Madison, It is a great interview and you give hope to some fathers but it is rare to patch the paternal bond and heal the wounds of a traumatized child.
Thank you! The statement you make at 01:35 is so valuable that you recognise the five factor model as an alienated child!
I’ve been studying Dr. Bernet’s research; it’s incredibly accurate to my experience as an alienated child. Creepily accurate.
A heartfelt thank you to Dr. Bernet.
Thank you for your work in this area sis. I truly can’t thank you enough 😢
Thank you for this interview with Dr. Bernet.
You might also get Dr. Jennifer J. Harman for an interview, whose work further helps to raise awareness.
I already reached out to her!! She’s battling cancer right now (so sad!!!!) but she said that once she’s in recovery she’d be happy to do an interview. :)
@@TheAnti-AlienationProject I'm so sorry to hear this but I'm so glad to have heard this interview; I'd reached out to Dr. Bernet since he's close to me being right up there at Vanderbilt but never heard anything but I'd this idea his organization was for professionals so was encouraging to hear him encourage us just parents and grandparents to contact his organization, which I've done
@@donnaparsons8494 I’m so glad you reached out to the PASG!! Thank you for watching and for your support!!
Madi, I'm sorry you went through this. Thank you for your advocacy and efforts to raise awareness.
you’re so welcome!!
Excellent interview, Madison!!! Thank you, and Dr. Bernet, for continuing to help educate!!!
Thank you, Tammy!!!!!
I want to know how I can HELP!!! I REALLY REALLY WANT TO HELP YOU GET THE WORD OUT.... THIS IS SUCH A PAINFUL THING FOR THE WHOLE FAMILY.
Thanks Madi your fantastic person for highlighting PA and all the madness that goes on as it goes above a lot of people heads as nothing makes sense 😢
Thanks a million 😊
Mick from Ireland
I'm a targeted parent.Your questions are outstanding, and the doc is terrific. I hope my kids find their way like you have.
Thank you Maddie!! Dr.!! I need you to testify aug 25...please???
thank you sooo much for advocating!!!! My husband has dealt with parental
alienation for 9 years. We have been married 7 years and it’s the saddest thing I’ve seen. 😢 the kids are now 14 and 16.
Hi Maddie - thank you for all you do to increase awareness about this subtle and despicable brain washing. I also am affected with my 13 year old daughter and after being deeply involved with her and her life since she was born, she suddenly completely rejected me and does not want to spend any time with me anymore. Haven’t seen or talked to her now since 5 full months.
I did talk to her school too but the school doesn’t want to get pulled into that and rather close their eyes even though it’s clearly visible. It’s also difficult for them to do something about it..
I got in touch with a lady from „the children between“, a class newly divorced parents are encouraged to take to learn all these little thing that create conflict for the child and that should be avoided. (But for the narcissist it’s kind of a training class of how they can better manipulate) However, my idea was that the schools should educate kids about this topic and empower them to set boundaries for themselves - because they learned what should not be done and where it is ok to say no confidentially. That would be similar to the DARE program that teaches them early about drugs so they can make informed decisions and say no because they were taught. With the percentage of marriages that end in divorce there are so many countless kids affected and there should really be a systematic effort to help these kids navigating these rough waters.
The school didn’t respond about that idea at all and just ignored it. The lady from the program said that there is no child focused material available (yet).
I would see that as a responsibility of the school to empower the kids to better understand what is happening and feel confident enough to set their own boundaries - a skill that they need in life anyway.
Maybe you have some ways of carrying this idea into areas where the potential can be seen and some manpower and energy is available to drive it. Our kids deserve to have some hope and support. Let me know what you think. Thank you! Herz❤
Thank you for your work. I've not seen my children in three years, and your videos are in some way allowing me to see into their world and head space...for that I'm truly grateful. Keep up the great work
thank you so much!! That’s a big reason why I’m going this :) I’m so sorry you’re going through this
@TheAnti-AlienationProject Keep up the great work. Your voice and those of the children impacted by this IMHO are the voices that will bring attn to this topic. Parents are ignored, but they can't ignore children.
Keep up the good work, yes its very damaging to children. I remember as a child my mother would trash talk my dad and then tell me to stand up straight. Its horrible on a child's self esteem. I desire zero contact with her. As a child I don't know why I didn't tell my dad that this abuse was happening to me. Perhaps I was scared of losing him or punishment.
Thank you for doing this. Such important work. Too many kids are harmed by this.
I'm going through this right now with my kids. The feeling is brutal. Men, don't ever give up on your kids.
Or women. I'm an alienated mum. It's an equal split research has shown
I had to give up and bury them as my health was failing from the stress. The one came back 15 years later and not the same son I knew before. Now I don't care to see any of them as they became people with no morals or feelings toward others.
I am glad that you are reaching so many people. It probably won't have the effect of a blockbuster movie, but it will, at least, help hundreds of people. Yes, reunification has therapeutical effect. All of the alienated children that I know of that have reunited with alienated parents have regained their authenticity and emotional stability. And the physical effects of PA (extreme anxiety, nightmares, vomiting, mutilation) largely go away, though because of cptsd those children still need therapy to cope with what they went through. There is also research that suggests that mental health improvement (Clawar & Rivlin, Kopetski), but it is kind of old. It would be great to have better research on the outcomes for children who reunite with targeted parents.
Thank you for this point!! I would love to see more research on reunification. Thankfully, it seems as though the University of Tasmania is really ON IT. 👏🏻
The hardest part is when there is known emotional and physical abuse by one parent, and advocating for the child's protection is considered alienation. Often one parent has experienced extreme emotional or narcissistic/ physicall/ emotional abuse, and when they finally escape they want to protect their children. Often this parent may know that the covert abuser they escaped from will alienate the child in ways that are not so obvious. For example: counter-parenting, letting the child have opposite rules to make the other parent seem over-bearing. Also, being "fun" all the time, but never contributing to the child's tangible needs, and then playing the victim. That parent may know things the other parent wouldn't approve of and secretly let the child do it in order to make the feel they are nice and the other is mean. I have seen parents be willing to destroy a child through covert means just to punish the other parent in a passive aggressive way. Covert narcissistic parents are harder to pin down. It can take years for even the abused spouse who leaves to figure it out. Once that "now aware " person leaves they want to protect their child from the covert abuse the other parent is capable of. A person who abuses a childs parent is by proxy abusing the child by emotionally destroying their parents and creating a traumatized parent for the child. This type of abuse is not always obvious, and so often it appears that the parent trying to protect the child is the alienator when that is the furthest thing from the truth. A child may easily come back in contact with this covert narcissistic parent in the future and fall prey to their cunning, manipulative and deceptive narrative. The child thinking this person is amazing and kind may discard the other parent and the covert abuser has then accomplished the damage the protective parent was afraid of. In the scenario, the covert abuser has committed post separation abuse by proxy.
Many covert abusers will *pretend" to want custody of their children and fight for it simply to get out of child support. Yet, when the kids are with them they neglect their needs. Then they later tell the child that they fought for them, playing the victim.
While I completely understand that occasionally there are instances where one parent removes a child from the other for selfish purposes. I would think it possible that many many loving parents are rightly trying to protect their children from covert abusers, and that these types of abusers are much more cunning and charismatic. It would take someone really really taking the time to understand the full context of both sides to figure this out.
I only caution that encouraging a child who a parent has protected to think of themselves as alienated, may send them straight to a covert, manipulative abuser and the caring parent will actually be the one alienated in the end. Malignant narcissists do extremely damaging things that are very hard to detect. That's why it is called "death by a thousand paper cuts."
The protecting parent may not be delusional, or selfish. It would be a tragedy if someone fought to get away from a covert abuser, and fought to protect their child from the covert abuser only to have the child later search for them, get love bombed by them, and then discard the parent who fought all those years to protect them. That would be a very sad ending.
This may not always be the case, but it is definitely something to consider.
Therapy would be the best for the targeted parent. The court system is a huge joke in Lake George NY. They absolutely did nothing to protect me or my child's rights or even hold accountability to the unfit alienator. I experienced racial injustice.
I’m so sorry you’re going through this... That’s why I’m speaking out. It needs to end
@@TheAnti-AlienationProject yup I know and I appreciate.
Keep fighting Madison, you have so many people behind you that support you. This is the best fight anyone could fight for. We love you.
Bless you Maddie. Bless you. The work you are doing is vital. Thank you from a dad that is fighting and will continue to fight like hell to be involved in my children’s lives. Thank you thank you thank you!
The problem with holding the alienating parent responsible for breaking the law of not interfering with the relationship of the child and the other parent is the fact that it is hard to prove them guilty when they say the child does not want to see the other parent when in fact that child really doesn’t want to…but they don’t want to because they know saying they want to would hurt the alienated and/or make the life of the child harder. It’s so complex I can’t even see how the monster can get charged brought against them…so sad
this is the best interview I’ve seen on RUclips.
Thank you so much for this excellent interview! I am so happy to find this and all the resources connected to Parental Alienation. I am now so long into it...I am 70 and my son is 50. There were signs I might have been able to understand better while they were happening going back to when my son was 12. If only I had been educated about this. Of course, then, the concept didn't even exist. I saw the signs in his behavior that something was happening, but didn't understand what was going on, what it meant, or what I could do about it. Long painful story follows. I have not given up...though it has been a lifetime. I still try to stay in touch. His response is minimal, but there and polite. Nothing comes to me unless I initiate. At least I find comfort now in understanding this phenomenon better. By the way, it extends to the entire extended family not only the targeted parent. SO much loss.
Thanks for this, it is a very complex issue. Many emotions involved that tend to cloud our ability to move through it effectively. I was alienated from my kids for about 1,5 years until social services took them from their mother. They still have her world view deeply engrained in their minds. It's a mind virus that is very difficult to start to remove.
Thank you 🙏
Thank you both, this information is invaluable !
This was a wonderfully informative interview! Thank you so much for all you do to increase awareness of Parental Alienation.
Glad it was helpful! Thanks so much for your support! 🤍
Thanks Maddie! Your interviews are fantastic!
Glad you like them! You’re so welcome!!
Great interview. Thank you both.
Thanks so much!! :)
You are incredibly brave for shedding light on a situation that many still do not fully understand unless you have directly experienced it. Thank you ❤️
There are 2 things that need to happen:-
1 breaching Family Law orders becomes part of the Family violence, psychological & coercive violence, so intervention/restraining order system. So when a parent breaches orders, the police are called & shown the orders, ie the law.
Police attend the property & serve an interim restraining order, compelling the parent to follow the orders immediately & present in court about a week later. In court the AP can defend the imposition of a full restraining/intervention order in the usual way. In Oz atleast this would link in with state police enforced Family violence orders. One consents without admission or contends the allegations in court, the local magistrates court. If the order is broken one is arrested & it becomes criminal. Currently works with allegations of physical & sexual violence also stalking & some coercive violence. In family law there are orders if there are orders that state a child should be with one party, let's say from 3.30pm on A Fri, then If they are not it's pretty easy for anyone to work out once one has read the orders.
2. Judges, Family Lawyers. psychologists & anyone dealing with children in the family law system MUST do a minimum of 4 hours CPD each year covering psychological & coercive control including the weaponization of children, negative coaching, undue influence & alienating behaviours, & their detrimental effect on children & their targeted parents.
The problem is ignorance then lack of enforcement & appropriate punitive measures by the courts. Ultimately this denies a child's right to have an unfettered relationship with both parents. Comments?
Courts can also do the opposite and order children into an abusive home :(
Thanks pal 👍🏴
I agree that a good movie that explains pas in a visual way would be greatly beneficial.
excellent. The last couple of minutes brought me to tears.
that’s my favorite part too :)
I so appreciate the information, I was going through a confusion time, it was helpful to know what I was going through was a thing, interfering with my kids without having a clue. My ex trained out kids in Mean Girl culture. I did make sure they are kind and educated. That’s when I escaped.
Thank you so much for your incredible work. I'm an alienated mom. Thank you for bringing hope back to me.❤
Yes, I can’t wait to make this movie!!! 🌚☄️❤️💫
Thank you for doing what you are doing. Hopefully it will lead to a day when children don't have to suffer as much, it is such unnecessary abuse. I'm pretty young but my health is not good, I've already barely survived a medical problem once and i won't survive a second time. The alienator was able to use my medical problems very ruthlessly and effectively. When i hear people talking about children sometimes eventually figuring things out and the amount of time that usually takes i realize i won't be around anymore and I'm really worried about what that might do to my daughter, it makes me conflicted on whether or not i want her to ever actually figure it out. It's all very strange and confusing.
Well done with your interviewing skills ✔️
Keep up the fine work ☺️
thank you Maddie! It’s reassuring to know i am going about things the right way and maybe its not too late for my son and i to have a relationship.
keep up the great work!
you are amazing!!! I was as well but now I'm a mama of three amazing children but there dad isn't able to see his first two kids.... I tried to ask the mom if the sibling can meet and she says no bc it's only about the dad seeing them but then she says leave her alone.... it's pure pain and madness... I really hope they can still meet someday and it's will be so beautiful...
It brakes my heart that all of this years later parental alienation is still an epidemic, and judges and lawyers still don’t enforce the orders that prevent this crime.
I’ve just discovered your channel and I’m super happy you’re doing this.
I want so bad to have a good relationship with my daughter.
I’ll definitely be following more
Love what your both doing!! Im in SC and want to help bring awareness and help change the courts here. I see it! I see the hurt. We can do this
great interview. consider interviewing Dr. Craig Childress and Dorcy Pruter for re-connecting parents and children.
This is so valuable thank you for doing this. Yes Im shocked some people dont believe in something that is so clearly happening everyday. We can call it whatever I dont care whatever they want to call it I dont care but its real unfortunately.
Excellent avenue Maddie, much respect to you. Doing wonders!
Thanks so much!!!
Thank for talking about it
🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾
I thank you for existence of your chanal... It's a such help ❤ and confort 🎉for many wounded souls in this insenity call alienation 😢
Dziękujemy.
Hey Madison!! This was awesome!!! Always informative and honest!! Always taking notes 📝📝📝
Just found your podcast. Wonderful interview. Great questions. 👍 ❤
Great Interview!
Many thanks!
Glad you enjoyed it!
AWESOME VIDEO, Thanks!!! 🙏🏼
Thank you for sharing this.
Thanks for listening!
Thank you so much for your work!
I have been alienated from 3 out of 4 of my children
Interesting points about making the public more aware by making a movie at about 29:30 . As an alternative suggestion is to make a play that is about 45 to 60 minus long that goes into a story about parental alienation and family connections. That way the play can be more easily done at various local theaters, or colleges, and that play may inspire more plays or a possible movie.
Thanks for this interview and thanks for the work you do.
you’re so welcome! Thanks for watching!!
Hi Madison. Thank you so much for getting Parential Alientation out there. Xo
You are so welcome!
A question for Dr Barnet, or anyone else who might know:
The book referenced in this video looks at US law, and US case studies. Is there any similar publication for Canadian and/or Quebec family law?
Great video, thank you!
I like Dr. Bernet's idea of a movie. There are celebrities who were/are victims of alienation that I would think may be interested in supporting a movie about PA. I read an excellent book, "A Kidnapped Mind", by Pamela Richardson that tells the true story of her alienated son. It has a very tragic ending and would make a very compelling movie, IMO.
I agree with 197s comment below and Dr. Bernets a film like Shindlers List would make a genuine impact but as 197 says it must be taught in school just like road safety and awareness of strange behaviors. But i have had the experience of a school psychologist who believed that people who could not speak the language of the country they were in should not take their children to school and could not teach their children anything so we must be careful about whom we entrust our children to as alienators are not just parents.
My mom deliberately destroyed my brother's relationship with my dad and worked real hard to convince me of lies.
What concerns me is that there is a very crucial component being left out of most of the conversations pertaining to parental alienation.
In many instances, perhaps even most of the instances, it's not a case of one parent badmouthing the other. But it can be a case of the alienating parent subconsciously impacting the other parent, due to their own unresolved traumatic early childhood wounds.
If the alienating parent experienced their own parents divorcing, especially early in life, or even in a pre-verbal stage of life, that parent will be re-traumatized when the divorcing parent starts to leave.
The alienating parent will be catapulted back into all of the fear and anguish they experienced as a child, and they will subconsciously project all of that onto the ex-spouse.
It doesn't have to be explicitly stated at all. The energy itself can be enough to sway the children toward this rewounded parent, and blame the leaving parent for all of that pain and fear.
In that way, the adult who was left as a child, and the children who believe they are also being left, can team up, and scapegoat the parent who is divorcing.
Even if the divorcing parent has no intention to sever the ties with the children, the fears of the other parent will eclipse logic and reality, and this can become entrenched.
Great point because that is happening in my marriage.
I'm so very sorry to hear that. I know how excruciatingly painful it is. If you would have told me in the beginning that should be going on for 13 years I would have been incredulous. I certainly hope a different outcome for you.
I'm just learning this is what was happening with my kids. I couldn't articulate it to the therapist bc it was so odd. My ex has full-out vengeance for me bc he did wrong and his behavior was exposed to his peers. It was bound to happen e eventually. But my kids couldn't see him as others did. It's heartbreaking for the kids. I wish they'd stop it!
My case is severe. My ex narc is from a family so severely affected by a narc father that TWO of his siblings and a nephew committed suicide. My ex was the golden child. Now he feels completely entitled to continue the abuse against me and our children. We have been divorced for 11 years and I have not seen two of my children the entire time. I have full custody and the police have refused to help. The Colorado government is complicit in these cases. It’s almost like they are INTENTIONALLY trying to destroy families.
Dear Maddie, I was wondering if you would share your current relationship with your mother. God bless you for the work that you are doing for this grave family problem. I was the targeted parent.
Its nit implemented and Family Court, attorneys, Gaurdians ad litem CPS all have ablind eyes and closed ears when it comes to PA, yetin fact do enabe this abuse in order to continue litigation with no regard to the childs well being.
If an alienated child grows up, blindly loyal to the favoured parent and continuing to punish the targeted parent, are they more likely to become alienating parents when they have children/stepchildren/marriage strain, etc? They learn the ways of the alienator ( deceitfulness, favouritism, treating others contemptuously, being judgmental, hostile vindictiveness, playing the victim, talking behind others' backs, etc) so it seems inevitable to me, but I hope that's not the case?
It’s not inevitable. Not at all. It depends on many more factors: the child’s personality, the family role they’ve been given (scapegoat or favorite child), and many other factors. Have hope, always
@@TheAnti-AlienationProject thank you
Do you have a Facebook page. Such informative helpful channel. My son is an alienated parent. So much hurt and trauma.
Yes I do!’ The anti-alienation project is on every platform. It’ll take you to the links in my bio :)
Please do. Not sure what your bio is. I’m in the uk. My son has gone through such trauma this year, including a court case to try to see his children, and discovered your so helpful channel.
I’ve found it. Thank you so much.
Hello, I believe that I can be of help to this cause. My husband is dealing with this; and we are close to having an investigation begin through the court. I have advice that I can share as ti how we achieved this and how we got the court to put this on all of our court documents. We are still in the alienating “process” but we now have more hope than ever. Please let me know how I can be a part of this project and I believe I may help a great help to families who are also dealing with this today.
ruclips.net/video/a064u7Ribp4/видео.htmlsi=NWb3QCl8iK9LQpvZ
That 10 percent estimate from Dr. Bernet is discouraging, but believable.
it’s discouraging, yes, but I think people need to know the truth so we can fight HARDER
What.about when the alienation happens over 10 years under your nose? Once I figured it out it was too late. They had been raised to dismiss me and yet be polite. Once I needed to flee it became obvious that the grown kiddos had no desire to have me in their lives, because dad would be unhappy. I know they are emotionally abused but they Know I love them. Their dad is a malignant, Machiavellian Covert narcissist. He owns them and they mistake it for the love he isn’t capable of. He had a wicked stepmother and I got the payback. What breaks my heart is that kids “pick” the abuser, and since they saw I was weak and stupid for staying. They don’t know that’s why I stayed. I would not have been included in holidays and events; just like now. When I left I had known that I would lose my whole family, my punishment for marrying a psychopath.
I have a question regarding judges in the family courts who have witnessed parental alienation in the cases and believe they have equal to/greater understanding of it than experts in the field of parental alienation. Do those judges tend to have knowledge of current research and a clear understanding of the indicators of domestic violence/narcissistic abuse/co-dependency?
My partner had an amazing family lawyer who got it. Unfortunately the lawyer for child had an agenda that women were the better parents
Please interview Dr. Craig Childress.
I have been alienated by an alcoholic ex
-wife. My little daughter is now 21 and I have had little or no contact for the last 7 years. I am a walking dead man.
Please show us what to is like a home with your mom, many years ago.
Like when you come home from school. What she would say and do
Love your test.
Have you been alienated? Test on your website. I found your website very helpful.
I believe it is a very helpful for court, and child psychologist to see.
But, I think that if the test is talked about and the narcissist, favorite parent finds out about the test questions.
They will make the child past the test. If the abuser learns about the test online. So be careful on complaining.
My awakening to tnis abuse in my 60's was the result of asking for a free consultation with a therapist. I explained my marriage and some of my feelings in a short 15 min phone call. She recommended I understand why I would allow people to treat me disrespectfully. It took a few days and I realized, my Mother sent me to nursery school at 2 and she religiously rejected me from that time on, in my recollection. And to this day, she rejects me at 97 yrs old!! She's sad. And, because I took the fixer role, I still want to fix her 😂
Kids need this information before they try going thru life hating themselves. People don't see this disfunction publicly so they don't know it exists. But, my extended family knew and said and acknowledge nothing.😅