Parental Alienation Syndrome Part 2: Effects on the Child
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- Опубликовано: 9 июл 2024
- Welcome to The Mental Breakdown and Psychreg Podcast! Today, Dr. Berney and Dr. Marshall discuss the long-term, negative of Parental Alienation Syndrome on the child.
Read the article from Psychology Today here (www.psychologytoday.com/us/bl....
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I’ve come to the realisation, that ‘parental alienation’ was in gear, long before I left the marriage.
I miss my kids.
Same was true in my case.
My husband hasn't seen his daughter in 20 years and has lost all hope that she will ever be able or even want to overcome the effects of her manipulation. Unless one has been in his position, you can have NO IDEA of the powerlessness and complete and utter annihilation. The only description that comes even vaguely close is EVIL.
Agreed! I'm living this right now 💔
So true.
@@lorrainem8234 the only hope you have is to NEVER say anything disparaging about the alienator. My husband did this and she's definitely shut down.
Oh, thank you SO much for sharing what went on in your life! My daughters are in their mid 30s except my oldest turned 40 last year.
My daughters were on the verge of opening their eyes to what actually happened to them when my abusive, manipulative ex husband told them that it broke his heart when I left him. And then he ... died.
The death certificate undeniably named his cause of death as diabetic ketoacidosis, but my girls are stuck now, convinced that I caused the death of their father.
This is beyond breaking my heart, because they're stuck in the mindset he left them in. So, now all i can do is pray for my girls even more than all before.
I SO want them to discover the hideous, horrid phenomenon of PA. Not so they'll come back to me. I simply want my children to be whole and healthy.
Thank God for Mady!
If this had been a known or defined form of abuse in TX during my divorce in 2010-11, my daughter Rachael would not be estranged from me now, and she would not be the confused, bitter mess she is now. I love you and miss you Daughter. You are still the love and light of my love. I pray for the day we can reunite. - Dad
You can easily and truly win your daughters heart back, by winning your wife back (being loving and kind and caring for her mother like you did when you convinced her to marry you)! Just follow the scriptures (KJV) and find Christlike fellowship among other godly families for necessary support. Your family just needs Christlike fellowship, where especially the husbands/fathers have Christlike accountability and are following God above pursuing money, lust or praise/approval of other men! God will show you the way if you follow him!
You’re not entitled to love from your children.
Kids are entitled to love their parents.
@veritaslux644 you have no clue. I love Jesus, but alienating parents are mentally ill. Dangerous people. Mentally destructive. Under no circumstances is a person who is married to a wicked and evil-doing manipulator required to stay with the abuser . No.
Woe to those who call evil good and good evil, who put darkness for light and light for darkness, who put bitter for sweet and sweet for bitter!
@@ABlessmanyes, the psychology behind alienation is very dark and dangerous.
My 4 children started their training at age 8 and by their late teens they wanted Dad out and assisted the Abuser. The children went on to pass the Stockholm Syndrome with the Abuser. Now with 5 against one and the Courts involved and the Police it was mayhem for Dad. All involved wanted Dad out on the street to live as money was the only issue for them. The children got what they wanted and now they can't have relationships, get a job or keep one are Depressed and have Mental health issues. The system can thank themselves for the mess in my children's lives as I never got the chance for visitation and no contact. Welcome to Ontario!
I am so sorry this happened to you
The "need to treat a parent this way" IS an unconscious need to stay safe. These kids have been terrorized by the AP.
Yes
Thank you for this video. My mom parent alienated my dad as far back as I can recall by telling me all about my father’s multiple affairs, both past and, what was then, the present. I ended up being completely uncomfortable with emotional and physical intimacy. I am 50 now and yet the negative repercussions still persist.
My kids kept demanding I had to tak them to wLmRt because what dad paid for support was for them to spend on what they wanted so I did show bills and what it went for and that included daycare, clothing, school activities, their vehicle, etc.
I would like to see videos on candyland grandparents.
My ex in-laws spoiled the hell out of my children. Forty years later they will have nothing to do with me because I have less money than my in-laws
Sometimes, it all gets down to money. I know. It has happened to me. My former husband’s mother pushed me out of my marriage because of her coming into a lot of money. I got my life back, working very hard.
After 35 years, my former has become a millionaire. My son and daughter in law have thrown me out of the family because I became sick 1.5 years ago.
I don’t see my grandchildren unless the other grandmother brings them to me, when allowed.
All I want is to spent time with my grandchildren.
It is ridiculous!!!!
Looking forward to a great conversation which the world needs to hear
I wish someone would educate CYS in this! Come January I am working towards getting laws where no caseworkers can dater someone they are investigating. Punishment is up to their supervisors and these are highly manipulative people that do this. Her supervisors allowed her to do this. If licensed she would have lost her licensed. Majority of CYS workers aren’t licensed. Contacted a state office and it will take about two years to pass but will be starting to put that into effect.
Thank you for this very accurate well done video. Parental alienation ...or Cluster B personality disordered individuals, can ruin many lives.
Thank you both so much for giving clarity to so much confusion surrounding this most serious subject.
I see abandonment issues coming out with my daughter and it ruined her marriage.
Thank you guys for addressing this topic which seems only understandable or given credibility by the people who have had to have suffered from it themselves or become close with someone who has.
So informative, I'm in Australia..my sons are grown up mid 30's. When my husband and I amicably divorced we decided the kids wouldn't be weaponised. However, it was my own mother, not my husband or his family (in fact they were in support of me) and always kept a good relationship with me. My mother who has narcissistic traits (according to dr. Ramani Durvasula) is very vindictive and cruel, she had constant contact with my one of my sons due to his attending boarding school (she paid for) lived near his school. It was my mother who poisoned my son and manipulated and managed to alienate me from him. She still has power and control over him, and my relationship with him is barely existent. My ex husband and his family tried to encourage my son to keep in contact with me. I didn't see/talk to him for 8 years. Luckily my younger son was not schooling near my mother, and went to school near me.
10 yrs old straight A's in Gifted, Mom comes back after leaving her with me at 3 yrs old, she got kicked out of Gifted which DEVASTATED her, because her Mom won't take her to school, so she barely got out of the Grade, she cuts herself, she vapes, & she is suicidal! Her Dad is alienated, but not to the extent I am. She now BELIEVES SHE NEVER LIVED WITH ME, 7 years! And with hundreds of photos & videos. They divorced when she was 3, her Dad had to leave the Military to get custody because she gave birth to her brother addicted to narcotics. Mom doesn't want the brother.
I know she feels guilty when she treats me badly, & since I raised her for 7 yrs, it was the only stable years of her life. I'm not moving on, it's been 2 yrs, she's brilliant & not in school, & more importantly, her mom took her out of therapy as well.
Oh my Gosh.
Life is sooo Complicated, as it is. ... The Best ☘️ Luck, to you and Your's!
I hope you can Help her Find her Way! Life, is so challenging, at those Tender, ages!
Glad you are talking about it. But actions are overdue. This condition needs to be made very public, in schools, medical offices, courts, lawyers meetings, media. Just like SIDS, autism, ADD, have become mainstream, so this needs to be brought out of the closet in a big way💥
This is so evil. I'm just understanding now why all 3 of my kids have been hostile towards me and now want nothing to do with me. They're downright disrespectful and I hear my ex-husband's words coming out of their mouths. I'm finding out now he's been lying to them about me and telling them things that happened before they were ever born. He's done despicable things to me they've seen and sided with him. I never said things about him or the things he did but he's so narcissistic that he used them to hurt me. He even convinced my son it was my fault he did drugs. As if I have control over a person using drugs. My son is convinced it's my fault his poor dad had some right to my home when he was absent for almost 4 years with no contact with his kids and saying he's getting married again. How is he blaming me for not allowing his dad back into my home? He's using my son as a sounding board. My son is 24 and argues with everything I say and now has abusive tendencies. I have lost hope and now feel I have to protect myself from my own kids. Otherwise, it causes me so much depression I can't function. I'm truly heartbroken by this. Once they're adults it's too late. Now I wish I would have kept them from him. But that's something I never thought was right to do to a child.
I unfortunately the other parent- alienated parent- for 2 of my kids now and it’s so painful… it’s hard when I already suffer with extreme depression and suicidal ideation then they do this
He also started dating and moved my best friend of 15 years so he’s alienating me and trying to make her like their new mom it’s so insane and he thinks it’s okay
Not mentioned during this live is when the alienator enlists the targeted parents' family members to enable them and be their flying monkeys. Alienators can be very cool, calm, collected while manipulating and targeted parents are agitated, angry and frustrated. Alienators can look very innocent to those they choose to enable them.
I totally understand the dangers involved in alienating (fancy wotd for turning the heart of a child from the other parent.... What is difficult to understand, and also hard find on the internet, is when there are definite dangers caused to the child/children by one or both of the parents.
What then?
For example, very few parents are exactly alike, one may not smoke, drink, or do drugs. Yet the other does. What do we call the parent that cautions their kids from the other parent because of their lifestyle???
Are we alienating our kids from friends when we suggest/caution them in staying away from "foul" friends?
What if one parent has a few rules and the other parent has almost no family rules?
What if the foul parent allows their daughters (ages 14-17) to not come home at night (sleepovers) or come home at 2,3, or 4 in the morning?
What if one parent "negligently" allows the minor daughters to engage in sex/ drinking/ light drug use???
Would cautioning your kids not to approve of the other parent's character still be considered alienating the child?
Is there any video information on handling these types of situations?
6:07
"There's two truths"? Not sure what was meant by that, but it feels exactly like gaslighting and dismissing abuse as "high conflict".
Right in the beginning stages of frighting for my girls. My eldest threatened suicide if she saw me a week after being with her mother. My daughter is on the spectrum and my ex has resisted getting her help or even reducing stress in her life.
My ex wife but an emergency temporary order change so I haven’t seen my daughter for weeks. Seen I her evidence she was texting them late at night for an hour or more coaching them fishing for information on me.
It was literally a transcript of the alienation but she has no self awareness … to see this…
If the kid is thinking he's one parent away from being orphaned THEN HE FEELS ABANDONED BY THE NON-CUSTODIAL PARENT, DUH.. My alienating mother didn't let me think I would be orphaned, SHE EXPLICITLY TOLD ME SO by threatening to "run away" and saying things like she wished she was dead in her meltdowns. One thing nobody addresses is the betrayal of the divorce and family court itself. You pointed out that kids notice hypocrisy. Probably it wouldn't hurt so-called adults to treat their children less hypocritically. Family Court pretending it's trying to find what's best for the child is preposterous. It may be trying to find what's least bad for the child but anyone trying to do what's best for the child doesn't reduce the assets and parental attention to which he'll have access by more than half.
The parent who leaves starting another family he's going to try to like better is looking out for himself AT HIS KID'S EXPENSE and so is the mother whether she stays single or remarries. Step and half siblings are an inevitable motherfucking nightmare when one of these parents dies, too. When the younger half-siblings think they either deserve everything or more than an equal share and step-siblings who already have their own two parents want in on a situation that doesn't concern them generally this kind of parent caves under the influence of subsequent spouses.
My dad didn't notice he was alienated because I stood up to my mother's gaslighting as much as I could, and because the only way she tried to gaslight me about him was to tell me I came back crying saying I didn't know what I was going to do since my dad and stepmother wanted me to go live with them. I was only seven years old but I knew the bitch was lying because I knew they damn sure didn't want me coming to live with them. I'm absolutely certain the only reason she didn't try to alienate me was because she continued to use me to shake him down. IF IT HAD NOT BEEN FOR THAT I HAVE NO DOUBT SHE'D HAVE FABRICATED ENMITY FOR MY FATHER WITHIN ME WHICH WOULD'VE PROMPTED HIM TO GIVE CHASE. She was nonetheless very much the profile of an alienator but being unquestioned meant nobody caught it and she made me her Munchausen proxy. I left home at 13 and as it turned out boarding school was the best thing that ever happened to me. Surely there is no monster better-situated to abuse any more mercilessly than the single parent of an only child, so I applaud the parents who are bothered enough by being alienated to do something about it. I think they'd find it surprisingly useful however to begin by getting honest with themselves. Unless their kids are the dumbasses they seem to take them for..
Hard to avoid alienation and still protect children if one parent is using and dealing drugs, getting duis etc.
There are cases where you have to protect a child from the other parent, and that is in the case of dealing with drugs, amongst others, because if you don't do it, and distance yourself from that person, the courts can remove the child from you as well, for not having acted in the best interest of the child. But, that is not called alienation, but estrangement, according to this video. That's justifiable, and even expected from you.
Spot on.
How does one cope when their ex is part of secret societies and their rage is over the top!
Start seeing a TRauma Therapist! Get some Help, stay Active, Eat well, Est. a Support System, 4 the Day, you'll Walk Out, or FORCE you to, if you Ever Leave, first!
Know, there's NO going Back!
What about the mental impact on the alienated aren’t?
They have not been impacted at all
Thank you for this. I have a question that I’m hoping you can answer generally, at least:
If an alienated child (one who’s documented by therapists as not well and who is in the middle of a long and drawn out court case) is prescribed Nortriptyline for migraines, without the AP divulging to the prescribing neurologist what is going on,… should we be concerned about the FDA Black Box on this medication for people younger than 24?
Is this an issue I should press (alienated grandmother here) in terms of getting someone to out 1 and 1 together, or am I overreacting to the Black Box warning?
Thank you.
Any drug is extremely dangerous to any human's (especially a child, teens, young adult, or elderly's) mental and physical health and development. Drugs are prescribed solely for the profit of the medical cartel! They are targeting any person who unwittingly gets caught in thier web, after having normal mental and physical reactions or symptoms of unresolved family problems, or from having normal symptoms of ill health, due to pills/vacines/"remedies", etc..! The medical system is taking advantage of hurt unaware people, just like a wolf goes after lost sheep! They are merciless and just like the court system and their lawyers, counselors, evaluators, etc.. they will destroy the child and then the entire family and any future family, if no one intervenes in a godly way! They do this for their own greedy profit and don't care who they hurt! Even if they wanted to help, they are required to follow their protocols and would be punished and loose money and their job if they didn't do things that ultimately divide and destroy the family and each persons health!
It is extremely important to get your grandson off all drugs (prescription, OTC, or street drugs), and also, off any alcohol, herbal remedies, supplements, ASAP (they are all non-nutritive, and so are potential toxins/poisons)! Toxins can provide temporary relief of symptoms, by deadening nerves, temporarily, but there is no real healing, and often, damage and addictions overs, just like with alcohol or street drugs!
It is extremely important to very slowly taper off any of these toxins, in order to avoid severe life threatening, withdrawal symptoms. But beware that if you go to the Dr or any "professional" health or naturopath, or especially psychological, or medical or rehab etc... "expert" to search for help to taper off, then these "experts" will cause too rapid of a taper, or do "cold turkey" withdraw, or switch the drug to another toxin (and tell you that this is safe, or just temporary to help the taper), when it won't!
Find supportive Christlike help if at all possible and decrease very slowly and safely (it may take months) to prevent severe adverse withdraw symptoms.
Mathew 10:16. "Behold, I send you forth as sheep in the midst of wolves: be ye therefore wise as serpents, and harmless as doves." Study and follow the KJV scriptures for guidance and for finding help to bring reconciliation required to re-unite family and friends, and help everyone out of the antichrist, "beast systems" (medical and court/government cartels, and false "Church")! Listen to godly sermons at "law of Liberty Baptist Church, Jacksonville FL, you tube" Especially listen to the short video called "eternal life" so as to make sure everyone is 100% sure they are going to heaven when they die!
The part about a kid "acting" different when they are alone with the alienated parent. The facts are that a child will seem to have fun with you but they will get on the phone with that alienator and say it's horrible. They will definitely go home and report everything they saw at your house. And they will turn on you the second they get home.
Dillon Sweeney
Daulton Sweeney
Anja Sweeney
Dustin Sweeney
Children are a delicate morsel to a narcissist, to be enjoyed with a nice Chablis.
Its always NPD, Borderline. The parent who is emotionally distraught is most likely the victim. The one who is playing keepaway is the issue. Evaluators and forensic psychologists virtually always get it backward
This guy does not fill me with hope at all
I started a you tube chanel. Angie DiCosimo- miller . The last three I posted shows how much a malignant narcissist can ruin the kids. My daughter would rock back and forth holding her head so afraid of believing the brainwashing. He would sit her on a chair and walk around her. The caseworker who was to investigate him saw issues but fell in love with him and married him and took part in it.
At 14 she overdosed with Tylenol so afraid of hurting me like her older siblings. We got her straightened out but at 28 there was another breakdown and now all the brainwashing came through and she believes everything her father put into her mind. I watched her start to do it with her kids and her daughter looking as suicidal as her.
My ex has repeatedly set me up for 21 years and I always found and protected myself but this time he used her and I didn’t see it coming. We lost 3 foster kids we were to adopt and due to two people lying and the state shutting down for Covid we are waiting for an appeal decision where by the grace of god we had agency personal in my home the same time their two guys lied saying an 18 month old was on the road for 30 minutes while they yelled. Thank God my neighbor took a vacation day that day and also went to testify also. But I was actually set up because not only did they set me up and her tell lies to her siblings to destroy the limited relationship with my other kids but she had to make sure we also couldn’t adopt.
Seeing a lot of BPD signs which as things have occurred to other people with her behaviors I feel so horrible. Yet she also had a wonderful side. She can’t recall memories of her childhood but is now filling in memories of people that allowed their kids to do things I didn’t allow.