I am reading allll your amazing comments and have tears!!! Wow you all inspire me everyday and I just love this community and how supportive everyone is. You all Are brave and rad and kick ass. Love you all 🌈🔥😍😘🙌🏽🎉😩😩🥰🏳️🌈🥳
It's really interesting to see how what Alayna shared on her coming out again video is actually super similar to Bre's and Willow's coming out stories. The "but I love my boyfriend" and later realizing you love him as a person/best friend/etc and not romantically, and the whole "well I've dated men and I didn't puke or anything so I can't be a lesbian".
What I usually explain to my friends is that the realisation of being a lesbian often comes in two parts. 1.Realising you are attracted to girls. 2.Realising you are not attracted to men. (That's why it's such a common thing for people to first come out as bisexual. Also, people usually come out, at least to themselves, before any relationship with the same sex, so they come out as bi and then, after comparing the experience of a same sex relationship they realise they are gay as Willow said.) And that's of course because of the heteronormative society and also sexism. Cause if you think about it, sexuality for most people (unfortunately) depends on your attraction to men. For society bi men will be gay and bi women will be straight.
Penyrad I think it’s gets confusing with biromantic and bisexual. I struggled because I really do find men attractive but I’m just more comfortable with women. Like I’m biromantic but gay. Everyone is so so different it’s hard to say one thing and everyone checks off the boxes. All we can do is listen and learn 😘😊🌈🌈
I’ve been dating this guy for a while now but I know that I like girls. Sometimes I feel like I’m homophobic to myself just because I don’t want to disappoint people who I love and care about so much. I didn’t even know that biromantic is an actual thing I just thought that it was something I only thought about. I have a feeling towards guys but it’s definitely different than what I feel towards girls. I’m so glad that I now know what I’ve been feeling for so long now! Thanks willow for mentioning and explaining exactly what I (don’t really 😬😄) feel toward men❤️ tysm!!! 🇨🇦 Edit: spelling goofs
@@sarahnelson491 you can be and identify with what makes you more comfortable. And remember you don't have to explain everything you feel. Feelings are feelings and labels so unnecessary some times. Also... don't filter your feelings over other people's opinions🖤
@@CJA32able I use the term girl only cause I call my women girlfriends/girl friends. And I mean it in a cute way obv. I don't really interact with men at all (not that I don't want to, it just happened that all my friends are women and I leave with my mom) so I would use "boys" but I feel like "boys" and "girls" are terms that show familiarity and I only have that with women.
watching this after alaynas new coming out video is wild because the more bre and willow talk about coming out as bi first because they truly loved a man, the more all three of their stories get closer and closer
I'm bisexual and I don't get annoyed if gay people come out as bi first because in my experience they are only doing it because they feel safer coming out as bi than as gay or because they actually think they're bi. You gotta protect yourself so if coming out as bi feels safer to you then go for it! It's the responsibility of other people to not use that as a reason to discredit bisexuals not yours.
I have seen it first hand how people see bisexuals and it breaks my heart and now having a best friend who is one it’s very close to home. I want everyone to feel equal
I wish everyone studied sexuality psychologically. I think one of the difficulties with labels is that sometimes "straight women/men" and "gay women/men" fall in love with people that they don't usually and they think they have to shift their whole definitions of their sexuality when in reality the whole concept of labels is what is restricting them in the first place
I think part of the reason lesbian women tend to come one out as bi first (which was my case as well) it’s because we grow up in a world where liking men is the “default” you have basically your entire life been taught and molded to like men and you might even believe that you’ve liked men and had crushes on men because that’s partially all you knew you were supposed to do. And so when you start realizing you like women or get your first serious crush on a woman you kind of fall back into this “oh but I’ve also had crushes on men before so I must be bi” until for one reason or another you realize that’s not it
Bre was so articulate about everything. I love this content! I’m just coming into myself as a lesbian and hearing you speak about heteronormativity and not being repulsed doesn’t take away from my journey means a lot to me and my peace of mind. Thankyou girls
My first relating to a “gay” in media was actually you Willow. I was 15ish when you were on big brother and tbh the relationship you had with Sarah was the relationship I had with my “best friend” at the time. We dated 2 months later Oops 🤷🏼♀️
I was already wondering if Bre was the mom friend, but with this video where she says, “They’ve been asking me all day for a party.” I’m 100% convinced.
Hi Willow. Loved this one, you 3 together & love the t-shirts. I never came out as bi... always knew I was gay from 6 on up but married & had kids like Bree wanted to do because of my religion at the time (JW) Finally came out at 36... lost all my family except for my kids but the freedom is incredible! Keep making these videos. What a service you are doing for young LGBTQ people. I wish I'd had someone like you to watch when I was young.
Kim Allen wow Kim thank you for sharing your story!! That’s amazing that you started to live for yourself. That is so brave and I know a lot of people are in the same boat as you were. Sharing helps ❤️🧡🏳️🌈🏳️🌈
I'm 41 I've been in relationships with men and women over the years. I am married to my best friend now who is a man but, I didn't marry him because he's a man. We were friends for a long time before we even dated. Eventually we realized we were in love and we just clicked perfectly. I don't care what gender the person is, I care more about how I feel about the person I'm with. If something happened to him and I decided to date again, I would date who ever I clicked with best. Whether it was a man, woman, transgender or so on. I'm not sure how I would label myself. Not that I would want a label anyway. Connecting with someone and love is the most important part to me. My first love was a woman we were together for a couple years and she passed away. I have 3 daughters now, one of them I named after her. Who knows if she had lived maybe I'd still be with her. Life is unpredictable we just need to love one another.
Thank you so much for this video ladies! As a Bi Sexual woman I've had trouble deciding whether, or not I want to tell certain people because of all of the negative things I've heard others say about Bi Sexual people in general. The most common thing I've heard is, its just a phase, you'll get over it. ." I've known that I am attracted to both sexes, since i was a teenager, if 33 years is a phase then i guess I'm doomed lol
Linnae Willis I think you being bisexual is awesome and amazing and you shouldn’t have to worry about who you are. It breaks my heart to hear people say this so I always want everyone to feel apart of the community
I still struggle with this. I identity as biromantic, but I'm constantly doubting myself because I'm Asexual. Growing up I've never had those extra feelings there to prove that I liked someone. I always dated guys and thought I was straight because that was the "norm", but I never had any sort of sexual feelings or desire toward either sex. Only about a year ago (I'm almost 22 now) did I start to consider that I might like girls as well. But because I don't have sexual feelings towards anyone, I'm constantly having to question "do I ACTUALLY like girls in that way, or am I misreading things?" On the flip side there have been times of me questioning if I actually even like guys, or do I just like the idea of being with someone. Most people seem to know without a doubt, and it's so frustrating to constantly be confused
DoryJ Alayna just told me about biromantic!! Which I so am. But gay for sure. But I love men and women just not sexuality attracted to men. Good for you for knowing biromantic though. I’m 31 and just learned this. And came out at 27. Hang in there. You’re doing awesome. You are making progress look at you
@Dory J Thank you for bringing this up. Many things can make it hard to know who we are in the ways society teaches us that we "will" find out. I had such low sex drive between the meds for a brain tumour and sexual abuse trauma that I could not have worked it out. My partner was the same expression-wise after a trauma, tho having gone to a school where LGBT issues were openly discussed and having the opportunity to consider what his truth might be before he was assaulted, I mean for one reason or another, sometimes we don't get the memo. It isn't like there is a LGBTQIA+ Hogwarts letter
I'm going through the exact same thing! Not having sexual desire for anyone makes it so much harder to figure out. Thank you for commenting this, I feel less alone ♥️
The three of you are so great together and glad this friendship worked out so well. You never know how things will play out. It could have just been another colab for content. Have a fabulous day Willow 😊
I am really struggling with my own sexuality, and definitely feel like I can’t be honest with my family. I am so glad I found you all, it’s making me feel less alone. 🤍
Bri, this is the first time I’ve ever heard another person share the same feeling that I had. In high school I knew I liked girls more than guys but figured that I would just marry a guy to make things easier. It’s nice to hear that I wasn’t the only one
Could you guys get back together and do a video about your experiences with compulsory hetero normality? It would be interesting since all three of you had a seemingly different experience with it. From Bre pretty much always knowing she was gay, to you not knowing till all of a sudden as an adult, going straight from hetero to lesbian. And Alaina came to the realization, identified as bi, and then later as lesbian. So how was each of your experiences with thinking maybe you should be with men differed because of that.
Same thing as an asexual lol of thinking that I was straight and then bisexual and now I know I’m a biromantic asexual. I didn’t want people to think I was lying or that I was confused because I couldn’t articulate my feelings
Great video! Especially Bre in the beginning about (haha, that sounded Canadian in my head) not coming out in a big way. It is good for people to know that you don't have to sit people down and turn it into a conversation. I was asked about my relationship with a friend (who was a girl) by my parents. They thought I was in love with her. I told them I wasn't, but that I could fall in love with both men and women. So that was that. And then later I went on a boat at the canal parade in Amsterdam and moved to a lesbian communal living (don't know the right term) appartement. That was my coming out. I did have, and still do have, to correct people cause they think I'm a lesbian and I indentify as pansexual. And the coming out continues. Again a good point from Bre. Thanks for this ladies! Lots of love, Marieke
I was having a bored moment surfing through RUclips when I stumbled open your podcasts (think that’s the right term, I’m old and not very social media savvy,sorry) I found your content funny and uplifting. I’ve been out for a long time 1982 to be exact way before social media or even computers were a thing and coming out is always a confusing time. Tell your viewers that whatever sexual orientation they are just be happy ,love hard and love life be whoever you wish to be and happiness and love will find you. I know!Happiness found me and graced me with the love of a beautiful woman who still loves me 26 years later. Keep up the great content and may all your lives be blessed 🤗❤️
Dodie helped me with that, her “she” video was exactly what I was feeling (soul destroying crush on a close friend hehe) and then reading the comments and seeing how many people had gone through the same thing was incredible
This is sooooooo relatable. Just came out as lesbian after having identifies as Bi for four years. I ended up dating a man but it was so uncomfortable but it was like at least I don't have to be gay now. Glad I finally did it though.
This video is 5 months old but I just wanna thank you Alayna!! I'm recently working on coming out as bi, but I'm also married to the same guy I've been with since high school so everyone in my life sees me as straight unless I work up the nerve to tell them. I keep thinking about calling my mom and then I think well what if she thinks my marriage is in trouble or it's fake because I've never been with a woman, etc. I've been beating myself up in the EXACT same way about "stirring the pot if it doesn't really matter" and I needed to hear that it does matter 😭❤️
Hi Willow plus 2 others, another great video that is really trying to show the world what the difference between bi and gay is and how people have come out. As a straight person your videos are telling me what the LGBTQ+ community is all about which is the way it should be. Till the next video Martin🇬🇧
My youngest told me how much they love girls but that when they grew up they'd probably marry a man. Their face just lit up when I told them they didn't have to and since they'd only ever had crushes on girls, that they should probably marry a girl. And we know several married lesbian couples! The hetero script is so strong. Thanks for sharing your stories
love this discussion so much and really relate to it. especially talking about heteronormativity like literally all throughout grade school i was told oh you can only like boys that way etc and so when i was finally like oh i really do like girls in that way, it took a long time to figure out how i even felt about boys. i spent years trying to fit in with all my friends and watched others being bullied etc for feeling how i really felt that i just accepted that it was the way it had to be. it took me years to actually accept and understand who i really am.
I had been out to just about everyone I knew for fifteen years and was in a serious relationship when I realized, I had forgotten to tell my family... lol It was just so normalized and such a non-event for me that it just never happened. We never talked about crushes or romantic relationships, don't really know why, and there was so much other drama going on that it just slipped my mind. When I realized, and my family knew my partner at the time, I was like, oh we're dating! We have been for years! And my family was all like, oh cool, good for you, we're happy that you're happy! And that was it lol It's such a non-story that it's just sort of hilarious now..?
I didn't have a big "coming out" either. My parents knew I'd broken up with the guy I was dating, and asked if I was dating anybody new. I told them I was dating the girl who worked at the store on the corner of our street. They asked if I wanted to bring my girlfriend to Thanksgiving. A little while later they asked if I was just dating girls now, or both. Then we just went back to our conversation!
you spoke about people who first helped you guys realise your identities and my firsts were people like melanie murphy ect but i want to thank you guys for speaking your truth and this video as the journey of acceptance never really stops and you guys mean so much to me in my coming out and acceptance journey. i love you all thank you 💓
First youtube video I watched that I connected with was Shannon Beveridge’s A Letter to You. I probably watched it 15 times the first week I was out because it was just so relevant to me.
I'm actually crying watching this. I relate to this so much. I'm a lesbian and I went through the same thing. I first came out as bi, then pan, and then I finally came to terms with myself and came out as a lesbian. Thanks for making this video. 💕💕
Bree oh my god I feel so validated. I've literally only come out to people casually and like for me that's just more natural and comfortable but I always feel kinda weird about it. Thank youu 💕💕💕
Anna hey, i hope you found the way you’re comfortable :> i went through the same process so i just wanted to say hi fjdkdk i was out for 4 years as bi then 1 month ago i came out as lesbian. love you, take care :>
17:45 This definitely made me cry. Willow, you are a beautiful soul. It's so nice to see there are people ready to stand by and support bisexuals. Sometimes it's not easy, because many (ignorant) people associate it with betraying one's partner, or to threesomes, or to being greedy or confused. So, even though that was addressed to Alayna, thank you for your words.
Raffaella Greco I want everyone to feel heard and apart of the community. I’m not gonna sit back let people be misinformed about bisexuals. It’s all out job to help each other
You guys bring up a lot of good thoughts and conversations!! I grew up in the tail end of the cold war era and ended up going into the Navy after high school. Before HS I realized there was something "different" about me but once in the service it was something that had to be shoved down and denied. I had a security clearance throughout the whole enlistment and was forever in fear of being branded as a homosexual. It took a very long time to figure myself out and it has taken a long time to not be angry about how things are now. You guys are a great relief to see online. I've grown up in the south and didn't have this type of community growing up and I'm glad that this is available.
This was a wonderful and helpful conversation, especially the portion about coming out in the first half of the video. Thank you so much, I really needed to hear that today
I am a lesbian was in a relationship with a bisexual girl for 12 years , I never came out to my family I just said I have a girlfriend she has a son and we are going to raise him together. My family wasnt surprised or my friends I think they knew it . So it was great to just be able not to hide anymore .
I'm 13, in Middle School and Bisexual. I haven't had a lot of experience with girls but I have dated and I know I am for sure bisexual. My friends at school know about me but my family doesn't. I've decided I shouldn't be afraid of my family cause we have a few gay family members. But I don't want to sit everyone down and tell them so I am just going to be me and I am gonna be casual. Not hiding me.
Willow I stopped another Jonas Brothers video just for you lol I came out at 16/17 and it was rough since I come from a very religious family. But Kaelyn and Lucy and Rose and Rosie were so helpful for me in the beginning. I came out as bisexual first to friends, then lesbian, and now I'm most comfortable with the term queer. I loved this video!
I'm almost on the floor laughing about you're outro, especially when Bre said she believed it when Willow said Alayna was 32 😂😂😂 Btw. I just ordered a "We definitely kissed" shirt. Now to the more serious part. I struggled with myself for a long time, knowing that I'm not completely straight. I fell in love with a woman, who I married and have a son with (I still love her). I decided that the best way was not to lable myself and not having to tell anybody. I kept thinking that if I'm married to a woman, then I'm can't be a part of the LGBTQ community so I can only define myself as an ally. The last year was a constant struggle and I managed to "come out" to a few gay friends and to my first cousin once removed (a lesbian). It feels so much better.
Michael R. Micheal congrats on everything this year. You are really living for yourself and being so brave. We love you and support you !!! Amazing. 😘🏳️🌈🙌🏽🎉🌈🌈🌈🌈
The funny thing is that my cousin told me she used to only blame her mother's side for being gay, now she can also blame her father's side 😁. You can look at photos of my journey on my Instagram @michaelrauchmann or maybe even follow me. I awe you a lot for your support and encouragement ♥️💛💚💙💜🌈
I suppose the idea behind "when did you come out" is more linked to, when did you first know yourself and then feel to Express it. That would be the first initial "coming out" I guess.
ugh too real. I've been dating a man for 10+ years but didn't fully figure out I was bi until a few years into the relationship, and before I was in it I'd only kissed a few female friends at the bar (pretending it was for "the boys" or for free drinks but no I really just wanted to kiss girls lol). Liking girls felt a little different from liking guys too (thought I was alone in this but several other bi people have expressed the same thing) so I thought the girl thing just...wasn't real? Things like coming out videos I know help people but they sometimes just stress me out. There are few people that I've actually said the words to--my boyfriend and some friends (usually while under the influence lol). I post a lot of LGBTQ content on social media and post pics at Pride with bi and rainbow flags on my face so like...I'm sure at least some people have figured it out but I have heard people around me repeat the usual shitty stigmas. And a small annoying part of me still sort of shouts in my head to "stop talking about it because it doesn't matter". I do want to be with my partner forever but it does feel sometimes like I'm cut off from the community because so many LGBTQ events where I am are sort of mostly conducive to looking for partners/hook-ups. I did join a group related to one of my interests that just happens to have a lot of queer people in it so that has helped a bit but I kind of wish it could be more. I do have a friend now who started dating my boyfriend's friends who is also bi and I want to talk to her about it more though so far we've just talked queer books. One day at a time, I guess.
I don’t remember exactly when I first came out to my entire family but I do know I was at work and I had a huge crush on a friend who lived in the states she rejected me and I was upset coz her boyfriend who was older than me told everyone he could online that I preyed on young girls (she was 19, I was 27 and he was 33). I told my family via text message. I did initially come out as bi because I have been with men but after dating my female ex for 3 years I knew I was gay
Love this! I’m actually in the middle of figuring out if I’m bi or a lesbian and this helped a lot! Also Willow, I was totally down for the name Canadian Queer Squad!
Kira Rideout best advice I can give. Don’t worry about names and labels just be you and as you meet new people. Fall for more people you’ll figure it out. Time is your best friend
Thanks for mentioning this issue within the community! The amount of compulsory butchness???? actually scared me too in the beginning (f/27/bi) so I('ve) had a long (ongoing) struggle with gender presentation as well as my sexuality, so this video totally resonated with me :OO And give it up for all kinds of lesbians, I'm just sitting here chilling and being... femme-masc... idk... lol (also big kudos to past Alayna :D aw ♥)
I came up with a saying about labels down to how society seems to demand them... "Labels are for product's not people!" Always wanted to merch that so much, so if anyone does, tell me lol
I came out today I'm 32 habe 2 children and an ex husband who was my best friend for 15years we r still friends. But i thought i was just bi my entire life but I'm definitely not i am gay 💕 lots of love from the UK
This is such a good video! I identified with everything you were saying, especially Breanne, your statement about coming out every day of your life. Same, girl. And the conversation around using bisexual as a stepping stone, intentionally or unintentionally. For me it was unintentional as well. I had a son with a man and was engaged to a man before that so I assumed I had to be bisexual when I realized I was attracted to women, around 22. Then after my son's dad and I had some distance I realized, after two years of identifying as bisexual that I'm not. I have zero desire to ever be with a man again, romantically or physically. I am gay and have no problem with that or anyone knowing that and yet I still struggle identifying with the word lesbian, I'm much more comfortable calling myself gay... Even though it means the same thing 🤷♀️.
When I was in my early teens, when things were so much different I wanted to be a girl, but that just couldn't happen, there was no LGBTQ movement, no internet or mobile phones, worse still I wanted to be a gay girl that has never changed but how could you ever explain that feeling? Now I'm married, too old do do anything about it and my youngest daughter is the same age as Willow. But I have always been fond of gay women and tolerant of everyone else. So basically made my bed and have to lie in it. Are there any others like me? xx 🏳️🌈🇬🇧👍🧓😊
Thank you for a great conversation. I'm older than all of you and still finding my way. I've always hated labels but this is different. This would really help to know where to fit in. All three of you are incredibly strong, beautiful, intelligent women, regardless of who you love. Love is Love and Love is Beautiful. Thank you for sharing your stories to help us on our journey to freedom as well. 😊
I am reading allll your amazing comments and have tears!!! Wow you all inspire me everyday and I just love this community and how supportive everyone is. You all
Are brave and rad and kick ass. Love you all 🌈🔥😍😘🙌🏽🎉😩😩🥰🏳️🌈🥳
We love yu too willow keep up the good work❤👍👍
Are you really the oldest of the trio?
Willow your so cool and Kind to all I'm a gay Male I'm full of life Love your videos
@@charlieirvin5423 willow is truly a amazing person!
❤️🙌
Bre literally thought I was ACTUALLY 32 I'll never recover
#justiceforalayna #stopthebullying
Honestly thought you were 32 and believed Willow Haha but I was also like damn I wanna look young like Alayna when I turn 32😂😂😂
I have always thought you were 23-25 so I was shook when you said 27 and Bre thought you were 32 xD time is weird
I believed Willow too lmao It didnt seem like she was joking
But like what’s wrong with 32?????? It’s an awesome age
coming back to this after alayna’s coming out 🥺 my heart
"I'm clearly not gay" 👀
It's really interesting to see how what Alayna shared on her coming out again video is actually super similar to Bre's and Willow's coming out stories. The "but I love my boyfriend" and later realizing you love him as a person/best friend/etc and not romantically, and the whole "well I've dated men and I didn't puke or anything so I can't be a lesbian".
This hurt so much to watch! You could see her thinking so deeply during their stories! Gosh.
Ikr
I want her to react to this
“I’m not gay, I’m really not gay” -Alayna (a lesbian)
Contagion effect
Anybody here after Alayna came out again as gay? xD
Me🙋🏻♀️
me too
Meee and is funny 🤣
yeah and it makes the video so much funnier :D
Guess it's just "3 gays" now, not 2 and a half :)
😂💀💀👌
Drink every time I say "mm hm"
drink every time your left eye is cut out of frame
Do you want us to have alcohol poisoning Alayna?! It's 22 minutes, god!
Same with B saying “mmm. . . Yeah.”
You're just channeling your future psychologist-self!!!
And I cut so many out already. You thought a lot is video. Good for you 👍🏼👍🏼
I never actually came out i just make jokes about it until people catch on
Same tho
I use to joke soo so much about it hahaha
@@WillowFaith "use to" ???
Until they catch on? 🙄 yikes. I can't. Still closeted. 😞
OH MY GOD PLEASE ACTUALLY DO AN ALAYNA, BRE, WILLOW PODCAST I WOULD LISTEN TO THAT SO MUCH!
Edit: Call it "Two and a Half Gays"
I'd listen to it too!!
I SECOND THIS COMMENT
I came to the comments to say we need this to be a podcast. Glad to see that so many people agree.
Yesss
Omg yes please!!! That would be so awesome!! :O
What I usually explain to my friends is that the realisation of being a lesbian often comes in two parts. 1.Realising you are attracted to girls. 2.Realising you are not attracted to men. (That's why it's such a common thing for people to first come out as bisexual. Also, people usually come out, at least to themselves, before any relationship with the same sex, so they come out as bi and then, after comparing the experience of a same sex relationship they realise they are gay as Willow said.) And that's of course because of the heteronormative society and also sexism. Cause if you think about it, sexuality for most people (unfortunately) depends on your attraction to men. For society bi men will be gay and bi women will be straight.
Penyrad I think it’s gets confusing with biromantic and bisexual. I struggled because I really do find men attractive but I’m just more comfortable with women. Like I’m biromantic but gay.
Everyone is so so different it’s hard to say one thing and everyone checks off the boxes.
All we can do is listen and learn 😘😊🌈🌈
I’ve been dating this guy for a while now but I know that I like girls. Sometimes I feel like I’m homophobic to myself just because I don’t want to disappoint people who I love and care about so much. I didn’t even know that biromantic is an actual thing I just thought that it was something I only thought about. I have a feeling towards guys but it’s definitely different than what I feel towards girls. I’m so glad that I now know what I’ve been feeling for so long now! Thanks willow for mentioning and explaining exactly what I (don’t really 😬😄) feel toward men❤️ tysm!!! 🇨🇦
Edit: spelling goofs
@@sarahnelson491 you can be and identify with what makes you more comfortable. And remember you don't have to explain everything you feel. Feelings are feelings and labels so unnecessary some times. Also... don't filter your feelings over other people's opinions🖤
I think one thing to recognize is it’s problematic to call women “girls”. Men were called men. Women were reduced to “girls” here.
@@CJA32able I use the term girl only cause I call my women girlfriends/girl friends. And I mean it in a cute way obv. I don't really interact with men at all (not that I don't want to, it just happened that all my friends are women and I leave with my mom) so I would use "boys" but I feel like "boys" and "girls" are terms that show familiarity and I only have that with women.
watching this after alaynas new coming out video is wild because the more bre and willow talk about coming out as bi first because they truly loved a man, the more all three of their stories get closer and closer
YES, I was about to comment basically the same thing.
So cutee
I'm bisexual and I don't get annoyed if gay people come out as bi first because in my experience they are only doing it because they feel safer coming out as bi than as gay or because they actually think they're bi. You gotta protect yourself so if coming out as bi feels safer to you then go for it! It's the responsibility of other people to not use that as a reason to discredit bisexuals not yours.
THIS! 👏🏼
We need a Allison, Dallas, and Julia video!!
Theresa Siobhan yeeees that would be awesome 😁
Already pitching the idea. We love it 😍🙌🏽🙌🏽
YES YES YES YES I AGREEEEE
Oops lol
Good morning willow faith❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤😊😊😊🎉❤
Willow!! I teared up when you told Alayna that you'd do everything you can to make sure she's seen and heard!!! You're a great friend!
I have seen it first hand how people see bisexuals and it breaks my heart and now having a best friend who is one it’s very close to home. I want everyone to feel equal
I wish everyone studied sexuality psychologically. I think one of the difficulties with labels is that sometimes "straight women/men" and "gay women/men" fall in love with people that they don't usually and they think they have to shift their whole definitions of their sexuality when in reality the whole concept of labels is what is restricting them in the first place
@Lillina Falcon! So true!
I totally agree but I still like labels 😂☠🏳️🌈♾
Love this! Lucia, message me on Instagram @venturewithvanessa! I’d love to go Instagram live with you so you could share your knowledge with people
I also came out as bisexual first. I did the whole "I'll marry a man because it's an easier life path" thing.
Still married?
@@BBbizzle nope
Ahh the "they kissed" "we definitley kissed" "we never kissed" shirts! First thing i noticed
@Sophie Kersten willow is always saying alayna and her have kissed alayna is always saying they never have and bre is the witness
@Sophie Kersten ah yes
Like the girl made shirts about us kissing. Clearly it changed her life
@@WillowFaith she needs the reminder of the best kiss of her life everytime she gets dressed
@@WillowFaith Of course it changed her life, that video was good.
I think part of the reason lesbian women tend to come one out as bi first (which was my case as well) it’s because we grow up in a world where liking men is the “default” you have basically your entire life been taught and molded to like men and you might even believe that you’ve liked men and had crushes on men because that’s partially all you knew you were supposed to do. And so when you start realizing you like women or get your first serious crush on a woman you kind of fall back into this “oh but I’ve also had crushes on men before so I must be bi” until for one reason or another you realize that’s not it
Bre was so articulate about everything. I love this content! I’m just coming into myself as a lesbian and hearing you speak about heteronormativity and not being repulsed doesn’t take away from my journey means a lot to me and my peace of mind. Thankyou girls
Alayna has come such a long way, and it is an interesting story, so proud of her and happy for her now!!
My first relating to a “gay” in media was actually you Willow. I was 15ish when you were on big brother and tbh the relationship you had with Sarah was the relationship I had with my “best friend” at the time. We dated 2 months later Oops 🤷🏼♀️
So crazy!!! I truly believe if I didn’t have that relationship I wouldn’t have came out. And now I have this great online family.
Willow Faith things always end up working out 🤷🏼♀️ but this shows the importance of LBGT+ content! More gays on BB!
@@WillowFaith 😵😵 this is why you look so familiar!!
Your relationship with Sarah reminded me of my relationship with my BFF in MS and HS. ❤❤
I was already wondering if Bre was the mom friend, but with this video where she says, “They’ve been asking me all day for a party.” I’m 100% convinced.
Hi Willow. Loved this one, you 3 together & love the t-shirts. I never came out as bi... always knew I was gay from 6 on up but married & had kids like Bree wanted to do because of my religion at the time (JW) Finally came out at 36... lost all my family except for my kids but the freedom is incredible! Keep making these videos. What a service you are doing for young LGBTQ people. I wish I'd had someone like you to watch when I was young.
Kim Allen wow Kim thank you for sharing your story!! That’s amazing that you started to live for yourself. That is so brave and I know a lot of people are in the same boat as you were. Sharing helps ❤️🧡🏳️🌈🏳️🌈
Wow. Strength and Love to you.
Bree is so well spoken
I'm 41 I've been in relationships with men and women over the years. I am married to my best friend now who is a man but, I didn't marry him because he's a man. We were friends for a long time before we even dated. Eventually we realized we were in love and we just clicked perfectly. I don't care what gender the person is, I care more about how I feel about the person I'm with. If something happened to him and I decided to date again, I would date who ever I clicked with best. Whether it was a man, woman, transgender or so on. I'm not sure how I would label myself. Not that I would want a label anyway. Connecting with someone and love is the most important part to me. My first love was a woman we were together for a couple years and she passed away. I have 3 daughters now, one of them I named after her. Who knows if she had lived maybe I'd still be with her. Life is unpredictable we just need to love one another.
YALL THIS WAS DEEP AF. love these kind of convos 👏🏼✨
Who’s channel is this 😂
Bre has such good words of wisdom and I love her
Aubrey Lubrano she speaks so well the OG lesbian
Thank you so much for this video ladies! As a Bi Sexual woman I've had trouble deciding whether, or not I want to tell certain people because of all of the negative things I've heard others say about Bi Sexual people in general. The most common thing I've heard is, its just a phase, you'll get over it. ." I've known that I am attracted to both sexes, since i was a teenager, if 33 years is a phase then i guess I'm doomed lol
Linnae Willis I think you being bisexual is awesome and amazing and you shouldn’t have to worry about who you are. It breaks my heart to hear people say this so I always want everyone to feel apart of the community
The shirts are genius, when I noticed I busted out laughing 😂
I still struggle with this. I identity as biromantic, but I'm constantly doubting myself because I'm Asexual. Growing up I've never had those extra feelings there to prove that I liked someone. I always dated guys and thought I was straight because that was the "norm", but I never had any sort of sexual feelings or desire toward either sex. Only about a year ago (I'm almost 22 now) did I start to consider that I might like girls as well. But because I don't have sexual feelings towards anyone, I'm constantly having to question "do I ACTUALLY like girls in that way, or am I misreading things?" On the flip side there have been times of me questioning if I actually even like guys, or do I just like the idea of being with someone. Most people seem to know without a doubt, and it's so frustrating to constantly be confused
DoryJ Alayna just told me about biromantic!! Which I so am. But gay for sure. But I love men and women just not sexuality attracted to men. Good for you for knowing biromantic though. I’m 31 and just learned this. And came out at 27. Hang in there. You’re doing awesome. You are making progress look at you
@Dory J Thank you for bringing this up. Many things can make it hard to know who we are in the ways society teaches us that we "will" find out.
I had such low sex drive between the meds for a brain tumour and sexual abuse trauma that I could not have worked it out. My partner was the same expression-wise after a trauma, tho having gone to a school where LGBT issues were openly discussed and having the opportunity to consider what his truth might be before he was assaulted, I mean for one reason or another, sometimes we don't get the memo. It isn't like there is a LGBTQIA+ Hogwarts letter
I'm going through the exact same thing! Not having sexual desire for anyone makes it so much harder to figure out. Thank you for commenting this, I feel less alone ♥️
could you make a video on compulsory heterosexuality?
Yes please!!!
PLEASE
I think the better question is "when did you come out to yourself?"
The three of you are so great together and glad this friendship worked out so well. You never know how things will play out. It could have just been another colab for content. Have a fabulous day Willow 😊
Jim W I am so grateful for you and them
And to have LGBTQ’s friends like best friends. Having these convos helps me too
I am really struggling with my own sexuality, and definitely feel like I can’t be honest with my family. I am so glad I found you all, it’s making me feel less alone. 🤍
❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤
Bri, this is the first time I’ve ever heard another person share the same feeling that I had. In high school I knew I liked girls more than guys but figured that I would just marry a guy to make things easier. It’s nice to hear that I wasn’t the only one
Could you guys get back together and do a video about your experiences with compulsory hetero normality?
It would be interesting since all three of you had a seemingly different experience with it. From Bre pretty much always knowing she was gay, to you not knowing till all of a sudden as an adult, going straight from hetero to lesbian. And Alaina came to the realization, identified as bi, and then later as lesbian.
So how was each of your experiences with thinking maybe you should be with men differed because of that.
I would love to see that, too!
Same thing as an asexual lol of thinking that I was straight and then bisexual and now I know I’m a biromantic asexual. I didn’t want people to think I was lying or that I was confused because I couldn’t articulate my feelings
Great video! Especially Bre in the beginning about (haha, that sounded Canadian in my head) not coming out in a big way. It is good for people to know that you don't have to sit people down and turn it into a conversation.
I was asked about my relationship with a friend (who was a girl) by my parents. They thought I was in love with her. I told them I wasn't, but that I could fall in love with both men and women. So that was that. And then later I went on a boat at the canal parade in Amsterdam and moved to a lesbian communal living (don't know the right term) appartement. That was my coming out. I did have, and still do have, to correct people cause they think I'm a lesbian and I indentify as pansexual. And the coming out continues. Again a good point from Bre.
Thanks for this ladies! Lots of love, Marieke
moordt and it’s important you always correct and identify yourself just because so people know or don’t assume. The more we know 😊😊😊
I was having a bored moment surfing through RUclips when I stumbled open your podcasts (think that’s the right term, I’m old and not very social media savvy,sorry) I found your content funny and uplifting. I’ve been out for a long time 1982 to be exact way before social media or even computers were a thing and coming out is always a confusing time. Tell your viewers that whatever sexual orientation they are just be happy ,love hard and love life be whoever you wish to be and happiness and love will find you. I know!Happiness found me and graced me with the love of a beautiful woman who still loves me 26 years later. Keep up the great content and may all your lives be blessed 🤗❤️
Dodie helped me with that, her “she” video was exactly what I was feeling (soul destroying crush on a close friend hehe) and then reading the comments and seeing how many people had gone through the same thing was incredible
This is sooooooo relatable. Just came out as lesbian after having identifies as Bi for four years. I ended up dating a man but it was so uncomfortable but it was like at least I don't have to be gay now. Glad I finally did it though.
This video is 5 months old but I just wanna thank you Alayna!! I'm recently working on coming out as bi, but I'm also married to the same guy I've been with since high school so everyone in my life sees me as straight unless I work up the nerve to tell them. I keep thinking about calling my mom and then I think well what if she thinks my marriage is in trouble or it's fake because I've never been with a woman, etc.
I've been beating myself up in the EXACT same way about "stirring the pot if it doesn't really matter" and I needed to hear that it does matter 😭❤️
Hi Willow plus 2 others, another great video that is really trying to show the world what the difference between bi and gay is and how people have come out. As a straight person your videos are telling me what the LGBTQ+ community is all about which is the way it should be. Till the next video Martin🇬🇧
Thank you Bre for the part in the beginning about coming out and it not needing to be a big moment.
My youngest told me how much they love girls but that when they grew up they'd probably marry a man. Their face just lit up when I told them they didn't have to and since they'd only ever had crushes on girls, that they should probably marry a girl. And we know several married lesbian couples! The hetero script is so strong. Thanks for sharing your stories
Please make this a series it would be fantastic! Thank you guys for being so genuine and loving and serious.
Liked before I even watched it and that's how you know you're obsessed
love this discussion so much and really relate to it. especially talking about heteronormativity like literally all throughout grade school i was told oh you can only like boys that way etc and so when i was finally like oh i really do like girls in that way, it took a long time to figure out how i even felt about boys. i spent years trying to fit in with all my friends and watched others being bullied etc for feeling how i really felt that i just accepted that it was the way it had to be. it took me years to actually accept and understand who i really am.
megan kaleah we have all been there. Good for you for accepting and loving yourself.
I had been out to just about everyone I knew for fifteen years and was in a serious relationship when I realized, I had forgotten to tell my family... lol It was just so normalized and such a non-event for me that it just never happened. We never talked about crushes or romantic relationships, don't really know why, and there was so much other drama going on that it just slipped my mind. When I realized, and my family knew my partner at the time, I was like, oh we're dating! We have been for years! And my family was all like, oh cool, good for you, we're happy that you're happy! And that was it lol It's such a non-story that it's just sort of hilarious now..?
Ong i did that too.. didn't know I had to come out
I didn't have a big "coming out" either. My parents knew I'd broken up with the guy I was dating, and asked if I was dating anybody new. I told them I was dating the girl who worked at the store on the corner of our street. They asked if I wanted to bring my girlfriend to Thanksgiving. A little while later they asked if I was just dating girls now, or both. Then we just went back to our conversation!
What a really amazing point that you don’t have to “come out” officially with the drawn out conversation!!! Never thought of that!
you spoke about people who first helped you guys realise your identities and my firsts were people like melanie murphy ect but i want to thank you guys for speaking your truth and this video as the journey of acceptance never really stops and you guys mean so much to me in my coming out and acceptance journey. i love you all thank you 💓
Luna awww so happy we can pay it forward and just keep helping each other. 🌈🏳️🌈❤️🎉😍
First youtube video I watched that I connected with was Shannon Beveridge’s A Letter to You. I probably watched it 15 times the first week I was out because it was just so relevant to me.
ishie0196 so so good
I'm actually crying watching this. I relate to this so much. I'm a lesbian and I went through the same thing. I first came out as bi, then pan, and then I finally came to terms with myself and came out as a lesbian. Thanks for making this video. 💕💕
That should be a thing "hug your local bisexual"
Lillina Falcon I’ll start it June 2nd national dya
Yes!
Watching this in May 2020,deeply foreshadowing and interesting. Also love how candid you guys are on camera,over all a very wholesome nice video.
Willows question "who was the first LGBT RUclipsr who was a game changer for you" made me happy, cuz that answer for me is Alayna Joy
Boo Bumpkin awwww
Bree oh my god I feel so validated. I've literally only come out to people casually and like for me that's just more natural and comfortable but I always feel kinda weird about it. Thank youu 💕💕💕
willow's comment about supporting alayna made me cry ????
I came out as bi and now I too am starting to think I'm a lesbian wow relatable content
Anna hey, i hope you found the way you’re comfortable :> i went through the same process so i just wanted to say hi fjdkdk i was out for 4 years as bi then 1 month ago i came out as lesbian. love you, take care :>
I keep coming back to this video, it's so comforting
6:53 willows reaction was so sweet 🥺🤍
17:45 This definitely made me cry. Willow, you are a beautiful soul. It's so nice to see there are people ready to stand by and support bisexuals. Sometimes it's not easy, because many (ignorant) people associate it with betraying one's partner, or to threesomes, or to being greedy or confused. So, even though that was addressed to Alayna, thank you for your words.
Raffaella Greco I want everyone to feel heard and apart of the community. I’m not gonna sit back let people be misinformed about bisexuals. It’s all out job to help each other
Watching that season of big brother now like.. I can *see* you struggling. I can feel it. I know it so well. I’m so happy you’re all happy now
I think i just learned that the word *bisexual* didn't make it to rural Manitoba until 2011.
Blaise Arwyn #truth
Watching this after Alayna’s second coming out. And I had that experience of crying with her and now circling around to this video. -I’m crying again
These videos make me feel better about myself, thank you
You guys bring up a lot of good thoughts and conversations!! I grew up in the tail end of the cold war era and ended up going into the Navy after high school. Before HS I realized there was something "different" about me but once in the service it was something that had to be shoved down and denied. I had a security clearance throughout the whole enlistment and was forever in fear of being branded as a homosexual. It took a very long time to figure myself out and it has taken a long time to not be angry about how things are now.
You guys are a great relief to see online. I've grown up in the south and didn't have this type of community growing up and I'm glad that this is available.
I just did an actual spit-take at Alayna's self-satisfied "I'm clearly not gay :3" like........ GIRL
This was a wonderful and helpful conversation, especially the portion about coming out in the first half of the video. Thank you so much, I really needed to hear that today
"hard flex" on the stevie boebi story .hahaha
Jacob Aeden Tan just has her number NBD
I am a lesbian was in a relationship with a bisexual girl for 12 years , I never came out to my family I just said I have a girlfriend she has a son and we are going to raise him together. My family wasnt surprised or my friends I think they knew it . So it was great to just be able not to hide anymore .
this was so wholesome and I love this a lot okay thanks for coming to my TED Talk
also willows laugh is the most pure thing at the end of the video and WOW icons
You don’t hate it here??
Willow Faith i mean I’ll ALWAYS hate it here just a wee bit less atm
I'm 13, in Middle School and Bisexual. I haven't had a lot of experience with girls but I have dated and I know I am for sure bisexual. My friends at school know about me but my family doesn't. I've decided I shouldn't be afraid of my family cause we have a few gay family members. But I don't want to sit everyone down and tell them so I am just going to be me and I am gonna be casual. Not hiding me.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS HAVE SUCH AMAZING SHIRTS... I gotta start getting inside jokes printed on t-shirts too cause that’s hilarious hahah 😂
11:57
You know this part freaked Alayna out even if she couldn't tell.
It's pretty much exactly how she described it after coming out as gay.
This is cute. Y'all are friend goals!
Willow I stopped another Jonas Brothers video just for you lol I came out at 16/17 and it was rough since I come from a very religious family. But Kaelyn and Lucy and Rose and Rosie were so helpful for me in the beginning. I came out as bisexual first to friends, then lesbian, and now I'm most comfortable with the term queer. I loved this video!
Nairoby Shakke is that documentary good?? It looks amazing hahaa love you
@@WillowFaith the doc is amazing but I may be biased cause i love them 😂 love yoouu
☺awww such a cute story time! Loved hearing the youtubers yall enjoyed 🤟hope you're well willow!
Sarah Selchert I hope the move is going well 😊❤️❤️
oh my god please do a podcast, I need that in my life!!
Thank you for those words of wisdom, Bre. It’s something I really needed to hear ❤️
Get yourself someone who will look at you/analyze you the way Willow does to Alayna
Caitlin West Allen get yourself a friend that is so in love with you she makes t shirts about kissing you
Oh my gosh when you said that about supporting Alayna it was so sudden and nice I almost started crying XD
What Willow told Alayna made me cry
I'm almost on the floor laughing about you're outro, especially when Bre said she believed it when Willow said Alayna was 32 😂😂😂 Btw. I just ordered a "We definitely kissed" shirt. Now to the more serious part. I struggled with myself for a long time, knowing that I'm not completely straight. I fell in love with a woman, who I married and have a son with (I still love her). I decided that the best way was not to lable myself and not having to tell anybody. I kept thinking that if I'm married to a woman, then I'm can't be a part of the LGBTQ community so I can only define myself as an ally. The last year was a constant struggle and I managed to "come out" to a few gay friends and to my first cousin once removed (a lesbian). It feels so much better.
Michael R. Micheal congrats on everything this year. You are really living for yourself and being so brave. We love you and support you !!! Amazing. 😘🏳️🌈🙌🏽🎉🌈🌈🌈🌈
The funny thing is that my cousin told me she used to only blame her mother's side for being gay, now she can also blame her father's side 😁.
You can look at photos of my journey on my Instagram @michaelrauchmann or maybe even follow me.
I awe you a lot for your support and encouragement ♥️💛💚💙💜🌈
This convo really helped me. I love you gals. Videos like this really help us come out 🏳️🌈🏳️🌈🏳️🌈
I suppose the idea behind "when did you come out" is more linked to, when did you first know yourself and then feel to Express it. That would be the first initial "coming out" I guess.
ugh too real. I've been dating a man for 10+ years but didn't fully figure out I was bi until a few years into the relationship, and before I was in it I'd only kissed a few female friends at the bar (pretending it was for "the boys" or for free drinks but no I really just wanted to kiss girls lol). Liking girls felt a little different from liking guys too (thought I was alone in this but several other bi people have expressed the same thing) so I thought the girl thing just...wasn't real? Things like coming out videos I know help people but they sometimes just stress me out. There are few people that I've actually said the words to--my boyfriend and some friends (usually while under the influence lol). I post a lot of LGBTQ content on social media and post pics at Pride with bi and rainbow flags on my face so like...I'm sure at least some people have figured it out but I have heard people around me repeat the usual shitty stigmas. And a small annoying part of me still sort of shouts in my head to "stop talking about it because it doesn't matter". I do want to be with my partner forever but it does feel sometimes like I'm cut off from the community because so many LGBTQ events where I am are sort of mostly conducive to looking for partners/hook-ups. I did join a group related to one of my interests that just happens to have a lot of queer people in it so that has helped a bit but I kind of wish it could be more. I do have a friend now who started dating my boyfriend's friends who is also bi and I want to talk to her about it more though so far we've just talked queer books. One day at a time, I guess.
I don’t remember exactly when I first came out to my entire family but I do know I was at work and I had a huge crush on a friend who lived in the states she rejected me and I was upset coz her boyfriend who was older than me told everyone he could online that I preyed on young girls (she was 19, I was 27 and he was 33). I told my family via text message. I did initially come out as bi because I have been with men but after dating my female ex for 3 years I knew I was gay
Love this! I’m actually in the middle of figuring out if I’m bi or a lesbian and this helped a lot! Also Willow, I was totally down for the name Canadian Queer Squad!
Kira Rideout best advice I can give. Don’t worry about names and labels just be you and as you meet new people. Fall for more people you’ll figure it out. Time is your best friend
Thanks for mentioning this issue within the community! The amount of compulsory butchness???? actually scared me too in the beginning (f/27/bi) so I('ve) had a long (ongoing) struggle with gender presentation as well as my sexuality, so this video totally resonated with me :OO And give it up for all kinds of lesbians, I'm just sitting here chilling and being... femme-masc... idk... lol
(also big kudos to past Alayna :D aw ♥)
I came up with a saying about labels down to how society seems to demand them... "Labels are for product's not people!" Always wanted to merch that so much, so if anyone does, tell me lol
I needed this talk. Real and relatable 💚💕💚
I came out today I'm 32 habe 2 children and an ex husband who was my best friend for 15years we r still friends. But i thought i was just bi my entire life but I'm definitely not i am gay 💕 lots of love from the UK
I love this video, it's so sweet and helpful. I definitely needed this
This is such a good video! I identified with everything you were saying, especially Breanne, your statement about coming out every day of your life. Same, girl. And the conversation around using bisexual as a stepping stone, intentionally or unintentionally. For me it was unintentional as well. I had a son with a man and was engaged to a man before that so I assumed I had to be bisexual when I realized I was attracted to women, around 22. Then after my son's dad and I had some distance I realized, after two years of identifying as bisexual that I'm not. I have zero desire to ever be with a man again, romantically or physically. I am gay and have no problem with that or anyone knowing that and yet I still struggle identifying with the word lesbian, I'm much more comfortable calling myself gay... Even though it means the same thing 🤷♀️.
When I was in my early teens, when things were so much different I wanted to be a girl, but that just couldn't happen, there was no LGBTQ movement, no internet or mobile phones, worse still I wanted to be a gay girl that has never changed but how could you ever explain that feeling? Now I'm married, too old do do anything about it and my youngest daughter is the same age as Willow. But I have always been fond of gay women and tolerant of everyone else. So basically made my bed and have to lie in it. Are there any others like me? xx 🏳️🌈🇬🇧👍🧓😊
I was 30 when RUclips blew up you whipper snappers.😛 I love you ladies seriously.
Thank you for a great conversation. I'm older than all of you and still finding my way. I've always hated labels but this is different. This would really help to know where to fit in. All three of you are incredibly strong, beautiful, intelligent women, regardless of who you love. Love is Love and Love is Beautiful. Thank you for sharing your stories to help us on our journey to freedom as well. 😊
This content is gold. Thank you, all three of you, you're awesome (just like your shirts)
Sacha Nuage my shirt haha
@@WillowFaith Yes, you're right, especially your shirt ^^
Btw that heart made me really happy so thank you!! Stay awesome :)