Finagling a Solution || Father Knows Something Podcast
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- Опубликовано: 5 июл 2024
- Welcome back to Father Knows Something! Real People. Real Stories. Real Dad advice with a dash of ADHD, and maybe a couple of millennials chiming in from time to time to add their takes.
This week's episode has Jerry, Morgan, and Justin discussing write-ins from listeners who are finding themselves in situations where a solution needs to be sorted.. one crafty finagled way or another. From taking your pet home from college for the summer to starting to date for the first time.. sometimes a plan of action is not that easy to find. As always, we'll need your help with these ones!
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Index:
00:00 -- Start
02:45 -- Story 1
10:56 -- Story 2
22:01 -- Story 3
35:46 -- Story 4
50:40 -- Story 5
![Eminem - The Death of Slim Shady [Album Trailer]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/X0HIrS6kUYI/mqdefault.jpg)
Story 2: also if that guy says anything about a chore again, I would just look at him and say oh. Thank you for volunteering to help that's so sweet of you. And walk away.
Story 3: your fiancé is abusing you. You need to leave. I’m not one to scream divorce immediately, but this is you and your child’s safety we’re talking about.
I'll never understand how people don't discuss parenting methods before having kids, especially in this day and age
Story #3 - unless he can agree to see your side of parenting I think you need to leave him. I'm so sorry for you and it will be hard but seriously I've been through this and I am so much better for it. My relationship with my son (will be 5 in june) could not be stronger. I get to be the gentle parent I want to be, my beautiful son will come to me with all of his emotions and he's learning how to work through them in the best way. We're much better off. I left his dad almost 3 years ago and it was the best thing I've ever done. He refused therapy, he refused working on it, he just called me stupid and let his mom call me stupid... well... I'm not stupid... and you aren't either. I am sorry that this is the advice I'm giving- it's the only advice I know because it's the path I chose. Whatever you choose I hope you know that you're a great mom!
abosulutely. If he doesn`t do therapy run. Ptsd from war and his childhood is terrible. But if he refuses to get help it`s not worth traumatising the kid and creating more ptsd for eveyone.
@stephjovi this^^!!! I tried staying with my ex for the kids and it was miserable. I realized that if I continued to stay for the kids they wouldn't know a healthy relationship because I wasn't modeling it. Thankfully my son was young enough that he won't remember any of it. I hope OP can see her worth and realizes that if he won't work on it that it's okay to leave to be better, and that it's absolutely possible to be happy again once you're free
I was going to say this as well. He is abusive, she doesn’t want her child to grow up being abused. Sadly it seems he has left her with no other option.
Story 3. Little boy is giving me cats in the cradle vibes. 💯 He won't want to know his dad when he's old enough to have a choice. My parents were very strict and believed in corporal punishment with me and my brother's but they wouldn't dare do that with my nephew's coz.....wait for it. They have evolved and adapted. I'm Asian and I understand that culture but my parents have mellowed taking on everything this new generation has taught them.
I spend about $50 a month for my cat, I get him a big bag of good food about $30 and a BIG THING of litter $20 and that lasts him a whole month !
Anything with corn, soy, wheat, or byproducts is extremely bad for cats and dogs! Watch out for that in any food you buy especially ones recommended by vets (they get very minimal NUTRITIONAL training)
Story 5: forcing employees to work through a fever should be criminal. An act of reckless disregard for the health of her coworkers and patients, were she actively infectious.
Borrow and lend are two different things lol. Borrow is to receive, lend is to give out.
In my head they are one hahah
Same with who and whom lol
@@TwoHotTakes I can respect that
Jerry, where’s the link for the daughter application? 😂😂
Story 5 - leave the hospital you worked at for less than 90 days OFF your resume completely and act like it didn't happen. They probably weren't going to give you a good reference anyways so it's not a loss. Forget about them & start over 🖤
Story 4: This was refreshing after the previous story! I think you would be a breath of fresh air in the dating world. Most people jump into dating when their young and dumb, some have toxic relationships, some don’t know how to express their feelings or communicate, and it can be messy. The inner work is usually done later in life. You took a different and very smart approach in my opinion! You seem like an emotionally mature and intelligent person that anyone would be lucky to date and get to know and I truly think you will make a great partner/companion to whomever you choose. You not having much dating experience is so minuscule compared to how great of a person you seem to be. Best of luck out there, my friend. :)
Borrow and lend are used depending on who is saying it. If you are the one receiving something then you’re borrowing it, if you’re the one giving something out then you’re lending it out.
Not if you're Morgan 😂
check in for the cleaners😂😂 happy valentines ❤
Story 4: you sound like an amazing, genuine, and caring person. Enjoy dating and don't beat yourself up for lack of dating. You're already ahead of the game with how self aware and caring you are! Best of luck!
Story 3: OP, you are in an abusive relationship. Your child is afraid of his dad. As a child who grew up in an abusive family, please get out now. I wish my mom would have left ny dad. Is there a shelter you can go to? A friend that your fiancé doesn't know about? This is not a healthy relationship. Your child is growing up in an unhealthy home. Please seek therapy and get out now. Please.
This !!☹️
Story 4 OP if you see this, there is nothing wrong with low dating experience at 30. You just start where you are. Talk to people you’re interested in and be clear and honest with your intentions when you know what they are. My husband was exactly the same when we were just friends. He had no idea how to show interest in women, never had a girlfriend, had a few poor sexual experiences from insecurity. We were friends for most of our 20’s, and he used to ask me for advice on picking up social cues from the women he was spending time with. I ended up being his first girlfriend when I decided to jump in. I did end up taking charge because it never would have happened otherwise, and that’s completely fine. You’re not putting the responsibility of the relationship on someone else. It’s up to them how much of a lead they want to take. We’ve been together for 8 years, and his lack of 20’s dating experience never created any issues between us. I never would have even known if he hadn’t told me. All that matters is that you be yourself, be open with what you want, and be willing to admit when you don’t know what you’re doing. Allow yourself to be vulnerable. I love that you know how to just be friends first.
Wow- FATHER KNOWS SOMETHING AND BACHELOR!!! My chores are going to take forever! LOVE YOU GUYS
Never been so early but super excited to listen!
Patreon is my stress reliever! im so glad i hopped on! (hesitated the first time but I took whatever I had and showed up lol) -sam
I ran a rescue for a few years - average cat cost is 20-40$ a month. If you are having doubts, the rescue will take kitty back… I worry that if you take your cat home, they will get rid of him when you’re gone!
Love you guys!
Let's goooo happy Tuesday yall
Story 4: I think it’s fair to communicate this “lack” of dating experience with a potential partner after a few dates BUT don’t let the difference in your experiences make you doubt yourself. I had a similar situation and I found myself constantly telling myself I must be wrong in situations because he was the one with the longterm relationship experience and this must “just be how it is” in relationships. (Honestly he’s say that sometimes too lol) It usually wasn’t true and we were just a horrible match. So be open and honest but still trust yourself
Hiii THT FKS Fam ♥ Hope everyone feels some Love this week, including SELF LOVE, love from friends, love from family. To me, V day/week is more to celebrate Love than purely for couples ❤ I will going to my first ever speed dating even this week ahhh wish me luck lol I don't know what to expect!!!
How to tell if someone is into you:
it’s helps to have a group of friends to talk to! Get out of your head.
Understand first impressions vs getting know to the person. Do these match up?
A crush is a lack of information 😅.
Give yourself time to understand the person in your head and the actual person.
Speaking about inexperience to a point, is needed. Some people have different physical expectations in relationships. It’s nice to be on the same page.
Once you realize this person is more than a friend, that’s a great time to talk about being official and what that means to the both of you. (And the inexperiences )
Be clear with what you’re searching for. speak on it.
No response// indifference is a response.
Not everyone is a friend, not everyone is a lover. But I do hope you find a person who can be both to you ❤
Hi Jerry! I just lost my dad about three months ago, and while no one could ever replace him, I would gladly put in an application to be your daughter 🥰😂
Story 4: I feel this as a neurodivergent, not reading social cues and needing a structure or equation to comprehend social situations. Or sometimes thing you’re doing everything right by the book and things don’t work. Sometimes you just need the right partner though who you can trust to not take advantage of you that will be straight forward and blunt. Good luck but agree, just get out there and be patient
I’ve never been so early. Good morning fam ❤❤
10:56 When my mom wants me to watch her puppy, she pays me in bud. 😂 I don't complain.
Edit: And he is a 50 German Shepherd/ 50 Rottie mix. If that's important. 😂
Just fyi a 2 year old does know what a time out is. lol
My 18 month old sure does lol. You only put them there for a minute or 2 though
Job walking is probably my new fav Morgan mix up
hiiii early FKS fam❤️❤️
Story 3: My dad behaved like this and although he and my mom split when I was 4, the damage was done. The peace and safety we felt when he left was enough to know that was the right decision.
Additionally, your partner is treating you horribly too. Abusively, I would argue. My partner is my teammate and always treats me with kindness and respect. He would never dream to treat me this way and you absolutely deserve better.
Ultimately, it's your decision, but please don't underestimate the damage he is doing to you both. I'm in my 30s now and my dad's behaviour still impacts me today, just like I'm sure your parents behaviour does too.
Thinking of what my mom went through with him makes me feel terrible for her and I'm so glad she cut it off when she did.
Story 5: I would leave this experience off your resume if possible. Otherwise when you get an interview, they may call the manager who fired you and since that manager clearly had it out for you since the beginning, I can't imagine the lies they would tell someone trying to hire you. If I were you I would act like I have been walking dogs and being a batista this whole time and have just been looking for nursing jobs but haven't had any luck. Also don't beat yourself up over this, you dodged a bullet. It would have sucked even more had you gotten used to the job and then the manager fired you at the 90 day mark or whenever they evaluate you. If a manager doesn't want to keep you, they won't. Hoping you find an amazing nursing job that makes you feel fulfilled.
49:04 I love saying “kiss me already” always a hit 🤭
Story 4: I just want to remind the op to try not to feel too pressured to date. There is NO time limit. Experience or not you could find your person any time
Story 1: find a summer program you can work at at your school. Best job I ever had
Last story:
Hold up… I’m an RN. If she got a dr note, regardless of the first 90 days, they legally cannot fire her. On top of that, there are SO many RN jobs. I mean, units are begging for full time RNs. There are units that aren’t hiring but those units are the more desirable specialties and day shift. She may potentially have to take a job in a unit she wouldn’t prefer just to get her foot in the door and some experience under her belt. It’s much easier to get specialized and preferred nursing jobs after a year or two experience.
I was a new grad in 2019, right before Covid. I had to go from pediatrics (what I thought was my dream) to adult medical surgical during COVID (for the record, I did not EVER want to work in one of these units pre COVID). From there I started travel nursing. I now have enough on my resume and past managers willing to give me great references that I have supervisors coming to me asking me to work for them. Experience can change your ability to get whatever job you want. You just may have to do some hard things for a bit. A year goes by so fast!
Story 5: I’m sorry for your struggles OP. I would remove the nursing job that you were fired from on your resume. Also, the vast majority of travel nursing positions require 1-2 years of experience. You should absolutely not go into travel nursing as a new grad. You want to have a lot of real life experience and skills that are muscle memory well before entertaining being a travel nurse. Morgan’s suggestion for other nursing positions outside of a hospital setting is a very good idea IMO. You can work in schools, doctors offices, clinics, etc. There are other positions. Also, unfortunately it is common to not be able to call out of the 90 day period so be careful in the future. Obviously it sucks but it’s the reality of most hospitals.
Story 3- Girl, you are not locked into this yet. Please, don’t let this man and his mommy abuse you. They will not change, get your kid out of there! Your child is still learning to be a human and someone wants to physically hurt him in the process. That is not parenting, that is a dangerous situation. Keep your child safe, please!
#3 First, protect yourself and your child. Get some hidden video cameras to prove the abuse and your attempts to teach him better. Next call Child Protective Services about your husband and ask for their help. Continue to stay in the house with your husband. This phase should last no longer than 3 months. After 3 months, go to a woman's shelter. Stay there until you have at least temporary sole custody. Then move out. Your husband is going to negatively affect your child for the long term. From 0-5 years children set the foundation for their whole life. Whatever you do, be smart and protect yourself and your child.
I have a few red flags...they might be oddly specific🚩
When they just stop talking to you.
When they make a huge decision that effects both of you without asking or even telling you beforehand
When they go out of their way to contact you online or through text when you haven't given them your number or name.
My biggest one is when they don't take an interest in your hobbies or just you as a person. You don't have to be into someone's hobbies to take an interest in them and their hobbies.
I have 2 cats and I spend $50 a month on their food, who’s spending $400 girl??
story 5: someone might need to fact check me but on average it takes between 3-4 months to find a job once starting the application process and that’s with thinking of your job hunt as a full time job itself, working on applications and tweaking your resume multiple times for 30-40 hours a week. add in that you’re newly graduated and had that unfortunate outcome at your previous job makes it even more difficult for you. keep at it with applications, revamp your resume frequently, try to stay positive and just hang in there. as hard as it seems now, an opportunity WILL come your way!
Story 4: Meet people where you would like to find them while you're dating them
Travel nursing is where it’s at! I have friends making $$$ just nursing a few miles away.
I'm way too early
(Happy Valentine's Day)
Can someone please do me a solid & tell me what the 2 most recent patreon stories are about? I’m trying to make sure mine wasn’t one of them as I don’t have patreon. Thanks in advance!!
In story 5How are you not finding a nursing job? I understand that you don't have a lot of experience. But there is a lot of fellowships that you can do. I work in an operating room and they take brand new nurses With no experience no for about a year. And then you're an OR nurse Nurses are so in demand. It's ludacris. In New York anyway. You can also do travel nursing. But you don't have a lot of experience but I don't know. They don't so have doctor's offices I know that that's who would hire with no experience. But look into fellowships. I also know that they do 1 in NICU. Usually the fellowships are in the hospital though. Come to New York I'll get you a job in the operating room tomorrow. LOL
Do I get paid? A lot? 😂
Don`t care for superbowl or valentines. So for me yesterday was fat tuesday with way too much day drinking, and today is ash wednesday. Fish day. Might try again to give up chocolate for lent, Nutella doesn`t count :D
Store 2. House guests like old fish, need to go after 3 days.
Story 5: I don’t find it fair. Legit crap happens. But it is common among all fields to set strict attendance guidelines, in probationary periods. My husband works in a factory. Termination is a guarantee, within the first 90 days, for any attendance flaws. Recently, a new hire, a months and a half in, got in a car accident, on the way to work. She was injured but came in the next day regardless of pain. She was immediately walked out. One day, an incident she had no control of, didn’t matter. Policy is policy.
*yeah let’s go play the VYAHH*
As for the calling and sick. If you have a note regardless of the 90 days you should be excused. I would go to human Resources and speak with them. And if you do have a chronic condition then you need to apply for FMLA. Wants that is done no 1 can tell you that you can't call In. If they say something they would be fired. Again that's in New York thing. But I do think that's also a standard thing.
Superbowl 59 in Nola, la
Story 3:
For the love of all things holy DISCUSS PARENTING BEFORE HAVING CHILDREN, be careful who you have children with. Unfortunately abuse is a vicious cycle, you have to break it. Get out of the relationship and make sure in your parenting plan you require parenting classes and document him and his mother’s behavior towards you and your son. Cultural beliefs are not going to change.
This first story, I really think he needs to talk to his dad about how he feels about the cat people who don’t understand what it’s like to have a cat could just get rid of it while he’s at work one day, or accidentally let the cat out and it run away… if this is like his baby now he needs to consider having a serious talk with his dad
Story 1: What are the odds that OP’s parents own a hobby farm of free-range hamsters, rats, and mice?
Red Flag: How they treat service workers is important! If they don't drive red flag. Don't like animals? Red flag.
YEY I'M EARLY ❤❤❤
lol who in their right mind spends $400/mo for a single cat
I definitely put my two year olds in time outs because that's when my kids were in their hitting phase but a time out for a two year old is two minutes sitting in a time out chair and then a conversation about why hitting is not allowed. (My kids had pretty well developed vocabularies by two especially my youngest) but yeah I know people who would slap their kids hands when they hit and I'd try to explain to them why that's obviously going to confuse their kids because it contradicts the point they're trying to make. That person to be fair is pretty stupid. They didn't know they can't drive to Russia (we're in Canada).
My 2 Cats cost every 3 months
$40 16 pound bag of dry food
$60 90 cans of wet cat food
4-5 bags of treats $30
Cat litter $70 for about 2 containers of litter per month.
$200 every 3 months
Yearly vet visits for the the two of them including blood work $600
Every 3 years one cats teeth cleaning $800 (genetic issue)
Emergency fund yearly for cats I save $800-$1000
So for an entire year with an emergency it costs
$1700-$2000 per year .
... And as long as any animal is not shitting or pissing in my home... That is key. Plus litter boxes smell awful. I have sensory issues and my 5 yr old is a person with Autism. We don't do indoor bathroom animals nor do we do heavy strong smells. So maybe the parents are worried about the cat literally distroying their flooring and subflooring... Which is a reality, once it happens once it will have all animals that come to that home replying to the PEE-mails lol. All it takes is one animal, one time.
I love this and tht and as a fan I just want to urge Morgan to please be more cautious with how clinically she speaks about mental health issues. As a person that is studying to work in this field some of the information shared here can be misconstrued as truth with the way it’s presented when in actuality it may be a technically nuanced and complex issue that is often misrepresented online. This is no hate, I understand the name of the show is “hot takes” but I just think more care could be taken in this specific area.
wuht i thought it was the new name episode!?🥺🥺
Everytime i hear military parents i feel bad cuz i already know theres guna be abuse 25:26
Hey Jerry, I want you to read my mom's book. Grow, by Cecelia Holland. Do it. She isn't a bad writer. I think you'd enjoy it.
FYI she has published over 40 novels. She isn't chump change. She is 80 and published her first novel in her college years. She raised 3 girls off her writing. I think you'd like her.
Yayyy I’m early 😁
Story 3: Soooo why exactly are you with this guy? You love him? That’s fine and dandy but he’s abusive and he’s going to have a negative impact on your son. Dude needs to change immediately and permanently or he needs to be tossed out with the trash ✌️
Wujuuuuu
I prefer to be asked if a date can kiss me.
The editing is so off this episode, cutting in the middle of talking
Ofc the nfl is scripted
50:11 A red flag I would suggest op to watch for is if the person talks to much about their ex or if they never seem ready to settle down/ tell you what they want out of you after 8/9 dates. Unfortunately around our age, many people are coming from toxic past relationships and you don’t want to engage with someone who isn’t ready to move on from their past. Don’t want end up heart broken because of it. Best wishes op!🤍