BEST Tips For DATING if you're looking for MARRIAGE in your 30s, 40s & 50s
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- Опубликовано: 2 сен 2023
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My sister gave birth to a healthy boy at age of 49. First child, all in natural way. Lifestyle makes difference.
Thank you for that reassurance
I love that What lifestyle does she have for you to mention lifestyle is important?
Some random facts: home made food from scratch, no alcohol, no smoking, regular sleep pattern. Gym or seimming pool 1-2 times a week. No random sexual partners and so no vaginal infections. Avoiding flu infected ppl when pregnant (risk for miscarriage). Controlling stress - difficult, but learning how to let it go important and easier after 40. Some vitamins supporting fertility, regular gyn check ups. Controling hormons(thyroid, cortisol, fertility), as they are prone to fluctuations due to stress, bad food etc
@@blue.papaya8595 thank you 😊
AMBITION! For sure ❤
I’m in my early 30s and have been praying for the woman God has for me to take as a wife in Jesus’ Name. I do yearn for her to be my best friend, and I hers. I appreciate this education.
AMEN
I appreciate hearing this from a man.
I messaged u on facebook
God will not pick your spouse if so, we will all blame God when things don't work out. Puck your mate on wisdom, knowledge and understanding.
@@timothy8766 Amen, bro. Whatever God’s Will is, it will be done regardless. I’ll be patient and trust in Him. Two verses in Proverbs I found to meditate on 18:22 and 19:14. I appreciate you, bro. May God bless you.
It’s so Refreshing to see mature non toxic content on social media regarding relationships and marriage these days ❤
So true!!! There are so many foolish podcasts out now that their topics are so toxic & bashing the black man & women towards each other that it's annoying. I love the wide range guests that come on this show, the mature topics & the hosts feedback. Especially how these 2 young men listen & take notes from their guests. 💖
Amen…😊
Things have changed so much! I am 40, when I was 23 I thought I was old! In terms of marriage. I met my husband that year. We spent our 20s setting our foundation and our 30s having children. We have 4. All home births. My last at 38, all natural. It’s absolutely possible.
Dr Tartt is so on point with dating in 40’s, 50’s and 60’s. I’m also glad he acknowledge there’s a difference between being alone and being lonely. There are married folks who feel lonely in their marriage. Bring him back!!
Facts. I never felt more alone than when I was married. A lot of middle aged men have had miserable marriage experiences so we are weary to do it again and we cherish our alone time.
I really enjoyed watching this I’m 48 years old and I spent 24 years raising my son completely on my own. My entire focus was on my son trying to make up for his father not being in his life. He’s now 25 and living on his own. I do not have any regrets however, I wish I had taken some time to also focus on myself. I am realizing as much as I enjoy being alone it would be nice to come home to someone instead of an empty house.
I can relate now, I am raising my daughter and I am starting to date again now... She's in HS. So I want to marry with MOG who cherish me provide and love me. I am a wife that I know my life purpose Kingdom partner is on his way.
It’s never too late. Best thing you can do is level up your appearance, join some groups / get a hobby, and meet some new people. It can happen for you.
My aunt met her husband at 49 years old and they’ve been happily married for sixteen years now.
@@lauren27891 I love this advice and thank you so much I’m 45 years old have never been married and I don’t have any kids although I did put all of my focus into work. I am very happy. With a lot of what I see going on today people are very hush-hush about the real issues. They face in marriage and I don’t think enough people are being honest, and that’s doing everyone a great disservice because people have unrealistic expectations when they get married. But for those who aren’t married, I believe it’s never too late to find your person..
People date in their 60s and 70s two Why everybody leaving this group out we're not dead we still alive we still have interest. There's a lot of good healthy women in there are 60 70s even 80s that are still interested in dating and they look very good as well. Look at the show coming app bachelors golden bachelor. So don't leave this age group out please thank you.
This show is awesome. I'm 51, divorced, and rarely hear good discussions for my age. Great job touching on rarely discussed topics for seasoned singles. More spaces like this are needed to counter the toxic manosphere spaces.
This brotha is definitely on point with the things that he's saying, because there are many women out here who do exist, and still do these things for the men they love! The challenge often lies in whether or not when a man meets this type of woman he is actually ready for her or if he's so distracted by the things in life that he misses the gift she is and doesn't realize it until it's too late.
Facts!!!
@@theprocessforummediagroup3229 -
Men are not the one's distracted....It's the women. When most men are ready to settle down, he's already thought through what he's giving up.
The women are the one's attempting to serve multiple masters without breaking down what they can achieve and what will have to take a backseat, or can't be achieved. They are the ones who tell themselves and others that women/wives/mothers can have it all, but once they start telling their tale, it's most of the time disjointed, and achieved off the backs off of others like children and even their financial and mental stability.
In their 20's and 30's they are singing the dream of they can have it all, but by the time they are 60, via adding, deleting, and words shifting, it's verbalized, I had it all (bit and pieces strung out course of 35+ years).
And no, women are not a gift, they are a responsiblity, a burden, and are generators of distractions in a marriage.
Most definitely a lot of women doing it for the wrong men! Which creates a bad cycle. Very few men will appreciate this type of woman. Hell a lot of them these days don't think women have value or bring any value to their lives. Talking about what do you bring to the table? I tell them you get a ferminine touch in every aspect of your life. Something another man can't give you. smh
Spot on
Facts on facts!
I got married at a young age of 20. Been married for 29years and five children. I invested all my time and energy into my husband and children. Now they have careers and I don't. If I could do it all over again, I would definitely put myself first. 🌺
Really? Want to switch lives 😂?
Sounds like you accomplished alot of great things. Idk why you feel that a career would’ve been more fulfilling
I would rather have a big family than a career. It's never too late to learn and take some classes at a local college or vocational school. God bless you!
Where are the single 30+ men?
@@starmanning2604There’s plenty of them. Sadly most don’t have social skills and confidence so they will never approach you. Or they bitter divorced men like me who have left the game and accepted a peaceful life of solidarity. Eventually women are going to have to shoot their shot to even get dates because as the years go by there are more and more men like myself.
I absolutely loved hearing the juiciness of the fruit of marriage from the husband’s perspective. This podcast needs to be broadcast in EVERY Barbershop, Cigar Lounge , Auto Show and Fraternity Meeting! ❤ Thank you so much for your vulnerability , ministry in truth.
@jdelaynanderson -
No it shouldn't, because it's nothing more than barbershop talk. The 2 hosts are ages 30 and 34, the guest Alduin Tartt spent more time throwing into the wind RUclips talking points for the sake of generating minutes.
Though Tartt is married with 2 children, his points and counterpoints were just as vague and surface level as the 2 hosts who are not married. To make matters worse, Tartt did more "woman whispering" as if he is using the platform to drum up future female clients. Not something too far out of reach, because he's a faith-based phycologist and women make up the larger share of church attendances.
Thank you for discussing this FORGOTTEN demographics! Would like to date again, but want a QUALITY, mature man that wants an ACTUAL relationship!
Exactly
At 45...I'd rather just continue with my purpose. GODLYmen are rare.
Sis that sounds like you're coming from a place of lack and limitations. We can have any and all things we want in this world. You just gotta know that. 🙏🏾
@@samanthalianacole2386 Let me know how I can do it. I have a 26year old autistic son , a 76 year old mother I take care of and younger daughter. Tell me...the probability of finding a man. 🤣
@@samanthalianacole2386 Cold reality of most men
ruclips.net/video/gs7s4lGt4ko/видео.htmlsi=aWQOW5cpRTDc8dxP
@@heartonic5309girrl I'm a hopeless romantic LOL, somewhere out there there's a twin flame for you. Maybe he has a 77 year old father and 25 year old autistic daughter and now y'all are the most beautiful Romance Movie in RL. Pray on it and put yourself in the position to have that King find you. It also wouldn't hurt to get some coaching like these guys were mentioning if you think you need it. But keep your heart open and full of joy no matter what.
I'll pray for you beautiful stranger 🙂🙏🏾
I’m sorry to hear that you seem like a beautiful person who deserves love
Im finally able to watch the show livestream. Im a truck driver driving most of the time. Bless everyone reading this!
The live shows are Monday and Wednesday night at 8pm my brother.
Same to you, and bless you too.
@hostofhardlyinitiated Today’s show premiered live, didn’t it?
Safe travels on the highways and byways!!
Lol same
When I got married, my grandmother said, “We all need to suffer.” When I got divorced, I stopped suffering!!! Wish I knew more about relationships when I married at 25. I was naive. I put my family first and it was not appreciated. I am so happy because there is no reason to suffer for someone who is benefiting literally while I was dying. Bless those who find love and bless those who love themselves.
Thank you for saying this…because he has good points then there are other points that contradict:
You chose the wrong one , the right one wouldn’t want you suffering , most of the time it’s who we allow in our life that causes us to suffer
He’s is soo right ! Men have to wake up and listen and fight for the family. Marriage takes work and many are lazy.
Talk about it 👏🏾some of our black men don't know the meaning of marriage
I know this was targeted more towards women, but this was great to hear. I grew up in a Christian home and was told to focus on school, career and God and 'the right one' would come. I've dated a few times, got engaged and then broke up and am sitting single at 34. Why? I'm realizing I was not prepared for how to date, socialize/mingle, be romantic, identify the right traits in a woman, understand female interest and navigate relationships in general. Truthfully, I don't think many women were either.
I wholeheartedly agree. As a woman who was the first to graduate University in my family, we were told to study and focus on school and don't go to school to get your MRS degree.. my parents didn't have many educational opportunities growing up so it was of the utmost importance... I think they also thought that dating and marriage would just "magically" happen... Because for them it happened... Grateful for the opportunity to learn grow and prepare. Wishing you good success in your dating/ marriage journey.
You hit it on the nail.
Please listen to this guy. He really knows what he’s talking about. He’s the first man I’ve ever heard that truly understands how women think.
I was literally just thinking that yesterday, that I’m ready for a man to lead me & our house. I can’t wait to be a help. Loved hearing from a man who’s in a healthy marriage.
Thank you. God is faithful! I want our community to have healthy, loving relationships! 🙏🏾
I agree. I got married at 52. Not that i could not have been married earlier but i wasnt ready. I always knew i could adopt children if i had gotten too old to have one biologically. Each woman is different.Great podcast
The freezing of the eggs is SO true and I wish someone had told me. I got married at 43 and my eggs were not viable, so I give all my nieces this advice now.
If you are under 52 or still menstruating you HAVE options. In London now, they are taking eggs directly from the ovaries using a new method. It's working!!! Women are able to have biological children well into there 50s now. Expensive AF out there.
its so expensive
My best friend just had her baby at 41. And my grandmother,God her soul, had my mother at 46 and my uncle at 47. It all depends on diet, mindset and your spiritual life. Doing body detoxification and fasting with prayer will also help.
Thank you.
Same here. I wish I had’ve frozen my eggs.
This is so absolutely refreshing! I’m 57 year old woman. I was married 21 years, divorced 7 years now. This is very encouraging because I have been so afraid that I would never remarry. This brings me hope!❤🙏🏾
Same I’m 49 and divorced after being in a toxic 20 year marriage. Been single for almost 7 years, been afraid I’ll never be married again, gives me hope that I may meet a stable marriage minded man again.
Live off one income and stack the other. I’ve been preaching this. 💯👑
I’m in my 50’s and he is so correct when it comes to men not listening when she says she is unhappy. I left my ex years ago because he cheated and I told to fix it let’s go to counseling since he was not willing to do that. I divorced him and moved out! Get it together guys please listen and change the situation to keep the marriage.
I met Dr. Tartt @7 years ago after after a business function and he is a stellar man! Super nice, professional and kind. Just a great guy.
My husband and I were both divorcees and married in our 40’s and 50’s. The rules of engagement are definitely different.
Thank you so much. It has indeed been awhile. These words are such a blessing.
Marriage is not perfect but you make perfect adjustments
Thank you for this I am 41 and I want to be a wife one day, we need information about dating to be married in your 40’s and beyond.
This was a really good conversation...I'm divorced early 40s and it's rough out here
Its sad how people are looking better going into the relationship and looking a hot mess afterwards. Let's stop putting people down. Are you uplifting them, appreciating, and genuinely loving them. If you are just messing around and using them don't expect this faithful good outcome. We all reap what we sow.
This is depressing that I never had a father or mother to teach or direct me where to go when it comes to dating. Here I go spending money….
Parents are only equipped with whatever knowledge they can impact on you. Its never too late you can learn a lot on YT on how to date and vet correctly. A lot of books also available. This live is already packed with a lot of info. You just gotta do the "WORK" work on yourself learn to vet and date correctly right here on this platform.
@@lf3554 Yes, I’m aware. I’ve been working on the forgiveness, giving grace and understanding. As well as taking in A LOT of knowledge. But to be honest it seems like I barely scratched the surface with all I have learned. I’m not giving up. I’m definitely meant to be someone’s wife.🥰💍
Understood, but did and doing that, however, reflecting back I'd love to have had it too! ❤
Unfortunately there are many of us who feel the same way-good news we have it now and can proceed and do better now.
MOREHOUSE MEN ALWAYS GONNA SHOW OUT! This is one of the best episodes you’ve had! Although it’s pointed toward women, I took so many gems as a MAN
Love Dr. Tartt. His knowledge, relatability, and kindness (Godliness) is refreshing! Bring him back every couple of months!
Yes! His message, his delivery, his realness, his experience, his transparency! Everything about this man was awesome! I could listen to him speak for hours and hours! BRING HIM BACK ASAP! I’m going to his website in 2.5 seconds!
Thank you for the kind words, Larry. Much appreciated. 🙏🏾
LOVE THIS SHOW!🥰 ❤️FIrst time seeing him, Definitely checking his stuff out. You gain a new subscriber, 1st Judge Lynn Toler now him😘..so happy to hear a POSITIVE married man's perspective! Originally I was I like these guys shows are too long..but these discussions are so engaging💯..I can't put it down ..Almost got in trouble at work🤫🤭😂
Let’s goooo🔥🙏🏾
😊😊 😊
When Dr.Tartt mentioned BlackGirlMagic it was so reinforcing
You know I gotcha! I know the truth. 😃
It’s so nice to hear a brother show some love for us
He Breaks this down better than every man you've had on your podcast!!! I watch a lot of your shows along with others he is my favorite relationship advisor/ doctor! His verbiage, outlook and the way he explains his comments is on point! His wife is a blessed woman! God Did That!!!
Indeed
What Dr. Tartt is saying about the value that a woman brings to a relationship/marriage flies in the face of these men who ask ‘what does a woman bring to the table?” That question right there shows how immature and uninformed that man is. So when I hear men asking that question, I know immediately that he is not for me.
Thank you, Joy. Healthy men already know what an amazing woman brings to a relationship and eventual marriage.
Doc is dropping gems, diamonds, and rubies... Great show! He described my wife to the T!
Doc is on POINT! As a 38 year old woman coming out of a long relationship, I agree with EVERYTHING he said. My mindset from 30 to now 38 has definitely shift of what I want and need from a man. #NoLiesTold
This was AMAZING! Probably one of the best shows y’all have done yet! Wow! I’m sharing this with everyone!!!
Thank you, Alecia. It was a pleasure to serve. I love Hardly Initiated too!
Man! This is my second best podcast now ❤it’s giving me hope that there are men out there that want to marry. I am that good woman that helps the man in business. Right now I am the head of household but it’s not my preference I’d rather be the help mate and allow the man to lead.
Thank you. I needed this!. I'm an attractive, healthy, youthful woman just trying to figure out this dating thang in 2023! It's different different!!❤❤❤
It’s very different.
Who would have ever thought this would happen?
I’m glad we were able to inspire you. 🙏🏾
The way he talks abt wives!!! You are absolutely correct!!! A woman makes a house a home and will always elevate a man. 😇
A man that finds a wife finds favor in the Lord🙏🏽
We mature women don't date much because the current dating rules don't seem to work for us. Men talk as if we're 20 years old. Men do not seem to honor mature women and respect the traditional yet sassy part of us.
I agree, Sis. My husband and I were both divorcees and married in our 40’s and 50’s. The rules of engagement are definitely different.
Men are beginning to go overseas to look for mature, wife-material women. American women are damaged goods.
So happy for you that you found one another... I'm next!!!❤😊
@@TA-ht4jo🙄 y'all ain't marrying those women, y'all are having sexxing them and think that makes them "traditional". 😒 Plus "traditional" women would not be with a man outside their culture.
But keep drinking that koolaid...
So true
My parents told me to finish school and start work before dating and here I am in my late 30s working, master's degree, licensed and no man. This video is so important to the young ladies. Learn from my mistakes. Great video!
This was awesome. Can't wait to have my Proverbs 31 wife!
Proverbs 31:12 is the goal!
This man is so knowledgeable about women!! I'm very impressed with how correct he is about us
This was an awesome interview! I am so grateful to hear Dr. Tart say, “we have to be mutually satisfied in the marriage”. As a 47 year old divorced traditional woman, that point was the missing ingredient in my past marriage. Thank you for putting it out there Guys.
This man is preaching THE gospel on here 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼
Wow. This is one of the best episodes on marriage, relationships, and dating I've found on RUclips!
This platform has become a blessing since I've began watching.. They have the best & moat educated guess. Keep doing what you're doing @Hardly Initiated
LOVE THE WISDOM FROM MARRIED GUESTS 🙏🏾
Loved this! I’ve been following Dr. Tartt since his early RUclips days. Appreciate the knowledge you’ve dropped. Thank you and God bless to you and your family ❤
Genesis 2:18 came to mind and heart hearing that we brothers need a woman that’s a helper to us. Our Heavenly Father had the original what the woman is to the man! Praise the LORD!
I’m in my early 30’s and I pray God sends me the man he sees fit for my life and I his “equally yoked”. It has been difficult to date, due to the dating pool being toxic and for that, I haven’t put myself out there. Just focused on my growth. For a man to stimulate me mentally is very attractive and I yearn for just positivity and joy in the presence of that special someone. Thanks for this discussion.
Some women help men get established and the man leaves her for another woman who he values more and sees him as a shining star...how common is this scenario statistically?
Such wisdom! Thanks for the thought-provoking conversation Dr Tartt.
This was a great episode and so much real talk. I love these Brothers honesty and living in reality.
This is so resplendent. Giving real wisdom with no negativity. Thank you !
What an amazing episode!! All your guest are so AMAZING! Thanks for doing the homework it takes to bring such value.
I needed them to acknowledge what the Dr said about pulling back to make them take them serious about fixing the relationship! Most pastors and ppl in general will tell you don't with hold affection when you got issues. That was pivotal. That meant your actions match your words
Thank you for having Dr. Tartt on the show!!
Thank you for the kind words. It was a pleasure to serve.
This was the best episode by far. He was an amazing guest with great insight and Godly at that. He was so on point with this age group! Loved it!
This was a great show! I really enjoyed this topic of conversation. I am now a new subscriber! As a woman in her 50's he was spot on with men in my age group. I noticed since I've been in the dating pool that they are more interested in women my daughters age. (35) so men in their 70's are interested in someone my age but for me, I will be willing to date a man who is at least 10 years older than myself or 5 years younger. That's it and That's all! 😊
This was a very profound and encouraging episode! Keep up the great work gentlemen!
This is all so true! We just want to support, help you get to where you want to be, and be appreciated for that.
I enjoyed listening to this episode so much. Thank you for sharing.
I absolutely love this segment you guys had with him. I look forward to him coming back.
I’m 52 and divorced. This is so hopeful and thank you.
Thank you for acknowledging that it is not fun to take care of a man who behaves like a child because there are men who misconstrue taking care of them as helping them.
Thank you for this insightful conversation. As a single woman of God, I embrace the opportunity to showcase my authenticity and uniqueness. My actions speak to my value, and I'm committed to waiting with intentionality, confident in who and whose I am and what I bring to any relationship - God’s light and glory.
So true… I’m single and when someone is being aggressive or too pushy .. I say “ my husband says NO”… folks respect that 😂😂
THIS is so real and accurate!!!! I wish I could love this episode 25,000 times!
This is the best conversation I’ve seen/heard regarding relationships between men and women.
As an older woman I would love to be married but age appropriate me aren’t looking for me. I disagree with the comment that frozen eggs are a safety net. The majority may not be viable. Also men need to be told that while their contribution to the baby making process might be fresh it is coming out of an old factory. This increases chances of developmental problems too.
Women tend to be more accepting of imperfect men than vice versa. Its not right.
I married my current husband in 40’s and he in his 50’s. Ten year age gaps seem to work best.
@@justmontinait’s hard. Can’t find anything in my 30’s. Men my race don’t want to marry
I'm finding at my ripe age, men don't admit to or not wanting commitment ... as if they've been hurt and now untrusting. I wish I'd held on to my guy when I was in my 30's because he hadn't lived to have so many scares as the older men 50+ years young, etc.
@@cynthiasessions7329 It’s called experience! Men with experience understand female nature!
At a certain point, people need to consider adoption. Those children are already here and need love.
Great show, I really feel like I learnt a lot. Thank you.
Love this convo❤
Awesome Epdisode, Enjoyed this topic, Happy Sunday!
52yo and I did 24years first marriage… just getting back out to date intentionally that will lead to marriage 🙏🏽💃🏽❤️
This was SO good! Please bring Dr. Tartt back this year!
Wow...I have always naturally done the things that they are praising (providing practical help and encouragement for their ambitions) but I never knew it was something that men really value. What I want most is to build something with someone and work together as a team. It's nice to find out that there are some men out there that appreciate a cheerleader instead of viewing it as controlling.
So happy when the guests speak more than the hosts. Great interview.
What an amazing pod cast, ya'll touched on everything ..... when you went to "trauma" and freeze response it got me. deam, sooo real. Thank you.
God this was so refreshing, I thank God for this popping up when it did. I NEEDED this today
Amazing convos, 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾Dr Tartt thank you, as I will be talking to my daughter regarding, great convo honestly. Ryan and Tysean we salute you🙌🏾
That was a GREAT EPISODE my Brothas 💯💪🏿🔥🔥
Right! Wanting peace and that good friend! Exactly!!
I was so blessed by this episode. It was so insightful, informative and highly interesting.. Thank you.
This is one of the best yet! To hear a woman’s heart from a guy and the man’s heart as well… Lots of facts ❤
I love this convo some much truth🙏🏾❤️ GOD Bless you all! Thank you
This was a great interview!
Thoroughly enjoyed this broadcast!! Thank you!
Bravo 👏🏽 👏🏽 👏🏽 Dr. Tartt and his wife are definitely my favorite guests thus far. 🔥
I'm loving this!!! Thank you guys!
Thank you so much for this interview! I learned so much. And watch again to learn more. ❤🙏🏽👏🏽
Dr. Tarte was amazing. Definitely confirmed that I’m doing the right thing in my relationship. I really hope the hosts have more of an open mind regarding support and good women. It made me upset around 35/36 minute mark when they were so adamant in thinking that women are so individualistic.
I’m a 40 yr old Woman, Happily Married 20 yrs…Together for 22 yrs. Dr. Tartt was So On Point. My Husband & Myself have had these very conversations. I would say this is Excellent advice for those Dating, Seeking Marriage, and those of Us who Are Married.
Great Show & Topics
So glad to hear this session! Old school values. Back to basics. We need each other!
Great content!!🎉
The algorithm played well today, I love listening to the bags of wisdom you dished out during this discussion Dr. Tartt. I’m a lady in her late thirties, EVERYTHING you said about securing the heart (more important) while really ready to meet a great man who’s ready for serious relationship is true. It’s just really hard these days to find some God fearing men out here but I hear you about positioning and I’m taking that with me. I’ve got a number of well mannered single friends in same situation. May the will of God be done. But thank you guys for those great questions asked. I hope more people get to watch this video and learn from it. New to this channel and I’m here to stay. God bless everyone here.