I cannot join your program yet. One day I hope to. I am very grateful and thankful for your videos on this platform. You have helped me very much. I started my healing journey because of you. I'm still healing! Thank you, Stephan from my heart! I pray GOD rain down abundant overflow on you in THE MIGHTY LORD JESUS CHRIST. THANK YOU, MIGHTY LORD JESUS CHRIST IN ADVANCE! PRAISE THE LORD OUR GOD ALL POWERFUL.🙏🏽❤️
As someone with Autism and bipolar depression, I face certain challenges in my personal and professional life. I am unable to drive due to a disability and have experienced job loss and difficulty navigating the mental health care system. Despite these challenges, I am determined to create a successful career and life for myself. In particular, I am interested in finding a partner who is also an entrepreneur and can understand and support my goals. I believe that building a strong personal and professional network is key to achieving my goals, and I am actively seeking ways to connect with others who share my vision. As I work towards building my career, I am also exploring options for relocating to a country with a strong mental health care system. While this is a financial investment, I believe it will ultimately benefit my overall well-being and success. In summary, I am committed to overcoming the challenges I face and building a successful life on my own terms. I am actively seeking support and opportunities to connect with like-minded individuals who can help me achieve my goals. I feel the USA want to commit the Next genocide of Jews only it's mentally ill because women don't date us, they don't give us a chance, Even when they do they treat us like shit because we struggle to grow our income and move out friend and family basement. meanwhile, mentally ill women could find men that will care for them and compensate for their psychological disabilities why won't women do the same for men? When get 500$-1500$ going to get books written to express my pain and suffering so people are aware.
Hey, can you make a video about avoidant, secure and anxious attachment types? I think that’s very important to know when dating. And I would like to know what you think of these?
The problem is some people confused dating with being in a relationship. Dating is an event where you gather information on someone to see if you're want to proceed any further with this person.
I wish more people would be enlightened about the difference between Dating and being exclusive. People really don't know the difference. If we dating and not serious we are open to date other people. If we go on a date it's just a date to gain data. This will entail if I plan to go on another date with you. If I do then we still are just dating. I learned people don't know any rules of human relations. The people down South especially because their views of relationships is very different of those who live in bigger cities.
Right! Married 39 years total. I married this man twice hoping he will do better because I valued marriage, but I always felt disconnected and all alone! I never could do anything right, never a kind word! He would say , I don’t know what y’all would do without me! I can’t take this anymore! I’m silently moving forward with my 2nd divorce with the same man!
My best friend’s fiancé used to tell her that he was the prize. They’re no longer together. That statement comes across as being self centered. If you have to state that you’re the prize, chances are you aren’t. Act like a prize and the right person will treat you as one.
Yep mine said he was a prize 😀 🤣 and I was lucky that he wanted me. 😆 Turned out he is a narcissist. 3 months later he discarded me. Wich was fine with me
My ex-husband said as much to me as well. It tells the other person you're worth more than them. Nothing wrong with believing you're the prize, but if it's true you don't need to declare it.
THANK YOUUUUUU 👏🏼 I dated a guy a few years ago who had this mentality that I should have been honoured to be with him and he constantly brought up how many girls he had turned down prior to being with me and whilst he was with me, and it just became disrespectful to me
The guy I was with said he’s a good guy/man, also everytime we were breaking up. He’s like “you’re throwing true love, the man who truly loves you.” “You’re justifying yourself cuz you don’t wanna cope with throwing away true love”. I don’t understand the mentality of saying himself being a great guy. Should I have believed it?
I use to hear during my marriage that " no other man could love me" or "I should feel lucky he chose me because nobody else will" 😢. He even tried stopping me from getting emergency care because he was scared that he'd be in trouble. At that point I'd had enough being told nobody would love me and filed for divorce, now after 2yrs I am finally feeling better about myself and on the path for more self love.
Had to pause there… Lelia…. Beautiful name🙏.. so glad I read until the end and you yelling and living it your way.. bigger and better and loving you!! You are such a winner and please go out there and tell your story!! You have no idea the strength you will let other gals know they have ❤️😇🙏👻👻
When people tell me my husband is lucky to have me I say no, we’re lucky to have each other. We’ve been together since I was 21and he was 22, we’re now 64 and 65 and very happy.
Most women that are independent (not feminists) have had to learn to be that way because there was no one that they could depend on. My parents were divorced when I was 13, my dad was totally out of my life. I had to take care of my mother because she was in ill health. She died when I was 27. I had no brothers, sisters, aunts, uncles, etc. Because of my "learned caregiving", I attracted needy men. We all need to heal from childhood trauma in order to have healthy relationships. God bless you for the great work you are doing, Stephan!
Not true at all. I’m not an independent woman out of necessity, but because **I’m independent.** I’ve educated myself and work because I want to. Whoever I meet will have to accept that.
What I’ve experienced is that when I say I am abstinent, they automatically think “until marriage” when some women choose abstinence temporarily until they feel the relationship is evolving.
In my opinion, this thing about dating several people at the same time, is the one thing that really destroys so much! If every person is given an honest chance to really get to know each other instead of focusing on several people at the same time, everything would be so much easier. And without the feeling of competition of a human being, love would be so much more honest, respectful, real and easy to find.
Dating several people in the same time, means one doesn't know what he, she wants, who he she is, that person doesn't have any moral value, no God, nothing stable in his, her life. People with multiple partners, even if everybody inbthe relationships agrees, are not happy at all, it's a choice and a life style but I don't know anybody living happily, no conflicts, no gelozie, in thisvtype of lifestyle. That's a recipee for a stressful life, life is stressful anyway but some people really make it so difficult for themselves on purpose
My bf said to me in the beginning of our relationship I looked like I have a lot of men trying to date me, and actually I did and I told him, “yes, that’s true. But I can recognize a good man when I see one because there’s plenty of trash out there trying to date me, and guess what? You’re the good one” we’ve been very happy and talking about that was not a problem for none of us.
Also, I disagree about the topic “my bills….” it’s important for men to know how much it costs a woman to take care of herself, most men have no clue of how expensive it is for a woman to look the way she does and of course, what man doesn’t like a good looking woman who knows how to take care of herself? And if this relationship is a potential marriage in the future it’s important for him to know in case he wants her to take care of the their home and family. She’ll need that money to keep herself up and if she’s not making it because she’s working for the family, he better know what he’s signing up for. I’m expensive and I can afford myself, I would never decrease my level of self care because my man wants me to take care of our house and family.
Men are very quick to put these alpha, feminist, etc labels on women as a put down or criticism. I am a strong woman that also practices cooperation, interdependence, kindness, fairness, etc but am not going to dim my light to soothe fragile male egos. Great topics, as always.
Good for you Cynthia👏👏 You should be proud of who you are and your accomplishments. To put alpha females and feminists together in a category with strong, independent women respectfully is unfair; because they are each very different. This isn't the 1950's anymore and strong, educated, independent women are more the norm these days than the exception. There are some men that find those qualities intimidating and that's really more of a them issue than a you issue; while there are many others who find it attractive and respectable. By no means is being independent an indication that we are not extremely loving, loyal, caring, nurturing, interdependent women. In fact it's quite the contrary and we are just as capable of pouring into our man as much if not more than a woman that is financially dependent on her man can. 💛
@@Goldenheart2911 Yes, good on you all. You have been saying/telli'g this to one 1nother for drcades - and here you all are still. Becky, and every other non-Black women have been getting/having all the good, decent, gentlemen you all say/pretend/fake that you want. Good on you. Loooool.
@@Goldenheart2911 I agree that we can be strong, loving and caring. And I have met many men who value independent women, especially if they have daughters. I have also encountered men who blame feminism for ruining the black family. I think women should define femininity for themselves and not let men define us.
You are so Correct. I’m a Dental Hygienist and so is my daughters’ dad . When we were together , he had me paying 1/2 of the bills. Plus child care , & healthcare for myself and our daughters. And he was cheating. Needless to say. I left in 2016, moved to an apt , stayed there for 3 yr , while saving to build my own home . Literally built my own..
See you didn’t need him at all…GREAT JOB!!!! We as women should stop thinking we got to be a ride or die chick and the man will be faithful because it is the furthest from the truth…although this guy comes off as a nice guy he is definitely a Chauvinist!!!!!! Men have become fragile little females all up in they own feelings…I am glad you showed him…and pray you get over the brokenness of an unfaithful husband that YOU had to build up then turned around and get defrauded by…can’t stand these pathetic as men these days no back bone at alllllllll no more..just brute…no more men…these men are weak!!! I cannot I rather be myself and take care of myself then be a slave to an ungrateful man!!! Be blessed sista!
Speak on IT! Communication is one of the key points in a relationship. Even myself I have learned how not to reply so fast before thinking about my answer. Sometimes we have to slow down and think how will he receive this. I have learned so much just by listening to you, I have also learned that sometimes I must be quiet, listen & learn. You're amazing Stephan!🙏🏽❤️
What I like the most about your videos is your laugh 😂, especially when you laugh at something that is actually really serious topic. You laugh, than I start laughing, my dogs start barking, s**t gets crazy over here 😂... seriously, I love your videos so thank you and hello from Slovenia 🙏
I respect what you're saying, however, many women such as myself have healed from severe abuse & are just as sensitive & shy about his intentions. I never see myself as a "prize" but a valuable person that deserves him to be mature & honest
I had a man that within the first month of our acquaintance he wanted to sleep with me. I enjoyed his conversation so my statement was, " I thank you for the offer, but I'm a woman of purity and if I'm going to do this, it will be as a married woman." I was shocked, but he THANKED ME FOR MY HONESTY AND CLARITY. We have developed a very good friendship and it has been so for about 7 years. One day he asked me if I could love him. I said I already do, because I love all my friends. He has life style issues that I am not willing to live with, if the relationship were to go deeper. With being good friends, the potential for me to fall in love is there. Like you said, since this has been built on a friendship basis, the expectations for dating and deeper physical expressions are not there. It has been enjoyable to build this friendship for sure. So, yes, you have placed the abstinance statement in a very healthy context! Well done and this is a very good video too.
"a lot of women self sabotage potential relationships in the dating phase because they're not allowing themselves to embrace the good that's in front of them" I sadly am guilty of this due to my anxious attachment style and now the guy I was talking to is clearly no longer interested and we no longer talk except for on rare occasions. It's hard not to think about the "what could have been" but what's done is done, sadly.
Men shouldn’t mention their exs either. I was dating a guy who didn’t heal after his most recent breakup when he asked me out. I took a whole year to heal after my last relationship that lasted four years. I went on a self love journey. The best thing I ever did for myself. Now I find it very hard to find someone suitable to date because men tend to not do this. So they are never ready for what I have to offer.
Just one minute in, but I wanted to say I really enjoy the whole format and style of your videos (have been bingeing them!)- the jumping in the topic sans intro, the format, pace, cadence of your speech, your lovely likeable personality (I always smile or laugh when you do!). Basically don't change this perfect formula! OK looking forward to the content now :)
@@MeetStephanSpeaks I appreciate you! Thank you very much for your channel ! You helped me so much in a recent- mini-heartbreak I experienced. Love that you incorporate God, prayer in your teachings- very unique. Thanks again
I am an independent woman. I'm a single mom and I have to take care of everything on my own. Does that make me difficult? I didnt choose my circumstances and never imagined my marriage ending, but here I am.
Hi Stephan, can you start adding timestamps to your videos? It would be nice to go back and listen to certain points in your video that I need more clarification on. Thanks!💜
Totally agree with this video and ironically this is what I've been doing lately! 1) No need to worry about anything when it is just the dating stage...both people are free to explore! Being possessive early on is a major red flag. 2) Someone that makes more money could also spend more therefore not overall financially healthier. 3) Get to know each other as friends first and allow freedom if wishes to maintain purity instead of jumping into "dating" where there are certain expectations.
I really appreciate your platform. Because you are teaching men and women how to date in a positive manner. I have to start dating again at 39 with two children. I was married for 18 years. I feel lossed and frustrated, but God knows best. God bless you because your videos give the male perspective on how they think and move.
39, divorced with 4 kids here. I spent the last two years looking after myself and building my life. I’m in a relationship now ☺️ I thought my divorce was the end of companionship for me and just decided to be single and happy. I feel like that contentment in my life set me up to meet someone.
Once dated a man who was insecure because I was more educated though I never did anything to make him feel less and suddenly he wanted entitlement to what's not his. Eventually, we fell off.
@@Gintoki_Madao yes we did and he would repeat that at least I have a degree and I was pursuing a masters. He later enrolled for a degree programme which he failed to complete because of money. He got money and was building a house of which I had just a plot but, despite him haven done his 3 quarts he added on the fact that I owned land with proper documentation. I encouraged him to get his paper work and he was overjoyed when it came through. He asked for help towards the house and I did a lot. Only to be told later that he wants a woman who is around because now the house is finished and he has a better job. He mentioned that he wasn't ready to settle then but, now he is ready so I asked him whether he meant that I should stop working and he kept quiet though kept checking all my social media activities.
@@Gintoki_Madao in the meantime he used to spend on high quality clothing on himself "pricy" clothing which clearly showed that he had enough money but, would make it a point to mention that I'm more educated and he equally wanted to be at my spiritual level of which he made effort to try out fasting. He was pleasantly shocked at how many doors of opportunities opened up for him at the time. The problem came in when he moved to a different town and became very secretive suddenly he no longer communicated with the same consistency nor made effort to visit it became a one sided relationship.
Great video Stephan. I particularly like when you said focus less on dating and focus more on building friendships with expressed interest. I want to get to know someone more genuinely and then I can really get to know if that person and myself would be compatible to take the friendship further.
That comment that in dating “most people bring their representative” and that dating is a human construct vs abstinence which is a God thing really blew my mind & made my heart laugh! Relevant to where I’m at currently. Thank you for these gems!! 😍🙌🏽🥳👏🏽🔥🙏🏽
This is good… I’m going thru a breakup now and she always thinks I’m talking to another female and I see now it was from her past why she doesn’t believe me… Guys who cheats makes it hard for the really good genuine men out here 😞
This happening to me at the beginning of the relationship. My boyfriend had hard time to trust me because his ex girlfriend cheated on him, so everytime I went out, he would ask me "where do you go, who do you met, who talked to you?". He was so paranoid!!! I tried to tell him that he needs to get over his ex girlfriend because I wasn't her. I gave him an ultimatum: "or he changes his attitude or we break up" because he was stressed the hell of me.
The problem a lot of us women have experienced is that most men are talking to other women with sexual hookups in mind. The not trusting comes from being lied to and being cheated on
The EX discussion is sooo true. Especially the context. I have recently experienced this but from his end. It definitely raised concerns. I am over it.
Stephan, for men who can’t handle an independent woman, no matter how much you stroke their egos, it won’t last and it’s a waste of the woman’s time. I’d prefer to know that up front and pass on a man like that. I’ve done my share of ego stroking and learned it the hard way, as soon as they see I have a successful career, I take care of my needs, and I will be able to retire comfortably, they know they can’t measure up. This is great for me to filter out unqualified men. I know every woman is in different situations. But hiding the independence in women won’t do us any good. Each woman should know her bottom line in men and make that clear as early as possible. If you are a millionaire, are you going to date a guy in credit card debt? Won’t you want to know that? If you tell him you are financially secure and will not respect men who can’t manage their finances, and he runs away, won’t that be the best thing you do for yourself?
I said to my boyfriend when we're just starting dating that I'm abstinent and wanted to wait, but I kind of regreted it because, but I love him for that, is that he respected it. But yes, maybe I can also wait since we're both young. We promised each other that one of us will stop each other from temptations if it's too much or crossing the line. But I'm thankful since he stayed. He was the one who asked me out on a date and I was the one who made a move for him to be my boyfriend😊.
I would love to watch the video about "friendships with stated interest." This is something I've been trying to get some guys to understand, but it's never perceived well. Definitely will be waiting for that video. 😊
I agree, I'm in that situation currently and felt like it was a negative and wanted more but now see a new perspective. I'm glad we are getting to know each other without pressure.
Honestly....I hear you but I'm so tired of tip toeing around a man's fragile ego just based on words. These men are so hyper attached to their past and the words they think you are saying that they aren't even taking the time to see who you really are and how you operate in life...I'm just exhausted and over it. The emotional endurance that we are now required to have in addition to taking care of ourselves, being submissive, being a full time care taker, chef, maid and voluntary porn star is not fair to us at all. Referring to the alpha, strong women.
@@moneygz234 Right? She thinks for herself and doesn’t roll over for a man. If that’s difficult for you, maybe you have some things you need to work on.
We have to lower our values in the relationship to drag the man along because if we don't we will be alone. It means 'dumbing down' to get the man you want.
My favorite phrase you say is,"I don't condone it!" Lol. Seriously, I think when men get caught up by labels, it's due to their feelings and insecurities and not about the doctrines of thought. Feminism has always been about equality and equity, not about some perversion of thought that women are better than men. It's about equal partnership and valuing each other. When men dislike feminism, I think they weed themselves out to the woman. Anyway, great video. I love your discourse.
Men who rant about feminism hate the thought of women having choice. It means they have to actually be about something. But then they're conveniently okay with having all kinds of premarital sex with liberated women. 🙄
Number 2 definitely describes what I think of most men, even if I don’t say it out loud! 😊😊! I’m trying my best not too judge a man before I truly get to know him. I’m a working progress Stephan! I appreciate your thoughts on this topic! Thanks!
Yesss gratzy Stephan! Can you pleeease make a video that goes into the benefits of abstinence? I have a high sex drive and used to think very negatively about abstinence. Until I experienced the benefits in my life. Spiritually as well as overall. I think it needs to be addressed by a man. To help enlighten other men 🦋🙏🌬
Yes your right because this is how I feel blessed with my man and I respect him genuinely. I know better than to ask that question about him having a lot of women and I realize he is trying to get to know me. We have takeout time in our relationship so we know our value in each other.
Thanks for sharing ❤️, I don't like to talk about exes neither I don't like to hear about exes. If anyone brings up an ex of mine I usually begin to distance myself from that person just to protect my own peace.
I stumbled onto you and absolutely love your views and gave me hope; that gentleman are still abound! I seriously feel that your thoughts are hope u truly believe! Thank you for sharing! Blessings ❤
Thank you for this video. Just what I needed to hear. Past experience can make one have a skewed perception. Building authentic friendship is key to a great relationship. Be blessed.
All good points. I only ask if they are in relationship, married etc because I don't want to promote cheating. Men should be made aware of what you expect and what type of woman you are. It's always something!! Why can't people just be mature, honest and healthy without having to worry about all this stuff.
In regards to the “alpha women “ statement , I’ve never said this to a man but I WILL START ! This is a simple way to get an understanding of someone’s communication level . Will you go based on what you assume or will you ask so we are both speaking the same language? If you hear alpha woman and think difficulty, that tells me you trying to run a muck !! And I’m good .
Hiding the energy. Wow. This man I WAS dating would talk about this one ex and I literally saw his eyes light up. He’s a musician and invited me to a show of his. I realized that at least two of his ex girlfriends were ALSO there. I felt so stupid and he told me he will never tell his ex’s not to come to his shows and didn’t think it was strange at all that these women still hang around. I expressed that I felt so unimportant and like everyone assumed I’m a low value groupie just like all his other exs. This man pursued me online without ever meeting me IRL, then tells me he’s not interested in getting into anything serious bc he’s so busy with work. WHY would he go out of his way to find someone he never met, love bomb them- then say he isn’t in a position to give them (ME!) what they need from him? He went from 100 to zero almost overnight.
Great truth spoken here. I was dating someone recently who spoke in all of the above. Men will state this as well. Red flags hit fast so I decided to walk away. Ppl must understand themselves before moving forward with a relationship. I’m just trying to make sense of dating and at this point I’m giving up…..
I ask questions like, “Do you like your mother?” , “Have you ever had a kitten?” , “Do you eat meat?” , “Butter or margarine?”… you know, the important questions. Heehee!
My experience is men who have real money to spend, they really are not bothered by women wanting to know if they're financially stable and even successful. Often there's nothing more they want to talk about. However, I agree that this question is better saved for a proposal. If a man is asking to marry you I think you should absolutely ask this question. Just be prepared to be asked the same. A lot of men want to know they're not going to inherit unnecessary baggage. I agree it's more important to know how money is spent. But just because he makes lots of money doesn't mean he has a provider mentality.
This. If you have bad credit, tons of DEBTS, unhealthy shopping habits, student loans… all that needs to be shared with the man if he is looking into marrying you. I’m a woman but I see too many women just waiting for a man to rescue them from their poor financial choices. No, that’s not how it works.
Men have learned not to say certain things to their woman so I don’t see a problem with us women learning what not to say to our men. I refuse to say I’m the prize in my relationship. I know I’m a good woman but I also know my man is my prize. He’s so perfect for me and I’m happy to say that he’s the prize and he’s happy to say that I’m the prize.
As a 32yo virgin, i dont even know how to convey this information to the guys i date anymore. It would be nice to have clarity on when in the dating process is the right time to share this information and how to do it.
Stephan, I so appreciate your honesty and openness, like when you said “what the hell is that”, you definitely “get it “ and therefore you help others (women) understand 🌟
I just had this experience with my current girlfriend. She mentioned abstinence this month once she got closer to religion. It is hard for me after dating for almost three years.
The reason I'm alone I've learned is that men are never sensitive to my feelings. So after decades of my feelings being ignored why should I care anymore about being sensitive to men? Especially when they resort to manipulation or not following through with their promises. Why should I continue being sensitive? I'm nice until you cross me then who knows anymore. Perhaps the thought of just being alone without having to walk on eggshells sounds more peaceful. When they don't walk on eggshells with my emotions. What if just being alone and not having to worry about how I'm not sensitive enough sounds more appealing after decades of trying to be caring without getting hurt. And discovering the only time of peace in my life is when I'm alone and don't care about being with any man. I fantasize about being alone when I realize the relationship was a mistake because of how badly my feelings were ignored. What's the point of being sensitive when it's always used against me? I've noticed other women I've talked to through the decades that continue to be soft fail miserably and end up alone like me. It's really sad how one sided men get about their emotions and hurt the women they love with them.
This was awesome, thank you so much for all the insightful info. Im definitely guilty of the whole "independent woman" saying. Not that ive necessarily said it to men, but ive definitely carried that mentality. Also ive stated to friends that im "the prize" or im a "queen" in a playful but serious manner, but its cuz im confident in my worth. All these were great and gives me things to keep in mind so i greatly appreciate it. Have a blessed day! ✨🙏✨
Men who have an issue with independent women are typically protecting their own inadequacy on being dependent _(and usually on said independent women)_.
I asked this guy you seems like you have other women after you . His answer was you can stop all of that . Therefore , he’s keeping his options open if he doesn’t get what he wants from you.
I grew up in a household seeing my Dad give his paychecks to my Mom. When he wanted something he had to ask for it. I used to sneak and give my Dad money and buy him things because I didn't like how my mom was treating him. A man who provides for the household shouldn't have to ask for anything. It should be given to him without question.
@@msdemeanour, He is an Alpha Man and has always been! He got threatened by a narcissist which caused him to drink again. Narcissistic people ruin people. I pray for my parents. I love them very much from a distance, no communication because of my narcissist mom. My Dad is a giver and I thank GOD I inherited that from him.
Say it for the people in the back!! Independent, strong etc. NOW I want to have the skills and resources to handle business on my own. If we get in a situation and I have to hold it down. I know how to do it. I also want my mate to be able to do the same. When two STRONG individuals come TOGETHER. There will be abundance in every aspects of the relationship. I no longer keep my needs quiet. I say something and ALLOW him to handle business. I'm at so much peace and restfulness in my life right now!!!
Thank You for making this video, I can use it too make men go away. That one line didn't work online though. You have too many women LOL. I don't want a relationship or marriage with men but I'm open to male friendship. I love being single and free. One thing I've noticed about men in the last 23 years is, they haven't changed. They want what they want and they'll run you over, they don't listen, so I won't go there ever again. Single ROCKS to me. I'm complete in Christ. 🙂👱♀️😷
Hey, my take away on the topics is that for us as women to ask the person about their money,I didn’t think that was an appropriate question, I wanted to say thank you to my ex-husband on the friendship zone without benefits, but we did celebrate each other, go out of our ways to please each other so on ,without sex ,before dating, that was an awesome experience for me and I love it.❤thanks Stephan God bless your day 😁❤️🙏🏼
I was raised with the values and morals of my mom and dad that’s been married over 50 years. As a single woman, not in a relationship or dating then, I was the alpha, independent, and feminist woman being by myself. As a married woman, I didn’t need them as the forefront of my married relationship. My husband is ordained to be the head of the family and I became his help meet. No problems here being submissive………….PERIODT. Good information as usual🌹🌹🌹🌹💯💯💯
I am an independent woman! I’ve never met a man that gave me anything other than my Daddy! I am this way because I was forced to be this way. I can’t wait on a man to give me anything. I’m not a person who h8 men, or tear men down. I would love to be traditional but todays men aren’t traditional
I never asked him what he had, but he told me he wanted someone who would go 50/50 in the relationship. This made me uncomfortable, why? Thought was usual statement. Never had parents who were there to educate me and really didn’t have tools or navigate while making a living- you just don’t know everything in life. No matter what people think- just walk a lifetime in my shoes- don’t judge or past judgement ❤❤❤
We can all learn from what the exs did to bring us down. I do believe exa are a healthy conversation if you're not dealing with severely insecure current, possible mate. We all want to know what happened in your past relationships weather we want to admit it or not. My experience from the question of 'what are you looking for' is you risk that person PRETENDING to be what you are looking for just for you to realize later they were exactly what you needed to be running from. You give them the road map to waste your time NOT being themselves. Should you really ask a person...Are you jealous, controlling & insecurity & do you expect them to answer YES?
We started with friendship for a year and we became a best friend but after we decided to start the relationship everything changed.. we both got more sensitive, got mad at each others so quickly and i can tell have fight most likely everyday.. idk what’s the solution.. bứt being friends before start the relationship is the worst advice at least it didn’t worked out for me.:(
sounds like yall stopped being friends, stopped enjoying each other's company, stopped having fun with each other. Sometimes we "settle" in and forget to keep the excitement/energy alive and flowing... We think relationships should be "Serious" and somehow that translates to "no-fun" but it doesn't have to be that way.
Insightful video. I need to say this first; it was difficulty not focusing on the man in the mirror. A different background is needed (woosah)... Men and women friendships are just about impossible. One person will be interested in more, and will maintain the relationship hoping for more. It is time for people to grow up and hear hard truths. No other person is entitled to your body. If they cannot deal with that let them go freely... Dating is the time to get to know someone. Friendships usually take time to develop. If I like a man enough to get to know him, I like him for more than a friend... This is a problem in western relationships; old people (30yrs &up) 'dating'. Dating should ultimately lead to marriage. Otherwise get yourself a hobby or join a team; there you will have a lot of friendship possibilities.
Now the bill thing. If a problem that I’m having comes up in the conversation, and he doesn’t offer a solution…… it’s a red flag for me for sure. The the extent of his solution does depend upon the amount of time we’ve known each other 😂
Tell a man that you are interested in, that you are a help mate. One who loves God and yourself, that wants to add to his life and enrich his soul. He may then look at you like you are A PRIZE! Blessings 🌸
Men also use women for their money as well. I saw it happen in a family member's relationships. It's sad whenever money becomes an issue in this way. Your suggestions are good and I took them all to mean they went for men or women. Keep up the good work.
I really enjoy your videos. Your stuff gives me good clarity on dating someone. I do tend to almost self sabotage things with him and we are just starting out. I know it's unhealed spaces I still have that I'm facing and am willing to do so. Thank you for these videos. This connection is very different for me. I'm use to the type of guys you talked about in another video that love bomb then basically don't want you once they have you. Doesn't do that which I like but its also making some insecurities come out because we don't have a lot of time together
Great advice Stephan 😎 its best to date with your eyes, ears wide open ~ Also they could be a covert vulnerable narcissist cloaked as Mr. NICE guy so pay attention if his behaviour matches his words
❤ Join my SPECIAL coaching program here 👉 www.receivingmyblessings.com - so many women are experiencing AMAZING results!
I cannot join your program yet. One day I hope to. I am very grateful and thankful for your videos on this platform. You have helped me very much. I started my healing journey because of you. I'm still healing! Thank you, Stephan from my heart! I pray GOD rain down abundant overflow on you in THE MIGHTY LORD JESUS CHRIST. THANK YOU, MIGHTY LORD JESUS CHRIST IN ADVANCE! PRAISE THE LORD OUR GOD ALL POWERFUL.🙏🏽❤️
As someone with Autism and bipolar depression, I face certain challenges in my personal and professional life. I am unable to drive due to a disability and have experienced job loss and difficulty navigating the mental health care system. Despite these challenges, I am determined to create a successful career and life for myself.
In particular, I am interested in finding a partner who is also an entrepreneur and can understand and support my goals. I believe that building a strong personal and professional network is key to achieving my goals, and I am actively seeking ways to connect with others who share my vision.
As I work towards building my career, I am also exploring options for relocating to a country with a strong mental health care system. While this is a financial investment, I believe it will ultimately benefit my overall well-being and success.
In summary, I am committed to overcoming the challenges I face and building a successful life on my own terms. I am actively seeking support and opportunities to connect with like-minded individuals who can help me achieve my goals.
I feel the USA want to commit the Next genocide of Jews only it's mentally ill because women don't date us, they don't give us a chance, Even when they do they treat us like shit because we struggle to grow our income and move out friend and family basement. meanwhile, mentally ill women could find men that will care for them and compensate for their psychological disabilities why won't women do the same for men?
When get 500$-1500$ going to get books written to express my pain and suffering so people are aware.
This statement of I’m the prize is not meant to be said out loud in my opinion it’s for women to build their confidence and not get played
I wish I could afford a one on one session with you but i just can’t right now but hopefully I can someday soon
Hey, can you make a video about avoidant, secure and anxious attachment types? I think that’s very important to know when dating. And I would like to know what you think of these?
The problem is some people confused dating with being in a relationship. Dating is an event where you gather information on someone to see if you're want to proceed any further with this person.
Thank you for sharing, I appreciate your feedback ❤️ 🙏
I wish more people would be enlightened about the difference between Dating and being exclusive. People really don't know the difference. If we dating and not serious we are open to date other people. If we go on a date it's just a date to gain data. This will entail if I plan to go on another date with you. If I do then we still are just dating. I learned people don't know any rules of human relations. The people down South especially because their views of relationships is very different of those who live in bigger cities.
@@Klassyladykwhat they're doing is courting, not dating
So true I learned the hard Way
Exactly ❤
*I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.*
Right! Married 39 years total. I married this man twice hoping he will do better because I valued marriage, but I always felt disconnected and all alone! I never could do anything right, never a kind word! He would say , I don’t know what y’all would do without me! I can’t take this anymore! I’m silently moving forward with my 2nd divorce with the same man!
My best friend’s fiancé used to tell her that he was the prize. They’re no longer together. That statement comes across as being self centered. If you have to state that you’re the prize, chances are you aren’t. Act like a prize and the right person will treat you as one.
Thank you for sharing, I appreciate that ❤
Yep mine said he was a prize 😀 🤣 and I was lucky that he wanted me. 😆 Turned out he is a narcissist. 3 months later he discarded me. Wich was fine with me
My ex-husband said as much to me as well. It tells the other person you're worth more than them. Nothing wrong with believing you're the prize, but if it's true you don't need to declare it.
THANK YOUUUUUU 👏🏼 I dated a guy a few years ago who had this mentality that I should have been honoured to be with him and he constantly brought up how many girls he had turned down prior to being with me and whilst he was with me, and it just became disrespectful to me
The guy I was with said he’s a good guy/man, also everytime we were breaking up. He’s like “you’re throwing true love, the man who truly loves you.” “You’re justifying yourself cuz you don’t wanna cope with throwing away true love”. I don’t understand the mentality of saying himself being a great guy. Should I have believed it?
I use to hear during my marriage that " no other man could love me" or "I should feel lucky he chose me because nobody else will" 😢. He even tried stopping me from getting emergency care because he was scared that he'd be in trouble. At that point I'd had enough being told nobody would love me and filed for divorce, now after 2yrs I am finally feeling better about myself and on the path for more self love.
I'm sorry to hear about that. I pray that you heal from all that you have been through and be able to keep moving in faith 🙏 ❤️
Your topics are very good
Had to pause there…
Lelia…. Beautiful name🙏.. so glad I read until the end and you yelling and living it your way.. bigger and better and loving you!!
You are such a winner and please go out there and tell your story!! You have no idea the strength you will let other gals know they have ❤️😇🙏👻👻
@karenberlet5536 Thank You, in arabic, it means " daughter of darkness," and I've thought about it. I just need to do it the right way.
ex@@MeetStephanSpeakse
When people tell me my husband is lucky to have me I say no, we’re lucky to have each other. We’ve been together since I was 21and he was 22, we’re now 64 and 65 and very happy.
Most women that are independent (not feminists) have had to learn to be that way because there was no one that they could depend on. My parents were divorced when I was 13, my dad was totally out of my life. I had to take care of my mother because she was in ill health. She died when I was 27. I had no brothers, sisters, aunts, uncles, etc. Because of my "learned caregiving", I attracted needy men. We all need to heal from childhood trauma in order to have healthy relationships.
God bless you for the great work you are doing, Stephan!
Healing is definitely key, and I pray that you heal from all that you have been through and be able to keep moving in faith 🙏 ❤️
Not true at all. I’m not an independent woman out of necessity, but because **I’m independent.** I’ve educated myself and work because I want to. Whoever I meet will have to accept that.
What I’ve experienced is that when I say I am abstinent, they automatically think “until marriage” when some women choose abstinence temporarily until they feel the relationship is evolving.
Thank you for sharing your experience! Hopefully, it will help others learn from it. I appreciate that 🙏
If I say that a challenge and it's own they come out the wood work trying to get me to change my mind very annoying
@@glendatorres5339 Yeaa there are those but at least those let themselves known and can be weed out lol
@@Art_y_sonConTania true lol
And you should wait until marriage. 🙌🙏
In my opinion, this thing about dating several people at the same time, is the one thing that really destroys so much! If every person is given an honest chance to really get to know each other instead of focusing on several people at the same time, everything would be so much easier. And without the feeling of competition of a human being, love would be so much more honest, respectful, real and easy to find.
Thank you for sharing your thoughts, I appreciate hearing from you ❤
@@MeetStephanSpeaks 🙏❤️
Dating several people in the same time, means one doesn't know what he, she wants, who he she is, that person doesn't have any moral value, no God, nothing stable in his, her life. People with multiple partners, even if everybody inbthe relationships agrees, are not happy at all, it's a choice and a life style but I don't know anybody living happily, no conflicts, no gelozie, in thisvtype of lifestyle. That's a recipee for a stressful life, life is stressful anyway but some people really make it so difficult for themselves on purpose
thats why i am not dating anyone
@@silvias550 totally agree!
My bf said to me in the beginning of our relationship I looked like I have a lot of men trying to date me, and actually I did and I told him, “yes, that’s true. But I can recognize a good man when I see one because there’s plenty of trash out there trying to date me, and guess what? You’re the good one” we’ve been very happy and talking about that was not a problem for none of us.
Also, I disagree about the topic “my bills….” it’s important for men to know how much it costs a woman to take care of herself, most men have no clue of how expensive it is for a woman to look the way she does and of course, what man doesn’t like a good looking woman who knows how to take care of herself? And if this relationship is a potential marriage in the future it’s important for him to know in case he wants her to take care of the their home and family. She’ll need that money to keep herself up and if she’s not making it because she’s working for the family, he better know what he’s signing up for. I’m expensive and I can afford myself, I would never decrease my level of self care because my man wants me to take care of our house and family.
Good rapport
My girlfriend told me the same thing! More men need encouragement like this, very positive words. Thank you for sharing.
@@cascadiapictures3480well if they're not good they're not gonna receive that compliment...
There’s a big difference between someone trying to “date” someone as opposed to someone who is just trying to get with you.
Men are very quick to put these alpha, feminist, etc labels on women as a put down or criticism. I am a strong woman that also practices cooperation, interdependence, kindness, fairness, etc but am not going to dim my light to soothe fragile male egos. Great topics, as always.
Thats another way of saying you are a boss chick, full of masculine energy and insufferable.
Good for you Cynthia👏👏 You should be proud of who you are and your accomplishments. To put alpha females and feminists together in a category with strong, independent women respectfully is unfair; because they are each very different. This isn't the 1950's anymore and strong, educated, independent women are more the norm these days than the exception. There are some men that find those qualities intimidating and that's really more of a them issue than a you issue; while there are many others who find it attractive and respectable. By no means is being independent an indication that we are not extremely loving, loyal, caring, nurturing, interdependent women. In fact it's quite the contrary and we are just as capable of pouring into our man as much if not more than a woman that is financially dependent on her man can. 💛
@@Goldenheart2911 Yes, good on you all. You have been saying/telli'g this to one 1nother for drcades - and here you all are still. Becky, and every other non-Black women have been getting/having all the good, decent, gentlemen you all say/pretend/fake that you want. Good on you. Loooool.
Let me also congratulate, and say good on you. Hope your accopplishments keep you warm. Give my regards to the cats and dogd. Loooool. Amen.
@@Goldenheart2911 I agree that we can be strong, loving and caring. And I have met many men who value independent women, especially if they have daughters. I have also encountered men who blame feminism for ruining the black family. I think women should define femininity for themselves and not let men define us.
You are so Correct. I’m a
Dental Hygienist and so is my daughters’ dad . When we were together , he had me paying 1/2 of the bills. Plus child care , & healthcare for myself and our daughters. And he was cheating. Needless to say. I left in 2016, moved to an apt , stayed there for 3 yr , while saving to build my own home . Literally built my own..
See you didn’t need him at all…GREAT JOB!!!! We as women should stop thinking we got to be a ride or die chick and the man will be faithful because it is the furthest from the truth…although this guy comes off as a nice guy he is definitely a Chauvinist!!!!!! Men have become fragile little females all up in they own feelings…I am glad you showed him…and pray you get over the brokenness of an unfaithful husband that YOU had to build up then turned around and get defrauded by…can’t stand these pathetic as men these days no back bone at alllllllll no more..just brute…no more men…these men are weak!!! I cannot I rather be myself and take care of myself then be a slave to an ungrateful man!!! Be blessed sista!
Friendship with expressed interest is DEFINITELY a topic I am interested in hearing about. Looking forward to that video 🙏
Great suggestion, I will add it to my list to get it done!
Speak on IT! Communication is one of the key points in a relationship. Even myself I have learned how not to reply so fast before thinking about my answer. Sometimes we have to slow down and think how will he receive this. I have learned so much just by listening to you,
I have also learned that sometimes I must be quiet, listen & learn. You're amazing Stephan!🙏🏽❤️
You take time to break down everything to where a baby can understand!🙏🏽🙏🏽
Glad to hear that, don't forget to share so that others can receive love, healing, and clarity ❤ 🙏
@@MeetStephanSpeaks Will do!
What I like the most about your videos is your laugh 😂, especially when you laugh at something that is actually really serious topic. You laugh, than I start laughing, my dogs start barking, s**t gets crazy over here 😂... seriously, I love your videos so thank you and hello from Slovenia 🙏
❤️ 🙂 Thank you for watching and for your feedback. I appreciate hearing from you 🙏
I respect what you're saying, however, many women such as myself have healed from severe abuse & are just as sensitive & shy about his intentions. I never see myself as a "prize" but a valuable person that deserves him to be mature & honest
Thank you for sharing, I appreciate your feedback ❤ 🙏
I had a man that within the first month of our acquaintance he wanted to sleep with me. I enjoyed his conversation so my statement was, " I thank you for the offer, but I'm a woman of purity and if I'm going to do this, it will be as a married woman." I was shocked, but he THANKED ME FOR MY HONESTY AND CLARITY. We have developed a very good friendship and it has been so for about 7 years. One day he asked me if I could love him. I said I already do, because I love all my friends.
He has life style issues that I am not willing to live with, if the relationship were to go deeper.
With being good friends, the potential for me to fall in love is there. Like you said, since this has been built on a friendship basis, the expectations for dating and deeper physical expressions are not there. It has been enjoyable to build this friendship for sure. So, yes, you have placed the abstinance statement in a very healthy context! Well done and this is a very good video too.
Thank you for sharing your experience! Hopefully, it will help others learn from it. I appreciate that 🙏
"a lot of women self sabotage potential relationships in the dating phase because they're not allowing themselves to embrace the good that's in front of them" I sadly am guilty of this due to my anxious attachment style and now the guy I was talking to is clearly no longer interested and we no longer talk except for on rare occasions. It's hard not to think about the "what could have been" but what's done is done, sadly.
Men shouldn’t mention their exs either. I was dating a guy who didn’t heal after his most recent breakup when he asked me out. I took a whole year to heal after my last relationship that lasted four years. I went on a self love journey. The best thing I ever did for myself. Now I find it very hard to find someone suitable to date because men tend to not do this. So they are never ready for what I have to offer.
This 💯
Your comment is my whole dating life story
100%
Just one minute in, but I wanted to say I really enjoy the whole format and style of your videos (have been bingeing them!)- the jumping in the topic sans intro, the format, pace, cadence of your speech, your lovely likeable personality (I always smile or laugh when you do!). Basically don't change this perfect formula! OK looking forward to the content now :)
❤ 🙂 Thank you. I appreciate that!
@@MeetStephanSpeaks I appreciate you! Thank you very much for your channel ! You helped me so much in a recent- mini-heartbreak I experienced. Love that you incorporate God, prayer in your teachings- very unique. Thanks again
I am an independent woman. I'm a single mom and I have to take care of everything on my own. Does that make me difficult? I didnt choose my circumstances and never imagined my marriage ending, but here I am.
You are just a special person who deserves another special person.😊
"The fear is so strong that men that don't even have money still have the fear" 😂😂 They be the main ones
Thank you for sharing your thoughts, I appreciate hearing from you ❤
As always, thanks Stephan.
Great point on 'building friendship' with expressed interests.
With no room for confusion. 🙌
My pleasure ❤️
Hi Stephan, can you start adding timestamps to your videos? It would be nice to go back and listen to certain points in your video that I need more clarification on. Thanks!💜
Totally agree with this video and ironically this is what I've been doing lately! 1) No need to worry about anything when it is just the dating stage...both people are free to explore! Being possessive early on is a major red flag. 2) Someone that makes more money could also spend more therefore not overall financially healthier. 3) Get to know each other as friends first and allow freedom if wishes to maintain purity instead of jumping into "dating" where there are certain expectations.
Thank you for your feedback. I appreciate hearing from you ❤️🙏
Thank you for your feedback. I appreciate hearing from you ❤️🙏
I really appreciate your platform. Because you are teaching men and women how to date in a positive manner. I have to start dating again at 39 with two children. I was married for 18 years. I feel lossed and frustrated, but God knows best. God bless you because your videos give the male perspective on how they think and move.
39, divorced with 4 kids here. I spent the last two years looking after myself and building my life. I’m in a relationship now ☺️
I thought my divorce was the end of companionship for me and just decided to be single and happy. I feel like that contentment in my life set me up to meet someone.
Once dated a man who was insecure because I was more educated though I never did anything to make him feel less and suddenly he wanted entitlement to what's not his. Eventually, we fell off.
Thank you for sharing your experience! Hopefully, it will help others learn from it. I appreciate that 🙏
Tell me how to get someone to conversate with you I'm having a problem and trying to get them to open up and conversate
Perhaps you're unaware of what you were doing
Did y'all talk about it?
@@Gintoki_Madao yes we did and he would repeat that at least I have a degree and I was pursuing a masters. He later enrolled for a degree programme which he failed to complete because of money. He got money and was building a house of which I had just a plot but, despite him haven done his 3 quarts he added on the fact that I owned land with proper documentation. I encouraged him to get his paper work and he was overjoyed when it came through. He asked for help towards the house and I did a lot. Only to be told later that he wants a woman who is around because now the house is finished and he has a better job. He mentioned that he wasn't ready to settle then but, now he is ready so I asked him whether he meant that I should stop working and he kept quiet though kept checking all my social media activities.
@@Gintoki_Madao in the meantime he used to spend on high quality clothing on himself "pricy" clothing which clearly showed that he had enough money but, would make it a point to mention that I'm more educated and he equally wanted to be at my spiritual level of which he made effort to try out fasting. He was pleasantly shocked at how many doors of opportunities opened up for him at the time. The problem came in when he moved to a different town and became very secretive suddenly he no longer communicated with the same consistency nor made effort to visit it became a one sided relationship.
Great video Stephan. I particularly like when you said focus less on dating and focus more on building friendships with expressed interest. I want to get to know someone more genuinely and then I can really get to know if that person and myself would be compatible to take the friendship further.
Glad to hear that, thank you for your response!
@@MeetStephanSpeaks ❤
What the Heck! I would Never say "I'm the Prize" to someone. I don't even say that to myself, lol.. Don't people have any Humility these days? 🤔
It be the main ones who ain't even close to being a prize too😂
We don’t have to tell him we are the prize but there’s nothing wrong with thinking it. 💯
Thank you for sharing your thoughts, I appreciate hearing from you ❤
But you’re not though 😂
That comment that in dating “most people bring their representative” and that dating is a human construct vs abstinence which is a God thing really blew my mind & made my heart laugh! Relevant to where I’m at currently. Thank you for these gems!! 😍🙌🏽🥳👏🏽🔥🙏🏽
You're very kind to us women with great advice delivered compassionately for us to grow. Very interesting and thoughtful perspectives. ❤
This is good… I’m going thru a breakup now and she always thinks I’m talking to another female and I see now it was from her past why she doesn’t believe me… Guys who cheats makes it hard for the really good genuine men out here 😞
I feel you, it definitely isn't an easy situation, but the focus needs to be on doing what is truly best 🙏
This happening to me at the beginning of the relationship. My boyfriend had hard time to trust me because his ex girlfriend cheated on him, so everytime I went out, he would ask me "where do you go, who do you met, who talked to you?". He was so paranoid!!! I tried to tell him that he needs to get over his ex girlfriend because I wasn't her. I gave him an ultimatum: "or he changes his attitude or we break up" because he was stressed the hell of me.
A female what?
The problem a lot of us women have experienced is that most men are talking to other women with sexual hookups in mind. The not trusting comes from being lied to and being cheated on
The EX discussion is sooo true. Especially the context. I have recently experienced this but from his end. It definitely raised concerns. I am over it.
Stephan, for men who can’t handle an independent woman, no matter how much you stroke their egos, it won’t last and it’s a waste of the woman’s time.
I’d prefer to know that up front and pass on a man like that. I’ve done my share of ego stroking and learned it the hard way, as soon as they see I have a successful career, I take care of my needs, and I will be able to retire comfortably, they know they can’t measure up. This is great for me to filter out unqualified men.
I know every woman is in different situations. But hiding the independence in women won’t do us any good.
Each woman should know her bottom line in men and make that clear as early as possible. If you are a millionaire, are you going to date a guy in credit card debt? Won’t you want to know that? If you tell him you are financially secure and will not respect men who can’t manage their finances, and he runs away, won’t that be the best thing you do for yourself?
I said to my boyfriend when we're just starting dating that I'm abstinent and wanted to wait, but I kind of regreted it because, but I love him for that, is that he respected it. But yes, maybe I can also wait since we're both young. We promised each other that one of us will stop each other from temptations if it's too much or crossing the line. But I'm thankful since he stayed. He was the one who asked me out on a date and I was the one who made a move for him to be my boyfriend😊.
Sometimes, relationships are exhausting!
It definitely isn't an easy situation, but the focus needs to be on doing what is truly best 🙏
I would love to watch the video about "friendships with stated interest." This is something I've been trying to get some guys to understand, but it's never perceived well. Definitely will be waiting for that video. 😊
Great suggestion, I will add it to my list to get it done!
I agree, I'm in that situation currently and felt like it was a negative and wanted more but now see a new perspective. I'm glad we are getting to know each other without pressure.
Me too. I would love to watch this video😊 “ friendships….”
Honestly....I hear you but I'm so tired of tip toeing around a man's fragile ego just based on words. These men are so hyper attached to their past and the words they think you are saying that they aren't even taking the time to see who you really are and how you operate in life...I'm just exhausted and over it. The emotional endurance that we are now required to have in addition to taking care of ourselves, being submissive, being a full time care taker, chef, maid and voluntary porn star is not fair to us at all. Referring to the alpha, strong women.
yea you don't sound easy to deal with lol
@@moneygz234 Right? She thinks for herself and doesn’t roll over for a man. If that’s difficult for you, maybe you have some things you need to work on.
We have to lower our values in the relationship to drag the man along because if we don't we will be alone. It means 'dumbing down' to get the man you want.
Not the 'voluntary porn star'🤣🤣🤣🤣 ROTFL. Thanks, I needed the laugh & totally agree with you👍🏾
@MoneyGz23 she ain't wrong , maybe you need some help
My favorite phrase you say is,"I don't condone it!" Lol. Seriously, I think when men get caught up by labels, it's due to their feelings and insecurities and not about the doctrines of thought. Feminism has always been about equality and equity, not about some perversion of thought that women are better than men. It's about equal partnership and valuing each other. When men dislike feminism, I think they weed themselves out to the woman. Anyway, great video. I love your discourse.
Men who rant about feminism hate the thought of women having choice. It means they have to actually be about something. But then they're conveniently okay with having all kinds of premarital sex with liberated women. 🙄
Number 2 definitely describes what I think of most men, even if I don’t say it out loud! 😊😊! I’m trying my best not too judge a man before I truly get to know him. I’m a working progress Stephan! I appreciate your thoughts on this topic! Thanks!
My pleasure ❤️
Thank you. Its always a blessing to listen and correct certain behavior you never knew. Appreciate it.🙂💙
Glad I could help 🙏
Yesss gratzy Stephan! Can you pleeease make a video that goes into the benefits of abstinence? I have a high sex drive and used to think very negatively about abstinence. Until I experienced the benefits in my life. Spiritually as well as overall. I think it needs to be addressed by a man. To help enlighten other men 🦋🙏🌬
Great suggestion, I will add it to my list to get it done!
Yes your right because this is how I feel blessed with my man and I respect him genuinely. I know better than to ask that question about him having a lot of women and I realize he is trying to get to know me. We have takeout time in our relationship so we know our value in each other.
Thank you for sharing, I appreciate your feedback ❤️ 🙏
Thanks for sharing ❤️, I don't like to talk about exes neither I don't like to hear about exes. If anyone brings up an ex of mine I usually begin to distance myself from that person just to protect my own peace.
Agree 💯. 💛
Thank you for sharing, I appreciate that ❤️
I stumbled onto you and absolutely love your views and gave me hope; that gentleman are still abound! I seriously feel that your thoughts are hope u truly believe! Thank you for sharing!
Blessings ❤
Thank you for this video. Just what I needed to hear. Past experience can make one have a skewed perception. Building authentic friendship is key to a great relationship. Be blessed.
Indeed, it really helps when we embrace that.
All good points. I only ask if they are in relationship, married etc because I don't want to promote cheating. Men should be made aware of what you expect and what type of woman you are. It's always something!! Why can't people just be mature, honest and healthy without having to worry about all this stuff.
Thank you for your feedback, I appreciate hearing from you ❤️
oh Felicia, what fun would that be 😅
In regards to the “alpha women “ statement , I’ve never said this to a man but I WILL START !
This is a simple way to get an understanding of someone’s communication level .
Will you go based on what you assume or will you ask so we are both speaking the same language?
If you hear alpha woman and think difficulty, that tells me you trying to run a muck !!
And I’m good .
My ex told me he was the Prize and was definitely selfish, narcissistic and now alone.
Starting with a solid friendship is probably the key anyway.
I’ve literally heard men say all of these things & I hated it….it throws off the energy and vibe. Great video. Listen up people. Another gem 💎
Hiding the energy. Wow. This man I WAS dating would talk about this one ex and I literally saw his eyes light up.
He’s a musician and invited me to a show of his. I realized that at least two of his ex girlfriends were ALSO there. I felt so stupid and he told me he will never tell his ex’s not to come to his shows and didn’t think it was strange at all that these women still hang around. I expressed that I felt so unimportant and like everyone assumed I’m a low value groupie just like all his other exs. This man pursued me online without ever meeting me IRL, then tells me he’s not interested in getting into anything serious bc he’s so busy with work. WHY would he go out of his way to find someone he never met, love bomb them- then say he isn’t in a position to give them (ME!) what they need from him? He went from 100 to zero almost overnight.
Sounds like he's looking for a Fan Club.
Great truth spoken here. I was dating someone recently who spoke in all of the above. Men will state this as well. Red flags hit fast so I decided to walk away. Ppl must understand themselves before moving forward with a relationship. I’m just trying to make sense of dating and at this point I’m giving up…..
I ask questions like, “Do you like your mother?” , “Have you ever had a kitten?” , “Do you eat meat?” , “Butter or margarine?”… you know, the important questions. Heehee!
Thank you for sharing, I appreciate your feedback ❤️ 🙏
Thank you, Stephan! I’m going to just be by myself… happily! 👍🏾👍🏾👍🏾
Loved this! Thank you Stephan 👏🏽 this helped me for the next
I'm happy this has been helpful to you 🙏
My experience is men who have real money to spend, they really are not bothered by women wanting to know if they're financially stable and even successful. Often there's nothing more they want to talk about. However, I agree that this question is better saved for a proposal. If a man is asking to marry you I think you should absolutely ask this question. Just be prepared to be asked the same. A lot of men want to know they're not going to inherit unnecessary baggage. I agree it's more important to know how money is spent. But just because he makes lots of money doesn't mean he has a provider mentality.
Sometimes the richest men are tighter than a goldfish anus 💲🐠
Thank you for sharing, I appreciate that ❤️
This. If you have bad credit, tons of DEBTS, unhealthy shopping habits, student loans… all that needs to be shared with the man if he is looking into marrying you. I’m a woman but I see too many women just waiting for a man to rescue them from their poor financial choices. No, that’s not how it works.
@@iamme7664 absolutely agree. He may want to help but it's not right to blindside people. It should be his choice.
Men have learned not to say certain things to their woman so I don’t see a problem with us women learning what not to say to our men. I refuse to say I’m the prize in my relationship. I know I’m a good woman but I also know my man is my prize. He’s so perfect for me and I’m happy to say that he’s the prize and he’s happy to say that I’m the prize.
You helped on my journey, thank you 🙏🏾 and bless you and yours.
I’m so happy you went into a deeper Teaching on this issue The Prize ! Thank God well spoken 🙌
Glad I could help 🙏
If I tell a man I'm abstinent ( before marriage ) and he runs, let him
You are preaching in this video Stephan! Thank you for this🙌
My pleasure ❤️
As a 32yo virgin, i dont even know how to convey this information to the guys i date anymore. It would be nice to have clarity on when in the dating process is the right time to share this information and how to do it.
Hey, can you make a video about avoidant, secure and anxious attachment types? I think that’s very important to know when dating.
Great suggestion, I will add it to my list to get it done!
Best to watch videos on that from mental health professionals
Stephan, I so appreciate your honesty and openness, like when you said “what the hell is that”, you definitely “get it “ and therefore you help others (women) understand 🌟
This man has really got a common sense. Hard to not respect. Thanks.
always good information and advice
I appreciate that ❤
I just had this experience with my current girlfriend. She mentioned abstinence this month once she got closer to religion. It is hard for me after dating for almost three years.
She wants to be married probably maybe? Or is maybe thinking about it.
@@Espisnails That is the goal in the end of the day. Planning to propose this year :)
The reason I'm alone I've learned is that men are never sensitive to my feelings. So after decades of my feelings being ignored why should I care anymore about being sensitive to men? Especially when they resort to manipulation or not following through with their promises. Why should I continue being sensitive? I'm nice until you cross me then who knows anymore. Perhaps the thought of just being alone without having to walk on eggshells sounds more peaceful. When they don't walk on eggshells with my emotions. What if just being alone and not having to worry about how I'm not sensitive enough sounds more appealing after decades of trying to be caring without getting hurt. And discovering the only time of peace in my life is when I'm alone and don't care about being with any man. I fantasize about being alone when I realize the relationship was a mistake because of how badly my feelings were ignored. What's the point of being sensitive when it's always used against me? I've noticed other women I've talked to through the decades that continue to be soft fail miserably and end up alone like me. It's really sad how one sided men get about their emotions and hurt the women they love with them.
I totally agree!
I don't have to say I'm an independent woman. Any man knows that right away because I live on my own and march to the beat of my own drummer.
Thank you for sharing, I appreciate your feedback ❤️ 🙏
This was awesome, thank you so much for all the insightful info. Im definitely guilty of the whole "independent woman" saying. Not that ive necessarily said it to men, but ive definitely carried that mentality. Also ive stated to friends that im "the prize" or im a "queen" in a playful but serious manner, but its cuz im confident in my worth. All these were great and gives me things to keep in mind so i greatly appreciate it. Have a blessed day! ✨🙏✨
❤️ 🙂 Thank you very much and may you have a great day as well 🙏
Men who have an issue with independent women are typically protecting their own inadequacy on being dependent _(and usually on said independent women)_.
I always say "I rather date a Man making 60,000 with a generous heart than to date 200,000 Selfish Man. Your video content be on Point! ❤
I love this one Stephan, thanks for sharing your thoughts on this one.
Great video, thanks for doing it, we need more of these!
Glad to hear that, thank you for your response!
I asked this guy you seems like you have other women after you . His answer was you can stop all of that .
Therefore , he’s keeping his options open if he doesn’t get what he wants from you.
I grew up in a household seeing my Dad give his paychecks to my Mom. When he wanted something he had to ask for it. I used to sneak and give my Dad money and buy him things because I didn't like how my mom was treating him. A man who provides for the household shouldn't have to ask for anything. It should be given to him without question.
He was no man
@@msdemeanour How do u not know he was DISABLED omw!!! Oh please
@Rhonda R that’s so sad, and it’s abusive behavior on your mom’s part. How is he doing now? I hope things are better for him.
@@msdemeanour, He is an Alpha Man and has always been! He got threatened by a narcissist which caused him to drink again. Narcissistic people ruin people. I pray for my parents. I love them very much from a distance, no communication because of my narcissist mom. My Dad is a giver and I thank GOD I inherited that from him.
@@Pinkcandy777, Let's pray for MsM. I didn't even share the whole story and there's judgment.
I'm tired of being independent I want to be a De-pendent RESPECTFULLY
🙏
Riiiiiigggghhhttttt I want to be an independent dependent
@@m.janeenharrison9355 😆😅😂
You cannot be independent without "dependent" 😌☺️
Say it for the people in the back!! Independent, strong etc. NOW I want to have the skills and resources to handle business on my own. If we get in a situation and I have to hold it down. I know how to do it. I also want my mate to be able to do the same. When two STRONG individuals come TOGETHER. There will be abundance in every aspects of the relationship. I no longer keep my needs quiet. I say something and ALLOW him to handle business. I'm at so much peace and restfulness in my life right now!!!
Your wisdom and advice is amazing! I have learned so much and have identified many ways to improve- thank you!
Just relax and date let the conversation flow gradually you’ll get too the more serious stuff but not before you decide if you even vibe.
Thank you for sharing, I appreciate your feedback ❤️ 🙏
Thank You for making this video, I can use it too make men go away. That one line didn't work online though. You have too many women LOL. I don't want a relationship or marriage with men but I'm open to male friendship. I love being single and free. One thing I've noticed about men in the last 23 years is, they haven't changed. They want what they want and they'll run you over, they don't listen, so I won't go there ever again. Single ROCKS to me. I'm complete in Christ. 🙂👱♀️😷
Hey, my take away on the topics is that for us as women to ask the person about their money,I didn’t think that was an appropriate question, I wanted to say thank you to my ex-husband on the friendship zone without benefits, but we did celebrate each other, go out of our ways to please each other so on ,without sex ,before dating, that was an awesome experience for me and I love it.❤thanks Stephan God bless your day 😁❤️🙏🏼
Thank you for sharing your experience! Hopefully, it will help others learn from it. I appreciate that 🙏
I was raised with the values and morals of my mom and dad that’s been married over 50 years. As a single woman, not in a relationship or dating then, I was the alpha, independent, and feminist woman being by myself. As a married woman, I didn’t need them as the forefront of my married relationship. My husband is ordained to be the head of the family and I became his help meet. No problems here being submissive………….PERIODT. Good information as usual🌹🌹🌹🌹💯💯💯
Thank you for sharing, I appreciate that ❤️
I am an independent woman! I’ve never met a man that gave me anything other than my Daddy! I am this way because I was forced to be this way. I can’t wait on a man to give me anything. I’m not a person who h8 men, or tear men down. I would love to be traditional but todays men aren’t traditional
I feel you, it definitely isn't an easy situation, but the focus needs to be on doing what is truly best 🙏
So grateful to you for the pieces of advice you give. 🧡👌
❤️ 🙂 Thank you. I appreciate that!
I really learnt alot here. I am so guilty of this "prize mentality" and talking about my ex. This is an eye opener.
Thanks stephan.
I never asked him what he had, but he told me he wanted someone who would go 50/50 in the relationship. This made me uncomfortable, why? Thought was usual statement. Never had parents who were there to educate me and really didn’t have tools or navigate while making a living- you just don’t know everything in life. No matter what people think- just walk a lifetime in my shoes- don’t judge or past judgement ❤❤❤
I'm different! I've never said any of these things to a man. I'm learning so much from you Stephan! Thank you, Sir!❤
Facts lol especially #1 I am the prize lol never heard of this nor have I said this
I'm happy this has been helpful to you 🙏
Same 😄😄
Great, especially where you said how much money you make doesn't matter, instead how you handle it is the key thing. 👌💯
We can all learn from what the exs did to bring us down. I do believe exa are a healthy conversation if you're not dealing with severely insecure current, possible mate. We all want to know what happened in your past relationships weather we want to admit it or not. My experience from the question of 'what are you looking for' is you risk that person PRETENDING to be what you are looking for just for you to realize later they were exactly what you needed to be running from. You give them the road map to waste your time NOT being themselves. Should you really ask a person...Are you jealous, controlling & insecurity & do you expect them to answer YES?
We started with friendship for a year and we became a best friend but after we decided to start the relationship everything changed.. we both got more sensitive, got mad at each others so quickly and i can tell have fight most likely everyday..
idk what’s the solution.. bứt being friends before start the relationship is the worst advice at least it didn’t worked out for me.:(
It’s because you know more then anyone about this person and they can’t fool you. It’s happen to me so I understand how you feel.
sounds like yall stopped being friends, stopped enjoying each other's company, stopped having fun with each other. Sometimes we "settle" in and forget to keep the excitement/energy alive and flowing... We think relationships should be "Serious" and somehow that translates to "no-fun" but it doesn't have to be that way.
Insightful video. I need to say this first; it was difficulty not focusing on the man in the mirror. A different background is needed (woosah)... Men and women friendships are just about impossible. One person will be interested in more, and will maintain the relationship hoping for more. It is time for people to grow up and hear hard truths. No other person is entitled to your body. If they cannot deal with that let them go freely... Dating is the time to get to know someone. Friendships usually take time to develop. If I like a man enough to get to know him, I like him for more than a friend... This is a problem in western relationships; old people (30yrs &up) 'dating'. Dating should ultimately lead to marriage. Otherwise get yourself a hobby or join a team; there you will have a lot of friendship possibilities.
Thank you for your feedback, I appreciate hearing from you ❤️
Thank you ! Number 7 Yes will need more added 🤗
Thank you for your feedback, I appreciate hearing from you ❤️
Now the bill thing. If a problem that I’m having comes up in the conversation, and he doesn’t offer a solution…… it’s a red flag for me for sure. The the extent of his solution does depend upon the amount of time we’ve known each other 😂
Looking forward to the video- “friendship with stated interest!”
Ensure you are subscribed and have clicked on the notification bell to be notified whenever I release a new video ❤ 🙏
Tell a man that you are interested in, that you are a help mate. One who loves God and yourself, that wants to add to his life and enrich his soul. He may then look at you like you are A PRIZE! Blessings 🌸
Thank you for sharing, I appreciate your feedback ❤️ 🙏
I’m so relieved I don’t naturally say any of these things. In fact, the majority of them surprised me. 😂
Men also use women for their money as well. I saw it happen in a family member's relationships. It's sad whenever money becomes an issue in this way. Your suggestions are good and I took them all to mean they went for men or women. Keep up the good work.
Men who aren't independent themselves are largely being financially supported by women. Men don't really even support other men financially
I really enjoy your videos. Your stuff gives me good clarity on dating someone. I do tend to almost self sabotage things with him and we are just starting out. I know it's unhealed spaces I still have that I'm facing and am willing to do so. Thank you for these videos. This connection is very different for me. I'm use to the type of guys you talked about in another video that love bomb then basically don't want you once they have you. Doesn't do that which I like but its also making some insecurities come out because we don't have a lot of time together
Great advice Stephan 😎
its best to date with your eyes, ears wide open ~
Also they could be a covert vulnerable narcissist cloaked as Mr. NICE guy so pay attention if his behaviour matches his words
Indeed, it really helps when you embrace that.