I FELT WORTHLESS - Psychedelic stories ft.WesBTW
HTML-код
- Опубликовано: 24 дек 2019
- Destiny talks about his shroom & LSD trips, their aftermath, panic attack experiences & feeling apathetic.
Date streamed: 12/17/2019
Click▼
Follow Destiny
►STREAM - www.destiny.gg/bigscreen
►DISCORD - discordapp.com/invite/destiny
►REDDIT - / destiny
►INSTAGRAM - / destiny
Follow WesBTW
►STREAM - / wesbtw
►TWITTER - / wesbtw1
Use Destiny's affiliate link to buy stuff! www.amazon.com/?tag=des000-20
Produced by Voddity
►Voddity - / voddity
►Edited by - / scienyt
►Thumbnail by - / lucckyys
Music:
►OUTRO: / cc6-mastered-3-conflict
He’s still on reckfuls couch
Marc Queen he didn’t know
He lacks the necessary information PEPE
L Holliday PEPE LAUGH
What’s cute is that Destiny thinks his trip has ended
Destiny if you are reading this, you need to WAKE UP
OH GOD PLEASE WAKE UP
WE'VE BEEN STUCK HERE FOR YEARS DESTINY. WAKE THE FUCK UP
DESTINY WEVE NEVER LEFT THE COUCH PLEASE WAKE UP
DESTINY GET UP FROM THE COUCH WE'VE BEEN WAITING IN THESE WALLS
A lovely subject for christmas day 😂 gather round the fire kids and hear about uncle Stevens feelings of impending doom.
3 years later and another Christmas
When I took mushrooms I remember truly believing that the beginning and end of our existence can be explained by cosmic bubbles forming and popping. When we are conceived, those bubbles form and interact with other bubbles, and the existence of a bubble constitutes a literal reality within and outside of it. When we die, the bubble’s insides become the outside, hence we form into one with the universe. It was very profound and beautiful. Definitely made me reconsider what it means to die or exist.
I feel like I owe an apology to Wes for shitting on him pretty hard, outside of large group situations he's actually a pretty cool dude. Sometimes large groups are just like that for people. Merry Christmas all
he is a professional grifter, the reason you hated him was because he played the insane right winger because it made him popular, the reason you like him now is because he is playing the reasonable centerist who just wants to learn.
Lief Deltora I mean he used to actively want to piss people off, he’s just calm down more
@@NumaAnas Greektrue
I got carbon monoxide poisoning and then had anhedonia for a month straight. I literally wouldn't wish that on my worst enemy. I would just lay in bed all day because I knew nothing would make me happy. I thought I would never feel anything again. It wasn't even that I wasn't motivated to do something to improve my mood, I just knew that anything I did that day would not register emotionally one way or the other.
The weirdest thing about this arc is Destiny's friendship with Wes.
Imagine thinking that you actually left reckfuls couch. At this he’s fused 100% by now
It's so comforting to know that someone as head strong as destiny feels like that sometimes.
BlinkandDie it actually scares me BCs I have done like 600 ug acid and was fine but friends weren’t and gonna do shrooms and now I’m scared
random boii he did 10gs on his first try, I doubt the same will happen to you if you do the recommend amount
The thought loop thing is insane. You feel like your trapped in a thought, and you cant escape. I've taken lower doses of shrooms and I got into a headspace where I felt like if I concentrated, I could induce one of those thought loops on my self, and talk the person that I was tripping with into one.
I had a gf once who use to overdose LSD or Shrooms and get stuck loops. It was terrifying. If this does happen, my suggestion is keep reminding them they are not dead, they just on drugs, and distract them whenever they start looping again.
Psychedelics, especially mushrooms are no joke, but every person who thinks they are of sound mind should do them at least once. Destiny’s operating system metaphor is pretty much the same as what Terence McKenna described. Nobody just sees objective reality when they look around. All sense data is thoroughly filtered by the time it reaches your conscious perception and psychedelics mess with the very framework by which your brain interprets reality. Even if you get nothing out of your experience you will at least have been introduced to the experience as a concept. Sometimes, even if you were reluctant to it at first, you realize that getting outside your operating system was just what you needed. Just make sure you’re not in a weird state of mind and the environment is safe and friendly and predictable with people you trust.
Don't do psychedelics if anyone in your family is bipolar or psychotic, because you could trigger that in yourself if you have the necessary genetic markers.
KALSKingdom Exactly, I didn't want my comment to be so long nobody reads it so I emphasized those who think they are of sound mind. Its so difficult to tell any one person whether they should or shouldn't but the warnings really can't be understated.
I had debilitating depersonalization/derealization for a bit over a year. At 27 years old, I can easily say that was the worst time of my life. I was convinced I was going insane the entire time, and spent the majority of every day worrying and obsessing over it.
It makes sense it happens after your panic attacks, I’ve heard it’s basically your brain’s defense mechanism to intense fear/anxiety.
Destiny should definitely talk about this with Harvard Andy. 10/10 content potential.
@Black Guy Reacts to lame whiteboy music wow dude u totally just trolled us all wow im so angry and outraged and omgg i cant believe i got trolled woah wtfffff
@@thirdworlds6294 I dont think he was trying to troll considering his second sentence contains completely obvious sarcasm
Favorite type of Destiny's video, also love WesBTW's input here, interesting stuff
If anyone has panic attacks on the regular, watch Harvard Andy.
I’ve meditated on and off for years but never seriously, but since I’ve watched HealthyGamerGG around 3 weeks ago and meditated every night, I’ve been able to lessen or even completely stop my panic attacks.
If you watch the videos on his channel and try and grasp what meditation actually does, it helps so much.
Meditation allows you to quiet your mind and realise the thoughts are not you. By focusing on the breath and not focusing on the thoughts during the panic attack you realise the attack is your brain going haywire but not your actual self.
onewithmyself
I’m no expert, but I think one of the benefits of long term meditation is that your mind wanders a lot less. Over time you learn to take control of your thoughts rather than being taken along for the ride.
Are panic attacks always irrational? I can't remember having one but moments of extreme stress have been because the consequences of my actions or inaction. Distancing myself from those thoughts seems.. Weird. I only feel stressed because I care about it. Detaching myself from it sounds like a way to care less. It may be healthy to do so but it doesnt sit well with me.
Svenpa
I find it hard to explain since I’m not an expert but I’ll give it a go.
You are not detaching yourself from your thoughts, just realising thoughts arise whether you do it willfully or not. For most people their thoughts control them, when meditation teaches you to reverse the dynamic.
Think of your thoughts like a self driving car. For most people the car goes where it wants and people follow because they think they have no say. Whether you go somewhere good or bad is not up to you yet you experience it none the less.
What meditation does is teaches you how to take control of the wheel and either stop the car or steer it where you want.
If you are interested in it or do not understand my explanation I’d watch HealthGamerGG’s videos on RUclips about it. He explains it far better than I ever could. I’ll give you some pointers on some of his videos that helped me too if you want.
I’m not being hyperbolic when I say it might be the best thing I’ve ever done.
onewithmyself
That’s great! Hope you’re doing better now. I’m working through similar issues and realising this has also helped me tremendously, probably more than anything else.
It also helps to know that you can't stop thoughts from arising, and that trying to ignore them is only reinforcing the fear of losing control. Once you see a thought for what it is (just a quick flash of an image), you simply stop floating helplessly into anxious fantasies.
Is it just me or do those memes of people saying "please wake up, youre in a coma" give you a small sense of existential dread
They're not memes though. He still is in a coma.
@@speedfastman why do you think he's still in a coma?
@@1Insurgency1 because I'm just inside his head.
@@speedfastman being inside someone's head makes them comatose?
@@1Insurgency1 you too only exist in his head! Why are we even arguing about this?!
I have never heard the term Anhedonia, but it sounds exactly like what I felt when I used to be depressed. It was like switching between 90% Anhedonia, 5% sadness and 5% happiness.
I love how every single person in chat also had the exact same experience. Like his entire fan base dealt with intense panic attacks. Sureeee
I had some of your experiences without drugs, I also had panic attacks when I was 15yo for 3 months, and in those 3 months I also felt an ongoing vertigo. But doctors couldn't find anything and eventually it slowly disappeared by itself
About seven or eight years ago, there was a period of a few months where once every two weeks (to the day) I experienced depression. I didn't realize it was happening until a particular day where I was convinced I was going to go home after work and kill myself. When the feeling went away, cause it only lasted a few hours, I realized it was a weird temporary feeling I was experiencing. Every time it happened afterwards I was about to step back and know that it was going to fade away in a few hours, so even if I felt a strong urge to do anything I wouldn't. I feel fortunate that I happened to be at work and not at home or I might've done something irreversible.
I can hear Tennyson playing in the background! They’re so fucking awesome!!! And they’re fucking AMAZING blaring on headphones on LSD!!! Such fucking awesome glitchy jazzy vibes!!! Such a rollercoaster journey in every track!
Destiny my dude its time for meditation.
That feeling of being in a hole destiny was talking about is depression i think. I had it for like 5 years starting in 7th grade and holy fuck dude. Like life was just torture. Every waking moment was like suffocation. And it was constant. No breaks. When nothing gives you joy, youre just fucked. I would google ways to kill myself painlessly but i would never follow threw because i didnt want my parents to suffer.They loved me very much. They still do. I would hope one day to either get into a fatal car accident or have my parents disown me so that i may end myself in peace. Thats why its so important to have people who care about you. Im certain i would have long been dead if they didnt show me as much love as they did, without knowing i was depressed.
I have had the disassociation effect several times on my daily drive to work. It helps to put in perspective all your constant worries and realize that it's either going to work out or it isn't, the only thing you have to do is your best. Its probably because is I and a daily bud smoker
30:20, literally the best way to explain this. I've felt this exact thing before on lsd
what game is this he is playing?
Any form of entheogens - whether lsd, psilocybin, mescaline or tryptamines in general....there are comfortable dosages and then there are uncomfortable dosages.
Losing my grasp on reality is my deepest fear, man
Adam, it's too late. Here is not here, now is not now, and you are not you.
What if I told you that "insanity" is just realizing the truth that reality is unreal? Some people can't handle the truth, but some actually do (ask that psychiatrist).
@@user-uq4gr5nl5o thanks for that lol.
@@maggiepaul5911 You're welcome.
where can i find the video of hin taking the drug?
I have depersonalization/derealization disorder. It sucks. I have had it all day every day for almost 6 years now. It was after smoking a shit ton of weed my first time without knowing better; which is a common story amoung people with this problem.
It gets better though. I mostly stay at a baseline low level of dp/dr nowadays. It's not awful like it first was but I'd be lying if I said I don't miss feeling completely "real" or "grounded". Even talking about it now makes it worse, you kinda just have to forget you have it, like tinnitus.
What is this game ?
The feeling of lifetimes and months seems so scary. Literally inception shit
wait so people dont just always feel horrible and that nothing matters? there are people that are generally happy and fulfilled?
Can't tell if you're being ironic or not, but please seek help, talk to someone you trust like a relative or a friend they'll be there and can reach out to a professional for you
@@johnjohn3104 I'm half joking, a podcast made the same joke in a tongue in cheek manner because they feel that way, but the way destiny described his depression is fairly normal in my life
I remember being depressed when I was younger and literally thinking about the other kids I go to school with and wondering to myself “wow so do other people really just enjoy their lives and generally feel happy?” Idk why it was hard to wrap my head around. It is still weird sometimes to think that there are people out there who just don’t have any idea what depression feels like.
yeah they're called normies
I've got a brand of depression where I constantly feel happy and fulfilled, and everyone just thinks I'm lazy. But I guess that's still better than the alternative, so I can't compain.
i've had a lot of moments where i felt like my body wasn't me especially while walking outside, everything just felt much more clear even though i wouldn't think about anything and everything nature related was beautiful because i felt like i was seeing it much more clearly also my anxiety would usually disappear completely which felt absolutely amazing, i've never done any kind of drugs and it wasn't a negative thing so i have no clue whether that was disassociation or whatever. can someone tell me what that was?
you were experiencing your ego being gone, or your bipolar.
@@jboy1761 i think it was more like an ego death but i wonder how that can just happen randomly
Yo probably Tmi but
When I was 18 i had a massive mental breakdown dissociation anhedonia depression all at the same time
Anhedonia lasted about 3 months all I did was lay down and stare at a wall all day , one time remember lay on the floor next to my bed and not having the will power to move
In the end I thought I had died ,like I had killed myself and was now just haunting my house
I started cutting myself just feel somthing , anything..
Anyway 3 years later ,2 therapist and a bunch of weird delusional beliefs I'm so much better
Now i have friends,I'm going college ,able to talk to people without dying from panic attacks
And I want to be happy,
One more thing. I had a bad trip on LSD once, and it sounds like it might have felt similar to him drifting in the fractals. Mine tooka different form, as I was still present in the room I was tripping in, but small movements others made looked weird, so I started doubting reality, and I became convinced that I was actually in a hospital bed somewhere, and my friends were trying to get contact with my again, and I was projecting that into my hallucinations and that I was only imagining that I was in the last place I felt safe.
When I was sick that shit happened to me and I legit tripped balls I was literally lying in my bed playing Starcraft with no computer for like hours it was sick I added shit into the game I was in complete control
The de realization is blocking your emotional part of your brain due to stress
3:09 idk if any of you guys watch Mizkif's stream but doesn't this whole part sounds exactly like how he explained his experience a few months ago when he went to the ward. BTW i have never had a panic attack or anything so i dont understand any of it or if its normal to feel like that during/after one.
This is how I feel everyday. Without shrooms. Shrooms always make me feel better for a day or 2. Then back to "normal"
lol holy shit, Destiny, you're still in the trip ;D
I could listen to destiny describe being high alll day bro. 😂 I gotta see this guy high fr.
I think I've only ever had 1 panic attack... Was on campus walking by a crowd of people and then suddenly my heart started racing and I was just feeling very nervous and on edge... And I also wasn't thinking straight I don't think because for some reason I went to class despite my class being located like the 3rd floor of the building from where my panic attack started (and there were quite a lot of flights of stairs... Like, 2 sets of stairs between each floor and also another set of stairs to reach the building...)
Basically my heart was racing and I just wanted to not go to class and sit in my car, but I also knew I needed to get to class so like getting to class was all I focused on... I felt my heart racing, but I didn't really think about the implications of that at all and so I probably made it race even more by going up a ton of stairs... It was only when I got to the top and stood there waiting for my class that I was like "Am I having a heart attack or something?" and the beginning of that class I wasn't focused at all on the lecture... Was just focused on like what I was experiencing... I think it had ended like an hour or so into the lecture though and when I got home I was looking into what it was and I figure it was most likely a panic attack considering my age and anxiety and such... It felt like something about this crowd of people just triggered it to happen and I couldn't think straight for a bit... That's the only time I think I've ever experienced something like that...
I don't remember it enough to say whether or not I felt like I was about to die, but I think I definitely did feel a weird sort of dread just being around other people... But I felt like I had to get to class so I forced myself to... Was totally thinking of just going home though xd Was maybe just a minor panic attack I think, but was still pretty intense...
My first time trying weed I had a huge panic attack and then derelisation. About 7 hours ago I did this and I am still feeling it. Its horrible. I don't know how to get out of it. I logic my way out and it's only temporary. I am gonna sleep and see if anything happens. I hope it goes away. It will soon.
Ok what game is this always playing in the background
Stardew Valley
Mushrooms are hard to dose. You can have 2g with nearly no effect or 2g and they send you to another dimension.
It depends on how much psilocybin the mushroom was able to produce before it was harvested
After some mega dose trips where I looped out, was speaking in tongues, and breaking through, I had exactly this disassociative type of experience for years after. I would think myself into loops, I would have outerbody experiences where I felt like nothing was happening and everyone in the world is doing the same thing at the same time. I kept getting these uncanny feelings that I had never stopped tripping. Time wouldn't move. and I would feel like my mind and body were separate and were struggling to stay in the same place. The experience of looping gave me the thoughts that this looping behavior is always happening and the trip revealed to me this determined nature of reality. I felt a loss of control I never felt in my life. These thoughts used to give me the chills, brain zaps, and shaking while talking about it. I think I became desensitized to these uncanny feelings overtime, and now It feels as though it is much harder for me to have my mind blown by ideas. Although this has sent me through a journey of reading sci-fi, religious, occult, psychology books to figure things out, during the trip, between looping I would always come back to clarity and say "you can search for it, but youll never find it."
Interesting. Reminds me of a book I read called I Am A Strange Loop. Its about the strange nature of loopiness with respect to consciousness. Ckeck it out.
@@makeshiftaltruist7530 Thanks, ill definitely check that out.
I made my comment before finishing the video. Closer to the end, when destiny talks about intense part of the trip, about regret, that it was so stupid to do this and that this was the new reality he was going to be stuck in. I had a very similar feeling, that I had accidentally killed myself, that I regretted it so much, I thought of every person I knew--how much I was gonna miss them--, and I could picture a small newspaper article about a young man who died eating drugs. I felt like I was going to be stuck like this forever and I was just going to have to accept it. Its like one of those God save me moments. Its been 5 years so it is hard to remember the order of events, but I think that's what sent off the looping and speaking in tongues(which I feel like I was mimicking my auditory hallucinations without really being aware in the moment). Every time ive gotten to this point in a trip, and I feel defeated and give up, and give into the flow is when the crazy visuals and being pulled through happens. I would recount my visuals, but I feel like the most uncanny and disturbing part of the trip is somewhere in this transition, in this thought process, something that no words describe. I've always taken "you can search for it, but youll never find it" as the wisdom given to me by this particular trip, that this truth is unknowable, but having experienced this mystery, more than once from different substances, I still wonder and am suspicious. cheers
@@thethunderyears3664 Thank you for sharing your experience. I havent gotten stuck in a loop before but Ive taken care of others on bad trips trapped in loops. I actually had a similar feeling to what you described, where you thought you had killed yourself and that you felt this regret. I am currently really sick and to deal with the excruciating pain I was eating weed edibles, which (THC hinders your immune system). Well last night I thought I killed myself... I was begging my roommate to keep checking on me to see if i was alive but he would just fall asleep and I was left laying half on the ground certain I was doomed. I could feel my ego melting away. I stopped knowing who I was, Where I was, who others around me were and I was losing conciousness. I fought hard to stay barely alert for hours, until slowly I began to regan my senses, Then slept feeling safe I wouldnt end up in a coma.
Its terrifying to me how frail reality is. I hope you never have to go through that again brother. Peace
@@makeshiftaltruist7530 Thank you for sharing as well, I know it can be difficult to relive. I found a used copy of that book! Thank you for the kind words, and I wish you well on your journey.
It's all part of the self reflection.
what game is destiny playing in this debate
I've never had a panic attack, but I feel like I have an extremely high Base level of nervousness? If that's even possible? And I'm dreading ever getting one
Definitely possible, it just depends, but you'll find out eventually. In my experience, I never knew what panic attacks were or at least never thought I would have one, but after the first one, it was easier to have more because I was more experienced in what the come up/initial presets for a panic attack were, which shot me down an anxious path of thoughts. They suck but if ur determined to help yourself you can slow/stop the frequency that they happen. They can definitely catch you off guard.
The way I deal with anxiety is having the mind set of “come on then panic attack, kill me!” Almost welcome it, never run from it. Most the battle is you being scared of it that will trigger it more. Easier said than done though, it takes experience with the illness
@@MrKylesgj yeah it's just that it's really hard to see that mindset as ur falling into a panic attack, but definitely a mindset you should seek for.
KyleJames92 Ahh that makes sense, thanks for letting me know
Merry Christmas
oh shit i remember that name
With acid you’re in the driver’s seat, with mushrooms you’re in the passenger seat.
listening to this gave me a panic attack
Has anyone hallucinated because of migraines. Have had it 3x now and want to hear other stories
It messed I had ego death, and when n that panic and dissociation hit, id panic more. I wasn't in control and would be scared possible be doing embarrassing things or like a bad crime, but it just ramps the fight or flight further and further
took a year for me to get over thinking I was in a coma cause id always see signs that I was still tripping really weird
20:08 this happens to me quite a bit when smoking weed tbh.
As someone who works 2 jobs I prefer Mushrooms to LSD because i do not have the fucking time to be high for 15 hours.
Destiny lost his mind in this debate.
Is this a documentary of my life?
good timing
6:00 my default state lol
" ft.WesBTW" man he sounds a lot softer off camera
i mean hes in a conversation hes really interested in and i assume is enjoying no need to be yelling like a banshee over other people to get your point across. it isnt an argument
You've missed the joke completely, hes saying "ft. Wesbtw" but the girl (I dont know her name) was talking instead of Wes at the start... Thanks for making me explain. 🤣
Sam yeah shit went over my head i will not lie
Ez Af that’s fucked up
I know exactly what you’re talking about
I totally agree with lsd being cleaner feeling than shrooms. Personally shrooms make me feel worse the next day and sometimes during it and I'm way more alert on acid. Like I wanna do stuff and make stuff. Edit: but TEST YOUR SHIT seriously do NOT take it without knowing.
how do you test your stuff?
@@brandyyn Ehrlich reagent test kit. It’s pretty cheap, legal, and easy to get online.
@@nikmarshall2989 i have no idea what im looking at here tbh
Dissociation not disassociation
Who is the girl talking? Her voice is so soothing I want her to talk me to sleep.
Peachachoo she does asmr !!! It’s very soothing
@Sir Covid the 19th ME TOO hahah
Ya know what’s a fun trip? Having a 6 hour panic attack on Ayahuasca in the Amazon.
Who’s the girl
Pxie, the met during the height of the leftist arch
Why would they link Wes but not the girl? Seems kinda rude.
@@johnjohnson-os5gw we link content, we don't link leeches. squadW
17:12 bro I fuckin hate that shit lol. It's so terrible and unnerving.
I think the word you were looking for is Alexithymia
Destiny, you mention waking up to the illusion of concept, your chat talks about their consciousness leaving their body, ect. You even mention lack of desire - all with negativity. But do you think that those ideas are objectively negative? Do you not think that your attachment to a sort of reality is whats causing the suffering in those times of altered awareness? Im sure youve been told to meditate a million times but my guy...
FUCK that video that looks terrifying. I'll just stick to liquor and weed. I get so much good thinking done while smoking.
Rip
I greened out once and it was fucking wild. Felt like I was in a PS1 game and every time I entered a room it felt like everybody and everything outside the room I'm in got derendered. Great time
When Destiny does DMT he will know
He must be dosed with dmt, but right after locked in a room with Trihex who did the same to restore a connection of love that Destiny chewed off and burnt.
yo
Can you imagine if one country focused on education ? They would get all the good American job's . crazy idea right 😀
FOOD pirate ??
starchys graveyard shift you saw nothing
Do MDMA or Shrooms people stay away from LSD unless you know the chemist who's making it or it's a trusted chemist
Otha Bojangles or get it on the dark web
yoyoyo
*MMMHM*
bleep
tripping by meditation is totally real. i do it pretty regularly, (3+ times a week) and after a good 30 min session you'll feel like a new person :)
I'd like to know more about different kinds of meditation and different peoples experiences with it and how they feel after and how it actually helps like with your mentality or even physicality
@@onigengu7846 There are lot of resources online that can explain how it works way better then i can, but i can say for me I focused on the mechanics of how it works and the health benefits as apposed to the religious history or "m i n d f u l l n e s". Also, its good to start off with doing it for like 5 min at a time until you get better at it 👍
@@onigengu7846 I think the way meditation works is the same effect you get when you stare at a mirror In a dark room. Once you find a quiet spot to completely settle all of your senses, your brain gets used to the reduced sensory input and regards it as not important. When that happens, the parts of your brain that are normally focused on certain sensory inputs are put in a somewhat nebulous state where there is no focus. Random thoughts you may have in different parts of your brain can then influence the nebulous parts more easily and can produce certain physical sensations. But that's just my uneducated opinion
Destiny panic attacked mushrooms In this debate.
I've had crazy hallucinations off weed
first as
Anyone else PepeMods at Peachachoo, Destiny and Wes talking about their trips semi series while Peachachoo literally sounded like she wants ego death and like a druggy who hasn’t actually done any drugs, felt really disrespectful to be honest
I've had crazy hallucinations off weed
Ive had more disassociating experiences from weed than LSD or Mushrooms.
@@makeshiftaltruist7530 sure